Three Men, a Lady, and a Little Baby
by Esca Madeline
Summary: AU story. I'm the luckiest kid in the world, you know? I have a wonderful mommy, lots of toys, and the three greatest daddies in the world: Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy, and John Cena. CH39: She might have been under the gun, but it was alright. She was just having a bad dream after all...right?
1. Meet the Newlyweds and Bachelors

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: This is an AU story based off of _Three Men and a Baby_, the drama _Three Dads, One Mom_, and _Look Who's Talking_.

**One: Meet the Newlyweds and Bachelors**

…

…

…_is this on? Can everyone hear me? Great! _

_Ahem! Hi, everyone, my name is Jamie! My mommy calls me her "Little Miracle from Heaven," whatever that means! To be honest…I shouldn't really be talking to you right now, seeing as I'm not even born yet during this part of the story. Don't be scared, though, because you'll see me see me later on. In about fourteen months._

_You can all wait fourteen months for me to be born, right? I promise that I'm cute, and I swear you won't regret waiting for me!_

_But that aside…I came out here against the writer's wishes because I have to tell you guys something. I am the luckiest kid in the world, and it's all thanks to my mommy and my three daddies. Without them, my life would have been pretty boring, I'll tell you that much!_

_My mommy is the most loving, prettiest, kindest mommy in the world. She takes care of me and always tries to make me and my daddies happy. The other grown-ups call her June Grisham, and my daddies call her Junie, but that's silly. To me, she's just my bee-oo-tee-full mommy!_

_Randy Orton is the first of my daddies. He's what other people call a businessman. My mommy told me that the Orton family company is good at taking over other famous companies, and that Daddy Randy is a pro at what he does, so he's known in the business world as the "Legend Killer." Isn't that cool? But you know, he always wears these expensive looking clothes, and this makes Mommy really frustrated because she always has to clean his clothes more carefully. She always yells at Daddy Randy because he's so picky about his appearance and money, but I don't get what's so wrong with him. He always looks so handsome, and he gets me the best toys!_

_Everyone calls my second daddy Jeff Hardy. I like Daddy Jeff—he has the coolest looking hair! It's like, a bazillion different colors! And he listens to the best music. I love how he shakes his head up and down when he's listening to his songs, and I love how silly he looks after he finishes making one of his paintings. I think his paintings are very pretty. My mommy likes his paintings too…but she __**doesn't**__ like it when he spills paint all over the floor._

_Then there's my third daddy, who likes to call himself John Cena. The CHAMP! He's the funniest out of all my daddies! He's a detective, so he sometimes wears clothes that are different from Daddy Randy and Daddy Jeff, and he sometimes talks in this weird way that always makes Daddy Randy annoyed. I think mommy called it rapping, or something like that. I think rap sounds strange, but mommy always laughs when Daddy John sings like that, so I guess I like it too!_

_Yup, I love my mommy and three daddies._

_Hey…why are you all staring at me? Don't you all have three daddies too? _

_You don't? _

_What do you mean it's not normal to have three daddies?_

…

…

…_well then, I guess I'd better start my story from the top. Maybe that'll clear some things up._

* * *

"What took you guys so long? You're late!"

Todd Grisham stood by the entrance of the reception hall, fiddling nervously with his cufflinks as he stood next to his three closest, childhood friends. Randy, the closest of the three, merely snorted and glared at Jeff and John as they sprinted up the stairway, sweating and panting heavily as they bent over, attempting to catch their breaths.

"Yo, man," John gasped, clutching at his chest as he took large, frantic gulps of air. "It ain't…our fault…that the elevator broke…just as me and Hardy came into the building!"

"Yeah, Todd!" Jeff leaned against a nearby wall, running one hand through his multi-colored hair as he loosened the black tie that was around his neck. "It sure as hell ain't our fault that your wedding just happens to be on the twentieth fucking floor! Besides, we had to run up in these hot and stuffy suits. Give us some credit…"

Randy shook his head. "This wouldn't have happened if you dumbasses woke up early like I told you to. The elevator was working when _I _came in." Turning to Todd, who was still fiddling with his cufflinks, the Legend Killer slapped the bespectacled man hard on the back, smirking wickedly when his considerably smaller friend yelped in pain. "So, man…this is the point of no return. Marriage is the end of all the stripper clubs, lap dances, and those one-night stands with hot and horny sluts. You sure you wanna turn in your player card?"

"P-player card?" Todd flushed and turned away in embarrassment. "Cut it out, Randy. You know I've never been much of a ladies' man like you three were. Junie was, and will always be, the only one for me."

John grinned. "That's true. You were always the quiet one, even in school. Whenever a girl even _breathed _in your direction, you'd get all numb and frozen…" He stopped, and gave Todd a curious stare. "That's why it still amazes me to this day that you got your hands on a fine lady like Junie. What the hell could she possibly see in your bony ass?"

"You're not helping," Todd whimpered, looking about ten times more distraught then before. Luckily, Jeff smacked John hard upside the head, before wrapping a comforting arm around Todd.

"Man, forget those two shitheads," Jeff said reassuringly. "I envy you. She's one of the better picks of the litter."

"A pick with no money," Randy cut in, the smirk on his face suddenly turning into a frown. "Grisham, I told you not to get too serious with those poor chicks. We all grew up with her—we know the sort of shit she and that family of hers is involved in."

"How can you still be saying that?" Todd cried out in astonishment. "She has nothing to do with her dad's gambling habits, and she's always been there for us when we were kids! Remember how she used to bandage me every time I got beaten up by those cheerleaders?"

"So what?"

"And she always used to buy me paint brushes whenever I needed new ones," Jeff agreed, glaring at Randy in annoyance. Even though he wasn't as close to June as Todd or John was, he still disliked hearing negative things about her. "And remember how she'd always have a bottle of water ready for John after his football practices in school?"

"Which again brings me to this point," John interrupted. "Why the hell is a nice girl like Junie marrying _you_, Todd?"

Todd slapped a hand to his forehead, while Randy and Jeff sighed and shook their heads.

* * *

"Do you, Todd Grisham, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I-I really do. I really, _really _do!"

Neither Todd's family nor June's family had arrived at the wedding, mainly because Todd had no living relatives to speak of, and June simply had not invited any of hers. However, all of their friends were there, and said friends of both the bride and the groom looked at the couple standing in front of the altar, some smiling and some giggling as Todd and June exchanged blushes and snuck shy glances at one another, as if they were still teenagers harboring their first crushes.

"That boy is one sick little puppy," Randy grumbled, only to be shushed by Jeff.

Although Todd was supposed to keep his eyes forward, he just couldn't help but stare in admiration at his bride. To him, June just looked so beautiful in her white wedding dress, with her long, black hair tied in an elegant French twist and her hands gripping the bouquet of lilies in nervous excitement. Her large, dark eyes often turned to meet his own adoring ones, and a crimson blush would spread across her cheeks prettily before she smiled and quickly averted her gaze.

She was beautiful. She was compassionate. And she loved him. Todd had no idea why the heavens decided to bless him with such a caring, loving woman, but he sure as hell wasn't going to do anything stupid. He remembered when he had first mustered the courage to ask her out—she had been in the library, pouring over her biology books, and he had pretty much begged her, on his knees, to go out with him.

And then he remembered passing out a second later from the anxiety and overexcitement.

But still…when he awoke two hours later (and with his head in her _lap_, no less), she had smiled down at him, giggling, and told him that he needed to work on his approach just a little bit more.

And then she said yes.

"Do you, June Mia Barnett, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Todd stared blissfully at June, who once again stared back with the loving, shy smile that he had become addicted to.

"I do."

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

* * *

_Ewwww. Too much mushy stuff!_

_And who the heck is this Todd guy? Why is he marrying my mommy when she has Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John to take care of her?_ _Now listen, all you readers out there—I don't know who this Todd guy is, okay? I know for sure that he's not one of my daddies…_

_How do I know, you ask? Well for starters, he's just too wimpy to be my creator!_

_I mean, look at me! I'm way too attractive and intelligent to be one of his kids!_

_Aw, mooooommy! Why'd you have to marry that chump before you had me? That messes everything up! And…WHAT? You tried to make me using __**his **__sperm? What were you thinking?_

* * *

**Four months later…**

June shoved Todd onto the bed and ripped his shirt open, paying no mind to the buttons that went scattering all across the room. His mouth moved soundlessly, trying and failing to form a coherent sentence, but June cut him off by crushing her soft lips against his, kissing him with every bit of passion and lust that a young woman could give to her lover.

She was not fast, nor was she ruthless or forceful. Running her hands over his pale chest, she took as much time to pleasure her husband as her body and mind would allow, because although Todd was considerably less experienced than many of the men she had been with in the past, she loved his innocence and his willingness to let her have her way with him. Because of that, she always aimed to please him first before pleasing herself.

That was why she grinned when she felt him harden underneath her. She knew his body better than _he _did…

Aiming mostly for the lower lip, she opened her mouth and slipped in her tongue, prying past Todd's already half parted lips. As one of her hands reached down to stroke him underneath his boxers, she heard him moan deeply in his throat, a desperate, needful moan that June greedily swallowed. Her tongue explored his mouth, running over his teeth and tasting every part of him that was in reach. Todd's head bent back a little from the small amount of force, and he moaned once more inside his mouth as he closed his eyes.

To him, June tasted of the wine they had drunk not too long ago, minus the unpleasant aftertaste of the alcohol. And for a reason he couldn't understand or explain, the kiss by itself, just due to the sheer passion, was mind blowing for him.

Then again, everything about what June did to him during sex was mind blowing for him. She was his first, his one and only. Unlike Randy, Jeff, and John, he really didn't have anyone else to compare to…

His hand began to move through her hair, messing it and causing it to stick up everywhere. Her crotch pulsed in response to his, and she suddenly broke the kiss, breathing heavily as she yanked up her skirt and tried to pull her underwear off. However, a hand grabbed at hers, and June looked up bewildered at Todd's blushing red face.

"W-what's wrong, honey?" she asked, still a bit out of it due to the heavy make-out session. She could still feel his hardened length underneath her, so he wasn't any less horny than he had been two seconds ago. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no Junie…" Todd slowly pulled himself up, maneuvering himself carefully so that June slid onto his lap as he sat up. "It's just…it's been four months."

"Yeah…and?"

"And I know we've been trying hard for a baby."

"And we'll keep trying, sweetheart," June replied, smiling gently at her husband. "Really Todd, I don't mind. Sometimes it takes people a while to get pregnant. My mom didn't have me until a year into her marriage, and there was nothing wrong with her. That doesn't mean we can't have fun in the meantime, though…" She gently drew Todd closer to her body, cupping his chin in her hand as she did so.

"It's—it's just that…" Todd paused. Dare he tell her? Dare he tell her what had happened during his trip to the doctor's office?

One of June's wishes was that she would bear Todd's children, and immediately after their wedding, Todd had gotten to work on that wish right away. However, after four months of near constant, earth shattering periods of blissful lovemaking, June had still failed to get pregnant.

At first, they didn't think too much of it. Maybe they kept having sex during the wrong periods of the day, maybe they needed to change up their routines and positions in bed. They had fun with those experimentations for a good while, but after a time, the worry began to sink in. On the fourth month, June had gone to the obstetrician three times, and each time the doctor had assured her that she was perfectly fine, and that there was nothing wrong with her ovaries.

But Todd still worried.

His worry wasn't for June—it was for himself. Male sterility was uncommon, but not unheard of, and it was with a heavy heart that he secretly went to his doctor's for a test.

After a few days, his worst fears had been realized.

He was _sterile_. He couldn't produce sperm, not enough to impregnate a woman, at any rate. His sperm count was so low that one of the medical assistants had actually laughed at his face as she brought back the results. The situation was _that_ bad.

He could still come, could still get hard and aroused at the things June did to his body. But he couldn't get her pregnant.

Couldn't even fulfill his manly duties towards her.

"Does it bother you that much?" June asked worriedly, running a hand through his hair.

Todd snapped back to reality as he looked up at the dark eyes of his wife, realizing too late that he had drifted off. "Junie, it's not that. I'm just worried that…maybe there's something wrong with me."

"What? Nonsense!" June grinned as she pressed her forehead against his, her fingers pinching his cheek gently. "There's nothing wrong with you, sweetheart! You're my cute, sweet, cuddly knight in shining armor. You're perfect. My perfect, perfect man. I'll always believe in that."

_Well, maybe perfect's not so perfect after all. Ever think of that?_

"There's more than one way to get knocked up, you know," June said determinedly, slipping off of Todd's lap as she bent down to pick up the discarded buttons off of the floor. "If getting pregnant the old-fashioned way doesn't work, well, there's that new in-vitro stuff. Artificial insemination, and all that."

Todd gulped nervously. "But honey…what if there's something wrong with my sperm? What about going to a sperm bank for someone else's sperm, or adoption?"

"Now don't say things like that!" June cried, staring at Todd in shock. "Thinking negatively just increases the chance for bad things to happen! And what's all this about a sperm bank? I want _your _babies, not a stranger's! Really, what's gotten into you today? I don't ever want to hear words like that come from your mouth again, you hear me?"

"O-okay…" _Well, I guess telling her the truth is out. Crap, now what am I going to do? She won't adopt, and she won't even think about using a stranger's sperm…damn it, if only I could find someone I knew who could… _

He stopped, an idea clicking into his mind.

Someone he knew...

* * *

"OW! YOU FUCKIN' JERK!"

Out of the three roommates, Jeff was considerably the most level headed. But then again, compared to who he was living with, being the most level headed wasn't exactly the most difficult competition to win. Heck, even a person with ADD would have been considerably more level headed than Randy Orton and John Cena, and given the opportunity; Jeff would have traded an ADD guy with John Cena the first chance he got.

Shoving the still snoring, self proclaimed "Champion of the Police Force" off of his back, Jeff slowly stood on his feet and glared at the sleeping form of his soon-to-be-dead best friend.

…_fucking idiot…_

"Hey, Cena! Get your ass off the floor!"

"…zzz…"

"Damn it, Cena!" Jeff snapped, bending down to grab John by the edge of his shirt as he shook him with every bit of strength that he had. "Why the fuck do you insist on falling asleep in my fucking room? You have your own fucking bed, damn it, but you always fall asleep in_ my_ fucking bed, and then when I end up sleeping on the floor, you always fall on top of me! That's just fucking WRONG!"

John, who had dozed through a majority of Jeff's rants, merely shoved the rainbow-haired artist off of him and shuffled towards the bathroom. Through his daze, he ended up knocking over several of Jeff's paintings, as well as stumbling over Jeff's dog in the process, mumbling a half audible "S'rry," when the dog yelped in pain.

"JACK!" Jeff ran over to his beloved pet and scooped him into his arms, cuddling the animal as he glared fiercely at John's retreating back. "Watch where you're going, asshole!"

John rubbed his eyes sleepily, flipping Jeff off just before he disappeared into the bathroom.

"Hey!" Randy stuck his head out from his room, glaring daggers at Jeff. "Shut up, would you? You two are gonna wake up the entire apartment."

"It ain't my fault!" Jeff snapped, still carrying Jack as he made his way over to the kitchen. Passing by the bathroom (where John had left the door wide open) Jeff paused by the door and grimaced at the sound of the toilet flushing. "Shoot, man…if you're gonna pass gas, close the door, will ya?"

John snorted as he washed his hands. "If you don't like it, the Lysol's right over there. Say…" The detective looked around the bathroom in alarm. "Where's my barbell? Gotta get my daily workout before we visit Junie and Todd."

"It's by the window, you idiot."

"Don't you call me names, Hardy."

"You're both idiots," Randy said decisively as he came out of his room, wearing a tight blue shirt, along with black jeans. Grabbing the pot of coffee that he had boiling on the stove, he poured himself a cup, scowling as John opened the fridge, grabbed the new carton of orange juice, and proceeded to drink straight from the carton. "Motherfucker, that is _my_ juice."

"I don't see your name on it, homes."

"It's on the side, written in permanent marker!"

"…"

"…"

John took another swing from the carton, making Randy bang his head against the table in agony. "Why do I even bother with you? I could have asked my baby brother Nate to move in with me and Jeff, but noooo…I just had to ask _you_…"

"Everyone, just shut up," Jeff grumbled, grabbing a bit of bacon from Randy's plate before feeding it to his dog. "We gotta go visit Todd and Junie in an hour, so Randy, eat your breakfast and stop banging your head against the table—it was expensive."

"You're feeding _my _food to _your_ fucking dog!" Randy snapped, lifting his now red forehead from the surface of the table.

"And Cena," Jeff continued, ignoring the increasingly furious Legend Killer, "put some damn pants on."

"What about you, Hardy?" Cena protested, scratching his ass as he took a bite out of Randy's eggs. "You're still dressed in your sleeping clothes!"

"I don't need to change! I happened to fall asleep in jeans and a clean tee-shirt last night, which is more than I can say for you."

"What?" John looked down at his attire, which consisted of a greasy white wife-beater and a pair of old, red boxers. "Something wrong with the way I dress?"

"I ain't even gonna answer that, Cena."

Randy rolled his eyes, and snatched his breakfast back from John. "You two are wasting your time," he grumbled, shoving the remnants of his once-beautiful breakfast down his throat. "Why do you wanna go see Todd anyway? All he talks about is Junie, Junie, Junie…and she's always sitting next to us whenever we try to hang out with him! She doesn't even like us."

"No…" John made a grab for Randy's plate, frowning when he missed. "She doesn't like _you_. She _loves _Jeff and me. But unlike you, she at least attempts to be nice."

"I agree," Jeff replied, taking a sip out of Randy's coffee. "What'cha got against Junie anyway? She's our friend just as much as Todd is, but you ain't never gave her a chance even when we were kids."

Randy sighed, and rubbed his temples. "Dude, don't make me spell it out for you…"

"Spell it," John said loudly, running over to pick up the pair of long shorts and black tee-shirt he had left in the living room several nights ago. "You know I flunked spelling back in kindergarten. Spell it out, man."

"She's poor, alright? You know that you're not supposed to marry the poor ones! You're supposed to marry hot chicks that are loaded, so that you don't have to worry about financial problems when the shit hits the fan! Todd's an idiot—he should have married Stephanie McMahon when he had the chance. Now he's gonna have to work until he's sixty, supporting a woman and a bunch of brats that'll suck the money out of him like a fucking leech."

A harsh, suffocating silence suddenly descended upon the three men. For a long moment, neither of the three said a word.

Then, Jeff let out a low whistle. "Dude. That's fucking sick."

John turned his gaze to the floor, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, man. That's just messed up. But!" The detective then looked up, a too-bright smile suddenly gracing his handsome features. "Since you're not interested in visiting Junie and Todd, we'll just go on without you!"

Randy blinked. "Wait a minute…I never insinuated that—"

"Shoot, Cena's right for a change!" Jeff slapped a _hard_ hand down upon Randy's back, making the Legend Killer shriek with pain. "Since you ain't interested in coming with us, just stay here and baby-sit Jack! So long, asshole."

With John now fully dressed and already out of the apartment, Jeff picked up a gift bag that had rested by the door and gave the flabbergasted (and still in pain) Randy a grin, right before slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

"You guys didn't have to bring these things for us," June said shyly as Jeff kissed her cheek (which earned the Rainbow-haired artist a glare from Todd) and handed her the gift bag. Peeking inside, she smiled when her eyes fell upon a small teddy bear and a soft, baby-sized yellow sweater. "It's sweet and all, but you know you guys are always welcome here."

"It was no problem," John said quickly, giving June a smile so wide that all of his dimples could clearly be seen. "You deserve all the presents you can get, Junie. And I'm sure that when you and Todd get a baby, he or she'll like the beary." The young woman laughed, before she led the two inside, where Todd had already set up the poker table.

"Got the chips, the cards, and the I.O.U.s all ready," Todd said, grinning as John and Jeff took their respective seats. However, his grin faded when he realized that someone was missing. "Say…where's Randy?"

"Probably off sucking up to Hunter and Vince so that he can find a way to take over their companies," Jeff replied carelessly, picking up the card deck before shuffling them. "You know how desperate he is to climb that stupid corporate ladder."

"I thought it was his day off?" June said, carrying over a ridiculously large tray of sandwiches and refreshments. "I was hoping that he'd come…I even made his favorite sub sandwich today…" John, seeing that she was struggling slightly, quickly ran over to her and grabbed the tray.

"You shouldn't be carrying that!" the detective cried out indignantly, as he set the tray down on the table. "You don't have to do all this for us! We just ate breakfast—"

"You mean you ate _my _breakfast."

Jumping at the sudden sound of the baritone voice, everyone quickly turned around and saw Randy standing at the doorway, looking rather grim as he held a large white box in his hands. Brushing past a skeptical Jeff and a suspicious-looking John, Randy grumbled a brief "Hello," to Todd, before he stopped in front of June, who merely gave him a grin.

"Hi Randy! I was hoping you'd come! Poker just isn't the same without you."

"…" Without a word, Randy shoved the box into June's hands, before he stomped back towards the table and plopped down at his usual seat. "Cut the cards, Hardy," the Legend Killer muttered. Glancing at Todd and June (who was opening the box with curiosity), he said loudly and in a rude tone, "You two gonna play or what?"

"Oh my gosh!" June squealed, lifting the book out of the box. "It's a handbook on how to raise babies! Todd, I was thinking about getting one!"

"Um…yeah…" Todd laughed nervously, before giving Randy an appreciative look. "Thanks, man. We…might have needed this for the future."

"Yes!" June chimed in, hugging the book to her chest. "Randy, you're the best."

Despite himself, Randy smirked. "As always," he drawled, directing a cocky smile towards the oblivious June.

Meanwhile, Jeff tugged hard at John's shirt sleeve, keeping his voice to a low whisper. "Dude…"

"What?"

"I've seen that book before! It's the cheapest one they have in the local bookstore! I saw it when I was looking for that book on Da Vinci!"

"WHAT?"

"John? Is everything alright?" June stared at John, her head tilted to the side in confusion.

In all honesty, John would have ratted Randy out right then and there, with little consideration to his friendship to the so-called Legend Killer, but Jeff clamped a firm hand over John's mouth, and laughed nervously. "It's nothing, Junie. Let's just play some cards, yeah?"

"Sure! What are we playing today, boys? Texas Hold'em? Poker?"

"_Strip_ poker!" John yelled gleefully from underneath Jeff's hand, his anger at Randy temporarily forgotten.

While June did not find the suggestion amusing in the least, she felt a lot better when Jeff and Todd and Randy decided to pour their drinks straight onto John's head.

* * *

Many hours and several lost bets later, John and Randy stared each other down as they held the cards carefully in front of their face. "Alright Orton," John said in a would-be intimidating voice. "This is our last hand. Make sure you write that check to me as, 'John Cena, Champion of both the Police Force AND at beating Randy Orton's ass.'"

"You never shut your fucking mouth, do you?" Randy growled, staring at his cards in anger. Damn it, he had three Jacks, but that was it…

Jeff, who had folded a while ago, looked over at June, who was sitting on a nearby couch as she read from the handbook Randy had given her. "Hey Junie…you sure you don't want another game? Give me a chance to win my money back and all?"

June peeked over the book, her dark eyes shining playfully as she stuck her tongue out at him. "No way, Jeff my dear. You know I don't like to risk playing after a win like _that_."

"Aw, man…"

"Ha! Read them and weep, Orton!" John laid his cards out on the table, revealing three queens and two tens. "Full house! How about that?"

"FUCK!" Randy threw his cards down and stood violently from his chair, a hair's width away from knocking over the entire poker table. "You cheated, didn't you? There's no way you could have gotten so many good hands in a fucking row!"

"Now Ran-dee," John said mockingly. "Don't be sore." Grinning at the increasingly red hue on the Legend Killer's face, John reached over to collect his winnings. But just before his fingertips brushed the brightly colored poker chips, a hand shot out and grabbed John by the wrist. The young detective looked up in shock, and found himself staring at a half grinning Todd.

"Royal flush," Todd mumbled, spreading his cards out for all three men to see.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…I want a rematch," Cena said stubbornly, pouting as he did so.

"I have a better idea," Todd said quietly. "How about we all go for a drink? My treat."

"You mean _our_ treat," Randy grumbled, looking longingly at his lost money.

"Whatever. Hey, Junie…" Todd looked back at his wife, who was starting to fall asleep on the couch. "You wanna come with?"

"Yeah! Come with us," John pleaded, looking at June with hopeful blue eyes. "It'll be like old times, you know? The Five Musketeers, out on another beer binge."

"Huh? Nah…" June yawned, and stretched her body out on the sofa. "I can't beer binge when I'm trying to get pregnant. But you guys go ahead and have fun. I'm just gonna take a nap."

John groaned while Todd quietly nodded. But while the bespectacled man showed disappointment on the outside, inside, he felt relieved. _Good. That means I can ask them without her having to know._

* * *

"Cheers!"

The four men raised their fifth beer bottles to a quick toast, before Randy, Jeff, and John began chugging down the alcohol as fast as their livers would allow. But Todd abstained from drinking more than one sip. He needed his friends to be somewhat drunk, and he needed to stay completely sober when asking them for this favor because there was a very, very, _very _high chance that they would shoot him down before he even finished explaining his proposition.

_It's okay, Todd old boy. You can do this. They're already looking tipsy, so you have to time this right…_

"Hey Todd, you okay, man?" Jeff stared at the bespectacled man in mild curiosity, his eyes half lidded due to all of the alcohol. "You ain't even touched one of your bottles yet."

"I'm good. One of us has to be the designated driver, right?"

"Hell yeah!" Randy finished off his fifth bottle, before wiping his lips with the edge of his sleeve. "Man, I needed that drink! Where them cute girlies at? I need a fucking lay right now, man…I don't even care if the bitch is poor."

John snorted, before resting a chin in his hand. "You know Orton's drunk if he's no longer cares about his fucking social status."

"Cena…if there weren't two of you in front of me right now, I'd fucking kick your ass right in front of the entire bar."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"Hey…" Todd played with the rim of his bottle for a moment. "Can I tell you guys something?"

"You're gay?" John guessed innocently.

"W-what?" Todd looked up in astonishment. "NO! Where the fuck did _that _come from?"

Jeff coughed nervously. "Well, to be honest, when we were little, Matt and I always thought you were gay. John and Randy thought so too."

"WHAT?"

"Give us a break, Todd," Randy slurred, slumping his chin against the table. "You always used to run away from girls before you hooked up with Junie. What the fuck were we supposed to think?"

"I was looking for the right woman!"

"Sure you were," John said slowly, rolling his eyes.

"ANYWAY!" Todd's face was now an angry red. Why were these jerks friends with him, again? They always seemed to mock him and June at every goddamn turn…"This is important, okay? I need you to take me seriously."

Jeff, John, and Randy (who was now finishing off his sixth bottle) turned to Todd, putting on their most serious faces.

"I…I'm sterile. I found out just a few days ago from my doctor."

Silence.

"That means I can't have babies with Junie. I can't…I can't have babies with anybody. Junie doesn't know yet."

Silence.

In the course of five minutes, the faces of Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy, and John Cena sobered up and looked grimmer then Todd had ever seen them look in their entire lifetime together. Then, he laughed shakily out loud, trying to break the tension. "Oh, come on, guys! It's not that bad! I'm still me, right?"

"Shoot, Todd…" The pity on Jeff's face was so suffocating that Todd actually forgot to breathe for a moment. "That's the worst of the worst for a guy in your situation."

"Shit, don't say that, Hardy!" John snapped, slamming his beer on the table. "He gots plenty of options! Go to the sperm bank!"

"Junie won't do that," Todd said miserably.

"Go adopt some brats," Randy suggested, trying to sober up further by drinking a glass of water.

"Junie won't do that either."

"Then fucking lie to her, man!" The Legend Killer glared at his friend with a look of annoyance on his face. "Go to the sperm bank, and get some chump's sperm. Then, go to a doctor, and have June do in-vitro fertilization. Then, when the doctor asks for your sperm, you give her the gunk you got from the sperm bank! June won't ever have to know!"

"But…" Todd looked down in despair. "I don't want to use a stranger's sperm either. What if the guy's a serial killer? I don't wanna have a demon spawn for a kid."

"Then get it from someone you know," John said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Then will one of you do it?" Todd blurted out, grabbing John, Jeff, and Randy's arms desperately as he stared hard into the eyes of his friends. He had planned for the proposition to go much smoother than this, but once John had figured out the skeleton of his plan, well…the shit hit the fan. "Please, will one of you do it? Will one of you donate your sperm so I can have a baby with Junie?"

* * *

_Wow. To think, that wimp's the reason why I exist today. Who'd have thought it?_

_Now, you readers out there might be wondering why I have three daddies, when that wimp guy clearly asked ONE of them for those sperm thingies. But the story gets much more complicated than that, and unfortunately…my mommy's going to have to go through some rough times! But I know my daddies. They'll take care of her…right?_

…

_Why won't anybody answer me? Oh well…onto the next chapter, then! Jamie out, y'all!  
_


	2. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Two: Desperate Times, Desperate Measures**

_It's Jamie! Did y'all miss me?_

_So last time, we left off at the wimp begging my daddies to give him the sperm thingies. It's a little sad and silly, but whatever. I'm guessing they gave it to him, because how else would I be here, talking to all of you?_

_I have to tell you something funny that my mommy told me. She said that before I was born, she had a funny dream. She was up in an apple tree, trying to throw apples at the wimpy guy. The apples represented "The Fruit of her Womb," she said._

_But then, my daddies came, and they all caught the apples just before the wimpy guy could get them! HA! But mommy told me not to laugh, because she was frustrated that the wimpy guy didn't get the apples. She said that in her dream, she kept trying to throw the apples to the wimp, but Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John all got in her way._

_She called them buttheaded jerks after that. I wonder what that means?_

* * *

Randy blinked at Todd for a moment, before he stared hard at the bottle of beer in his hand. "I must be more plastered than I thought. I think I heard wrong. Did I just hear you ask us for our fucking sperm, Grisham?"

"Orton, if you're plastered, then I must be completely wasted." Jeff pushed his own serving of beer to the other side of the table, before he gave Todd a hard stare. "Are you out of your damn mind, man? You gone crazy on us during your lovemaking moments? I ain't gonna give you my little soldiers!"

"Oh, come on!" Todd begged, grabbing the front of Jeff's shirt desperately. "You guys said that I should try getting sperm from another donor, and there's no one I trust more than you guys!"

"Well, that wasn't what we meant!" Jeff retorted, tearing himself out of Todd's grip. "Shoot, we don't want no kid! The last thing we need is to be saddled with the responsibilities of fatherhood and whatnot."

"Plus," Randy added snootily, "the thought of _my_ DNA mingling with that _wife_ of yours to form a living hell spawn is just disgusting. No way in hell am I doing it, Grisham."

"But…but…" Todd looked at Randy, Jeff, and John (who had been strangely silent up until now) in anguish. "Please, won't you reconsider? You're the perfect candidates! Randy, both Junie and I think that you're one of the most intelligent, cunning men out there—"

"Don't forget good looking," the Legend Killer mumbled, smirking arrogantly despite his anger.

"And Jeff, Junie thinks you're one of the greatest artists she's ever known."

Jeff snorted and turned away, although a faint blush could be seen spreading across his cheeks.

"What about me?" John asked quietly, finally breaking his heavy silence. "Did Junie say anything good about me?"

"John? You're…well, you're…" Todd thought for a moment, trying to remember all the good aspects of John Cena. What were they again? "AH! You're one of the healthiest men we know!"

"Thanks…hey, wait a minute!"

"The point is," Todd went on, laughing nervously as he tried to ignore John's annoyed look, "you're all like brothers to me! I can't trust anyone else with this!"

Jeff sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Look, Todd. It ain't that we're saving our sperm for a special occasion or nothing, but it's just that none of us are ready to be a daddy."

"And I sure as hell don't feel right knowing that my kid is being mothered by a woman I don't even like," Randy cut in, crossing his arms over his chest angrily.

"Please!" Falling to his knees, Todd bowed his head low to the floor, much to the astonishment of the other three men. "I'm _begging _you… I'm at the end of my rope here! I promise I won't force any responsibility onto you guys. I won't tell Junie that I used your sperm. I'll raise the baby myself, and I won't ask you guys for anything else, I promise! PLEASE!"

For a moment there was dead silence. The three men exchanged uneasy glances before they stared at the clearly broken down Todd, completely unsure of what to do.

Then, John suddenly stood up from his seat, startling both Randy and Jeff as he jerked Todd to his knees and pulled him into a fierce hug. "Yeah!" John shouted, a drunken grin spreading throughout his reddened face. "We're like brothers! We gotta watch out for each other, and help one another in times of need!"

"So you'll do it?" Todd asked hopefully, his eyes tearing up from behind his glasses.

"Sure, man! I love Junie, and I'd do anything to help you two out!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Cena?" Randy snapped, raising a brow at the scene before him. "You're not seriously agreeing with his bullshit plan, are you?"

"And why not?" John replied casually. "I love kids—I sure as hell wouldn't mind having one."

Jeff groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Fucking _idiot_…"

"So Todd!" John said loudly, ignoring the looks of disgust that he received from Randy and Jeff. "When do I get to shack up with Junie? Am I laying her tomorrow, or should I just start tonight?"

"…"

"…"

"…you're not sleeping with her," Todd said slowly. "I just want you to go to the sperm bank, save a jar full of sperm, and then give it to me so that I can do the in-vitro fertilization."

"Seriously?" John stared at Todd in disappointment, before he shoved Todd away from him. "Then screw this, man. I don't wanna have a kid without going through the joys of conception."

"I'm surprised you even know what 'conception' means," Jeff muttered quietly, only to receive the middle finger from John. "Still…glad you came to your senses, Cena. Glad to know that you ain't a total idiot."

"Laugh it up, Hardy. Just laugh it up."

"Wait a minute…" Todd stared at Randy, Jeff, and John in despair. "So you're not going to do this?"

The rainbow-haired artist shook his head and clapped a hand sympathetically on Todd's shoulder. "Sorry, man. We just can't do that."

"But—"

"Come on, guys," Randy muttered, checking his watch as he stood up from his seat. "Let's go. I have work tomorrow."

"Guys—"

"Sorry, man." Cena shook his head sadly at Todd, before he and the others headed for the exit of the bar.

The bespectacled man stared at his three so-called friends in desperation. No. It couldn't end this way. If he couldn't get his own friends to do this for him, then how was he ever going to get the nerve to accept sperm from a total, unknown stranger? He shook his mind clear of the depressing thoughts—this was neither the time nor the place to think negatively.

He had to convince them, and he had to convince them now!

"I'll pay you each two thousand dollars to be my sperm donors!"

And with that, Randy, Jeff, and John stopped dead in their tracks.

* * *

_Well, I for one am shocked._

_That wimp had to pay my daddies to—to be my daddies? That's just low! Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, Daddy John…I thought you guys loved me and my mommy! How come you didn't want to have me? You had to be bribed into making me? I feel so unwanted._

_And Daddy Randy, what's this about you not liking my mommy? How could you even say all those nasty things about her?_

_I hate you! I hate you all!_

…

_No I don't. I love you. I love you!_

_But Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John…if you hated me so much, then why did you have me? What happened between you three and my mommy that led to me being born?_

The next morning, the first thing John did was rush to the bathroom, bending over the toilet seat as he heaved the last bits of alcohol from his system. Jeff, who had already done his fair share of puking, trudged past the detective as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Jesus," the rainbow-haired artist groaned, opening the fridge as he pulled out a bottle of cold water. "What the fuck did we do last night? I don't remember shit, man." He was about to take a sip when Randy suddenly appeared and snatched the bottle from him, taking a long drink despite Jeff's protests.

"We drank ourselves stupid thanks to Todd and Junie," the Legend Killer grunted, wiping his lips after he had finished. "I don't remember _why_ we drank ourselves stupid, but I know it had something to do with them." He winced when he heard John throw up again, this time more violently than before.

He could never understand it—he always drank much more than John during their beer binges, and always ended up several times drunker than his friend. Yet when morning came, it was always John who ended up puking his guts out while Randy suffered only from a semi-serious hangover.

John finally came out of the bathroom, wiping his lips on his sleeve as he slowly forced his legs to move towards Jeff and Randy. Without saying a word, he slumped onto the kitchen counter and buried his face in his hands. "Fuuuuuuck," he moaned. "My head hurts. Orton, get me some aspirin."

Randy snorted, and threw the bottle of water at John's head, which the detective barely managed to avoid. "Get it yourself, pussy. I had nine fucking bottles of Jack Daniels, and I'm okay. You just had five drinks, and now you're acting like a woman going through morning sickness."

"Fuck you Orton, how about that?"

"Huh." Jeff rubbed his unshaven chin, wondering why Randy's words suddenly had a ring to it. "Morning sickness…why does that make me think of Todd, all of a sudden?" The rainbow-haired artist thought for only a second more, before his eyes widened in terror. "Shit…"

"What?" John groaned, his head still in his hands.

"You guys…do you remember us agreeing to something completely insane for Todd last night? Like, us agreeing to let him raise our kid, or some shit like that?"

Randy and John exchanged glances, before a look of realization suddenly dawned on their faces. John stared at Jeff in horror. "Fuck…the sperm donation!"

* * *

Moving several news reports aside, Todd sat in his office while whistling a cheerful tune, more than pleased with how last night's events went.

He had gotten it. He had gotten all three of their sperm samples. Apparently his friends had been more intoxicated than he had realized, because after the initial reluctance shown by all three of them, they had become much easier to manipulate. He should have videotaped the event—he doubted if he would ever get such control over them again in this lifetime.

_Ah well…a win's a win, right? Now, all I have to do is call Junie and tell her about our appointment with the doctor for the in-vitro…_

Suddenly, his phone rang, and smiling happily to himself, Todd graciously reached over to pick it up. "Hello! You've reached BBS News. I'm anchorman Todd Grisham, how may I—"

"TODD, YOU JACKASS!" Randy's voice shrieked from the other end, causing the bespectacled man to yelp and move the phone several inches away from his ear. "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, GETTING US TO DO ALL THAT CRAZY SHIT YESTERDAY? I DON'T WANT NO FUCKING KID!"

Ah. So they finally remembered.

Steeling his nerves, Todd forced himself to remain calm and collected as he moved the phone closer to his ear. "I did what I had to do, Randy. Besides, you were all willing participants. Nobody held a gun to your head."

"Come on, Todd!" Now Jeff was the one speaking. "That ain't fair, man! We were drunk as hell last night! We weren't exactly in our right minds!"

"Well, that's too bad," Todd said nonchalantly. "You three signed a written promise that you would go through with this no matter what."

"We did?" John was the speaker this time.

"Yes, you did. Or need I remind you?"

* * *

**Last night…**

In the lobby of the sperm bank, Todd slid the three papers in front of his drunken friends, sitting back and crossing his arms as Randy, Jeff, and John fumbled to hold their pens correctly. "Now," Todd said seriously, "write this quickly, okay guys? The sperm bank closes in a few hours, and my doctor friend won't wait that long for us. Now…I solemnly swear…"

"I...sol-oh-mon-ee-ous-lee swee-ar," John mumbled, scribbling messily on his paper as he did so.

"That I will uphold this life-or-death commitment to my beloved friend, Todd Grisham…"

"Tha' I'll uphold tha' dead committing to Toddie," Randy slurred, attempting to write on his paper without puking. He had chugged down several more bottles of beer after agreeing to do this (in his mind) heinous act of friendship for his bespectacled friend, and at this point he was no longer in a state where he could form coherent sentences.

"Should I ever decide to break this unbreakable promise…"

"Should I…decide to break…promise," Jeff muttered, his eyelids drooping heavily as he forced himself not to pass out. He looked up, and frowned. "Then what, Toddie?"

Todd grimaced. Time to unleash his secret weapon. "Should I ever decide to break this unbreakable promise, then I give Todd Grisham the right to put on Youtube the video of us four dancing naked to Justin Timberlake's song, _SexyBack_. I will admit that I'm less than a man, and that even bitches are higher up on the social ladder than I am."

He held his breath, wondering if his friends would actually write the final part. Had they been sober, there was a high chance that they would have pulverized him for making such a threat, but as they were all wasted…

…and at any rate, even if they did threaten to beat him up later on, he'd unleash the Justin Timberlake video on the internet anyway. He wasn't afraid of getting laughed at, but he knew what reputations the others had to maintain.

He grinned when he saw Randy, Jeff, and John actually writing the words down, signing their names at the bottom of the papers when they had finished.

"…than…I…am." John finished scribbling, and smiled crookedly at Todd as he handed his friend the paper. "There we go, Toddie. Now what'dya want us to do?"

Todd reached into a bag that the nurses had brought him, and pulled out three herbal juice packets. "Here. Swallow this down, guys."

"Eh?" Randy took his packet and stared at it cautiously. "Wha' the hell is this?"

"It's an herbal drink that will give you stamina. I need as much sperm from you guys as possible, so drink it all, okay?"

"…mmm!" John was already finished with his drink. "It's good, man! You got any more?"

Jeff, who had taken one sip and had promptly spat out the liquid afterwards, shoved his packet roughly into John's hands. "Fuck, it's bitter! You can…go ahead and finish this shit, Cena. I…I can't drink this shit…urp." The rainbow-haired artist tried not to throw up—the drink had been _that _bitter.

Randy, after sampling the juice, said nothing at all. The Legend Killer had paled, spun on his heels, and immediately dashed towards the nearest restroom within running distance.

Watching all this, Todd clicked his tongue in judgment before turning to John with a small smile. "Well, since you seem to be the most ready, wanna go first?" He held up an empty sperm jar in front of John's face, and the young detective eagerly took it with a lopsided grin.

"Suuuuure, Toddie!" John slurred, leaning heavily against the smaller man as he giggled drunkenly. Taking the jar, John stared at it in wonder. "So…what'em I gunna do with this thing, man? Do I jack my wang 'till I cum, and aim in here?"

"…"

"…"

"Pretty much."

"Coolio, Toddie. Coolio."

* * *

"Man, you can't hold that against us!" Randy yelled, almost crushing the phone in his hand in anger. "We were fucking plastered last night! You took advantage of us, you son-of-a-bitch!"

"You three seemed pretty willing to me," Todd replied coolly, though inside he was trembling like a leaf. _Strong…I have to be strong for Junie…_

"Yo man," Jeff said, attempting to at least sound calm. "You didn't do that in-vitro stuff yet, did ya?"

"No…I scheduled the appointment for me and Junie next week."

"GOOD!" John snatched the phone from Jeff and held it tightly next to his ear. "Listen man, don't do it. We don't want you to!"

"But I'm paying you each two thousand dollars out of my own pocket! And besides, you guys promised—"

"Forget the promise and forget your money, man!" Randy yelled, making both Jeff and John wince at the volume of his voice. "Listen man, I do NOT want you to use my sperm, you got it? I will fucking kill you and rip that baby out of Junie's womb before I let that thing live a day on this earth!"

"Me too!" John agreed. "Only without the killing you and ripping the baby out part." John turned to Randy, giving him a look of sheer disgust. "Orton, I can't believe you sometimes…that was just sick…"

"Y-you guys can't just back out now!" Todd cried, his eyes widening in horror. "Junie was so happy when I told her about the appointment! I'll—I'll post the video on Youtube!" It was a cheap threat, but he was feeling his chances at getting June pregnant slowly slip away. His heart sank when he heard Randy laugh coldly from the other end.

"You think we give a fuck about that video?" Randy sneered, the tone of his voice making Todd's blood run cold. "Did you forget who I am, Grisham? I'm the fucking Legend Killer. I have connections that not even my father knows about. I can get a hacker to break through the security on your computer and delete all those shitty videos you got on us."

"But…but…" Todd fingers gripped his phone so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "You can't…"

"Listen, Todd," Jeff said quietly. "I'm sorry, man…but you gotta use someone else's sperm. We just ain't gonna do this. Keep your money…we don't want it."

Silence. Randy, Jeff, and John held their breaths as they waited for an answer from Todd.

Finally, they heard a defeated sigh from the bespectacled man. "Fine. I won't use your sperm."

"Really?" The three men all broke into wide, relieved grins. "Alright, Todd!" John laughed, holding a hand to his heart. "We knew we could count on you!"

"You're the man, Grisham," Randy agreed, grinning. "We'll buy you drinks next time, okay? And I promise not to pound you too hard into the ground for tricking us."

"Yeah, yeah…" Todd stared at the phone sadly before he hung up, not even bothering to say goodbye.

* * *

Well, his friends were happy. They got to continue their lives of being stupid, carefree bachelors. But what about him? What about June? How where they supposed to be happy? How were they supposed to have a baby now?

He stared at the three, unmarked jars of sperm in front of him. Within the jars held the sperm of Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy, and John Cena. As requested, his doctor did not label the jars because Todd wanted the paternity of the baby to be kept as anonymous as possible. Plus, he didn't think he could bear being around his friends again if he actually knew who the real father was.

Better to not know, so that he wouldn't feel too guilty around the real father. Plus, it would make lying to June so much easier—she still had no idea about the sperm, and she still had no idea about his sterility.

_It's for the best, Junie. I'm doing all this for us…_

June had already given the doctor her eggs, and they were now waiting on him for the sperm to start the in-vitro fertilization. But even after his friends had denied him permission, Todd just didn't have the heart or the stomach to use another person's, another _stranger's _sperm. Something was telling him that he had to—_had to_—use his friends' sperm, and come hell or high water, he had to brave through any storms of guilt and discomfort that arrived in the future.

But which one to use? Which of his three friends could he possible allow as the father of his baby?

He hesitated, holding all three jars in his hands. He was completely unsure of what to do, and he didn't like where any of this was going.

And then, he spotted a fourth empty sperm jar. This jar was somewhat bigger than the other three, and looked as if it could hold three samples of sperm, not just one.

* * *

_The blue sperm swam quickly towards the egg, determined to be the first to reach his destination. "That's right," the blue sperm muttered to himself. "I'm the Legend Killer, and I'm gonna make a new legacy to carry on the family name!"_

"_Hold your horses there!" This time, a green sperm swam by the blue one, bumping rudely into the blue sperm's side. "I ain't never seen you before," the green sperm grunted in a southern accent. "However, that sure as hell don't matter now. Where do you think you're going? That there's my egg! Who do you think you are, busting in on my woman like this?"_

"_The Champ…is HERE!" A red sperm swam past both the green and blue sperms, laughing manically as he rushed full speed towards the egg. "Your time is up, fools, and it's my time to get me some of that plump looking egg!"_

"_Who the fuck are you?" the blue sperm shrieked. "I was fucking here first! Out of my way, you fucking poser!"_

"_Oh, you want some, you blue freak? COME AND GET SOME!"_

* * *

**Three weeks later…**

The doctor looked up at the nervous June and anxious Todd, smiling kindly as he put down the clipboard.

"Well?" June said worriedly, holding onto Todd's hand tightly. "What does the test say, doctor?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Grisham…"

"YES?"

"Congratulations, Mrs. Grisham. You're pregnant."

* * *

_Yup. That's how I was conceived. _

_That was soooooo stupid!_

_My daddies didn't even know I existed during that time, and my mommy thought I came from the wimp! How messed up is THAT? And to top it off, I honestly don't know even now who my bio-log-ick-cal daddy is. My mommy doesn't know, so how would __**I **__know? The story only gets worse from here on out, but I'm hoping that the wimp will just go away._

_Aw, man. I tell you, being Jamie Grisham sucks._

* * *

**Hey there, readers! I hope you're enjoying the story. **

**Now, I currently have the entire story outlined, but I have not assigned a gender for Jamie. His/her role in the story does not relate to gender in any way, so I thought I'd let you, the readers, have a little fun and decide on Jamie's gender. What do you want little Jamie to be? A little prince, or a bouncy baby princess?**

**Vote at the poll in my profile, if you have the time! **


	3. Individual Desires

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: The polls are still open for the deciding of Jamie's gender.

**Three: Individual Desires**

_To all the readers out there, I think I want to protest to the writer._

_Looking back at how I was made, I can't help but think that my mommy and daddies were gypped. I mean, who does that wimp think he is? Was he seriously going to raise me as his kid? He should have thought ahead. What if I have Daddy Randy or Daddy John's blue eyes when I'm born? Mommy would know that something was seriously wrong! The wimp would have been in sooooo much trouble!_

_But it doesn't matter now. What matters is that I'm currently in mommy's stomach, and am growing cuter and cuter by the minute._

_I just wish my daddies knew what was going on._

* * *

"Take your time and walk slow, Junie. Don't overexert yourself."

"Okay, Toddikins."

Giggling and barely able to contain their smiles, both June and Todd slowly walked up the stairs towards their apartment, Todd maintaining a steady hold on his wife as June kept a hand on her ever growing, six-month-old pregnant stomach.

June was simply ecstatic. Ever since she found out that she and Todd had successfully conceived, she had been in a perpetual state of bliss. Her days were now completely dedicated towards her husband and her unborn child—she had quit her job as a medical assistant and now spent many hours reading books on pregnancy and childbirth, learning the proper and improper methods of how to prepare herself for the impending birth.

There was so much to do and so little time. The couple had to buy clothes for the baby, a crib for the baby, toys and baby formulas, bottles and diapers…while the clothes, toys, and food alone burned a large hole into their savings, Todd restrained from buying a crib, telling June that he would make it himself during his spare time.

"It's going to be perfect," he explained. "I'm going to make our baby's bed with my own two hands, and it's going to be made with every bit of love and compassion that I have for her."

June raised a brow. "Her?"

"Yeah!" Todd grinned sheepishly. "I would love a little girl, Junie. I want a little princess who looks just like her beautiful mommy, and has her radiant smile…"

"Flatterer."

"Not at all."

"Well, I'd like a little prince," June replied, playfully wrapping her arms around her husband's waist. "I want a son…preferably a handsome little devil that looks just like his father."

"H-handsome?" Todd blushed, and lowered his gaze. "Junie, I'm not handsome. My friends are definitely handsome, but I'm just…awkward looking." With each word, the bespectacled man looked more and more downtrodden. "I…I don't want our son to look like me. He should be more like you, and NOTHING like me at all." _Mostly because he WON'T look or act anything like me. _"It's better off that way."

"What in god's name are you yapping about?" June huffed, as she pressed her forehead hard against Todd's. "Honey, don't you say that! You're the cutest thing I've ever seen, and you are without a doubt the sweetest man I have ever met."

Todd looked up bashfully. "Really?"

"Yes indeed. Now, I'll admit that the other guys _are _good looking—" here, Todd groaned "—BUT! Todd, you are the only man I know who cares about me more than he cares about himself. That's why I love you, darling. That's why I chose you." June pressed an innocent kiss against her husband's lips, grinning when she saw his face turn a bright pink. "And honey…that's why I want a son that looks and acts just like you."

"…"

"…"

"…no offense, Junie, but I still want a girl."

"Oh, Todd!"

Despite their little banters and disagreement on the baby's gender, June only found herself falling more and more in love with her little family. Throughout her life, she never understood how a woman could love her husband with so much passion and recklessness, but she now possessed these feelings towards Todd. In fact, as soon as they had received news of her pregnancy, over the next several months she had made endless love to him, showing him both physically and mentally just how much she appreciated and adored his devotion to her.

At first, Todd had protested over the constant sex, worrying first and foremost about the baby. "We might hurt her," he whined, trying his best to fight off his desires as June peppered his face with kisses. "It's too soon…can't we just watch a good movie and relax?" However, as soon as she slipped her hand underneath his boxers, he would automatically forget why he was protesting in the first place, and would eagerly proceed with the lovemaking.

Yes…Todd was truly her perfect man. She would never be able to live without him.

As they stepped past the threshold, Todd led June towards the sofa and gently sat her down, positioning her so that her legs were stretched out across the entire furniture. Kneeling by her side, he tenderly began to massage her legs, starting from her feet and moving upwards to her calves.

"There's no pain in the muscles yet, right?" he asked worriedly, feeling a small amount of cramping in June's calves.

She shook her head. Ever since she was little, June had had a problem with her leg muscles, and conditions hadn't improved as she grew older. "I'm okay. But could you move your hand a little closer to my knee? It's been hurting for a while now."

"Of course!"

But still, bad legs or no, it hadn't stopped her from attempting to run alongside Randy, Jeff, and John during their morning jogs. A girl had to stay in shape, right? She was thankful that John and Jeff often slowed down to her pace just so that she wouldn't feel bad about falling behind, but Randy would always complain that she was ruining their workouts.

…

Why was her most wonderful husband befriended to that _jerk_ Randy? The so-called Legend Killer never seemed to like her, and she had no idea why. She had never done anything terrible to him…nothing that she could recall, anyway. His seemingly random moods swings didn't help the situation at all—every time he showed an ounce of decency towards her and gave her the impression that he was finally warming up to her, he would say a cutting comment that ripped right through her hopes and enthusiasm. She just couldn't figure Randy out at times.

Could it be that they had been enemies in a previous life?

"Did Randy bother you again?"

June snapped out of her thoughts, and blinked at Todd's worried face. "Huh? N-no! It's nothing, sweetheart."

"Are you sure? You have your 'I-Hate-Randy' face on right now."

She had an I-Hate-Randy face? She never knew that such a terrible thing existed…frowning, June pursed her lips in annoyance. "I possess no such thing! And I don't hate Randy!"

"Yes you do," Todd countered gently. "Every time Randy says something stupid, or every time you _think_ about him saying something stupid, your eyes narrow, your teeth clench, your chin sticks out a little bit…and your lips purse." June immediately unpursed her lips, which only served to earn her a knowing grin from Todd. "See? I told you."

"Oh, poop." June pouted, and pulled her aching legs up to her chest. "Toddikins, I don't hate Randy. I just find him to be a bit…difficult."

"We all find him difficult, Junie."

"I actually think that _he _hates _me_."

"He hates everybody," Todd said quickly, although he avoided eye contact with June as he said this. "Even Jeff and John can't stand him at times, so don't take his statements personally."

"I guess so." June frowned, before she sighed aloud. "Jeff and John are so nice and decent. Why are they friends with Randy? I keep trying to find an answer for that, but I always come up short. I worry for the future of our baby if all three of them are going to be the godfathers of our little boy."

"Or girl," Todd added, softly massaging June's cramped left foot.

"You say girl, I say boy. You say tomato, I say toe-mah-toe…"

"Very funny." His fingers kneaded a particularly hard spot on June's heel. "Um…Junie?"

"Hmm?"

"I…I want you to relax during the next three months, okay? I don't want you to worry, or fret, or have leg cramps while I'm at work. It's not good for you and the baby, and if anything happened to either of you, well…" Todd looked away. "I don't know what I'd do…OW!" He yelped as June smacked him upside the head, and he looked up at his wife in astonishment. "Junie! What was that for?"

"For saying stupid things to an already distraught and pregnant woman!" June snapped, crossing her arms in front of her chest angrily. "Really sweetheart, do you really have to be so negative all the time? We're both young, healthy people. Nothing is going to happen to either one of us! So no more talking about bad possibilities. Let's just focus on the future and on our baby!"

She grabbed his hand and gave it a hard squeeze, looking at him so determinedly that Todd couldn't help but smile back. His grip tightening in hers, the bespectacled man swallowed hard, and forced all of his fears out of his mind. "You're right, Junie. You're right! We should just take it one day at a time. But for now…let's listen to some music!"

"Yay! Put Mozart, Todd! I heard that'll make the baby intelligent!"

* * *

Randy smirked as he watched Mick Foley sign over the ownership of Socko Industries over to R.K.O. Corporation. "Thank you, Mr. Foley. Working with you has definitely been a rather…_interesting_ experience."

"Piss off, jackass," Foley snapped angrily, flinging the paperwork over to Randy in such a way that their hands wouldn't touch. "You ruined my whole company, you little fucker! I have nothing left!"

The Legend Killer shrugged carelessly. "Well, you should have sold to us when you had the chance. You would have at least had some chump change instead of leaving with jack squat."

"You know what? FUCK YOU, ORTON! I swear, you and that family of yours are gonna wish that you never crossed paths with me!" With that, Mick Foley stood up and angrily stomped away, accidentally slamming his shoulder against the door in his fury as he stormed of the conference room. Randy said nothing—he merely chuckled as he straightened out the paperwork and placed the proxies neatly into his briefcase.

Another day, another company destroyed by the Legend Killer.

_Damn, I'm just __**that**__ good._

Whistling to himself as he made his way down to the lobby, he stopped dead when he suddenly saw his business rival, Adam "Edge" Copeland, standing at the information desk. Next to the blond Canadian was Vickie Guerrero, widow of Eddie Guerrero and one of his father's most trusted associates.

…what the hell was Edge doing with Vickie? More to the point, what the hell was Edge doing in one of R.K.O. Corporation's buildings, _period_? Suspicion, distrust, and apprehension all flooded Randy's mind at once. The last time he had crossed paths with Copeland, things hadn't exactly ended on well terms, and he was in no mood to relive the experience.

Forcing a charming leer on his face, the Legend Killer walked towards Edge and Vickie, smoothly sliding his lean body in between the two as he wrapped an arm around Vickie's shoulders and twirled her away from the Canadian. "Vickie!" he greeted cheerfully, planting a kiss on the older woman's cheek. He forced himself not to wince a second later—the woman had so much makeup on that he nearly puked in disgust. "How are you, pretty lady? You look great, as always!"

Vickie laughed, a gesture that made her face look as wrinkled as a decayed Jack-o-lantern. "Still a flirt, I see! How's your father doing, Randy?"

Randy paused, deliberating his answer as Edge watched the two with hawk-like eyes. "He's…been better."

"I see."

"You know," Edge said in a faux cheerful tone, leaning casually against the information desk as he spoke, "I haven't seen Bob Orton around for quite a while. Everyone in the world of stock and trade are talking about him. I wonder where he's been all this time…?" The blond gave Randy a searching stare, as if he could pull the answers out from the younger man just by looking at him.

Inwardly, Randy snorted. This was the oldest trick in the book—his father and grandfather had trained him since day one not to crack under scrutiny, and while Edge was certainly one who could bend and twist a situation to his advantage, Randy was someone who always prided himself on being one step ahead of his opponents, no matter what their strengths were.

He wasn't called the Legend Killer for nothing, after all.

"Dad's just taking a little hiatus, is all," Randy said smoothly, giving Edge his most charming smile. "The old man's getting up there in the years—he's earned a little vacation time. Besides, what're you so worried about, Copeland? I'm taking good care of the company in his stead, aren't I?"

"Oh yeah! Vickie here just told me about what you did to Foley." Edge took one of Vickie's hands and kissed it, making the older woman giggle and blush while making Randy twitch in horror and disgust. "I must say…this lovely lady's so well informed and knowledgeable! I didn't even know that you were accumulating stocks under Foley's nose, Orton, but Vickie here told me all about it."

_Damn it, Vickie… _

"Well," Randy replied dryly, attempting to keep the bitterness in his voice to a minimum, "I wouldn't have been able to accumulate them in secret if everybody knew what I was doing. Then it wouldn't be a _secret_, would it Copeland?"

Edge said nothing. Instead, he merely laughed, a dry, hollow sound that had no kindness or congeniality behind it.

_Stupid motherfucker…what the hell does he fucking want?_

Spinning on his heel, Randy turned towards the exit of the building and began to walk away from his rival. "As nice as it is to chat with you, I gotta go, Adam. If you don't have anything important to tell me, then I'll see you around—"

"Sam's in town," Edge said suddenly.

Randy stopped. _Aha. _Turning around slowly, he gave the blond Canadian an intrigued look. "Are you sure, man?"

"Positive, Orton. I heard you've been asking people when Samantha Speno was in town. Well, as your friend—" here, Randy couldn't help but snort "—I'm telling that you she's in town now." Edge checked his watch, and clicked his tongue. "From what my men told me, right now she should be laughing it up with Hunter and Stephanie at the country club, yakking about how her rich mommy got her a new ice-cream company."

"How long is she staying?"

"Well, from the amount of servants and luggage my men reported…she should be staying for about two years. Plenty of time for you to make your move on her."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Copeland," Randy said innocently. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a party to attend. Grisham's bitch apparently got pregnant, and he wants us all to go out and celebrate the joys of him breeding a new hell spawn."

Edge merely rolled his eyes in response. "Whatever, man. Whatever. Just don't forget what I said about Sam."

"Of course." Randy smirked, licking his lips as he pictured rich little Samantha Speno sitting near the country club pool in nothing but a white little G-string.

Samantha Speno was the daughter of a wealthy businesswoman, who did much of her work overseas. Not only that, Sam also was the best friend of Stephanie McMahon, the wife of Paul "Hunter" Levesque and the daughter of Vincent Kennedy McMahon. By getting Sam to fall in love with him, he would be getting close to Stephanie, and by proxy, he would be getting close to Hunter and Vince.

It wasn't anything personal; it was business. If he had Sam by his side, he would be able to take both Hunter and Vince's companies down in one fell swoop.

_Again…I'm just __**that**__ damn good._

* * *

Jeff sighed, holding his cellphone in one hand while attempting to sketch with the other. "Trish, for the hundredth time, the comic ain't ready yet. I'm telling you that I need a couple more days." He paused for a moment. "Why? What the hell do you mean,_ why_? I've been in a fucking slump! I can't just magically pull drawings out from under my ass! Look Trish…damn it, don't yell! Look, just give me another week, okay? I'll have it ready by then! Geez!"

Tossing his phone over his shoulder, Jeff scowled as he angrily shoved his current drawing aside and pulled out a new sheet of paper. Within minutes, he managed to sketch a crude caricature of a blonde, demonic looking woman with sagging breasts, wrinkled skin, and two devil horns sprouting from her forehead. On the top, he scribbled down: _Stratusfaction NOT Guaranteed._

There. Now he felt better.

Sort of.

With the recent failure of his last comic, Jeff had found it difficult to meet deadlines without panicking. Having his boss (who unfortunately happened to be _Trish Stratus_, of all people) breathe down his back every two hours didn't exactly help matters, and it certainly didn't contribute to the situation when he learned from his brother that Trish still hadn't gotten over their breakup.

He could still hear Matt's grating voice inside his head. _You see, man? This is why you're not supposed to date co-workers, especially if they happen to be your boss! If things get fucked up, then you're gonna get fucked too!_

"Shut up, Matt," Jeff said loudly to the empty room. "This don't concern you, alright? I got enough shit to deal with."

_That's not my problem, is it Jeff? Besides, you should stop talking out loud. I'm only a figment of your imagination, after all. People might think that you're crazy.  
_

…damn it, he really needed a drink.

His phone suddenly rang form behind him. It was most likely Trish again. Jeff groaned and buried his face in his hands, debating on whether or not to just let it ring, or pick up and possibly face another verbal onslaught from Trish. Neither options were appealing, seeing as either way, the woman still decided his fate and paycheck in the end.

Sighing, he reached down and picked his phone off the floor. "Trish, I didn't mean to snap, I really didn't—"

"Huh? Who's Trish?"

Jeff blinked—the voice on the other end was definitely a woman's, but it was lower, softer, and was definitely better on the ears. "Junie! I'm sorry girl...I thought you were my boss."

"It's okay." June laughed, which made the corners of Jeff's lips curl upwards. "I just called to say hi, that's all. That, and to apologize for not visiting last week. I would have had dinner with you guys, I really would have, but walking's recently been murder on my legs."

"Shoot, don't strain yourself," Jeff scolded lightly. "That ain't gonna help them weak ass leg muscles of yours! You gotta take it slow for the baby."

"Oh, you sound like Todd! And who are you calling weak-ass? John and I can still kick your behind at Super Smash Brothers any day of the week, buddy!"

Jeff rolled his eyes, though his smile only deepened as he spoke. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Junie…you just go ahead and keep thinking that the sun revolves around you. I ain't gonna be there to save you when the truth comes out."

"Yes you will," June sang sweetly.

"No I ain't."

"You will, because you and John are my best friends. Randy's a maybe, but I don't want to discuss him now…"

"Nobody really wants to discuss Randy," Jeff mused, tapping a finger thoughtfully against his chin. "So Junie…are you sure that you feel good enough to come out and celebrate with us tonight? 'Cause if you still don't feel good, we can put it off again."

He heard June tsk loudly from the other end. "Jeff! We've been putting it off for almost a month! I want to go out for once and hang out with you guys! Besides, the baby's getting restless."

"Really?" Jeff grinned. "And how exactly would you know that, darlin'? You got a little psychic connection with the runt?"

"Yes I do. It's called maternal instincts."

"Lame, Junie. Lame."

"Feh! So…I'll see you and John at eight tonight?"

"Eight it is, sweetheart." With that, Jeff shut off his phone, still smiling as he pulled out another sheet of paper and began to sketch a realistic drawing of a young, dark-haired, pregnant woman sitting on a park swing.

* * *

"You see," John said smugly as he pulled the two handcuffed criminals into the police station, "normally, I would have kicked the crap out of you knuckleheads for making me run halfway across the city just to get you, but I didn't. You know why?"

"Because that would have constituted as police assault?" one of the criminal replied pathetically.

"No, you nimrods! It's because…" John paused dramatically, before he unceremoniously shoved the two into the nearest cell and bolted the door shut. "It's because one of my best friends is gonna have a baby, and we're celebrating with her tonight!"

"Really? Congratulations!" the second criminal reached through the bars to shake John's hand, only to be slapped upside the head by his partner. "Ow! What the hell did you do that for, man? The man's about to be a father like me, so I gotta congratulate him…OW!" The second criminal yelped again when John reached over this time and slapped him upside the head. "Officer, what did I do?"

"You said something stupid, dumbass!" John snapped. "The kid ain't mine, even though I kinda wish it was. It's my friend's, and she just happens to be married to another one of my friends!"

"Oh." The second criminal blinked, before he pouted. "Well, I how was I supposed to know _that_?"

"…"

"…"

"Just shut up and sit in your cell, damn it!" John snapped, before he turned on his heel and angrily made his way back to his desk. Nearby, detectives Bob Holly and Cody Rhodes stared him curiously.

"Hey Cena," Holly said loudly, as he took a sip out of his coffee, "what's with you lately? You've been going through these goddamn mood swings left and right for the past few weeks."

"Yeah, man." Cody shook his head. "One minute you're all happy about that friend of yours getting knocked up, and then whenever somebody asks if you're the daddy, you get all sour. You're creeping us out, man."

"Mind your own business, assholes," John grumbled, grabbing an egg roll from the many, many cartons of Chinese food on his desk. "The situation's complicated."

Holly snorted, before he turned to Cody and nudged him in the ribs. "He's an idiot. He should have married June when he had the chance."

"I know…maybe then he wouldn't be so goddamn confused all the time."

"I HEARD THAT!"

* * *

_Isn't it funny, how my daddies all have different reactions to me being in my mommy's tummy?_

_Daddy John was acting all weird, though. I mean, why was he so happy one minute, and then so mad the next whenever he had to tell someone that he wasn't my daddy? (Which is totally not true, by the way. he's just as much my daddy as Daddy Randy and Daddy Jeff is!) Pfft, it's all the wimp's fault. If he had told my daddies the truth, everything would have been so much smoother!_

_Daddy John, you and Daddy Jeff and Daddy Randy are all my daddies! There is no other explanation!_

_Still…it's nice to know that the wimp actually took good care of my mommy before my daddies stepped in. I don't know how mommy would have managed to keep herself okay without him—he would cook her breakfast, clean the house when my mommy's legs get all red and swollen, and would even sing lullabies to me when I was still inside mommy's tummy!  
_

_He has a terrible singing voice, though. I like Daddy Randy's better._

* * *

"Bottoms up!"

The men threw back their drinks in one gulp, while June sipped quietly at her apple juice. Being pregnant equaled no alcohol equaled a very boring night out for her. Still, she giggled when John slipped an arm around her waist and proceeded to poke at her very round, very large stomach. "Stop that!" she squealed. "That tickles…"

"You know, you round out really well, Junie," John commented, still poking despite June's lighthearted protests for him to stop. "When I was a kid, I used to see women who looked like the swamp thing during their pregnancies. But you…you're still as pretty as ever."

"I second that," Jeff agreed, raising his glass to June in a toast. Looking behind him, Jeff flagged down a passing waiter. "Hey, garcon! Another bottle of champagne please, and another helping of sweets for the sweet lady here!"

"Flatterers!" June cried, covering her blushing face in her hands. "I'm surrounded by flatterers! You two are worse than Todd, I swear!" But a pleased smile could still be seen on June's lips, even though she tried to hide it by biting into her chocolate cake.

"So Grisham," Randy said, turning his attention to Todd, "you're seriously gonna name your kid Jamie? What kind of name is that, man?"

"What's wrong with Jamie?" Todd asked, blinking in confusion. "It's a good name."

"No it's not. It's stupid."

"But it fits for both a boy _and _a girl," June argued softly, giving Randy a hurt look. "Besides, I really like it the name. It's nice…"

"Hold up." Jeff raised a curious brow, and cocked his head at June. "You mean you don't know what gender your baby is yet? Ain't it old enough now so that you know if it's a he or a she?"

"We want it to be kept a surprise until delivery," June explained, reaching over to hold Todd's hand. "It's more suspenseful that way…and besides, guessing the baby's gender is half the fun!"

Randy snorted, and took a swing from his beer bottle. "Sounds stupid, if you ask me. Just find out what the baby is already, and get it the proper clothes. Those neutral outfits they have in the stores are fucking murder on the eyes, man."

"I think they look cute," June said quietly.

"Yeah?" Randy sneered. "Well, that just shows what you know then—_nothing_."

A harsh, heavy silence suddenly descended in the room. Neither Todd, John, or Jeff knew what to do as Randy stared down an obviously hurt and shaken June, who looked as if she was about to cry at any given second.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, June forced a horrible smile to her face and stood up from her seat. "I think I have to go to the ladies' room," she whispered, her voice cracking despite the fact that she was still smiling. "Would you all excuse me?"

"S-sure…" Jeff and John exchanged tense, uneasy glances while Todd tried to grab her arm, whispering that she should stay.

"It'll only take a minute," June mumbled, her eyes now watering. "I'll be back after I freshen up…" With that, she stood up and walked quickly to the restroom, keeping her head down as she limped with every other step. Todd watched her go with despair in his eyes.

"She's got a cramp," he moaned, feeling torn between going after his wife and staying to confront Randy. However, he quickly chose the latter and glared at the Legend Killer. "Why did you say that to her? You know she's sensitive!"

"So what else is new?" Randy replied coldly. "Sensitive, soft, weak in the goddamn skull—you've been giving her the same excuses since we were fucking five! Get over it, man!"

"Yo, what the hell is your problem?" John snapped, giving Randy a hard shove. "This is Junie and Todd's special night, and you're ruining it by acting like an ass!"

"Fuck off, Cena! And don't you ever put your fucking hands on me again, you hear me?"

"Or what, huh?" John shoved him again, and Randy's eyes began to narrow dangerously. "What'cha gonna do, Orton? HUH? I'm waiting!"

"That's enough, both of you!" Todd and Jeff stepped in between the two men and forced them apart, Jeff holding John back while Todd tried to keep Randy on the sidelines. "Jesus," Jeff swore. "You guys are unbelievable. Junie's probably listening to all of this shit in the bathroom, crying her eyes out."

"That's all she's good for, isn't she?" Randy retorted condescendingly. "All she does is cry. She's nothing but a stupid crybaby!" John growled and tried to lunge for the Legend Killer, only to be held back by Jeff. Meanwhile, Todd stood in front of Randy with his arms crossed, an uncharacteristically cold look overtaking his normally timid facial features.

"Randy," Todd said in a low voice, "you're my friend, so I've been patient until now…but seriously, _shut the fuck up_."

"…excuse me?" Randy, Jeff, and John all stared at the bespectacled man in shock. Throughout all the years they had known each other, the three men had never heard Todd speak to them this way. "Excuse me, Grisham?" Randy repeated, still not fully understanding what had just happened. Towering over the smaller man, Randy glared at Todd, giving him the iciest look that a human being could ever give to his peer. "I'm sorry, but could you say that again? Did you just tell me to shut the fuck up?"

Todd trembled, almost regretting his actions, but then he remembered the hurt look on June's face. "I didn't stutter, Randy," Todd mumbled, his voice much calmer than how he actually felt.

_Oh my god, I'm going to get murdered by Randy, aren't I?_

Suddenly, a hand shot out and grabbed Randy by the arm. Todd followed the hand, and saw that it belonged to a very solemn looking Jeff. "Orton," Jeff said quietly, "I think you should go."

"Wha…?" Randy stared at Jeff in disbelief before he turned to John, who merely gave him a death-glare. The Legend Killer shook his head, cursing quietly under his breath. Then, he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, slipped it on angrily, and left the restaurant without another word.

Todd buried his face in his hands as he watched him go. "Goddamn it…Randy and Junie are going to be the death of me at this rate."

"Man, just forget about it." Jeff slapped Todd on the back, and poured him another glass of champagne. "He'll mellow out by tomorrow."

"If he doesn't murder me by then, you mean," Todd groaned, hanging his head in anguish. "The night wasn't supposed to end like this. We were all supposed to celebrate, and—and I was going to ask you three to be the baby's godfathers and all."

"Well, we accept anyway," Jeff said dryly, giving Todd a small smile. "Besides, me and Cena were going to appoint ourselves as the kid's godparents anyway, with or without your permission."

"Do you think Junie's okay, though?" John asked nervously, glancing over in the direction of the women's bathroom. "She's been in there for a while, now…"

Todd sighed. "If she has the leg cramps—and I'm positive she does—then she'll be in there for a couple more minutes."

"Shit." John grabbed his champagne glass and tossed the entire drink back in one gulp. "So much for my night."

Jeff rolled his eyes. "Cena, just shut it will you? This ain't about you! So Todd…" The rainbow-haired artist gave the bespectacled man a grin. "I can't believe you used your own sperm to get Junie pregnant! I guess in-vitro really does work after all for the near sterile."

"Um…yeah." Todd smiled nervously. Technically, he _wasn't_ lying—he had mixed all three sperm samples from his friends, and had added his own sample a second later. But he was still sterile. The chances of him actually fathering the baby were a virtual zero. "The power of technology, huh? But besides that…" He fiddled with his thumbs. "I wouldn't have been able to have done this if it weren't for you guys."

"Eh?" Jeff and John exchanged glances, before they gave Todd a curious stare. "What'cha mean, Todd?" John asked. "What do we have to do with all this?"

"Eh? Well…" Todd coughed, before he laughed out loud and picked up the bottle of champagne. "Who wants another drink, huh?"

"Hold up, Grisham!" Jeff snatched the champagne bottle away from Todd, and gave his friend a hard stare. "You…you didn't use _our _samples to get Junie pregnant…did you? 'Cause if you did, then you're a dead man!"

_..._

_Oh_ _crap, what the fuck do I say? God, please kill me now!_

"What? Ahahahaha!" Todd's laughter became even more frenzied and hectic, and he waved his hand in the air, seemingly in dismissal. "Oh, come on! I promised I wouldn't do that to you guys!"

"But you just said—"

"I meant it in a figurative sense! You guys gave me the strength I needed to give in-vitro a try with Junie, and it paid off! I owe you guys!"

"Oh." John blinked, before he nodded his head solemnly. "I guess that makes sense."

Todd released the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. "Good. Good. Oh, Junie!" The bespectacled man looked up as he saw his wife slowly making her way back towards their table, limping slightly as she took her seat. "Honey, are you okay? You had a leg cramp again, didn't you?"

"I—I'm okay," June said softly, giving Todd a gentle smile. Still, Todd, Jeff, and John couldn't help but notice that her eyes were red and puffy around the corners. "Say, guys…where's Randy?" June looked around the restaurant in alarm. "Did he step out for some air?"

"He went home," Todd answered, reaching out to hold June's hand again.

"Home? But why?"

"He…" Todd fumbled for a minute, trying to come up with an excuse. "He said was tired, and he wanted to get some sleep for his big conference tomorrow. You know how much work means to him."

"…oh."

They didn't say another word for the rest of the evening, not even when Todd's cellphone went off right in the middle of dinner. When that happened, Todd simply gave everyone an apologetic look, and left the restaurant so that he could talk outside in peace. "Hello?"

"_Yes, is this the number of Todd Grisham?_"

"Speaking."

"_This is the San Francisco Police Department._"

"San Francisco?" They were several states away—what on earth did they want with him?

"_We are contacting you because the man in question is in no condition to speak for himself. Your father-in-law's in jail and he would like for you to come down and bail him out._"


	4. Everything’s Going to Change

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Four: Everything's Going to Change**

_Some people have been wondering why I'm not including the wimp as one of my daddies._

_Well, it's because he's not my daddy!_

_I'm telling you right now, as far back as I can remember, that wimp has never been a part of my life! Sure, mommy makes me look at his picture every now and again, but that's all he is to me—a picture. My REAL daddies are the ones who took care of me, who loved me every day, and taught me to say "WORD LIFE!" And they happen to be Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John! To be honest, I don't even know what happened to the wimp. He left my mommy all by herself before I was born, and—_

_Huh?_

…

_Oh, really? Is that what happened?_

_I see._

_Poor mommy…_

_Well readers, what happened is…um…oh boy. Maybe you guys should read it for yourselves. It's too complicated to explain here._

* * *

Six months into her pregnancy, and she already felt like a bloated whale.

For June Grisham, getting up in the mornings became harder and harder due to her feeling heavier and heavier, and she couldn't imagine how she was going to get through the next three months. Adding to the problem was the constant, gnawing feeling of hunger that plagued her night and day. The baby surprisingly had an amazing appetite, and she just couldn't figure out who Jamie got that trait from, because neither she nor Todd ate very much.

_Feh! If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that Jamie's eating like one of the other guys!_

But still, hungry or tired or whatnot, on _that _particularly cold and freezing morning, June somehow found the strength to stand and follow Todd to his car, walking slowly so that she wouldn't lose her balance and fall over. "Be careful, okay honey?" she warned him, leaning against the hood of the vehicle as she watched him step inside. "When in San Francisco, don't go into any seedy bars, don't stay in shabby motels…and don't talk to any prostitutes and pimps that you don't know."

"Ha! Don't worry; I won't do any of those things." Grinning, Todd shut the door and poked his head out the window. "I'm gonna miss you, Junie. I wish I didn't have to leave you here like this. You sure you're going to be alright?"

June smiled. "I'll be _fine_, sweetheart. Besides, business trips are business trips, right? And anyway, it's only for two days. I'm a big, strong girl…I can take care of myself."

"Fine, fine, I won't nag. Just remember, the money jar is—"

"—above the fridge," June finished.

"Right. And if you need help for anything at all—"

"—then call John, Jeff, and Randy," June stated dully, before she stuck her tongue out at her husband. "Todd, stop mollycoddling me so much! Just get your work done and come back as soon as possible, okay? That way, I can show you just how much I really appreciate you." Bending over slightly, she cupped his face in her hands and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "Just be safe."

"Mmm." Kissing her back, Todd stared into his wife's eyes and sighed. "I love you."

June grinned. "I know."

"Hey! This is where you're supposed to say you love me back!"

"Bring me back something sweet and delicious when you come home, and I'll think about it."

"Junie!"

* * *

_Liar._

That one, nagging, grating little word had echoed mercilessly throughout his cranium ever since he had left June standing outside their apartment. Todd shook his head, desperately trying to clear his mind of such thoughts, but his psyche was persistent, unforgiving, and ruthless.

_Liar!_

There was no business trip—never had been, never would be. Since when did anchormen have to go to San Francisco for business, anyway? But June…she had believed his lie, no questions asked. As he drove towards the airport, Todd couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. June trusted in him so much, maybe even too much. She was so naïve, so devoted to him up to the point where he could sneak off to be with a secret mistress for an entire week, and she wouldn't even _suspect_ him of doing such a thing.

_Liar, liar, liar, LIAR!_

But he wasn't off to cheat. Naïve or not, Junie was the only woman he truly loved, and cheating was the farthest thing from his mind. No, he wasn't off to cheat.

He was off to save his father-in-law from prison.

Anyone who knew June's history would understand why Todd had to lie. June's relationship with Arnold Barnett was one that could only be stated as "complicated," because in all fairness, Barnett was not a bad man. He didn't drink, he rarely smoked, and he had no drug problems to speak of. Years ago, he had worked a blue-collar job as a show salesman, and had earned enough money in the past to provide a meager enough life for his family. Although Barnett was never home much, Todd had met him on rare occasions, and had found him to be very amiable when in a relaxed environment.

However, Barnett had one fatal vice. He was a compulsive gambler.

Throughout June's childhood, Barnett had spent any savings he had playing cards or pool. If he had been _good _at gambling, it would have been a different story, but Barnett had no skill whatsoever. This resulted in June spending many birthdays and Christmases without presents, and she had to spend many weekends waiting for her father to come home, only to go out late at night and drag her old man away from the card tables, trying not to cry when her father screamed and pleaded that he could win the money back.

Often Todd and the others had gone with her, helping her carry her father home. Todd always remembered the pained look on June's face, the look that was a terrible mixture of anger and disappointment and shame. The first time he had seen that look, the look that she only ever showed when around her father (and occasionally Randy), Todd knew that she did not necessarily hate Barnett. She sure as hell didn't love him, but she didn't hate him either.

She simply wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

She never actually said this, but Todd figured as much when she didn't invite her father to the wedding. He had made a small remark about it, a small, subtle remark, but at the mention of Barnett's name, June's face had become so pinched and crabby that Todd had immediately dropped the topic and moved on.

However…Todd felt bad for the old man. Barnett was still technically his father-in-law after all, and knowing that he was in a San Francisco prison alarmed Todd more than he wanted to admit. Was Barnett injured? Did he get carried away with his gambling again and ended up in trouble with the creditors? Those thoughts replayed in his mind like a bad horror flick, and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.

_God, I hope he's okay._

His phone suddenly rang, startling him so much that he almost steered off of the road. "Jesus, what the fuck…?" Grabbing at his cellphone, Todd glanced at the caller ID, his eyes widening when he saw June's name on the screen.

Why was she calling? He had only been gone for twenty-five minutes!

"H-hello? Junie, is everything okay?"

"Y-yeah." June's voice sounded low, and there was a bit of a quiver in her tone.

"What's wrong? You sound a bit under the weather. You stood outside too long, didn't you?"

"N-no, it's just—it's just that the heating broke down in our apartment. I have no idea how it happened…"

Todd blinked, steering hard to the left as he made a detour around a closed down roadway. "Really? Did you check the thermos?"

"Yeah, I put it all the way up, but it's still so _cold _here."

"What? But it's supposed to be below freezing tonight! Try to get it fixed. I don't want you catching a cold."

"I tried…I talked to the building manager, but he said that he wouldn't have it fixed until tomorrow night." June then coughed, a sound that made Todd tense with worry.

This was bad. She couldn't stay in their apartment tonight—if she got sick, then she wouldn't be able to take any medication, as it would harm the baby. "Junie, don't stay at the apartment tonight. Go to John, Jeff, and Randy's place, and stay the night. I'll give them a call to tell them you're coming."

"You want me to go over to their _bachelor pad_?" Todd could visually imagine June gagging at this suggestion, and while he normally would have found this funny, his concern for his wife and unborn child overrode all traces of humor in the situation.

"Junie, it's just for tonight. Besides, it'll be a good way for you and Randy to patch things up."

Silence.

"Junie?"

Silence. Then, a sigh. "I suppose so. I wanted to hang out with John and Jeff again, anyway."

"Alright then. Love you."

"I know."

Todd smiled and hung up the phone. Then, he opened it again, and dialed in the number to John's cell.

* * *

"…zzz…"

Even though they were supposed to be on stakeout, John, Cody, Holly, and their captain, Steve Austin, all fell asleep after five, long, miserable hours of waiting for their suspect to show up. They had all tried their best to stay awake, they really did, but coffee could only sustain a person for so long, and in times of sheer boredom and monotony, caffeine was virtually useless.

So when John's high, shrill ring tone began to echo loudly throughout the car, it was no surprise that all four men nearly jumped through the roof at the sound, snorting and rubbing their eyes as they looked around for the disturbing noise.

"H-hey!" Steve yelled, covering his mouth as he tried unsuccessfully to hide a yawn. "Cena, you idiot! I told you to shut all cellphones off!"

"Sorry," John mumbled apologetically, attempting to blink the blurriness from his eyes as he opened his phone. "Hullo?"

"John? It's Todd. Look, I need a favor—"

"Can you call me back?" John interrupted, peering out of the car window as he caught a glimpse of his suspect. "I'm kinda busy here."

"But John, I'm going out of town and I need you to—"

"HE'S HERE!" Cody yelled, bursting out of the car to chase after the now startled and obviously terrified suspect. "HEY YOU! STOP! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"

"Just shut up and chase his fucking ass, Rhodes!" Holly yelled, scowling as he ran after his younger partner. "Jesus, how many fucking times do I have to tell you the basics? Catch him first, shout your ass off later!"

"Todd, I gotta go, okay? Call me back!" With that, John shut his phone off, tossed it into the backseat, and ran after the others with his handcuffs in hand.

* * *

Todd stared at his phone in disbelief. "Fucking bastard…"

Maybe he'd have better luck with Randy.

* * *

Randy tensed when he felt—and heard—his phone vibrating in his pocket. Reaching behind him, he quickly shut it off, trying to ignore the embarrassed feeling of blood rushing to his face.

"It seems that you're a busy man, Randy," Vince McMahon said nonchalantly from behind his newspaper.

"Uh, no sir, it's just…" Forcing a smile to his face, the Legend Killer tried his best to remain calm and collected. "It's just my brother, sir," he lied. "Nate's always calling me at all hours of the day, but I can't always baby him, you know? He's gotta learn to be a man."

"Hmm." Vince nodded, before he turned another page in his paper. "It's true. Discipline is needed to make fine, young men. Your father did a particularly good job with you."

Randy sighed in relief—bored as he seemed, Vince hadn't stormed out of the room yet, and that was always a blessing in disguise. "Thank you sir. Now, about the merger plans…"

"DAMN IT!"

Vince yelled so loudly that Randy nearly jumped out of his skin. "W-what is it sir? Was it something I said?"

"Look at this article, son!" The older man threw the paper down in front of him, and Randy glimpsed a picture of Shawn Michaels and his new wife walking to their car, holding hands as they did their best to ignore the photographers. "What is WRONG with that man?" Vince growled, glaring at the photo in disgust. "Marrying a low-class woman, just because he got her knocked up? There's a reason why there are abortion clinics, you know! Does he have any idea of how much his public image will suffer because of her?"

"Uh…" Randy blinked, before he put on his most serious face and glared at the picture as well. "She will definitely tarnish it, sir," he agreed. "Marrying someone without a proper background…it'll ruin the upper class before we know it."

"I tell you boy…" The eldest McMahon sighed, before looking towards the ceiling wistfully. "Back then, things were different. Back then, people like _us_—" he made a gesture towards himself and Randy "—would be served by people like _them_. We'd have coffee served to us in silver and china plates, not in cheap Styrofoam cups. We'd get the _respect_ that we deserve!"

"I hear you, sir."

"But now…with the nouveau riche like _Hunter_ coming in, marrying princesses like my Stephanie…" Randy saw Vince's hands clench dangerously. "That just really grinds my gears, Orton. That just _really _grinds my gears."

"Yes, sir." Randy then coughed, and looked down at his paperwork. "So sir…about the merger…"

"Hmm? Oh, right." The anger faded from Vince's voice, once again replaced by the bored indifference. "Let's talk about it another time, okay boy? But for now…let's have lunch."

"Lunch…right."

As Vince left, Randy hung his head dejectedly. He had spent the last hour and a half sucking up to one of the biggest names in the industry…and for what? NOTHING! All he got was an hour and a half of boredom, boredom, a second of ranting, and then more boredom.

He had to meet Sam soon; otherwise Vince was going to slip right through his fingers.

Sam was going to be his ticket to the highlife, and the key to R.K.O. Corporation's successful takeover of the business world. And who knows? Maybe he would even learn to like her for her personality, not just for her money.

Maybe.

Nah.

* * *

"Okay…Randy's now officially a douche bag."

Todd angrily punched in Jeff's number. Out of all his friends, the rainbow-haired artist was usually the most reliable.

_Come on, Jeff, don't fail me now…_

* * *

"Hey!" Jeff stared helplessly as Trish Stratus, his boss and _ex_-girlfriend, snatched the buzzing cellphone from his hand. "Come on, Trish! Give that back!"

The blonde woman grinned, and teasingly held the phone out of Jeff's reach. "No way. It's part of your _punishment_ for not submitting your drawings on time."

"But Trish…!" Tied to the bed, naked and vulnerable, Jeff tugged helplessly at his restraints as he tried to think of a way to free himself while staying in Trish's good graces at the same time. Hey, she _was_ still his boss, after all.

_Dang it, this just ain't fair._

Damn his inability to turn down free sex with hot women. Trish knew this little weakness of his, and had used it to get him into her house, into her bed, and into the shackles that now bound him to his boss's headboard. Now he was in a fine pickle—from his past experience with her, and from the way Trish kept sliding her hands up his thigh, Jeff knew that she wasn't going to let him go any time soon.

If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn that she was starting to get a _tad _obsessive over him.

"Trish," Jeff begged, as the blonde bent down to kiss his neck, "I—I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry. But you're married! We can't get back together, damn it! This is why I broke up with you!"

"You didn't seem to think that way when I offered to let you fuck me," Trish mumbled against his skin, running her hands over his chest.

Jeff blinked. "Um, well, that's different. Fucking is fucking, but what _you _want is more than I can really give, darling…"

"So you don't want me?" Trish shrieked, sitting up as she glared at Jeff with every bit of fury that a woman could possess. "The time we spent together meant _nothing_ to you?"

"NO! No, no, no, no!" Jeff shook his head hastily, more out of fear for losing his job than anything else. "I—I loved our time together, Trish! It's just that…um…"

"It's just _what_?"

"…"

"…"

"Never mind. Go ahead and fuck me." Jeff leaned back and closed his eyes, sighing in defeat a Trish smirked and renewed her assault on his neck.

* * *

"Where the fuck are they?" Todd cried, shutting his phone off as he stepped into the airport. John wouldn't pick up, Randy's phone was shut off, and there was no response at all from Jeff's phone.

It was getting late, and Junie was probably standing outside the apartment, wondering why Randy, Jeff, and John weren't letting her inside. Todd winced as he imagined June shivering on the front steps, her body numbed with cold. He had left a voice message on each phone he called, but he kept worrying that Randy, Jeff, and John wouldn't hear it in time.

Paranoia plagued his mind. He imagined coming home to a sick and feverish June. He imagined her pale and sweaty body, picturing the way her skin stretched tightly over her large, round stomach.

_Skin the color of skim milk, the texture thin and frail, like an overstretched water balloon…_

He shook his head fiercely. She's alright, he told himself. Junie will be fine. Everything's going to be okay.

With a heavy heart, he boarded the plane.

* * *

"Hello? HELLOOOO! John! Jeff! Are you guys in there?"

Junie stood outside of Randy, Jeff, and John's apartment building, wrapping her arms tightly around herself as she hopped back and forth on her tired, swollen legs, trying in vain to keep herself warm.

She had forgotten how _huge_ their place was. Their living quarters pretty much took up an entire floor of the building, most likely due to Randy and his large amounts of money and influence. Despite herself, June found herself smiling bitterly at the thought of the Legend Killer. He was so cheap when it came to everyone else, but when he had to spend money on _himself_, he splurged like hell.

Selfish bastard.

Shivering, she checked her watch. It was almost eight o'clock in the evening. Where on earth were they? Even if their schedules _were_ a bit hectic, Jeff was usually home at around this time…

"Hey! Jeff! ANYBODY!" She pressed the bell for their apartment several more times, but there was still no response. It was no use—they simply weren't home.

Sighing, she plopped her rear end onto the frozen bottom step of the stairway and wrapped her coat more tightly around her body, making sure to keep her middle warm. Minutes felt like hours, and for June, it seemed that an eternity had gone by before John finally arrived at the front door, staring at her in shock and astonishment as she looked up and gave him a small, crooked smile.

* * *

_Let me take this opportunity to tell you a little story about Grandpa John Cena Senior. _

_Wow, that's a long name. I think I'll just call him Grandpa J.C.S. for short._

_Grandpa J.C.S is Daddy John's daddy! I know, it's weird, right? I didn't know that daddies could have daddies! And he's so funny looking too—he wears these things called "glasses." I like to pull them off and put them in my mouth, but then mommy gets all upset and pulls them out, telling me that I can't eat them._

_Why can't I eat them, mommy? They look delicious!_

_But this isn't what I wanted to talk about right now. Grandpa J.C.S is the reason why I'm as intelligent and as good-looking as I am today. You wanna know why? Because when I was still in my mommy's tummy, mommy got really sick. But she didn't want to take cold medicine, because she was afraid that it would hurt me. So Daddy John called up Grandpa J.C.S. for some advice, and things turned out A-okay!_

* * *

"You shouldn't have stood out there for so long!" John scolded, pulling the half-frozen June into the warm apartment. "You're gonna catch hypothermia at this rate…what the hell were you thinking?"

The young woman didn't answer at first—the feeling of warmth suddenly flooded her body, and she was too swept away by the pleasurable sensation to take note of anything else around her. Instead, she numbly allowed John to pull her to the couch, and sat down gratefully as John frantically rubbed her cold hands and legs. "Thanks, John."

"Don't thank me," he said briskly, breathing warm air onto her blue fingers. "You should have called me, Junie. What if I had a late night? You would have frozen yourself out there!"

"I thought Jeff was home," June replied pathetically, looking down in embarrassment as Jeff's dog bounded happily onto her lap, begging for a treat. "And in my defense, I thought that Todd called you guys ahead of time. I know it's short notice, but the heating in our apartment broke down, and I was wondering if I could stay here until it was fixed…" June absentmindedly stroked the dog behind the ears, making Jack pant and squirm with delight.

"Of course!" John said quickly, giving June one of the biggest smiles she had ever seen in her life. Walking over to a nearby closet, he reached inside and pulled out a thick blue blanket, draping it heavily over June's shoulders. "My home is your home, so make yourself at home. If that makes sense."

"'Kay," June said gratefully, wrapping the blanket tightly around her body. "I promise I won't be a burden."

"It's no burden at all."

"It's only going to for a night or two."

"Stay for three, or four, or even the whole week."

"You're a sweetheart, love," June giggled, before she suddenly choked and began to cough heavily, covering her mouth as she turned her face away. John immediately rushed to her side, a worried look crossing his handsome facial features.

"Junie! What's wrong?"

"I-it's nothing," June choked out, finally getting her breathing under control. Wiping her lips and sniffling, she looked up and gave John a small smile. "It's just a little cold, John. Nothing to worry about."

"Shoot…" The young detective scratched the back of his head nervously. "I don't know, Junie. Should I go out and buy some medicine for you?"

"Heavens no!" June cried, her eyes widening in horror. "Taking medicine when pregnant isn't allowed! It might hurt the baby…"

"Really? Well, I didn't know that. But what about _you_?"

June shrugged. "I'll just have to suffer through it, I suppose. Ac-hoo!"

John blinked, before he pursed his lips in annoyance. "Damn. This pregnancy thing's harder than it looks. But you know…" His gaze suddenly turned thoughtful. "I remember my mom trying out some homemade remedy when she was sick and pregnant with one of my little brothers. You want me to call my folks up and ask for the recipe?"

"Well…" Honestly, June was a bit doubtful. After all, this was _John's _family they were talking about, and John himself was a bit…well, John was John. But when she coughed again and felt the beginnings of soreness form at the back of her throat, she quickly shoved all doubts to the side. "If it's not too much trouble, John, I'd love to try it."

"Great! I'll call them right now."

* * *

"Hello? John Senior speaking."

"Hey dad! It's me!"

"John, my boy! How are you? You haven't called in ages!"

"Sorry about that, dad. You get the present I sent for you in the mail?"

"Yeah. Love the watch—is it real silver, by the way?"

"Yes sir. But pops, I gotta ask you something—"

"Hold on. Did I just hear a woman sneeze?"

"Um…yeah."

"…is she with you right now?"

"Um…yeah."

"…willingly?"

"Um…yeah."

"…"

"…"

"OH MY LORD! YOU'RE FINALLY SETTLING DOWN! HALLELUJAH, I'M FINALLY GETTING GRANDKIDS FROM YOU!"

"No, dad! What the hell? She's my friend's wife! Remember Junie?"

"Oh. OH! Yeah, I remember her! Sweet girl, that one. Didn't she used to make me brownies on my birthday?"

"Yeah, that's her. But seriously—she's pregnant, dad, and she's sick. I was wondering if you could give me that homemade remedy that you and mom used when she was pregnant when Sean."

"…"

"…dad?"

"Why the hell are you taking care of someone else's woman, John?"

"Dad! She's still my friend, and she needs me!"

"Well, where the hell's her husband?"

"He's on some business trip, and you know about Junie's leg problem. I can't just leave her alone."

"…"

"DAD!"

"Fine, fine. First off, before I give you the remedy, make sure that the poor girl does NOT take cold medicine. I swear, whenever I look at you and think about the crazy crap you've pulled in the past, I keep thinking back to that time your momma drank cold medicine when she was still pregnant with you…"

"SHE WHAT?"

"But that's not important now, son. What's important is Junie, so listen carefully. Take several pears, peel them, take the seeds out, and boil the pears in hot water, and then while it's still boiling, toss in two tablespoons of high quality honey, and then throw in a pinch of sugar for extra sweetness, and then have the girl sip a cup of it carefully and slowly."

"…"

"Son?"

"Hold up, dad, I'm trying to write all this shit down. Can you say that again a little more slowly?"

* * *

Randy grumbled as he pushed the shopping cart alongside the isles. "_Yes_, Cena," the Legend Killer said mockingly, holding his phone close to his ear as he stopped in front of the fruit section. "Yes, I'll get the fucking pears."

"Make sure they're the most expensive ones you can find," John said threateningly from the other end. "Don't be a penny pincher today. This is Junie's health we're talking about."

"Whatever." Randy rolled his eyes, before shutting the phone off.

_Lousy bitch_, he thought to himself. Why the hell was she imposing on them like this? It wasn't his fault that she got sick. And why the hell was John so determined to make her feel all comfortable? She wasn't their fucking wife!

Growling, he turned to the selection of available pears. The most expensive ones were almost two dollars each…but, there was a selection to the side, where another brand of pears was priced at five dollars if three were brought.

He paused for a minute, deliberating whether or not Junie was worth spending a few extra cents.

…

Fuck that. She wasn't his woman.

He picked up the cheaper pears and tossed them into a bag, just as Jeff came along with a bottle of honey and a box of sugar cubes.

"Alright," Jeff said as he threw the items in the cart. Randy's brow rose when he spotted what appeared to be a hickey on the base of Jeff's neck. "I think that's everything."

"Yeah. So…how was your day with Trish?" Randy drawled, his voice becoming playful and suggestive. Jeff blushed before he turned away and coughed loudly.

"Orton, what I do with my boss during my time at work don't concern you."

"Uh-huh. I just find it funny, seeing as you told me you broke up with her two weeks ago."

"Shut your mouth, will ya?" Jeff snapped, turning the collar of his coat up so that the hickey was hidden. "Just to let you know, after this we need to pick up some buffalo wings, some blue cheese, a bean burrito, and some nacho cheese. Cena's orders."

"What?" Randy stared at Jeff in disbelief. "Where the hell did _this_ come from? Cena didn't mention all this shit to me!"

"Well, duh. He just called me ten seconds ago. Junie's got a craving for all those foods right _now_."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" the Legend Killer yelled, kicking the cart with so much fury that it fell over, causing Jeff to scramble quickly to get the fallen pears off of the floor. "We are _not_ Junie's fucking slaves! If John cares so much that she's hungry, then tell him to get the food himself!"

"Come on," Jeff argued, attempting to push the cart upright. "She's pregnant, and it's only for a few nights."

"Fuck that. I don't give a shit about her. I don't give a fuck that Todd's our friend, and frankly, I'm sick of—HEY!"

Randy yelped when two little boys rushed by him, giggling their heads off as their exhausted looking mother chased after them. Jeff stepped to the side as the kids ran off, taunting and teasing their poor mother just before they disappeared behind the rows of cereal. The rainbow-haired artist chuckled, before he looked back at Randy—and promptly paled. The Legend Killer looked so furious that even Cena wouldn't have had the balls to mess with him at that instant.

"Kids!" Randy shrieked, startling an elderly couple who were walking further down the isle. "I fucking hate them, man! Don't know why Junie and Todd want one so much…they're all just fucking DEVILS!"

"Man, why're you screaming your head off at me for?" Jeff retorted, putting his hands up in a pacifying gesture. "I ain't in their head! And keep your voice down. I don't wanna get thrown out of here…"

"Kids are devils, man!" Randy went on, completely ignoring Jeff. "Devils! They don't listen to nobody, and they only think about themselves! They're all selfish bastards!"

"Kinda like you, Orton?" Jeff replied dryly.

"Yeah, kinda like—WHAT? You son-of-a-bitch! I'll punch you in your fucking mouth for that!"

* * *

Todd shivered as he stood outside the police station in dismay, his feelings dampening even further due to the freezing, heavy rain that was pouring all over the city. The man next to him shivered as well, though Todd suspected that it had nothing to do with the cold temperatures.

_Remember, Toddie…father-in-laws are entitled to some form of respect, even if they are screw-ups._

"I'm sorry," the man said quietly. "I didn't mean to get you involved in this, but…I just didn't know who else to call."

"It's okay, Mr. Barnett," Todd replied, his keeping his voice and calm even though he felt like a boiling volcano inside.

When he had entered the police station to bail out his father-in-law, he had been devastated to learn that his suspicions had indeed been correct. Barnett had been gambling again, had accumulated a large amount of debt, and had no way of paying it back. The amount of money the man had lost was staggering; Barnett had sold his home and used his entire savings trying to pay back his creditors, but he still wasn't anywhere near close to paying them off completely.

By Todd's estimate, if he decided to get involved with Barnett's debts, he could have to either help his father-in-law by working hard for the next ten years, or sell off their apartment and have himself and Junie live on the streets.

Todd rubbed his temples. He had said, just a few short seconds ago, that it was okay. But in all honesty, everything about the situation was _far_ from okay.

"I don't know how I can repay you," Barnett murmured suddenly, jerking the bespectacled man from his thoughts. "I know I haven't been there for you and Junie….and god knows I don't deserve to be anywhere near my baby girl…but I just want you to know, I really _am _sorry."

"If you're sorry, then stop doing this to yourself!" Todd said angrily, turning to his father-in-law with a frustrated glare. "I came today secretly. Junie doesn't even know I'm here. She thinks I'm on some business trip."

Barnett stared at Todd in shock.

"I know, right? And I really, really hate lying to my wife, so you owe me."

"I'll pay you back, Toddie. I promise!"

"I don't want your money!" Todd yelled, startling the old man. "I just want you to get your act together! Don't you know how much you've hurt Junie because of your sick gambling addiction? She didn't even want to invite you to our wedding, Mr. Barnett. How much lower do you have to sink before you get your head out of your ass?"

Barnett whimpered, and lowered his head. "I don't know…"

"And to top it off, you're going to be a grandfather soon. Don't you want to see your grandchild with your head held high?"

At this, the older man looked up in shock. "My baby's having a baby?"

"Yes, sir." At the surprised, but happy look on his father-in-law's face, Todd managed to calm down slightly. "I would like it if the family stayed together, Mr. Barnett. None of my relatives are alive, and it hurts me to see Junie distance herself from you. She's normally a very gentle person, and it's just not in her to hate anyone."

"I…I know." Barnett lowered his gaze for a moment, before he looked up with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "If I can get back on my feet, then can I come and see her, Todd? Can I come and see my grandkid?"

"Sure. And…" Here Todd paused, before he gave Barnett a small smile. "And I'll help you with paying off your debts. It won't be easy to do it alone, though. You need to get a job, okay? Here's some money." The bespectacled man took out his wallet, fished out several bills, and stuffed them into Barnett's hands. "Something to help get you on your feet."

"Right-ee-oh, Toddie!" Barnett then laughed, and for a second, Todd saw a bit of June appear from behind the older man's shining brown eyes. "I'll do my best, I promise! Tell Junie that I love her, and by the time you see me again, I'm gonna be a whole new man for my grandkid!"

With that, the old man ran off into the blistering rain, skipping, and laughing as he disappeared off into the night. Todd smiled, shaking his head, before he headed off towards his car and drove back in the direction of the airport.

Would his father-in-law really shape up? He didn't know. Barnett had made similar promises before and had broken each and every one of them, which was partially why June never wanted to talk to him again. But still…at seeing how happy the old man seemed when told that he was going to be a grandfather, maybe, just maybe, there was hope.

…

It was then he noticed how dark the entire road was.

He squinted, trying in vain to see past the pouring sheets of icy rain. He hoped that this wasn't going to delay any flights. He wanted to go back home to June as soon as possible, and spend the rest of the week making love to her.

Where was the highway? Had he missed it during that last turn?

No, he shouldn't panic. Panic was bad.

Suddenly, he heard a loud honking. Sounded as if it came from in front of him.

His eyes widened when he saw the truck headed towards him, the bright lights harsh and blinding as it sped closer and closer towards him. Terror seizing his heart, he desperately swerved the wheel, trying to avoid the truck, but he then saw a "Road Closed" sign in front of him…

For a second, his entire life flashed before his eyes. He saw himself as a little boy, crying as he clutched at his bleeding, stubbly knee. He saw Randy, Jeff, and John all lifting him onto their shoulders during his sixteenth birthday party. He remembered when he first told June that he loved her, and how elated he felt when she said she loved him back. He remembered the wedding, the nights of lovemaking. The baby.

He felt happy and terrified, all at the same time.

And then, he felt nothing at all.

* * *

June took a large bite out of her burrito, before washing it down with a swing of the pear-honey juice that John had boiled for her earlier. "Thi' shis 'eally goo'!" she mumbled, smiling as she devoured an entire buffalo wing covered in blue cheese in less than ten seconds. Swallowing, she gave the very disgruntled looking Jeff and Randy a grin. "You guys sure you don't want any? There's more than enough for everyone…"

"I'm good, thanks," Jeff said quickly, reaching over to wipe a bit of blue cheese from the corner of June's mouth. "I had a big, _big_ lunch, so I don't really need to eat any of that, sweetheart. Really. I don't."

"Oh." June took another sip of juice, before she turned to Randy with an uneasy smile. "What about you, Randy? Want some?"

"No." Randy looked away in disgust as June continued to stuff her face. "You just go ahead and eat _all_ of that, Junie. It cost me money to get these things for you, so you'd better finish all of that shit."

June looked down, flinching slightly at his harsh tone. "Oh. Okay, then…"

"I'll eat some!" John said cheerfully, reaching over to grab an untouched buffalo wing.

"Really?" At the detective's participation, June immediately perked up. "Go right ahead, John! Have some blue cheese, while you're at it!"

"Now we're talking! Ooh! Can I have some burritos, too?"

"Of course!"

"Oh my god," Randy muttered quietly, trying not to throw up as he watched John and June devour the food greedily. "Hardy, June's baby has the same fucking appetite as John."

"It's fucking disgusting, man," Jeff agreed, turning somewhat green as John grabbed the bowl of nacho cheese and tilted it into his mouth.

Suddenly, June's cell phone rang. Wiping her hands on a nearby napkin, the young woman gingerly picked up her phone by the tips of her fingers, and held it close to her ear. "Hello?" She paused as she listened to the speaker on the other side. "Yes, this is June Grisham speaking."

At first, Randy, Jeff, and John had assumed it was Todd. But as the speaker continued to talk on the other end, they realized that June's face was slowly becoming more tense and frightened, that her skin was becoming pale and pallid until it was the color of skim milk.

"I see." When she spoke, they realized that June's voice had lost all of her earlier emotion, and her eyes, normally a vibrant brown, was startlingly dull and lifeless. "I see. Thank you."

With that, she turned the phone off, and stared dully at the food. Randy, Jeff, and John all exchanged nervous glances, before John tentatively asked, "Junie? What's wrong?"

She didn't reply.

"Junie?" It was Jeff who spoke this time. "Junie! Hey, talk to us, girl! What's the matter?"

She didn't reply. Her mouth moved silently, forming words, but no one could hear them.

"Damn it, woman!" Randy snapped, losing all of his patience. "What the fuck is the matter with you?"

"Orton!"

"What, Cena? She ain't fucking talking!"

"They're lying," she finally croaked, her voice so low and helpless that it sounded as if they were speaking to a child. She looked up at them, tears spilling from her eyes. "They're saying such terrible things about Todd…they're lying to me, guys. They keep telling me that he's dead…"


	5. Grief Can Screw You Over, Big Time

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Five: Grief Can Screw You Over, Big Time**

_I think it was raining that day. Everyone was so sad._

_My mommy and daddies and the wimp were all supposed to go out to the movie theater that day to relax and have fun, but they didn't go to the theater at all. Instead, they all went to this large, scary looking place where lots of stones were sticking out of the ground._

_Daddy Randy called it a cemetery, I think._

_There weren't that many people there—just my mommy and daddies and this guy they called a "priest." My daddies were carrying this large black box that looked really heavy. Mommy told me that she wanted to carry it too, but Daddy Jeff wouldn't let her, because I was still in her stomach at the time._

_Daddy Jeff and Daddy John cried so much. Daddy Randy tried to hide it, but he ended up crying too. And mommy…_

_Mommy. She was so quiet. Daddy John told me he was crying twice as hard because mommy looked so sad, so much like a ghost. But she didn't cry. Like me, I don't think she really understood what was going on._

_The priest was saying some things about the wimp I didn't understand. They were talking about his life, and what he did when he was a grown up. But why were they even talking about him, anyway? He wasn't even there. Was he inside the black box, maybe? Was he sleeping?_

_But what scared me the most was when they lowered the box into the ground. Mommy started __**screaming**__, and Daddy Jeff told me that she threw herself onto the black box, crying and begging them not to bury it._

"_Don't put him down there!" mommy wailed, hanging on even when Daddy John tried desperately to pull her off and to calm her down. "Let go of me, John! They can't put him down there! He can't be dead, he just can't be! Todd! TODD!"_

_I think it was raining that day. Everyone was so sad._

* * *

June sat on the edge of her bed, her hands gripping at the covers.

She wanted to cry. In fact, she had spent the last fifteen minutes trying her hardest to cry, to wail, to _scream _out her sorrow, but her throat was sore, her mind felt numb, and her eyes were no longer capable of producing any more tears. She had wept herself dry days ago.

_It's not fair._

Even two weeks after the funeral, she still couldn't grasp the situation. Her Todd…her beloved husband…was he really dead? Was he really, truly dead? No. He couldn't be dead. It seemed as if it was only yesterday that he had waved to her from his car as he drove to the airport.

He loved her. He always told her that he wouldn't leave her.

_How dare you, Todd? Who the fuck gave you permission to die?_

He had no right to die. He had no right! How could he just leave her alone like this, a woman almost seven months into pregnancy, a woman who had no job, no family, and no current means of supporting herself? She was weak, and he _knew_ that she was weak. It was a piece of shit to live alone, to have no hand to hold, and she realized with horror that she now had to live alone again.

He left her. He left her to face her loneliness without him.

_You fucking bastard! I hate you! I HATE you!_

Gripping tightly at her stomach, she choked back a sob. "Why?" she whispered to the empty room. "Why did you take him? I needed him then and I need him now. How could you take him from me? He was all I had…"

Was it something she did? Had she done something wrong? If she did, she would fix it! She would go to hell, exchange her soul, tear out her eyes and ears and tongue—she would do _anything_ to have Todd back.

_Please…someone please tell me it's going to be okay…_

She suddenly felt a kick near the underside of her stomach. Pressing a hand to her belly, she looked down and ran her fingers across the navel, thinking of the baby attached to the other side of it and imagining it could feel her touch so that it might even reach out to her.

_The baby's hungry_, her mind whispered softly. June then snorted. Of course the baby was hungry, for the baby was always hungry. Heck, she was hungry too. But she just couldn't find the strength to get up. Couldn't find the will to go make herself something to eat.

As a mother, she wanted this baby to be strong and healthy. But as an insecure, widowed, weakling of a wife, she didn't really give a crap about anything other than herself and her dead husband.

_Jamie…I'm so sorry. Please forgive your selfish mommy._

* * *

_Mommy, I'm hungry! Feed me!_

…

_Mommy! I want some food! Feed me or I'll kick you!_

…

_Acck! Why won't she eat anything? I'm starving here! I need my daily dosage of proteins and carbohydrates and fatty sugars! Don't make me kick you again, mommy! I mean it!_

_Mommy, are you still sad? Please don't cry anymore. You might not know it, but I need you! And my daddies need you too! Don't you remember? You still have my daddies to think about!_

_Please don't cry anymore, mommy. When you cry, it makes me want to cry too._

_And besides, I'm still hungry._

_Please, mommy…_

* * *

Jeff swirled the glass of whiskey in his hand. "So Orton…you sure you don't have to work this week?"

"I'm sure. I'm the acting CEO right now. I can do whatever the fuck I want." The Legend Killer tossed his own drink back in one gulp, wincing a second later at the burning sensation of the alcohol scorching the inside of his throat. "Damn, that's some strong shit. Cena, pour me another cup, will ya?"

"Pour it yourself," John grumbled, before burying his face in his hands. Neither Jeff nor Randy could see his face, but they heard his ragged breaths and saw his shoulders twitch periodically. "Shit," the young detective whispered, his voice cracking as he tried his hardest not to cry. "Todd was just a scrawny little punk. Why the hell is he making me act like a goddamn pussy?"

"It's called mourning for a friend, jackass," Jeff snapped, though he too took a moment to wipe away his own silent tears. "It ain't no sin for a man to cry for a friend."

Randy snorted. "Then why are you trying to hide _your_ tears, Hardy?"

"I ain't crying. I got something in my eye, that's all."

"Sure." Randy poured himself another drink. "Whatever you say, man. Whatever you say."

John lifted his face from his hands, and stared at his untouched drink. "Hey, guys?"

"What?"

"I know this isn't the time to say this, but…have either of you checked up on Junie? It's been a while, and I want to go see her, but…" John faltered off.

In truth, he hadn't gone to see Junie since the funeral. One part of him most certainly wanted to, but this was the part that cared about June more than life, and this was the part he tried to ignore ever since her marriage to Todd. Now that Todd was dead he wasn't sure what to do anymore regarding the young mother-to-be, and his guilt made him distance himself from her.

"I haven't gone either," Jeff admitted, his voice filled to the brim with guilt. "With all the shit that's happened…I just couldn't go see her. She needed her space."

"Well, we definitely know Orton didn't go to see her," John muttered angrily, giving the Legend Killer a look of annoyance. "You probably wouldn't care if she was dying in a ditch somewhere, would you?"

"WHAT? What the fuck, man?" Randy clenched his hands as he glared daggers at the young detective. Between Jeff and John, the latter was always the one who slammed him down regarding his treatment towards June. "Why do you always think the worst of me when Junie's involved?"

"It's because you always say that you hate her!" John retorted.

"I don't hate her!"

"Right," John sneered condescendingly. "The fact that you constantly look down on her and make her feel like shit is an indication that you two are the bestest of friends. Somebody, give Randy a fucking medal for being Best Friend of the Year!"

"It ain't like that!" Randy retorted, gritting his teeth.

"Then what, Orton? What the hell do you have against Junie to make you act like such an ass towards her?"

"Get off my back, Cena! It's none of your business!"

"GUYS!" Jeff stepped in between the two men, giving both John and Randy looks of disgust. "What the fuck is the matter with you two? Have you forgotten that Todd just died, and that Junie probably feels like crap right about now?"

"…"

"…"

Of course they _haven't _forgotten that, but neither of them was in the mood to correct Jeff at the moment.

"Jesus." The rainbow-haired artist ran a hand through his locks, before he sighed. "Look, I'm gonna go see Junie right now. God knows how she's been holding up since the funeral. This can't be good for her or her baby."

"…yeah." John hung his head. "You're right. We should go see her."

"Good boy. You coming, Orton?" Jeff threw a questioning glance at Randy, who sat still for a moment, still glaring hatred at John. Then, after a stern look from Jeff, the Legend Killer begrudgingly got up, and made a sweeping gesture towards the door.

"Go on, Hardy. Lead the way."

* * *

John knocked three times before he opened the door. Neither he nor Jeff nor Randy saw June at first—the room was dark, and she was wearing her black mourning dress. "Junie? Girl, you in there?"

She was sitting up straight on the side of the bed, her hands clenching the sides of the bed in a vice-like grip. She hadn't moved from that spot for almost two days, but far be it for her to tell _them_ that little bit of information. "Hi, guys," she mumbled, keeping her head low.

Her voice sounded as emotionless as that fateful evening when she had received the call about Todd's death. John noted, with a painful twist in his heart, that June's normally plump and rosy face was now pale and sunken. He tried to think of something to say.

He came up with nothing.

"We were worried about you," Jeff finally murmured, beating John to the punch. Next to him, Randy nodded in agreement, though the Legend Killer's face was an unreadable mask.

"I'm sorry for making you guys worry," June said quietly, still not looking up at them.

"No, don't be sorry." John said quickly. "Don't you feel sorry, Junie. We just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Oh."

"Junie…" Jeff fidgeted at the doorway of the bedroom. "Can we…can we come in?"

"You want to come in?"

"If that's okay with you, darlin'."

"Sure."

After the three men closed the door behind them, the room was so dark that they were barely able to make out June's shape.

"Do you want me to turn on the light, guys?" June asked softly. "We can turn on the light, if you want."

"No," Randy replied, his voice low and controlled. "This is fine."

"You know, I used to be afraid of the dark," June went on, talking more to herself than to the three men in front of her. "But sometimes, it's the best place to be. Sometimes you can see things in the dark that you can't see in the light."

"What the hell can you see here in the dark?" Randy asked in disbelief, making his way over to June's bed and taking a seat beside her. He paused for a second, debating momentarily with himself, before he grasped her tightly clenched hands and gently pried the fingers loose. "I honestly don't see shit, Junie."

June chuckled dryly, before she gave Randy a dry smile. "When I was six," she said softly, "my father used to pick me up from school."

As the eyes of the men adjusted to the dark, they could see a wedge of light shimmering on the ceiling.

"But you know something, guys? One day, he didn't come. It was raining, so lots of parents came for their children. But my father didn't come." June shifted her weight and the bed frame creaked beneath her. "You guys left with your dads and brothers, I remember. And then I was the only one left. I started crying because I thought I'd have to stay in the school all by myself."

"Junie…" John tried to reach for her, but she held up a hand to stop him.

"No, let me finish. It was getting dark when I heard footsteps in the hall. It was Todd. He came back with his mom for me. He smoothed my hair and wiped my face, but I couldn't stop crying. He took my hand and we started to leave, but when we passed by the auditorium, he stopped. I knew he wanted me to stop crying, but he didn't say anything. He just looked at me for moment, before he led me inside."

There was a moment of silence in the room. In the soft quietness, they heard a cough from the floor above, the thick, wheezing cough of an old man.

"Todd took me to a seat in the front row, and then he walked up the steps to the stage. He looked so embarrassed, you know? He stared at me and began to hum a song, some tune I didn't know. And then, he started to dance. Lifted his arms, turned his body slowly and began to move to the sound of his own song. He hated dancing, he hated it even when we all grew up, but for that day he danced just for me. I never took my eyes away from him. And when he finished, he smiled at me."

June finally looked up, and three finally saw her eyes for the first time in ages. The dark brown seemed distant, untouchable.

"You know what, guys? I don't think he ever smiled like that again, not even when we got married."

At that instant, none of the three men knew what had come over them. Whether it was John's love, Jeff's concern, or Randy's own complicated emotions towards June, all three of the men found themselves simultaneously crossing the room and wrapping their arms around the dark-haired woman, shaking from the effort of trying not to cry as June fell limp in their embrace and finally shut down.

* * *

It took some coaxing, but they finally got June out of the bedroom.

"We, um, we got you some food," Jeff said slowly, sitting June down at the dining room table. He brought the bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken closer to her, and removed the top cover.

The young widow stared dully at the food. "I'm not hungry." Her stomach growled loudly in protest a second later, and had the situation not been so grim, everyone would have laughed.

Of course, "would have" were the key words.

"Come on, Junie…you gotta eat. You look as pale as death." Jeff grabbed one of the buttermilk biscuits and held it to June's mouth, pressing it against her lips. The dark-haired woman paused for a moment, before hunger finally got the better of her. Opening her mouth slightly, she bit down on the bread, chewed off a small piece, and swallowed. Then, she smiled.

"Mmm. It's good…" She began to eat at a faster pace, biting off and swallowing larger portions of biscuit in the span of only a few seconds.

"Here, have a drink." John handed June a glass of soda, which she gratefully accepted. "Get your strength back up, okay? You're making us all worry, damn it."

"And eat these goddamn chicken legs," Randy added, some of his old arrogance finally returning to his voice as he pushed the bucket of chicken wings right under her nose. "Food costs money, you know. I expect this bucket to be clean by the end of the day."

While Jeff and John shot warning glares at the Legend Killer, June only responded with a half-hollow laugh. "Thanks, Randy…I'll be sure to remember that." And with that, she began to devour the chicken with ferocious gusto, eating as if she had never seen food before in her life.

As she ate, John reached over and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Junie?"

"Hmm?"

"We figured out that since Todd's…you know…you'd have to close some bank accounts and do some death-related administrative tasks."

June paused in her eating for a moment, her eyes watering, before she resumed eating at an even faster pace than before.

"Let us take care of those things for you, okay?" Randy said quietly, pouring the obviously distraught woman another glass of soda. "You're in enough shit as it is—you don't need to handle stupid paperwork on top of everything else."

The dark-haired woman coughed, swallowed, and wiped her lips with a nearby napkin. "I should do it," she murmured. "You guys are busy with other things, aren't you?"

"It ain't no problem at all, Junie," Jeff replied, giving June a small smile. "In fact, tomorrow, we'll clean out his office for you. Besides, you should relax. You gotta worry about taking care of your baby."

"The…baby?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh. Okay." _Yes_, she decided privately, taking a bite out of her chicken leg. _If I can't pour my love to Todd, then I'll pour it all onto my baby. It's all I can do now. It's all I'm good for._

* * *

"You got the last box, Hardy?"

"Cena, stop hounding me. I told you fifteen times that I do."

"Just checking…watch the door!"

John and Jeff placed the boxes on the floor of their apartment, right next to the half-assembled crib and unpainted rocking horse that Randy had brought in earlier.

Upon coming into Todd's office, they had been surprised. Todd's workspace was usually neat and clean, but the new addition of the rocking horse in the corner and the crib sitting quietly near the door had startled the three men. They had never imagined that Todd had gone to such great lengths to welcome his unborn child into the world, and for a good ten minutes they had stared at the two commodities speechlessly, wondering what to do.

In the end, they had decided to secretly bring everything back home with them, knowing that if June were to see the unfinished works, she would break down even worse than before.

They plopped down on their couch a second later, staring silently at the rocking horse.

It was a long while before anyone spoke.

"Fuck." Randy reached out and touched the wooden horse with a trembling hand. "This is messed up."

Jeff sighed and covered his eyes with one hand. "I know, man. I know."

"I mean, what the fuck did he have to go and die for? And why did he fucking _make _a goddamn rocking horse? He could have asked us to buy one if he wanted this shit so bad."

"It's supposed to be sentimetal, Orton," Cena snapped, although his voice quivered from the effort. He too, was touching the rocking horse, and looked as if he wanted to cry just from the contact.

"We can't even give this shit to Junie, man," Randy went on, his hand gripping tightly at the horse's handlebars. "She's in a worse state than all of us. She's gonna lose it if she sees this now, and I don't want that…"

"Fuck." Jeff stood up and went over to one of the boxes, rummaging through its contents. Passing over a pad of paper, some dried-out pens, and some old news reports, Jeff came across a framed photograph. Looking at it, the rainbow-haired artist realized that it was a picture of the five of them from when they were still in high school. "Hey guys! Look at this!"

"What?" Randy and John came over, and their eyes widened when they saw themselves, June, and Todd all huddled together as they posed for a group picture. "Shit, man!" John laughed, pointing to Todd, who was smiling awkwardly as June wrapped her arms around him. "Look at how dorky he used to look!"

"What do you mean, 'used to'?" Randy said, grinning wickedly. "He was still a scrawny runt even when we all grew up. _I_, on the other hand, look as immaculate as ever." The Legend Killer smirked when he saw his teenaged self poised in the center, his arms in the air, showing off his then developing muscles.

Jeff snorted, while John threw a disgusted look in Randy's direction. "Homie," the young detective said flatly, "the only thing posing did was to make you look even gayer than you do now. And that's saying _a lot_."

"EXCUSE ME, CENA? You want a mouth full of fist?"

"You want an ass full of foot, Orton?"

"He's got a point, Orton," Jeff interrupted, a smile making its way through his handsome features as John and Randy attempted to stare one another down. "Even that apple-biting transfer student, Carlito, wondered why you posed like that in pictures. That gay rumor about you was pretty rampant for a while…"

"It seems," Randy snarled, "that you two are begging for an ass whooping from me. "Well, come and get it, you jerks!"

"Now how can I refuse an offer like that?" John replied sarcastically, cracking his knuckles in a threatening manner. "I've been waiting for the day to kick your flat behind, Orton. TO THE DEATH! Ow! Get the fuck off me, man!"

Jeff rolled his eyes, and went back to rummaging through Todd's box. "When you two are done playing, kids," he said mockingly, as Randy attempted to get John in a side headlock, "you can come over here and help me look through Todd's stuff. I wanna make sure that we don't send nothing to Junie that'll make her all upset. Hey…"

The rainbow-haired artist pulled out a small CD, one that was entitled, _To Junie and Jamie. I love you!_ Looking it over, he made a quick motion to Randy and John, the latter currently being suffocated to death by the former as he desperately struggled to get out of the headlock.

"Tap, Cena!" Randy yelled, smirking wickedly as John's face slowly turned purple. "Admit your inferiority to the Legend Killer, the greatest human being ever created in the history of…EVER!"

"Hey Orton, Cena! Stop killing each other for a second and come over here!"

"What?" Randy dropped John, who gasped like a fish out of water as he tried to breathe air back into his lungs. "What is it, Hardy?"

"Check this out, man." Jeff held the CD up in the light, sparking the curiosity of Randy and the now fully conscious John. "What'cha think about this? Should we look this over before we hand it to Junie?"

"S-should we?" John panted, glaring angrily at Randy as he rubbed his neck. "I mean, what if Todd said some really private things in there? He could have said something about his sex life to the part for Junie. Could have mentioned her favorite sex positions and all."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Shit, I wanna hear that."

"Me too."

"You guys are sick," Randy grumbled, but it was noted that such information didn't stop him from snatching the CD from Jeff and sliding the disk into his DVD player.

Turning on the TV, the three men stared at the screen as Todd stood nervously in front of the camera, grinning as the bespectacled man cleared his throat and smoothed out his hair. "_Hi, Junie,_" TV Todd said cheerfully, though his voice trembled slightly from the excitement. "_And Jamie, hi! I'm your daddy! I'm the big goof who's always next to mommy."_

"Goof is right," Jeff whispered, which caused the other men to snicker good-naturedly.

"_Anyway, Junie! As you can see, I'm working on the baby's rocking chair! I'll be done soon before the Jamie's born, okay sweetie? I just gotta get the right paint color, though. I mean, I want to paint it pink, but I __**know**__ you want a more neutral color…_"

"Pink?" Randy repeated in disbelief. "Is he serious?"

"_Now Jamie,_" Todd said seriously, "_You have to listen to whatever your mommy says, okay? She's the most wonderful person in the world, and she knows what's best for you._"

"Amen to that," John murmured quietly, his eyes becoming misty.

"_Oh, and Jamie! There are three men who you've got to respect, because they are mommy and daddy's best friends. They are your uncles Randy, Jeff, and John. Heck, you probably see them more than you do me, so consider them to sort of be your daddies too, okay? Now…_" Todd blushed, and looked down. "_Daddy really respects Randy, Jeff, and John, you know? They're much stronger than I can ever be, and I hope that if you're a boy, you take after their best qualities._"

"Eh?" Jeff raised a curious brow. "What the hell is he babbling about?"

"_Jamie…I have to tell you something. You really owe your uncles a lot. They gave your daddy the courage to have you with mommy, and…well, before you were conceived, they each gave daddy a very special 'present' that allowed daddy to have you with mommy. I don't know which one of their presents I actually used, but since I mixed it all together…well, I'll explain it to you when you're a little older._"

At this point, the smiles on Randy, Jeff, and John's faces were slowly melting away, replaced with looks of absolute terror and realization.

"_Real friendships are hard to come by. I hope you can make friends that love you as much as I love my best friends. So trust your uncles, respect them, and love them, even if they are a little crazy, okay?_" With that, the screen blacked out, signaling the end of the CD.

Even though they had been complimented at the end, the faces of all three men were pale, white, and horrified beyond belief. After several minutes of staring at the television screen in mute shock, Randy and Jeff suddenly shot to their feet and began to scream their heads off.

"TODD, YOU JACKASS!" Randy shrieked, running over to the television and shaking it in fury. "WHO THE FUCK GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO USE MY FUCKING SPERM?"

"TODD, HOW COULD YOU?" Jeff cried, nearly tearing his hair out as he began to pace back and forth furiously throughout their apartment. "SHIT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE?"

Throughout all this, John stared dumbly at the screen. "So…wait a minute," he said stupidly. "Does that…does that mean that one of us is the father of Junie's baby?"

"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!" Randy roared, reaching over to slap John upside the head. "THAT BASTARD JUST SCREWED US ALL OVER! GRISHAM, IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY DEAD, I'D KILL YOU!"

"R-really?" The full seriousness of the situation finally sunk into John's head, and a look of panic set in his face. "SHIT! Todd, you JERK!"

"Todd, you son-of-a-bitch!" Jeff wailed.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?"

* * *

**A/N: Because my university classes are beginning tomorrow, I will not be able to update as often as I usually do. By my guess, updates will now be once a week. Sorry about that.**

**I hope you're all enjoying the story, so far. And as for 101mizzpoet101's question of paternity…well, there's a new poll on my profile! Who do you think the daddy is? **

**Again, I hope you're all enjoying the story.**


	6. Selfish Actions, Innocent Victims

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Alright! Since the workload this week is light, I have time to write another chapter!

**Six: Selfish Actions, Innocent Victims**

_Can I ask you guys something? Do people sometimes make selfish decisions, even when they know that it'll hurt the people around them?_

_Mommy once told me that most men have a hard time living their life unselfishly. She says that this wasn't the case with the wimp, but when it comes to my daddies, they're a mess! Daddy Randy can never choose between other people and money, Daddy Jeff sometimes chooses to do bad things called "drugs," and Daddy John is just plain silly at times. _

_Mommy always tries to help them, and sometimes they let her, but other times they don't. When they don't let her help them, mommy gets all sad. Mommy told me that taking care of Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John is like having three extra, stubborn little babies, which I think is silly because my daddies aren't babies! _

_Still…I think that women have a tough time living their life too. But for mommy, it's harder bacause she never gets a chance to be selfish. Can you imagine how hard it must be for mommy to care about me and my daddies, when we sometimes go off and give her a hard time? I won't lie—I make selfish decisions sometimes, and when I do, I KNOW that I'm hurting the people around me, and that includes my mommy. During those moments, I don't care that I'm hurting her, as long as I get what I want in the end._

_It makes me wonder if my daddies ever did anything selfish to hurt mommy._

* * *

After ranting and raving and tearing up several pieces of furniture in the household, the three men plopped onto the couch in exhaustion, too tired and worn out to physically express their anger any more.

The situation was too bleak to contemplate, so they didn't. They just took the moment to stare at the ceiling in silence.

After a while, Jeff finally spoke. "So. One of us is gonna be a daddy."

"I knew it," Randy hissed, trying not to lose his temper again as he strenuously massaged his throbbing temples. "I knew something was fishy, the way Todd's in-vitro crap suddenly worked a few days after we gave him our sperm. That little fucker! I don't want to be a father!"

"I don't believe it," John whispered, his eyes taking on a soft, glazed look. "Junie's pregnant with my baby. She's carrying my child…"

Randy threw John a questioning (and somewhat jealous) glance. "Who the fuck says that the baby's yours? Todd didn't name any names in that stupid video of his."

"It's obvious that I'm the dad, man! Whose sperm do you think has the best chance of making it with Junie? I mean, come on! Out of all of us, who does she get along the best with?"

"Me," Jeff said dryly, ignoring John's suddenly infuriated look. "But never mind that. The real problem is, what are we gonna do now? And what the heck should we tell Junie?"

The Legend Killer snorted. "What the fuck do you think we're gonna tell her? We're gonna tell her the truth, and make her abort that baby!"

"Are you insane?" John cried, staring at Randy in disbelief. "We can't do that, Orton!"

"And why not, Cena? Grisham used our goddamn sperm _without _our permission. If he hadn't been my friend, I would have sued his ass all the way to the South Pole! Junie might be innocent in all this, but the bottom line is…she can't have that baby!"

John growled, and glared at Randy menacingly. "Don't you fucking dare, Orton. The kid's already reaching seven months. If that baby's mine and you hurt it or Junie in any way, I swear I will send you to hell myself!"

"Guys, guys, guys!" Jeff pulled John away from Randy and situated himself between the two men. "Jesus, would you two just shut your pieholes? Look, we don't have to tell Junie nothing! She thinks it's Todd's baby, right?"

Randy and John exchanged uncomfortable looks, before they slowly nodded.

"Well, then I say we let her keep thinking it's Todd's. I mean, what she don't know ain't gonna hurt her, right?"

"…"

"…"

Randy gave Jeff a deadpanned look. "Hardy," he said flatly, "that's gotta be one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard. What if the kid comes out looking like one of us? What then?"

"…huh. I don't know." The rainbow-haired artist looked away, his face full of confusion and uncertainty. "I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But I agree with you on one thing, Orton." Jeff stared at the unpainted rocking horse, and shook his head sadly. "I ain't ready to be a daddy. She can't keep the baby."

"And that's why we have to tell her the truth!" Randy exploded, fisting his hair in his hands in exasperation. "She's gonna find out eventually, so we should just tell her now and get rid of the problem at the root!"

"I can't believe you two!" John gave Jeff and Randy looks of disgust. "You guys are unbelievable. What about Junie's feelings? You saw how she was after the funeral—she was barely able to sustain herself! Telling her _this_…it's gonna kill her!"

"We've got to tell her anyway!" Randy insisted stubbornly. "We'll tell her about the sperm, and we'll tell her that we want nothing to do with the kid. And then she can decide what she wants to do with the brat on her own."

"You…you selfish son-of-a-bitch." John scooted away from Randy in repulsion, as if the Legend Killer was a mangy, disease-ridden dog instead of a human being. "I can't believe I actually called you my friend. Was I high when I decided to be pals with you?"

Randy snorted, and leaned back in his seat. "You didn't seem to complain about me being your friend when I took care of your part of the rent last month."

"Well, that was then and this is now! But hey…you know what?" John suddenly perked up, a grim smile spreading across his lips. "You're absolutely right. We _should_ tell Junie."

"Pardon me?" Jeff raised a brow. It wasn't like John to just suddenly change his mind in the span of two minutes; especially when the argument in question involved June Grisham. "Am I hearing you right, Cena? Did I just hear you agree with us on telling Junie about the whole pregnancy issue?"

"Yup. I completely agree with you guys." John nodded his head solemnly. "We should tell Junie everything. And then, after that, then I'm going to tell her that I'm most likely the father, and that I'm fully prepared to take on all fatherly duties."

_Oh god. _"I knew it," Jeff groaned, rolling his eyes.

"That's right, Hardy. Unlike you and that selfish asshole Randy over there—"

"HEY!" Randy yelled, offended.

"—I'm gonna be there for Junie and the baby," John went on, completely ignoring the fuming Legend Killer beside him. "I'm gonna tell her that I'll support her, and that I'll love the baby with every bit of love a man can give without looking ass-whipped."

"Have you lost your fucking mind, Cena?" Randy yelled, wasting no time in slapping the young detective upside the head. "You don't even know if that brat growing inside her belly belongs to _you_!"

"We can get a paternity test!" John retorted. "That'll clear things up, won't it?"

"And what if it ain't yours?" Jeff cut in, crossing his arms over his chest. "What if the kid ain't yours, Cena? Besides, Junie is going to freak if we ask her for a paternity test. The last thing I want is for her to have another nervous breakdown!"

"Same here," Randy agreed, which earned him a surprised look from Jeff and John. "Oh, don't look at me like that," the Legend Killer snapped in frustration. "It's not that I give a crap about Junie—it's just that if the test proves that Cena isn't the father, then the field is gonna narrow down to me and Hardy, and I sure as hell don't want that."

"Selfish reasons," John spat in disgust. "I should have known…"

"This isn't getting us anywhere," Randy muttered. Turning to Jeff, he snapped his fingers in the air, and said loudly, "Hardy! Go over to Junie's place right now, and tell her the truth. Get it done as quickly as possible, okay?"

"E-excuse me?" The rainbow-haired artist blinked at Randy in confusion. "Why the hell do I have to tell her, man? I ain't your fucking slave! You tell her!"

"She hates me!" Randy retorted. "She likes _you_, at least!"

"Yeah, she likes me. And I kinda want it to stay that way, Orton!"

"I already said that I would go," John complained, only to be shut down by glares from Randy and Jeff.

"Shut your damn mouth, Cena!" the two yelled simultaneously, causing John to scurry back a good five feet. "Fucking idiot," Jeff grumbled, before he picked up the CD and turned it over in his hands. "Damn it. If only we could get Junie to understand the situation without making ourselves look like total jackasses. But how do we explain a situation like _this_? It ain't like none of us slept with her."

"I don't know," Randy muttered. He stared at the floor, and clenched his jaw. "Todd, you fucking faggot…how could you do this to us?"

"I KNOW!" John suddenly looked up and snatched the CD from Jeff's hand. "We can show Junie the CD!"

"What?" Both Jeff and Randy gave John curious looks. "Explain yourself, Cena," Randy said flatly.

"Well, we figured things out from the CD, right?"

"Yeah," Jeff agreed slowly.

"Well, if we just show her Todd's video message, then she'll get the gist of the whole situation, and we won't have to explain a thing to her!"

"…"

"…'"

"John…" Randy broke out into a huge smile, and clapped the young detective on the back. "Man, I always thought you were an idiot, but now…you're a fucking genius!"

"Thanks…hey, wait a minute…!"

* * *

"_Jamie…I have to tell you something. You really owe your uncles a lot. They gave your daddy the courage to have you with mommy, and…_"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

June wailed as she grabbed another tissue from the near empty box, dabbing at her eyes and blowing into it loudly as she stared at the image of her beloved Todd on screen.

"Oh, TODD!" she cried, clutching the soggy tissue to her breast. "You loved me so much that you went and made a _video_ for our baby? You were too good for me! Oh, sweetie, I miss you so much! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

She was crying so loudly that she completely drowned out Todd's thinly veiled admission of the use of Randy, Jeff, and John's "presents." And at any rate, even if she _had_ heard it, on second hearing, the three men realized that Todd's wording was far too vague for a person to understand if they didn't already know the situation. Knowing June, she'd probably assume that the presents were coupons to a Waffle House, or something of that sort.

"_Real friendships are hard to come by. I hope you can make friends that love you as much as I love my best friends. So trust your uncles, respect them, and love them, even if they are a little crazy, okay?_"

"Oh, TODD!" June reached for another tissue, sobbing as she nosily blew her nose. Unable to take anymore of June's suffering, John grabbed the remote and turned the DVD player off, glaring angrily at the very uncomfortable looking Jeff and Randy who were sitting beside him.

"You see what you guys did?" John hissed as he punched Randy rather painfully in the shoulder. "Why the hell did you say to bring the CD for? Now Junie's crying, and it's all your fault!"

"My—MY FAULT? It was _your_ fucking idea to bring this shit, jackass!" Randy yelled, giving the young detective a rough shove of his own.

"G-guys," June whimpered, wiping the tears from her red and puffy eyes. "Please don't fight. I-I appreciate you bringing the CD, I really do…"

Jeff sighed, and placed a comforting hand on June's frail shoulders. "Junie…"

The dark-haired woman sniffed. "Yes, Jeff?"

"You know we feel for you. And you know we're hurting too, don't you?"

"Yes, Jeff."

"Well…as a friend, this shit's gotta be said." The rainbow-haired artist then turned to Randy, and slapped a hand on the Legend Killer's back. "Go on, Orton. Tell Junie what'cha gotta tell her."

"WHAT?" Randy's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. "What the hell, man?"

"What is it, Randy?" June asked, wiping her red nose with a new piece of tissue. "Do you have something to tell me?"

"Um…well…" Under June's teary-eyed stare, the Legend Killer suddenly found himself very, very uncomfortable. Coughing nervously, he turned his gaze to the side and tried his hardest not to look into the dark-haired woman's brown eyes. "Well Junie…with Todd gone and all…"

"Yes?"

"We were thinking that…you know…maybe having a kid right now isn't such a good idea."

Silence.

For a moment, June said nothing—instead, the saddened gaze on her face slowly morphed into a cold, hard, twisted look of anger, and all three men found themselves backing away from the smaller, normally docile woman. "Could you…could you repeat that?" June asked slowly, standing up as she slowly advanced on Randy, who looked as if he was about to shrivel up and die under her furious gaze. "Just what are you insinuating that I do with my precious child, Randy?"

"It ain't what it sounds like, girl!" Jeff cut in quickly. "What he means is that, well, raising a kid's gonna be hard by yourself! It's hard out there for single parents, and—"

"SO WHAT?" June yelled, baring her teeth as Jeff and Randy cowered in fear. "Are you telling me to get an abortion _now_? When the baby's just two months away from being born?"

"No, no!" Jeff pleaded, attempting to do some damage control. "It ain't like that at all!"

"You know how hard it was for me and Todd to have Jamie! This is the last bit of Todd I have left! How could you ask me to—to KILL something that is a part of me and my hubby?"

"No, no, no!" Randy reached for June, only to have his hand slapped violently away. "Ow…"

"Don't _touch _me, you brutes! You're all baby haters, the lot of you! Oh, what if Jamie's listening to you right now? The poor thing might have heard all of that!" June sobbed and hugged her large, round stomach, as if she could prevent the words from echoing throughout her womb. "Oh, Jamie! Nothing's going to harm you, I promise!"

"Junie…" In desperation, Jeff and Randy looked towards John, who had silently been shaking his head at them in disapproval all this time. "Cena, say something! Make her see sense!"

The young detective raised an amused brow. Now they wanted him to talk, after telling him countless times not to say a word to June? Well, he'll _talk_ alright… "Junie," he said in a serious tone, "I completely agree with what you've said."

The dark-haired woman looked up, her eyes wide with surprise and gratitude. "Really, John? Do you really, truly mean that?"

"Yes indeed, ma'am." John smiled, taking no note of Randy and Jeff glaring furiously in his direction. "Killing the kid is absolutely out of the question! And Junie…" John then fell to his knees, scooted over to where June was sitting, and took both of her small hands into his larger ones. "I'm gonna help you raise this kid. I'll help you with babysitting, the cost of food, you name it, I'll do it. I'll raise the baby as if it were my own, so you don't have to worry about anything, okay?"

June blinked, before she smiled uneasily and pulled her hands out of John's grasp. "Um…John…you don't have to go _that_ far. Besides, I'm not that much of a weakling. I lived by myself for a long time before I married Todd. And anyway, I don't want to burden you with my family troubles."

"No, no!" John waved a hand in the air despite Randy and Jeff's attempts to shut him up. "I _want_ to help you, Junie."

"You three have done enough for me as it is," June chided gently, giving John a small smile. "And I appreciate everything you guys have done, but really…I don't want you to spend a dime on me, okay?"

"But Junie!" John protested.

"I mean it, John! No more talking about this! Jamie is Todd's last present to me." June ran a hand over her stomach, and gazed down at the unborn baby sadly. "This baby is a part of both of us, and I have to be strong, if only for Jamie's sake. I have to!"

The three men exchanged nervous glances, but they said nothing more. June wasn't in a talking mood, and woe betides the fool who tried to argue with her when she ever became truly angry.

* * *

The three men trudged back into their apartment, looking defeated (if you were John), disgruntled (if you were Randy), and distressed (if you were Jeff).

"Well, that went well," John muttered sarcastically.

"You know, it wouldn't have gone so badly if you hadn't opened your fat fucking mouth," Randy snarled. "What the hell, man? Offering to raise Junie's kid? Have your brain cells died from all those headlocks I put you in? Because if that's the reason, then I'll stop doing that. Seriously."

"Shut up, Orton," Jeff snapped, running a hand through his multi-colored locks. "The thing is, what are we going to do now? Should we just ignore it and pretend it's Todd's kid?"

John turned to Jeff in anger. "We can't just do that, man! That baby could belong to any one of us!"

"That doesn't mean it's necessarily mine!" Randy retorted. "Shoot, I bet it ain't even mine at all. I don't want it anyway—do you two know how much a baby fucking costs in this day and age? With the recession going on, it'll burn a fucking hole in my wallet!"

"I agree," Jeff muttered, which earned him a surprised look from John.

Normally Jeff was the more even-headed out of the three, and this act of selfishness was shocking to the young detective. "Come on, Hardy…"

"No, you listen to me, Cena. I like things the way they are. Having a kid…it's gonna change everything, and I ain't ready for no change."

"But what about Junie?" John pleaded, looking at the others in desperation. "Can't we at least pretend it's Todd's and help Junie out? She can't go through all this alone!"

Randy snorted, and glared darkly at the ground. "If she needs our fucking help, she can come and beg for it. And you want to help her so much," the Legend Killer sneered to John, "then go right on ahead, Cena. I don't give a fuck."

"Damn it Orton!" the young detective roared. "And you have the balls to call yourself a _man_?"

"Yes, Cena," Randy replied calmly. "I'm a man who's going to seduce Samantha Speno, and gain access to Hunter and Vince's empires. I'm a man who's not STUPID like the rest of you. I ain't gonna marry for love. I'm gonna marry to succeed."

Throughout all this, John stared at the Legend Killer in astonishment. "Are you…are you even listening to yourself right now?"

"…fuck off. I'm going to bed." With that, Randy headed off to his room, leaving a furious John Cena in his wake.

"Orton, come back! Don't you fucking walk away—I'm not finished yet!"

"Keep your fucking voice down, Cena. The neighbors are sleeping."

"FUCK THE NEIGHBORS!"

Randy slammed the door to his room shut, locking it from within. John growled and made a movement to break the door down, before Jeff suddenly spoke.

"I'm heading in too," the rainbow-haired artist said quietly, avoiding eye contact with the obviously enraged detective. "Look man, it's late. I'm tired, and you should get some sleep too. Calm down and all."

"But Jeff!"

"But nothing! It's been a fucked up week for all of us, and yelling at each other ain't gonna solve nothing."

"But Junie…!"

"We'll deal with her later, okay? Just…just get some sleep." Jeff patted John on the shoulder, before he turned and disappeared into his art-filled bedroom, stepping over some paintings before he shut the door quietly behind him.

John stared after Jeff and Randy, disappointment slowly settling in place of anger. Staring up at the ceiling, he sighed and shut his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Todd. I guess we can't take care of Junie after all."

* * *

…

_Mommy, I'm scared._

_What's going on? Whenever you're scared, then I feel scared too. Is something bad happening?_

_Where are Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John?_

* * *

Several mornings later, June slowly sipped at a cup of hot coffee as she looked over her bank book.

Something was odd about her and Todd's joint account. She had gone to the bank several days ago to make a withdrawal, and had learned that out of the five thousand dollars that she and Todd had saved; about three thousand of it was missing. What more, the withdrawal was very recent, on the same day that Todd—

No, she wouldn't think about that. She promised herself that she wouldn't think about that.

Still…it was mind boggling. Why would Todd have withdrawn several thousand dollars in one day? What on earth could he have used it for? Had he been in trouble of some sort?

Placing her coffee mug back onto its saucer, she was about to get up and make herself a bit of toast when a loud, hurried series of knocks suddenly came upon the door.

"Toddie?" came the voice of a loud, gruff man. June froze. She knew that voice… "Toddie! June! Open up, please!"

_Dad..._

She pause torn between wanting to tell her father to shove off and welcoming him back because...because she had somewhat missed him over the years. Decisions, decisions…however, after another, more desperate series of knocks, she quickly overcame her dislike for her father (momentarily, anyway) and opened the door, yelping when the old man shoved past her and locked the door shut behind him.

"Dad! What on earth are you doing here?" Slowly picking herself off the floor, she carefully waddled towards her father, unconsciously keeping a hand over her round belly. Barnett looked down at his daughter, and his eyes widened when he saw her pregnant stomach.

"So it was true…" he whispered. Looking up at his daughter (who in turn looked _very _apprehensive), he choked back a sob, and turned away. "God, Junie…my baby's gonna have a baby…"

"What do you want?" June said coldly, her words coming out harsher than she intended. She felt a bit of guilt when she saw her father flinch, but she forced herself to remain strong. Or at least pretend to be strong, anyway. She couldn't be sentimental, not towards _him_.

"Can't a man come by and say hello to his own daughter?" Barnett said defensively.

"If that were true, you would have come by years ago. What...do...you...WANT?"

Barnett sighed, and hung his head. "I want to see your husband. It's sort of a life-or-death situation…"

"No."

"But sweetie!"

"I told you," June whispered in a soft, dangerous voice, "to leave me alone. I told you to stay away from me and my family. I'm not going to pay for your gambling debts anymore, and I'm not going to let you drag Todd into your messes either!"

"But Junie…" Barnett faltered off, before he scratched the back of his head nervously. "Oh, shoot. Toddie didn't tell you?"

June blinked. "Didn't tell me what, dad? What's going on?"

"Well…when he was in San Francisco—"

"He was in San Francisco with you?" June shrieked.

"Yes, girl! But when he was there, he promised that—"

Just then, there was a loud, furious pounding on the door, with several burly men roaring loudly, "BARNETT! We know you're in there! OPEN UP!"

"Shit!" The old man looked around the apartment, before he dashed towards the window that led to the fire escape. Looking back to the confused and terrified June, he whispered harshly, "I was never here, okay? Tell them that you don't know anything, and you'll be safe!"

"SAFE?" June stared at the pounding door, then at her father, and back at the door again. "Dad, I don't know what you're talking about—"

_CRASH!_

The door to the apartment finally burst down, and Barnett was gone, racing down the fire escape with every bit of strength that his fifty-some-odd legs could muster up.

And June was left alone, pregnant, and frightened as five burly-looking men and women entered the room, looking around the living quarters with a sort of contempt on their faces. The smallest and least burly of the men stopped in front of her and looked her over, sneering as he gave her an up-and-down stare.

"Mr. Santino, sir," one of the burly men said quietly. "Barnett ain't here."

"That's okay, boys," the man called Santino said, his voice coated with a heavy, phony-sounding Italian accent. Giving the terrified June a smirk, he said softly, "I think we just had a change in plans."

_Oh my god…_

* * *

**Current Poll Standings (Polls are still open): **

**Randy**** - People think that Randy is the most likely father of June's baby. I neither agree with nor condemn this opinion. **

**John and Jeff**** - One person thinks that John is the father, and one person thinks that Jeff is the father. I neither agree with nor condemn those opinions. **

**Other**** -Two people think that the baby is a genetic mix of all three. I neither agree with nor condemn this opinion, although I will add that such a feat is biologically impossible. What's my opinion, you ask? I have none. HA!**

**Read and review, and thanks in advance!**


	7. Debts to Be Erased

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Warning: There is violence early into the chapter.

I have nothing against Santino, Beth, and Melina. I'm sure that outside their staged characters, they are nice people. But on screen, I really dislike the characters they play, thus I've written their roles to be antagonistic for this chapter.

**Seven: Debts to Be Erased**

_I'm not racist or sexist, but I have this…__**thing**__ against Italian men._

_I don't know why. I think my dislike came from when I was still inside mommy's tummy. My memory's a bit fuzzy, but I remember this one period when my mommy was in so much agony that it actually hurt me too. _

_I remember pain. It hurt so much…but I think mommy was hurting a lot more than me. Don't tell my daddies this, but I think she almost died. Good thing she didn't though, because if she died, I would have died too. I don't know what happened, though…mommy won't talk about it, and if my daddies know, they're not bringing it up._

_For reasons I'm not sure of, I kept thinking of an Italian man whenever I look at knives. _

_I think an Italian man is the reason why mommy was in so much misery and pain when I was in her tummy..._

_I wonder what my daddies were doing at that time. Why didn't they help her?_

* * *

In his own professional opinion, Santino Marella was not a bad man.

Granted, he had no _friends_ to speak of, but he had plenty of acquaintances. Some of these acquaintances would testify that he was a man who had a good head for his "business," if one had the stomach to call it that. Others would call him a fool, one who would end up in the bottom of the river despite all of his initial success. Still, there were other acquaintances that thought of him as a devious scoundrel, and would rather jump off a bridge than touch him with a fifty-foot-pole.

Unfortunately, those acquaintances often went missing after a short while.

"Do you a-know what this is, Mrs. Grisly-ham?" the Italian man said softly, slipping a sheet of paper into June's trembling hands. The dark-haired woman slowly shook her head, scared to death that if she moved too quickly, her entire body would fall apart at the joints.

"I'm not sure," June whispered, unintentionally crumpling the letter as her hands slowly clenched into two quivering fists. "I—I afraid that I don't know what's going on…"

Santino chuckled, and leaned back in his chair. "It's-a very simple, Mrs. Grisly-ham. Your father, Arnold Wilson Barnett, had borrowed much money from me a very long while ago to enable his-a, what you say…gambling habits."

June's eyes widened as her mouth fell open in sheer horror. It all made sense now. Her father had accrued a large debt _again_, and had left her alone to face the creditors, hoping that she would pay off his bills.

_Fucking bastard, how could you do this to me?_

"Unfortunately for him," Santino went on, "Mr. Barnett had-a no such luck in winning his money back, and now he is-a in debt with me. But, he has not been paying what he owes, and now I am forced to find his family to get my money back." Santino then leaned forward in his seat, and gave June a terrifying smile. "I have-a heard that your late husband was-a responsible for paying Mr. Barnett's bail in the prison place for sexually deprived criminals."

"T-Todd did what?" June stuttered, not knowing what the Italian man in front of her was talking about.

"Since you seem to have much money, Mrs. Grisly-ham, I kindly ask that you repay what your father owes me, which will-a total to about seven thousand American dollars. I prefer my payment up front, if you-a don't mind."

"Six thousand?" The dark-haired woman stared at Santino in astonishment. There was no way she could get that kind of money, not when she had no job and had less than two grand in the bank! "I-I don't have that kind of money on me! I'm unemployed, and my husband just _died_! I have no financial income at the moment!"

The tall, muscular blonde woman next to her laughed coldly, and June distantly recalled Mr. Marella calling her Beth Phoenix. June tried to avoid eye contact with her, but when Beth suddenly grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked it back, such a feat became impossible.

"You're just a little idiot, aren't you?" Beth sneered, tugging harder on the dark tresses despite June's pleas for her to let go. "Do you honestly expect us to believe that you knew nothing about what your father was going through? And living in a nice place like this…" The blonde looked around the large apartment in a sort of jealous contempt. "You think we're gonna believe that you don't have any fucking money?"

"I swear, I don't know anything that's been going on! I can't pay you, not now! Please, just let me go! OW!" June yelped when Beth threw her roughly to the floor, twisting her body at the last second so that she landed on her back, not on her stomach.

_Oh my god, are they going to kill me? I can't let them hurt my baby. I can't let them hurt my baby…!_

Beth dragged June to her feet by her blouse and tossed her against the kitchen counter. The dark-haired woman slammed against it, sliding down as a pained gasp escaped her lips.

June had always kept the kitchen impeccably clean, and all the utensils ready to use. On the counter, she had always kept a stack of kitchen knives, recently sharpened to a keen razor's edge. This was something the young woman soon came to regret doing, and June winced as one of the sharp blades bit into her side.

A flash of terror raced through her. What if the knife hit her baby? She wrenched herself away from the blade.

Unfortunately, another one of Santino's men, a particularly large brute called Umaga, misinterpreted her movement as one of retaliation. He bent down and caught the side of her head with his knee, and Beth took the opportunity to backhand June hard across the face.

She accidentally bit her tongue and the blood flowed from her mouth, spattering across the floor with the force of Beth's blow. Suddenly, she felt someone's arms slid around her before she could hit the floor again. She looked up through half-lidded, pain-ridden eyes and caught a glimpse of the smirking Santino. Then, without a word, he quickly swung her body around like a rag doll and threw her back onto the counter full of knives.

June twisted awkwardly, catching the blades in her flesh anyway possible, as long as it missed her belly and its precious inhabitant. She collapsed to the floor, curling up as she tried to block everything and everyone around her.

_This can't be happening. Things like this happen to bad people in the movies. They don't happen in real life…they can't. THEY CAN'T._

"Please…" she coughed, wheezing. Crimson was dribbling down her chin. This had to stop…she couldn't endanger her baby's life. "I'm pregnant! Please, just stop!"

But they wouldn't listen, and she couldn't fight back. The impacts would be jarring and hazardous to Jamie, and June knew that she had to take the blows. She had to make sure that it was herself, and not her baby, that felt the brunt of the creditors' rage.

She suddenly felt someone's hands encircled her throat like a vice. Her breath hitched once before her airway closed. Silent tears leaked unseen down her cheeks as she looked at the laughing face of a man called Snitsky. _I'm so sorry, Jamie. I'm not strong enough to protect you._ June's eyes closed slowly in defeat.

And then, just like that, the hands disappeared, and she was able to breathe again. June whimpered and curled into a terrified ball as Santino bent down, gently reaching out a hand to move some hair away from her bruised and bloody face.

"Now, Mrs. Grisly-ham," the Italian man spoke softly, "I hope that I got my message across."

June said nothing—she was in too much pain to speak.

"I will come back in three weeks for the money. If neither you nor you father has it, then…" Santino smiled, which sent an icy shiver up June's spine. "Well, we'll just-a have to have a repeat performance of today, won't we?"

The young woman shook her head desperately. _No…no more…_

She felt Santino poke cruelly at her stomach. "Congratulations, by the way. I hope your child comes out healthy and strong."

The entire group of creditors laughed at this joke, and they soon left the apartment without even taking a backwards glance at the beaten, pregnant woman who was withering on the floor in agony.

_My prince charming should be here soon,_ June thought dully. She wasn't sure, but through her pain-fogged brain, she could have sworn that she heard a phone ringing. _Where's my knight in shining armor? Someone, please help me…_

But no one came. She was all alone, and no one was coming to save her.

* * *

_Ring…ring…ring…_

John drummed his fingers against the surface of his desk, nervously counting the number of rings that went by unanswered. He had called June several times over the last half hour, but she wasn't picking up her phone.

Was she was alright? He hoped that she wasn't avoiding them on purpose. After their last visit, he had been plagued by guilt and terrible visions of her and the baby starving on the streets. He wanted to help her, even if Randy and Jeff wanted nothing to do with the child growing in her womb.

No, it wasn't _the_ child. It was quite possibly _his_ child.

_Ring…ring…ring…_

Why wasn't she picking up the fucking phone?

"So what do you want for lunch today, Cena?" Cody asked, writing down Bob Holly's order of sausage pizza. "I'm getting extra cheese, Holly wants sausage, and Austin wants green peppers and beer, even though I personally feel that drinking alcohol at noon is WAY too early!" As he said this, Cody glared disapprovingly at Steve, who merely flipped him off in response. "So? What do you want, John?"

"Pepperoni," John muttered as he hung up and redialed June's number. "Jesus, why won't she answer?"

Bob Holly raised a brow as he lowered the newspaper he had been reading. "Cena, you're still hung up on that Junie chick? I thought you'd be over her by now."

"Holly," John said quietly, "my feelings for Junie ain't none of your business, aight? Stay out of it, old man."

"HEY! Who the fuck do you think you're calling old? I ain't old!"

"Sure you are," Cody said cheerfully, patting his increasingly agitated partner on the back. "Holly, you said it yourself—you've been beating the bad guys to the ground even before I was swimming around in my daddy's polka dots. That's ancient, man! Not that there's anything wrong with being old, _sir_," Cody corrected hastily when Bob Holly threw a less-than-pleased glare in his direction. "You've got experience and tactics, and you got a better head for making plans to catch the harder criminals, and—"

"Rhodes."

"Yes, Mr. Holly sir?"

"Shut up and get our damn food."

"…yes, sir." With his head hung low, Cody dejectedly walked out of the police station, mumbling something about how rookies never got the respect that they deserved. After he left, Steve snorted and turned to Holly with an amused smile.

"You know, Bob," the chief detective commented lightly, "you should probably be a little nicer to the runt. He _is_ Dusty's kid after all, and he does look up to you for reasons even I can't understand."

"Fuck niceties," Bob Holly snapped, picking up his newspaper before he resumed his reading. "The little tenderfoot's gotta learn to toughen up. He's not gonna last in this job if he's still thinking soft-headed thoughts about ponies and Power Ranger action figures." The older detective then turned to John, who was still trying to call June. "Cena!"

"_What_?" John snapped, becoming irritated from his unsuccessful attempts. "What do you want, Holly?"

"Let me ask you something. When you were my partner, was I as tough on you as I was with young Cody back there?"

John hung up again, and redialed. "Uh-huh."

"And because of my toughness, you turned out okay, didn't ya?"

"Uh-huh. Whatever." John rolled his eyes as he listened to the continuous ringing on the other end of the phone. _Come on, Junie…please pick up… _Finally, after the thirty-seventh ring, he heard a small, whisper of a voice answer at the other end.

"H-hello?"

"Junie?" The young detective was a bit taken aback. It had been some time since he had last heard from June, but right now, she didn't sound normal. She was usually more perky and gleeful, but June's cheerfulness sounded strained, forced even. "Baby, what's the matter? Is everything okay?"

"E-everything's fine. John, I…I'm glad you called. I…I've been wanting to ask you something for a while." John suddenly heard a pained gasp at the other end, and he nearly bolted out of his seat in worry.

"Junie! What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Don't you lie to me, girl! Are you hurt? Are you having contractions or something?"

"No…" He heard June take a deep, shaky breath. "John, I just need to know…had Todd ever loaned you or Jeff or Randy three thousand dollars? Because I just checked my bank books, and it says that Todd withdrew three grand a short while ago."

"…what?" John blinked. "Junie, I don't know what you're talking about. Todd never loaned us three grand…although that would have been really cool."

"Oh. I see. Ouch!"

"Junie!"

"It's nothing, John. I just…um, I accidentally cut myself today with a kitchen knife, and it really hurts…"

John pulled the phone back from his ear, and stared at it in disbelief. Now, he wasn't necessarily the smartest man ever born, but he sure as hell wasn't stupid. He was a detective for a reason, and his ability to detect when people were lying was one of his strong points. But June had never lied to him before, so what was going on? "Junie, did something happen?"

"N-no!" Another lie. "John, I—I have to go."

"Junie, maybe I should come over."

"John, you don't have to. I'm busy, and I have to settle this bank problem."

"But Junie—"

"Bye, John."

Click. Dial tone.

* * *

June looked away from the phone in despair, trying not to cry.

She hadn't meant to be so curt with John, she really hadn't. But she couldn't let him come over now, not when she was stuck in a situation that could easily ruin his hard-earned reputation. She knew him—if he knew what sort of trouble she was in, he'd either offer to pay off the whole debt using _his_ money (which she would never allow him to do), or he would hunt down Santino and his gang, and beat him to a bloody pulp (which she also wouldn't allow him to do, no matter how much of a scoundrel Santino was).

John was a good man, and good men should never have to get involved in messes like hers.

She winced as she tried to bandage her sides. The knives had cut into her deeper than she thought, but she was grateful that her injuries had been inflicted far away from Jamie. The damages weren't as terrible as she had expected. No tendons or deep muscles had been cut. The pale, white skin on her back and sides were riddled with black bruises and ugly red stab wounds, and her face had definitely seen better days, but her stomach was flawless.

Jamie was perfectly unharmed. For that alone, she was happy.

The bandages were already starting to stain a deep red. A small part of her brain told her that stitches were needed, but she didn't want to go to the hospital. She knew that the doctors would question how she got the stab wounds, and she didn't think they would buy the excuse that she "fell and had an accident." They would most certainly alert the police, and then John would find out, along with Jeff and Randy.

She couldn't burden them with her troubles. They had done enough for her as it was. Throwing away the used ointments and bandage scraps, she went to the living room and picked up the wanted ads, looking over a few possible jobs she had circled earlier.

Her old position of working as a medical assistant in a private doctor's office had been filled long ago, so she needed to find another job, and quick. But _finding_ a job was one matter—actually _securing_ the position was another one entirely. And she had a sinking feeling that not many companies would want to hire a seven-month-pregnant woman, no matter what the circumstance.

* * *

In his apartment, John gave Randy a worried stare. "So Orton…what do you think Todd was doing with all that money?"

The Legend Killer shrugged, and returned his attention to the porn movie that was playing on TV. "I don't know, Cena, and I don't really give a fuck. Maybe he was having a little vacation time with his mistress."

Jeff, who was currently painting in his room, let out a snort of disgust. "That's sick, man! Todd would never do that to Junie!"

"Was I talking to you, Hardy?" Randy snapped, his tone annoyed and agitated as he watched the dark-haired woman take the man's length in her mouth. Completely ignoring the fact that John was right next to him, Randy started to stroke himself underneath his boxers, his eyes never leaving the woman as he began to breathe deeply.

"Yo man, can you go and do that in your fucking room?" John spat, looking away as Randy continued to jerk himself off. "How am I supposed to masturbate if you're going to do it at the same time, right next to me? It's killing my mood, man."

"I'm not…stopping you…" Randy panted, his eyes glued to the woman on the television screen.

"Fuck this." John stood up and walked over to the DVD player, grabbing the machine and yanking the entire player out by the cord. The television suddenly went blank, and Randy stopped mid-jerk, his eyes wide with shock and rage.

"CENA, YOU FAGGOT! You fucking fix that shit right NOW! They were fucking getting to the good part!"

"I'm trying to talk to you about Junie, and you're jacking off to some whore on screen! And it's always the same slut too, now that I think about it…what, are you obsessed with her or something?"

"Cena, I'm warning you…put that DVD back on _now_, or I'll fucking castrate you right here and now."

"…ouch." John winced and crossed his legs. "That shit sounds painful."

"No duh!"

"I guess I should fix it…"

"THANK YOU!"

"But…you'll have to make me do it." With that, Cena bolted off to his room and slammed the door, locking it just as Randy flew into a blood-red, boiling rage.

Jeff shook his head. Those two were the biggest idiots in the world at times.

He wondered why they weren't brothers.

* * *

_Sniff…sniff…_

_WAAAAAAAAAAH! Mommy, you went though all that, just to protect me? I didn't know! I swear, I'll never do anything bad again! Oh, mommy, I'm so sorry you had to suffer like that!_

_AND TO MY DADDIES! What on earth were you doing? You know, I bet all this happened because you guys didn't want to get involved with her life! You're all selfish! You know what? I hate you again! All of you!_

_Except for maybe Daddy John. He's trying to help a little bit, even if mommy won't let him. Oh, mommy…_

_But for the other two, you have no excuses! NONE!_

* * *

"So you're sure that Samantha's here?" Randy said quietly into his cell phone the next morning, trying to find his way through the art gallery without looking totally lost.

"Man, I'm sure of it," Edge said confidentially. "My sources do not lie, Orton. I can guarantee you that Sam's at that gallery with Stephanie as we speak."

"You know," Randy said dryly as he passed by several Renaissance paintings, "I remember you giving a similar promise to Mark Calaway about some phony baloney stocks about some retarded fruit. You almost ruined his company, man." He stared at the paintings in mild interest, staring into eyes that seemed to stare back.

"You see, Orton, the key word is 'almost'. Besides, he bounced back, didn't he?"

"Yeah. And now he's after your blood."

"Fuck off, Orton. I'll deal with Mark; you just make sure that your little 'meeting' with Sam goes well. Remember, she likes men who know a good piece of artwork when they see it, so pick out anything that looks cool, and say, 'WONDERFUL!' Got it?"

"Yeah. Wonderful. Whatever." Shutting off his phone, Randy sighed. Adam was an asshole at times in addition to being a downright snake, but there was no denying that the man definitely had good connections.

Suddenly, Randy stopped before a picture of a dark-haired girl who was trying to put on her stocking, and gazed at it in genuine interest. The girl was beautiful, naked, and heavily pregnant, with a round, full stomach that looked as if it was about to burst at any given second. Randy stepped closer to the painting, amazed and startled when he realized that the girl in the painting reminded him of June.

In the Legend Killer's opinion, June wasn't as big as the painting girl, and June's skin was much whiter and paler, but he had to wonder…in two months, would she look like that girl in the picture? Would she be sitting naked on her bed, struggling to get dressed? He tried to image the young, dark-haired woman, shivering from her nakedness as she reached around her stomach, her soft breasts heaving as she attempted to slip her small foot into the stocking…

He suddenly felt hot, and he turned away from the painting, feeling angry at himself for even thinking of the lower-class woman.

_Damn that bitch. Always making me lose my fucking cool…_

Just then, his eyes caught a glimpse of two brown-haired women near the sculptures. Both were pretty, both were dressed elegantly for the gallery, and both had an aura that _screamed_ high-class and good breeding. One was a woman who was known no matter where she went—she was the infamous Stephanie McMahon, daughter of Vince McMahon and the wife of Paul "Hunter" Levesque. But while Stephanie herself was pleasing to the eye, Randy was focused on the smaller woman next to her, a woman who wasn't quite as well known, but came from a high family and had some powerful connections of her own…connections that would lead Randy right into the inner circles of both Vince and Hunter.

"Just look at this one, Steph," Sam whispered, gazing at an angel statue in marvel. "It looks so real…like it's going to come to life at any second."

"I know, right?" Stephanie reached up to touch the angel on the cheek. "I can't believe that someone would have the skill to make something so beautiful. Damn, I wish my husband were here to see this…"

The women were only a few feet away from him, and Randy looked around desperately to find something interesting to comment about. A painting of an apple…no…a statue of a naked guy? HELL NO! His eyes landed on a bucket with a plunger inside that was sitting on top of a pedestal. That would work!

"That's WONDERFUL!" Randy said loudly, attracting the attention of everyone in the entire art gallery.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Sam watching him curiously, while Stephanie's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of him.

"Man, that's a WONDERFUL work of art right there!" he proclaimed, his voice progressively becoming louder until an elderly couple actually ran away from him in fright. Pointing to the bucket and plunger, he grinned. "I have to hand it to the artist. He's a real fucking genius. The bucket, and the way the plunger is positioned…it's just so WONDERFUL!"

And then, without another word, a janitor came up to the pedestal and picked up the bucket and plunger. "I forgot these," the man mumbled in embarrassment. "Sorry about that, sir." With that, the man scurried away, leaving a very embarrassed and humiliated Randy Orton in his wake.

For several minutes, there was complete silence in the art gallery. Then, the other spectators broke out in a roar of laughter, pointing fingers at the enraged young man who tried to leave the gallery with whatever dignity he had left.

As he made his way to the exit, Samantha Speno stared after him, still giggling as she gazed at his retreating form with a thoughtful look on her face.

* * *

June sat nervously in her chair, trying to drown out the sounds of the other ten people in the room.

Finally, after four long, miserable days of searching, she had found a job that would take her, a job that required her to sell children's books from door to door. Still, finding the job hadn't been easy—many of the jobs she applied for had immediately turned her down when she told them how far along she was in her pregnancy. After the first three failed interviews, she began to wear larger clothing in an attempt to hide her stomach, and if any questions about her belly were asked, she merely stated that she was fat.

After all, fat women got jobs too, didn't they?

She bent forward slightly in her seat, and began to massage her swollen calves. In addition to the beating she had received, the four days of simply _looking _for a job had taken a murderous toll on her legs. She honestly didn't want to be in this room right now. She wanted to go home and sink into a hot bubble bath. She wanted to let the scalding water burn away at her skin, let her blood run into the water until it turned the bath into a bubbly crimson.

Her stab wounds still hadn't healed yet, she hadn't eaten properly in days, and she was exhausted beyond belief. But she didn't give a damn about herself anymore. She had to work so that she could pay off her debt. If she couldn't live peacefully, she had to at least give Jamie a decent life.

"Here."

A cup of coffee was suddenly shoved under her nose, and June looked up into the dark eyes of a redheaded woman. June blinked, before she slowly took the cup from the redhead's hand. "Um, thank you…but you didn't have to do this."

"I know I didn't _have_ to, but I wanted to." The redhead took a seat beside her, and crossed her legs. "You looked like you needed it anyway, kiddo."

"Thanks again." June took a sip of coffee, shivering as the hot drink warmed her insides. She had been more malnourished than she thought…

"I'm Amy Dumas, by the way," the redhead continued. "But you can go ahead and call me Lita."

"L-Lita…?"

"It's a nickname." Lita waved a hand in the air in dismissal at June's confused look. "Don't ask me how I got it, kiddo. That story will take _years_ to get right."

"Oh. Okay." June took another drink of the coffee, before she gave Lita a smile. "I'm June Grisham."

"Grisham?" Lita's eyes lit up with interest. "You mean like Todd Grisham? The anchor guy from the channel 11 news? Shit...I heard he died in that car accident a while back. Were you his wife?"

June felt a pang of pain at the mention of Todd, but she forced herself to continue smiling. "Yeah. I was his wife."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Saying sorry won't change what happened to him."

"True." Lita sighed, before she gave June a curious stare. "What's up with your face, by the way?"

"W-what's wrong with my face?" June asked worriedly. Were some of her bruises showing? She had worked hard to cover them up with makeup; surely they weren't visible, were they?

"It's just that…well, you're wearing _so much_ foundation," Lita replied casually. "It doesn't suit you. You're more of a natural-look girl. Now, as for Candice Michelle over there—" Lita threw a glance at the ditzy, but very beautiful girl who was sitting just a few chairs away "—she needs all the help she can get, so her wearing a lot of makeup is _encouraged_. But for girls like you and me, kiddo? We're fine just the way god made us."

June smiled. "Well, you _are_ very pretty, Lita."

"Thanks. At least you have brains, unlike some of these other idiots. But…" The redhead frowned, and leaned in closer to June. "Seriously, kiddo. What are you doing in a place like this?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"This is a job that sells children's books from door to door. Now, I'm just here so that I have something to do in the mornings until me and my band finds a more permanent gig to play at night. But you…" Lita stared at June's stomach, and shook her head. "You're pregnant, for crying out loud! You shouldn't be applying for a job like this!"

"WHAT!" June shrieked in a blind panic. "I-I'm not pregnant! I'm just really fat around my middle!"

"Uh-huh." Lita gave the dark-haired woman a disbelieving look. "I've been pregnant too, kiddo, and I know what a fucking pregnant woman looks like. If you're just _fat_, then I'm the Queen of Darkness."

"Well, your majesty," June said quietly, "I can assure you that I am most certainly fat."

"Ladies and gentlemen!" A man suddenly stood in front of the room, and June could see several people behind him, carrying large stacks of children's books in his wake. "We will now distribute the books to you all equally! Please try and sell them all! Bonuses will be given to those who sell all of their books within the first week!"

"Oh goodie," June mumbled, reluctantly taking her heavy stack of books. She gasped and nearly fell over from the weight.

_DAMN! For a set of children's books, they're insanely heavy!_

She prayed that her legs wouldn't give out on her.

* * *

"WHOO! Jeff, go faster!"

"Trish, it's a red light…"

"GO FASTER!"

Jeff sighed as he revved up the motorcycle, causing Trish to squeal with delight behind him. Ever since he had participated in bondage sex that day with Trish in her apartment, the blonde woman seemed to have developed an even deeper obsession for him, which didn't bode well for any upcoming chances of him actually dating other women.

It wasn't personal. Trish was hot and all, but Jeff wasn't romantically interested in her. Sexually interested, yes, but not romantically because 1) she was already fucking married, and he was very uncomfortable with sneaking around on her husband whenever they had to fuck in _her _house, and 2) she simply wasn't the type of woman he pictured coming home to at the end of the day.

He wanted a good girl, a girl who would be there to comfort him during bad times, a girl who would keep him _away_ from drugs, instead of driving him towards them. Trish had been the reason he had lit up several joints in the past couple of days, and although Randy didn't particularly give a crap about his drug habits, John was starting to get really pissed off, him being a cop and all.

If he had the chance, Jeff would have married a girl like June. But they rarely made good girls like _her_ anymore…and anyway, June was pretty, but she was nowhere near as hot as Trish. Or Stacy. Or all those other girls…

As he waited for the light to change, Jeff caught a glimpse of a pregnant woman getting on a bus with a large, heavy-looking stack of books in hand. The rainbow-haired artist blinked—for a second, he could have sworn that the woman looked like June. But before he could get a better look, the woman disappeared into the bus, and Trish was yelling at him to start the motorcycle.

Jeff shook his head. It must have been his imagination. Why would June be walking around, carrying books when her legs were weaker than that of a newborn baby's?

* * *

The young man quickly pretended to fall asleep in his seat as June approached him, and she had no choice but to stand on her aching feet and legs as the bus drove slowly through the busy city.

_The times of chivalry is dead_, June thought bitterly to herself. _No one gives a crap about anyone, anymore. I could fall dead, and I doubt that the "sleeping" young man would even bat an eye. Fucking bastard._

In the past two hours, she had tried three houses, only three, but each had been unsuccessful. The first house was the worst—the man had slammed the door in her face before she could even get one word out. The second house had been home to an old woman, one who had held her hostage for the better part of an hour, forcing June to drink moldy old tea and listen to tales of the olden times. June, who had been too polite to simply leave, had tried to bear the old woman as much as she could, before finally taking the chance to escape when the old woman fell asleep for her daily nap.

The third house had been occupied by a woman with two young children. For a moment, June thought she had a chance there. The woman seemed genuinely interested as June explained the benefits of buying the books, and the two children had even started reading one of them when the woman's husband came home. The man took one look at her and, before June could even have a chance to explain herself, threw her out of the house, books and all.

In short, it had not been a very good day.

She got off the bus two stops later, deciding to go back to her apartment and try again another day. Her legs were swollen to the point where she thought they would burst through her stockings, and she wasn't sure, but she had a feeling that her bandages needed to be changed. Plus, she suddenly felt very dizzy…

June sighed, and sat down on a nearby bench. Slipping one foot out of her shoe, she lifted it up the best she could, rested it against her knee, and began to massage it. "Well, Jamie," she said softly to her round belly. "I guess mommy's not a good salesperson. I miss working as a medical assistant. It was a much quieter job."

She paused, as if she could hear what Jamie was saying to her.

"No, Jamie. Mommy's just tired, is all. I'm perfectly fine. You don't need to worry about me. I should be worrying about _you_." She closed her eyes, moaning as a sudden wave of nausea ran though her body. What was wrong with her…?

"Kiddo?"

The dark-haired woman looked up, and saw Lita coming her way. "Lita!" June greeted, a grin spreading through her tired facial features. "How are you doing so far?" June took note of Lita's stack of books, and was surprised to see that the redhead had sold almost all of them already.

"I'm doing great," Lita replied, smirking as she tossed her last book up and down in the air. "I made an offer to one guy that he just couldn't refuse, you know?" Lita then smacked her fist against her other hand, and June quickly got the point.

"Ah. Well, you've sold almost all of your stock, and in one day! You're a natural at this, Lita." _Even if you ARE a scary natural._

"Don't flatter me, kiddo. But thanks anyway." The redhead then glanced at June's own stack of books, which was as large as it had been since they had started. "Hey…should you really be lugging all that weight around?"

"I'm okay," June said softly, though at the moment, she felt anything _but_ okay. She made a move to stand, but then the world suddenly started spinning around her, and she suddenly couldn't feel her legs anymore…

"Are you sure? You look really pale—OH MY GOD!" Lita dropped her book and grabbed June just before she collapsed on the ground. "Kiddo! Wake up!" The redhead lightly slapped June's face, trying to rouse her, but the dark-haired woman's eyes merely rolled to the back of her head, and her body went limp. Lita then tried to shake her awake, but stopped when she saw blood staining through June's shirt. "Oh god…June! Please, wake up! WAKE UP!"

* * *

**I am a Lita fan, despite what happened between her and Matt and Edge. Oh, Lita…come back!**

**Current Poll Standings: **

**Randy**** – He is still in the lead. Wow. It's interesting...he and June have this…**_**bleh**_** relationship, and yet people want him as the father. **

**John ****– Has gotten ahead of Jeff, but is still behind Randy. Well, I can't say that I'm surprised.**

**Jeff**** – Poor dude…him being in the middle ground is apparently hurting him more than helping him.**

**All Three Are the Father**** – Again, I will add that such a feat is biologically impossible. It's totally cool if it could happen…but it's not possible.**

**The polls do not reflect how the story will end, as I have already outlined everything…but outlines can always change, right?**

**Read and review, and thanks in advance!**


	8. 3D Ultrasound

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Oh my lord, Randy broke his collarbone. That is NOT a good place to get injured as it can't get casted easily, if at all. Randy, here's hoping you get better. Until then, John and Jeff are going to have to give me my fill of wrestling cuties. By the way, I absolutely loved that match between them on RAW last night. That had been my dream match since…I don't even remember when.

And yes, **gurl42069**, pregnant women should not drink too much coffee…but one cup a day is allowable, so June isn't going to harm Jamie. Thanks for bringing it up, though!

**Eight: 3-D Ultrasound**

…

_Mommy?_

…

_Mommy, wake up! Please wake up! You've been sleeping long enough; this isn't funny anymore!_

_I'm hungry, and I feel really sore all over. You've been running too much again, haven't you? You know you shouldn't do that, not with your legs! Mommy, how am I supposed to be born if you're not going to take care of yourself? _

_AND I'M STILL HUNGRY! FEED ME!  
_

…

_Please, mommy. Just wake up. I didn't mean to yell, I really didn't! _

_I just want you to wake up…_

* * *

Randy, Jeff, and John rushed through the emergency room, almost knocking over a man in crutches as they frantically looked around for any sign of June.

"Junie!" John shrieked in a blind panic, completely ignoring the fact that there were other patients in the room who were trying to rest. "Junie, where are you?"

"Sir, be quiet!" a nearby nurse yelled angrily as she glared at the less-than-calm detective. "You can not raise your voice in the emergency room! There are other patients in here!"

"Fuck the other patients!" Jeff snapped, trying and failing to keep his composure as he poked his head through several curtains, attempting to see if June was behind any of them. "Damn it, where the hell is June Grisham?"

The nurse snorted and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Sir, if you're going to be this disruptive, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave!"

"Fuck that!" Randy growled, his normally smooth baritone voice shaking in an uncharacteristically angry manner. He held up his cellphone to the nurse's face, showing her the text message he had received not less than half an hour ago. "We just got a call that she was rushed into this emergency room. We know Junie's here somewhere, so where the fuck is she?"

"HEY!"

The three men turned around, and saw a very frustrated, very irritated looking redheaded woman standing in front of a bed that was partially concealed by a white curtain. They were about to ask who she was when they suddenly heard a soft moan from the other side of the curtain, a moan that sounded very much like it came from the person they were desperately searching for.

"Junie!" John made a move towards the bed, but the redhead quickly slammed a hand against the adjacent wall, blocking the young detective's path. "What the hell?" John cried, staring at the redhead in shock. "Move, woman! That's my friend on that bed over there, and I need to get to her!"

"She's your _friend_, huh?" The redhead glared at John in disbelief, before she let out a quiet snort. "Forgive me if I have trouble believing the shit that's coming out of your mouth," she said cuttingly. "However, the last time I checked, people don't usually let their pregnant friends walk around doing manual labor."

Despite the current situation, Jeff found himself blinking in confusion. It might have been his imagination, but he could have sworn that he had seen this woman somewhere before. "Miss, I'm not sure I know what you're talking about…"

"It's Lita, dumbass," the redhead growled. "But my name isn't fucking important right now, okay? The point is that I found this poor kid collapsing near a bus stop, trying to sell a shit load of _children's books_ when she should be at home, relaxing and getting ready to deliver that baby in her fucking stomach!"

"She…she what?" Randy looked down, and his eyes widened in shock when he found the very large stack of children's books by the bed. "Are you—are you telling me that she was carrying these books around all day in her condition?"

"I didn't stutter, pretty boy." Lita crossed her arms, and glared at all three of the men in disgust. "Friends, huh? If you guys are supposed to be her friends, then I don't even want to _think_ about who her enemies might be. You almost killed her today, you fucking bastards."

"Why you—" John made a move towards her, only to stop dead in his tracks when a doctor suddenly emerged from behind the curtains.

At this point, the hearts of all three men came to a sudden and abrupt stop. They could now fully see June, and were more than a little distressed to see that she was hooked up to an oxygen mask. But that wasn't the worst of it. June was almost completely naked, and yet it took them a while to realize this due to all of the bandages that were covering her body. Her face looked freshly scrubbed, and without the cover of makeup they could now see the ugly black bruises on her cheek and neck, bruises that took the form of five fingers and a palm.

Someone had beaten her. Someone had beaten her _badly_.

"Oh my god," John whispered, his back hitting the wall as he leaned against the whitewash for support. He couldn't stand at the moment—he couldn't feel his legs, and he was afraid that if he moved too quickly, he would throw up. A choking noise next to him informed the young detective that Jeff was also thinking along the same pages, but Randy…

Unlike John and Jeff, the Legend Killer wasn't making any movements at all. Randy's hands were jammed into his pants pocket, and his body was stiff and inert, but his face was a completely different story. Randy's face, which normally displayed arrogance, cockiness, anger, or cold indifference towards June, was now filled with a look of absolute shock and horror at the sight of the mangled woman in front of him. It was as if he couldn't fully understand what had happened, and was still trying to process the situation in his mind.

"This…this isn't right," Randy muttered softly. "She…she was fine just a few days ago…"

However, while the three men were preoccupied with June's physical state, in the meantime the doctor had been giving each of them a suspicious look. "Who are you gentlemen?" the elderly man asked, his tone low and careful. "Are you relatives of hers?"

"W-we're close friends," John explained, finally regaining the use of his legs as he tried to get past an unmoving, unyielding, uncompromising Lita. "Junie's like family to us doc, so you have to fix her up good, you hear me? You have to make her better!"

At this, Lita made a noise of disbelief. "Like you actually care…"

"You looking for a fight, Lita?" John snapped, getting more than a little frustrated at the redhead's stubborn refusal to let him anywhere near June. "Who the hell do you think you are anyway, blocking us and lecturing us like this? You don't even know who June is!"

Lita raised a brow. "_Excuse me_? At least I didn't leave her to die at the fucking bus stop like you jerks did!"

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

"Is that the best you've got? I've been called much worse!"

While John and Lita argued, Jeff and Randy took the opportunity to duck past Lita's blockade. After pulling the curtain shut behind him, Jeff knelt at June's side, brushing aside some of the dark strands of hair from her pale face. Randy kept his distance, not taking his eyes off June, but still unwilling to accept what had happened.

"Damn it, Junie," Jeff muttered, lightly brushing his fingers against the bruises that ran across her pale face. "What the hell did you do to yourself?"

"That's not the question you should be asking," the elderly doctor said gravely, looking over June's chart with a solemn gaze. "She's suffering from exhaustion, malnourishment, stress, and fatigue, but those aren't her worst problems. What I'm more concerned about are those stab wounds on her back and sides."

"S-stab wounds?" Randy and Jeff looked up in horror, before Randy went over to June and gently, carefully peeked under the back of her hospital gown. His eyes widened at the stitched wounds and black blemishes that marred the dark-haired woman's skin, and he backed away, horrified at what he had just seen.

"What the hell did you just say?" John burst through the curtain with Lita hanging around his neck like a dead weight, the latter attempting and failing to keep the young detective at bay. "Did I just hear the words 'stab wounds' come out of your mouth, doc? Are you telling me that someone tried to _stab_ Junie?" Reaching for his neck, John pulled the redheaded woman off and shoved her to the side, making his way towards June despite Lita's warnings for him to stay away from her.

The doctor sighed and rubbed his temples. "At present, it certainly looks that way. Luckily, the wounds are located far from her stomach, so it appears that during the time of the attack, Mrs. Grisham had tried successfully to protect the baby. However, I am surprised that the lady was working even with her injuries and her current state of pregnancy. Where is her husband?"

For a moment, no one spoke. Then, Jeff coughed loudly, breaking the silence.

"She—she ain't got a husband," the rainbow-haired artist said quietly, staring at June with a look of guilt on his face. "He—he died a while back…"

"Oh dear." The doctor sighed, and shook his head in dismay. "Poor thing. Well, at any rate, I should alert the authorities. The woman's clearly been abused…"

"I'm a detective," John said quietly as he knelt at June's other side and grasped her hand. "You can talk to me. But tell me all the details later, okay doc? I just need to be with Junie for a moment…"

"Of course, detective." With that, the doctor left without another word.

Meanwhile, Lita had watched the three men with a look of contempt. "Look at you," she sneered. "The three _concerned_ friends, am I right?"

"Bitch, would you just shut up?" Randy snapped, turning to Lita with icily narrowed eyes. "Who the fuck do you think you are? You don't know Junie, and you sure as hell don't know us!"

"I happen to be the kid's one true friend at the moment!" Lita retorted. Her voice steadily rose in volume with every word, and June was slowly beginning to stir from the noise. "And for your information, pretty boy, I happen to know a shit load of crap about pregnancies. How could you and your _friends _let her take on a job as a door-to-door salesperson? Don't you know that if the mother's stressed, then the baby can feel her pain too?"

"R-really?" At this, Randy was reduced to speechlessness. He hadn't known that. He wasn't a woman, so how could he have known anything about pregnancies? But in his defense, it wasn't his fault that the three of them weren't in the know about June. He didn't know that June had been beaten so brutally, nor did he know that she had tried to get a job walking from door to door, selling children's books. She had never told them anything about what had happened to her, so how was he supposed to know? "Look, I—OW!"

The Legend Killer yelped when Lita picked up the stack of children's books and shoved them into his arms. "Let's see how hot you look after you carry these around for a day," the redhead said coldly, glaring hatred at the increasingly infuriated Randy before she turned to June, who was finally awake and struggling to sit up in the bed despite John and Jeff's quiet protests. Despite her earlier anger, Lita suddenly found herself smiling. "Hey, kiddo."

"H-hi, Lita," June greeted weakly, a shadow of a smile gracing her pale and cracked lips. "Um…where am I?"

"You're in a hospital." The redhead then pulled a cellphone out of her pocket and tossed it to June, who in turn stared at it in confusion.

"Isn't this my phone, Miss Lita?" the dark-haired woman asked slowly, turning the white phone over in her hands.

"Uh-huh. I just used it to contact your idiot friends here, so don't worry." Lita grinned when she received glares from John, Randy, and Jeff, but other than that she paid them no mind. "Listen, kiddo…I put my number on your phone. If you need anything, just give me a call, okay? I don't really trust these three knuckleheads around you right now. I'd stay, but I have to meet up with my band now..."

"You got a problem with us, Lita?" Jeff snapped, making an attempt to rise from the bed. June quickly grabbed his arm, shaking her head, and the rainbow-haired artist forced himself to calm down, if only for the moment. "Damn it…just go. Go, already!"

"Gladly," Lita spat, before she spun on her heels and headed towards the exit, giving June a small wave before she disappeared through the double doors. "See ya around, kiddo."

"Bye, Miss Lita…"

John watched the redhead go with an annoyed look on his face, grumbling agitatedly to himself. "Lousy woman…insulting us like this when she had no right…"

"Give her a chance," June murmured softly, squeezing John's hand in her own. "She's very nice once you get to know her."

"NICE?" Jeff gave the dark-haired woman a look of disbelief. "Junie, you've got to stop being so freaking polite to people. That's what's getting you into these messes in the first place!"

"Oh, come on, Jeff. She just went a little overboard, that's all—"

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Junie?" Randy said suddenly, his cold blue eyes now focused squarely on June. The dark-haired woman stared at Randy in shock, as did John and Jeff.

"Dude, what the hell?" John yelled, standing up as he blocked June from Randy's sight. "She needs her fucking rest, you asshole! Don't you dare yell at her now!"

"Fuck off, Cena!" Randy roared, completely undeterred as he pushed past John and made his way over to June. Still holding the stack of books that Lita had shoved into his arms earlier, Randy thrusted them rudely into June's face, his anger increasing when he saw her flinch at the sight of them.

_So…the redheaded slut was telling the truth after all…_

"Mind telling us about these?" he asked coldly. "Mind telling us why you were walking around town, carrying these heavy things when you have a fucking baby in your fucking stomach?"

"Lay off, Orton!" Jeff said angrily, grabbing the books and tossing them to the side. "She doesn't need this right now! Leave her alone!"

Randy ignored him. "And the doctor told us that you were fucking stabbed! When did this happen, huh Junie? Were you ever gonna tell us, or were you gonna wait until you fucking _bled_ to death, you stupid bitch?"

"Randy, just stop!" June was crying now, and Jeff quickly pulled her into a fierce hug, whispering soothing words into her ear as John grabbed Randy by the arm and dragged him away from June.

"Orton," the young detective hissed, "if it wasn't for the fact that it would make June really, really upset, I'd rip your tongue right out of your fucking head and strangle you with it. I'm only gonna say this once—_stop fucking talking_."

Randy growled, narrowing his eyes as John fiercely returned his hateful stare. Finally, he wretched himself from the detective's gaze and glared icily at June, who in turn whimpered and tightened her hold on Jeff. "Junie...don't you ever act so fucking stupid again," the Legend Killer growled, before he turned and quickly left the area, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets.

As they watched him go, John cursed silently under his breath. "Damn him," he muttered. "What the hell's the matter with him today? Did something crawl up his ass and die?"

* * *

_As I'm sure you've all guessed by now, my mommy is not a very open person._

_She's very nice to people and she's always very polite, but she doesn't like to say that much about herself. She's more of a listener, not a talker, which is totally the opposite of me! My mommy says that I have a way with words, just like my daddies!_

_At any rate, I'm glad that my daddies are back into her life now. But still, Daddy Randy was mean to yell at mommy. _

_Daddy Randy, I can understand that you'd be mad at her for not telling you that she was in trouble, because you and my other daddies LOOOOOOVE her so much. But yelling at her when she just woke up? That is not a smart thing to do! I'm not even born yet, and I know that much! You do NOT yell at people who've just woken up! That's rude!_

_But the worst part was when Daddy John started asking her questions about what that Italian jerkface San-dusto did to her. I could feel mommy's pain go up by about a bazillion notches, you know? _

_At first, mommy didn't want to say anything. She kept telling Daddy John that she could handle it, until he told her that he wasn't going to allow her to do this alone anymore, and that he was going to help her whether she wanted it or not._

_Daddy John can really be forceful and stern sometimes, but it's usually only when it concerns mommy or me. The rest of the time, he's usually very silly!_

_So she told him everything. Told him about San-dusto wanting money from her, told him about how she was beaten…she didn't go into details, but later on, she told me that Daddy John's face slowly became redder and redder with every word she told him. Then, when she finally told him that San-dusto was the reason she got the book carrying job, he just left the room in anger, punching a big hole in the wall right before he disappeared through the doors._

_Mommy thinks that Daddy John would have killed San-dusto if he had the chance._

* * *

Later that night, the three men stood outside June's hospital room.

Visiting hours had ended a long while ago, but John's status as a cop allowed them to stay a few hours more than the norm. Still, none of the three were able to bring themselves to stay at June's bedside—John was pacing furiously through the hall while Randy, unable to physically deal with his anger, took out his laptop and buried himself in work.

Jeff had disappeared, taking the opportunity to talk to the doctor behind closed doors.

"That fucking bastard," John hissed, still pacing as he occasionally threw a glance in the direction of June's room. "Santino…I just checked his file, and it says that he's a low-profile loan shark back in San Francisco. Why the hell would he come all this way to beat the crap out of Junie, a woman who's not even responsible for her father's debts?"

The Legend Killer snorted, and typed another word in the search engine. "Whether they want to or not," he said in a would-be calm voice, "children often inherit the sins of their fathers. They probably couldn't find Barnett, so they went after Junie instead."

"That fucker." John stopped pacing, and clenched his fists. "I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna get that Santino for this and see him rot in jail!"

"You do that, Cena." Randy said quietly, before his finger paused mid-type. "Stupid bitch," he muttered to himself. "She could have fucking called us and told us what happened. Why does she have to be so fucking difficult?"

"Maybe it's because she wasn't in the mood to beg for your help, Orton," Jeff said sarcastically as he quietly walked away from the doctor's office. Standing in front of the agitated Legend Killer, the rainbow-haired artist thrusted a small CD in front of Randy's face. "Put it on your computer."

"Why?" Randy stared at the CD blankly. "What the hell is this, Hardy?"

"It's Junie's 3-D ultrasound, motherfucker. I wanna see it."

Ah, yes. The baby. He had almost forgotten about it... "Fuck off, Hardy. I don't give a shit about the baby. This is the laptop I use for work, and—"

"I wanna see the ultrasound!" John squealed, his anger completely shoved off to the side as he snatched Randy's laptop and quickly inserted the CD, paying no attention to the Legend Killer's loud and angry protests. After clicking _yes_ to several boxes, an image suddenly appeared on the computer screen, an image that was pulsating and had a very rhythmic sound.

_Ba-bump…ba-bump…ba-bump…_

"Is that the kid's heart?" Jeff whispered in awe.

"Shit," Randy muttered, suddenly forgetting his annoyance at John as he stared at the beating organ on screen. "It looks so fucking small…"

"Who cares? It's beating, ain't it?" John said proudly, tears coming to his eyes as he clicked for the next image. Now, the three men saw a yellow image of a moving baby, a baby that was currently yawning and stretching its little arms.

"LOOK!" Jeff laughed. "The kid's moving! See how he's curling his little fist in and out? Ain't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?"

"Who says it's a he?" John retorted, although a large, shit-eating grin was spreading throughout his handsome features. "It could be a pretty little girl, just like Junie."

"I guess. That'd be nice too." Jeff smiled, before he returned his attention to the screen. "Damn it, baby…move your leg! Let us know if you're a boy or a girl!"

In the meantime, Randy stared at the baby in a mixture of wonder and shock, unable to take his eyes off of the moving life in front of him. "It…it looks so real," he whispered, reaching out to touch the baby's face.

"Yeah, it's real." John sighed as the baby made a kicking motion inside June's stomach. "It's a moving, breathing little baby…and you wanted to kill it," he said accusingly to the Legend Killer sitting beside him.

Randy said nothing.

"You're a bastard, you know," John added for extra measure. "If you had your way, you probably would have made Junie have an abortion. That would have killed her too, you know."

Randy said nothing.

Suddenly, the baby smiled on screen, and waved one of its arms at the three men. Jeff and Randy's jaws hit the floor, while John was practically beside himself with glee. "Look guys!" he cried happily. "Did you see that, homes? The baby smiled and waved at _me_!"

"Cena you fucking idiot," Jeff snapped, quickly pulling himself back together. "This is a fucking _recording_ of the baby. That smile probably happened ages ago." The rainbow-haired artist then looked thoughtful. "Say…do you think that maybe Junie was thinking about me when she did the ultrasound? Maybe that's why the kid looks so happy…"

"NO!" John roared, slapping Jeff hard upside the head. "THE KID SMILED BECAUSE OF _ME_, I TELLSYA! MEEEEEEE!"

While John and Jeff began to have a tussle right there in the hallway, Randy slowly got up and walked to a more private area, pulling out his cellphone as he quietly pressed a number on his speed dial list.

_Ring…ring…ring…_

"_Hello?_"

"Hey there, Ric." Randy smiled as the voice of his old mentor came clear from the other end. "How's it going, man?"

"_Fine, fine! But Randy, do you know what time it is? Why're you calling me this late?_"

"Well, to be honest, I need a favor, Ric."

"_Look kid, if this is about Hunter, I can't help you. You know I can't betray him._"

"It ain't about Hunter!" Randy snapped in irritation, although he _would_ have liked some inside scoop on Hunter… "No, I need you to get your men and find this scumbag called Santino. I think he still might be in town, and I need him taken care of as soon as possible."

"_Santino, huh? I never heard of him, but okay. Why do you need me to take care of him?_"

Randy's jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed coldly. "He hurt a woman I care about. That's all you need to know."

"_Ah, I get it. It's THAT kind of business, eh?_" Even from the other end, Randy could practically hear the suggestive tones on Ric's voice, though he didn't bother to correct the older man. "_Don't worry, kid. I'll fix up this bastard good. You just go ahead and take care of your lady friend._"

"Right." With that, Randy shut off his cellphone and ran a hand through his hair.

_This isn't about Junie or that stupid baby_, he tried to tell himself. _It's about sending a message to the scum who thinks they can do whatever they want to people close to me. That's all there is, and nothing more._

He wasn't so sure that he believed himself.

* * *

_Teehee! You see how silly my daddies can be, sometimes?_

_But you know…because of my daddies, I had to go through such a hard time! It's not an easy life for us babies. There's SOOOOO much we have to teach our daddies, because when you least expect it, they go off and do blockheaded things! There's so much that they don't know, even though they're bigger and THINK that they're smart._

_But hey…size isn't everything, right?_

…

_Uh-oh._

_I think I just farted. Sorry about that!_

* * *

"So it's decided then, right Hardy?"

"_Yes_, Cena…"

As Randy made his way back to the hallway, John and Jeff had finally stopped fighting, although a suspiciously damaged-looking laptop was sitting innocently on his seat… "HEY!" Randy shrieked, rushing towards his now broken laptop and cradling the machine to his chest. "What the fuck did you two do to my computer?"

"We—we had an accident?" John said innocently, giving Randy his best "Sparkly Eyes of Innocence" impression.

It didn't quite work, and the slap Randy gave to John could be heard even from the lower and higher floors.

"Ow." John rubbed his now red cheek as Randy tried his best to do some damage control to his laptop. "That wasn't necessary, you know…"

"Fuck you," Randy snapped, trying to get his computer to start up again. "Damn it, do you know how much this shit cost me? Now I have to spend thousands to recover some of the files in here, and another thousand to get another laptop upgraded, and—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Jeff waved a hand in the air in dismissal, rudely cutting Randy's rant short. "Listen Orton. Me and Cena were thinking, and—"

"Cena can think? That motherfucker can actually _think_?" Randy interrupted rudely, blatantly ignoring the fact that John was standing right next to him. "I never knew such a thing was possible."

"ANYWAY!" Jeff continued, holding John back just as the detective tried to lung for Randy's throat, "here's what we were thinking. We shouldn't stay on the sidelines any longer. We should all help Junie out financially. We'll split the cost three ways, and give her three hundred a month, or something like that"

"Uh…huh." Randy raised a brow, but he couldn't find a way to argue with this. And for once, he didn't really mind spending a little money on June. What was a few hundred dollars a month to one of the youngest, most powerful CEOs in the world, anyway?

"And second," Jeff stated, still attempting to hold John back, "we're gonna move Junie's things into our apartment. We're not gonna let her live alone anymore. What'dya say to that, Orton?"

"…"

"…"

"WHAT?"

* * *

**Polls are still the same as before.**

**The 3-D ultrasound is so cool. It's even better if the doctors give you the CD, that way you can look at it from your computer anytime you want, and you don't have to worry about losing the pictures. Plus, you can see the baby MOVE. But I digress…**

**Read and review!**


	9. You Are My Sunshine

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Before I begin, I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. University work is getting heavier, and it's been taking up more and more of my time lately. I know that's not much of a reason, but it's the truth, and I apologize again for the inconvenience.

**Nine: You Are My Sunshine**

_I have a rocking horse in the corner of my room. His body is white, and it has a red mane. _

_I call him Topper, the Horse of the Seven Skies!_

_I'm too big to ride Topper anymore, but Daddy Jeff told me that Topper was a very expensive horse, so I should keep him with me forever and ever and ever, and give it to my own kids one day in the next eleventy billion years. I asked him why, and he told me that he once had to make a huge sacrifice so that he could buy it for me and mommy._

_Why would he buy it for mommy, though? She never rode it even once._

_Still, Daddy Jeff seems to really like Topper, so I guess I'll keep him safe. Besides, the Horse of the Seven Skies still deserves a place of honor at my slumber parties, right?_

* * *

_**Two weeks before June's release date…**_

"Diapers, food, clothing…the crib and rocking horse that you idiots _broke_…"

Disgruntled and frustrated to no end, Randy wrote down all of the things that the baby needed on a sheet of paper, going through the costs in his mind as he tried not to break the necks of the young detective and the rainbow-haired artist sitting just a few feet away from him.

Earlier that day, the three of them had tried to finish building the crib and rocking horse that Todd had left behind. At first, it had started out well. By noon, Randy had actually finished assembling half of the crib, and John and Jeff had almost finished painting the rocking horse (which was a nice, neutral white-and-red color combination picked by Jeff, as opposed to Randy's dull gray and black, or John's…_unique_ choice of lime green with purple polka dots).

However, halfway through the paint job, John had somehow gotten the idea that it would be _funny_ to start throwing paint around in the direction of the Legend Killer, especially when said Legend Killer was wearing one of his favorite, five-hundred dollar shirts. This soon proved to be one of the most disastrous ideas that John ever had, and as soon as acrylic red met silk white, Jeff ended up spending half an hour trying to detach the screaming Randy from an asphyxiated John's throat.

_Trying_ was the key word, of course.

Jeff eventually managed to pull Randy off, but not before the three of them had crashed into the crib and wooden rocking horse, destroying both items so thoroughly that it was near impossible to get them fixed. The next ten minutes were then spent arguing over whose fault it was for the colossal destruction, and finally the three men decided to just not _talk_ to one another for the rest of the day. Randy had stormed back up to their apartment, while John headed out to the building's personalized gym, paint-covered clothes and all.

Jeff had stayed behind, picking up the remnants of the crib and rocking horse.

"This is all your fault, Cena," Randy growled angrily to John, the latter of which was now nursing his black eye with a slab of raw meat. "Do you know how much cribs and rocking horses cost, you fucking idiot? Combine that shit with diapers, formula, baby furniture, clothing, and baby gear; we're talking about spending nine thousand to eleven thousand fucking dollars!"

"It just was an accident, you know," Jeff tried to explain feebly to the increasingly infuriated Legend Killer. "Besides, there's no use in crying over spilt milk. The crib and horse are broken, but that doesn't mean we can't go out and buy a new one."

"_Buy_ a new one?" Randy stared at the rainbow-haired artist in disbelief. "You want to just _buy_ a new one? I'm already on the edge with planning out the payment of Junie's delivery. Did you know that hospitals charges between five to eight thousand dollars just for a normal fucking birth?"

John rolled his eyes. "Orton, shut up."

"And that shit goes up to _twelve_ thousand if you do a cesarean delivery!" Randy went on. "The cost just keeps going up if there are complications! In the best case scenario, the total comes out to nearly fourteen thousand fucking dollars!" Randy threw his calculator to the side, and swore angrily under his breath. "Fuck this. This is too much work for a bitch who isn't even mine."

"Damn it, just shut the fuck up, Orton!" John yelled, attempting and failing to throw his slab of meat at Randy's head. "God, all you do is fucking complain about money. Money, money, money…who the fuck cares about shit like that? We're gonna be daddies, man!"

"Actually," Jeff muttered quietly, "I'd prefer that the kid considers us as uncles instead of daddies. After all, Junie doesn't know about the whole sperm mess yet…"

"Zip it, Hardy," John growled. "The kid growing in Junie's stomach could belong to any one of us, and personally, I'll pay whatever I have to in order to keep Junie and that baby happy!"

"Then I'm sure you two won't have any problems paying your share of the bill," Randy sneered, tossing the calculated estimate of the baby's items into the young detective's lap. "Your shares come out to almost five grand…_each_. Have fun trying to get the money." With that, the Legend Killer stood up and left the room, leaving a flabbergasted John and Jeff in his wake.

* * *

"_OFFICER! OFFICER! PLEASE, COME TO ARREST-A ME, PLEASE!"_

"_What the hell? Rhodes, did you let one of the crazy inmates out of their cell again?"_

"_No, Mr. Holly sir! It wasn't me, I swear!"_

"_Then who the hell is this nut job?"_

"_My name is-a Santino Marella…and I am-a turning myself in! I am a very bad man, and I should-a be locked away for all of the people I have hurt-a, and for all of the people who is…how you say…swimming with the fishes!"_

"_Wait a minute…Marella? Rhodes, ain't this the guy Cena was so uppity about?"_

"_Yeah! We should call him and tell him to hurry down here!"_

"_PLEASE, JUST AREEST-A ME! If you don't, the rickety flares will come-a and kill me!"_

"…"

"…_rickety flares? What's he talking about, Mr. Holly?"_

"_I dunno, Rhodes. Just call Cena, would you? And as for you, Mr. Crazy-Man-Marella, you're under arrest for the assault of June Grisham…"_

* * *

_**Twelve days before June's release date…**_

Paying the five grand wasn't really a problem for John. The young detective had plenty of money and savings bonds in the bank, and like the lovesick puppy he was, he didn't have any problems with using it for June and her baby. If anything, John probably would have sold one of his kidneys to get the money if necessary.

Jeff, on the other had, was a different story.

It wasn't that he didn't care about June. He had grown up with her through childhood, and he loved her like he would a member of his own family. But as an unknown artist, he didn't make nearly as much money as John, and his income was nowhere near as large as Randy's. Hell, to be perfectly honest, he was almost _broke_. Paying a few hundred a month was one thing, but five grand? That would kill him.

The newest comic he sent to Trish had once again been deemed a flop, and he was now on thin ice with her, sex-capades or not. If his next set of drawings weren't successful, he'd soon find himself on the unemployed list.

That being said, he didn't understand why his selfish CEO excuse of a friend didn't just pay the whole bill himself. Randy had hundreds of thousands in the bank—what's another five grand to him, anyway? Didn't he know the perils of being a starving, struggling artist?

Of course not. Randy was the spoiled, pampered, egotistic little third generation superstar of a successful business company. If Jeff, the lowly little artist, ever tried to disagree with the Legend Killer on anything, he would most likely find himself on the receiving end of one of Randy's headlocks faster than one could say, "R.K.O."

And he couldn't very well ask John to pay for his part of the share either. First off, Jeff knew that while John could scrape up five thousand dollars, the young detective wouldn't be able to have _ten_ quite as easily. Also, he knew that John would bitch at him until the end of days for not coming up with the money.

_Jamie needs a rocking horse, after all…_

So that left only one, impossibly cruel alternative.

The bike dealer looked over Jeff's motorcycle with a critical eye, and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Nice paint job," the man commented. "Black's a mighty fine color for it. Good working engine, no scratches…what is it, a 1999 Honda Superhawk?"

"Yes sir," Jeff mumbled sadly. "996cc v-twin, dual exhaust, 48mmcarbs, all stock. Zero Gravity Double Bubble Windscreen. Plus, she rides like a fucking dream." He had to work hard to chock back a sob. _I'm gonna miss you, my precious, precious bike…_ "What'll you give me for her?"

"Well…" The dealer clicked his tongue judgmentally, before he sighed. "My asking price is five grand, but for you kid, I might go to six-fifty. We got a deal?"

Six-fifty? That wasn't too bad, and it covered more than his share of June's bills. _Besides_, he told himself, _it's for Junie and the baby. Daddy or not, you and the others are in this together. Besides, the kid might like that antique rocking horse you saw in that shop earlier…_

With a heavy heart, Jeff forced himself to nod and shake the dealer's hand. "Sure man. You got yourself a bike."

* * *

_**Seven days before June's release date…**_

"Hey dad, I got a question for you."

"What is it, John?"

"Well…" John scratched the back of his head uneasily before he turned away from the questioning eyes of the ever curious Cody Rhodes. "Listen dad," he whispered, knowing all too well that the other detectives were trying to listen in on his conversation, "you have to promise that you're gonna keep this to yourself, okay?"

"Well, what is it, son? And why the hell is your voice so low?"

"It's nothing! It's just…" John paused to shove a too-close Cody away from his desk. "I just need to know what sorts of foods are good for pregnant women."

"…"

"…"

"J-John…"

"Yes dad?"

"You knocked up a girl, didn't you?"

"NO, dad! It's not like that!" _Not legally, anyway…plus, I would have liked to actually have had sex with the mother first…_ "It's not like that at all!"

"It's okay, son! I'm actually fine with it!"

"You…you are?" John stared at the phone in shock. Didn't fathers usually castrate their sons for knocking up women they didn't marry?

"Of course I'm fine with it!" He could hear his father laugh from the other end. "I've been waiting for you to settle down with _someone_ since…god knows when! I mean, you're over thirty now, son, and even if this is a bit unorthodox, I'll be happy as long as I get a grandkid out of you…"

"D-dad! It's not like that! I just wanted to know what sorts of foods a pregnant woman needs!"

"So who's the lucky lady? What's her name? When are you gonna bring her over?"

"You know what? Forget about it. I'll call you back later."

"Son! Don't you hang up on me—"

John hung up, and agonizingly rubbed his temples. _Note to self_, he thought. _When the baby is born, do not hound it with insane expectations like your own father has for you. Love it just the way it is. And love Junie too, when the time is right._

It was then he realized just how quiet the room was.

Amidst the silence, John slowly looked up to see the astonished stares of Cody, Bob Holly, Steve, and just about every other police officer and perpetrator within hearing distance. Even Mickie James, the girl who normally delivered their sandwiches from the nearby deli, stared at him in utter shock.

_Well. This is awkward._

"Cena," Cody said in awe. "You got a girl pregnant?"

_Ah, fuck._

"Weren't you listening? I said it ain't like that!" John retorted hotly, although he could feel the heat rush to his face in shame at the possibly untrue denial. "I'm just trying to help out a friend, you jackasses!"

"A friend, huh? Shit." Bob Holly rolled his eyes, and took a bite out of his sandwich. "I should have known. He's probably talking about _Junie_."

John blushed, before he coughed nervously and looked away.

"SEE? I told you so!"

"Who's this Junie?" Mickie asked, handing John his sandwich with a somewhat jealous gleam in her eye. However, the young detective completely missed this and began to devour his sandwich without giving the delivery girl so much as a second glance.

"She's a really…good friend…of mine," he mumbled in between bites. "She used to be married to one of my buddies, but…well…" John swallowed, and sighed. "Shit happens, you know? Now she's alone, and with a baby on the way. I feel for her."

"That's so nice of you," Mickie commented. "I wish _I _had a guy who cared about me like that." She then gave John a hopeful look, but again, the young detective ignored her. The other police officers, who were all too aware of Mickie's infatuation with John, shook their heads in pity.

_Fucking idiot_, they all thought.

"You know, Cena," Steve said thoughtfully, taking a sip out of his beer. ("It's too _early_ to drink!" Cody shrieked in horror.) "When my ex-wife got pregnant, I used to give her some lean meat, egg whites, and lots of carbohydrates."

"Fruit is good too," Bob Holly muttered. "Tofu and greenly vegetables are the way to go. Oh, and give the girl lots of 7-Up. I hear pregnant women drink a lot of that whenever they feel like puking."

"Really?" John shoved his half-eaten sandwich back into Mickie's hands (the girl looking hurt immediately afterwards), and pulled out a small notepad and pen. "Hold on, let me write all this shit down…"

"Oooh, I know!" Cody remarked, excitedly. "Mt ex-sister-in-law Terri always used to avoid fish that were high in mercury when she was pregnant with Dakota. She wouldn't even _look_ at swordfish until the baby was born."

"Would you all slow down? I can't write this quickly…"

"Don't forget beans!"

"And egg whites!"

"Fortified milk's good too!"

"Hold on, I said to wait a second—"

"Seven-grain bread is the way to go!"

"Get her some sweets too. The kid's gotta like sweets, right?"

"Chicken broth might help her keep food down!"

"I SAID WAIT A MINUTE, YOU ASSHOLES!"

* * *

_**On the day of June's release date…**_

Honestly, if he wasn't going to be civil, why the hell did he come? Didn't he have anything better to do during his day off besides making her feel like shit?

Trying her best to ignore the so-called Legend Killer sitting next to her on the bed, June kept her eyes glued to her tray of hospital food, spooning cold oatmeal and mustard yellow eggs into her mouth as she poked at what she thought was a half rotting fruit salad.

"You know, Randy," she said cheerfully, attempting to stir up some conversation, "I found out that the best breakfast days in this hospital are Fridays and Sundays. However, Tuesdays—which unfortunately happens to be today—are the worst."

Randy, who was mindlessly flipping through television channels and brain-numbing soap operas, merely grunted in response.

_Well, this is peachy_, June thought sarcastically. Randy had been with her for over an hour now, and other than a half-mumbled, "Hey," at the beginning, he hadn't spoken to her throughout his entire visit.

Lousy jerk.

However, he did give her strange stares from time to time, always when he thought she wasn't looking. But she wished he wouldn't do that. His stares were beginning to unnerve her.

"Are you sure you and the others don't mind me moving in?" she asked nervously as she sipped her cup of watery, concentrated orange juice. "You didn't have to go this far, you know. I mean, I don't want to trouble you."

"This was John's idea, not mine," Randy grunted. "We already sold your apartment, so either move in and shut up, or sleep on the streets."

"Err…no thanks." June winced. Did he have to sound so damn cutting all the time? "I didn't mean it like that, Randy. It's just that…well, I saw on the news that Mr. Marella turned himself in to the police just last week. They said that he was insane; he was all dirty and beaten up and was mumbling something about a 'rickety flare' coming to kill him…"

"He's a psycho," Randy said flatly, giving her an annoyed stare. "Don't think about him, okay? It makes me mad enough that you didn't tell us what he did to you. I don't want to hear anything else about that Italian _freak_."

At the concerned and obviously distressed tone of his voice, June stared at Randy in a mixture of shock and surprise, which in turn earned her a confused look from the Legend Killer.

"What? Say something, Junie; don't just stare at me like that."

"…it's nothing." The dark-haired woman paused, before a small smile spread throughout her face. "You guys are the best, you know? You coming here, keeping me company, Jeff bringing me those tasty apples…and John! Do you know how happy John was when he came to tell me that Mr. Marella was caught? He actually picked me up and started dancing with me all around the room! He's so cute sometimes…"

Was it her imagination, or did the Legend Killer suddenly grit his teeth? When he spoke again, all of the concern completely disappeared from his voice. "Junie, just stop talking."

"Huh? But Randy…"

"Stop talking!"

"Okay, okay!" _We'll do it your way then, bastard. And here I was, actually on the verge of thinking that we were finally thawing the ice between us! _

At that moment, June decided immediately that the tension between them was all Randy's fault. It wasn't as if she didn't _try_ to be civil on her part, but whenever she tried to talk to him, he would merely give her short, cutting answers, make noises that somewhat passed for audible responses, or give her a piercing stare with those icy blue eyes of his, eyes that made her shiver and look away in fear.

_Randy, you bastard…if you didn't want to escort me home after my release so much, then why didn't you send John or Jeff instead? Heck, I would have called Lita if it made you feel better!_

She just couldn't understand him. Out of all three men (minus her beloved Todd) whom she loved more than life, Randal Keith Orton was the one she undoubtedly liked the least. It truly baffled her—she recalled him being much nicer to her when they were younger. He had still been arrogant and conceited even then, but there had been a certain playful teasing quality about it that was no longer present now.

Upon heavy consideration, she realized that his rudeness and cold demeanor towards her began after she and Todd had started going out…

…but what did_ that_ have to do with anything, anyway?

June sighed and shook her head. Randy was like a boiling pot of unchecked emotions. She couldn't figure him out at all. How were they ever going to be close friends like she was with John and Jeff if he kept acting so terribly towards her? She hated who she was whenever she was with him. He made her feel so lowly, so worthless, like she didn't even deserve to lick the bottom of his shoe.

Just what did she ever do to him to make him hate her so much, anyway?

She felt a heavy warmth against her side. While she had been absorbed in her thoughts, Randy's stiff sitting position had slowly became more and more laid back, until his body was sprawled out lazily next to her. This resulted in the Legend Killer taking up a little more than half the bed, and consciously or unconsciously, his body was pressing up rather uncomfortably against hers.

June felt her lips thin in annoyance at the contact, and slightly scooted away from his too-warm body. "Selfish bastard," she mumbled to herself. Wasn't she the one who was supposed to be sick? This was _her _bed, not his…

_Oh, crap._

As she finished the last of her drink, she suddenly felt a hateful pain pressing against her pelvis, a pain that made her twist and squirm as she pressed her legs together, trying to ignore the fact that her bladder now felt like a water balloon. _Oh, gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee…_ She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, half intending to waddle like mad to the bathroom, when a strong hand suddenly grasped her arm.

"Where are you going?" Randy asked quietly, though his eyes were still fixated on the television set. "The nurses aren't going to have your release forms for another twenty minutes."

"I know that," June replied curtly, tugging at her arm in a fruitless attempt to free herself from his iron grip. "But believe it or not, Randy my dear, I have to pee, and I have to pee badly. So please let me go." She tugged harder, but his grip wouldn't loosen. Oh god, she was going to explode if he didn't release her… "Damn it, Randy, I am NOT joking! You want me to end up relieving myself on you?"

"…"

"…on second thought, don't answer that. Just let go!" Summoning strength she didn't even know she possessed, she yanked her arm out of his grasp and slipped into the bathroom.

Once inside, she didn't take the time to lock the door (it was only Randy outside, after all, and he certainly wouldn't peep in on her…right?), nor did she cover the seat with paper. She didn't even check to make sure there was paper on the roll. She just peed and peed and peed, and then laughed out loud, her eyes flooding with tears at the joy of release.

June heard Randy chuckle just outside the bathroom, but she ignored him. Right now, she felt good, her bladder felt better, and that was all that mattered. She was a woman who took pleasure in small victories, and somewhere deep inside her she felt a little leap, as if the baby within her could also feel her elation.

_That's the spirit, Jamie my love! _

As she washed her face and hands at the sink, she studied herself in the mirror. Seconds later, she immediately regretted doing so. Her skin, though unblemished and smooth, looked sallow, and her eyes were ringed with dark circles. Her dark hair, long and thick, had pulled loose from its clip and was frizzed into tight ringlets.

She remembered that Randy had been sneaking glances at her earlier. In the beginning, she had wondered if he was simply looking her over because she had recovered. After three weeks of staying in the hospital, the bruises on her face and body were gone, and she no longer needed most of her stitches. Of course, her belly had grown slightly larger with the eighth month of pregnancy drawing ever so nearer, but other than that, there were no physical anomalies.

But still…recovered or no, she looked like a damn freak. Randy had probably been staring at her out of disgust.

She quickly splashed cold water on her face and smoothed her hair with wet hands. Straightening out her rumpled hospital gown, she pinched her pale cheeks for color and decided not to look in any more mirrors until she could expect a better picture.

Just then, there was a loud knock, and June was just able to make out the edge of Randy's shadow from the crack underneath the door.

"Hey, Junie?"

"Yeah, Randy?"

"The nurse is here with your release forms. You gotta sign them, so hurry up and get dressed. I'm a busy man, and I ain't got all day."

June rolled her eyes at the Legend Killer's aggravated tone. "I hear you, sweetheart," she said sarcastically, not even bothering to mention that she knew today was Randy's day off.

_Busy? Yeah, right…you are so full of shit sometimes._

* * *

Before Randy went to pick up June from the hospital, John had enthusiastically suggested decorating the entire floor in celebration of the dark-haired woman's recovery. While Jeff wholeheartedly agreed, Randy (who had strangely consented to pick up June from the hospital without any arguments) complained that it was a waste of time and money to do so, and that there was nothing to really celebrate about.

In retaliation, John had angrily suggested that the Legend Killer decorate the whole apartment by himself, while he and Jeff went to pick up June instead. Randy immediately changed his mind about the party afterwards.

The next several hours were then spent frantically trying to decorate, the two men scrambling and tumbling and occasionally arguing until the entire apartment was covered from floor to ceiling with decorations. Upon seeing Randy's car turn the corner from the balcony, John and Jeff hid behind the couch, grinning like mad as June slowly, unsuspectingly opened the apartment door.

"SURPRISE!"

The two men jumped out of their hiding place and simultaneously embraced the startled June, who in turn looked absolutely stunned as they led her into the room.

"You like, Junie?" Jeff asked as June looked around the room with wide, bewildered eyes, taking in the brightly colored balloons, party streamers, and multiple banners that read, _Welcome Home, Junie and Jamie! Well, Technically Just Junie Because We Still Can't See Jamie Yet…But That Doesn't Matter Because We Love You Both Anyway!_

Several of the words at the end had been jammed into a tiny corner, and at a single glance, it was clear who had made the banner. Still, June loved it all the same, and stood on the tip of her toes to peck John on the cheek.

"John, I love it," the dark-haired woman said cheerfully, smiling as the young detective's face turned a bright shade of scarlet.

"What about me?" Jeff whined, giving June a puppy dog look.

Laughing, she then turned to Jeff and gave him a kiss on the cheek as well, making the rainbow-haired artist grin cheekily with pleasure. "And you, Jeff! You're such a sweetheart! You two shouldn't have done this, though…it must have taken hours to put up all these decorations!"

"Nah!" John waved a hand in the air in dismissal, before he pulled June in for a tight hug. "Nothing's too good for you, Junie. Besides, it only took about three hours for everything! You should have seen Jeff when he was blowing up the balloons, though. His face actually turned this blotchy purple color, and—"

"It did NOT!" Jeff yelled, smacking the young detective upside the head as he pulled June out of John's embrace. "Junie, don't believe a thing this shithead tells you. Hell, I did most of the work for the decorations anyway!"

"You lying son-of-a-bitch," John snapped, glaring daggers at Jeff. "I did _a lot_ of the work, for your information!"

"Oh yeah? Like what, Cena?"

"I put those fucking mints in the mesh, Hardy!"

"A five-year-old can put mints in a mesh! I had to nail the goddamn chiffon to the walls!"

"How about I come over there and _strangle_ you with that goddamn chiffon?"

"Oh, so you want a piece of me, motherfucker? I'm right here, Cena!"

"Oh god," Randy muttered, covering his eyes with his hand. "And Hardy's supposed to be the sane one…" Turning to June, who looked increasingly worried at the soon-to-be catfight between Jeff and John, Randy grabbed her by the hand and pulled her away from the other bickering men, taking her towards what _used_ to be his room.

"Randy? Where are we going?" June stared at him in confusion, but before she could ask any more questions, Randy pushed the bedroom door open, and June's words suddenly died in her throat.

"Oh…my…"

The room, which had once been simply furnished with dark leather couches and white, silk-covered beds, was now decorated with colorful cushions, several new baby toys and stuffed animals, a large crib, and a beautifully painted white-and-red rocking horse. In the corner was a queen-sized bed that was positioned not too far from the crib, and several suitcases were stacked in the open wardrobe by the door.

June immediately recognized the luggage as hers, and stared at Randy in a mixture of gratitude and genuine surprise as the Legend Killer kept his gaze downcast. "Randy…did you…did you really do this for me?"

_No shit_, he thought bitterly to himself, trying not to look into the dark-haired woman's shining brown eyes. _Why is it when I do something nice, it always comes as a fucking surprise to you, Junie?_ To June's face, however, he merely grunted in response.

"But…this was your room, Randy," June went on in concern. "Where are you going to sleep?"

"Guest room," Randy replied flatly. "I moved all my stuff there before we got your things over here."

"But...but why? The guest room is a lot smaller than this room. I can take the guest room, if you want."

"No," Randy snapped in annoyance. "You can't take the guest room, you idiot. The crib doesn't fucking fit in that room. Just take this room, and be fucking grateful for it."

June winced at the Legend Killer's harsh tone and sat down quietly on the bed, picking up Jeff's dog (who had been dozing quietly amongst the pillows) and holding him close for comfort. "Randy, please don't yell," she said softly. "I just didn't want you to be inconvenienced because of me. I didn't mean to make you upset."

As she sat there, stroking the dog that was now stretching lazily on her lap, June looked so downtrodden that Randy could have kicked himself if he had been just a shade less prideful. But he couldn't bring himself to apologize to her.

_I didn't do anything wrong_, he thought angrily to himself. _It's her own fault for asking such stupid questions and looking a gift horse in the mouth._

"Hey, Junie!" Jeff and John (who was suspiciously sporting a new black eye but didn't seem to be fazed by it one bit) suddenly ran into the room, the latter holding a pink, gift-wrapped box in his hands. Thrusting the gift at the dark-haired woman, John gave her a large, dimpled smile. "Open it, Junie! It's for both you and the baby!"

Randy blinked. Why hadn't John picked up that Junie was upset? Other than Todd, the detective was usually much quicker in deciphering June's emotions than the others…however, when Randy turned to June, he was surprised to see the dark-haired woman quickly mask the look of sadness on her face with a pseudo pleasant one.

"Thanks, guys!" June chirped happily, although Randy was still able to detect a quiver in her voice. John and Jeff apparently heard it as well, because the smiles on their faces slowly evaporated.

"You okay, Junie?" John asked, his voice full of concern.

"Y-yeah…I'm fine…" June avoided eye contact with the young detective, and instead opened the present, pulling out the recording device and staring at it in confusion. "Um…what's this, guys?"

At this, both John and Jeff suddenly regained their earlier excitement, while Randy hovered close to the door. "It's a recording device, Junie," John explained, taking a seat next to June as he held what looked like a cup-shaped microphone next to the dark-haired woman's large, round stomach. "You see, we can record a message into this device, and then when we're ready, we can play the message back to the baby."

"How will Jamie be able to hear it?" June asked curiously.

"That's where the microphones come in, darling," Jeff replied with a cocky grin. "The baby store told us that this type of technology can make sound waves that reach the baby even in the womb! You gotta try it out, Junie…we sang that little kid a song!"

"Really?" June's eyes wandered from John, to Jeff, and momentarily on Randy before going back to John. "All three of you sang?"

"Yup! Even Orton here lent us his baritone for a day." John got up and slapped Randy hard on the back, ignoring the pained yelp that emerged from the Legend Killer. "He sings like a nightmare, though. I hope it won't give Jamie any bad dreams…"

"Man, shut your fucking mouth!" Randy snapped, shoving John as far away from him as humanly possible. "At least I don't groan and growl out the words like you do, you fucking asshole! Oh wait, I forgot…you call that shit _rapping_, right?"

"I'm gonna kick you in the fucking nuts if you keep dissing me and my freestyles."

"How about I give you your third black eye this month then, Cena? You think you'd like that, bitch?"

"ANYWAY!" Jeff plopped down next to June, and placed the microphone against the dark-haired woman's stomach. Giving her a smile, Jeff said quietly, "While the idiot brothers over there argue, why don't you take a listen to the song? I promise, it ain't as bad as John made it sound."

"Well…" June stared at the recording device curiously, before she grinned. "Why not? Sounds like fun!" With that, she pressed the _play_ button on the machine, and listened.

"_…hey, Orton, you ready?_"

"_We're waiting on YOU, Cena!_"

"_Both of you, can it! The recording's already started!_"

"_Okay then…ahem! You are our sunshine, our only sunshine…you make us happy when skies are gray…_"

The voices of three men soon began to echo through the room. John and Randy immediately stopped fighting as they heard their low, husky voices mingle with Jeff's own croon to form a well balanced blend of tones and pitches.

"_You'll never know dear, how much we love you…please don't take our sunshine away…_"

As the song progressed, the men saw June's eyes mist over slightly, and a smile tugged at the edge of her lips as she slowly began to sing along. "You are my sunshine," she whispered to her stomach. "My only sunshine…you make me happy when skies are gray…you'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away…"

And then, when the song ended, they saw that although June was silently crying, she was also smiling. Looking up, she walked over and gave each of the three men a hug. "Thank you," she said softly, burying her face into John's neck just as the recording came to its end.

"_Hey Orton! Your singing sucks!"_

"_Excuse me? Your voice is the one that was off-key at the end, Cena!"_

* * *

_I remember this song._

_It's called, "You Are My Sunshine." My mommy and daddies always sing it for me at bedtime, and I love it. Mommy's soft voice mixing in with the lower voices of Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John…it's like heaven on earth. _

_But even before that, I remember hearing it somewhere else. Somewhere dark and warm, where everything sounded hazy but familiar._

_The first time I heard it, I think mommy was crying a little bit. _

"_The other night dear, as I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms  
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried._

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

_I'll always love you and make you happy,  
If you will only say the same.  
But if you leave me and love another,  
You'll regret it all some day:_

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

_You told me once, dear, you really loved me  
And no one else could come between.  
But not you've left me and love another;  
You have shattered all of my dreams:_

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

_In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me  
When I awake my poor heart pains.  
So when you come back and make me happy  
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame._

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away…"_

_To be honest, sometimes, Daddy Randy sings this song when he thinks no one's listening. And somehow, I don't think he was really singing it for me._

_It's a silly grown-up thing, I guess._


	10. Is It Time?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Ten: Is It Time?**

_Do any of you guys know what Lamaze is?_

_Mommy told me that she used to go to Lamaze classes when I was still in her tummy. She said that the classes made it easier for her to have me, because the teachers told her how to breathe properly and stuff. But I don't understand how breathing made it easier for me to get out of mommy's tummy. _

_It's another one of those grown-up things, I guess._

_I don't know what she did exactly in those classes, but apparently she made my daddies go with her. But whatever she did there, my daddies apparently didn't like it. Daddy Randy gets this really sour look whenever she mentions the classes, Daddy John's face turns really pink, and Daddy Jeff actually starts crying._

_I'm serious. He started crying when I asked him what he had to do in those classes._

_Mommy told me that they were overreacting. "It's nothing but male pride that's making them act that way, sweetie," she said with a smile. "It's actually quite relaxing for a woman to attend Lamaze. I think the boys are just overreacting…"_

_After taking into account my daddies' reactions and what mommy said, I'm gonna guess that Lamaze classes are some sort of pampering service to mommies, while daddies have to undergo some sort of torture session._

_Still, if any of you could explain to me what Lamaze really is, I'd be very grateful!_

* * *

The receptionist smiled at him so sweetly that Randy actually felt a bit unnerved.

"And how far along is your wife in her pregnancy?" the pretty-looking brunette asked, giving the Legend Killer a rather flirtatious grin. The light shone off of her metal nametag, the black letters spelling out _Maria Kanellis_.

Randy was no stranger to the seductive wiles of beautiful women, and out of old habit he quickly found himself eyeing the young girl. She wasn't quite as stunning as some of the women he had slept with in the past, but she still beautiful in that sex doll sort of way. He took in her ample bosom, her trim waistline, and long, slim legs that seemed to go on and on for days.

He found himself getting slightly aroused. Maria had a perfect face, a perfect body…and from the way she was looking at him, a slutty personality to match. Maybe one night in the near future, when he was bored of trying to hunt down and seduce Samantha, he'd try to find out exactly what it took to get a girl like Maria Kanellis out of her clothes.

_I'll probably be able to fuck her in about, what, one hour?_

"She's about eight months in," Randy drawled, leaning towards Maria as he flashed a charming leer in her direction. Reaching out a hand to move a strand of brown hair away from the girl's face, Randy grinned when a deep red blush began to spread across Maria's cheeks. "And don't start with that wife nonsense, because the lady I'm with just happens to be a causal friend of mine. You are looking at a single man, beautiful."

"Really?" Maria's grin then grew tenfold, and she began to giggle. "Oh my! Then this is a lucky day for me then, isn't it?"

"Damn right, sweetheart…"

"Oh god, would you _stop_ it?" Next to him, June made a face as she signed her name and his on the check-in list. "Randy my dear, I know it's hard, but please stop flirting with every single non-pregnant woman you meet in here. It's disgusting and nauseating to watch."

The Legend Killer frowned and turned away from Maria to face June, his expression more than a little displeased. "Hey, you're the one who begged me to come to this stupid Lamaze class with you to begin with! Besides, what's the problem? I'm just having a little fun…"

"Well, can you have the type of fun that _doesn't_ involve you and a woman doing the horizontal tango?"

"The horizontal tango? Cool!" Maria laughed as she tugged at June's arm excitedly. "I thought you could only do the tango standing up, but you can do it horizontally? I want to try!"

Silence. Randy and June stared at Maria in disbelief, unsure of whether or not to believe that anyone could actually be that stupid, before they eventually decided to just ignore the girl and return to their less-than-pleasant conversation.

"You know," Randy snapped, glaring at June in annoyance, "you should consider yourself extremely blessed that I even came with you to this stupid thing. I have much better things to do other than watch a bunch of pregnant women _breathe_ all day."

"Why do you have to be so rude?" June asked quietly, crossing her arms over her chest as she gave Randy a deadpanned stare. "Lamaze these days involves more than simple breathing exercises. It involves positioning of the body, and learning the philosophy of dealing with the pain of childbirth."

"…"

"…"

"And I should care…why?"

June groaned, and threw her hands up in the air. "You're unbelievable, you know that? Frankly, if you're not going to take this seriously, then go home. I only asked _you_ to come because John and Jeff were busy, but if you really don't want to be here, then go! I can do this by myself!"

With that, the dark-haired woman spun on her heels and began to walk off in the direction of the Lamaze class. However, a strong hand grabbed her by the arm and yanked her back against the hard body of the Legend Killer, preventing her from going _anywhere_, much less the Lamaze room.

"What are you doing, Randy? Let go!" June tugged hard at her captive limb and pushed angrily at Randy's chest, only to yelp when the Legend Killer tightened his grip on her arm and lowered his face until it was only inches away from hers.

_EEEK! Personal space! Personal space, Randy!_

"Junie," Randy whispered quietly into her ear, his hot breath involuntarily sending shivers up her spine. "Stop making a fucking scene."

"T-then stop acting so—so standoffish," June retorted shakily, forcing herself not to tremble as she stared back defiantly into Randy's cold blue eyes. Technically, the word _standoffish_ was a terrible understatement of how he actually treated her, but June never could find the courage to fully tell him how she felt about his horrid behavior towards her.

Still, that didn't mean she couldn't take a few jabs at him every now and then, right?

_He doesn't scare me_, she told herself silently. _He's just a big, pigheaded bully. He doesn't scare me…_

"Um…Mrs. Grisham?"

June and Randy turned, only to find a now clearly uncomfortable Maria standing in front of them. The young woman holding what appeared to be a large blue bag in her hands, and she no longer looked at Randy with flirtatious eyes. "Um, the class is starting, ma'am," Maria said meekly to June. "You and your boyfriend should probably head on over to the room now…"

"B-boyfriend?" Randy's jaw dropped in shock, while June's face paled to the color of skim milk. "Hold on, girl," the Legend Killer said hastily, "I don't know what you're thinking, but I am _not_ this woman's boyfriend—"

"Sure you're not, sir," Maria replied, although from her tone of voice, it was clear she no longer believed him. Thrusting the blue bag into Randy's hands, she then said quietly, "Here you go. Please put this on before the class begins, okay?"

"…what?" Randy felt the blue bag in his hands—it was shaped oddly, like the front of a pregnant woman's torso, complete with a full stomach and large breasts. "What is this thing?"

"It's a sympathy suit," June explained, a strange smile creeping past her lips. "The men are supposed to wear that during the classes, so that they can feel the struggles a pregnant woman has to go through."

"Excuse me?" Randy yelped, his eyes widening in horror at the prospect of being forced to wear such an unmanly item. "Are you out of your fucking mind, Junie? I am NOT going to wear this!"

"Yes you are," Junie sang innocently, giving the Legend Killer her sweetest smile.

"Oh, no I'm not!"

"Yes you are…"

"NO, I'M NOT!"

* * *

_**Five minutes later…**_

"To all the mothers and fathers-to-be," the Lamaze instructor said sternly, "we will now try some of the positions that can relieve back pain, help a posterior baby rotate, and allows easy access for backrubs and counter pressure massage. Everyone, please get on your hands and knees, and arch your back while sticking your hips into the air…"

As the other fathers and mothers excitedly got into the position shown to them, Randy stood silently against the wall, humiliatingly wearing the sympathy suit that had been given to him by Maria.

This was utterly degrading. Not only had he been forced to wear the fake pregnant stomach and fake boobs, but he was still somewhat horny from his earlier encounter with Maria, and having the entire room do seemingly sexual poses didn't exactly help matters either. His only saving grace was that he had been wearing a tee-shirt and loose sweatpants, but that was about it.

He looked around the room, a muscle furiously working in his jaw as he glared at the fathers who so willingly put on the suit without so much as a word of protest.

_This is so fucking stupid. Why don't they just slice off my balls and be done with it? _

A small, warm hand slowly slid into his own. Randy looked down, and saw June looking up at him with a pleading look in her brown eyes.

"Randy, come on," she whispered. "You've been standing there the whole time. You have to at least do _one _exercise…" Pulling him down to the floor, she got on her hands and knees and began to arch her back just as the other couples had done. Randy, who was only crouching, couldn't help but notice the…awkwardness of the dark-haired woman's position.

_Shit_, he thought, taking the time to enjoy his exclusive view of June's ass as the instructor told the couples to start rocking their bodies back and forth._ This is the stuff wet dreams are made of, baby. Maybe this Lamaze shit isn't so bad after all…_

"Gentlemen," the Lamaze instructor then said, "please stand over your wives, and gently rub her back. This will help to further sooth her during periods of pain and stress, and for those still sexually active, this is a good way to end the act of intercourse."

"Damn." Unable to suppress the laugh from the back of his throat, Randy made his way over to June, who suddenly looked less-than-pleased at the change in pace of the activity. The Legend Killer smirked, and gently ran a hand over June's back, his smirk widening when he felt her shiver under his fingertips.

So…the bitch liked being touched in the back? Well, this was proving to be interesting.

"What's wrong, Junie?" he asked teasingly, his fingers trailing up and down her spine. "Can't take it?"

"Feh!" The dark-haired woman glared up at him, her face flushed a bright red despite the angry look on her face. "It's called hormones, Randy," she said defiantly, although her voice shook ever so slightly. "It doesn't mean anything. Besides, you should probably stop now. You're not my husband."

"Yeah, I probably _should_ stop," Randy mused, though his hand still didn't leave her back. God, this was surprising even to him. The woman just felt so soft and warm…

"Sir?" The Lamaze instructor now stood in front of him, giving him a cold stare as she tapped her foot impatiently against the floor. "Just what exactly are you doing, sir? I said to start the breathing exercises five minutes ago."

"Oh?" Despite himself, Randy found himself chuckling when June quickly moved away from him and started to breathe deeply from her diaphragm, the dark-haired woman taking great care not to stare at him the entire time. "I was just having a little fun," he said truthfully, which earned him a horrified stare from the Lamaze instructor. Luckily, June hadn't been paying attention, and was oblivious to everything around her as she continued to breathe in and out.

"Sir, I don't know if you're trying to be funny," the Lamaze instructor snapped, clearly not amused in the slightest by Randy's antics, "but if you're not going to help your wife—"

"She's not my wife."

"Your girlfriend, then. If you're not going to help her, then you're going to help _me_."

"What?" Randy blinked. "What the hell are you talking about, woman?"

"I'll show you." The Lamaze instructor pulled the Legend Killer to his feet and dragged him over to the front of the room, where a large green ball was resting on the floor. "Ladies and gentlemen," the instructor said loudly, "I will now demonstrate the benefits of using a birthing ball to help with labor pains. Sir—" the Lamaze instructor turned to Randy with a small smile "—bend over the ball, please."

"…"

"…"

"…no."

The instructor frowned, but she wasn't deterred. "I wasn't asking you, sir. Please cooperate, or I will throw you out. You're being disruptive as it is."

"Well then, you go ahead and do that! See if I give a shit about—"

"RANDY!" June, now aware of what was happening, struggled to get to her feet as she tried to ignore the whispers and stares of the other couples. Randy quickly walked over to her and helped her up, still maintaining his grasp on her even after she had recovered her balance and tried to pull away from him. "Randy, this is why I told you to go. You're not taking any of this seriously!"

"Oh, come on!" Randy protested, tightening his grip on her shoulder. "Didn't you just hear what she asked me to do? She wants me to bend over a fucking ball! I ain't sticking my ass out like that for anyone!"

"You—you know what? That's it. I give up." June tore herself out of his hold, and headed off towards the exit. "I give up! You go ahead and do whatever you want, Randy. You don't have to do anything. Ma'am—" June turned to the Lamaze instructor, who had been watching the two with increasing apprehension "—I'm sorry. This won't happen again. _He_ won't be accompanying me next time."

"What?" Randy stared at June in shock. "Junie, come on! You're being overdramatic!"

"BYE, Randy!" With that, June left the room without another word, leaving the Legend Killer shamed and humiliated in front of several whispering mothers and fathers-to-be.

"Jerk…"

"Poor girl. How did she end up with an asshole like _that _for a boyfriend?"

"I feel sorry for the poor baby that has to deal with _him_ for a father…"

"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP? SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

* * *

Hours later, Randy stormed home, slamming the door shut behind him as Jeff looked up from his sketchbook in surprise.

"Hey, Orton. Um…" Jeff peered over Randy's shoulder, trying to see if a smaller, dark-haired woman was behind the Legend Killer. "Where's Junie?"

"How the fuck should I know?" Randy snarled, kicking off his shoes angrily as he stomped towards the kitchen and grabbed the pitcher of water that was resting on the counter. Without even bothering to get a cup, Randy simply tilted the pitcher straight into his mouth, not caring that water was splashing around the edges and spilling onto his shirt.

Jeff watched all this with a critical eye, before he sighed and clicked his tongue in judgment. "Shit…I knew this would happen. You pissed Junie off again, didn't you?"

Randy choked halfway through his drinking, and spat out whatever water was left in his mouth. "What the hell? _I _pissed _her_ off?" Randy stared at Jeff in disbelief. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me. _She's_ the one who begs me to go to the fucking class with her. _She's_ the one who told me that nothing bad was going to happen. _She's_ the one who should be fucking grateful to _me_, but instead _she's_ the one who fucking embarrassed me in front of a room full of hormonal women and pussified men, and left me there to die in the hands of some Lamaze bitch who I think was intent on raping me on a fucking birth ball!"

"…"

"…"

"…pussified men?"

"You know what I mean!" Randy roared, throwing the now empty water pitcher halfway across the room. Leaning heavily against the kitchen counter, the Legend Killer growled and narrowed his eyes icily. "Fucking bitch. And I took time off of _my_ fucking schedule to go with her to that class. I must have been out of my fucking mind."

"It couldn't have been _that_ bad, Orton," Jeff argued, sketching a picture of a little baby suckling from its mother's breast. "I mean, weren't there _any _perks at all in going with Junie? Anything at all?"

Randy opened his mouth to argue, but then stopped. Thinking back, he remembered the pseudo sexual positions June had been in. He remembered the way she had been forced onto her hands and knees, the way her hips were thrusted outwards and upwards as her back arched into a delicate curve.

He remembered how warm her body had felt under his hand as he rubbed her back.

He remembered the pretty receptionist at the front when they had signed in.

A wicked smile broke through his angry facial features, and his blue eyes narrowed devilishly as the image of Maria became clearer and clearer in his head. Yes, the little brunette may very well serve as an effective outlet for his inner rage, not to mention a means for him to get rid of some of his sexual frustrations as well. Sure, she had brushed him off when she suspected him of being June's boyfriend, but if his initial perception of her was correct, he would only need a few words to change her perspective of him permanently.

Well…until he had his fill of her, at the very least.

"What're you thinking about?" Jeff asked suspiciously, snapping Randy out of his fantasies as he began to darken the outlines of his drawing. "When you smile, it ain't ever for a good reason. Plus, you're drooling…"

"Am I?" Randy wiped his chin against his forearm, and was surprised to discover that it was indeed covered with a thin coat of saliva. "Shit. Well, you can't blame me, Hardy. I saw this hot chick down at that Lamaze class, and I was thinking of tapping her ass."

"What?" The rainbow-haired artist looked up, his eyes wide with shock. "Orton, are you out of your fucking mind? You can't shack up with a pregnant woman who might be married! I mean, my relationship with Trish is already fucked up because she's married…imagine how clingy she'd be if she was pregnant too?"

"Don't get your thongs in a bunch!" Randy snapped, his tone filled to the brim with irritation. "She's not pregnant, and I doubt that she's married. She's just some stupid slut who works at the check-in desk."

"Oh." Jeff let out a sigh of relief. "Well, that's good then. And Orton, would you stop ragging on me about the thongs? It was just for one time, and I only did it because _you _and Matt dared me to!"

"And you actually agreed to do it! Who the fuck agrees to wear yellow thongs during an egg fight?"

"Orton, I swear if you don't shut up about that—"

"Hey guys!" John suddenly burst into the apartment, carrying a large box with him as he looked around the room. "Is Junie back from Lita's yet? I got a present for her."

Jeff blinked. "Lita? Ain't that the chick who yelled at us when Junie went to the hospital? The one you almost killed when she wouldn't let you go see her?" Jeff then rubbed his chin, and thought hard. "You know, I keep thinking that I saw her _somewhere_ before, but I just can't remember where…"

"Ugh." John made a face at the memory of the fiery redhead. "Don't remind me of Lita, okay Hardy? But yeah, Junie called me a while back and told me that she'd be spending lunch with the bitch. I was hoping she'd be back by now, though…" The young detective opened the box, and pulled out a foot massager. "She's been mentioning that her feet were hurting lately, so I wanted to surprise her with this."

"Hey, Cena…" Randy stared at the expensive looking machine. "Where did you get the money for this?"

"I used the budget we put aside for Junie. Why?"

"WHAT!" Randy reached over and slapped John upside the head, not caring that the young detective yelped in pain from the harsh contact. "You fucking idiot! What the hell did you do that for? The baby isn't even born yet, and here you are, spending all the money on Junie!"

"Relax, Orton!" John retorted, rubbing the area where Randy slapped him. "Jesus, what the hell's the matter with you? If Junie runs out of money, we can just put a little more aside for her!"

"Fuck that!" Randy whirled around and stomped off towards his room. "I am NOT spending another dime on that stupid skank! And another thing," the Legend Killer sneered sardonically, "I am not going to any more fucking Lamaze classes, so you both can tell Junie to fuck off if she asks for me again!"

John and Jeff stared at Randy in complete shock. But before they could open their mouths to even utter a response, Randy's cellphone suddenly rang, and the Legend Killer's own eyes widened when he saw the text message that was on the ID screen.

_I'd like to invite you to a little outing between me and my friend Sam—is that okay with you? She's been asking about you nonstop, and I think this is the perfect way to shut her up. Call me back so that we can set up a date._

_Stephanie_

"Oh my god." His anger completely forgotten, Randy's face broke out in a huge grin, and he quickly disappeared into his room, giving John the middle finger as the detective demanded to know what was going on.

"That fucking bastard!" John growled, just as Randy slammed the door shut behind him. "We all promised to help Junie out, and he just up and quits? I knew he'd do something like this…"

"Hell, if he ain't gonna go with Junie to her classes, then I will!" Jeff declared, crossing his arms over his chest angrily. "Lamaze can't be as bad as Orton's making it sound—no way in hell!"

* * *

_**One week later…**_

"Ow, ow, ow, OOOOOOOOOW!"

Jeff, who was now wearing the pregnancy suit, was forced to sit on the floor with his legs spread out. While that by itself wasn't a bad thing, Junie was also sitting right in front of him with her legs similarly spread, with her feet pushing painfully against his calves, spreading his legs even more to the point where his groin actually started to hurt.

But that wasn't all. Junie was also holding both of his hands, and she was leaning backwards so that his upper body was being forced forward while his legs were being spread apart. It felt as if his entire lower region was getting ripped apart, and having the additional forty-or-so pounds added to his stomach by the pregnancy suit made matters that much worse.

"OW! Junie, please let go!" Jeff begged, trying hard not to imagine his balls being torn apart.

"Now sir," the Lamaze instructor said from behind him, "you've got to relax. If you don't, then your muscles will tense, and your pain will increase. Just look at the other fathers—they're all fine and comfortable."

"That's because they're FREAKS!" Jeff shrieked, only to scream when the instructor suddenly pushed hard him from behind, forcing his upper body even more forward. His groin was now on fire, and he thought for sure that he was going to die. "I ain't even the daddy! I'm the uncle! OH, SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

* * *

Jeff hobbled to Trish's desk, moaning as he dropped his newest pile of drawings in front of her.

"Here's…my work…for the week," the rainbow-haired artist groaned, before he trudged off, moaning and limping and holding his aching back every step of the way. At one point, he even leaned against the wall and cracked his back, hoping that it would alleviate some of the pain.

It didn't.

Feeling Trish's eyes on the back of his head, Jeff knew that he had to get out of the office quickly before she started questioning what happened or worse…before she started feeling frisky and asked for another night of secret sex. While he normally would have looked forward to another night of "Hop on Pop" with Trish, his body was in no condition to do any of the things she usually required him to do.

He honestly didn't think he could fit into that Egyptian prince's costume again, anyway.

So, limping at the speed of light (or at least, that's what he hoped), Jeff somehow found his way out of the building, making his way through the parking lot and silently bemoaning the loss of his precious motorcycle as he tried to hail a cab.

_Oh, my beautiful bike…how I miss thee…_

Out on the street, he managed to flag a cab down on his first try and had just gotten inside the vehicle when his phone suddenly rang. Checking the ID, he brightened up when he saw it was Matt. "Hey Matt! What's up, bro?"

"Why don't you tell me, Jeff?"

Jeff blinked—Matt sounded somewhat pissed off. "Matt, what's the matter?"

"Oh, I dunno. Can you explain, Jeff, why you haven't picked up your goddamn phone all day yesterday? I wanted to call you and remind you about that blind date thing I had to get ready for."

"Oh yeah…"

"'Oh yeah'? My fucking date was almost ruined, and all you can say is 'oh yeah'?"

"…pretty much. That, and I'm reeeeeally sorry."

"Why do I bother with you again?"

Jeff laughed, and rubbed the back of his aching neck. "Because you're my big bro and you love me. Also, you can't kill me because then dad would write you off his will."

"Right."

"So, how'd it go? Was she hot?"

"Well, Ashley was nice. Blonde, skinny, got that punk-rock look going on…but she ain't no Lita."

"Lita?" The name clicked in his mind, and Jeff suddenly sat up in his seat. "You knew a Lita? When?"

"Man, are you dumb or what? I used to date this girl for two years while you were off with that dumb ass shit you called a band! You two never actually met, but still, man…she was at one of our barbeques once!"

"Uh…" Jeff racked his brains, trying to come up with a memory to match the face. "Did she have red hair, by chance?"

"Not in the beginning. She dyed it soon after we broke up though…why're you asking me this, anyway?"

"Well…you ain't gonna believe this, then…"

* * *

_**One week later…**_

John sighed in relief as he pressed the icepack against his throbbing back. "Aw, man…that's the stuff."

Next to him, Cody and Bob Holly gave the young detective strange stares. "Man, what the hell happened to you, Cena?" Cody asked curiously, pointing to the already melting icepack in John's hand. "I don't remember you getting injured when we went after our last perp."

John snorted, and pressed the ice harder against his spine. "It ain't like that, homes," he retorted, grunting quietly when he hit a particularly sore spot. "I just had a…a little _accident_ a few days ago, is all."

"An accident, huh?" Bob Holly stared at John suspiciously, before the older man snorted. "If it's just an accident, then tell us what happened."

"Err…"

_June pulled John's legs up to rest over her shoulders, running her hands down his calves as she gave the young detective a worried stare. "John, maybe we should slow down a bit. I don't want you to exhaust yourself."_

_John shook his head, and continued to lift his upper body off the floor in the way the instructor had shown him. "Nah! It's no problem, Junie! Hell, this is actually kind of fun, even! It's like doing crunches!" _

"_Well, if you say so…"_

_He then inhaled and exhaled deeply as his body moved up and down, and June struggled to keep his powerful legs on her shoulders as the instructor stopped by and gave them a proud smile. "This is much better, Mrs. Grisham! I must say, your partner this week is much more enthusiastic that those other two you brought in this month!"_

_June laughed nervously, before she turned to John with a grin. "Well, John is the most exuberant of all my friends. Although Jeff does have his strong points too—eek!" June suddenly felt John's legs slip from her grasp, and the young detective was now on his hands and knees, arching his back with much enthusiasm._

"_J-john!" June stammered. "Please slow down! The other couples are nowhere near finished with the first exercise!" _

"_Aw, they're slowpokes, Junie!" John replied as he arched his back even more. "Why, if you've got the strength, why not flaunt it, right? Say…" The young detective then threw June a mischievous grin, and beckoned for her to come closer to him. "Junie, hop on my back."_

"_What?" The dark-haired woman gave him a blank stare. "Did I hear you correctly, John? You want me to __**what**__?"_

"_Come on! Jump on my back!" _

"_No!"_

"_Oh, come on! It'll be like doing push ups!"_

"_John, I am not going to jump on your back. You already have forty extra pounds concentrated around your middle thanks to that sympathy suit, and I am not going to add to the problem! Besides, it's dangerous, and from the way you're already twisting, you're going to end up—"_

"_OW!"_

"—_throwing your back out."_

_June winced as the young detective suddenly shrieked in mid-arch and collapsed face-first to the floor, moaning and writhing at the dark-haired woman's feet in pain. "Oh shit…call a doctor! Call a medic! Officer down!"_

"Holly, that shit ain't none of your business, aight?" John finally answered, looking away from Bob Holly's piercing stare as he shifted the ice from one hand to the other. "I just had shit to do with a friend of mine, and things got…carried away."

"Uh-huh. Sure." The older detective rolled his eyes, before he went back to studying his newest case file.

Suddenly, the phone rang, and John winced as he leaned over to pick up the receiver. God, who knew that a bad back could be so goddamn annoying? "H-hello?"

"Yo Cena."

"Hardy? What do you want?"

"It's about Junie, man."

"Junie?" John perked up, suddenly more interested in the call. "What's up? Is Junie okay?"

"She's fine, but she said that she got this HUGE craving for some Papa John's pizza. She wants extra cheese, sausage, and mushrooms, man. And she needs it _now_. Can you go buy it for her, or is that too much for—"

"PAPA JOHN!" John, completely forgetting about his back pain, stood up and ran out of the police station as if his head was on fire. "PAPA JOHN! GOTTA GET PAPA JOHN!"

"What the—" Cody yelped as John sped past him, still screaming about Papa John. "Cena! Where're you off to? Are you going after a perp?" When Cody's only response was another chorus of John screaming "PAPA JOHN!" He turned to a group of nearby officers, and ordered, "You heard the man! Everyone, follow Cena! We're gonna get this Papa John guy if it's the last thing we do!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

* * *

In the span of five minutes, at least seven police vehicles had stopped in front of Papa John's pizza place, where John was last seen rushing inside.

Cody, Bob Holly, and Steve all surrounded the front entrance, and Steve shouted loudly, "Papa John! This is the police! You are under arrest for—for—" Steve stopped, and turned to Cody with a frown. "What the hell are we arresting this guy for?"

"I don't know," Cody admitted. "But Cena looked really worried when he rushed out after him."

"Oh god." Bob Holly hung his head in despair. "I got a bad feeling about this…"

"Whatever." Steve rolled his eyes, before he once again yelled, "ANYWAY! Papa John, come out! You are under arrest!"

Just then, they saw the front doors begin to move. The other officers tensed, pistols cocked, before Steve's eyes suddenly widened and he yelled, "WAIT! Hold your fire! It's Cena!"

And so it was. John poked his head out from behind the doors, and stared at the barrage of police officers with a confused look on his face. "Um…what's going on?" he asked slowly, eyeing the guns that were in Cody, Bob Holly, and Steve's hands. "Did something happen here?"

"W-where's Papa John?" Cody asked stupidly, trying to peek over John's shoulder in case the suspected "perp" was inside. "Did you get the guy already?"

"What guy? What the hell are you talking about, Rhodes?"

"Papa John! You left the station screaming something about Papa John—"

"I was talking about pizza!" John cried, holding up the hot, steaming boxes of pizza. "Junie was craving this, so I rushed out to get it for her! What the fuck did you think I was talking about?"

"…"

"…"

"…Rhodes?"

"Yes, Mr. Holly?"

"…you're an imbecile."

"Yes, Mr. Holly."

* * *

"So how long are you and Rhodes suspended for, Cena?" Randy asked, an amused smile spreading throughout his face as John bit angrily into his fourth slice of pizza.

"Two weeks," he grumbled, swallowing the gooey cheese before washing it down with a swing of beer. "Man, it ain't even my fault! It's all Cody's for taking things out of context!"

June sighed, and gently took John's hand into her own (an act that quickly diffused the detective's anger and immediately made him forget why he was angry in the first place). "Well, look at the bright side," she said gently, giving the blushing John's hand a squeeze. "At least now you and I can spend some more time together. We can finally catch up on playing Super Smash Brothers!"

"True!" John grinned, and scratched the back of his head nervously. "Junie, you're the best…"

"I know. But still…" June then turned to Jeff, who was scarfing down several slices of pizza so quickly that the dark-haired woman wasn't sure if the rainbow-haired artist was even taking the time to chew. "Jeff, I never told you that I had a craving for pizza. What was that all about?"

Jeff then stopped eating, and an embarrassed flush could be seen spreading across his cheeks.

"Oh shit," Randy laughed, wiping his lips after he took a sip from his beer bottle. "Hardy, _you're_ the one who wanted to eat the pizza, weren't you?"

"…"

"YOU BASTARD!" John bellowed, attempting and failing to lung across the table towards the rainbow-haired artist. "You almost got me kicked off the force, you jerk! Junie, let go! I'm gonna kill him!"

"I-it was just a small joke!" Jeff argued weakly, getting up and moving as far away from John as possible. "I mean, come on! Would you really have brought the pizza if I said that _I_ was the one who actually wanted to eat it?"

"I hope you go to hell," John spat bitterly, before he stuffed another slice into his mouth. "Fucking bastard…"

June stared at the scene in front of her, before she laughed softly. "You guys are the best, you know?" she said, resting her chin in her hand as she gave each of the three men a small smile. "I didn't know what I would do after Todd…you know…but with you guys around…it doesn't hurt as much. I feel as if I can keep going on an extra day…" She then looked up, and gave the three a determined look. "But don't you guys worry. I know how much you're all spending on me, and I promise, I'll pay you back every cent."

"You don't have to do that, Junie!" John said quickly. "We love you, and we'd do anything for you!"

"I don't want to hear it, John! I said I'm going to pay you back, and I'll keep good on my promise! After I give birth to Jamie, I'll have to start looking for work anyway. I wouldn't want my baby to have a mother who can't even take care of herself!"

With that, June laughed again and went back to eating her pizza, completely oblivious to the fact that John was giving her a look of total admiration, and that Jeff was giving her a grin that was larger than life. Randy, on the other hand, kept his facial features neutral and indifferent.

Still, the thoughts of all three men were the same.

_This woman can't be real._

* * *

_Aren't my daddies the best?_

_They keep my mommy laughing almost all of the time, which is very good for me. You know why? Because if the mommy is laughing, then the baby can feel her happiness, and that makes the baby happy too! Daddy John and Daddy Jeff, don't stop making my mommy laugh!_

_Daddy Randy…you need to work on your technique a little more._

_But you know…the sausages on this pizza make me want to eat some steak. I need my proteins to become a champ like Daddy John, after all! _

_Mommy! Eat some steak! Mommy, steak! STEAAAAAAAAAAAAK!_

_Don't make me kick you!_

* * *

"OW!"

June dropped her slice of pizza and clutched at her stomach, wincing as she felt the strong kick that came from within her womb. Next to her, John, Jeff, and Randy all turned to the dark-haired woman with a look of concern.

"Junie," John said worriedly, "what's the matter?"

"I-it's nothing," June said shyly, blushing as she placed a hand over her stomach. "It's just that Jamie's been kicking like the devil lately. The little thing is so strong…"

"Where's Jamie kicking you?" John asked excitedly, staring at June's stomach with a huge grin. "Where do you feel it?"

"Well…" June smiled as she took John's hand, and guided it to her stomach. The young detective's face immediately turned a bright crimson, but the feelings of total happiness completely blocked off all thoughts of embarrassment. "Right there. Jamie was kicking right there…"

Inside the womb, Jamie blinked. _Huh? That's strange…the hand I feel is different from mommy's. Is it Daddy John's? Oh, I know! Let's kick it!_

Suddenly, John felt a bump against his hand, and his handsome face completely lit up. "Oh my god! Orton, Hardy, you have to feel this! Jamie kicks like a little soldier!"

"Really?" Jeff ran over and placed another hand on the giggling June's stomach.

_Hey! What's going on here? There's another hand here, too! And it's touching my BUTT! Daddy Jeff, stop that! How would you like it if people touched __**your **__behind? Take THAT!_

"Hey! It kicked me too!" The rainbow-haired artist laughed as he felt a series of hard bumps against his hand. "Shit, you're right, Cena! The kid's a fighter!"

Meanwhile, Randy had stayed on the sidelines, staring at the scene before him in a mixture of scorn, envy, and jealousy. He didn't want to feel the baby. To do so would mean that he was getting attached, which he swore to himself that he wouldn't do.

But…another part of him wanted to know what it felt like. Just out of curiosity. _Mild curiosity_, he told himself. _Nothing else._

June turned to the Legend Killer, and gave him her softest smile yet. "Want to feel the baby?" she asked.

He acted as if he hadn't heard her, and took another swing of his beer.

"Here."

She held her hand out for his, but he moved it away. The last thing he wanted was to feel her soft, warm hand in his again, not when he had a date with Sam coming up.

"Give me your hand." She grasped his hand in a firm but gentle manner and guided it to her belly. Avoiding John and Jeff's hands, she laid Randy's flat against her stomach, her fingers over his, pressing the digits against the mound of her navel. "Feel that?"

"No," he replied coldly. He tried to pull his hand back, but she held it and moved it lower, pressing his fingers into the curve just above her pelvis.

And then, he felt it. It was a small, almost dreamlike sensation, but he felt the tiniest beats of a tiny heart just against his fingertips.

"That's it," June said softly, her voice no louder than a whisper. "Can you feel that? That's Jamie's heartbeat, guys."

The three men then stared at June, who stared back with an innocent smile and shining brown eyes. For a moment, none of them were able to talk, and later on, none of them knew what they would have done if June hadn't suddenly cried out a second later.

"OW!" The dark-haired woman gasped and curled up, leaning hard against John as she clutched at her stomach. "Oh my god! It HURTS!"

"Junie! What's the matter?" Jeff cried, trying to keep Junie seated as she slowly slid down to the floor.

"Oh my god…I think my contractions are starting…I think the baby's coming!"

"OH SHIT!"

* * *

**Twenty pages. I'm tired.**

**Okay, I'll confess…I didn't like writing this chapter. I don't know, maybe it's the heat wave that's been going on. Anyway, this is going to be a long story. But I hope that you're all enjoying it so far.**


	11. False Alarm, Real Alarm

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: I can't speak Spanish, so any sentences in Spanish are simple, rough translations.

**Eleven: False Alarm, Real Alarm, Everyone's Alarmed**

_My mommy told me that when other mommies are ready to get their babies out of their tummies, they go into something called a "labor" stage._

_I'm not sure how it works exactly, but from what mommy told me, I think it's a process where the mommy's body gets all painful, and the mommy can't relax until the baby is forced to leave. When the baby leaves the tummy, the mommy stops feeling pain. I hope I didn't cause my mommy too much pain before I left…_

_But mommy also told me that sometimes, other mommies think that they are experiencing labor…only to go to the hospital and be told it was a false labor or "false alarm." That's when the mommy's body goes into pain, but the baby isn't ready to leave yet._

_Mommy told me that she experienced only one false alarm, but that still made me feel really bad! I didn't know that I made her feel pain before I was ready to leave her tummy! The second she told me this, I apologized to mommy, and I gave her a big chocolate chip cookie for all of her troubles!_

_I hope that made her feel better. Chocolate chip is her favorite cookie, as well as mine._

* * *

"Guys…I'm sorry…"

June kept her head down as Randy silently drove his car through the empty streets. Although the Legend Killer hadn't spoken a word to her since they left the hospital, she could see the anger bubbling underneath his handsome exterior, and she knew that she was on thin ice with him.

John and Jeff, who were sitting behind them, were also silent. They weren't angry, but June could definitely feel their frustration towards her. While she didn't feel good about their change in attitude, she certainly couldn't blame them for feeling that way.

It was all her fault, after all.

She should have known better. The tightening of her inner muscles, the sudden pain concentrated around the lower abdomen and groin…it had all been for nothing. She should have realized that the contractions had been varied and irregular, and that no progression had been made over time. Had she been in a more stable state, she would have realized this, but the pain had dulled her usually sharp medical senses.

It was only when she had sat down in the car as the three men rushed her to the hospital that she realized something was off. When sitting, her contractions had actually slowed down instead of remaining consistent, and by the time they reached the doctor, the old man confirmed what she had been suspecting far too late.

The labor was nothing more than a false alarm.

June could see the faces of Randy, Jeff, and John from the rearview mirror. When the doctor had told them after almost an hour of waiting that she still had a few more days to go before Jamie was born, she saw that the guys had tried to accept this with grace. But now that the initial panic had worn off, she could actually hear the inner gears of their minds turning as they all slowly became aware of all the inconveniences they had suffered because of her.

Not ten minutes after they left the hospital to go home, they ran out of gas. In his hurry to get June to the hospital, Randy had forgotten to refill his tank, and neither Jeff nor John remembered due to their own haste. This resulted in the detective and rainbow-haired artist pushing the car to the nearest gas station, which had thankfully been located only a few blocks away from the hospital.

Still, an inconvenience was an inconvenience, and June was unable to look at the others in the eye as they slowly, exhaustedly drove home.

_Oh Jamie, I'm so stupid, you know? They want me gone…how could I have not seen that before? Do you know how can mommy make this up to your uncles, sweetheart? Because I don't have a damn clue._

* * *

"Are you serious, girl? They took you to the hospital last night, and then their car ran out of gas when they tried to take you home? HA!"

Lita laughed with so much mirth that it only served to make June feel _that_ much more depressed. "Please, Miss Lita," the dark-haired woman begged pathetically. "Please don't tease me like that. I feel bad enough about the whole situation as it is."

The redhead let out a few more snickers before she finally managed to contain herself. "I'm sorry kiddo, I really am. But you've gotta admit—" here, Lita grinned cockily "—the whole situation is kinda hilarious from an outsider's point of view."

"Well, it's terrible from an insider's perspective," June replied miserably as she picked up the glass of orange juice that sat on the coffee table. Taking a small sip, she looked up at Lita and gave her a sad stare. "And to think, the evening was going so well until this happened! I don't know what I'm going to do to make this up to them. They've been going through so much for me, and all I've done is take from them without giving anything back!"

"And that's bad…_why_?" Lita asked, raising a curious brow. "I don't see what you're complaining about. Most women would _kill_ to be pampered by three gorgeous men, even if they do have asshole personalities. Hell, I'll switch places with you, if you want. But…" The redhead tapped a finger against her chin in thought. "You can keep the one with the bad buzz cut and baggy clothes. I don't like him."

"Huh?" June blinked. "Are you talking about John?"

"Is he the one who dresses like a white wannabe gangster and doesn't know when to shut up?"

"…well, I wouldn't say that he's a wannabe," June mumbled weakly, after a too-long period of deliberation.

"Then that's him." Lita shook her head solemnly. "I really don't like him. He's just a bigmouthed idiot to me. And you say he's a cop? God help us all…"

"He's actually very sweet, you know," June protested, arching forward slightly as she strained to rub her lower back. It had been hurting more than usual since last night, but she thought nothing of it. "He's the one who goes above the call of duty the most for me. I mean, he even got me an expensive foot massager just the other night!"

Lita snorted, not at all impressed by what she was hearing. If anything, John's pampering actions disturbed the hell out of redhead. "Sound to me like he's trying to act more like a husband than a friend, kiddo."

"What?" June yelped, a pink blush spreading across her white cheeks. "Oh, don't be ridiculous, Miss Lita! John is just my best friend, as is Jeff! And Randy is…um, Randy is…" June paused for a moment, trying to put a placement on the Legend Killer's status with her, before she shrugged and waggled her hand. "Randy is _meh_."

"Meh?" Lita eyed June curiously as she took a sip out of her own glass of juice. "Well, that's one way to describe a relationship. Which one is Randy again?"

"He's the one with blue eyes," June said simply, which resulted in Lita giving her an annoyed stare.

"John the bigmouthed idiot has blue eyes too, you know! Be more specific."

"Oh. Right. Um…I guess Randy's also the one with a tan."

"Ah." Lita thought for a moment, trying to recapture the image of Randy in her mind. "And why is he just 'meh' while the other two—including the idiot John—get the best friend status? The boy's not that bad looking to me, and he seemed okay."

June sighed, and finished off her juice before setting the glass back onto the table. "It's a long, complicated story, Miss Lita. I'm not even sure I have all the details yet…but trust me; Randy is simply a 'meh' in my books. Besides…" The dark-haired woman frowned, and turned her gaze downwards. "He's the one who complained the most after my false alarm."

"Really?" The redhead scooted closer, and leaned forward so that she could get a better hearing of June's tale. "Do tell, kiddo."

"Well…"

_After they had returned from the hospital, June had spent the next several hours in her room, trying to rub the soreness from her back and swollen legs with little success. _

"_Drat," she muttered, kneading at the lump that once used to be her knee. "I'll have to get some ice…" Staring at the clock, she sighed when she saw that it was almost two in the morning. The others would surely be asleep by now, especially after pushing the car for three blocks. She'd have to get the ice herself._

_Somehow finding the strength to stand, June hobbled over to the kitchen, stopping just short of the doorway when she realized that the lights were on. She heard hushed, whispering voices coming from inside, and the low murmurs of Randy, Jeff, and John floated through the cracked opening in the double doors. She moved away, half intending to go back to her room, when she heard the tones of their voices. _

_They sounded angry. Exhausted. Frustrated._

_It sent a terrible shiver up her spine, one she tried unsuccessfully to suppress. Maybe it was about something else, she told herself. Maybe they were arguing about the stress of work and whatnot. Or maybe…_

_Maybe they were talking about her, and how much she was burdening them._

_Against her better judgment, she crept closer to the crack in between the doors, and peeped through. The Legend Killer was the first one to come into her line of vision, and luckily for June, he was also the one who was talking the loudest._

"_I can't take this anymore," Randy said bitterly, rubbing his temples in agony. "Going off at midnight for a fucking false alarm…almost getting us stranded in the fucking streets…I can't deal with shit like that, man! And my __**car**__! I don't ever make fucking mistakes like that with my car! It's only around her!"_

_John snorted, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Her false alarm had nothing to do with you not remembering to fill your own gas tank, man."_

"_Yes it is, Cena! She was screaming so goddamn much that I completely lost my fucking head!"_

_June winced, and looked away from the crack in a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. Then again, coming from Randy, these words didn't quite hurt as much as it should have…_

"_For once," Jeff said suddenly, his voice soft and quiet, "I agree with Orton."_

_June's head snapped up, and she stared through the crack in horror. What on earth did that boy say?_

"_WHAT!" John stared at the rainbow-haired artist in surprise, the shock on his face effectively mirroring June's. "Not you too, Hardy!"_

_Jeff sighed, and looked away from the detective's accusing stare. "Come on, Cena. You have to admit, doing all this Lamaze shit, spending money on her, and driving her to the hospital and back…it's more work than we ever thought it would be."_

"_Damn right," Randy agreed, ignoring the glare he received from John._

_The rainbow-haired artist sighed again and leaned against the kitchen counter. "Look, Cena. I know you care for Junie and all…but let's face it. We can't do this. I think our best bet would be to just marry Junie off to a nice guy and move on with our lives."_

"_NO!"_

"_Keep your voice down, Cena!" Randy hissed, making frantic hand motions for John to shut up. "You wanna wake Junie, you fucking idiot?"_

"_Fuck you! I'm not letting Junie marry some strangers when she has me!"_

"_Cena…"_

"_Forget it, Hardy! I ain't rolling with that!"_

_While the men argued, June silently moved away from the crack in the doors, and made her way back to her room without making a sound._

Lita let out a low whistle as June wiped a tear away from her eye. "Wow, kiddo. I feel for you. And you actually _live_ with these assholes?"

"They're not all assholes," the dark-haired woman mumbled, although her eyes were still downcast and sad. "They just want me gone, and I can't blame them. I mean, I know John defended me and all, but as for Jeff and Randy…well, I can understand where they're coming from."

"…excuse me?" The redhead gave June a disbelieving stare. "These men just said that they wanted to get rid of you, and instead of marching up to their asses and beating the shit out of them, you_ understand_ where they're coming from?"

"…"

"…"

"…well, yeah."

"Bah!" Lita threw her hands in the air. "You see, this is why they're so eager to get rid of you. You don't put up a fight! You're like a doormat—you let people walk all over you!"

"I do not!" June gasped, deeply offended at Lita's harsh words. "I stand up for myself when I need to!"

"Uh-huh. Kiddo, stop talking now, okay?"

"Okay."

"See?"

"Oh!" June turned away from Lita and pouted childishly. "It's just hard for me to get mad at others! That's why I loved Todd so much…we didn't argue very much, and he was such a sweetheart! But give me some time to practice…I'll get it right one day."

Lita sighed, and buried her face in her hands. "Oh, June…what are we going to do with you? I fear for your safety in the big world out there."

Despite her initial displeasure at their conversation, the dark-haired woman found herself laughing as she placed a comforting hand on the redhead's shoulder. "Miss Lita, don't worry about me! I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"Of course you can," Lita replied sarcastically, although June didn't seem to pick up on the redhead's dry tones. "And that's why you're pregnant, widowed, and living with three men who seem to want nothing to do with you."

"…"

"…"

"Miss Lita, for a friend, you're not doing a very good job of keeping me in high spirits."

"That's because I'm one of a kind, kiddo. The extra-special, sexy and irresistible Lita kind." The redhead gave June a grin, which made the younger woman laugh again. Then, Lita bent down and poked at the baby in June's stomach, her grin widening when the child inside kicked at her in protest. "Feisty little thing, isn't it?"

"Uh-huh. That's my Jamie for you." June smiled, and gently ran a hand over her stomach. "It would have been nice if the baby could have been delivered last night, but…" The dark-haired woman drifted off, sighing sadly as she stared down at her round, large belly. "I guess that Jamie doesn't want to leave yet. A shame, though…I would have liked to see my feet again."

"That's what all the pregnant ones say, kiddo," Lita said quietly, her eyes misting over slightly as she poked at June's stomach again, provoking another kick from Jamie. "But don't worry. The doctor said that it's only for a few more days, right?"

"True. Say, Miss Lita…" June looked up and gave the older woman a questioning stare. "You mentioned that you were pregnant once too, right? How did you deal with the last few months of pregnancy? And where's the…the baby…?"

June trailed off, startled as Lita's features suddenly darkened. In front of her eyes, June saw Lita's once cordial-looking face transform into something so twisted and horrible that if the dark-haired woman hadn't already known the kind of person that Lita was inside, she would have run away screaming. Still, this didn't stop June from backing away slowly in her seat.

"M-miss Lita…are you alright?"

"Yes." The words were growled out, not spoken.

"Um, did I say something wrong? Because if I did, then I'm sorry I mentioned it! I didn't mean to make you upset!"

"It's fine." Lita's fists clenched, and her eyes narrowed dangerously before she fixated her heated glare on the now trembling June. "I'm gonna let you in on a little secret," Lita said in a deadly whisper. "I lost my baby when I was six months in."

"Miss Lita…" June couldn't speak. Lita had a miscarriage? That was the worst thing that could happen to an expectant mother. June couldn't even begin to imagine what might have happened and how Lita must have felt…

"Because of that," the redhead went on, her voice still low and laced with venom, "I lost two men in my life, and the third dumped me the minute he found out that I miscarried my baby. You can say that the kid's sort of been haunting me ever since…like it's my fault or something…"

June wasn't sure of what to say. How could anyone comment on a situation as delicate and volatile as Lita's? She knew she ought to have stayed silent, but instead, she found herself saying the words she herself would have wanted to hear if she had been in Lita's place. "It's not your fault, Miss Lita. I-I'm sorry for your loss, but you shouldn't blame yourself…"

"Why not?" the redhead spat bitterly. "I'm the one who wasn't able to protect my baby. I was scared, and only thought of protecting myself. I'm not like _you_, kiddo. I wasn't able to take the hits for the brat."

"Miss Lita!" June's hands grasped onto Lita's clenched and trembling ones, and the dark-haired woman held onto them tightly as she looked up at the redhead with desperate eyes. "Please don't say that! You can't put yourself down over something like this!" When Lita didn't respond, June's grip tightened on Lita's hands. "Miss Lita…"

"Don't you fucking feel sorry for me." Lita's biting tone was still there, but it had softened ever so slightly. The redhead looked up, and June could see that some of the dangerous anger had dissipated from the older woman's eyes. "Like you told me before, saying sorry won't change the shit that's happened."

June somehow mustered the strength to smile. ""I-I suppose…" She then slinked her arm through the redhead's, and tried to pull the much stronger Lita out of the apartment. "Come on, Miss Lita! The day is still young, and I've been craving for a hot fudge sundae anyway. Come with me; I promise you'll feel much better!" She tugged at the older woman's arm, giving Lita her sweetest smile as the hardness in the redhead's face slowly melted away.

"Oh, fine. You're such a little kid, you know…" Still, a grin finally made its way through Lita's face. Helping June up, she led the pregnant young woman to the door, if only to humor the expectant mother-to-be.

However, once they were out on the street, they had only walked for five minutes when June slowed down noticeably, and stopped walking. At first, Lita assumed that the dark-haired woman had a rock in her shoe, or perhaps a leg cramp (she had seen June's swollen legs back at the hospital, and was in no mood for a repeat performance). She stood beside June as the young woman clutched her arm…and then, Lita realized what was happening.

June was having the baby.

_Oh my god. _

Lita looked around, cursing the heavens for the fact that the streets were abnormally empty at that precise moment. _Help, help, I need to get this kid some fucking help!_ She was about to pull out her cellphone when June suddenly fell to the ground, curling and whimpering in pain.

"Oh, my fucking GOD!" The dark-haired woman grasped at her stomach and bit down hard on her lip, trying to substitute one form of pain for another with little success. She had never felt such torment in her life—even last night's false alarm hadn't been this excruciating! She could hardly catch her breath, let alone scream…

"Kiddo, hold on, okay?" Lita said soothingly as she quickly tried to flag a cab down. "Try to breathe, okay? You learned all that Lamaze shit, right?"

"M-miss Lita…I can't move…" June gasped, looking at the redhead in terror as the pains rippled through her. This was the worst sensation she had ever felt—being stabbed now seemed like heaven compared to this.

"I know, kiddo…just keep your cool. But seriously, you can't just lie there! You can't have the baby so quickly! When did the pains start?"

"I-I don't know!" June wailed, starting to cry. "I had a backache since last night, and my stomach hurt for a while, but I thought it was just stress…"

"Are you serious? You've probably been in labor all day! How could you not know?" Lita gritted her teeth as a cab finally stopped by the curb, and she painstakingly dragged the writhing mother-to-be into the vehicle. "Get us to the closest hospital in the area," she ordered the driver, while trying to keep June seated upright.

"W-which one, ma'am?" the driver stammered stupidly, his eyes widening at seeing the whimpering, pregnant woman in the backseat.

"I don't fucking care which hospital you take us to! This woman is in fucking LABOR, so shut up and DRIVE!"

"Y-yes ma'am!"

"Fucking idiot," Lita hissed, once again pulling out her cellphone as she turned towards the moaning mother beside her. "June?"

"Y-yes?"

"What are the phone numbers of your idiot friends? I need to call them and yell at their fucking asses again!"

"N-no!" June's eyes widened and she tried to grab at Lita's cellphone, only to have the redhead hold it out of her reach. "Oh, Miss Lita! You can't call them! What if this is another false alarm? They'll get so—so—ANGRY! OOOOOW!" June screamed as she felt another contraction squeeze at her insides, and Lita let out a cry of frustration at the younger woman's refusal to cooperate.

"Kiddo, if this isn't the real deal, then the brat inside you is probably going to be one hell of an actor when it grows up! Now stop being stubborn, and tell me the phone numbers of those jackass retards you call friends!"

"AAAAAAAAAGH! Call John, then! CALL JOHN!"

* * *

David "Batista" Bautista, doctor and head of the Department of Physical Medication and Rehabilitation, was not in a good mood.

_Am I a bad person? That's the only reason I could come up with for why this shit keeps happening to me._

Nah. He wasn't a bad person. He kept his patients happy, did as he was told, and tried his best _not_ to lash out at Vickie, who had been riding his ass ever since he had protested her unusually cruel treatment of his friend, Rey Mysterio. Surely that earned him some merit with the big guns upstairs…

So why was he still being treated like a sack of horseshit?

Ever since his best friend, Eddie Guerrero, had passed away and left control of his many hospitals in the hands of his wife, Vickie had been a downright bitch to anyone who tried to question her authority. Several veteran doctors such as Teddy Long had been demoted from their head positions—others had simply been thrown out of their department altogether.

Dave, while still able to keep his job as a head doctor, had been bouncing around from hospital to hospital, unable to stay long enough to actually connect with his staff and utilize the young doctors into a stable, working team. When he tried to argue that he couldn't keep transferring from hospital to hospital, as it would affect his performance, Vickie merely snapped at him to not complain before resuming her little make-out session with her new boyfriend, Adam Copeland. Or "Edge," as the bastard liked to call himself.

Dave growled. He fucking hated that blond Canadian asshole. What Vickie ever saw in Edge was beyond Dave's comprehension.

He was currently in a newly opened branch of the Guerrero Hospital line, one that was staffed with mostly new, inexperienced doctors and fellowship applicants fresh out of residency. Very few actually knew what to do in emergencies, and even fewer had any experience to speak of that was worth mentioning, other than himself and Rey Mysterio, who had thankfully (or was it unfortunately?) been transferred along with him.

Half expecting the hand of God to crush the entire hospital for making a mockery out of the Hippocratic Oath, Dave leaned against the wall solemnly, staring at the new doctors in disgust as they celebrated their recent opening with food and drinks.

"This is so fucked up," Dave muttered to Rey, who in turn merely shook his head at the sight of the partying doctors. "We should be prepping, not celebrating. I can't believe Vickie staffed this hospital with these idiots…"

"They're not _all_ bad," Rey argued quietly, his face partially hidden by the surgical mask he perpetually wore. "I mean, Funaki's not that bad as a doctor… compared to the others."

"Wow. One competent fellowship applicant." Dave snorted, and ran a hand over his face. "God, why doesn't Vickie just _fire_ me, already? Unemployment will hurt a lot less than this…"

"Nah, she can't do that. She knows you're too good to let go."

"So she opts for torturing you and me instead?"

"Pretty much."

Dave hung his head in despair. "Ugh…"

Suddenly, a loud, pained wail echoed through the entire room. Dave and Rey looked up, and all of the other doctors stopped partying as a redheaded, leanly muscular woman dragged in a young, dark-haired, pregnant girl who was currently screaming her head off.

"HEY!" the redhead yelled, staring at the party before her with a look of shock and disbelief on her face. "What the fuck is going on? This woman's having a fucking baby, you dumbasses! Where the hell are the doctors?"

"Oh shit." Dave rushed forward to help the pregnant woman to her feet, his eyes widening when he saw her swollen legs.

_Shit…what happened to this poor girl? _

He looked around frantically for a wheelchair, swearing loudly when he couldn't find one. "Hey!" he yelled to Colin Delaney, who was one of the newest and most inexperienced doctors on staff. "Don't just stand there, you idiot! Get me a fucking wheelchair!"

"Y-yes sir!"

Colin rushed off, leaving Dave to curse quietly under his breath. Turning back to the dark-haired woman in his arms, Dave gently pushed a few strands of hair from her face before quietly asking, "Miss, I want you to remain calm, okay? Now, what's your name?"

"J-June Grisham." The woman then whimpered and clutched tightly onto Dave's shirt, her small hands gripping the clothing so intensely that her knuckles turned white. "Help me, doc," she begged, giving him with such a pained look that his heart immediately clenched in pity for her. "Please help…it hurts so much…"

_Fuck…it can't be the girl's first kid, can it? That's just fucking fantastic…_

He looked around the room of now scurrying doctors, and caught sight of Funaki. "Where's Maryse?" he asked the Japanese doctor in fury, just as Colin returned with a wheelchair for the ailing June. "She's in charge of obstetrics and gynecology—where the fuck did she go?"

"I-I think she went out for more drinks, sir," Funaki stammered, rushing to put his scrubs on.

Dave groaned again, before he hurriedly pushed June towards the delivery room. "Don't worry, Miss," he whispered comfortingly to the now nervous looking woman. "We'll help you deliver that baby, even if we have to take down half the hospital with us."

"That's not a very soothing statement, dickhead!" the redhead walking beside them yelled. "Honestly, what's with this place? Is this a hospital or not?"

"_¡Maldición, mujer!_" Rey snapped, already dressed and ready for the delivery. "Please go to the waiting room, ma'am! You're getting in the way!" Grabbing Lita by the arm, he half escorted, half dragged her away from Dave and June, the latter of which wailed for her companion to stay as the large doctor wheeled her past a set of swinging doors.

As he pushed the woman to the room, Dave looked down at the woman grimly. She was the first and only patient in this hospital at the moment, and he would be damned if he let the poor girl suffer a loss just because the hospital was so ridiculously understaffed.

* * *

_Ow! OW! _

_Mommy, stop pushing! STOP PUSHING! What are you trying to do, kick me out of your tummy? Well, screw that! I like it here!_

_You can't make me go! I'll fight you every step of the way, mommy! This is a nice, warm place, and I'll never leave! I'll—hey, what's that bright light over there? Huh?_

_ACK! STOP PUSHING!_

* * *

"Junie…why aren't you back yet?"

Staring helplessly at the clock on the wall, John tried in vain to take his mind off of June's absence by playing video games, reading comics, and watching _Fist of the North Star_. But he grew bored of every single one of these activities, and he instead spent the time eating and watching the clock. Eating and watching the clock. Eating and watching the clock.

He hated being on suspension, and he hated being alone.

Just then, as if the gods had heard his prayers, his phone suddenly rang. John checked the caller ID and nearly leapt in joy at seeing June's name. _Yay! Happy days are here again!_ Opening the phone, he greeted cheerfully, "Hey Junie! Where are you—"

"You fucking son-of-a-bitch!" an unwelcomingly familiar voice shrieked, causing John to yelp in shock and move the phone several feet away from his ear. "What the hell is wrong with you? Where the fuck are you and your fucking friends, anyway? June's in the fucking hospital, having the fucking baby right NOW!"

"WHAT?" Completely loosing his head and cool, John dropped his sandwich to the floor and ran out of the apartment as fast as he could, not even realizing in his haste that he wasn't even properly dressed. "Where is she?" John yelled, his thoughts centered only on June and the baby. "Which hospital is she at?"

"She's at the Guerrero Hospital…the one located near Raw Street and Smackdown Boulevard. What kind of fucking name is that for a street, anyway? Who names these fucking roads?"

"Just tell me how to get there, Lita!" John snapped, jumping into his car and slamming the pedal to the floor as soon as the vehicle was in gear. "I don't know where this hospital is!"

"It's eight blocks from my apartment, you shithead! It's across the street from McDonalds!"

Swerving past a honking truck, John quickly skidded his car to a stop in front of the mentioned hospital and ran inside, running past shrieking nurses as he grabbed the person at the information desk by the collar. "Where's Junie?" he yelled, shaking the poor man back and forth mercilessly. "Where the hell is Junie and my baby?"

"_Your_ baby?"

John whirled around, only to meet the stunned look of Lita. The redhead was, at the very least, shocked at what she had just heard, but the young detective was too full of adrenaline to care about what he had just said. "Lita, where's Junie? I need to see her!"

"Yo!" A young man in scrubs, whose face was half hidden by a surgical mask, ran up to John with an annoyed look in his narrowed eyes. "I'm Dr. Rey. Are you the daddy, man?"

"Yes I am," John said, no longer caring what the others thought. That baby was his, damn it! HIS!

"What the fuck took you so long, man?" Rey snapped. "Your woman was screaming when she came in! Here—" Rey shoved some scrubs into John's arms "—hurry up and get dressed! You can't come into the delivery room wearing dirty jeans, socks, and a wife-beater!"

"What? Oh…" John looked down, and flushed when he finally realized his state of dress. Quickly slipping the scrubs on, he then pulled out his phone and quickly texted a message to Randy and Jeff, telling them what was happening and giving them the address of the hospital.

"She's right through here, man," Rey said, just before pushing John through the doors of the delivery room.

And there, John saw June sitting on a slanted delivery bed, with several nervous looking doctors hovering over her as an Asian man stood between her legs, half crying as he tried to get the baby out. Next to her, John saw a large, muscular, burly looking doctor mopping the sweat from June's brow, telling her that everything was alright, and that she should just keep pushing.

"Oh, GOD!" June shrieked, grasping at the large doctor's hand and squeezing it until the man winced ever so slightly. "It HUUUUURTS! Why won't you come out, Jamie?"

"I-I can see the head!" the Asian doctor cried out. "Keep pushing, ma'am! Keep pushing!" The man then moved, and John got a very _clear_ look at June's vaginal area.

"Oh my god…" was all that escaped John's lips before he promptly passed out on the delivery room floor.

* * *

"What the hell?"

Dave looked up as a loud _thump_ was heard from the other side of the room, and saw a large, muscular Caucasian man lying unconscious on the floor. Turning to Rey, who was staring at the fallen man with a look of disbelief, Dave gritted his teeth and gave the smaller doctor a fierce snarl.

"Rey, what the hell's going on? Who the fuck is that?"

"He said he was the father!" Rey argued, though he sounded a bit ashamed of stating that out loud.

"John!" June wailed, lifting her head up so that she could get a better look at the immobile man. "John! Please, wake up! I don't need this right now!"

"Damn it!" Dave swore, before he turned to Rey. "Get the idiot out of the way, and get him some oxygen! We're kind of busy here!"

"R-right!" As Rey grabbed John and dragged him off to the side, Dave growled and shook his head.

_That chump on the floor is the father? Oh god, I feel so bad for this girl…_

"He's—he's not the father!" June suddenly choked out, looking up at Dave with confused eyes. "I don't know why John would say something like that, but he's not my baby's fa—fa—AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" She screamed as she pushed through another wave of pain, and grabbed helplessly at Dave's shirt. "Oh, Jamie! Please come out! This isn't fun at all for me!"

* * *

"Come on, Matt! Junie's having the fucking baby!"

"Jeff, why are you so hyped up? Junie ain't even your wife, and she ain't even having your baby!"

"JUST HURRY!"

Jeff, still covered with paint from his paintball battle with Matt and Sharon, rushed into the waiting room as fast as he could, dripping fluids of all colors in every direction as he looked around desperately for a doctor or a nurse. "Junie! Junie, where are you, girl?"

"Matt?"

"Lita?"

Jeff stopped, turning around to meet the sight of Matt and Lita staring at one another in shock, their eyes wide as they struggled to take in each other's appearance. "Oh my god," Lita exclaimed, looking up and down the older, paint-covered Hardy brother with a slowly growing grin on her face. "It's been so long, Matt. You look…_great_." Her eyes stopped at the blob of paint that was drying on Matt's behind, and she let out an amused snort.

"Well, I try," Matt said dryly, although he too was giving Lita a interested look over. "You look good, as always. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for June. She's a friend of mine."

"She's my friend too! Well, she's more of Jeff's friend than mine, but still—"

"Can we please get back to Junie?" Jeff yelled, waving his arms in the air as he tried to regain their attention. "Where is she?"

"Sir?" A somewhat disgruntled Spanish doctor in scrubs made his way into the waiting room, and he stared at Jeff and Matt with a wary eye. "I'm Dr. Rey…are either of you here for June Grisham?"

"I am!" Jeff said immediately, stepping towards Rey as he wiped the last of the paint from his hands against the side of his jeans. "Is she okay, doc?"

"That depends. Are you the father?"

"Um…" Jeff blinked, suddenly not able to think clearly due to all of the excitement. "I…I might be," he blurted out uneasily.

"WHAT?" Both Matt and Lita stared at Jeff in surprise, but the rainbow-haired artist ignored them. Even _he_ didn't know what just came out of his mouth…

"Then here!" Rey shoved a new set of scrubs into Jeff's arms, and pointed to the delivery room. "Miss Grisham is in there, so get dressed and go help her!"

"O-okay!" Quickly slipping on the scrubs, Jeff ran into the delivery room, where June was attempting to control her breathing as the frazzled doctors around her tried to keep her calm.

"Damn it, Funaki!" a large, burly doctor yelled, his anger completely directed at the Asian man who stood between June's legs. "She's getting exhausted! How much more does she have to go?"

"The baby won't budge, Dr. Batista!" Funaki wailed. "The head crowned, but that's about it!"

"Jeff!" June cried, reaching out one hand for the rainbow-haired artist as she continued to clutch at the large doctor's hand in the other. "Jeff, I'm so glad you're here! Jamie just won't come out, and it's killing me!"

"Shit…" Jeff went over to June, mopped up her sweat covered face with his sleeve. "Junie, just keep doing the Lamaze breathing we learned. You remember all that shit, right? Breathe in…breathe out…hey, is that Cena?" Jeff blinked at the unconscious form of John lying in the next bed, before he suddenly shrieked in pain—June, in a moment of agony, had reached up and grabbed a fistful of Jeff's rainbow locks, showing absolutely no intention of letting go as she tugged and tugged and _tugged_.

"JAMIE!" she screamed. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET OUT!"

"Ow, ow, ow, OOOOOOW! Junie, let go of my hair!"

"Hey man," Rey scolded as he grabbed more towels for Funaki to use, "that's no way to talk to your woman!"

"W-woman? She ain't my woman! I'm not the father of this kid! OW! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET GO OF MY HAIR, JUNIE!"

* * *

Randy flinched as his cellphone began to vibrate in his back pocket. Reaching behind him, he quickly shut it off, trying to ignore the questioning look that came from his date, Samantha Speno.

"Is something wrong, Randy?" she asked, clinging to his arm as she gave him a worried look. "You seem a bit distant today."

"I-I'm fine," he replied, giving Sam a tense smile. "Just lack of sleep, is all." _No thanks to Miss False Alarm Junie. I hardly got a chance to even shut my eyes last night, thanks to that stupid bitch…_

"Well, I'm just asking," Sam went on, intertwining her fingers with his as she led him through the art gallery. "I mean, we've been here for almost two hours, and you don't seem to be having fun. In fact, you seem really bored."

"I'm having fun!" Randy retorted hotly, though his face became slightly flushed from telling such an outright lie. The truth was, he was more bored than he ever had been in his entire life. He hated art with a passion and wanted nothing more than to smash his foot through every single one of these paintings…but he wasn't about to tell his soon-to-be-girlfriend that. "I love art!"

"Really?" Sam cocked her head curiously at him, and raised a brow. "You sure? Because last time I checked, you couldn't tell a janitor's bucket from a real sculpture, Mr. Randy Orton."

Randy flushed hotly. Sheesh, he made _one_ mistake, and she never let him forget it…what kind of woman did that? However, instead of snapping at her, Randy cleared his throat and gave Sam his most charming smile. "I've been reading up on artwork, my dear, and I assure you, I'm much more knowledgeable about the world of paintings and sculptures than I was before."

"Oh?"

"I mean, look at _that_." Randy stopped in front of what he thought was a lifelike mannequin. "Look at the details of this thing, Sam! I mean, you can see how the artist made the wrinkles in the face, the sagging of the skin, the decrepit rotting of the old man's teeth as he wastes away in his wheelchair…"

Sam's eye twitched, before she turned away, hiding a smile. "Randy?"

"Yes, Sam?"

"…that's not a mannequin. That's a _real_ man in a wheelchair."

"…what?" Randy turned around, and sure enough, the old man had now wheeled towards him, his wrinkled face scrunched up in anger as he held a shaking—was that a _taser_?—in his hand. "Oh fuck…"

"Get back here, you whippersnapper!" the old man shrieked, wheeling as fast as he could towards the now fleeing Randy. "I'll get you for calling me old and decrepit! Come here for your whooping, boy!"

"I'll call you later, Sam!" Randy yelled, trying to avoid the sculptures and people in his way as he threw one last look at the pretty brunette.

"You memorized my number, right?" Sam yelled back.

"Sure!" _My phone did all the memorizing for me, babe. I mean, how hard is it to reach behind my back and press in the numbers while you spoke?_ "I'll call you later!" With that, he ran out of the art gallery, jumping into his car and starting the engine just as the old man wheeled into sight. The Legend Killer then drove off, leaving his pursuer in a cloud of dust as he headed off for the highway.

"YES! Legend Killer: 1, Crazy Old Man: 0." Randy grinned as he sped off through the intersection, finally pulling out his phone as he checked for any messages. There was one text message from John, and as he read it, the Legend Killer's eyes slowly widened. "Oh, shit…"

Junie was having the baby? She was having the baby _now_? WHY? Why couldn't she have done that last night, when he was there and emotionally ready for that brat to pop out?

Without thinking, the Legend Killer swerved his car hard to the right, ducking into the closest exit available as he headed off for Guerrero Hospital.

_Fuck, Junie…why the hell's your timing so fucked up?_

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH!"

The scream that came from the delivery room made his blood curl with fear and apprehension, but Randy forced himself to stay calm as he walked into the waiting room. He saw Matt, Jeff's older brother, sitting in the corner as he talked to the redhead that Randy had met before…her name had been Lita, right? But where was Jeff? And where the hell was John? Out of all people, he expected John to be the first one here…

As he approached them, a short, unhappy looking Spanish doctor burst through the doors, glaring at Randy with so much anger that the Legend Killer actually shrank from the smaller man in fear.

_Shit, man! What the hell did I ever do to you?_

"I'm Rey," the short doctor grunted. "You the father? And be fucking truthful, okay man? I've had two idiots who tried to get into the room to see that poor woman, and they weren't the fathers. Batista's been up my ass for letting them into delivery…"

"Thank god!" Matt said loudly from behind them, only to be shushed by Lita.

"So man? Are you the father?" Rey gave Randy a critical look, and despite his excellent lying abilities, Randy found himself unable to do anything except nod under the doctor's withering glare.

"Thank fucking god," Rey said loudly, and tossed Randy a set of scrubs. "Put those on, keep your mouth shut, and follow me, okay man? I ain't gonna do all this shit again." Grabbing Randy's arm even before the Legend Killer had finished pulling up the green pants, Rey led him to the delivery room.

* * *

"Aieeeeeh! This kid just will not BUDGE, Dr. Batista!"

"I don't care, Funaki! You stay there and deliver this baby!"

Funaki was on the verge of a mental breakdown, but Dave forced him to stay in his position. Maryse _still_ wasn't back yet, and as there was no one else from obstetrics and gynecology, Funaki, the inexperienced fellowship applicant, was all they had.

June looked as if she was about to pass out, but whenever her body started to go limp, Dave squeezed her hand hard, forcing her to stay awake. "Come on, baby," Dave whispered, moving June's hair out of her face as he tried to keep her calm and focused. "You can do this! PUSH!"

"Easy for you to say!" the dark-haired woman gasped, looking up at him with bloodshot eyes. "You're not the one doing this! AAAAAAGGGGH!" She threw her head back and screamed, her free hand now gripping the bed sheets had tightly as she could.

In the corner, Jeff whimpered as he rocked back and forth, trying to massage his hair back into his throbbing scalp while piecing back together the green scrubs that June had torn from his body in a moment of pain-driven rage. "I'm okay," he whispered pathetically to himself. "It's gonna be okay, Nero…"

Just then, another man came in, a tanned, brazen looking young man with wide, stunned blue eyes as he surveyed what was going on around him. "What the hell is going on?" the young man cried, his eyes falling on the broken Jeff and the still unconscious John. He then turned to June, who was still clutching at Dave as if her life depended on it. "Oh, fuck! Junie!"

"R-Randy…" June croaked, her voice hoarse from all of her earlier screaming. As he came towards her, unsure of what to do, the dark-haired woman suddenly shot her free arm out and wrapped it around his neck, tightening her hold around him in a constricting embrace as her face suddenly clenched in concentration. "Oh god…I think it's coming!"

"Ack—Junie—_air_!" Randy tried to loosen her hold around his neck, but with little success.

God, was this how one of his headlocks felt? No wonder people hated it! He'd never put anyone in another headlock again, just so long as June let go of him!

"Ugh…" From the next bed, John suddenly stirred, and struggled to sit up. "J-Junie? Wha' happened?"

Suddenly, June let out one final scream, and shoved both Randy and Dave away from her as she gripped the bed sheets underneath her and began to push with all of her might. It was as if a terrible force was ripping through her, tearing through her every being, but Funaki, who knew that sound, suddenly became focused and intense as he saw the one sight he had been waiting for. The baby was coming into his hands, its bright face screaming at him in outrage as it shrieked blue murder at him.

"You did it, Miss Grisham!" Funaki shouted, his triumph coming clear through his voice despite the heavy accent that accompanied it. Holding the baby in his hands, he held it up for everyone to see. "You did it, ma'am! It's a healthy, beautiful little baby princess!"

* * *

**I have broken my previous record. Twenty-ONE pages!**

**Also, ****I have a new avatar on my profile, one that's supposed to represent June and Jamie! Check it it when you can****! But yeah…Jamie's a girl! I was originally thinking of making Jamie a boy, but so many voted for the baby to be a girl that I just couldn't refuse. **

**Read and review.**


	12. At First Sight

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: I learned that babies can only see up to 18 inches when born, which is just about the distance from a mother's bosom to her face. That is so cool.

**Twelve: At First Sight**

_WAAAAAAAAAAH! _

_This is a mockery, I tellsya! A MOCKERY! One minute I'm inside mommy's tummy, all snug and warm with all the food and comfort I could want…and then, without any warning at all, I'm forced out into this cold, blistering world, and some PERVERT just smacked my butt for no reason at all!_

_Whoever smacked me, you are so lucky I can't see you, or else I'd slap you silly! As soon as I learn how to control my arms, you are gonna get it! Oh god, it is so COLD out here! I'm Frosty the Snowbabe right now! _

…

_What?_

_What do you mean, I'm complaining too much?_

_Hey! If someone you didn't even know just took you out of your nice, secure home without a warning, and forced you to be in this cold, freezing place with no food or shelter, how the hell would you feel?_

…

_I thought so._

_Oh, MOMMY! Where are you?_

* * *

As the baby's wails echoed throughout the delivery room, Randy, the now conscious John, and Jeff (who had finally managed to pull out of his broken down state) stared at the squirming newborn in a mixture of joy and wonder.

Up until this point, Jamie had been nothing more than a picture to them, an intangible object that could be imagined, but never visualized as a real human being. But now, with the tiny baby bawling helplessly right in front of them, they were reduced to speechlessness, their eyes completely glued on little Jamie as June plopped back onto the bed in complete exhaustion, crying silent tears of relief.

"Oh my god," the new mother whispered, a huge smile spreading across her face despite her fatigue. "Jamie…my little girl…"

Funaki, who had taken up a pair of scissors, smiled as he held it out towards Randy. "Would you like to cut the cord, sir?" the Japanese doctor asked, gesturing towards the umbilical cord that still attached Jamie to June.

The Legend Killer blinked, unsure of what to do, before he quickly turned to the still dazed Jeff. "You do it, Hardy," he said, pushing the rainbow-haired artist towards the scissors. "I can't do shit like that."

"Oh. Right, then…" Jeff gulped before he took the scissors into his trembling hands, carefully cutting the cord as Jamie faintly began to wail again.

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Daddy Jeff, was that you? THAT HURT! I needed that cord, you jerk!_

The doctors quickly weighed Jamie and cleaned her up before wrapping the tiny, shrunken body in thick white towels. Dave then carefully laid Jamie in June's waiting arms, stepping aside and smiling as he watched the dark-haired woman gently brush her fingertips across the her daughter's plump red cheek.

"Hello my darling," June said softly, grasping one of the baby's flailing little fists in her hand before pressing a kiss against the tiny fingers. "Don't cry, Jamie. Mommy's here. Mommy's here…"

The three men, along with Dave Batista, were still somewhat overwhelmed by the experience. After the hours of screaming, fainting, hair-pulling, and neck-choking, the woman before them was simply lying peacefully on the bed with a small smile on her face, and it amazed them all to see how relaxed and content she and the baby were.

The knees of all four men were still shaking, despite the grins on their faces.

In the meantime, Jamie had looked up at the sound of June's soft voice, her eyes finally focusing as she stared into the brown eyes of her tired, disheveled mother. _Oh my god, mommy! What happened to you? I always imagined you'd be pretty, but right now you look like something that came from the night of the living dead!_

Unaware of her child's inner thoughts, June simply laughed as she pulled the newborn even closer to her bosom. "So, my love. I guess you're the one who's been kicking me, eh?"

_Well, you're the one who ate all that spicy food, mommy. So it's technically all your fault!_

"My sweet…little…angel…" June's eyes then rolled back into her head, and her entire body went limp. The entire room went into a panic as Rey ushered the protesting men out, while Dave and Funaki tried their best to wake June up.

"Ma'am! Ma'am, open your eyes! You have to stay awake! MA'AM!"

* * *

Later on, upon heavy recollection, June decided that they shouldn't have worried so much.

They should have realized that she had been tired from the beginning. She had been in labor for _hours_, and the whole ordeal had been so physically draining that it wasn't all that surprising when she ended up passing out just a few minutes after she had held Jamie in her arms.

Of course, Randy, Jeff, and John would have said otherwise. But they were _men_, so what did they know about the pains of childbirth?

Still…her sleep was a troubled one. She felt as if she was moving along the edges of dreams she couldn't recall, but one kept replaying in her mind over and over and over again. This was a dream she had experienced before, during the night she learned of Todd's death. As if she was in slow motion, June heard the honking of a truck horn, saw a flash of light so blinding that she felt it eat away at her corneas, saw the truck speeding towards her and her baby until she shook herself nearly awake, and then floated away to a place too black for dreams.

_You have to let him go, Junie_, her mind whispered.

_It's too soon!_

_You have to move on…_

_I don't want to. I can't. It's only been a few months, and I still need him…_

June awoke to the smell of bacon the very next morning, and found herself looking into a pair of dark brown eyes set in a face that looked as if it came straight out of a painting of a Greek god.

"Good morning," the man said cheerfully as he set a breakfast tray onto her lap. His smile seemed to stretch from ear to ear, and his eyes seemed to disappear into a smooth mound of tanned flesh. "How are you feeling today, Mrs. Grisham? Better, I hope?"

"I-I'm doing well…" _Oh my_, she thought, feeling the beginnings of a blush creep up her pale cheeks._ This is a good looking man. A __**ridiculously**__ tall, good looking, muscular man, one who was standing over me while I was asleep. Am I in heaven?_

Strangely, what caught June's attention the most were the man's lips. He had the most perfect mouth she had ever seen. His lips looked soft, satiny and unpainted, and for a second she had the urge to reach up and brush the tips of her fingers against the man's mouth.

They reminded her of Todd's lips.

_Todd…_

Oh dear lord. What was she _thinking_? She shouldn't be having thoughts like those about this man, or any man, for that matter. It wasn't fair to Todd. What kind of wife was she? She was a slut! A whore! A SHE-SKANK!

"Are you alright?" the man asked, giving her a worried look. June realized that she had been staring at him for too long and quickly averted her gaze, trying to ignore the sudden hotness in her cheeks.

"I-I'm fine! I'm absolutely fine…"

"Oh, good. Now my associates have something to tell your friends. They've been stalking the entire hospital for hours, asking about you and the baby." The doctor paused as he took her temperature, smiling when the reading came out normal.

Now she remembered him. He was the kind doctor who had held her hand throughout the entire labor, the one she had clung to so grievously while she had screamed continuously in pain. Inwardly, she grinned—who knew that handsome male bodybuilders became doctors in this day and age? It just meant that he was more dedicated than the normal flock…however, there was still a problem. Although she recognized him by appearance, still she couldn't remember his name.

_Some grateful patient you are, Junie_, her mind wracked her brains, trying to place a label to the man's handsome face, almost groaning out loud when she failed to do so.

As if he could read her mind, the man said quickly, "I'm Dr. David Batista, by the way. I would have introduced myself to you yesterday, but you were _slightly_ preoccupied, if I recall correctly."

"Oh gosh…" June smiled nervously. _Slightly _preoccupied? That was certainly the understatement of the year. "Please forgive me. Yesterday wasn't necessarily one of my…err…better days, Dr. Batista. I hope you don't think of me as an idiotic screamer, because I'm not."

Noting her discomfort, Dave immediately waved a hand in the air in dismissal. "Don't worry about it, Mrs. Grisham. My ex-wife was just as much a screamer as you were when she was pregnant with my two girls. Well, to be honest—" here Dave let out an embarrassed chuckle "—she was far more uncooperative than you were. She wouldn't let anyone near her during delivery, which made the whole labor process _that_ much more uncomfortable for me…"

"Good heavens," June muttered, imagining the entire scenario in her head and not liking the results one bit. "Well, at least your kids were born healthy and happy, right? That's the important thing." She removed the warmer cover from her breakfast tray, took one look at the contents, and made a face.

And she thought that the food from the _other_ hospital was bad. Just how was she supposed to deal with cold oatmeal, limp toast, and warm Jell-O? Who even ate Jell-O in the mornings, anyway?

"If you intend to eat the oatmeal," Dave said, giving her a warning glance, "then you might want to add this in there." He pulled out several packets of sugar from his pocket and placed them on the breakfast tray.

June blinked, and cocked her head curiously at the doctor. "You just randomly carry around packets of sugar with you everywhere, Dr. Batista?"

Dave held his hands in the air defensively. "Hey, in this hospital, where sugar is always running out in the break room, it's in a doctor's best interest to carry his own supply. Especially when he happens to drink five cups of coffee a day."

"Really? Is that even healthy, sir?"

"Well…" The doctor sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. "It's needed, considering what goes on behind closed doors around here. So…you gonna eat or what?"

Dave quickly gestured to the bowl of oatmeal, which June then pushed away with a grimace. "No thank you, doctor. But…I thought I smelled bacon."

"Hmm? Oh, that's my cologne. Musk of Bacon." Dave then laughed, a laugh that began deep in his chest, and then rolled across his tongue and out his perfect mouth. "Just kidding," he chuckled, his large chest heaving as he regained his breath. "My daughter fried bacon for me this morning. Guess I wore the smell to work."

"Well, you smell delicious," June said playfully, giving his arm a little poke. "Lend me a perfume that smells like that, will you? Bacon is my third favorite food in the world."

Dave raised an amused brow. "What are the first two then, Mrs. Grisham?"

"Now we're getting personal, Dr. Batista," June scolded, waggling a finger in the way a mother would to her child. Still, a giggle escaped from the dark-haired woman's lips at the sour look that crossed the larger man's features, and she dropped the motherly attitude. "Oh, don't fret, sir! I was only kidding…but honestly? I _would_ like to go and see my baby. Is it okay for me to do that, doctor?"

Dave frowned. "I really think you should rest. Besides, your daughter is in very good hands. Dr. McCool is one of the best pediatricians we have." Of course, she was also one of the few competent doctors in the hospital, but Dave would rather drop dead than admit that to his already weakened patient…

"…please, Dr. Batista? Can't I go see my little Jamie just for a few minutes?" June gave Dave her sweetest smile, one that completely melted the annoyed glare on the doctor's face.

Sighing, Dave moved the breakfast tray aside and peeled the covers back, helping June ease out of bed and up on her feet. "Fine, but only for a few minutes. After that, it's straight back to bed for you, missy."

June grinned, and gave the large doctor her best Girl Scout salute. "Yes sir, Dr. Batista sir."

"Hmph! Remember, just take your time. I'm more worried about _you_ than your baby. If you feel too shaky, let's put you back down for a few minutes."

"No, I'm okay. But…" June motioned to the IV pole uncertainly. "How am I supposed to move with this attached to my body?"

"No problem," Dave replied, smoothly grabbing the pole with his free hand. "We'll just wheel it to the nursery with you." Holding June's arm, he slowly helped her across the floor, making sure she kept her balance as they made their way towards the pediatrics hall.

* * *

_Who the hell are those three nincompoops in front of me? Surely they aren't my three daddies, are they?_

…

_Oh my god, they ARE? Spirits above, how could you play such a cruel, practical joke on me? What have I done to deserve such a fate? Sure, they're all handsome…but they're poopoo heads!_

_Hey doctor lady, mind putting me back down so I can sleep? I don't particularly like being held up like a piece of meat in front of three idiots who are making faces at me. What do they want from me anyway?_

_They want me to smile and laugh? Forget it! I'm tired, and all I want is my mommy right now. The faces they're making aren't even that funny anyway._

_God, they're still here? They're so annoying! Especially that guy with the buzz cut!_

* * *

"Jamie, look over here! Jamie! _Jamie! _JAMIE!"

"Cena, would you shut up?" Jeff snapped, whacking the young detective hard upside the head. "You're gonna wake up the whole fucking floor!"

"Who're we gonna wake up?" John retorted defensively, rubbing the spot where Jeff had slapped him. "Jamie and Junie are the only ones in this goddamn hospital—we can be as loud as we want!"

The rainbow-haired artist snorted, holding his camera phone in front of him as he carefully positioned the angle for a good shot of Jamie. "You have no courtesy at all, you know that, Cena? It's no wonder why Orton and I get more chicks than you."

"EXCUSE ME? I get plenty of women, thank you very much!"

"Uh-huh." Jeff simply rolled his eyes, and snapped the picture of Jamie just as the baby opened its little mouth to yawn. "I'm just glad Junie's okay, though. She scared the shit out of me when she just passed out like that."

"I know." John's smile slowly faded as he remembered the limp form of the woman he adored lying motionlessly on the bed. "God, I just wish they'd let us see her. I tell you, if I married her, I would never have let her get into such terrible conditions."

"Yeah, right," Orton sneered condescendingly at the young detective, pausing occasionally to wave sweetly at the nonplussed Jamie. "I pity whatever girl's stupid enough to fall for you. The last one you dated…her name was Torrie or something, wasn't it? Didn't she like, break up two days after she slept with you?"

"You trying to start something, Orton?" John growled, trying his hardest not to lash out at his supposed best friend in front of the baby. _**My**__ baby_, John reminded himself. _That's __**my**__ little girl in that room…that's __**my**__ little girl squirming in Dr. McCool's arms…that's __**my**__ little girl spitting up on—ew, okay, that's enough of that._

Meanwhile, Randy merely sighed and took a long drink from his cup of coffee. "Cena, it's nine in the fucking morning. I do not have the strength to argue with you right now."

"Fuck you."

"That's what your mom said to me a few years ago."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"So guys!" Jeff said quickly, attempting to break up the mounting tension between the two men. "Who do you think Jamie resembles the most? And be honest—no playing diplomat here."

The Legend Killer threw Jeff an annoyed look. "What the hell are you talking about, Hardy? The kid looks like Junie, end of question. I mean, it's got her dark hair, her brown eyes—"

"And her sweet smile," John added, a shit-eating grin spreading across his handsome features. "God, just look at her. Jamie's perfect! I feel like my heart's gonna burst out of my chest…"

Randy chuckled. "Well, I'll admit…the kid is pretty cute for a brat."

"I'll say." Jeff then stared hard at Jamie, and rubbed his chin. "I can't help but wonder, though…who do you think she belongs to?"

"She's mine, of course," John said without hesitation. "Jamie is _my_ baby, end of story."

"Would you stop saying that?" Jeff shrieked, kicking John hard in the shin as he ignored the young detective's sudden yelp of pain. "There ain't no way Jamie's your kid! Besides…you see the way the girl's been grinning at me from the beginning? It's obvious that the baby likes me the best!"

"What?" John stared at Jeff in shock. "Since when did you care about being Jamie's father? I thought you just wanted to be the _uncle_."

"Cena, that was then, this is now. Besides…how can any decent soul on this planet look at Jamie's little face and deny that she is the cutest thing to ever grace their eyes?"

"True. And that's why she's MY baby, Hardy!"

"Hypothetically speaking," Randy cut in, "Jamie seems to be too calm and collected to be one of _your_ brats. I mean, ever since delivery, the kid hasn't cried even once. That's clearly a trait she would have gotten from me…_if_ she's mine."

Jeff and John both arched their brows at the Legend Killer. "Excuse me, Orton?" John said slowly, not quite believing what he was hearing. "Are you…are you actually admitting to the possibility that Jamie might be your kid?"

"NO!" Randy snapped, glaring daggers at the unflinching young detective. "I am NOT admitting to anything! I'm just stating _hypothetically _that if Jamie was mine, then she'd obviously take after me!"

"Well, you don't have to worry about that," John replied snootily, "because Jamie just happens to be mine! Just look at those rosy cheeks! I used to have those same rosy cheeks when I was little!"

"And how would you know?" Jeff interrupted, getting more than a bit frustrated at Cena's claims. "Jamie could just as easily be my kid—and all babies have rosy cheeks, dumbass! How the hell can you even base your claims on Jamie based on that?"

"It's called paternal instinct, Hardy, something you and Orton seem to constantly lack!"

"WHY YOU—"

"Ahem!" A new voice suddenly cut through the argument, and all three men turned to see Lita standing behind them, her arms crossed deftly over her chest as she gave each of the men a cocky, but strained, smirk.

And here, the hearts of Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy, and John Cena froze on the spot.

_Oh shit_, they thought. _How much of our fight did Lita hear?_

Reading their faces quickly, the redhead chuckled and leaned against an adjacent wall. "Oh, I heard enough," she drawled lazily, drinking in the terrified reactions of the three men. "I sort of figured that something was going on when you all said you were the father yesterday. So, what's the story, guys? Did all three of you sleep with June when Todd Grisham's back was turned, or what? Although I must admit…" Lita then frowned, and gave the men a hard glare. "I never took the kiddo for the slutty type."

"JUNIE IS NOT A SLUT!" the three men screamed simultaneously, sending Lita scurrying back a good five feet.

"There is a perfectly logical explanation for this, okay?" Jeff yelled, glaring coldly at Lita. "Todd, our dearest dead friend in the world, happened to have problems with his sperm, so we ended up giving him our own sperm when we got drunk."

"But then we changed our minds at the last second and told him not to use it," John continued. "We told him not to use our sperm, and he said he wouldn't…"

"And then the bastard went behind our backs," Randy went on angrily, "mixed our sperms together, and using in-vitro fertilization, got Junie pregnant! Now we don't know who the father is, and the only person who might know is dead!"

For a long, _long_ time, there was a moment of silence. Then, Lita placed a hand on her forehead and looked away from the three men.

"Oh my fucking god," she mumbled. "I think I got a headache from hearing all that. You fucking call that explanation _logical_, Jeff?"

Jeff shrugged. "Well…yeah."

"How the hell can something like that even happen in real life? And does June even _know _about the sperm problem?" Lita pressed on, glaring at the three in obvious irritation. "Does she know that the kid belongs to one of you, or is she in the freaking dark about this?"

"Um…" The three men exchanged uncomfortable glances, before a small, timid voice suddenly sounded from around the corner.

"Dr. Batista, I think I can walk by myself now."

"Mrs. Grisham, your legs are still swollen, and as a doctor—"

"—as a doctor you're worrying far too much!"

"Oh crap." The three men looked around frantically, jumping all over the place in a panic before they each rounded on Lita with death glares on their faces.

"Listen you," Randy snarled, "I don't care who you are or how close you _think_ you are to Junie. If you even _mention_ about us being the dads, I will make you regret it."

"Huh? Regret what, Randy?" June finally rounded the corner and stared at the Legend Killer with a confused look on her face, not realizing that everyone in the area suddenly seemed tense. "For crying out loud, Dr. Batista and I could hear you guys arguing from all the way down the hall!"

"You could?" Jeff yelped, his face immediately paling to the color of sour milk. "Oh sweet Jesus, what did you hear, Junie?"

The dark-haired woman blinked, noticing the break in Jeff's normally calm behavior. "Well…I didn't actually _hear_ what you guys said, but I could definitely hear fighting. What were you guys arguing about, anyway?"

"Um…" Jeff and John stared at each other in a panic, before Randy suddenly cleared his throat and pointed tensely at two janitors at the end of the hall.

"You…you see that fat blond guy with the midget?" the Legend Killer said to June, who craned her neck to the side to get a better view. "Well, we were just discussing whether or not the midget looks like John, that's all."

"HEY!" John protested loudly. "That midget does NOT look like me, Orton!"

"See, Junie? That's all we were talking about…nothing more…" From behind him, Lita snorted in contempt, an act that earned her a warning glare from Randy, but went completely unnoticed by June. The dark-haired woman instead went up to the window of the nursery room, watching with a sad smile as Jamie lay sleeping in her bed, suckling contently on a pacifier.

"Isn't she precious?" June whispered, pressing a hand against the cold glass. "I think I can just stare at her forever and ever and never get bored."

"Kiddo…" Lita paused, biting her lip nervously before she slowly stepped forward, ignoring the frantic motions from Randy, Jeff, and John for her to stay back. "Kiddo, there's something you should—no, there's something you _need_ to know—"

"Jamie looks a lot like Todd, doesn't she?" June went on, smiling as Jamie dropped her pacifier and began waving her little arms around in an attempt to find it. "She's all I have left of him. I'm going to love her with every bit of motherly energy that I have in my body. It would have been so nice, though, if Todd had been here to see Jamie too…"

Lita stopped, unable to finish her sentence. Next to her, Randy, Jeff, and John exchanged uncomfortable glances.

"I just know he would have loved her, Miss Lita. Todd loved me and Jamie so much..." The dark-haired woman sniffed, and quickly wiped away a tear. "I know I shouldn't cry, but I can't help it. He would have been such a wonderful father!"

"Kiddo…"

"I'm sorry, Miss Lita. Here I am, babbling away when you were about to tell me something."

"Um…" Lita hesitated, before she forced a big smile on her face and placed a comforting hand on June's shoulder. "It's nothing, kid! I just wanted to congratulate you on getting that little brat out of the womb!"

"Oh!" June gave the older woman a watery grin. "Thank you, Miss Lita. For a moment there, I thought you had some bad news for me."

"What?" Here, Jeff weaved his way in between Lita and June and wrapped his arms around the dark-haired woman's middle, skillfully guiding her away from the redhead as he distracted June with a charming grin. "Don't be ridiculous, Junie! Bad news? What bad news could there possibly be on such a wonderful day? We gots a new addition to our little extended family, and things can't get any better!"

"Yeah!" John agreed, embracing June from her other side. "We should celebrate! We'll get Jamie some new clothes, some toys, maybe a little champagne for us grown-ups…" The young detective winked at June, which made the dark-haired woman giggle and blush profusely.

"So, when are you and Jamie allowed to come home anyway, Junie?" Randy asked, scowling at the sight of Jeff and John hanging all over the dark-haired woman. "You guys gonna come back in a few days, or weeks, or what?"

"The baby," a new, deeper voice said sternly, "is in perfect condition and can be released after three days." Just then, a _very _tall, _very_ muscular man in a white lab coat joined the group from the shadows, his facial features dark with displeasure as he stepped beside June and all but yanked her out of Jeff and John's embrace. Turning to the three men, the large doctor gave each of them a rather uncomfortable, forced smile. "I'm Dr. Batista. And since I know that none of you gentlemen are the father of little Jamie, what relationship do you have to Mrs. Grisham?"

There was no denying the underlying coldness in Batista's tone, and one thought ran clear through the minds of all three men.

_DAMN! What the hell is this guy's problem?_

"We're Junie's _friends_," John spoke up, his voice angered and unpleasant as he stepped forward until he was eye to eye with the older man. "And as her _friends_, we're entitled to know about her health and her wellbeing and whatnot. Isn't that what _friends _are supposed to do, doc? Look out for one another?"

"I suppose," Dave replied quietly through a tight-lipped smile. "However, normal _friends_ don't pretend to be the father of their _friend's_ baby just to see their _friend_ deliver the previously mentioned baby. Normal _friends_ tend to wait in the waiting room…"

By this point, John was almost nose to nose to Dave, and it looked as if both men were about a hair's width away from beating the crap out of one another. Not wanting a brawl to break out, especially when Jamie was so close by, June hurriedly coughed and grabbed Dave by the arm.

"Dr. Batista, I'm tired," she said quickly, pulling hard at his arm as she tried to steer him away from John. "Could you please take me back to my room…please?"

"Of course."

This signaled the end of the visit, and the three men plus Lita were then escorted by hospital security to the exit, despite all of John's howling protests.

* * *

"Who the hell does that bastard think he is?" John roared as he and the others entered their apartment. Grabbing a nearby bottle of water, he unscrewed the cap angrily and gulped down half of the contents in one swing. "DAMN IT! That Batista can't just throw us out like that! We're Junie's friends!"

Jeff sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. "Well, to be honest, we did kind of lose points with the hospital staff when we all said we were Jamie's daddy."

"But I AM Jamie's daddy!"

"Shut up, Cena. As I was saying...try to look at it from the hospital's point of view. Wouldn't _you_ get freaked out if three guys came in, all saying that they were the daddy of one baby?"

"…"

"…"

Randy snorted, and averted his gaze. "I never actually _said_ I was the daddy," the Legend Killer grumbled. "I just happened to move my head the wrong way, and that short Spanish shrimp of a doctor misunderstood me. That's not my fault."

"Can it, Orton," John snapped, attempting and failing to throw his water bottle at Randy's head. "You know, it's guys like you that give the guys who actually _want_ kids a bad name. You make women think we're unreliable."

"But Cena," Randy said as-a-matter-of-factly, "_you_ are the unreliable one. Remember what happened to Liz?"

"Liz? Oh yeah…but I can explain—"

"And Torrie," Jeff added nonchalantly.

"Now that wasn't my—"

"And Layla."

"And Candice."

"And Sharmell."

"And Cherry."

"And—"

"ALRIGHT, I GET IT!" John shrieked loudly, causing Jeff's dog to yelp with fright and run off to the other room. "I suck with my relationships, I get it! You don't have to rub it in! But…" John sighed, and rubbed a hand over his face. "Junie's just so _different_ from those types of women…"

Jeff shook his head sympathetically. "Of course Junie's different. She's been there for us since we was two, and Orton ever since he was fucking born. Of course she's _different_…"

"The let's show her how we feel." Randy grinned at the two other men, his bright blue eyes shining intensely with mischief and excitement. "That asshole doctor said that she and Jamie would be released in three days, right? So we'll throw her a surprise. When she comes home, we'll give her a party, take her out to a nice restaurant, the works. That'll definitely cheer her up, and we can spend some time with the baby. As _uncles_," the Legend Killer added quickly, not at all ready to take up the title of _daddy_ just yet.

John and Jeff stared at Randy in shock. "Orton…" Jeff began.

"You're a genius!" John finished, giving Randy a congratulatory (but still quite painful) slap on the back.

"Ow…"

* * *

"You didn't have to be so rough with them," June muttered to Dave as they walked towards her room. "They're not the best at showing it, but the boys mean well…"

Dave snorted quietly in disbelief. "Do you mind if I speak my mind for a moment?"

"Not at all."

"Well, I think those _friends_ of yours are a bit strange. I've never known men to be so caring about other people's babies, nor have I ever seen men care about a woman so…platonically before."

June scoffed, before she swatted Dave lightly on the arm. "I've known them since childhood, doctor! They grew up with me, and they were my husband's best friends…they're practically like brothers to me."

"I see."

Was it her imagination, or did Dave suddenly seem much more content? June tried to take a closer look at the large doctor's face, but when she blinked, his countenance seemed to have returned to normal.

_Good lord, I'm imagining things now. _

"I know I said earlier that Jamie is ready to be released in a few days," Dave said suddenly, jerking June out of her thoughts. "However, I must insist that we keep _you_ here for a few more days."

"What? Me?" June yelped, staring up at Dave in shock. "But why?"

"Your leg swelling bothers me. I looked at them yesterday, and what I've seen isn't normal. I think that—"

"Dr. Batista!" June gave the much taller, much larger doctor an annoyed glare, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting childishly as she stared down a man who would have had many other men curling on the floor in fear if they ever attempted to do to him what June was doing right now. "Honestly, doctor, I'm fine! You don't have to hover over me like a—like a busy little bee all the time!"

Dave knew that June was sincerely angry with him, but in all honesty, at the moment she looked about as intimidating as a fluffy bunny rabbit, and it took all he had not to laugh right there and then. _That's her best insult? Oh, this is rich… _"A busy little bee, Mrs. Grisham?"

"Yes you! You're just a busy little bee…bug…thing." June stuck her tongue out at him, not caring at all how silly or immature she looked.

"Mrs. Grisham," he said in the most serious voice he could muster, "in all fairness, I am an expert in physical medication and rehabilitation, and I know when something's wrong with a patient's body. I seriously think you should consider staying a few more days."

"But…" June paused, biting her lip nervously. "Is the price of my hospital bill going to go up if I stay for whatever treatment you have for me?"

"Well…" Dave blinked. "Well _yes_, but—"

"How much more is it going to cost?"

"Maybe another thousand, but insurance covers that easily—"

"I don't have insurance, Dr. Batista" June interrupted; her pale face now flushed a deep red from embarrassment. "Also, I don't think I have the funds to pay for an extended stay."

"Mrs. Grisham, your health isn't something that can be ignored on the basis of money! If you want, I can arrange something so that—"

"I said that it's fine, Dr. Batista." June sighed, and rubbed her aching temples. "Besides, I already know what condition I have, and I can deal with it. I've had Lymphedema since childhood; if it hasn't destroyed my mobility in the last thirty years, I think I'll be okay for another thirty."

Dave gave June a look of stunned disbelief. "But…Mrs. Grisham…"

The dark-haired woman then laughed, linking her arm around Dave's in a playful, innocent manner. "Don't worry so much, doctor! I know how to deal with things like this, so it's not a problem. I'll have you know I was a medical assistant for one of the best physical therapists in this city before I got pregnant! If I have problems, I can massage the pain away!"

"Really?" Dave commented, raising an amused brow. "You studied medicine? I never expected that."

"Uh-huh! So don't you worry about me, okay? Just focus on my daughter—she's the only one I'm worried about right now, anyway."

"Of course."

As they finally reached her room, June gave the doctor a thoughtful gaze. "Can I ask you something, Dr. Batista?"

"What is it?"

"You know, as a new mother, I can't help but wonder how strange this whole experience is."

"What do you mean?" Dave asked curiously as he opened the door to let June inside.

"I've only met Jamie officially yesterday. I've only held her in my arms for two minutes…and I'm already completely in love her." June chuckled and looked up at the older man with a small smile. "To fall in love with someone you've only just met…it's love at first sight between parents and their babies, isn't it? But it sounds like something from a cheesy romance movie…"

"Oh, I don't know," Dave said quietly, carefully holding onto June's arm as he helped her lay down on her bed. "It happens quite often in life. Love at first sight….it's more common than people think."

"I suppose," June replied, giggling. "I mean, if that weren't true, we would have a lot of unloved babies! I mean, I've only seen Jamie in person for less than a day, and I already feel as if I could travel to the moon for her…"

"Oh. Right." Dave frowned. That wasn't what he meant at all, but…whatever kept his patient happy was really all that mattered in the end.

* * *

**I know this update took a while, but I was sick…and I still am sick. Plus, for some reason, writing this was a pain in the behind…so if the chapter sucks (which I heavily suspect that it DOES), you have my sincerest apologies.**

**By the way, what's your opinion of June and Jamie? Just for thought. **

**Read and review.**


	13. Waiting

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirteen: Waiting**

_I don't get it. I don't get it and…I don't like it._

_This whole "being born" thing…what's so freaking great about it? If it were up to me, I'd stay in mommy's womb forever! You don't have to move much, you get fed whenever you want, and it's forever warm and comfy in there! _

_I'll say it again. What is so freaking great about being born?_

_And if I HAVE to be born (because I know that some of you people reading this will find some way to fight against my perfectly laid out argument) then why can't I at least have my own room in this hospital place? _

_I really don't understand why I can't have my own room. I mean, after I was taken out of mommy's tummy, this doctor lady put me in this nice, big room that I had all to myself. Sure, it was a bit large for me, and I really wanted to be with my mommy and daddies, but still, I liked having my own room. It's all nice and quiet and a perfect place to go nap-nap._

_And then, out of NOWHERE, that doctor lady starts bringing in these other chumps who just won't stop crying!_

_HEY! Doctor lady! I'm the only baby allowed around here, okay? Get those other whiny, piney babies out of here! There's only room for one newborn infant in this hospital, and her name is Jamie Grisham-Orton-Hardy-Cena!_

_I tellsya…you spend nine months trying to get out, and the rest of your life trying to get back in._

* * *

June tried her best to feel otherwise, but in the end, she just couldn't bring herself to like Melina.

Melina Perez was the floor nurse, and was the one who "supervised" June in between visits from the doctor. She was a rather busty young woman, considerably attractive and no doubt pretty in the eyes of a public who saw nothing but a woman's external beauty. Still, June couldn't help but think that Melina would have passed for _beautiful_ had it not been for that constant look of contempt on her face.

This look was one that June always seemed to be the recipient of. It was one that always made the dark-haired woman tremble in fright—Melina's lips were set in a perpetual scowl, as if she was constantly in a bad mood, and her eyes were cutting and ruthless, holding a strange fire to them that would have sent the young mother screaming for the hills had she not been confined to the hospital bed.

It shouldn't have bothered her so much, but it did. June _knew_ what sort of look Melina was giving her. She had seen it before. On the faces of clerks as they watched welfare mothers count out their food stamps. In the eyes of some teachers when kids lined up for free school lunches. Behind the tight smiles of secretaries who mechanically explained to her father that the water couldn't be turned on again until the bill was paid.

_Worthless_, the eyes said. _You and your kind are nothing but worthless pieces of shit that shouldn't even be bothered with._

But what alarmed June the most was that Melina's dislike of her, although apparent enough to begin with, intensified whenever the nurse found the dark-haired woman in the company of Dave "The Animal" Batista.

…_what kind of nickname is "The Animal," anyway? He's been nothing but a complete gentleman to me…_

June found it to be completely unfair. The doctor, on his own, had developed a habit of popping into her room whenever he had a break to chat with her. He'd ask how her legs were, if she walked to go for a walk to stretch her muscles out, if she wanted to see Jamie, and so on…and while the times spent together were enjoyed by both parties, whenever Melina walked in, the glares she gave them became icy enough to bring forth a second Ice Age, and June would end up becoming so uncomfortable that Dave eventually had to leave the room.

Honestly, June didn't know how much more of the floor nurse she could stand.

On this particular day, Melina had brought in with a breast pump so that they could feed Jamie with June's milk. Wincing slightly, the dark-haired woman slowly reached under her hospital gown and felt her sore breasts. The nurse had been rough and uncaring when she handled June's breasts, and the pump had been cold and hard against her tender nipples. When they didn't produce much milk, Melina had been more than a little irritated.

Finally, the nurse left June to manage the pump by herself, but the young mother didn't have any better luck. After twenty fruitless minutes, June was left with aching breasts, no milk for the baby, and a nurse who seemed to be on a warpath with her for reasons the poor girl didn't even understand.

And then Dave had come into the room.

"Feeling okay today, Mrs. Grisham?" he had asked, giving her a smile as he set a new pitcher of fresh ice water by her bedside. "Your legs aren't still swollen, are they?"

Caught off guard by his question and his sudden, unexpected appearance in her room, she wasn't quite sure how to react. Then, she slowly managed to shake her head. "N-no…I'm okay. Just having a bit of trouble with Jamie's feeding—eep!"

She yelped when he suddenly knelt down in front of her and brushed his hands against her legs. She could feel his fingers digging into the swelling muscles there, could hear his low growls of displeasure, and it took all of her efforts not to whimper with pain and humiliation.

_Ack! I didn't mean to lie! Please don't be upset, Dr. Batista…_

"You shouldn't lie about your physical ailments, Mrs. Grisham," Dave said quietly, his tone oddly gentle and soothing despite the scolding undertones that hid beneath. Lifting the hem of her gown until it was just over her knees, he scowled at the swollenness he found there. "You _can't_ lie about these things. You have a daughter to think about now, not to mention all the worry you're going to cause those who care about you."

June blushed and looked away as Dave carefully began to massage her knees. "It's just stress," she mumbled. "And the swelling usually goes away pretty quickly…" She noticed that his large hands, once again smelling of bacon, were warm against her flesh.

Sliding his hands down her calves, Dave frowned when he saw the dark-haired woman flinch in discomfort. _Shit_, he thought, unaware that his fingers were lingering on her soft skin a little longer than necessary._ This isn't good, no matter how you look at it. _"Mrs. Grisham, I know I've said this before, but I must recommend that—"

"I'm not extending my stay."

"But Mrs. Grisham—"

"Feh!" Pursing her lips in annoyance, June pulled her legs out of the doctor's grasp and swung them sharply back onto the bed. Reaching downward, she began to massage her legs in the exact same manner that Dave had been touching them, rotating her knuckles and pressing into nerve areas with such precision that it left the other man somewhat speechless.

"As you can see, Dr. Batista," June went on, running her hands up and down her swollen legs, "I know what to do in cases like these. Like I said before—" she grinned at the so-called Animal (she still couldn't get over that nickname, for in her eyes, Dr. Batista was just a big old teddy bear) "—I was once a medical assistant for one of the best physical therapists in this city. Have a little more faith in me, sir…I know what I'd doing."

Dave stared at the woman before him in a strange mixture of awed disbelief, before he chuckled deeply and placed a hand on June's shoulder. "Well ma'am…far be it for me to go against your wishes, especially since you seem to know a little more than some of our own interns here. But still…" His grip tightened on her shoulder, and he gave her a concerned look. "Please consider my offer to stay a little longer and let me and my team have a look at your legs. You're my first patient in this hospital, and I'd hate for something to happen to you."

"I'll be fine," June insisted, reaching up to pat Dave's hand with her smaller, softer ones. "Once Jamie's ready to go, that's my cue to head on home."

"Well…if you're sure." Giving June's shoulder one final squeeze, Dave left the room, leaving the young mother feeling much more relaxed and comfortable than before.

When June tried the breast pump again a few minutes later, she was astonished to see that her milk now flooded the jar.

* * *

"I hate balloons," Jeff whined as he stared at the _hundreds_ of unfilled balloons in front of him, all waiting to be filled with air. "Why can't we just get one of them helium tanks, damn it? It'll be so much easier on my poor, abused lungs…"

"That shit costs money," Randy snapped, before blowing hard into a balloon of his own. "I am _not_ spending a hundred bucks on renting a tank when we could just as easily blow up the balloons ourselves for free."

"Lousy fucking cheapskate," John said from the other side of the room. "This is supposed to be Junie and Jamie's special day, and you're ruining it by being a cheap asshole, Orton!"

"Cena, was I talking to you? Just put up the damn decorations!"

Snorting, the young detective resumed trying to pin up the new banners, ones that looked similar to the old banners and had an equally long message that said: _Welcome Home Junie, And HI THERE JAMIE! YOU ARE SO CUTE! But Seriously We Love Both Of You And We All Love You Very Very Very Much And We Hope You Guys Stay With Us Forever And Ever!_

Again, several of the words at the end had been jammed into a tiny corner, and as the rainbow-haired artist read the banner, a small twitch went off in his left eye. "Seriously," Jeff said in a flat voice, "when we make the banners next time, _I'm_ the one who's gonna do it. I can't stand any more of Cena's fucked up, over-the-top messages…"

"Who cares?" Randy grunted, as he struggled to tie a knot the end of his filled balloon. "Junie's probably gonna be too tired to read the fucking banners, and Jamie can't even read yet. Little brat's nothing more than a potato at this point—OW!"

The Legend Killer yelped as both Jeff and John threw something heavy at his head—Jeff choosing the obnoxiously large ashtray on the coffee table, John choosing his entire toolbox (although Randy had miraculously managed to dodge the latter). Neither the rainbow-haired artist nor the young detective made any move to help Randy as he slowly picked himself off the floor, and they both stared unflinchingly into the Legend Killer's cold blue eyes as he glared fiercely at the two men who were supposed to be his best friends.

"What the HELL was that for, man?" Randy yelled, rubbing the spot where Jeff's ashtray had connected with his skull.

"Don't you fucking insult my baby," John growled. "Jamie is NOT a brat, nor is she a goddamn potato. She's my perfect little angel, just as Junie is!"

"Amen to that," Jeff agreed fiercely, before he turned to John with a solemn stare. "But Cena…there's just one little thing I have to disagree with…"

"What is it, Hardy?"

"STOP SAYING THAT JAMIE'S YOUR BABY!"

John's jaw dropped. "What? Oh, don't start this fucking argument again! You didn't even want Jamie in the first place, if I remember correctly! Besides, I told you—"

"Fuck what you told me!" Jeff snapped angrily. "Yeah, I'll admit that I wasn't all that ready to be Jamie's daddy in the beginning, but now that I've seen her, I ain't gonna let her go! Besides, I get along the best with Junie out of the three of us here, and that little baby of hers has a better chance of being Jamie _Hardy_ than Jamie _Cena_!"

"That's it. You wanna take this outside, you rainbow-haired freak?"

"Gladly, you wannabe Eminem!"

Randy rolled his eyes as John and Jeff began to tussle all over the apartment floor, and the Legend Killer quickly scooped up the innocent decorations on the floor to prevent them from being destroyed by the two rampaging men.

_Fucking idiots_, he thought to himself, as he moved away from the increasingly violent fight. _Don't they know that this shit cost MONEY? It was fucking HARD to find those snowflake decorations that Junie likes so much! I had to go to ten stores to find the exact pattern! I swear, they so fucking stupid at times…_

Suddenly, his cellphone rang. Randy sighed as he reached behind for his back pocket and pulled out his phone, glancing carelessly at the caller ID. His eyes widened when he saw who the caller was, and he immediately flipped the phone open. "Sam! What's up, girl?"

"Hi, Randy," Sam greeted sweetly from the other end. "Look, I know this is short notice and all…but can I ask you for a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Well, my mother was supposed to play golf with Mr. McMahon and Paul today, but she canceled at the last minute. We need another player, but we don't know anyone who can fill in for her right now. I was wondering if you could maybe come down to the country club and spend the day with us."

Randy felt the beginnings of a grin creep past his lips. Yes…finally, he was gaining Sam's trust, and he now had the opportunity to spend some time with Vince and Hunter! The gods must love him… "Sure, baby. What time should I come?"

"Can you come right now? We're all here."

"Now?" Randy glanced at the clock, frowning. He had to go pick up June from the hospital in half an hour. "Sam, can I come in an hour or two? I sort of have something to take care of right now…"

He could hear a loud huff from the other end, and there was no doubt in his mind that Sam was displeased. "If you don't want to hang out with me, Randy, all you have to do is say so! You don't have to make up silly excuses if you don't want to be with me!"

"NO! It's just…it's just…" Randy ran a hand through his hair, and groaned. Damn it, June was fucking up everything for him. He couldn't even explain the situation to Sam, for how would she, or anyone with a sane head, ever understand the complications of his relationship with June and Jamie? "Forget it, Sam. I'll head over to the club right now, okay?"

"Oh! Good then!" And like that, Sam's voice immediately perked up. "I'll tell the others you're coming. See you later!"

"Right…"

Shutting the phone off with a disgruntled scowl, Randy turned to John and Jeff, the latter currently locked in a submission move that the young detective stupidly called the "S-T-F-U." (Randy privately thought that his headlocks were much more sufficient, but whatever floated his idiot best friend's boat, right?)

"Listen guys," the Legend Killer grunted, reaching over to pull John off of an asphyxiated Jeff. "Look, I have some shit to do right now, so you guys are gonna have to go pick up Junie from the hospital for me."

"What?" In shock, John dropped Jeff, who in turn gasped and gulped in large amounts of precious, precious air. "But we were _all _supposed to go over there and bring Junie home, Orton! What the hell is so important that you can't even go and see the possible mother of your possible child, even though there's a better chance that Junie's the possible mother of _my_ possible child?"

Randy's eye twitched slightly at the horribly butchered sentence, before he ran a hand over his face and sighed. "Look Cena, something unexpected came up, okay? If I don't go, my one chance at beating Vince and Hunter's companies to the ground may be lost forever."

"Money," Jeff grumbled, after having finally gotten his wind back. "I should have known."

"Can it, Hardy," Randy retorted, before he grabbed a jacket from a nearby chair and slipped it on. "Look, I have to go, okay? Besides, Junie doesn't need three men to take her home! Just go on and celebrate without me, okay? Have fun." With that, the Legend Killer spun on his heels and left the apartment, leaving a visibly upset John and Jeff in his wake.

"Fucking bastard," John spat, glaring after Randy with a look of hatred on his face. "He's so fucking selfish, you know that? I can't believe that he's even got a chance of being Jamie's daddy. Heaven help the poor kid if Orton's the father."

Jeff sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, two out of three says that he ain't. Those are pretty good odds, ain't it? Now come on…let's just finish decorating."

"I guess so…" Still, John grumbled quietly under his breath, sticking up paper flowers all across the room until his own cell phone began to ring. Struggling to get the pink lilies higher on the door, John fought to open his phone with one hand, and placed the cellphone under his chin before going back to decorating. "Hello?"

"Cena, it's Bob Holly."

John almost dropped his phone in surprise. "Holly? What's going on? Is everything alright back at precinct?"

"No. We're all trying to nail this group of perps, but they barricaded themselves in this nursery school, and they took the babies and teacher hostage. We got all our guys down there, but it's not enough. Can you come down and help us out?"

John's jaw dropped. The situation was quite possibly one of the worst he had ever heard, but… "My suspension's still active, Holly."

"I got it lifted, you fucking idiot! How else do you think I'm calling you? Rhodes is already with us, but we're waiting for you! We're gonna try sneaking in the back and knocking those guys flat on their asses, but nobody knocks down a perp better than you, kid. So? You coming or what?"

"…"

"CENA!"

"…alright. I'm on my way." John quickly hung up his phone, and turned to Jeff urgently. "Hardy…"

"What?" the rainbow-haired artist said, his voice irritated and annoyed as he blew up another balloon for the twentieth time. "I'm a little busy here, Cena."

"I just got a call from the station. They said they need my help."

"So? You're suspended, ain't cha?"

"They lifted it. We have a hostage situation, and I have to be there to help." John sucked in his breath. "I know this is asking a lot, but can you go and pick up Junie by yourself? I promise, as soon as this matter is taken care of, I'll come straight home!"

"WHAT!" Jeff's balloon quickly deflated as he looked up at the young detective in fury. "Oh, come on! Not you too!"

"It'll only be for a few hours!" John pleaded.

"You fucking idiot…have you forgotten that I no longer have a ride? I sold my bike, remember? How am I supposed to get Junie home if you and Orton are out there, riding your cars to the wild blue yonder?"

"Juts take a cab for the day, please? I'll give you money for the fare and everything, please? Just do this for me, I promise I won't ask for anything again…for the next week or so."

"…" Jeff massaged his temples, swearing quietly under his breath. "You know what? Fine. Just go. Go beat up your little thugs and whatnot. I'll just bring Junie and Jamie home by myself."

John grinned, and lightly punched Jeff in the arm. "Thanks a lot, man…you're the best."

"Shut up, Cena."

* * *

Ten minutes after John left, Jeff left the apartment as he slung the baby bag over his shoulder.

"Alright then," he muttered to himself, checking the bag to see if he had forgotten anything. "Baby formula, some new clothes, and some blankets for Jamie…toys and books for the ride home…Junie's favorite snacks…shower?" Jeff paused to quickly sniff under his armpits, before he scowled and shrugged it off. "Fuck, I can skip the shower for now. We're all set."

He just couldn't stop smiling. He couldn't wait to hold Jamie in his arms for the first time, and he kept envisioning it over and over in his mind as he set off towards the streets in search of a cab. The little baby had looked so tiny and innocent in June's arms…he just wanted to scoop Jamie up and never, ever let her go…

Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his arm. Frowning, he turned around to yell at his offender, only to pale with horror when he found himself staring into the smirking face of Trish Stratus.

_Oh shit…_

"Hey there, Jeff," she greeted coyly, slowly sliding her hand up his arm as she took in his slightly disheveled appearance. Her eyes then drifted to the baby bag, which had one end of a teddy bear sticking out. "What's in the bag?"

"This? Oh, um…" Jeff coughed nervously, before he lowered the bag to the ground and kicked it off to the side. "I-it's just some things for a friend of mine. You see, she—"

"SHE?" Trish's eyes flashed dangerously. "Did you just say that your friend was a SHE?"

Jeff gulped nervously—things were not looking good for him at all. "Y-yeah! She just had a baby, see, and she asked me to bring her baby bag to the hospital."

"Why didn't she ask her husband to do it?" Trish asked, her lips curving downward into a displeased frown. "Bringing a baby bag isn't _your_ responsibility."

"Um…" Jeff rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "W-well, her husband's sort of…not around, and I just wanted—"

"What you should want," Trish stated cuttingly, "is to get your work in on time. I'm here to collect the drawings for this week's comic."

"Comic?" _Oh crap. _With Jamie's sudden birth and the planning of June's party, the rainbow-haired artist had completely forgotten about his own job. "Shit Trish…can I give it to you another time? Tomorrow, even? I really need to get going now." He tried to turn and hail a cab, but the blonde woman grabbed his arm again, and forced him back towards his apartment.

"Jeff, I am not waiting on you any longer—the magazine has to be published tomorrow, and you are going to give me those comics _today_, even if I have to force you to draw until midnight!"

"But Trish, I really have to be somewhere right now! OW! Did you just hit me? Come on, I need to go! Trish? Trish? TRISH!"

* * *

_MOMMY! THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE!_

_I was starting to think that I'd never see you again! Why did you and my no-good daddies leave me with that doctor lady for so long? I was scared and lonely and HUNGRY! They gave me yucky formula milk for the first day, but I really like your milk, mommy! It's sweet and warm and not filled with shmuck like the formula milk!_

_What, you don't believe me? Maybe you should let Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John taste your milk. I'm sure they'll agree that it's really good too!_

_I'm sorry. I'm just cranky, and I missed you. I didn't mean to yell._

_You know, you look much better now that you're wearing normal clothes again, mommy. I knew you were pretty—why were you all sweaty and stuff when I was born, huh? You made yourself look less attractive than you really are._

_Mommy, why are we waiting down here, though? And where are my daddies? Shouldn't they be here too?_

…

_Why are you crying, mommy? Are you lonely? Don't cry—you have me! I'll always be with you! You don't have to be lonely anymore…_

* * *

She waited.

After a flurry of release forms and goodbyes, June and the baby were wheeled downstairs by a teenage candy striper with bleached hair and braces. The girl waited with them for nearly an hour before she reclaimed the wheelchair and wandered away.

June waited in the lobby. Waited as mothers with sick children ran by her as they searched for available doctors, waited as men with broken legs hobbled past her, giving her and Jamie a kind smile and a word of congratulations once they learned of the baby's newborn status. She waited as other patients were released, particularly that of an African American couple who were cradling a tiny, squirming baby boy in their arms.

"Isn't he cute, Booker?" the woman whispered, jiggling the baby in her arms to soothe his whimpering. "He looks just like his father…"

"But he has your fair eyes, my queen," the man replied charmingly, and the couple kissed before leaving the hospital, still making faces at the baby and exchanging loving glances with one another.

June gazed down sadly at the Jamie, a strained smile pushing past her lips as the infant looked up and smiled at her innocently. _Todd…I just know he would have done the same thing if he were here. He truly loved me and Jamie…_

She waited.

She waited and waited and waited until three more hours had gone by, and by this point the people in the lobby were beginning to whisper about her. But she didn't care. She waited, looking up at the hospital entrance every time the sliding doors opened, hoping that either John or Jeff or even Randy would come in, a smile on his face, telling her that the car was parked out front and waiting to take her home.

She waited, simply because she had nowhere to go and no one to go to. She doubted if she could call Lita and bother the poor woman, and she had no idea what was taking the boys so long.

She waited.

No one came.

Suddenly, June felt a hand on her shoulder, and she found herself looking up into the worried dark eyes of Dave Batista. For a moment, her voice caught in her throat in surprise before she finally managed to croak out, "Hello, Dr. Batista."

"Hello, Mrs. Grisham." He had been watching her this entire time, from the moment the candy striper took away the wheelchair to the moment June stopped looking at the doors, the hope slowly fading from her large brown eyes as she gaze sadly at her small baby.

He hadn't purposely meant to watch her. He was not a stalker. But like a moth to a flame, he found himself worrying continuously about her, even when he had new patients to care for. The woman just seemed so young, so soft, so fragile looking, and his worry for the dark-haired mother had driven him to follow her, just to make sure that she would leave his care under fair conditions.

After four hours of watching her, he figured out that no one was coming to get her anytime soon.

"Come and sit up in the doctor's lounge," Dave said quietly, taking her hand as he slowly helped her up. "You look exhausted, and you should get something to eat."

"Um…" June hesitated, throwing a nervous glance towards the hospital entrance, before Dave pulled her closer to him, his grip tightening on her smaller hand as he nodded his head towards the squirming Jamie.

"The draft in the lobby isn't good for Jamie, ma'am," he said sternly. "If exposed for too long, the baby might get sick…"

"Oh! Of course!" All of the blood seemed to drain from June's face, and she instinctively clutched Jamie closer to her chest (which earned her a squeal of happiness from her small daughter, as Jamie liked to be hugged). "I suppose you're right, sir…but…" The dark-haired woman looked up at the Animal uncertainly. "What if my friends come for me when I'm in the lobby? They might get worried…"

"If your friends come," Dave explained patiently, drawing her towards the elevators, "then the woman at information desk will page me. Then, I'll drop whatever I'm doing to come and get you."

"Well…" June paused, before she gave him a small grin. "I suppose that's okay then. And I _am_ a bit hungry…"

"Then everything works out." Dave replied, smiling as the elevator doors opened. As he followed June and Jamie inside the elevator, the doctor couldn't help but realize that he had been smiling more and more these days, particularly when June had been admitted to this mockery of a hospital.

Coincidence? Maybe. But he was never one to believe in coincidences.

_I hope her friends come very, very late._

* * *

"FORE!"

Vince swung hard at the ground, grinning when his golf club hit the small white ball…but scowling when he saw the ball land in a sand pit. Next to him Hunter laughed condescendingly as he mockingly gave his father-in-law a round of applause. "Very nice, Vince. Aim a little more to the right, though…then we can give you the title of 'Legally Blind Old Kook' and ship you off to a nursing home."

"You shut your mouth!" Vince roared, brandishing the club menacingly in front of an unflinching Hunter's face. "You shut your goddamn mouth, boy! Just because you married my little girl doesn't give you the right to strut around as if you're a goddamn _king_!"

"But pops," Hunter gasped, his voice becoming high-pitched and sarcastic as Stephanie and Sam giggled nearby, "that's not what Stephanie told me last night! Why, when we were in bed together, consummating our relationship for the bazillionth time—"

"Oh my god," Vince uttered, his face suddenly turning a nasty shade of green.

"—why, she not only called me the _king_…she called me the _king of kings_! Isn't that right, Steph?" Hunter turned back to his wife, who merely snorted and waved her hand in the air in agreement. "See, Vince? And you know…I'm thinking that it'll make a pretty good sales pitch. Paul 'Hunter' Levesque, the King of Kings! I should start putting that as a slogan…"

"STEPHANIE!" Vince bellowed, trying to get as far away from his son-in-law as humanly possible. "Stephanie, get this FILTH you call a husband away from me before I REALLY lose my temper!"

"Calm down, old man," Hunter chided gently, like a father would to his child. "You might burst a blood vessel. I mean, those veins in your forehead look like they're gonna pop any second now…"

"_STEPHANIE!_"

Randy, who had been watching all of this with a calculating eye, grinned inwardly. This was more than what he could have hoped for. In just a few short hours, he had learned that while the McMahon-Levesque Corporations were unified on the _outside_, on the inside, there was a very clear split between companies. Obviously Hunter and Vince hated one another, and it was clear that one was merely waiting for the other to make a wrong move so that he could permanently take over and join the companies. However, their current link—and also their final barrier—was Stephanie.

Hunter loved Stephanie. It was a hard concept to believe, but the child they shared proved it. Hunter truly, honestly, loved Stephanie. And while Vince would have loved nothing more than to crush Hunter where he stood, Vince also loved his daughter. Stephanie however, loved both of them, and as such the two men couldn't kill one another due to their love for her. Yet.

_And to think, I owe all of this newfound knowledge to Samantha. If things keep going well, I might even fall in love with the woman. Maybe._

…

_Nah._

"Hey, Randy?" Sam wrapped her arms around the Legend Killer's waist, just as he was lining up for his own shot into the green. "Are you having fun?"

"You bet, babe," Randy replied, giving Sam a cheesy grin. It wasn't a lie—he _was_ having fun…just not with her and Stephanie. He was more interested in what Vince and Hunter had to say, but he couldn't move too far away from Sam or else people would wonder why he even came with her at all. And if he lost Sam, he lost his link to Vince and Hunter.

It was a hard game, yes, but he couldn't possibly think of a better challenge in his lifetime.

"You shouldn't have used rental clubs," Sam pouted, looking over the score cards in her hands. "Hunter and Mr. McMahon are so far ahead! You should have brought your own clubs!"

This was the tenth time she had mentioned this, and it was starting to grate on his nerves. This was starting to bother him—June would have left such a trivial matter alone, but Sam wasn't one to let go of _anything_ that seemed substandard to her, even something as silly as rental golf clubs. Randy felt a muscle work in his jaw, but he did his best to ignore it. "Babe, I told you before…this is my first time playing golf. Give me a _little_ credit here…" As he spoke, he reminded himself that he needed Sam. He needed Sam, for both her pretty face and her hellfire connections.

_Seduce them, fuck them, and leave them in the ground. Don't lose sight of that, Orton…_

"Hey, Randy!" Hunter suddenly made his way over to the Legend Killer, and whirled him away from Sam as he led Randy back to his golfing tee. "Randy, I just figured out how to score for this hole. If you can get this in one shot, you'll be tied with Vince."

"Really?" The Legend Killer raised a brow. Hunter wasn't normally one to give good advice, especially to those who were supposed to be his opponents in a game.

"Yeah, kid!" Hunter grinned, before he pointed his finger towards the tree just in front of them. "You see that willow there? Well, whack your ball towards it, and it should bounce off the tree, hit the rock over there—" the blond then pointed at a large boulder several yards away "—and the ball should ricochet at an angle so wide that it spins right into the hole."

"…"

"…"

"Hunter, are you bullshitting me?" Randy said flatly, glaring at the older man with a look of utter contempt and disbelief. "Because that's just fucking too much to swallow, even for you."

"Oh, come on!" Hunter retorted, feigning a look of hurt as he clutched dramatically at his heart. "Lighten up, kid! I'm just trying to help you out, here. I swear, just follow what I told you, and you'll have a hole in one!"

"…"

"Come on, kid!"

"…fine." Grumbling, Randy bent over slightly at the waist, lined up his golf club with his ball, and aimed carefully before swinging as hard as he could at the tree that Hunter had pointed out.

_WHAM!_

The ball slammed hard into the wood, before bouncing off and hitting the rock. The small white ball then flew away at an angle, away from Randy and Hunter, away from even Stephanie and Sam…

…only to smash directly into the forehead of Vince McMahon.

"OW! WHO THE FUCK SHOT THAT BALL AT ME?"

…_shit._

Ironically, the impact of the ball on Vince's forehead was enough to send it sailing into the green for a hole in one.

* * *

John tried to concentrate on the job at hand rather than think about a certain woman with dark brown eyes. He wasn't really succeeding.

He hated himself for going off and leaving Jeff to pick up June. He would have loved to have greeted the dark-haired woman at the hospital, maybe give her and the baby a kiss on the cheek before driving them home like the proud father he was supposed to be. Instead, he let his own desire to get back in action with the police force get to him, and he ended up pushing the two people he loved to second place.

That bothered him more than he ever wanted to admit.

"Cena!" Bob Holly hissed from behind him. "Cena! Get your head in the game! Those kids are still in there, remember?"

John forced himself to focus as his combat instincts kicked in. He had reached the perimeter of the complex, and was closing in on the nursery school. He scanned the area around the fence while hiding behind a bush. No perps were in sight. Warning bells immediately went off, but he forced himself to ignore them. There was no turning back now.

He contacted Steve over the radio. "I've reached the fence," he whispered. Just because he couldn't see anyone didn't mean that they couldn't hear him. "Everything's quiet."

"A little too quiet, maybe?" Cody's voice whispered in his ear.

"Yeah. Keep your eyes open, okay?"

"Sure thing, Cena. And watch your back." With that, Cody signed off.

John scanned the area once more before he climbed the chain link fence. He didn't really like dealing with barbed wire while on top of a 10 foot tall fence, but a patrolling perp was bound to spot a cut in the fence. The young detective luckily managed not to get stuck and jumped down on the other side. He was in.

And just in time, too. As soon as he landed, a perp came into view from the far side of the north building. He immediately fell prone, not daring to move. The criminal had a flashlight, but he wasn't particularly looking for anything, let alone a man hiding in the grass. He passed John without stopping, and continued his route around the building.

_Whew. Thank god for idiot perps._

John left his hiding spot and headed for the opposite side of the building. When he reached the wall, he peeked around the corner. Unfortunately there was a guard in front of the door, and an overhead streetlamp illuminated the entire area. He'd have to find another way in…

As quiet as a wraith, he left the door guard and followed the patroller's route to the other side of the building. This side was empty, except for a pile of trash bags. No way in over here, either. John went to check out the fourth side. He was just about to peek around the corner, but then he stopped short when she heard a voice.

"Is there any way out, Beth?" a bald man with terrible teeth asked.

"No, sir, Mr. Snitsky sir," was the defeated response, this time from a large, blonde woman. John nearly jumped ten feet in the air—Snitsky was one of Santino's men, one of the few they hadn't been able to capture. "There are police everywhere, and at the moment they aren't complying with our hostage demands…"

"Go back inside, to the meat locker. Keep an eye on those children and that pregnant teacher of theirs; I'll be there when we're ready to move out."

"Yes, Mr. Snitsky," the woman said, and walked off. Snitsky sighed, before he started walking towards John. The young detective flattened himself against the wall and hid in the shadows.

_Fucking bastard,_ John thought, his jaw tightly clenched as his eyes narrowed at Snitsky's retreating back. _He's—he's keeping those kids and a pregnant woman in a MEAT LOCKER? Oh god, what if Junie were ever in a situation like this? What the hell is wrong with this freak, anyway?_

Once he could no longer hear the blonde woman's footsteps down the pavement, John stepped out of the shadows, sneaking up carefully behind an oblivious Snitsky.

The bastard was going to pay.

* * *

_Six o'clock. Those fucking bastards just left her here…_

With all of his patients taken care of for the day, Dave sighed as he returned to the lounge, half-expecting to walk in upon a rather distraught and upset young mother. However, what he found was a very tired June who was curled up at the end of the couch, with Rey Mysterio's jacket covering her. Nearby, Rey was holding June's tiny infant in his arms, making soft cooing noises as Jamie squeaked with laughter and tried to reach for his surgical mask.

"Hey," Rey greeted, looking up as the Animal approached them quietly. "Did the Senora's no-good friends finally come to pick her up?"

Dave let out a noise of displeasure. "No. And I doubt they ever will."

"Damn. Poor thing…" Rey looked back at the sleeping June, and shook his head. "I say we kick the shit out of them when they finally _do_ show up. Leaving a young woman with a baby here like this…what's the world coming to, man?"

"Honestly? I don't know." Walking over to where his friend was sitting, Dave reached out and allowed his fingers to run gently over the soft cheek of the baby. "She looks like her mother," he remarked, smiling as Jamie giggled and looked up at him sweetly.

_Oh my, _Jamie thought. _You're a very handsome person, Dr. Bob-tee-sa! Wanna be my boyfriend?_

"Yup. Little Jamie is going to be very beautiful, just like her momma." Rey said proudly. Then, the smaller doctor grinned. "But I don't think I have to tell _you_ that, eh Mr. Animal?"

"W-what?" Dave gave his friend a startled look. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing…nothing at all, man…" Rey chuckled when the baby grasped Dave's finger and began to suckle it. "Ah! It looks like the little senorita's hungry…should we wake up her mommy, or get the formula milk?"

Dave rolled his eyes as he took Jamie from Rey. Cradling the tiny baby in his arms, he walked over to where June lay and gently touched her arm. She jumped when he made contact with her body and sat up quickly, rubbing her eyes as she sleepily tried to identify her surroundings.

"Wha' happened?" she asked, stifling a yawn as she looked up at the large doctor with half-lidded eyes. "Are they here?"

For some odd reason, June's slightly disheveled look made him feel very, very nervous. "I—err—what I mean is—" Dave found himself stammering, slightly flustered as he held onto the now fussy Jamie, who was trying in vain to reach for her mother. Ignoring Rey's quiet laughter, Dave cleared his throat and managed to find his voice again. "Um…your daughter needs to eat, ma'am…"

June rubbed the last trace of sleep from her eyes, before she smiled and held out her arms as the Animal carefully handed the baby to her. Jamie was making squeaking noises that was drawing the attention of everyone in the lounge room. Dave and Rey couldn't help but grin as they watched the small infant squirm and attempt to find her mother's nipple.

_Mommy! Mommy, I want your milky-milk! Where is your milky-milk?_

The dark-haired woman then reached over and grabbed a blanket, throwing it over her shoulder and over Jamie before quickly pulling her breast out of its confines. Dave tilted his head curiously at this—unlike his first ex-wife, who had normally just pulled her breast out for all to see, June apparently liked being discreet.

It was sweet, really, and he just couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him.

The young mother had left a small opening in the blanket, so that she could look down upon Jamie as she fed. June smiled and whispered sweet nothings as the baby periodically stopped her feeding to coo in content, before going back to her fierce suckling.

"She's like a little vacuum cleaner," June joked, slipping a hand underneath the blanket to grasp a tiny fist. "I swear, I don't know where she got her appetite from. She eats more than Todd and I combined…I wonder why they're not coming, though?" June wondered aloud, staring at the clock in worry. "Do you think something happened to them? I hope nothing terrible happened…"

Rey snorted. "I'd be more angry than worried, Senora. Those chumps are more than a little late."

"I know, but still…I hope they're okay…"

"Where do you live?" Dave suddenly asked, surprising both June and Rey with his question. "If you live close by, then I can give you and Jamie a ride home, if you want."

"…"

"Big man, are you serious?" Rey said, his eyes wide as he tried to digest what he had just heard.

Dave ignored the smaller doctor. He had had to work up the courage all day to bite the bullet and approach June with this offer, no matter how personal and inappropriate it might have seemed. But the facts were facts—it was late in the evening, June and Jamie were clearly tired, and he had a sneaking suspicion that if he didn't take her home now, she wouldn't be able to get a ride until the next day.

That was unacceptable, in his books. Fuck hospital protocol about doctor-patient relationships; as a human being and a man, he couldn't just leave June alone.

Now if only he could get June to stop looking at him as if he had grown an extra head…

"Are…are you sure, Dr. Batista?" June asked weakly, unsure of the sincerity of the larger man's offer. "I really don't want to trouble you, sir…"

"It's no trouble at all." Dave said quickly, seeing the hesitation in the dark-haired woman's eyes. "It won't bother me in the slightest. Trust me, I'd sleep much better tonight knowing that you were safe at home, ma'am."

"Really? Well, if you're sure…" Slowly standing up with Jamie still attached to her breast, June made her way over to Dave and gave the doctor a smile that completely melted his heart. "Lead the way, doctor."

* * *

"Come on, Trish…"

"Nope!"

"At least give me my cellphone back!"

"Not until you finish the comics you owe me, Jeff! If you have time to decorate for a party—" Trish stared in distaste at the party favors around her "—then you have time to do your damn job!"

The rainbow-haired artist groaned and stared at the clock hanging on the adjacent wall. He was _soooo_ late…and Junie was probably still at the hospital, waiting for him. God, what must the poor thing be feeling now? Was she in the lobby, waiting anxiously for him to appear? Was Jamie crying, wondering why her daddy wasn't coming to get her?

And he couldn't even call John and Randy, couldn't tell them that he was in deep shit and that June needed their help. _Maybe_, his mind whispered to him pathetically, _maybe John and Randy went to the hospital anyway. Maybe they're picking her up right now, and bringing her home._

…

Yeah, right.

As he made another futile effort to snatch his phone back from Trish, he made a firm resolution in his mind—once this was over, he was not going to continue his sexual relationship with the blonde anymore. The free sex was not worth this anguish and misery.

Picking up his pencil, he drew his final character as quickly as he could, all the while just wishing that his hands were faster so that he could finish and get to June and Jamie. It would have been easier if visions of June getting kidnapped by assholes in masks didn't keep plaguing his mind, as well as thoughts of Jamie sobbing her eyes out on her mother's still, unmoving bosom.

_Oh god, I think I'm going insane._

"THERE!" Jeff threw his pencil to the ground, and shoved his finished drawings into Trish's arms. "I'm finished, I'm done, and I'll see you tomorrow at work, okay?"

Trish blinked, clutching at the drawings, before she pouted. "But Jeff! I didn't mean for this visit to be all work and no play! Now that we're done, maybe we can—"

"No time, can't talk, gotta go!" With that, Jeff all but shoved Trish out of the apartment, not even bothering to let the blonde get one word in as he slammed the door in her face. Running a hand through his rainbow-locks, Jeff then looked around for the baby bag, wondering briefly where he had placed the thing before he spotted a rather bloodied and battered John climbing in through the kitchen window.

Wait a minute. The kitchen window?

"Yo Hardy," the young detective snapped, sporting a cut lip and a new black eye as he clambered onto the kitchen counter. "What the hell is going on? I come in, expecting to find Junie and Jamie at the door, and instead I find your she-devil of a boss pounding at our door!"

"And so…you opt to climb in through the kitchen window instead?" Jeff asked slowly, fully taking John's less-than-immaculate appearance.

"Hey! It was either that or deal with Trish, and given the state she's in, I'd rather like to keep my balls, thanks."

"Whatever. But Jesus, what the fuck happened to you, Cena? You look like you just went to hell and back."

"Not important right now, Hardy. Where's Junie and my little Jamie?"

"Would you stop saying she's yours?" Jeff snapped, grabbing his keys as he headed off towards the kitchen window, with the full intent of climbing out so that he wouldn't have to face Trish either. "You only got a one out of three shot of claiming her."

"So do you!" John retorted angrily, crossing in front of Jeff to block his path. "You can't exactly say that Jamie's yours either! Say…" The young detective looked around curiously. "Where _are_ Junie and Jamie, anyway?"

"Um…" Jeff now looked extremely guilt ridden, and turned his gaze away from John. "Yeah, about that…I sort of…got tied up with Trish, and I never exactly got around to picking Junie up…"

John blinked. "Excuse me?" he said slowly, not quite sure that he had heard correctly. Maybe that last punch from Snitsky had fogged his brain up more than he thought… "I think I heard you wrong. Are you telling me that you haven't picked up Junie from the hospital yet?"

"…no…"

"So she's still there, waiting for us to come and get her?"

"…more than likely…"

"SHIT!" His injuries completely forgotten, John dashed towards the front door, barreling through a less-than-happy Trish as he ran towards his car…

…only to stop when he saw June standing in front of the building, stumbling into the arms of the large doctor he had met the other day. He was Dr. Batista, wasn't he? However, the doctor's name was the last thing on John's mind, and the young detective's eyes widened when he saw Dave's arms encircle June's waist, their faces only inches apart from one another as a tiny infant was pressed in between their bodies.

A red haze clouded his vision, and he was rampaging his way towards them when he heard Randy's startlingly furious voice roar from across the street, the Legend Killer's face twisted in a mixture of fury and jealousy.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?"

* * *

**Read and review.**


	14. Undisciplined Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: One note today. First off, because of university events, updates will take longer than normal. No, I can't change my professor's mind, and I'm stuck with a rather hectic schedule for a while, so to those who have gotten used to my updates, I am very sorry.

**Fourteen: Undisciplined Heart**

_The other babies told me that they only have one mommy and one daddy. _

_How lame was that? They only have one daddy? I feel so bad for them! That means that they don't have someone like Daddy Randy to buy them cool stuff. They don't have anyone like Daddy Jeff to do awesome stunts with (although mommy told us she'd get a heart attack if we tried that trick with the trampoline and the fire escape again…) and they don't have a person like Daddy John to hang around and chill with. _

_CHAIN GANG FOREVER, DOG!_

_But seriously? The other babies said that it's pretty weird to have more than one daddy, but I don't think so—it means I get more toys and hugs and love than anyone else!_

_But then they also mentioned that their mommies and daddies kiss each other on the lips and touch each other in bed. EEEEEEEW! Why would they kiss each other on the lips? Don't the mommies know that boys have cooties? And why would they touch each other in bed? What the heck are you supposed to do in a bed besides sleep? _

…

_They wrestle? They wrestle naked? Now that's just silly. _

_I dunno. Whatever it is, I've never seen my mommy do any lip kissing or naked wrestling with any of my daddies, at least not in front of me. Is that bad? Is she supposed to do stuff like that?_

…

_Why does no one answer me when I have questions like these? _

* * *

Dave, ever the gentleman, had offered to walk her back to the apartment.

While June would have declined, at seven in the evening she was too tired, too hungry, and too full of exhaustion to really think about what the others might have thought about her coming home with a two-hundred-ninety pound, bodybuilder type doctor. At this point, all she wanted to do was lay Jamie down, plop onto her bed, and sleep for at least a year.

Taking his offered hand, June kept a tight hold on him while she struggled to keep Jamie balanced in her other arm. The baby, who had been asleep during the entire car ride, whimpered and began to fuss in June's arms.

_AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGH! Mommy, what was that for? I was sleeping!_

"Shhhhh…don't cry, Jamie. Don't worry love, I'm right here…" June slowly rocked the tiny infant in her arms, calming Jamie down as she slowly walked with Dave to the apartment building. However, she hadn't seen the large crack in the pavement ahead, and before she knew it, she had tripped and was about to smash face first into the concrete—

—and then it stopped, and she was standing upright again.

Next to Dave. With his arms around her. Holding her a bit too tightly against his very hard, very muscular body.

_Oh my god._ June immediately felt herself stiffen as she looked up at the Animal, who was gazing down at her with a concerned look on his face. In embarrassment she tried to move away, only to squeak in fright when she felt his arms slide around her waist and pull her closer to him.

"You okay?" Dave murmured softly, his voice low and husky. He was all too aware of how close they physically were, and he could feel his tummy tighten as he felt her hot breath against his face. "You should be more careful, ma'am."

"Um…um…" At that point, June's mind went completely blank, unable to focus on anything other than the feeling of her doctor's large, warm hands on her waist, and the doctor's perfect mouth. For a moment, she thought she was going to go insane. Just why did he have to have such beautiful lips? Why did he have to be so damn tempting when she was trying to stay faithful to her memories of Todd?

June's increasing discomfort was something that did not go unnoticed by Jamie, and the baby looked up at her mother in alarm.

_Huh? Mommy, are you okay? Your face is all red! Say something, mommy! Mommy? Mooooooooommy?_

Unfortunately, the dark-haired woman was completely frozen in Dave's grasp. She hadn't been held this close by a man for a long time—Todd had been the only one to hold her like this, him and a few one-night stands she could barely remember from her late teenage years. To feel the powerful body of such a large man against her own, frail one was a sensation that she had never quite experienced before, and to her horror, she realized that she enjoyed it.

The word "whore" continuously ran through her brain, as well as several images of Todd. Her husband. The love of her life…she trembled and tried feebly to pull away from Dave's warm grasp.

She was still bound to Todd. She had to be faithful…

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?"

"EEEEK!" June jumped three feet away from Dave in shock, looking around wildly for the source of the scream as she finally laid her eyes on an extremely displeased, extremely _angry_ looking Randy Orton. At once, the dark-haired woman felt all the blood drain from her face—the Legend Killer looked as if he was about to murder her on the spot, and she knew she had to speak quickly. "R-Randy, what's the matter? Randy—OW!"

June shrieked in pain as Randy furiously made his way over to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her and Jamie roughly away from Dave. "You little _slut_!" he hissed angrily in her ear, sending shivers of fear down her spine. "Grisham hasn't even been dead for four months now, and you're already throwing yourself in the arms of another man?"

His fingers were starting to dig painfully into her skin, and she knew there would be bruises there the next day. She tried in a pathetic attempt to twist away, only to have Randy's painful grip increase tenfold. "R-Randy," June finally whispered, her voice shaking despite her efforts to stay calm, "Randy, just let me explain—"

"Explain _what_?" Randy yelled, causing the little baby in June's arms to wail in fright. "What's there to explain, huh Junie? You met this guy four fucking days ago, and you're already cozying up to him like a tramp—"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Suddenly, Randy was pulled away from June and was slammed into a nearby wall, a large forearm shoved against his windpipe as Dave glared angrily upon the now suffocating Legend Killer.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Dave bellowed, his body shaking with rage as Randy began to gag and choke under his grip. "Don't you _dare_ lay your fucking hands on her, you son-of-a-bitch!"

"Hey! Get off of him!" At this point, John and Jeff burst into the scene, both men grabbing onto Dave's arms and pulling him off with all of their strength. It took a while, though—the doctor kept breaking free of their grasp and tried to lunge at Randy, only to have John or Jeff grab him and once again try to restrain him.

"Stop it!" June cried, trembling as she tried desperately to get Jamie to stop crying. In the corner of her eye, she noticed a blonde woman standing not too far off, but June took no notice of her as she made her way in between Randy and the restrained Dave, the latter of which looked livid and was breathing hard, like an animal possessed.

_Well, at least I understand why he's called "The Animal," now…_

Clutching the now whimpering Jamie to her breast, June looked around at all four men in desperation. "For the love of god, stop this! What's gotten into all of you? Dr. Batista was just taking me home!"

Randy, who was grasping at his crushed throat in agony, stared at June with a look of disbelief. "Taking you _home_? This fucking asshole was groping you on the streets—"

"I fell, and he thankfully caught me right before I slammed into the concrete!" June explained angrily, although her face still reddened at the memory of how physically close she had been to the handsome doctor. "Besides, you three have no right to yell at him! He was kind enough to bring me here when none of you came to pick me up from the hospital!"

"What?" Randy turned to John in shock. "You were supposed to pick her up!" the Legend Killer yelled, smacking John hard upside the head. "You said you were gonna go get her!"

"HEY! It's Hardy's fault!" John retorted, rubbing the area where Randy had smacked him. "I got a call from precinct—"

"You were suspended, you asshole! How could you get a fucking call from them?"

"Hold on, Orton! I got un-suspended, thank you very much! But anyway…I got a call from precinct; we had a hostage situation, so I told Hardy to go pick Junie up for me! And by the way, Junie," John said excitedly, staring at June with a rather silly grin on his face, "we caught the last of Santino's men! That jackass Snitsky is gonna rot in a cell for a long, long time…"

"ANYWAY!" Randy cut in, his eye twitching as he shoved John aside. "So what I'm hearing is that this is all Hardy's fault?" Randy turned his icy glare towards Jeff, who in turn meekly put his hands up in a pacifying gesture.

"It's not my fault!" the rainbow-haired artist protested. "I was gonna go get her, but then Trish came and bullied me into staying at the apartment to make more drawings!"

"Don't you blame this all on me!" the blonde woman yelled, stomping her way into the group as she threw Jeff an irritated, unpleasant look. "Jeff, your drawings were overdue. My choices were either to fire you, or make you work your ass off to get your stuff in on time!"

"Who the hell are _you_?" Dave cried out, staring hard at Trish as he got more and more confused in all of the excuses and explanations and bullshitting. "And how the fuck did the conversation turn to drawings?"

"That's enough!" Holding Jamie tightly to her chest, June turned to Trish with a frustrated, tired expression. "Miss, I'm sorry, but can you and Jeff continue your discussion some other time? It's getting late, and I am not in the mood to argue with _anyone_ about anything anymore. I have to put my baby to bed."

"But—" Trish began, only to freeze when June's look changed from frustration to anger. "A-alright then…I'll go. Jeff, I expect a call from you tomorrow."

"Right, Trish…"

With that, the blonde slunk off, making both June and Jeff sigh with relief. The dark-haired woman then turned her attention to Dave, and gave him her most apologetic stare. "Dr. Batista, I am so sorry for what my friends did to you tonight. I assure you, this is just a huge misunderstanding, and it won't happen again."

"You're damn right it won't happen again," Randy muttered, only to be shushed by Jeff as Dave threw a menacing glare in their direction. June fought the urge to scream at the Legend Killer, and fixed her gaze solely on her doctor.

"Dr. Batista," the young mother said almost desperately, "you don't have to stay any longer. I'll be fine! You should go home now. It's late. Get some rest, please, and we can talk again another day."

At this, Randy, Jeff, and John all stared at her in astonishment. _Just what the hell did she mean by that?_

"Well…" Dave looked unsure, and seemed unwilling to leave. "I don't want you to be unsafe, Mrs. Grisham."

"I'll be fine!" June insisted, pushing the Animal towards his car. "I'll be fine and dandy, so don't worry about me! Just go on and drive safely, okay Dr. Batista?" Shoving all of her frustrations aside, she forced herself to look happy and cheerful, hoping to alleviate some of Dave's anger and maybe get him going home.

She didn't know how much patience Randy or Dave had left, and she sure as hell didn't want another explosion tonight, so that meant that one of them had to leave.

Dave sighed and shook his head. "Fine, Mrs. Grisham. I'll go…but if anything else happens with these knuckleheads—" he narrowed his eyes at Randy "—I know your number and you know mine."

"And just how do you know her number?" John asked incredulously. Dave ignored him and walked away, looking back to give June a strained smile before he got into his car and slowly drove off. June waved at him until his car was out of sight, before she turned around…

…to find three very unhappy looking men, all of whom were glaring at her.

_Oh lord, give me strength. Shouldn't I be the one upset instead of them?_

But she wasn't. She couldn't get mad, even though she knew she had _some_ right to be. They _did_ leave her stranded at the hospital after all…but Jamie was in her arms, looking up at her with teary, innocent eyes, taking in everything that was going on around her. Her precious baby, her sole reason to live, was exhausted, tired, and needed to rest.

There had been enough drama for the day, and June knew that adding her own anger wouldn't solve anything. Besides, what would Jamie think if she saw her mother ranting and raving like a lunatic in the middle of the night?

So instead, she somehow managed to laugh, and walked up to John with a smile. "Hey, John. Let's get you some ice for that black eye."

* * *

Randy drummed his fingers angrily against the surface of the table, his brow furrowed as his lips pulled back into a snarl. "That fucking _bitch_."

"Hmm?" John, who was nursing his black eye with the ice bag that June had gotten for him earlier, looked up at his friend with a half-lidded gaze. "What'dya say, Orton?"

"I'm talking about Junie, you idiot," Randy snapped, reaching for a beer and furiously popping the top cap off. He took a long swing from the bottle, drinking half of the contents in one gulp. "I can't believe we wasted all this time taking care of her. The first chance she got, she went running off into that muscleheaded asshole's arms…"

"Oh, come on, guys," Jeff muttered. "She said that the guy was just walking her to the door, and then he caught her when she tripped."

"You shut up, Hardy!" Randy yelled, glaring hard at the rainbow-haired artist as he violently slammed his bottle back onto the table. "You're just saying that because she didn't yell at your ass for not picking her up! It's your fault this shit happened, anyway!"

"Man, I told you what Trish did to me, Orton!"

"It's still your fault!"

"Damn it, will you two keep your fucking voices down?" John hissed, throwing his ice bag at Randy's head. "You'll wake up—"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"—the baby."

In the next room, they could hear Jamie's shrieks echo through the walls for the tenth time that night, alongside June's tired moans. John stared helplessly at the door to June's room, wishing he could help her without making himself look suspicious, before he glared angrily at Randy and Jeff.

"You see what you two did? Now you woke up both Jamie _and_ Junie!"

For a second, the Legend Killer looked somewhat remorseful, before his face reverted to its hardened state. "Fuck Junie. This is all her fault anyway."

"Damn it Orton! Can't you at least pretend to care?"

"No."

"Come on, guys," Jeff groaned, as John and Randy stared down hatefully at one another. "Can't we just hit the hay already and put this shit behind us? Junie said she ain't mad at us…well, at me and Cena anyway—"

Randy snorted, and finished off his beer.

"—but the point is, she said that she ain't got no relationship with the doctor other than that of a pure friendship."

"HA!" Randy sat up in his seat, and narrowed his eyes at Jeff. "You actually believe what she said, Hardy? You must not have seen what I've seen. That Batista guy looked like he was gonna take her right there on the fucking street! Cena, you were there…you saw it too, didn't you?"

John shrugged and rubbed his hand against his bruised face. "Leave me out of this, man," the young detective mumbled, yawning in fatigue. "I'm not saying I liked what I saw, but if Junie says that nothing happened, then I'm gonna take her word for it."

"Excuse me?" Randy's jaw dropped. "Don't be stupid, Cena! I just know that something happened between them! Besides, what kind of doctor actually takes his patient home to make sure that she's safe? Hell, my fucking doctor doesn't even give me the time of day!"

"…"

"See? It just proves my point…you can't trust any woman these days. But mark my words," Randy added bitterly. "I will NEVER watch after Jamie. Not after what happened tonight. God knows what Junie might do if we offer to babysit her brat. She might run off to be with that _Batista_ again…"

"You know, Orton," Jeff said coyly, as he took a sip from his own beer, "you're being awfully possessive for a guy that hates Junie's guts. One might wonder if you've got some sort of twisted _thing_ for her…"

"WHAT?" Now John's jaw dropped too, and as Randy turned his suddenly heated, darkened gaze towards the ground, the young detective gave the rainbow-haired artist a look of absolute shock. "Hardy, don't say crazy shit like that! Randy and Junie getting together…why, that would be the first sign of the apocalypse!"

"HEY!" Randy cried, looking up at John with an insulted look on his face. "Why the fuck would a pairing between me and her be impossible? I mean, I dislike her, yeah, but I don't think it's impossible…haven't you guys ever heard of angst sex?"

"…"

"…"

"Anyway," John went on, shaking his head to relieve himself of the disturbing, sexual images that popped into his mind, "the point is that if Junie says that nothing happened, then we should believe her. I mean, she's got no reason to lie to us, right homes?"

"Right…" Jeff then turned to Randy, and gave him a curious glance. "Angst sex? What the hell is that, Orton?"

"Could we stop talking about angst sex?" John snapped, kicking Jeff's leg from underneath the table. "By god, we have the mother of my child in the other room! Be more fucking discreet!"

"For the last time, Cena…stop saying Jamie's yours!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Randy groaned, and lowered his forehead to the surface of the table. "Now look what you've done…"

* * *

June didn't know what to do. Her heart was in her throat and her patience was at its end. Laying in the dark, she clutched the pillow to her chest and tried very hard not to scream.

She had put Jamie down to bed hours ago. Hours during which June had been up twelve times, nine times for the baby and three times to go to the bathroom. Hours in which her baby, the sweet, angelic little girl who had been so good to her in the daytime, had fretted and sobbed and shrieked into the echoing hours of the early morning.

And June, who was only human, had run out of ideas.

The clock read three and Jamie was screaming again. June whimpered as she heard Randy's angered groan from the other room, as well as a frustrated sigh from John and a loud thud from Jeff as he fell out of his bed, no doubt startled by the sudden noise. June forced herself to roll over, exhausted, frantic, and frightened, wishing that Todd was here as she crawled out of bed.

_Maybe if I pray hard enough, he'll appear. He'll appear, he'll tell me that everything that's happened was just a dream, and we can make French toast with Belgium waffles in the morning._

Of course, that wasn't going to happen, but wishes were all June had left to go by now, and it was better than giving way to the tears that were crowding around her throat.

She hadn't slept at all. She had put off going to sleep so that she didn't have to face the lonely darkness in her empty bed, and had often sat in a chair next to Jamie's crib, rocking the baby to sleep and staying there longer than necessary because she didn't want to be alone with her last memories of Todd.

No, wait. She was being silly. She had stayed awake with _Jamie_, so she technically wasn't alone…

Bathrobe, slippers. The short march between her bed and Jamie's crib where, beneath the dancing stars and smiling teddy bears, Jamie was frantic, reaching her little arms up desperately for her mother.

_Mommy! Mommy, I'm scared! I had a bad dream, and when I woke up I couldn't find you! Please don't leave me alone, mommy!_

But what Jamie didn't know was that June had reached the end of her rope, and was in no mood to comfort anyone, much less her own child.

"What is it?" June demanded, her voice slowly becoming shrill and high. "What do you want, baby? I've fed you, I've changed you, I've rocked you…I can't do any more, Jamie! I can't!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Jamie's cries were impatient. Her back protesting, June bent over the crib and checked her daughter out. Dry sleeper. No obvious injuries. No signs that anything was wrong physically. So why was she crying? Why was Jamie, her own flesh and blood, tormenting her like this?

The dark-haired woman picked the baby up and eased herself down onto the rocking chair, too sore to rock, and she began to sing.

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away…"_

Unfortunately, Jamie wasn't buying it. The tiny infant arched her back, flailed her little fists, and began to shriek harder and harder, cry louder and louder until June wanted to cry back. She wanted to cry until she dropped dead. She wanted to cry until she somehow understood why this baby wouldn't tell her what was wrong.

She wanted to cry, because she could hear Randy's frustrated growls growing louder and louder.

_Todd, help me. Tell me what to do…_

June squeezed her eyes shut, stunned by the fresh wave of grief her thoughts had unleashed.

On her part, Jamie curled and uncurled her fist as she fought against the air around her. Clutching desperately at her mother's robe, the baby lifted her large, round brown eyes towards June's face. _Mommy…mommy, I'm scared…it's so dark__…_

"Please, baby," June begged. "For me? Please…"

Jamie responded by whimpering and hiccupping before beginning to wail again.

"Jamie, what do you want? Tell me!" Now June was crying too, letting out big, gulping sobs that stunned her. "Jamie, please! Just tell me what's wrong! PLEASE!"

"Junie!" The door to her room suddenly burst open, and John came bursting through, his expression full of worry as a sleepy-eyed Jeff came shuffling in after him. The young detective took in the sight of the frazzled mother and daughter, and John immediately took to caring for June as Jeff whisked the wailing Jamie out of the dark-haired woman's arms. "Junie," John whispered, brushing away some of June's tears with his thumb as he gently cupped her cheek. "Are you okay? You were screaming…"

_Of course I'm not okay, _June thought angrily as she lowered her gaze, clenching her fists as she fought to regain some of the composure she had lost earlier. _My own daughter won't let me care for her, plus Todd's ghost is haunting me every second. Of course I'm NOT okay! _But to his face, June forced herself to smile. "I'm okay, John. I'm okay."

But the truth was, she no longer thought that she was ready. She couldn't handle a baby on her own—she couldn't even handle _herself_ on her own. She had been anticipating the child's birth because she had known that Todd would have been there for her. Todd would have helped her, been there every step of the way. Todd would have bent over backwards for her and the baby, would have shown her that special something that always made him seem endlessly patient, wonderfully wise, and superhuman in strength in her eyes.

He had promised her.

He had promised her, damn it!

And now he was gone. He was gone, June was left alone, and for the first time, she didn't know what to do. She had pushed it to the back of her mind, tried to drown it in niceties for months, and now it all exploded back at her face, and she was _scared_. She was scared that she would never be enough for Jamie, that she wouldn't be able to give Jamie the life she always wanted her child to have.

Todd had promised.

Todd had left.

John seemed to realize something was wrong, because at that moment, he drew her into a fierce hug. "Don't cry Junie," he murmured, his breath warm against her cheek as he held her so tightly that she thought she might have forgotten how to breathe. "You don't have to do this by yourself. We're here, aren't we? We'll always be here for you."

She was still angry, and because of her anger, June wanted to slap John right on the cheek. _How dare you say that, _her mind hissed uncharacteristically cruelly. _Will you be there for me when I need you? I needed you today, and a damn hospital doctor had to take me home because he felt sorry for me. How dare you say something like that, something Todd would say!_

But despite the day's events, June felt herself leaning into John's tight embrace. She was still a weak, insecure woman with an undisciplined heart, and he was a strong, confident man who was holding her just like Todd used to do. She needed someone to hold her, she wanted someone to comfort her, and this was why she sobbed quietly as she buried her face against John's shoulder and returned his embrace with every bit of strength she had left.

Meanwhile, the baby's sobs had been growing quieter. Jeff was walking around the room, gently rocking to Jamie in his arms as he stopped in front of a sky-blue chest of drawers that was used to hold Jamie's necessities.

"Basics," Jeff said softly, pawing through the drawers with one hand while continuing to rock the whimpering Jamie with the other. "Clean diapers. Food. Food is a key word with babies, at least, that's what my daddy always told me. And don't believe that crap about not needing a pacifier, okay Junie?"

With that, the rainbow-haired artist plopped the yellow pacifier he had found into Jamie's mouth just as the baby drew in a deep breath. Jamie blinked, rolled the pacifier around in her mouth for a moment, before she gulped, hiccupped, and became silent.

_What is this, Daddy Jeff? Is this a new suckie thing? I like it, for some reason…_

June would have cried with relief if she hadn't already been sobbing. As John continued to hold the dark-haired woman in his arms, Jeff kept Jamie in his, looking down and smiling as Jamie's mouth worked rhythmically around the yellow plastic. Finally, after fifteen minutes, the baby was asleep.

And June was too.

* * *

Later on, when everyone else was finally asleep in their beds, the door to June's room opened once more, and Randy soundlessly stepped onto the polished wooden floorboards.

He had been listening the entire night. Listened as Jamie shrieked for endless hours, listened to June continuously getting up, her normally soft voice becoming more and more frantic as her patience finally wore out.

He listened as she began to cry.

Something in him hurt when he heard her cry. It hurt him to know that she was suffering, but he couldn't bring himself to get up and go to her. For one thing, he was still pissed at her for the Batista incident. In his mind, she had been in the doctor's arms willingly, she had made no effort to get out of the man's embrace, and thus she was guilty as sin. Even if she wasn't guilty and he was for some reason wrong about the whole situation, he wasn't one to change his mind so quickly anyway.

The second reason was that he was _afraid_ to go to her room. He didn't want to go in there, to see the baby crying. He didn't want to go in there and have to comfort June because he knew that doing those things would end in him wanting to get closer to both her and the baby, which was the last thing he needed. He didn't want to have anything to do with June Grisham, and it wasn't because he hated her. He _didn't_ hate her.

And because he didn't hate her, he couldn't bring himself to go into that room.

But then he heard John and Jeff enter the room, and he heard Jamie's wails suddenly cease while June's began to increase. He heard Jeff talking softly to Jamie, while John whispered words Randy couldn't hear to June. This made him mad for reasons he couldn't explain, but he still didn't get up.

When everyone was asleep, however, he decided to sate the tiniest part of his curiosity, and leave it at that.

The first thing to appear in his sight was the crib. Taking care not to step on any creaking floorboards, Randy tiptoed his way over to the sleeping Jamie, who was dozing with her arms spread out over her head, as if she was trying to hold her arms up in the air in her sleep. A used pacifier was still partially stuck in the baby's mouth and Randy slowly removed the item completely, setting it on top of the sky-blue chest before turning his attention towards June.

He immediately wished he hadn't.

The dark-haired woman had twisted and turned into a rather compromising position, with one arm thrown carelessly over her eyes as her silky white legs, which were now their normal, lean shape, were tangled beneath the sheets. Thankfully, June had been wearing shorts and an oversized tee-shirt, but still…

Trying not to think, Randy walked over to June and gently moved her arm from her face. As he did, she pulled her mouth into a frown and shifted to one side, the side that was facing the Legend Killer. His fingers closed softly over her wrist, and he was momentarily dizzied by the pulse there that throbbed in time with his own.

_Fuck…_

He suddenly felt her other hand reach for him, her smaller fingers brushing tenderly against his cheek as her eyelids fluttered with sleep. Randy felt something tighten in his chest at the intimate contact, and his breath caught just below the hollow of his throat as she began to whisper softly into the room.

"Todd…"

He dropped her wrist in disgust and moved away quickly from her. Leaving the room just as soundlessly as he entered, he rubbed his cheek angrily, hating the lingering feeling of her warm fingers against his skin.

_Todd…it was always Todd, Todd, Todd with her…_

Luckily, June never once woke up, and later on she would just chalk up the incident to be a floating, unmemorable dream.

* * *

**Read and review.**


	15. Consequences of Good Intentions

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: I'm sorry about the wait, but I finally got some free time. Not a lot, but enough to get this chapter out. To make up for the delay (and the next wait, because I have no time to write until…next Tuesday), I made this update EXTRA long.

By the way, the draft literally blew me away. Triple H moving to SmackDown was…well, words simply can not describe something like that. Then again, Jeff Hardy's also going, so I guess I have more reasons to watch SmackDown now. On the plus side, Batista's back on Raw! Say, did anyone else grin at the sight of Cena going "Oh fuck, he's going to maim me," when Batista got drafted and gave John that _glare_?

Finally…there's a new poll. Well, it's similar to the old one, but take a look if you have the chance.

**Fifteen: Consequences of Good Intentions**

_A stupid person with good intentions and a smart person with bad intentions can both cause a great deal of harm. _

_At least, that's what mommy told me, anyway,_

_That's something I just don't get. I mean, I can understand how bad people can cause problems for others, because bad people are just a bunch of big mean poopie heads. But how can someone who's trying to do good things cause the same amount of problems as well? If you're trying to do something nice, shouldn't it all end on a good note?_

_Mommy told me that my way of thinking wasn't true. She said that both cases happen all the time, all over the world, at any given moment! She then told me that one time, when I was reeeeeeeeally little, she did something silly when she was trying to do something nice for my daddies. _

_But what ended up happening was that the entire family almost broke apart!_

_When I asked mommy to explain what had happened, she just shook her head and told me that the past was the past, and that there was no point in going back._

_But still…what could she have done?_

* * *

"Let's see…a touch of sage…a hint of salt…just a suspicion of cloves…"

June stood in front of the kitchen stove, stirring the pot of hot porridge as steam lazily drifted up towards the open windows. Nearby, Jamie bounced up and down in her highchair, suckling hungrily from her bottle of milk as she curiously watched her mother cook.

_Mmm! Mommy, what'cha making? That smells deeeeelicious!_

"Jamie," June said softly as she stirred a few cups of cornmeal into the pot, "can you forgive me? I didn't mean to yell at you like I did last night. I lost my nerves, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Can you forgive me, sweetheart?"

_Mommy, you're so silly! You know I'll always forgive you for anything! Heck, I don't really have a choice…if I don't, who'll take care of me? Who'll tuck me in at night and feed me tasty milky-milk?_

"You won't ever see that side of mommy again," June told Jamie firmly, setting the wooden spoon aside as she gave her baby a determined look. "Mark my words, love! Mommy's going to do everything she can to give you a good, decent life."

_Really? Yay, mommy! You're the best!_

"The Champ…is…HERE!"

Both June and the baby looked up as John came noisily into the kitchen, causing the dark-haired woman to roll her eyes. Ever since they were little, the young detective had been incapable of entering a room quietly, especially at breakfast time. He always had to make his appearance felt immediately by creating a lot of noise and clatter, and she remembered many mornings past where Randy would end up throwing a pancake or a glass of milk at John's head in sheer annoyance.

Ah, memories.

However, there was one noticeable difference this morning. In the past, John would always arrive at the table wearing nothing more than an old tee-shirt and a pair of boxers. His face would normally be unwashed and unshaven (which in June's opinion was a shame, because she thought John looked very dashing with a baby smooth face), and his appearance would have been, in general, a total mess. Today, on the other hand, was a completely different story.

Today, the young detective was wearing a white dress shirt with a dark red tie, along with pressed black slacks. His face was scrubbed and shaven, and his blue eyes sparkled mischievously as he gave the somewhat surprised June a dimpled grin.

_Oh my lord_, the young mother thought, her cheeks flushing ever so slightly as she tried to focus on the bubbling pot of porridge on the stove. _He looks so handsome and professional right now…_

"Morning Junie," John greeted, coming up from behind the dark-haired woman to give her a kiss on the cheek. He laughed when she squealed and slapped him lightly on the arm in retaliation.

"Stop that, you!" the dark-haired woman whispered franticly, trying to keep the growing redness on her face to a minimum as John began to laugh even harder. "Behave yourself! The baby's watching us, after all…"

June threw a meaningful glance towards her tiny daughter, who in turn blinked back innocently at her mother with large, curious eyes. _Huh? What did Daddy John do, mommy? What did he do that was so bad? And why is your face so red again? Tell meeeeeeeeeeeee!_

As Jamie began to squirm in her highchair, clambering for her mother's attention, John bent down in front of the tiny infant and took hold of one of the miniature hands. "Hi, Jamie!" the young detective said in a singsong voice, running his other hand through the baby's downy fine hair. "Aren't you just the cutest little princess in the whole wide world? Oh, woojee woojee woojee, just the cutest little princess…"

Hiding a smile behind her hand, June fought the urge to giggle at the sight of all the silly faces John was making for Jamie, who unfortunately couldn't have been more disinterested. With her small hands waving aimlessly in the air, Jamie instead focused her attention on the party decorations that had been left up since last night, her gaze completely fixated on the twirling, sparkling snowflakes and the mounds of soft paper flora attached to the ceiling.

To June, it was quite the scene. In her eyes, John was a strong, vast man of wide shoulders, a great voice, and beautiful blue eyes. And yet there he was, folding himself like a pretzel in front of her tiny infant daughter with absolutely no thoughts at all to how silly he looked.

_He's such a sweetheart…_

"Whoa." Dressed in a black shirt and dark purple shorts, Jeff stopped dead at the kitchen entrance, rubbing the last traces of sleep from his eyes as he stared in shock at the young detective in front of him. "Did hell just freeze over this morning, Junie?" Jeff asked in complete disbelief. "Is Cena actually dressed professionally for the first time since…_ever_?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" John replied indignantly, picking a paper rose from the ceiling and placing it into an excited Jamie's hands. "This is how I _always_ dress for work, thank you very much—"

The rainbow-haired artist cut him off with a snort, and turned to June with a knowing smirk. "Hey Junie, don't you listen to him. This idiot _never _dresses like this. Cena usually just goes to work in those stupid tee-shirts and those long-shorts-short-pants of his…"

"I do NOT!" John retorted loudly, although his face turned an interesting shade of pink at the comment. "I dress professionally when I have to! And anyway…we're in the presence of two beautiful ladies. We _gotta_ look good." At this last statement, John gave June a quick wink, an act that made the young mother giggle while making Jeff frown in displeasure.

"Would you all just shut up?" Randy groaned, rubbing a hand over his just shaven face as he trudged exhaustedly into the kitchen, black business attire and all. Pulling up a chair next to Jamie, he plopped down and arched his brow curiously at John. "What's with the look, Cena?"

"Damn it, Orton! Can't a guy decide to dress professionally for once in his life without getting the third degree?"

Randy scoffed. "When it comes to you, Cena? No. No, I don't think so."

"Fuck you, how about that?"

"JOHN!" June shrieked, covering a blissfully oblivious Jamie's ears in horror. "Language!"

"Sorry…"

"So what the hell happened to you, Orton?" Jeff asked curiously, taking in the Legend Killer's less than immaculate and very tired looking appearance. "You look like you've been run over by a truck. You sleep alright?"

"Shut up, Hardy!" Randy snapped, tossing a bread roll at Jeff's head and scowling heavily when he missed. "I hardly got any shut eye last night because of the kid. I don't need to hear you idiots screaming your heads off in the morning too…"

"Sorry about that, Randy," June said apologetically, slipping a bowl of hot porridge in front of the disgruntled Legend Killer. "Last night was a bit hectic…I hope we didn't disturb you too much."

"Oh no," Randy muttered sarcastically. "The fact that I was awake well into the wee hours of the morning didn't disturb me at all. And the fact that I now have these big black bags under my eyes just makes me feel so _young_ and _happy_ for some reason…"

"Yo Orton, how about you shut that fat mouth of yours, huh?" John cut in, glaring angrily at Randy as a now silent June quietly slipped another bowl of porridge in the detective's hands. "In the first few days, babies cry a lot. I thought you'd already know that, having two younger siblings and all…"

"For your information, Cena," Randy sneered, "I wouldn't know that. Unlike some other incompetent mothers whose names will not be mentioned—" at this, June's face paled to the color of skim milk "—_my_ mother was always able to keep Rebekah and Nathan quiet at nights!"

"Well, she was probably an expert by the time they were born," John retorted. "Knowing what a jackass you are, you probably kept her up for MONTHS with that big mouth of yours!"

"WHY YOU—"

"So Junie!" Jeff said quickly, plucking the drool covered paper rose from Jamie's mouth as he hurriedly took the last bowl of porridge. "What did you make for us this morning anyway? It smells really good."

"It's polenta porridge with beans and sausage," June replied quietly, keeping her head low as she readied another bottle of milk for Jamie. "I thought that since you guys did so much for me, making breakfast was the least I could do…"

"Damn girl, it looks delicious! Plus, it's bound to be better than the stuff me and Cena usually steal from Orton!"

The Legend Killer's eye twitched in annoyance. "Hardy, you're an asshole."

"Right back at you, Orton," Jeff replied casually, before he dug his spoon into the bowl, took a dainty bite…

…and promptly paled. _Oh my god, what the FUCK is this?_

"SHIT!" Randy choked and spat out the porridge, wiping his lips furiously with the back of his forearm. "Where the hell is this food from, Junie? A goddamn third-world country? I can't eat crap like this!"

"I-is it really that bad?" June asked worriedly, picking up her own spoon and scooping some of the polenta into her mouth, her tongue rolling around the food for only a second before she turned green and hurriedly drank down a full glass of juice. "Oh my god! _Sugar?_ I didn't use sugar! Why is the entire dish so sweet?"

John, who had been silent up until now, chewed the polenta thoughtfully. "You know, Junie…it's actually not that bad. It's got a pretty good aftertaste."

"Oh, John! It's not supposed to be _sweet_!" June looked around hurriedly, and grabbed the salt shaker she had used for the dish. "What went wrong? I _know_ I used salt, not sugar!"

"Err…" Jeff swallowed the bit of polenta porridge in his mouth with some difficulty, before he took the salt shaker from June's hand. Turning it over, he revealed that there were two initials written on the bottom, two initials that read _S.U._ "We, um, should have told ya Junie, but we put sugar in salt shakers in this house…"

"Why would you guys put sugar in salt shakers?" June blinked, before she turned to John and Randy with a deadpanned look. "I use sugar bowls…how was I supposed to know that you guys put sugar in salt shakers?"

"That's Orton's fault," John said quickly, pointing his spoon at the less-than-thrilled Legend Killer. "He's the one who's too cheap to buy sugar bowls."

"HEY!" Randy yelled, throwing John a death glare. "The store had a three-shakers-for-one sale. That's a whole lot better than buying two shakers and a lousy sugar bowl—"

"So says the cheapskate."

"Cena, I'm warning you—"

"Guys, just forget it!" June quickly went over to each of the men and grabbed their helpings of food, dunking the polenta porridge into the trashcan as she tossed the now empty bowls into the sink. "I'm sorry, okay? I screwed up breakfast and served bad food…you shouldn't have to fight over my stupid mistake."

"It wasn't bad!" John said quickly. "I actually kind of liked it, Junie!"

"Yeah!" Jeff agreed, although his face still looked somewhat pale from the porridge. "I was almost thinking of asking for seconds…almost…"

"You guys are nuts," Randy said gruffly, before getting up and heading out the door. "Thanks for the…err…_meal_, Junie, but I'll pick up something from work."

"Oh? But I made you lunch too, Randy!" June picked up one of three brown paper bags and held it up nervously in front of the Legend Killer, her large brown eyes staring at his hopefully as she judged his reaction.

It wasn't exactly what she was looking for. Randy's eye was twitching as he stared at the plain brown paper bag, which looked as if it was about to burst from all of the contents inside it. With his luck, June had probably made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich using the sugar-salt shaker. She probably threw in a carton of apple juice and a cup of chocolate pudding, just like the mommies did for their little boys.

It was utterly humiliating. His workers would laugh him out of town if he was seen with a paper bag lunch…

"Junie, it's fine," Randy said quietly, trying not to sound ungrateful as he pushed the brown bag away. "I don't need you to make lunch for me. In fact, I don't want you to make breakfast, lunch, or dinner for me…_ever_."

"But—but why? Is it about this morning?" June lowered the bag, and Randy saw a pang of hurt flash across her face. "Because if it is, I swear, it was just one mistake! I promise I'll check all the seasoning next time."

"Junie, it's fine!" he said in frustration. "I don't want you to trouble yourself, okay? Besides, I think I'm capable of buying my own lunch."

"But Randy…"

"It's fine! Now I gotta go!" With that, Randy left, grabbing his briefcase and slamming the apartment door shut behind him. June, Jeff, and John all winced at the noise, and baby Jamie stared after the Legend Killer with a very confused look on her face.

_Mommy, where's Daddy Randy going? And how come he didn't kiss me goodbye? He's such a meanie!_

"Darn." June looked down at the brown bag sadly, and sighed. "I made him his favorite sub sandwich too. He shouldn't have worried. I didn't use any of the sugar salt to make it…"

"Hell, if he doesn't want it, I'll take it!" John quickly grabbed Randy's bagged lunch in addition to his own. "I get hungry a lot during the day anyway, and if Orton's gonna be a pigheaded _jerk_ to you, even with the baby around, then it's his loss. And if Hardy doesn't want his, then I'll gladly take it off his hands…"

"Go to hell, Cena," Jeff snapped, snatching his own lunch before John could take it. "I happen to like Junie's sandwiches, thank you very much. Besides, there's gotta be—" Jeff peered into the bag "—two giant sandwiches in here, plus side dishes! You can't eat six sandwiches in one sitting…"

"I can if Junie made them," John declared boastfully, making both June and Jeff roll their eyes as the dark-haired woman ushered the men out the door.

"Come on, guys…you're going to be late for work."

"Wait!" Jeff and John both stopped and ran back to Jamie, who giggled as Jeff lifted her into his arms and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. "Bye-bye, Jamie," the rainbow-haired artist said softly, smiling as the tiny infant curiously felt his face with her small hands. "I'll be back later tonight, okay?"

"And I will too!" John added hurriedly, stealing Jamie from Jeff's arms as he gave the baby a kiss of his own. "I'll come back real soon, and I'll bring back a little present for you, okay?"

To this, Jamie let out a happy gurgle. _A present? Oh boy! Daddy John, I hope you really mean it! I'll be really upset if you don't get me a present! I won't ever talk to you again if you lied! Not that I can talk yet…but still!_

"Alright, come on guys!" June stepped in and stole her child back from John's arms, shooing both men towards the exit. "Work. Go. Have a good day."

"We'll be home early!" John said loudly, looking back towards the young mother as they all headed outside. "We'll try to hurry back, okay, Junie?"

"You have our numbers on your cell," Jeff interrupted, "so don't you hesitate to call us if you need something."

"Right, love." June held Jamie in her arms and waved one of the baby's little hands in farewell, all the while smiling as both men got into John's car and drove off towards the busy streets. When the young detective's car finally disappeared around the corner, the dark-haired woman sighed, before turning around to make her way back inside the apartment building.

_I am so lucky_, she thought to herself. _You don't make that many real friends in one lifetime, and yet those guys are so good to me…_

"That's cool, man."

June whirled around at the sound of the new voice, and she found herself staring at a young, Puerto Rican man who had a large mop of afro-like brown hair.

"Oh! Hello Carlito!" she greeted cheerfully, making her way over to him as she juggled Jamie in her arms. She had met him before, for he was the one who lived in the apartment two floors above. The first time she had seen him was when she had moved in with the guys, and he had given her his congratulations on her pregnancy, along with a red, juicy apple.

She had seen him with an apple then, and she was seeing him with an apple now. The young man was taking large bites out of the sweet red fruit as his eyes carefully took in the sight of the little baby, the baby who was currently clutching tightly onto her mother's bosom as if her life depended on it.

"That's a healthy looking kid you have there, ma'am," he said politely, grinning when Jamie looked up at him and gave him a toothless grin. "She's so cute! I bet when she grows up, she'll be a cool little lady, just like her mommy!"

"Flatterer!" June cried, but she found herself laughing along anyway. "Oh, I don't want her to grow up too fast. I want to enjoy the time I have with her just as she is."

"True." Carlito then frowned, and stared harder at Jamie's face. "I just gotta know, though…who's the daddy? Because the entire apartment's gossiping left and right, and I wanted to put a stop to it…"

June blinked. "W-what do you mean?"

"Well, I personally think that detective Cena's the father," Carlito went on, not noticing the dark-haired woman's increasingly uncomfortable look. "I mean, the baby's got the same smile he has, and when she looked at me, I thought for a second that I saw Cena smiling back at me…"

"WHAT?"

"Then again, she _does_ have Jeff's nose."

June promptly turned green at this remark. "Oh my god…"

"But when I think about it, she kinda has Randy Orton's facial features…"

"Okay, that's enough!"

June, who now felt completely and utterly sick, ran back inside her apartment and slammed the door shut behind her, not knowing whether she wanted to rant and rave in anger or throw up in dismay. "Oh my lord," she whispered, her back pressed against a nearby wall as she stared down at Jamie in horror. "They think that Randy, Jeff, and John are the fathers? That's completely ridiculous—Jamie, you look like Todd! Oh, heaven help me…"

* * *

_You see, this is why I think that grownups are so weird. _

_Hey mommy, they ARE my daddies! Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John…all of them are a part of our family! Why are you so upset about that?_

_Honestly, mommy! Can't you see that they love you? Sure, Daddy Jeff's the only cool one right now. Sure, Daddy John's a bit of a goof. Sure, Daddy Randy's being a poopie headed meanie at the moment…but still! They all love you! They love you, and only you, and you shouldn't be upset that they're all my daddies!_

_Sheesh! Am I the only one who knows what's going on? _

…

_ARE YOU SERIOUS? SHE STILL THINKS THAT THE WIMP IS ONE OF MY DADDIES?_

_Somebody, tell my mommy the truth! THE TRUTH!_

* * *

June held the phone close to her ear, quietly listening as her redheaded friend babbled on the other end.

"No, Miss Lita. No, they haven't done anything crazy yet. Give them a chance…they're really wonderful, once you get past their quirks."

Picking up the hot iron with her other hand, the dark-haired woman sprayed some water on one of Randy's dress shirts and very slowly began to press the wrinkles out of his clothes.

"I honestly don't see the problem with me moving in with them," June said quietly. "No, Miss Lita, I don't think that would be a problem because it's _not_ true. I'm still devoted to Todd. For crying out loud! The four of us are _friends_, but that's it!" She paused to listen to Lita's response. "Oh, come on! A woman can be friends with a person of the opposite gender! It's not that hard!"

Frowning, she left the hot iron directly in the middle of Randy's white shirt, unaware of the soft hissing sound that emerged a few seconds later. Jamie, who was sitting in a pile of soft cushions nearby, blinked and waved her little arms helplessly at the scene.

_Mommy! Mommy, look! There's smoke coming from Daddy Randy's dress shirt thingie! Mommy? MOMMY!_

"Miss Lita, I owe them too much! I just…what? Oh. Okay. Okay. Thank you. It's nice to know that your door will always be open for me. Thank you." With that, June shut off her cell phone and sighed, running a hand through her hair before turning to her small daughter solemnly. "Jamie, do you think it's weird for mommy to be living with men who aren't your daddies, even if we're all just best friends? I didn't think there was a problem, but now I'm starting to wonder…"

_Mommy, I don't know who you're talking about. The only people living here are you, me, and my daddies! Now, if you're talking about the guy with fuzzy hair that always eats apples, then yes, it's a little weird! But mommy, the shirt! Daddy Randy's shirt is burning!_

"I don't know, Jamie," June muttered. "Maybe mommy should try looking for another job. If I start working, maybe that will quell those awful rumors…say…what's that smell?"

_THE SHIRT, MOMMY! THE SHIRT!_

"Oh my god!" June shrieked, finally catching wind of the black smoke drifting from Randy's dress shirt. Quickly grabbing the iron, she lifted it away from the clothes, only to shriek a minute later at the sight of the black, iron-shaped burn mark that stood out against the whiteness of the shirt. "No, no, no…he's going to kill me! What am I going to do?"

* * *

"So you see Hunter, a partnership with R.K.O. Corporation may give you that boost you need to get your business on a global scale."

Hunter snorted, and slapped Randy hard on the back. "Come on, Randy. Vince is doing a great job of getting my company name known to the entire world—there's no need to make this party a threesome. Besides…" Here, Hunter looked around cautiously, before he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Trust me, kid…you don't _want_ to get caught up in the old man's new projects. Just between you and me, I think that Vince has finally lost his mind. His new business investment has him giving away _millions_ by the week! Plus, he just put me under the watch of _Vickie __Guerrero__, _of all people…"

"Then why don't you do something about it?" Randy said, staring at the older man in shock. This lack of action on Hunter's part astounded Randy—the older man was known in the business industry as the Cerebral Assassin, for crying out loud, and he wasn't doing anything to save his company! "Stop him before he runs your business into the ground! No offense, but I've heard that Vickie's become a huge BITCH to everyone lately, and—"

"Oh, relax kid!" Hunter said jovially, pausing momentarily to wink at a nearby group of giggling female interns. "I know when to pull the stops! For now, I'm just letting the old man have his fun before I crush him and his so-called company into rubble. And when _that_ finally happens—" Hunter gave Randy a smirk "—I just might have room for a new partner. So what do you say to that, Randy my boy?"

"R-really?" Despite himself, the Legend Killer dropped his cool exterior and stared at the older man in a mixture of shock and happiness. "You mean that, Hunter? I mean, you and me…_partners_?"

"No duh." Hunter rolled his eyes. "Jesus, what's the matter with you, kid? You're acting like Christmas came early or something."

"No, I mean…this is just…ahem. Thanks, man." Randy finally recollected his composure and gave Hunter a calm, cool look. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Uh-huh. And while you're at it, you might want to keep Sam in mind too."

"Huh?"

"She's right over there in the lobby."

Hunter pointed towards the building entrance. Randy turned around, and he indeed saw Sam chatting quietly with Stephanie by the indoor fountain, laughing aloud at some private joke he couldn't hear. The Legend Killer felt the beginnings of a smirk creep past his lips, and Hunter, who had silently been watching Randy's movements, chuckled and placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"Easy there, cowboy," the older man warned. "You might want her, but to court a classy lady like Samantha takes some…how can I put this? _Finesse_."

Randy scoffed, and waved a hand in the air in dismissal. "Please, Hunter. I practically invented the meaning of the word 'finesse.' Don't you know what my other nickname is, besides being a Legend Killer?"

Hunter blinked, before he furrowed his brow in thought. "Um…wait, I know this one. I know this one, I know…OOOH! I REMEMBER! You're the _Dick Sucker_!"

"…"

"…"

Randy's eye twitched, and his hands clenched in anger. _Don't get mad, don't get mad, don't get mad…_ "No, Hunter," he growled through gritted teeth, aching to wrap his hands around the older man's thick neck. "I'm also known as the Lady Thriller. I am NOT GAY!"

"…"

"…"

"I dunno, Randy. I could have _sworn_ that I heard someone call you the Dick Sucker…"

"Would you just leave me alone?" Randy shrieked, which unfortunately attracted the attention of everyone within hearing distance, including Stephanie and Samantha.

"Hi Randy!" Sam greeted as she and Stephanie walked over to the Legend Killer, both women completely oblivious to his less-than-happy mood. "It's been a while! How come you haven't returned any of my calls?"

"Err…" Randy hesitated. Truthfully, he hadn't been able to return Sam's phone calls because of June and the baby and his idiotic roommates, but there was no way he could admit _that_ particular situation at the moment, especially not in front of Hunter…

"You haven't been returning any calls, Randy?" Hunter scolded, waggling a finger mockingly in front of the Legend Killer's face. "That's not good, you know. That's quite the opposite of the _finesse_ thing we were talking about earlier."

"What finesse?" Stephanie said dryly, wrapping an arm around her husband's waist as she ran a hand through Hunter's thick blond locks. "You're in no position to judge others about their ideas of finesse, Paul. Your very notion of 'romance' involves a bottle of wine, a dildo, and us not leaving our bedroom for three days."

"Like I said," Hunter replied, smirking at Stephanie with a lustful look in his eyes, "to court a classy lady, a man needs plenty of finesse and style. How else would I have been able to marry such a pretty little thing like you?"

"Two words, darling," Stephanie retorted hotly. "_Las. Vegas._"

"The best place in the world."

"Anyway," Sam said quickly, blushing and pulling Randy away from the now amorous couple that was Stephanie and Hunter, "I was wondering if you'd like to join me for lunch, Randy. My favorite restaurant's just down the street and I was hoping Stephanie would come, but she seems…_busy_ at the moment."

Sam coughed as the McMahon princess and the Cerebral Assassin began to make out right there in the lobby, with shocked onlookers stopping to stare at the mini-porn session. Randy, who was feeling slightly sick to his stomach, immediately nodded and allowed himself to be led out of the building by Sam.

* * *

"What the fuck happened here?"

Bending down to help Rey up to a sitting position, Dave glared angrily at Edge and his two henchmen, Ryder and Hawkins. Rey was writhing and clutching at his right arm and his surgical mask hanging askew, revealing the look of torment on the smaller man's normally youthful face.

"Dave," Rey grunted, his voice wracked with pain, "I think my right biceps is torn…"

A low rumble sounded from deep within Dave's chest, but he somehow managed to force himself to sound relatively calm. "How did it happen, Rey? Tell me everything…"

Rey swallowed nervously, before he lowered his voice and whispered into Dave's ear. "I was working on two patients with spinal problems, and then out of nowhere, those fucking bastards wanted me and my nurses to give them a fucking _massage_. Like they were in a fucking spa or something. I told them to piss off, and then…" Rey faltered off, hissing in pain as he tried to move his damaged arm.

_Those sons-of-bitches… _Dave stared furiously at Edge, who in turn held up his hands in a pacifying gesture as he stepped away from the clearly furious Animal.

"Hey, it's not my fault," the blond Canadian said quickly. "He was like that when I got here. I had nothing to do with this."

"Really?" Dave said sarcastically. Rey had flinched in Dave's arms at the sound of Edge's voice, a movement that did not go unnoticed as the Animal carefully took in the damaged water fountain, the bent metal of a nearby door, and the broken chair in the corner. "So…if you weren't the one who did this…what about your boys?" He pointed to Ryder and Hawkins with an accusing finger. "Maybe _they_ saw something…or maybe _they_ were the ones who did this to one of my best doctors!"

A muscle went off in Edge's jaw, and the Canadian bent down so that he was eye to eye with Dave and Rey. "What are you saying, Batista?" Edge said in a soft, dangerous voice. "Are you implying that my boys intentionally hurt one of your employees? Why on earth would they do something like that?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Dave replied coolly, glaring just as coldly into Edge's narrowed eyes as he slowly helped Rey to his feet. "Why don't you tell me why you and your boys are in the physical rehabilitation center of the hospital, when you should be serenading my boss instead? Tell me, _Mr. Copeland_—" Dave spat the words out as if it were poison "—why are you _here_ if you don't know what happened to one of my best rehabilitation doctors?"

He was almost screaming now. He knew he shouldn't, and the looks Rey gave him practically begged him to calm down, but he couldn't help himself. His inner beast was _this_ close to being unleashed, and as he sat Rey down in a nearby chair and stepped closer to Edge, almost nose to nose with the blond, it took everything he had not to lash out at the shorter man with his hands and strangle him to death right then and there.

Edge seemed to realize this because he took a step back, but the glare of hatred was still present on his face. "Come on," he goaded, his voice mocking and bitter as he poked a finger roughly into Dave's chest. "Come on, big man. You want me? Come and get me! No one's here…well, no one except for us, my boys, and your little boyfriend over there…"

This was too much. Snarling, Dave grabbed Edge by the collar and lifted the blond straight into the air, choking the man with his own necktie. He raised his fist, about to pummel Edge right into the wall when—

"Dr. Batista! Let him go!"

_Shit._

Dave dropped Edge to the floor, and the Canadian scooted away on his hands and knees, choking and gasping as he huddled in the safety of Vickie Guerrero's shadow. Dave scowled, his fingers twitching in repressed rage.

_Fucking coward…_

"What is the meaning of this, Dr. Batista?" Vickie said coldly, her eyes boring holes into the back of Batista's head as the Animal forced himself to stare only at the ground. He didn't trust himself to speak—anything he said would only be bitterly twisted around by the hospital head to suit her own needs.

"It's not his fault, ma'am!" Rey pleaded desperately, feeling the ominous presence of foreboding raining down upon his and Dave's heads. "It was Ryder and Hawkins! They—"

"They were just helping me with this little errand I had," Edge interrupted, a sneer slowly returning to his face as he spoke. "They were helping me, and when I asked for Dr. Mysterio's help as well, he refused. Got all rowdy and raunchy, and then we got into an accident—"

"Oh my gosh!" Vickie squealed, grasping for Edge's hands and completely ignoring the fact that Rey was still gripping his arm in pain. "Are you hurt, baby?"

"Nah." Edge put up a brave front and clutched Vickie closer to his chest. "With you around, I'll always be okay."

"Oh, Adam…"

"Oh, gross," Dave grumbled, feeling the contents of his lunch shift unpleasantly in his stomach.

Unfortunately, Vickie heard him, and the hospital manager glared angrily in his direction as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you have something to say to me, Dr. Batista?" she said angrily. "Or better yet…don't you have something to say to my fiancé? Like an apology, perhaps?"

"An apology?" Dave stared at Vickie with a look of utter disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me. What the hell do I have to apologize to him for?"

"For almost choking him to death!" Vickie retorted. "You could have killed him!"

"He hurt Dr. Mysterio! Make Edge apologize for _that_!"

"I told you," Edge said defensively, "Rey was like that when I got here!"

"See?" Vickie patted Edge's hand, before fixing Dave with a hard look. "My fiancé is perfectly innocent! Now apologize to him!"

"…"

"Apologize, or you're FIRED!"

Dave looked down, and gritted his teeth. She couldn't be serious, could she? But the look on her face suggested that Vickie was indeed very, _very_ serious. _Fuck…_

"WELL?"

"…" Dave took a deep breath, and lowered his gaze. "Mr. Copeland…"

"_Yes_?" Edge said smugly, his look of contempt now permanently fixed on his face. "Do you have something to say, Dr. Batista?"

"Yes. Yes I do." The Animal then took another deep breath…before he suddenly grabbed Edge by the arm, jerked him forward so that they were chest to chest, and gave the Canadian a dark grin as he drew his fist back. "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

It only took one hit, and one moment.

Then, everything fell apart.

* * *

June picked up the vacuum hose and waved the sucker in Jamie's face. "This," the young mother said to her attentive baby girl, "is the strongest vacuum that's legal in this country. I pleaded with Todd to get me one so that I could clean the house with it…and now, Jamie my love, it's going to come in handy here."

Scooping Jamie into her arms, June carried both the baby and the vacuum into John's room, where she proceeded with caution.

"Look at this place," she muttered, opening the door. There was a jelly handprint on the wall next to John's bed. A pair of boxer shorts hanging from the lamp. The bed unmade. Messy piles of car magazines. Action figures with missing arms and legs. A glass that was full of something that once used to be milk.

The tiny infant cocked her head curiously. _What's the problem, mommy? Everything seems fine…_

"Sometimes I wonder if he was raised by wolves," June muttered, picking the boxers from the lamp and tossing them into a nearby hamper. "This place is a sty. A toxic dump! A pig lagoon! I swear, John's such a sweet guy, but he's just so…messy!" Cleaning up the last of the jelly handprint, the dark-haired woman grabbed the vacuum nozzle and started cleaning up what she _hoped_ was the bedroom rug.

There had to be some reason why the floor felt so soft and fuzzy under her feet…right?

_Wow, mommy! The floor is changing color!_

"Oh my god," June murmured, her dark brown eyes widening as she watched the rug change right in front of her. "The carpet is _yellow_? And here I thought it was grayish-brown…"

As she moved on from John's room to Randy's (which was a MUCH cleaner area, much to her relief), somewhere along the line, she thought she had heard the vacuum suck up something strange.

But she quickly dismissed the idea. It was probably nothing important.

* * *

"Um, Cena, maybe you should stop…"

"I CAN FINISH IT!"

"Cena, you are going to _die_ if you keep doing this…"

"I SAID I CAN FINISH IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Bob Holly and Cody Rhodes exchanged nervous glances with one another as Cena tried desperately to finish his fourth, gigantic submarine sandwich. In the beginning, it had been funny to watch John try to eat all of June's large sandwiches. Heck, several of the surrounding officers had even placed bets on how much they thought Cena could eat. But by the time Cena reached sandwich four (which was a feat in itself, as many of the others would have been full by sandwich two), they started to get just a _tad_ bit worried.

"Cena," Cody said carefully, trying not to provoke the older man too much, "seriously, you should stop. I mean, you wouldn't want to get hospitalized because you made your stomach explode, do you? What would Junie think?"

"…"

"…"

"I CAN FINISH IT BECAUSE _SHE _MADE IT FOR ME!"

"Oy." Bob Holly shook his head. "The boy's finally gone mad…"

"Hmph!" Mickie frowned as she passed out her own sandwiches to the other officers. Never before had John refused one of her meals, and yet here he was, devouring another _woman's_ food as if his life depended on it. And he had the nerve to do it in front of her too! Had he no shame? "Who's this _Junie_ anyway? Is she some new deli owner?"

"HA!" Steve snorted in contempt. "I wish, Mickie. No, Junie's just some girl that Cena's been crazy over since he was a kid. Now that she's single again, he probably thinks he has a shot with her, the poor lunkhead…"

At this point, Bob Holly and Cody Rhodes were now trying to wrestle the sandwich out of John's hands. "That's enough, Cena!" Holly yelled, holding John back as Cody tried to tear the bread and meat out of the young detective's hands. "You've had MORE than enough meat to last you a lifetime! You're going to bloat yourself!"

"NO! I HAVE TO FINISH! JUNIE MADE IT FOR MEEEEEEEEEE!"

"That's it! Cena, put the sandwich down and step away from the food product with your hands behind your head!"

"NO!"

"Rhodes, get the tranquilizers! GET THE TRANQUILIZERS!"

* * *

One of the reasons why June loved Jeff was because they seemed to be "in-tune" with one another.

Jeff's room, although cluttered with artwork and models and paintings to the extreme, was not in the need of much cleaning. She knew that Jeff's mind worked a certain way, and that her touching his artwork would have been sacrilegious to his delicate psyche.

Besides, other than the hamper of dirty laundry in the corner, there wasn't much to _clean_ anyway. Jeff's bed was made, his dog was sleeping quietly in the corner, and his wooden models were posed perfectly on his desk…

Also, Jeff's room had hardwood floors instead of a rug and only needed to be mopped, not vacuumed. Therefore, after giving his room a quick cleaning, June threw the last of Jeff's dirty clothing into the laundry machine, and set the wash rate to _heavily soiled_.

Finally. The last of her cleaning chores were done…

Sighing, she then returned to the bathroom where Jamie was splashing around in her miniature bathtub.

_I like the water, mommy! Water is FUN!_

Bending down on her knees, June smiled as the baby began to giggle happily, sending droplets of water flying all over the place as she waved her tiny arms into the air. "Jamie! Jamie, look!" June whispered, picking up a container of soapy liquid. Dipping a bubble wand into the container, June then held it in front of her face, took a deep breath, and blew gently into the wand, sending a flurry of bubbles all throughout the bathroom.

Jamie's eyes widened and her mouth opened in awe. _Oh, WOW, mommy! Are you a magician or something? Do it again! DO IT AGAIN!_

"That's neat, isn't it?" June said softly, smiling as Jamie's little arms reached for the floating bubbles. "Pretty and delicate…just like you, baby…"

The dark-haired woman blew into the bubble wand again, watching as her daughter squeal with happiness as she tried to reach for the fragile, beautiful bubbles. As June put the bubble container away, something yellow caught her eye.

It was a yellow rubber duck, one that had a pink ribbon attached to its neck with a note that said:

_Hey Jamie! Use this when your momma gives you a bath, okay? I had lots of fun with this when I was a kid, and I know you will too. And Junie, love ya much. Jeff._

June felt the corners of her lips tug upwards.

_Oh, Jeff…_

* * *

Alright, so he had lied to Trish. Again. It wasn't that big of a deal.

As he walked through the mall, Jeff stuffed the last of June's sandwich in his mouth before crumpling the now empty paper bag and tossing it into a nearby trashcan. He could feel his cell phone vibrating silently in his back pocket, but he already knew who it was from, and was it no mood to enlighten the caller.

Besides, he had had enough of Trish to last him a lifetime.

He didn't go to work that day. He didn't want to, didn't _need_ to. He technically only had to show up when he had to hand in his drawings, and thanks to Trish, he was now free for another week. Well, he was _theoretically_ free. He knew that Trish wanted him in her office that day to talk about the previous night, but he was still pretty pissed off at her.

It was all her fault that June ended up with that Batista guy, anyway.

It wasn't that he cared about who June hung out with. It was her life, and if she somehow _did_ end up with that over muscular excuse for a doctor, then it was her choice! He didn't care.

He didn't.

Well, maybe a little.

_Fuck._

He ran a hand through his hair, dimly noting that the dyed colors were beginning to fade. _Maybe I should get a new look_, he thought dully. _Maybe a change in color might grab Jamie's attention. Junie's too, now that I think about it. Or maybe I should just let my hair go natural for once? Nah, that's boring…_

"Sir?"

Jeff blinked, and looked up into the curious eyes of a saleswoman. In his daze, he had inadvertently wandered into a shoe store. A _women's_ shoe store, of all things. "Oh Jesus, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to come in here…" Blushing, Jeff coughed and tried to step out of the store, only to stop when he saw a pair of baby-sized red sandals on the display shelf.

_Oh wow. Those look adorable…_

Without thinking, he reached out and plucked the tiny shoes from the shelf, his fingers running over the soft red leather as he examined the comfortableness of the footwear. "Jamie might like this," he muttered, feeling the soles with his thumb and forefinger as he tapped the heels against his palm. "This is really cute…"

"Are you buying them for your daughter?" the saleswoman asked politely, watching Jeff with eyes that could only be described as curious. "They were just recently marked down, and are now sixty percent off."

"Err…" Jeff blushed again, thinking of Jamie and Junie. Thinking how Jamie might react to having new shoes, even if they were a bit big for her. Thinking how June would stare at him curiously, because he was showing far too much interest in her daughter…

…even though there was a chance that Jamie was also _his_ daughter.

_Fuck, this is too much._

"I'm sorry." Jeff placed the shoes back on the shelf, and lowered his gaze ashamedly. "I was just browsing. I'll be heading off now…"

* * *

Randy fiddled uncomfortably with his tie.

Sam's choice of a restaurant wasn't _bad_—he had been to worst places, courtesy of John and his terrible, misshapen ideas of what fine dining actually was—but still, he was not really comfortable with _this_ restaurant either.

Really, did Sam HAVE to choose a fifteen foot table that had the two diners seated at opposite ends?

"Isn't this place nice?" Sam said loudly, grinning as she looked up from her menu. Randy could only smile back. He was not in the mood to yell across the room every time he wanted to talk to his date, and yet somehow Sam found ways of forcing these peculiar situations onto him…

"Good evening, Miss Speno." A cook, dressed in white complete with gloves and a poofy chef's hat, stopped in front of Sam and gently took her by the hand, placing a gentle kiss across the back of her knuckles. Randy frowned in annoyance, but for the most part, he remained calm.

_It's just a stupid cook, after all…_

"If you don't mind, miss," the cook said sweetly, "I have taken the liberty of preparing the finest dishes for you and your companion. I hope you don't mind."

"I _do_ mind—" Randy began in irritation, before he was quickly cut off by Sam.

"Of course we don't mind!" she said cheerfully. "Jean-Philippe, I always love whatever you make for me, and I'm sure Randy will too, right Randy?"

"Err…"

"Right! Bring on the courses, Jean-Philippe!"

"Of course, ma'am." Jean-Philippe then clapped his hands loudly, and two waiters immediately brought two plates of food to both Sam and Randy, placing the silver dishes neatly in front of them before taking the cover off. Randy blinked at what he _thought_ was a raw egg yolk surrounded by white foam.

_What the fuck is this?_

"This is _le jaune d'œuf avec la mousse blanc_," Jean-Philippe explained, his smile still glued to his face as Sam eagerly cut into the egg yolk. Randy took his knife and fork and tried to mimic her, trying and failing to enjoy the raw egg yolk and the near tasteless foam.

"Mmm!" Sam nodded in approval as she ate the appetizer. "This is very unique! I love it, Jean Philippe! Right, Randy?"

"Uh-huh!" Randy forced himself to nod, all the while bashing his date mentally in his mind. _Oh my god, Sam, have you no taste buds? This shit is nasty!_

The waiters then removed their plates, and placed a small bowl that was no bigger that the size of a child's teacup. "Cucumber gazpacho soup," Jean-Philippe said, indicating to the puddle of green goo that was a terrible mockery of food. Sam drank it down in one gulp, and Randy did too, although he felt like throwing up.

_Cucumber spit soup would have been a better title there, Jean-Philippe._

"Pasta with white bean puree."

_Pasta with shit sauce._

"Lemon sherbet with shaved ice."

_What the hell? The lemon Italian ice they sell in the streets taste better than this shit!_

"Steak with Devil's steak sauce."

Randy stared hard at the very, very tiny portion of meat on his very, _very_ large plate. _Is this some kind of joke? This is the only good thing they served, and it doesn't even make one mouthful!_

"And for dessert…chocolate soufflé with a side of Crème Brule."

He ate both desserts in less than two bites. _Why are the portions so fucking small? This just isn't fair!_

Of course, the worst was yet to come. As the gentlemen of the party, he was the one who had to pay for the meal, not Sam. And unfortunately, it turned out that meal came to a total cost of two hundred and seventy five dollars, without tip.

It was a fucking rip off. He didn't even feel like he ate anything.

* * *

The only thing worse than coming home on an empty stomach was coming home on an empty stomach…and finding out that there wasn't enough food to go around.

This was why he was in such a bad mood later that evening. Hoping that John and Jeff had brought something edible home for all of them to share, Randy had trudged back to his apartment, hungry, irritated, and frustrated to the extreme. After that terrible excuse for a luncheon with Sam, all Randy wanted was a nice, hot meal, even if the two biggest dunderheads in the world had made it.

As he retrieved his keys and slid the correct key into the slot, the wafting smell of steak and baked potatoes reached his nose, teasing him with its tempting scent as his mouth slowly began to water. No way had Jeff or John made that meal—the aroma was far beyond any level of culinary ability that either man possessed. That left only one person, only one _woman_ who could have possibly made that meal…

…and to his dismay, he realized that it was the same woman whom he had told to never make him breakfast, lunch, or dinner…ever.

But if memory served him correctly, June was the type of woman who would set an extra plate on the table for him anyway. She would have made a serving for him anyway, because she usually saw through the shit that came out of his mouth…right? She knew that he didn't mean all that he said to her, that he was just bullshitting her most of the time…right?

He walked into the apartment and came across the sight of June, John and Jeff happily eating through their large, New York strip steaks. There was a giant bowl of baked potatoes with melted butter and sour cream on top, a platter of corn on the cob, and a tall pitcher of ice-cold lemonade in the center of the table.

Jamie, wearing a "Chain Gang" cap that John had brought back for her earlier, was too young to eat solids yet. However, she was content with watching the grown-ups eat while guzzling down her own bottle of warmed breast milk.

There were no steaks left on the serving dish. June had obviously taken his words to heart.

"Randy!" June, immediately spotting him, wiped her lips with a napkin and got up to greet him. "Welcome back! You were late today…did you have a meeting with someone?"

"Ugh." No longer in a mood to talk, the Legend Killer pushed past the dark-haired woman and headed for his room, not even bothering to greet John and Jeff as they stared at him quizzically.

"Hey Orton!" Jeff said loudly, taking a large bite of corn as he spoke. "You too good to say hi to us, man? What, did you fail to crush another company to the ground, Mr. Legend Killer?"

"Shut up, Hardy. I am NOT in the mood!" Opening the door to his room, Randy had to stop and blink for a moment—the area was much more tidy and neat than when he had last left it. "Was someone in here?"

"Junie, man!" John replied, grinning through a mouthful of baked potato. "She cleaned all of our rooms today. Even did our laundry for us! And she found out that my room has a carpet! A YELLOW carpet! I never knew I had a yellow carpet. Hell, I didn't even know I had a carpet to begin with…"

"Uh-huh." Looking around, he saw that all of his shirts had been pressed and ironed, and that his papers had been tidied. For a moment, he didn't know whether to yell at the woman for touching his things…or thank her, because he never once had his room so clean before.

But then, after a quick inspection, he realized that something was missing.

"Junie?"

"Yes, Randy?"

"Where's my UBS flash drive?"

June cocked her head to the side in confusion. "Your what now?"

"My UBS flash drive!" Randy checked the rug, looking under his bed as he swore silently. "It's a little black gadget that attaches to my laptop. I keep my most important files on that thing! You haven't seen it?"

"Um…" June thought for a moment, trying to recall if she had ever seen such a thing. She thought, and thought, and thought…and paled. "Oh no…"

"Oh no?" Randy looked up, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at the young mother in front of him. "What the hell do you mean, 'oh no?' What did you do?"

"I…" June slowly backed away from the Legend Killer, shrinking in fear as she tried her best not to look into Randy's icy blue eyes. "Please don't get mad, Randy, but I…I think I accidentally vacuumed it up when I was cleaning your room…"

"YOU WHAT?" His jaw dropping in shock and disbelief, Randy ran out of his room, running over to the closet where the vacuum was placed. "Shit! Get it out, Junie! I have an important presentation coming up in a few days, and I need that flash drive!"

"I can't!" June explained, her voice rising in a panic. "I just switched bags on the machine! The old bag is mixed in with the other garbage bags in the dumpster outside the building!"

"…"

"…"

"You—you—I can't—" Randy lost his ability to speak. Gripping his short hair in his hands, he squeezed his eyes shut, determined not to look at the pathetic woman in front of him lest he lose his mind completely. He had never felt such hatred towards June as he did now. How could she be so fucking _stupid_? She may have potentially ruined him. His life was over…

"Randy, I'm so sorry…" June tried to touch his shoulder, but the Legend Killer immediately slapped her hand away, his eyes blazing in anger as the woman cowered away in terror.

Good, she _should_ be afraid! Stupid bitch…who told her to clean his fucking room anyway? Why didn't she mind her own fucking business?

"Junie, get out." His voice was calm and quiet, a deadly combination.

June knew this, but she ignored all of the warning signs. "Randy, just let me explain—"

"Get out."

"But Randy!"

"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Suddenly, June felt John grab her arm, and the young detective yanked the dark-haired woman out of the room, slamming the door shut as they left.

Randy was left alone, stewing in his own hatred and anger as he tried to sort things out in his mind. One thought prevailed more than anything else, however.

_This is all HER fault…_

* * *

_This is all your fault…_

The next day, June sat quietly in her room, listening to the tense silence that had fallen over the entire apartment after her latest fight with Randy.

_You stupid, worthless little idiot! How could you have vacuumed up his flash drive? You know how important his work is to him!_

She berated herself over and over again for her stupidity. Everything had been going so well up until that moment, too. She had made a near perfect dinner (she had over buttered the corn, but John and Jeff didn't seem to think so), cleaned the apartment, and had finally managed to bring a more cheerful atmosphere to the place since her arrival…and she had single-handedly destroyed the peace in one blow.

To make matters worse, after she and Jamie went into their room to sleep, she had heard John and Jeff confronting Randy a few minutes later, their voices growing louder and louder as John finally shouted at Randy that if he wanted his flash drive back so badly, he should just dig it out of the trash himself.

June bit her lip, remembering the sneer in Randy's voice when he told John that it wasn't _his_ fault that his files were now hidden amongst layers of garbage. "If anyone should find it, Junie's the one who should be looking in that fucking dumpster, not me!"

She heard a loud smack a second later, followed by the yells of all three men as Jeff tried his best to separate John and Randy from brawling right in front of June's door. After a series of grunts, screams, and frightened shrieks (this was from Jamie, who had awoken from all the noise), the three men finally went off to bed, John and Randy making a solid promise NOT to speak to one another the following day unless absolutely necessary, while Jeff merely sighed and told them to grow up.

_This is all your fault, this is all your fault, this is all YOUR FAULT!_

They kept to their promise, much to her dismay. John and Randy silently glared at one another the next morning and Randy wouldn't even look in her direction as he simply washed, dressed, and left the apartment, not bothering to accept the plate of food that June had placed at the table for him.

Jamie seemed to be aware of the growing tension around her, but she couldn't make sense of what was wrong. _Mommy, what's the matter? Why do you look so sad? And why aren't Daddy Randy and Daddy John talking to each other?_

Before he left for work, John told her to ignore Randy, but it was hard. Jerk or not, she still considered the Legend Killer to be one of her best friends, and it pained her to see him so angry with her. His continuously cold glares ate away at whatever confidence she had left in herself, and her shoulders just seemed to droop lower and lower as she sank into a state of self-hatred.

"Come on, girl." Jeff, who had stayed home for the day, sat next to her on the bed and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "It ain't that bad. Randy's been in tougher situations before—he'll bounce back in no time."

"…"

"He's always a grump," Jeff muttered, his green eyes darkening in remembrance of the argument he had with the Legend Killer the night previous. "You know that better than anybody. He ain't gonna be mad at you forever."

This did not make her feel any better. June buried her face in her hands and groaned. There seemed to be no way out of this, and she was in no mood to play the waiting game. She didn't want to tiptoe around Randy; she just wanted to be comfortable around him for once in her goddamn life…

Looking up, she set her mouth in a hard line as she stood and made her way to the door. Jeff blinked, staring at her retreating back as he picked Jamie up from her crib and followed the dark-haired woman out of the apartment.

"Um, Junie? Junie, where are you going?"

"To the dumpster."

"Oh. Wait, WHAT!" Jeff's jaw dropped as June went outside and behind the building, grabbing the garbage bag from the top of the dumpster and ripping it open. Piles of decomposing food, used toilet paper, and other unmentionable, smelly items fell at her feet, a few bits even staining her shirt and jeans, but June ignored this as she began to dig through the trash with her bare hands, unfazed at the smell and the buzzing flies surrounding her.

"I've got to find it," she muttered, shifting through the dirty contents before frowning and ripping open another garbage bag. "I've got to find it…"

"Junie, stop!" Jeff, grimacing at the stench from the trash, tried to pull June away from the garbage heap while holding on to Jamie at the same time. "Damn it, have you lost your mind? You ain't gonna find his flash drive! The trash from every person in the building must be in there! Junie, just drop it, and—"

"Leave me alone!" June yelled, her eyes watering as she furiously brushed her tears away. "Jeff, just leave me alone! I can find it…I HAVE to! Just go away!"

The rainbow-haired artist stared at the young mother in shock. "Junie, why are you doing this for him? He's not gonna be thankful even if you find it!"

"Jeff, either help me or take Jamie inside!"

Meanwhile, Jamie whimpered at the rising intensity of their voices. _Daddy Jeff, what's going on? Why are you and mommy yelling? STOP IT!_

"Goddamn it…"

Jeff swore quietly, before he set the small baby down on a nearby stroller and rolled his sleeves up, grabbing yet another bag of garbage and ripping it open. June, not expecting the rainbow-haired artist to help, stared at him in shock as he simply gave her a small smile.

"Don't look at me like that, girl. It ain't no fun getting down and dirty by yourself, after all."

* * *

"You look like you're in a good mood today, Copeland."

"Why _thank you_, Randal!" Despite his black eye, Edge looked perfectly happy as he sipped at his cup of coffee, leaning back in his chair while giving Randy a cheerful grin. "As a matter of fact, I _am_ in a good mood today. It's the kind of good mood that you only feel after wild and crazy sex…or if you've just _crushed_ someone you utterly, truly despise."

"Ah." Randy smirked, and shook his head. "It's that kind of feeling, eh? So who was it, Copeland? Who's the unlucky bastard who was stupid enough to cross you?"

Edge snorted and waved a hand in the air in dismissal. "Oh, don't worry yourself. It was just some idiotic doctor and one of his lackeys at Vickie's new hospital."

"A doctor, eh?" The Legend Killer scowled and narrowed his eyes. "I've been having doctor problems of my own lately…but unfortunately, I'm in no position to do _anything_ to him."

"Too bad for you. I tell you, get some deeper connections with Vickie and you can do _anything_ regarding the medical world." The blond then sighed and stared thoughtfully into his coffee mug. "Can you believe that the guy actually thought he could get away with striking _me_? And in front of Vickie too? I mean, come _on…_"

"Who is this asshole anyway?"

"Some big, stupid looking guy. His name's—"

"RANDY!"

Both Randy and Edge looked up at the sound of the woman's voice…but only Randy's jaw dropped open in sheer horror and surprise. Coming in his direction were three people; a very dirty, disheveled looking June, an equally dirty, possibly more disheveled looking Jeff, and Jamie, who was wrinkling her little nose in discomfort at the smells being emitted by her mother and the man who was carrying her.

"Who the fuck are they?" Edge said loudly, gagging slightly as he covered his nose at the stench. "God, are they homeless people? How the fuck did they get past security?"

Randy didn't answer—instead, he rose and tried to escape further into the café, hoping that June wouldn't shout his name out again and bring more attention towards them…

"RANDY!"

No such luck.

"Hey, Orton!" Jeff was the one who yelled this time, and he pushed past several disgruntled guests (all complaining about the smell) as he grabbed Randy by the arm and glared angrily into the Legend Killer's icy blue eyes. "What the hell, man? We was looking everywhere for you, and you can't even give us the time of day?"

"You couldn't have taken a shower first?" Randy hissed furiously, yanking his arm away from Jeff's grip. "Get out of here! I can't be seen with you two now—you're fucking embarrassing me!"

"Embarrassing you?" June, who had now made her way towards Randy and Jeff, stared at the Legend Killer with a look of hurt. "Randy, we just came because—because we found it." She held out her hand and dropped a small, black, UBS flash drive into Randy's palm. It was a bit smudged, a bit stained, but it was otherwise in perfect condition.

Randy was speechless.

"We found it," June went on, her voice becoming quieter and quieter. "Jeff and I…we looked everywhere, and we finally found it. I was worried that you'd need it today, because you said you had a conference coming up, so we just took a cab and ran over here—"

"The conference is in two days," Randy muttered. "You didn't have to do this…" Looking at June fully for the first time since she and Jeff arrived, he finally noticed how torn and dirty her clothes were, how messy her normally neat dark hair was, and how tired and sad she looked.

She had done this, all of this, for him…

And then he realized that the entire café was silent.

People were staring, whispering, looking down upon the filthy June, the dirty Jeff, and the baby, who was now wailing at the unbearable stench. They didn't belong here, he could hear them say. They shouldn't be here. Why was young Randy Orton even speaking to that filthy wench?

And Edge…Edge was watching all of this with a calculating eye, and Randy knew that wasn't good. June was ruining him, even if she didn't mean to. "Get out of here, Junie," he growled, his eyes hardening once again.

"W-what?" June's face completely fell, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Jeff getting angry. "But Randy, I just…"

"GET OUT OF HERE! GO HOME! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A GODDAMN NUSICANCE ANYWAY!" With that, Randy spun on his heels and left, leaving behind a broken June, a furious Jeff, and a still crying Jamie.

* * *

"You are a fucking jackass, Orton!"

"Cena, would you mind your own fucking business? This doesn't even involve you, anyway!"

"Well, I had to hear everything from Hardy, and if Junie's involved, then it fucking _makes_ it my business!"

"Hardy, you bitch! Why'd you open your big mouth for?"

"You want me to knock your goddamn teeth in, Orton? No? Then sit down and shut up!"

Now washed and dressed in a clean set of clothes, June desperately covered Jamie's ears, not wanting her infant daughter to hear the argument that was taking place just inside Randy's room. She had begged, no, _pleaded_ with Jeff not to say anything to John, for she didn't want another fight, but it was all for naught.

Her pleas were disregarded, and now another fight had broken out, all because of her.

_Mommy? _Jamie looked up at her silently crying mother in alarm. _Mommy, don't cry! I'm sure Daddy Randy isn't that mad! Everything will be okay! I hope…_

"You guys aren't part of any business industries," Randy snarled, a hair's width away from slamming John's face into a nearby wall. "You don't know what Hardy and Junie could have done to me today! I had a business associate with me—do you realize the _damage_ that could have been done to my reputation?"

"Fuck your reputation!" Jeff yelled, uncharacteristically furious for one who was normally the middleman of John and Randy's arguments. "That girl dug through the fucking _trash_ to make you happy, and you can't even say thank you? You don't fucking deserve any tears from her!"

"The trash…" John groaned, and tried to shake the terrible image of June digging through the dumpster from his mind. "God, she literally went through shit to get your crap back. You ungrateful bastard, how can you even call yourself a man?"

Randy stared at his supposed two best friends in complete disbelief. "I don't believe this! Every fucking time there's a fight about Junie, I'm the one who gets the short end of the stick!"

"That's because you're the only one who treats her like shit, you dumbass," Jeff snapped coldly.

"You know what? I'm tired of this shit, Hardy. I'm tired of being the whipping boy every time Junie fucks things up—"

"ORTON!"

"Shut up, Hardy!" Randy screamed. "I am NOT done! And you know what? I'm sick of her living here. I'm sick of taking care of a bitch who's not even our wife! Hey, what's the number of that doctor she was whoring around with? Maybe we can get those two married, and get her out of our hair permanently—OW!"

Randy's back slammed hard against the wall, and the Legend Killer found himself staring into the furious face of John Cena. "Orton," the young detective hissed in a deadly voice, "shut your fucking mouth. Don't you _dare_ say something like that again! I won't let Junie go off and marry some stranger! She means everything to me, and so does Jamie!"

"Why, Cena?" Randy said cruelly, his eyes mocking John's in a sardonic manner. "Because you think that Jamie's _your_ baby? Because you think that by some miracle, you can get Junie to magically fall in love with you? HUH? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? _GROW UP!_"

"DAMN YOU!" John pulled his fist back to punch Randy hard in the face, but Jeff then grabbed the detective and pulled him off of the Legend Killer, wrestling him to the ground as Randy stepped away from the struggling pair, panting heavily. Meanwhile, John was absolutely livid. "GET THE HELL OFF ME, HARDY! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! ORTON, YOU'RE DEAD!"

"Cena, cool it!" Jeff yelled, struggling to restrain the enraged detective while Randy merely stood back, not saying anything as he gazed darkly down at the two of them.

"You two are pathetic," he said coldly. "Look what Junie's done to us! She's got us at each other's throats!"

"No," Jeff retorted. "You did that all by yourself, Orton! So don't you dare—"

Suddenly, there was a loud slam at the front door, and all three men fell silent. There wasn't a sound in the apartment now…and that included any noises that might have come from June or the baby.

Exchanging nervous glances, Randy, Jeff, and John all ran out of the room, looking around for any sign of the dark-haired mother and her baby girl.

"Junie?" John ran into the living room, finding only a pile of recently used cushions that Jamie had just been resting on. "Junie? Jamie! Where are you guys?" The three men then ran into June's room, and stopped dead.

Jamie's baby bag, along with one of June's luggage, was missing. On the bed, written in shaky handwriting, was a note that said only two words.

_Forgive me._

Jeff paled and ran outside, yelling for June to come back, but he couldn't find her anywhere on the streets. John crumpled to the floor, clutching the note in his hands, while Randy fell completely silent, still not fully realizing what had happened. But in the end, the severity of the situation sunk heavily into the hearts of all three men.

June and Jamie were gone.

* * *

**New record. Thirty-two pages. (Falls over and dies)**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. Seriously. They are.  
**


	16. A Place to Call Home

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: I'm sorry about the delay. Bad schedules, this chapter being a pain to write, and in the end everything just adds up, you know? But I wanted to deliver a good chapter to you guys, which is why I forced myself to not rush through writing chapter 16 despite the fact that I'm over a week late (which I again apologize for). You guys deserve nothing less than my best, and to rush would have been insulting and careless on my part.

Oh a lighter note, I had a great 4th of July. We partied all night long, and I hope you guys had fun too! And if anyone can figure out where I got June's phone number from or where I got that gerbil reference, I will love you forever.

**Sixteen: A Place to Call Home**

_People aren't perfect, and this concept applies wholeheartedly to my three daddies._

_Take last summer, for example. We don't have a pool where we live. I was bummed out like hell because damn it, I love the water! So to make me happy, Daddy John brought me something nice. It was long and yellow, and you were supposed to lay it out on the lawn, spray it with water, and run across it while screaming like a crazy person._

_SLIP N' SLIDE BONANZA, EVERYBODY! WHOOOOOO!_

_Yeah. It was fun. But it would have been more fun if Daddy John had checked for ROCKS before he laid it down! Slip N' Slide? They should have called it Slip N' Bleed From the Butt Crack! _

_Poor Daddy Randy. He was the first to try it out, and he was trying hard to impress me and mommy. He was like, "Hey Junie! Jamie! Watch this! Wheeee—OW! What the f—OOOOOW! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH!" _

…

_Yeeeeeeeaaaaah. _

_Needless to say, Daddy Randy was __**pretty**__ mad at Daddy John for a long time after that. Poor Daddy Randy had to wear a diaper for five days! I saw headlocks and FU moves for weeks on end! Daddy Jeff wanted to stay out of it and he tried to distract me from their fights, but I'm not a dodo head! I knew what was going on. Luckily, Daddy Randy and Daddy John eventually forgave each other because mommy told them to. _

_You see? They love my mommy so much that they would do anything she tells them to do!_

_But you know? Everybody make mistakes. I make them, my mommy makes them, and my daddies definitely make them. It's what makes us human. However…it's whether you have the ability to say "sorry" and "I forgive you" that makes a difference._

* * *

With the soft front carrier securely strapping the baby to her chest, June sat in a desolate heap in the corner of the bus, keeping her head low as she cradled her infant daughter to her body.

"Jamie," June whispered softly, "what's wrong with me? Even though I'm physically a grown woman, inside I'm still just a little girl. I keep depending on others and end up giving them a hard time. I'm just like unwanted baggage…"

Nuzzling her little face against June's soft chest, Jamie looked up at her mother and frowned. _What on earth are you babbling about now, mommy? You're a big, wonderful person, not a piece of unwanted baggage! Stop being so silly and smile for once, dang it!_

"I wonder where should we sleep tonight, love?" June murmured, absentmindedly stroking the back of Jamie's head with one hand while reaching for her cell phone with the other. Turning the device on, she looked through her phone list, carefully considering each choice in her mind.

Who to call, where to go? These questions were especially hard for the dark-haired woman to answer, simply because she didn't know that many people in the world. Todd, Jeff, John, and Randy had been her whole life, and while she loved each and every one of them dearly, her devotion to them left her few connections and even fewer amounts of phone numbers in her cell.

She knew five—and _only _five—phone numbers. The first three belonged without a doubt to Randy, Jeff, and John…but she couldn't call them. She couldn't.

It wasn't because of what Randy said. June wasn't mad at him in the slightest. She hadn't even heard all of his angry ranting anyway—she had blocked off his voice as soon as he stated that he didn't want to live with her anymore. Besides, what was the point of being mad when everything he said was the truth? She had embarrassed the Legend Killer when she had shown up in front of his associates in that filthy state. She had been depending on him, John, and Jeff financially ever since she had moved in with them.

And she almost lost some of Randy's most important computer files.

She had been forcing the three men to adjust their lifestyles for her, and in truth that had been very selfish on her part. They had already on several occasions gone above and beyond the normal call of duty as her friends. She had burdened them enough with her problems; she couldn't impose on them anymore.

She wasn't mad. She was far from it.

But she was still hurting.

Shaking her head to rid herself of these thoughts, she instinctively held Jamie closer to her body (with the baby giggling happily in response) and resumed looking through her list of contacts.

Her fourth option was to call David Batista. At the recollection of the handsome doctor, June suddenly felt her cheeks grow warm. He had been so kind to her before, and he had been so willing to help her last time, even though he was only her doctor and she was only his patient. Maybe if she just explained her situation to him, he would…

_Idiot,_ her mind hissed mockingly. _What a brilliant idea that is! Call a man who's probably very busy at the moment with sick patients who need his help. Yes, have him waste time on you and drag him into the mess you've created for yourself. Stupid girl, you don't even know him that well anyway, and already you want to throw yourself in his arms? You whore._

Whore.

The word shook June to the very core, and she quickly pushed all thoughts of the doctor out of her head. She couldn't call him either. Not only would it be inappropriate, but it would look bad on both their parts if the man had a family. Hell, what was she thinking? A good-looking man like that most likely had a family already. Probably had a wife, too. The last thing she wanted was to give people the wrong idea.

That left the last number on her list. Lita.

Telling herself that she would only impose on the redhead for only one night, June slowly gathered the courage to dial the older woman's number.

_Please pick up…please pick up…_

"Talk to me."

"Um…" June gulped nervously, before she forced herself to speak in an even, calm voice. "Hi, Miss Lita. I hope I'm not bothering you right now, but I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure, kiddo! You're not bothering me at all. What's up?"

"Well—" June began, before she heard someone laugh out loud in the background. A _man_, to be precise. The young mother blinked, before she stared incredulously at her phone. "W-who was that?"

"Hmm? Oh, that was Matt. You know…Jeff's big stupid lunkhead of an older brother?"

"I ain't a lunkhead!" Matt's voice yelled from the back, and June heard Lita chuckle softly from the other end.

"Ignore the punk, kiddo. We were just catching up on old times. So, how's that baby of yours? Is the trio of idiots treating you okay?"

"Oh! Um…" June bit her lip unconsciously before she laughed in a nervous, jittery manner. "Everything's fine, Miss Lita! Jamie's doing well, and the guys are…the guys are _great_. They're just great." She felt her voice quiver slightly, but quickly regained her composure. "So…you and Matt, huh? I must admit that I never expected you two to hit it off so quickly. Didn't you two meet at the hospital during the day Jamie was born?"

Lita laughed, and June could almost picture the redhead's amused smile. "Aw, hell no, kiddo! Sure, we _did_ meet at the hospital, but we actually go a long ways back. It's a bit hard to explain over the phone though…"

"It's okay," June lied quickly. "I was just going to put Jamie to sleep anyway."

"Huh? But didn't you have something to tell me?"

"Oh no! I just wanted to know how you were doing. Have a good night, Miss Lita, and please say hi to Matt for me." Before the redhead could say another word, June quickly shut off her phone and pulled the batteries out so that Lita (or anyone else, for that matter) couldn't call her back. Dropping her now nonfunctional cellphone back into her bag, she shut her eyes and leaned her head against the cool glass of the bus windows.

It was probably better off this way anyway. She was no good to anyone like this, especially when regarding her baby girl. She had to learn how to live for herself and Jamie. She had to do it on her own.

That was all that mattered.

* * *

"_We're sorry, but the number you are dialing is currently not in service. Please hang up or leave a voice mail by pressing the star key…_"

Jeff swore loudly as he hung up his phone, tossing it angrily into the backseat of Randy's car. "Goddamn it, why won't she answer the fucking phone? Doesn't she know we're worried sick about her? Fuck…" The rainbow-haired artist then glared at Randy and John, his normally calm face twisted with rage and fury. "Why the hell did you two have to be so goddamn loud? You two couldn't have talked more quietly?"

"It's Orton's fault!" John yelled from the back, pointing an accusing finger at the Legend Killer. "He's the one who had to open his fucking mouth and mess everything up—HEY!" The young detective yelped loudly as Randy made a sudden, sharp turn to the right, causing John's face to hit the car window with a _smoosh_. "Ow…"

"Cena," Randy said in a very strained, overly calm voice, "this whole situation was fucked up from the beginning ever since Todd screwed us over with that pregnancy shit. And anyway, all I said was the truth! You were the one who was shouting and screaming like a fucking lunatic in the first place! Hell, you were louder than me and Jeff combined!"

"You son-of-a-bitch! You're not even sorry for what you said, are you?"

"Just what am I supposed to be sorry about, huh? I didn't say anything wrong!"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS?" Jeff screamed, startling John and Randy into silence. "What the hell is wrong with you numbskulls? Argue as much as you want _after_ we find Junie and the baby, you idiots!" With that, the rainbow-haired artist went back to his phone, trying in vain to get in contact with June's unresponsive cell.

John pouted, before he turned his gaze stubbornly to the side window. "Randy started it," he muttered, kicking the back of the Legend Killer's seat for good measure. Randy merely snorted in response, before he returned his focus to the road ahead.

_Damn it, Junie, _he thought angrily. _Why the hell did you have to run off for? Where the fuck did you go?_

* * *

June plopped exhaustedly onto the street bench, dropping the baby bag and her luggage next to her as she tried not to think about the painful throbbing in her legs.

She had gotten off the bus half an hour ago. She honestly hadn't wanted to get off, but after two hours of just sitting motionlessly in the back, she had started to receive strange stares from the driver. The last thing she needed was to draw attention to herself, especially considering her current situation, so she quickly got off at the nearest stop and had walked aimlessly around the streets since then, avoiding drunkards and shady looking characters who eyed her on the dark streets.

But eventually she had run out of strength, both physically and mentally.

The pain rippled through her legs, making every muscle throb so violently that June actually imagined that the concrete pavement beneath her was vibrating in response. She could feel her swollen calves stretch out painfully against her constrictive stockings, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from crying in agony.

But she wanted to. She _wanted_ to. She tried to part her lips, trying to scream, trying to laugh, trying to cry _hysterically_. She wanted to throw her useless body off a bridge and into the darkest, blackest river, because she was scared and frightened and she was so fucking _weak_.

Only a soft whimper wheezed past her throat. June squeezed her eyes shut as she held her baby closer to her chest and pressed her forehead against Jamie's, hoping that maybe if she swallowed down her pain long enough, it would just dissipate and vanish from her aching heart.

All she wanted to do now was lie down on a nice, soft bed and sleep for the next week or so. But she wasn't stupid. She knew that it wasn't going to happen any time soon.

_Mommy? _Jamie, who felt her mother's tears against her face, looked up in astonishment. _Mommy, no! Don't cry! I'm the only one allowed to cry, remember? I'm the baby! You're the mommy! You're supposed to be the strong one! So don't cry!_

"Jamie," June whispered, her voice trembling as the tears poured down her face. "Where should we sleep tonight? Where should we go?"

Meanwhile, Jamie's eyes had widened in excitement at some of the colorful bright lights that were glowing off some of the bars and buildings nearby. _Oh, WOW! I see Cinderella's palace nearby, mommy! Are we going to sleep with kings and queens tonight? That's so cool!_

"I guess we'll have to rent a room for tonight." June sighed, before she wiped her eyes and stood up carefully, trying not to add more pain to her legs than necessary. Slinging the baby bag and her luggage over her shoulder, she slowly began to walk towards the closest motel in the area, pushing through the worn wooden doors as she trudged her way to the bored looking receptionist who had his nose in a dirty magazine.

"Will you be resting or staying the night?" the receptionist said in a dull tone, not taking his eyes off his magazine as he stuck a potato chip in his mouth. June blinked, unsure of the man's terminology.

"W-what do you mean by 'resting,' sir?" June asked timidly as she tried to hold a now fussy Jamie in her arms. "You mean people just stop by and rest in a room only for a few hours?"

The man chuckled, and looked up from his magazine. "Forgive me miss, but that's a very stupid questi…oh." He stopped, staring in surprise at the young mother and squirming child in front of him. "Oh my. Um, _ma'am_, is this your first time in a place like this?"

"Um…" June held Jamie tighter in uncertainty. "To be honest…yes, actually. Is that bad?"

"Well—"

Suddenly, the entrance to the motel opened again, and a somewhat drunken couple staggered into the lobby. June quickly moved aside, keeping her back to them as she tried her hardest not to wince at the strong stench of alcohol being emitted from the disheveled looking man and woman.

_Sweet Jesus, they must have drunk half a bar to smell like that…_

"Hey you," the man murmured, his British accent slightly slurred as he leaned tipsily towards the receptionist. "You know the drill, old chap. I'll be resting for a while with my lady here."

The receptionist smirked. "Of course, Mr. Regal. Should we have your usual room ready, or would you like something a bit more accommodating? There's a new room in the second floor that I think the lady might love…"

"The usual room is fine, so—"

"William!" the woman pouted, slapping British man's arm in a frenzy. "I'm sick of that boring old room! I want one that has a decent view outside, for once!"

"Now Christina," William said gently, "we're not staying the night."

"BAH! You're terrible! Why I even come here with you, I can't even begin to understand! Oh…" Christina then blinked at June and Jamie, the latter of which was watching the couple with wide, fascinated brown eyes. "William! William, look! Look at the little baaaaaaaby! Isn't she cute?" The woman waved at the tiny infant, giggling as she blew Jamie a tipsy kiss.

Unfortunately, Jamie was not enjoying her newfound attention.

_EEEEEEEEEWW! Mommy, who the hell are they? They look creepy and they smell really bad! This isn't Cinderella's palace! This is a demon's lair, and THEY'RE the demons! Mommy, we have to get out of here! I don't wanna get eaten by the demons! Let's get out of here and go home to Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John!_

William was apparently not enjoying Christina's gushing either, for he grabbed the woman by the arm and led her towards their motel room. "Enough with the tomfoolery, Christina! We have three kids already—how much more do you bloody want?"

"You're a spoilsport!" Christina yelled, but damned if she didn't allow her husband to drag her off anyway.

June kept her head low until she could no longer hear their footsteps. When a door slammed shut in the distance, she quickly made her way over to the receptionist and pulled out her wallet. "I'll—I'll take a room for the night, please," she said in what she hoped was a calm voice.

The receptionist raised a curious brow, giving the dark-haired woman an up-and-down stare before he finally snorted and turned around to fetch a room key. "That'll be fifty-six dollars."

"O-okay."

"Will you be staying alone, or will someone be joining you later on, ma'am?"

June paled as she handed three twenty dollar bills to the man with shaking hands. "No, sir. I'll—I'll be staying alone, thank you very much."

"Right." The receptionist tossed her a key, her change, and pointed to the darkened hallway. "Your room's number 110. Have a good night, ma'am."

"Thank you."

* * *

"JUNIE! JUNIE, WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Would you get back in the car?" Jeff yelled, grabbing John and pulling the young detective's head back inside the vehicle just as they entered a narrow tunnel. "Jesus, Cena, you're gonna get yourself killed! Where the fuck is your head at?"

"But we have to find her!" John wailed as he grabbed Jeff's arm and shook him madly. "It's two in the morning! It's not safe for her and Jamie to be out at this time of night!"

"It ain't gonna help her if we kill ourselves in the process of looking for her, you fucking idiot!" Jeff snapped angrily, yanking his limb out of the young detective's grasp. The rainbow-haired artist then sighed and rubbed his aching temples. "Jesus, we ain't getting nowhere with this. She could be anywhere by now…and it's all your fault, Orton!" Jeff added furiously, throwing the Legend Killer an uncharacteristically cold glare. "You just never know when to shut that fucking mouth of yours, do you?"

"Stop pinning all of this on me!" Randy retorted heatedly, trying not to lash out as he parked his car haphazardly next to their apartment building. "Damn it, I didn't tell the girl to fucking leave in the middle of the night! What the hell was she thinking, going out with the baby just like that?" The Legend Killer's grip tightened on the wheel, and he shut his eyes. "Damn it, she's gonna drive me crazy…"

John snorted and turned his gaze towards the window. "I don't blame Junie for leaving," he whispered softly. "If someone said to me the same shit you said to her, I would have left too. Actually, I would have kicked their ass, but that's my point of view, not hers. Anyway, I should have recorded you. Then you would have seen what a cold-hearted motherfucker you really are."

There was no emotion in John's voice. No traces of anger, no hints of sadness. Randy couldn't reply to this, and for a long moment, not one of the three men was able to say another word.

Finally, Jeff broke the heavy silence. "Look guys," he said quietly, "it's late. Junie's a smart girl—she probably found a place to sleep by now. Let's just turn in for the night and try again tomorrow."

"Tomorrow…" John lowered his gaze, shaking his head as he tried to block out the terrible _what-if_ scenarios that were plaguing his mind. "Yeah, you're right. We'll be better off trying to find her in the morning."

"And I can skip work," Jeff added. "I'm not in the mood to be anywhere near Trish anyway. We'll find them. We have to."

Randy said nothing. Instead, he solemnly stepped out of the car and headed inside the apartment building while trying to ignore the painful tightening in his chest.

_If someone said to me the same shit you said to her, I would have left too._

An emotion akin to despair knifed through his heart, an emotion he desperately tried to ignore. _It's not my fault_, he thought bitterly, as the night's events replayed over and over in his mind. _All I said was the truth. It's her own fault for taking it so personally. And anyway, I was angry! I say all kinds of shit when I'm angry! I can't be slammed for that, can I? CAN I?_

But somewhere deep within him, he knew this wasn't true.

* * *

Doctors who were head of their departments usually had offices that were neat and tidy. They had large amounts of paperwork that were normally handled by clerks and volunteers. They had a large desk that was sometimes strewn with heavy files of the newest patients. They had photos of their loved ones hanging all over the walls.

Dr. David Michael Bautista once had an office like that. As head of the Department of Physical Medication and Rehabilitation, he once had a nice, large office that had soft blue wallpaper, a small conference room where he and his team could discuss problems that some of the patients were having, walls decorated to the ceiling with pictures of his daughters and grandkids, and a nice white carpet that had a bloodstain from when a crazy ex-patient had hit him over the head with a shillelagh.

At one time, he had an office like that. At one time, he had been a department head.

Now he had neither of those things.

Dave slammed the last box on the table of his new "office," which in reality was nothing more than a small, cramped, ill-equipped conference room that the hospital never used unless there was an emergency. Rey, with his torn right arm now securely fastened in a sling, kicked a box of files to the corner room with his feet while holding onto his own possessions with his other, still functional arm. Behind them, Edge watched all this with a mocking sneer.

"Congratulations to the two of you!" the blond Canadian said in a semi-sweet, semi-venomous tone as he wrapped an arm around Dave's shoulder. "You two are now officially the newest members of Guerrero Hospital's first ever Research Task Force!"

"We're the _only_ members of Guerrero Hospital's first ever Research Task Force," Dave replied bitterly, shrugging off Edge's arm with a look of disgust on his face. The large doctor was somewhat pleased to see that the black eye had yet to fade from Edge's face, although this was only a small consolation given the current situation. "Don't you think that a team like this needs a few more experienced doctors in the mix? Or at least an intern or two?"

"Nah!" Edge waved his hand in the air in dismissal, a move that silently infuriated the Animal even more. "Don't worry about it, Dr. Batista! Vickie's confident that you and Dr. Mysterio over there—" he tossed a careless glance in Rey's direction "—can manage the Task Force just fine. She and I both have the _utmost_ confidence in you, I'll have you know."

"How comforting," Dave spat sarcastically.

"I know, right? I'm just a bundle of sunshine in this dank and grimy hospital." Edge then smirked at Dave, before leaning in close to the Animal's face. "You brought this on yourself, you know. You shouldn't have messed with me. If you had just apologized in the first place, you and Rey-Rey over there might still have your cushy little jobs in the rehabilitation department…"

Dave felt his hands clench with anger, and he had to work hard to suppress a snarl. _Don't lose your cool_, he thought to himself. _This fucker's just baiting you…stay calm…_

"Hey, homes!" Rey said suddenly, stepping up to the blond Canadian with an angry look on his child-like face. "If you don't want my foot up your _colilla_, you better get the hell out of here!"

"Oh my!" Edge gasped in mock terror. "Is the Spanish midget threatening me? Oh, I'm sooooooo scared!"

"Leave! Now!"

Edge snorted and rolled his eyes. "Pfft! Whatever. See you later, chumps." Edge threw one last contemptuous look in their direction before spinning on his heel and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him with a loud _slam_.

As soon as Edge was gone, Rey let out a sigh of relief. "Damn, I thought he'd never leave, right Dave?" The smaller doctor turned to his friend with a grin, only to pale when he saw the look of utter rage on the larger man's face. "Yo, Dave! You gotta calm down! Don't do anything stupid man…"

"Stupid?" Dave turned to Rey, his eyes blazing with suppressed fury. "What was stupid about you standing up for yourself? What was stupid about me giving that fucker the beating he _deserved_?"

"Dave, come on…"

"I don't regret any of it, Rey. We didn't do anything wrong, and yet we get demoted to this _joke_ of a department! Research Task Force? All we're doing is running _errands _for the other departments! This is a fucking JOKE!" Dave kicked a nearby box in rage, sending it careening to the other side of the room with a very noticeable hole in its now dented side.

"It's Vickie, man!" Rey pleaded desperately, knowing that the animal within Dave was on the brink of being unleashed. "She's not in her right mind, thanks to that bastard Copeland! Once she figures out how much of a selfish jerk he really is—"

"And when will that be?" Dave interrupted coldly, sitting down on a nearby chair as he massaged his temples in an aggravated manner. "Will she figure out that Copeland is only using her when she's already three months into her marriage? When Edge finally shreds the reputation of everything Eddie's worked for into the ground?"

"Dave…" Rey stared at his friend sadly, unsure of what to say. "It's…it's not like that, man."

The Animal sighed, and buried his face in his hands. "Forget it," he muttered through his fingers. "Just go home to your kids, Rey. Go home to your wife and family. I'll finish putting the boxes aside."

"But Dave—"

"Just go." Dave's voice sounded desperate, torn, and Rey knew that the larger man didn't want to be seen in this state. Hesitating for only a second, the smaller doctor placed a comforting hand on Dave's shoulder, squeezing it quickly before leaving the room without another word.

When Rey's footsteps could no longer be heard, Dave looked up from his hands, slowly taking in the sight of the box-filled room that was now the central area for the Research Task Force.

_So. This is what I've been reduced to._

This was killing him. He wanted to talk to someone—_anyone_. He had to let out his frustrations before he exploded, but he didn't want that someone to be Rey. The Spanish doctor had been demoted alongside him. Rey already knew what was going on, and in Dave's opinion, the Spanish doctor was already suffering enough.

Maybe he could call one of his ex-wives? Dave let out a disgruntled snort at the thought. If he had been able to communicate with them and actually talk to them, then he wouldn't have had to divorce them in the first place. His daughters were precious to him, but they were wrapped up in their own busy little lives…

Wow. He needed to find more friends.

Pulling out his cellphone, he ran through the list of phone numbers that were on his speed dial, carefully contemplating each associate through his mind. _Rey, no…I never found the heart to delete Eddie's old number…Shawn? He'd suggest going to the bar, and I'm not in the mood to get drunk tonight. Funaki? How the hell did his number end up on my list?_

And then, he found her number. June Grisham.

The woman whose child he had helped to deliver a few days back. The woman he had willingly broke the doctor-patient protocol for. This was the woman who seemed so fragile and soft in his eyes, the woman who always smiled at him despite the fact that she herself was in pain…

Well, he _did_ want to keep in touch with her anyway. One phone call wouldn't hurt, right?

He dialed her number, and tried to will the sudden nervousness and tightness in his stomach away. But surprisingly (and much to his own disappointment) he received a message stating that her phone was currently not in service.

* * *

Jamie squirmed on the white mattress, kicking her pink blanket off as she held on tightly to one of her mother's fingers. June, who felt her daughter fussing beside her, propped herself on the bed with one elbow and gently squeezed the tiny hand that was grasping onto hers.

"What's wrong, love?" the dark-haired woman whispered softly, leaning down so that her cheek was pressed against her baby's. "Can't sleep?"

_No, mommy. This bed is uncomfortable and weird! I wanna go back to my cribby! I want Daddy Jeff to sing me a lullaby! I wanna see Daddy John make those silly faces at me, even though I don't really think they're actually that funny! And I wanna see Daddy Randy, even if he __**is**__ a big old grouch!_

…

_Can't we go home, mommy? I want to go home. I want to go home to my daddies. _

"Try to shut your eyes, sweetie," June murmured, moving her hand so that it was rhythmically rubbing Jamie's back. "I know it's hard, but don't worry. Mommy's here. Would you like me to sing you a lullaby?"

_Yes, please. But since my daddies aren't here, don't sing __**You Are My Sunshine**__. Sing something else instead!_

As if she could read her daughter's thoughts, June smiled and softly began to whisper a song her own mother had sang to her in the past.

"_Golden slumber kiss your eyes,  
Smiles await you when you rise.  
Sleep,  
pretty baby,  
Do not cry,  
And I'll sing you a lullaby._

_Care you know not,  
Therefore sleep,  
While I o'er you watch do keep.  
Sleep,  
pretty darling,  
Do not cry,  
And I will sing a lullaby…_"

June watched as he daughter slowly closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, with her tiny arms spread out over her head, as if she was trying to hold her arms up in the air. This had become a habit for the small infant, and the mere appearance of the position struck a familiar chord in June…but the young mother just couldn't remember where she had seen that pose before.

It probably wasn't important anyway.

Laying her head down next to her baby's, June shut her eyes and tried to get some sleep as well. But it wasn't easy, not when Randy's cruel words continuously echoed in her mind all throughout the night.

_Sleep pretty darling, do not cry…and I will sing a lullaby…_

* * *

_**Three days later…**_

"Please, Rhodes!"

"NO, CENA!"

"It's a life or death situation!"

"I'm not getting suspended again!"

"PLEASE!" John cried, clutching at Cody's shirt and hanging on as if the younger man was his only lifeline. "You're looking at a desperate man! Junie and the baby might be out there, lost and alone, dying in the _gutters_!"

Cody groaned and threw John a look of annoyance. "Come on, Cena! Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit? I mean, June's a grown woman, after all!"

"She doesn't have anywhere to go! It's already been three days…what if some perp tries to take advantage of her and Jamie?"

"Forget it!" Cody shut his eyes and covered his ears stubbornly. "You're _trying _to get me fired, aren't you? Well it isn't gonna work! I am not going to run an unauthorized search on June's cellphone! I'm not gonna get suspended again because of you!"

"Please!" John begged, getting on his knees as he continued to clutch desperately at the younger man's shirt. "This is the last favor I'll ask you until the end of time! I just need you to find Junie! I have to know where she is!"

"BAH!" Cody shoved the young detective off of him and backed away angrily. "Damn it Cena, have you lost your goddamn mind? Just what is June to you anyway? Isn't she supposed to be your _friend_, and nothing more?"

"…"

"…"

"On the record, yes. She's one of my dearest friends."

"Then why—"

"However!" John interrupted quickly when Cody opened his mouth. "She is also the wife of my deceased friend, and she is the mother of my dau—I mean, goddaughter," the young detective corrected hastily, realizing what he had almost revealed. Then he sighed, and ran a hand over his buzz cut. "Listen Rhodes…I love Junie and that baby more than life itself. I made a promise to Todd that I would take care of them and that I would protect them forever."

Cody's eyes widened slightly in surprise at John's words. "Cena…I didn't know…"

"And now I feel like a heel," John went on, sensing that Cody's resolve was slowly weakening, "because she just up and left in the middle of the night with her baby, the baby I've come to love as my own kid. And Junie…well, you know how I feel about her. It's killing me, not knowing where she is, not knowing if I can keep my promise to Todd…" At the mention of Todd's name, John faked a sob in his voice, knowing full well that Cody himself was on the verge of tears.

God, the boy was just so _sensitive_ at times…

"Just stop, Cena," Cody blubbered, sniffing back a sob as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Just stop. I'll help you so that you keep your promise to your late friend."

John looked up, his sad look immediately replaced with an enlightened one. "Really? You'll help?"

"Yes." Cody let out another sniff, before he got up and motioned for John to follow him. "Into the tech room, Cena. All of my tracing stuff's in there." With that, the two men headed off to the room where the high-level computers were kept, where only technical junkies like Cody and Ted DiBiase Jr. knew how to fully use the equipment effectively.

As Cody stepped inside, he looked around cautiously, making sure that Ted wasn't in the room before he settled into a chair that was set in front of a very large, intimidating looking screen. John let out a low whistle at the sight of what he thought was the keyboard. "Damn, kid! How the hell do you and DiBiase know how to use this stuff so easily?"

The younger man shrugged. "It's not that hard when you play twenty hours of online games a day. Now…what's the number of June's cellphone?"

"Oh. Um…867-5309."

"Right…" Cody typed in the number, pressed enter, and waited. After a few seconds, the young man's lips twisted into a concerned frown. "Strange…"

"What?" John asked nervously, peering at the computer screen over Cody's shoulder. "What's strange? Why is something strange? I don't like it when things are strange!"

"_You're_ strange, Cena! But in all seriousness, the computer's not picking up a signal from June's cellphone. That means she must have turned it off." Cody turned to John with an apologetic stare. "Sorry man, but until she turns the phone back on, there's no way I can trace her."

* * *

"HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?"

Jeff held the phone several feet away, trying to regain some of the hearing in his right ear while Lita shrieked like a banshee on the other end. "Now Lita," he said loudly, still holding the phone at a considerable distance, "just let me explain—"

"EXPLAIN?" Lita screamed, which resulted in the rainbow-haired artist lengthening the distance between his ear and his phone. "What the hell is there to explain, huh Jeff? You and your stupid friends chased off that poor girl and baby out onto the streets! I ought to come down there and kick all of your asses from here to fucking CHINA!"

"It's your fault too!" Jeff said exasperatedly, shifting the phone to his other, still functional ear. "Why'd you let Junie hang up on you? You said that you're her friend too, right? Why didn't you figure out that something was wrong with her when she fucking called you?"

"Are you kidding me, Nero? That girl is a fucking doormat! It's hard to tell what she's thinking most of the time…for crying out loud, I didn't even realize she was in _labor_ until it was almost too late!"

"Alright, I get it!" Jeff ran a hand through his rainbow-colored locks in exasperation and sighed. "Damn, so she ain't with you, and she ain't with anyone we know…where the hell did she go?"

"Why didn't she tell me?" Lita went on, her voice clearly distressed and upset. "She could have told me what happened. I would have taken her in, no questions asked! Why does she have to be so stubborn? Who knows what could happen to her and the baby out there?"

Jeff was on the verge of telling Lita to calm down when he heard another voice in the background shriek, "Is that my brother? _Is that my brother_? Give me the phone, Lita!"

_Oh crap…Matt's there?_

"JEFF!"

"Ow…" Jeff winced—now both of his ears were damaged. Just what did he do to deserve _that_? "Matt, lower the volume, would ya? I think I'm deaf now."

"Just what the hell is wrong with you and Cena and Orton? How could you let that girl leave like that? What kind of friend are you anyway?"

"Look, I explained everything to Lita already! And what are you even doing at her place anyway? I thought you two broke up years ago!"

"We _did_ break up, motherfucker. But there ain't nothing in the law that says we can't still be friends!"

"Well yeah, but—"

"Look, me and Lita are gonna go out and look for Junie too. You better hope that nothing happened to her, or else we're gonna come down there and kick your ass!"

"Whatever. Just leave me alone." Jeff hung up before Matt could rant some more, and rubbed his tired eyes.

Three days had passed, and they were still no closer to finding June. Jeff had spent all three of those days looking for June all over town, not even setting foot in his workplace during his entire search—he had merely scanned Trish his next batch of drawings over the internet and told her that he had some personal problems to take care of at home.

Rolling one of Jamie's pacifiers in his hands, he stared at the yellow plastic with downcast eyes, remembering the first night where he had managed to calm Jamie down while he held her in his arms. He remembered the way the little baby had looked up at him with those beautiful "Junie eyes," as he liked to call them. Sighing, he stuck the pacifier in his mouth and began to suckle on it sadly.

He missed them, both June and Jamie. He might not have been ranting and raving as John was doing (because everyone knew that the young detective was completely crazy about the poor woman and child) but June's disappearance struck a painful spot in Jeff's heart nevertheless. He missed her. June was always someone who made him feel comfortable. She was someone who understood that all of his artworks meant something to him no matter how cruddy they looked. She was the female family member he never had and always dreamed of having, and it wasn't just because her cooking was heavenly and her cleaning was immaculate.

There was also Jamie. The child who possibly belonged to both him and June. Holding that tiny, perfect little infant in his arms…it just felt right.

When it came down to it, he just…he just missed them.

Spitting out the pacifier, he cradled his head in his hands. "Junie…where are you, girl?"

* * *

Randy's inferiors noticed that recently their employer had become much more prone to losing his temper. As a result they cowered before him, each hoping that some _other_ unlucky soul would be the victim of his unbridled wrath.

At present, however, lashing out at a poor soul was the last thing on Randy Orton's mind. For the past three days he had buried himself in work, trying his hardest not to think of a certain brown-eyed woman whose mere memory was causing him to feel unwanted feelings of guilt.

_Fucking bitch. I never had a problem throwing Stacy Kiebler under the bus after I ruined her company, and I never looked back on any of the women I used…damn it, I am NOT sorry for anything I said! I could care less where Junie and that stupid baby is! I DON'T CARE, DAMN IT!_

The phone suddenly rang, and Randy quickly grabbed it with agility he never even knew he possessed. "Did you find her?" he blurted out, the words escaping his lips before he could stop himself.

"Find who, Randy?"

It was Sam. Immediately the Legend Killer froze on the spot. _Oh shit…_ "Baby…um, what's up?"

"I'm fine. But what were you talking about, Randy? Are you looking for someone?"

"Um…" Crap, this wasn't good. Since John and Jeff had been the only ones to call him extensively for the last several days, he had automatically assumed that the call was from one of them and hadn't bothered to check the caller ID.

Well, he'd never do that again, that was for sure.

"I was…um, I was just talking about my pet…gerbil," Randy said stupidly, grabbing onto the first excuse that popped into his mind.

"A…gerbil?"

"Yeah! I just got her, but then my dumbass roommates lost her the first day in! So I'm a little worried about her. I mean, last I checked, the vet told me that she was pregnant and all." He crossed his fingers, nervously hoping that Sam would buy his less-than-credible story.

Surprisingly, he heard Sam gush on the other end in sympathy. "Oh, Randy! I didn't know that you had a soft spot in your heart for animals! That is so sweet of you!"

"T-thanks." He couldn't believe that she had bought the excuse. Even John wouldn't have brought that crap, and he was one of the dumbest people Randy knew…

_Rich, pretty, and dumb as a brick. I think I can work with this little relationship of ours really well, Sam…_

"Listen Randy, I called because I just donated a huge chunk of artwork to the gallery. I was hoping you'd come by and see it with me…"

"You want me to go to the art gallery _again_?" Randy stared at his phone in disbelief. She had to be joking. Didn't he go with her to that blasted gallery fifteen times already? Wasn't she bored with looking at those endless amounts of paintings, for crying out loud? "Listen Sam," he said in what he hoped was a disappointed and empathetic tone, "I don't know if I can go. I mean, I _want_ to go, but I have a lot of work to do here and there's a personal problem that I haven't quite dealt with yet…"

Immediately he knew he had said the wrong thing. He could hear Sam's angry intake of breath from the other end of the phone and he could practically see the woman in front of him, stewing in anger and frustration at his refusal. "The art gallery is going to close in a few days," she said in a clearly unhappy voice. "I spent months trying to get my collection ready! Randy, it's important to me that you come to see it!"

"But Sam—"

"You've become a large part of my life, Randy! I thought you would care, but obviously you don't feel the same…"

"No!" Randy gritted his teeth, and ran a hand over his face in frustration. What he wouldn't give to have an underling in front of him right now, so that he could beat the living crap out of him… _Damn it, this complicates things. _"Sam, wait. Just…just go to the gallery. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Really?" Sam immediately perked up, and she sounded much happier than she had been two seconds ago. "Great! I'll be waiting by the white marble statues. I'll see you there!"

"Right…"

Click. Dial tone.

* * *

Just a little after noon, June had a chili dog and a bottle of coke. Then she brought a copy of the local newspaper, hoping to find a possible job that would be single-mother friendly. Of course, she read the job listings only halfheartedly. She knew that any and all possible employers wouldn't appreciate her bringing Jamie to an interview with her, nor would they appreciate the fact that she didn't have a business suit to wear to said interview.

She had left all of her more elegant clothes back at the apartment, after all.

But halfway through the job search, she had come across an article entitled, "How Environmental Exposure Can Shape a Baby's Perception of the World," which prompted her to take Jamie out in her soft front carrier for a brisk walk around town. She went to the closest park and showed her baby the beautiful blooming flowers, even picking a blossom off of a tree and holding the delicate white petals in front of a fascinated Jamie.

However, her weak legs quickly slowed her down and she ended up sitting on a park bench for over thirty minutes, trying to get the pain to go away.

"Ouch…"

She massaged her knees through the material of her jeans, trying and failing to lessen some of the tension in her joints. After a few minutes of this, she sighed loudly and gave up. It wasn't merely a physical affliction—she was stressed beyond belief, and this only added to her growing list of unwanted problems.

_I only have enough money for a few more days. After that, what'll I do? Not a lot of private doctors have room for an extra medical assistant, and most hospitals prefer nurses anyway. It's not like I can just call up the nearest medical facility and ask for a job…_

Suddenly, a thought struck her hard and fast.

Dave Batista.

During her last visit to Guerrero Hospital, she remembered Dr. Mysterio mentioning that the Dr. Batista was a department head. While she didn't expect the man to give her a job, he might be able to recommend a few other local doctors who might be in need of a medical assistant. And if he didn't, well…

She felt a small blush creep past her cheeks. She had wanted a reason to talk to him again, anyway.

Pulling her cellphone out, she scrolled down to Dave's number and pressed his number on her speed dial. _Don't be nervous_, she told herself. _It's just a friendly call, after all…_

Oblivious to her mother's sudden bout of nervousness, Jamie yawned and shifted uncomfortably in her soft front carrier. _Boring, boring, why is my mommy so boring? Come on, mommy! Stop playing with that strange little box in your hand! It's weird, and I don't like it! It makes it seem like you're talking to yourself…LIKE A CRAZY PERSON!_

June's heart leaped in her chest when a voice immediately answered her call…only to have it sink a second later when she realized that it was a voice message. She listened dejectedly as it said in a robotic tone that Dave's cell phone was shut off, and to leave a message using the star key.

Well, of course he would have his phone turned off now. He was most likely busy with a patient. And at any rate, he was probably using his beeper at the moment, not his phone.

That didn't mean she still couldn't leave a message.

"Oh dear." June swallowed nervously as the message recording began. "Um, hi Dr. Batista. Um…I just called because…because…"

Now she felt bad. What kind of a person called someone out of the blue, just to ask if they knew of any available jobs? It felt cold, abusive, and it looked as if she was just using him, which was the last thing she intended.

"I called because…"

But she was desperate…right? And desperate times called for desperate measures, especially when she had a daughter to think about…right?

"I called because…because I just wanted to say hi. I wanted to know how you were doing, and I hope things are going along well. If not, you can always call me. Well, bye then."

No. She wasn't that kind of woman. She would never stoop so low as to use someone, just to make a situation better for herself. Dave deserved more than that.

With that, she hung up the phone and pulled out the batteries again.

* * *

"Do you see that angel statue over there, Randy? It's rumored that Michelangelo himself may have carved her!"

"Uh-huh."

"And that painting! A work made by none other than the wonderful Raphael!"

"Uh-huh."

"Randy, are you even listening to me?"

"Uh-huh." Randy nodded his head dumbly, not listening at all to Samantha's ramblings. In truth, not only was he disinterested as hell in the boring paintings, but his mind was too preoccupied with June to really focus on anything else.

Upon sending John and Jeff a text message that he had yet another date with Sam, his friends had all but blown up in his face. John had bombarded him with texted death threats and accusations of him being a selfish bastard, while Jeff had shut off his phone entirely, preventing Randy from contacting the rainbow-haired artist.

Eventually, John's text messages became too much and Randy shut off his own phone as well.

As he mechanically allowed Sam to drag him all over the gallery, he wondered, just for a brief moment, if he had erred. Looking back, June had only been trying to help him. His room needed a good cleaning anyway, and if his UBS drive had fallen to the floor, then anyone would have made the mistake of vacuuming it up. Also, he had placed so much importance on his computer files that he had unintentionally forced her to dig through the _trash_ for him.

Who did things like that anymore, anyway? More to the point, what woman on the planet actually cared enough for her friend to sully herself just to make him happy?

And as for the case of a certain Adam Copeland…well, after Randy had claimed that Jeff and June were nothing more than servants to him (a vile lie, but necessary to get Edge off his back), the blond Canadian seemed to lose interest in June and Jeff. Randy realized then that all he had needed to do was stay calm in front of Adam in the first place. Losing his cool in front of everyone had only worsened the situation, and he had done that all by himself.

June hadn't deserved his anger. She didn't even know who Adam was—she had never actually seen any of his business associates. She stayed out of his business circles and could have cared less about his money. She never once involved herself in his business. In fact, she found his whole occupation arduous and boring. She had even thought it deplorable at one point, his ruthless manner in buying out others and underselling the competition. She was too satisfied with her simple way of living, too satisfied with being a medical assistant who helped sick patients.

_Fuck, is this all my fault? Should I even be here, right now?_

"You're bored, aren't you?"

"Huh?" Randy looked up at Sam, blinking at the look of sheer annoyance on the woman's face. "What? What'd I do?"

Sam snorted and crossed her arms in irritation. "You haven't heard a word I said about that sculpture of Cupid, have you?"

"Err…" Randy glanced at the statue, and nearly made a disgusted face at the ugliness of the winged god. Even Jeff's worst clay figures were somewhat more bearable than what he was seeing in front of him… "It's really…pretty?"

"Just as I thought." Giving Randy a hurt look, Sam spun on her heel and walked towards the exit. "Honestly, Randy…if you're so bored, then go home! You obviously don't want to be here. I'm sorry I wasted your time!"

"Wait, Sam! _Sam_!" Randy chased after her out into the parking lot, almost tripping over a small crowd of schoolchildren as he tried to grab her hand. "Sam! It's not like that! Just let me explain—"

"Don't bother!" Sam snapped back as she got into her car, slamming the door in Randy's face. "Goodbye, Randal Keith Orton!"

"NO! Sam!" Randy knocked desperately on the car window, but it did him no good. Sam put the car in gear and furiously drove out of the lot, leaving Randy behind in the dust and smoke.

But damn him if he gave her up without a fight.

Jumping into his own car, Randy drove after her onto the streets, dangerously swerving past other cars in a frenzied effort to catch up to her. Barely avoiding a motorcyclist who was driving in the opposite direction, Randy pulled up next to Sam's car and yelled, "Pull over! Sam, pull over! We need to talk!"

"We have nothing to talk about!" Sam yelled back, before she pushed the gas pedal and sped off at even faster speeds.

"Goddamn it!" Randy swore, slapping his hands against the wheel. "Fucking bitch…I'm not in the mood for a chase today!"

And then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw her. The image passed by so quickly that if he had blinked he would have missed her completely, but he saw her slowly walking down the street, dragging her bags along as she held a tiny infant to her bosom.

"Junie!"

Without a moment of hesitation he immediately pulled over, giving up his chase of Sam as he abruptly skidded his car to a stop right there on the sidewalk, in front of a very startled June. For a split second, the dark-haired woman stood there in shock, not knowing who the crazy driver of the car was.

But when Randy stepped out of the driver's seat, her face immediately paled.

"R-Randy?" June took a step back as he approached her, and before he could say even one word, she bolted, running as fast as she could in the opposite direction (which wasn't really fast at all, given that her legs were still hurting her).

Jamie, in the mean time, had begun to cry. _NOOOOOOOO! Mommy, what are you doing? Daddy Randy is in the other direction! This is the opposite way of where I want to go! I wanna see Daddy Randy! I wanna see my daddies! Mommy, go the OTHER way!_

"Junie, stop!" Randy ran after her, catching up to her almost immediately as he grabbed her roughly by the arm and forced her to face him. "Goddamn it, Junie, STOP! Why the hell are you running from me?"

"Let go!" June cried, tugging helplessly at her captive arm as she tried desperately to get away. "I did what you wanted! I left you alone, so just let go!"

_No, Daddy Randy! Don't let go! I wanna see Daddy Jeff and Daddy John too, so don't you dare let go!_

"Junie…" Randy gritted his teeth, trying not to lash out at the young mother as he pulled her closer to him. "Junie, this is stupid. Do you know how fucking worried you made us? What the hell were you thinking, just taking the baby and leaving like that?"

June simply shook her head, fighting back tears as she fought to pull away from the Legend Killer. "Randy, just pretend you haven't seen me. I'll stay out of your life, I promise…"

At the audible pain in her voice, Randy felt his heart rip in two. She still thought he hated her. She believed him when he had said that everything had been her fault. Looking down, he cursed quietly when he saw that she was heavily favoring one leg over the other. Her legs were probably swollen…

The stupid bitch. Why was she so fucking soft in the head? Why did she have to believe everything that came out of his mouth?

"I'm not asking anymore, Junie," he said angrily, now physically dragging the dark-haired woman back to his car. "I'm _telling_ you to be quiet and get in the car!"

"No! Just leave me alone!"

"Junie!"

"Go away!"

June's wrist was beginning to turn black and blue from the force Randy was applying to hold onto her, and the Legend Killer knew that he only had one option left. At this point, he knew he had to say it, even if he had never shown this weakness towards anyone else before.

Taking a deep breath, he gave June a desperate stare as he loosened his vice-like grip on her arm. "Junie, I'm—I'm _sorry_, okay? I'M SORRY!"

And here, June froze.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry I said all those terrible things about you that night. I didn't mean any of them, and I just want you to come home. I want you and Jamie to come home…"

* * *

**Poll Results:**

**John – He's ahead with 7 votes. Interesting.**

**Jeff – He's in second with 5 votes. Also interesting.**

**Randy – He's in third with 3 votes. Very interesting.**

**Dave – 1 vote. Well, at least he's ahead of Todd…**

**Apparently, no one thinks June should end up alone or that Todd would have been good for her if alive. Man, Todd gets no love. I personally think he's adorable, with his announcer role and the way the entire roster makes fun of him…it is pure comedy! I don't care what anyone says, I'd kiss him.**

**Read and review.**


	17. The Chance to Connect, Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Ah, no one got the gerbil reference. The Rock (on one of his rare visits during the Evolution days of WWE) insulted Randy during an in-ring segment, and…well, it's not funny if I say it here. Check on YouTube, I think they have clips of it.

**Seventeen: The Chance to Connect, Part 1**

_Me and Daddy John saw this weird thing on the news a few days ago. This little kid over in Europe has this really strange medical condition. You wanna know what it is?  
_

_Nothing hurts him._

_I'm serious! Physically, nothing can hurt him! If he gets a booboo, he can't feel it! If he gets a paper cut, he doesn't even flinch. If he breaks his leg, he doesn't scream or nothing. Every time they showed him on TV, he was wearing this crash helmet with elbow pads and knee pads. I guess they made him wear those things because he might hurt himself._

_I mean, why wouldn't he? How would he know if he did?_

_First I was like, "Whoa. He is soooooooo lucky!" But then I wasn't so sure._

_When I was even littler than I am now, I asked my mommy why we have pain. Like, what's it for? She told me it's so that we don't stand around with our hands on a hot stove. She said it's to teach us, but that by the time the pain kicks in, it's pretty much too late, and that's what mommies and daddies are here for. To teach us. So that I don't touch the hot stove in the first place._

_Sometimes I think that mommy has that condition too, only it's on the inside, where nobody can see it except for me and Daddy John and maybe Daddy Randy and definitely Daddy Jeff. Except…I know that she hurts. But she still has her hand on that hot stove on the inside, and she won't take it off. _

_I don't think they make helmets and pads for stuff like that._

_I wish I could teach her. I wish someone could help her._

* * *

Sorry?

He was sorry?

June's eyes widened, not daring to believe what she had just heard. It couldn't be. She must have imagined it. Had Randy, the infamous Legend Killer himself, just _apologized_ to her?

Impossible. She must have been hallucinating. This was the same man who, when he had been a child, had covered a younger Jeff in honey and then staked the poor boy on top of an anthill without so much as a lick of shame. This was the same man who once "accidentally" punted John's father in the head when the young detective's entire family pissed him off, and Randy had never apologized for it.

No, Randy Orton was a man who never admitted any wrongdoings. He was a man who never swallowed his pride for anyone, so to see him apologize to _her_, out of all people, was a completely new and foreign concept.

Subconsciously, June lowered her gaze and bit her lip. What was he up to? First he said that she was a nuisance, that he wanted her gone from his life. Now he was saying that he wanted her to come back to their home—which was more _his_ home than anything else…

Honestly, what the hell did he want from her?

Meanwhile, Randy was frowning at her silent reaction. Even with his vice-like grip loosened, she still looked like a frightened rabbit with no place to run. This wasn't what he wanted at all. He just wanted her to calm down, he just wanted her to forgive him and forget all of the shitty things he said. However, he knew that at the moment, he himself was the problem.

But it was a problem he would soon rectify.

"Junie," he murmured, his voice so low that he could barely hear it himself. "Junie, talk to me."

She didn't reply. He didn't really expect her to.

"Please…I just want to talk," Randy said, his blue eyes begging for her to comply.

June shivered. She didn't understand him at all anymore. "I tried," she whimpered. "I went away. I stayed away. I didn't think you would come here."

Randy felt his insides tighten uncomfortably. "No," he said slowly. "I take it all back. I would take everything back if I could. Just look at me…" His voice was controlled, but his eyes were pleading with her in a mixture of frustration and desperation.

June, on her part, didn't move. She didn't look up. She didn't turn to face him—instead, her free arm tightened around Jamie, who was watching the entire scene with wide eyes.

_Mommy? _Jamie blinked innocently at the pair before her. _Mommy, what's going on? Are you fighting with Daddy Randy? For the love of milk and cookies, WHY? What the heck are you two fighting about? I feel like I'm out of the loop here…AND DADDY RANDY! What did you do to mommy's arm? Why are there black and blue bruises all over it? You kiss her booboos and make them better, you jerk!_

"Goddamn it!" Randy ran a hand over his face, trying to keep his anger to a minimum. This was getting him nowhere. He couldn't have her shaking in fear every time he fucking opened his mouth. It was his fault, but he was trying to fix it, damn it!

Impatience finally overtaking him, Randy's form surged forward, and before the dark-haired woman could utter a frightened yelp, she found herself tightly encircled by a pair of strong arms, with a squealing Jamie squished comfortably to the side thanks to the soft front carrier. Unlike her daughter, however, June was crushed to the other's hard form and was effectively immobilized, her body going completely rigid.

"Randy, get off." The young mother pushed hard at the Legend Killer's chest, but for all her efforts she might as well have tried to break through a steel wall. Fear completely gripping her when she realized he wasn't going to release her anytime soon, she began to thrash wildly in his arms. "Damn it, Randy! Get off! GET OFF!"

"No." Tightening his hold, Randy waited for June to relax. He refused loosen his grip on her until he felt her own body ease. Her shallow breathing worried him, but he knew that he wasn't holding her tightly enough to suffocate her, for it was her own panic that caused her erratic breaths. "Listen to me!" Randy muttered angrily into her hair. "Just relax, goddamn it! I only want to talk…and what the hell are you all looking at?" he yelled, glaring at some of the staring bystanders. "Mind your own business, you fucking bastards!"

"Humph!" An elderly couple quickly averted their gazes, but they continued to whisper quietly amongst themselves. "That young man is so rude!" the old woman murmured. "And to his own wife and child, too!"

"I know," the old man agreed. "These new generations of boys have no respect for the womenfolk…"

June flushed in embarrassment as she hid her face in her hands, her body still being tightly held by the unrelenting Legend Killer. "Oh god…" Eventually June's body slackened, not because she felt more at ease in Randy's presence, but rather that her weakened body had fatigued and she now lay limp in his grasp. "Alright," she whispered. "Alright. I'll go with you. But please…" The dark-haired woman looked up at Randy in desperation. "Let go of me."

"…fine." Undeniably hurt but not allowing it to show, Randy released his hold completely. Holding Jamie close to her chest, June quietly slid into the passenger's side of Randy's car and slouched into the back of her seat. Ignoring the remaining batch of spectators who were watching them on the sidewalk, Randy sat beside her on the driver's side.

He wasn't near enough to be in contact with her, but close enough to touch. Sighing, he took out his phone, turned it on, and texted a quick message to John and Jeff stating that he had found June before quickly shutting off his phone again.

He didn't want to deal with them now. He wanted to make up with June before he dealt with his so-called "best friends."

Jamie wasn't enjoying the atmosphere, however. _Great, _she thought in frustration as she struggled to look up at her mother. _First mommy and Daddy Randy were arguing like crazy people, and now they're all quiet. Like a mouse type of quiet. This is so stupid. Are all grown-ups like this?_

For a long time, neither the young mother nor the Legend Killer said a word as Randy drove through the highway. Throughout the tense silence, June stared only at her daughter, twirling her fingers through Jamie's downy fine hair as she occasionally pressed soft kisses against the baby's forehead. Randy's focus switched periodically from the road to June, and when he watched her from the corner of his eye, he watched her unwaveringly.

_Fuck. Just what do I say to her now? She won't even look at me…_

"Junie?"

No response.

"Junie!"

A flinch. Then, a small intake of breath. "Y-yes, Randy?"

Good. At least she was talking to him now. "I just want you to know something," he said quietly, making a slow turn at a nearby exit, "so just listen, okay? I don't have much to say. I can't explain myself like I thought I could."

He paused for a moment, unsure of how to continue. He didn't know what to do, to say to her. He just couldn't find the right words. He reflected over what had happened during the days of her absence and he struck upon something he wished to speak with her about.

"I…um…I wanted to thank you."

June's fingers stopped mid-twirl, tangling themselves in Jamie's hair. "Why would you thank me?" she asked, her voice small and almost inaudible. "What did I do?"

"You found my UBS, that's what you did." Randy gave the young mother an uneasy smile, hoping to relieve some of the tension in the car. Noticing that the sky was darkening, Randy flipped on the headlights of his car. "I was able to give a kick ass presentation to Vince without redoing the reports and charts so…um…thanks."

"I was the one who lost your files in the first place," June reminded the Legend Killer quietly. "You shouldn't thank me."

"Look, I overreacted last time, okay?" he interrupted, driving up to the apartment and slowing to a stop at the curb. He didn't unlock the doors, however, and he reached out and grasped her hand, forcing her to remain in the car with him. "I…I might have said some things that were beyond unforgivable, and I can't ask you to forgive me. But I want to move on."

June said nothing.

"I want to move on from that, and…and I want to know if there's anything I can do to make it up to you." Randy kept his eyes locked on June's still form. The sudden fear and apprehension which flooded him surprised him, and he realized that he was panicking over her reaction.

Her forgiveness had meant more to him than he had realized.

The young mother, on the other hand, remained silent. She had absolutely no idea of how to respond. Forgive him? Why? What had he done wrong? June stiffened in fear of what he expected from her. What did he want her to say? Would he hurt her again if she made the wrong move? She hunched over, unconsciously trying to hide from his gaze. "Wh-what do you want?" She asked tremulously, her dark brown eyes watching the first drops of rain slide down the car windows in a slow, tedious pace.

_Damn it. _He looked at her in frustration. She was so afraid of him, so completely terrified of him now, and she wasn't willing to believe his apology despite the fact that it almost killed him to say it. _One of my closest friends thinks I'm a monster. _"Forgive me," he said quietly, his hand tightening its grip on her smaller, softer one. "Let's just forget the last couple of days ever happened. That's all I want."

June finally lifted her gaze to meet his, and she gave him a strange, almost questioning glance. "You want me to forgive you?"

"Yes." If he held her hand any tighter, he would have crushed it.

"Randy…" June laughed weakly, and slowly slipped away from his grasp, despite his efforts to hold onto her. "There's nothing to forgive. After all, all you said was the truth, am I right?"

With that, she got out of the car and went inside the apartment building, leaving a stunned Randy behind to wonder what he had expected and why the experience had come up missing.

* * *

"I don't believe this…"

Sam sat in her car, still in shock at what she had just seen. Randy…_her_ Randy…was with another woman. A plain, uncultured looking woman with a child, no less!

Although initially angry at him, Sam had actually found him chasing after to be quite flattering. Hell, she loved it. After all, how many men these days would go through a dangerous car chase just to be with the woman they loved? But when Randy had stopped following her, she had actually stopped her car and turned around, wondering where he went and if he was alright.

And then she had seen him with _her_. That woman…

_Randy, you bastard…_

* * *

"Junie!"

The second she had stepped into the dark, candlelit apartment, she had been swept into John's fierce, asphyxiating hug, with Jeff wrapping his own arms around her a second later. Both men had apparently forgotten that Jamie was still being carried in June's soft front carrier, for the infant was now uncomfortably squished between not two, but three adult bodies.

And it didn't help that two of the three bodies were hard and muscular and CRUSHING.

_AAAAAAAGGGGGH!_ Jamie let out a displeased shriek, squirming madly to get more moving room for herself. _Loosen your grip, people! I don't wanna be a baby pancake by the end of the evening, so give me some room! Personal space! PERSONAL SPACE!_

"Junie, where the hell have you been?" John demanded, his cheek pressed firmly against the top of her head. "Don't you know we've looked all over town for you? How could you make us worry like that?" Pulling away slightly, John took the dark-haired woman's face in his hands, and looked her over quickly. "God, you look so pale and thin…have you been eating right?"

June blushed sheepishly, and buried her face against the crook of John's neck. "I'm fine, love. You don't have to worry about me. And anyway, I thought I was burdening you. That's why I left."

"Why the hell would you think something like that?" Jeff replied angrily, his breath hot against her ear as he continued to hold her in his unyielding embrace. "Don't you know how much we love you and Jamie? And it's raining out there! You could have been caught in the storm!"

As if in agreement, a loud clash of thunder suddenly erupted outside, with the heavy rain hitting harder against the windows. Jamie whimpered in fright at the loud, unfamiliar noise, and Jeff ran a hand over tiny infant's cheek in comfort, grinning when the baby looked up at him with large, grateful eyes.

_Daddy Jeff! What was THAT? Was that a monster outside? Make it go away!_

"Why the hell are the lights off?" Randy grumbled, his voice aggravated and clearly unhappy as he dragged in Jamie's baby bag and June's luggage. "I can't see a thing, Cena. Turn on the lights! I'd prefer not to trip over any of those damn candles. The last thing we need now is a house fire…"

"Power's off," John muttered, slowly leading June to the sofa to sit down as Jeff carefully extracted the baby from the young mother's soft front carrier. "The storm cut off the electricity a while ago. The building owner said that it should come back on in a few hours, but until then, we're stuck with the candles and flashlights."

"But Jamie hates the dark," June protested, "and she's already afraid of the storm…"

Jeff grinned and sat down next to June on the sofa as he plopped Jamie onto his lap. "Well, don't you worry about that, Junie. We'll take the baby's mind off of this old storm, right Jamie?" The rainbow-haired artist pressed a kiss against the top of the tiny infant's head before carefully moving his hands in front of the candlelight, creating a shadow puppet of a bird on a nearby wall. "Tweet, tweet!" Jeff sang in a high-pitched voice, moving the shadow-puppet bird up and down the wall. "Hi, Jamie! I'm Mr. Birdy! Tweet, tweet!"

Jamie stared up at the bird with wide eyes. _Oh, cool! Hi, Mr. Birdy! Where did you come from? And why do you sound like a retarded version of Daddy Jeff?_

Not wanting to be outdone, John quickly took a seat in front of the candlelight and shaped his own hands into the form of a dog. "Woof, woof!" The young detective barked in a voice that was just as high as Jeff's, which earned him a delighted squeak from Jamie. "Hi, pretty lady! I'm Mr. Doggy-Dog! And I am MUCH better than Mr. Birdy over there, so pay no attention to him, okay? Woof, woof!"

"Tweet, tweet!" Jeff's grin was still in place, but it was starting to become strained. "Maybe Mr. Doggy-Dog should just be quiet, and let Mr. Birdy have his say! Mr. Birdy thinks Mr. Doggy-Dog should leave anyway, because Mr. Doggy-Dog is just a no-talent ape of a detective who thinks he knows everything, when he really doesn't! Tweet, tweet."

"Woof, woof!" John's shadow-puppet dog made a biting motion at Jeff's bird. "You got something to say to me, Mr. High-Flyer-Birdy who's already in trouble with the police station for a double drug offense? Keep talking like that, and I may just have to eat you up…woof, woof!"

"John!" June covered Jamie's ears in haste. "Don't say things like that! Jeff's clean now, and the baby doesn't have to hear about those kinds of incidences…ever!"

"Forget about it, Junie," Jeff said coolly, although he casually kicked John in the shin as he continued to make the shadow-puppet bird for Jamie. "The kid can't understand a word we say, anyway. What she can't understand ain't gonna hurt her."

_Actually, Daddy Jeff, I can understand you all pretty well. But Daddy John, what are drugs, anyway?_

Taking the available space on June's other side, Randy sat down on the sofa and scoffed at the bird and dog shadow puppets that were dancing all over the wall. "Hey, can't you idiots use some harder animals? You guys chose the easiest crap in the world to make."

"Oh really?" John dropped his puppet of a dog, and glared at the Legend Killer in annoyance. "Well then…let's see _you_ make something, Ran-dee."

"Fine! Watch this." Holding his hands in front of the candles, Randy contorted his hands until a figure with a plump body and two long ears took shape on the wall. John and Jeff exchanged glances with one another, before they gave Randy a curious stare.

"Is that shit, Orton?" John asked innocently, which caused the Legend Killer to flush angrily in embarrassment and June to pale with horror.

"JOHN! Stop cussing in front of the baby!"

"Sorry, Junie! But still…" John scratched his head at Randy's shadow puppet. "It really _does_ look like a piece of shit…"

"No, you imbecile!" Randy snapped. Wiggling the two long ears of the animal, he said in irritation, "It's a rabbit, okay? It's a BUNNY RABBIT!"

"…"

"…"

Jeff turned his gaze to the side and snickered, while John blinked at the puppet on the wall before sighing. "It still looks like shit, Orton," the young detective said truthfully. "That's gotta be the ugliest bunny rabbit in the world."

No one was really surprised when a furious Randy tackled John to the ground a second later, and June immediately covered her baby's eyes as Jeff shook his head in exasperation.

* * *

_My mommy and daddies are in love with each other, I just know it! Heck, you guys probably figured that out too by now. But what I can't understand is…why don't THEY know it?_

_It's right there. BLAH! Sometimes I just feel like shaking them and saying, "Oh, just admit it! Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, Daddy John, you all love my mommy, and I know that she loves you guys too. So why won't you tell her that already? It's not that hard! This is not brain surgery!" _

_But grown-ups hate it when you talk to them like that._

_Some of the other babies told me that their mommies and daddies are "married." I have no idea what that is **exactly**, but I think it has something to do with the lip kissing and naked wrestling I mentioned a few chapters earlier…_

_ANYWAY! Whatever it is, their mommies and daddies have done the marriage thing and mine haven't. My mommy (the most bee-oo-tee-full woman in the world) used to be married to the wimpy guy, but she isn't married to any of my three daddies, and that just makes me all kinds of upset. _

_And before I go on, let me make this one thing clear: The fact that she isn't married is **not** what's making me upset. I am upset because OTHER people are upset that she isn't married to my daddies._

_I think it's because most other mommies only marry one daddy (which is totally lame, by the way—more daddies equal more fun!) and she doesn't want to hurt my daddies' feelings by picking one over the other. But is there some kind of special law that says you can't marry all three? I mean, she loves all of them and they love her…so can't she pick all three? And if she can't, why can't she just NOT marry them and just live together with them so that we can all stay together as a family?_

…

_What? You mean she might marry someone OTHER than my three daddies? How could you say such a cruel thing? And what's this about Dr. Bob-tee-sa? Well, mommy and I do think he's handsome…and he is really nice. And mommy does act strange whenever he's around. I mean, her face gets all red and she gets all nervous and flustered. She's never like that around my daddies. But still…_

_Ugh. This is giving me a headache._

_Sometimes I worry that I'll be this weird about boys when I grow up. I hate to think that._

* * *

By the time June woke up the next morning, Randy and John had already left for work. Jeff had stayed home, setting a tray of slightly burnt pancakes, over scrambled eggs, greasy bacon, and thankfully unaltered looking orange juice in front of her as she sat up groggily in her bed.

"Morning sunshine," he greeted, sliding the food towards her as he bent over to kiss her cheek. "John and I made you something to eat. Eat it all, okay? You looked pretty beat up last night."

"Thanks, love." June studied the plate of bacon before her. Three thick strips of bacon, blackened at the edges and pink in the middle, were drowning in a puddle of grease. "It looks great," she lied, picking up a strip and nibbling carefully at the edges. "You shouldn't have let me sleep in, though…I would have made breakfast for all of you."

"Shoot, you just got back! I want you to relax, Junie. You really need to get your strength back up. You look so thin…"

The rainbow-haired artist then turned to Jamie, who was awake and was squeaking with happiness from her crib, holding her arms out to Jeff with her tiny fingers curling into her palms in a _take-me_ gesture. When he lifted her into his arms, Jamie promptly exploded with excitement, her knees pumping against his chest, a gargle of laughter catching at her breath.

_Daddy Jeff! Daddy Jeff! Hold me higher! Wheeeeeeee!_

"And hello to you too, baby girl," Jeff whispered, a small smile pushing past the corners of his lips as he pressed a soft kiss against Jamie's forehead. "Well, I can't say there's anything wrong with you, can I Jamie? You're as healthy as a horse."

_Naturally. I AM the most perfect girl in the world, after all! But where's Daddy Randy and Daddy John? I want a hug from them too!_

"I don't know where she gets it from," June admitted shyly, taking a dainty bite out of the eggs as Jeff took a seat next to her on the bed with Jamie lying comfortably in his arms. "She's so much stronger than I am that it's completely unbelievable. I mean, I was never a glutton for excitement and I didn't think Todd was one for drama either, but looking at Jamie…well, it's almost as if she was someone else's child." June then laughed, completely missing the sudden panicked look on Jeff's face. "But that's a silly thought, of course! Jamie is Todd's baby! She's the product of our love."

"…uh-huh." Jeff nodded his head weakly. "Yup, she's the product of your love, alright. You and Todd. No one else's…"

He felt a sudden tightness in his chest and his breathing became constricted. It felt strange, almost as if he was going to cry. But he wasn't going to cry. What June said was technically _her _truth, and to admit otherwise would kill her.

So why did it hurt him so much to keep the secret safe?

"Jeff?" June stared at the rainbow-haired artist in worry and moved the breakfast tray aside, scooting closer to him as she cupped his cheeks in her hands. "Jeff, are you alright? Your face is so pale all of a sudden." Her soft, warm hands brushed over stubble on his face, and he felt his breathing stop entirely at her touch.

_Shit. _Platonic or not, her touches were starting to feel different. And he wasn't entirely sure if he disliked the changes._ Junie…_

"I-I'm fine." Jerking away from June's warm hands, Jeff forced himself to smile. "I'm just a little stressed, that's all. I'm a little behind on work. Trish was up my ass all week for the last couple of drawings I sent her." Actually, Trish was hounding him relentlessly not because of his drawings, but because he had permanently broken off their affair.

But June didn't need to know about _that_.

"I don't understand why she's bothering you like this," June commented quietly, pursing her lips in annoyance at the memory of the blonde woman. "Your drawings are always wonderful and you put so much of yourself in your artwork…a criticism or two can be understood, but she shouldn't be slandering you this much."

Jeff chuckled quietly and leaned his forehead against hers. "Well, you have to admit that your opinion is biased. You always were one of my biggest fans."

"Damn straight, sweetheart." The young mother smiled gently at him, a sight that slowly melted the grin from Jeff's face. From this position, the rainbow-haired artist could have very easily leaned forward to press his lips against June's if he wanted to. He _could_ have done it. Heck, a secret part of him deep within his consciousness wanted to. They were alone after all, and it wasn't as if he and June were complete strangers. What if she liked it? Maybe he should…

Suddenly, a strong, pungent smell jerked Jeff from his thoughts, and he coughed loudly as Jamie began to whimper quietly.

_Mommy, Daddy Jeff, I think I made a poopie. Somebody change my diaper or I'll start screaming!_

"I…um…" Jeff wrinkled his nose at the stench before he quickly scooped the tiny infant back into his arms and stood up from the bed. "I think I'll go change the little lady's diaper."

"Oh, you don't have to do that," June said quickly. "I can—"

"I insist," Jeff said firmly, forcing the dark-haired woman to stay in bed as he continued to hold onto the increasingly distressed Jamie. "I'll even change her outfit while I'm at it. You just stay here and finish your food, okay Junie?"

"But…" June opened her mouth to protest, only to shut it when Jeff gave her a hard stare. "Oh, alright sweetheart. You win. But call me if Jamie starts getting too fussy, okay?"

"Of course." With that, Jeff left the bedroom just as Jamie began to shriek with displeasure. June winced as her daughter's screams increased in volume, only to get cut off when Jeff disappeared into the bathroom.

_Oh Jeff, _she thought, shaking her head despite the smile that was spreading throughout her face. _Sometimes I wonder if you're even human. You're too good to be true…_

Not in the mood to finish breakfast, June opted to get dressed instead. As she reached for her jeans, her phone fell out of her pocket, still turned off and out of service due to the previous…events. The dark-haired woman shook her head to clear the unhappy thoughts from her mind. It was over now—Randy apologized (although it was all her fault to begin with) and it was time to move on.

She turned her phone on, only to yelp a second later when the phone immediately began to ring. She was more than a little alarmed—who would be calling her so early? She checked her caller ID…

…and immediately blushed.

It was Dave Batista.

* * *

**Poll Results:**

**John and Randy – Tied with 8 votes each!**

**Jeff – He's now third with 5 votes. **

**Dave – 1 vote. Aww…I feel bad for him…**

**Okay, this is a short chapter. Well, it's shorter than the last two, anyway…but 12 pages is a decent amount, right? Besides, I just looked at my outline, and if I actually put the whole thing on, this will reach over twenty pages again and that will take at least a week for me to write and proofread in full because of my schedule conflicts for the entire week. I don't want to do that to you guys again.**

**Read and review.  
**


	18. The Chance to Connect, Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: …yeah.

On a random note…Beth Phoenix is FINALLY in intergender matches. Okay, so it was with Ultimate Jobber Santino, but still! It's about freakin' time! Hopefully Beth will bring back some glory back to the women's division regardless of whether she's a face or a heel. Because I miss those good ole' Chyna and Lita days.

Also…is Cena's character supposed to be dead?

**Eighteen: The Chance to Connect, Part 2**

_Mommy and Auntie Lita took me to a place called a "spa" once. Auntie Lita said that as bee-oo-tee-full ladies, the three of us needed to get pampered and spoiled once in a while, especially hardworking people like mommy who never gets the appreciation she deserves._

_What does "appreciation" mean, though? I dunno what Auntie Lita's talking about…_

_I remember lots of handsome men massaging Auntie Lita and mommy, and I remember the three of us taking mud baths, having cold cream slapped against our faces, and wearing cucumbers on our eyes. Cucumbers. On. Our. Eyes. It was definitely…THE COOLEST EXPERIENCE EVER!_

_Before we left, these old ladies rubbed some sweet smelling lotion on my cheeks, while they all painted weird stuff on mommy's and Auntie Lita's faces. I think they called it makeup or something like that. You know…I don't know what they did, but whatever it was, mommy and Auntie Lita came out looking a bazillion times more pretty and perfect than before!_

_Hey, mommy! You should wear makeup more often! I'm sure my daddies would agree that you look wonderful!_

_Up until that point, it had been a really good day. But then, as we were going home, some mean ladies and men passed by the three of us on the street. Normally that's nothing to get upset about, but at the last minute, one of the men turned to mommy and said, "Nice make up…for an ugly bitch!"_

…

_OOOOOOOOH! I swear, if my height had been taller than mommy's knee point, and if mommy hadn't held me and Auntie Lita back, I would have—I would have—I would have __**kicked**__ that mean old man right in the shins!_

_But this isn't about me. This is about mommy. Well…the thing is, she didn't say anything to the mean people. Instead, she told me and Auntie Lita to stay still while she went to get a drink. At first I was wondering why mommy wouldn't let us do anything. But then, mommy went into the nearest deli store and brought this HUGE bottle of orange soda pop. She came back, stood in front of the mean people, and gave them her sweetest smile._

_And then…do you know what she did? Huh? Do ya?_

_She sprayed the soda all over the faces and clothes of those fat old meanies while keeping that sweet smile on her face the entire time! Those mean people ran away screaming like the cowards they were! Booyah!_

_But something was still wrong. While Auntie Lita laughed and slapped mommy on the back for the funny stunt, mommy was gingerly touching her makeup with her palm._

_I think she was sad. Sad because of what those horrible people said to her. But it wasn't right! Mommy shouldn't be letting comments from random strangers get to her! Their opinions are worthless! _

_And how you looked definitely didn't matter…right? I believe that to be a fact, because I know that people can be beautiful on the inside, not just on the outside. It's a rule of life that people should abide by! But to me, I don't think that mommy was too sure about this._

_I told her she was pretty. Auntie Lita told her that she was pretty. And we were both honest about it too! But mommy said something strange. She said that honesty could sometimes be biased. That me and Auntie Lita only said that she was pretty because I was mommy's baby and because Auntie Lita was her friend._

_For some reason, when she said that…something inside me hurt. I knew I wasn't __**really**__ hurt, because there was no blood and stuff, but still…something hurt. I think Auntie Lita was hurt too._

_But I think mommy was the one who was most hurt of all. I hope my daddies tell her how pretty she is to cheer her up._

* * *

Dave stared worriedly at the phone in his hand; his index finger momentarily paused over the touchpad as he tried to figure out what to do. "I must be out of my mind," he muttered. "What the heck am I supposed to say to her that won't make me look like a perverted jerk? I mean, she's not officially my patient anymore, but still…"

Next to him, Rey let out an amused chuckle from behind his surgical mask as he watched the larger doctor struggle to dial the number of a certain dark-haired, brown-eyed woman. "You're worrying for nothing, Dave," he said calmly. "_She_ called _you_, remember? I'm sure the senora would like to hear from you again."

"I suppose so." Remembering the shy, sweet message that had been left in his voice mail by June, the Animal couldn't help but smile.

_Um, hi Dr. Batista. Um…I just called because…because…because I just wanted to say hi. I wanted to know how you were doing, and I hope things are going along well. If not, you can always call me. Well, bye then._

He could practically feel the nervousness in her voice, and her uneasiness made him feel somewhat more comfortable. The fact that she was as unsure as he was about the strange acquaintance between them was in a way reassuring, and the willingness on her part to call him just to see how he was doing touched him, given the fact that he was sweating bullets over simply trying to dial her phone number.

It had been quite a while since he had fumbled over trying to talk to a woman. Normally _they_ approached _him_, not the other way around, and he'd usually just go along for the ride. And yet…

"Hey, big man!" Rey poked Dave in the arm curiously, frowning when there was no response from the larger doctor. "Dave? _Dave? _Bautista! Wake up, man!"

Dave blinked and snapped out of his trance. "Huh? What?"

"Jesus, what's the matter with you, homes? You've been standing there like a robot for the past ten minutes! I mean, I know we have nothing to do as Research Task Force members, but still…it's creepy!"

"Sorry." Dave shook his head, and finally summoned the courage to press the numbers on the touchpad. What did he have to lose, anyway? If things went wrong, he could always hang up, right?

No, wait. That would make him look like an ass…

He could hear the phone ring on the other side. It rang. And rang. And rang…

_Oh my god_, he thought in a blind panic. _Oh my god, she's not picking up. She's not picking up. This isn't good—maybe she's freaked out that I'm calling her. Maybe she thinks I'm a stalker or some psycho obsessed freak of a doctor. She's not gonna pick up…_

The phone suddenly stopped ringing.

_Oh my god, she picked up._

"Hello?" The voice that answered was small, shy, and one that Dave definitely remembered. "Um…Dr. Batista? Is that you?"

"Um, y-yes." He stammered unknowingly at the end, and received a taunting laugh from Rey for it. Dave's eye twitched at this—so much for thinking the smaller doctor was his friend… "How are you, Mrs. Grisham? I hope I didn't wake you."

"No! You didn't wake me. I was already up." There was an uncertain pause, before June spoke almost ashamedly on the other end. "I guess…I guess you got my message then. I'm sorry I bothered you for no reason, but I wanted to know how you were doing and—and—" She was beginning to ramble, and Dave could almost picture her flushing on the other end with embarrassment. "Well…I guess all I can say is that I'm sorry for bothering you. You must think I'm a dunderhead…"

"No, no!" Dave said quickly, hoping to cheer up the young mother. "Don't be! I was actually flattered that you called."

"R-really?"

"Yeah. It's not often that the patient worries about their doctor. Normally it's supposed to be the other way around."

"Oh! Well, I suppose you're right, sir!" Dave could hear June laugh softly, and at the sound of her laughter he felt the animal inside him frolic merrily, something it had not done since he had been a little boy. "So then, Dr. Batista…" The young mother's voice now took on a playful quality. "How has life been treating you? Good, I hope?"

"Err…that depends."

_Good_ wasn't exactly the word he would have used to describe the recent events at the newest branch of Guerrero Hospital. Hell, he had been fucking demoted—things were far from _good_. However, if his hopes and wishes for June became a reality, then he would truthfully be able to say that life had been _wonderful_ to him.

If things went his way, that is.

"Mrs. Grisham…" Dave cleared his throat nervously, an action that inflicted another round of quiet laughter from a certain Dr. Rey Mysterio. "This isn't something I can easily explain over the phone. Now, I hope you won't find my next request too forward, but…"

"What is it, Dr. Batista?"

"W-would you—I mean, that is to say—would you—" The words were coming out before Dave was able to get his tongue around them, and the large doctor had to force himself to calm down by clearing his throat again (all the while sending a hard glare at Rey, who was still chortling merrily at his expense). Finally, he managed to say in a calm, clear voice, "Would you like to join me for lunch later, Mrs. Grisham?"

"…"

"…"

_Uh-oh._

She was silent. Silence was not good. Damn it, he'd done it now. He had probably scared her off. Why were his attempts at finding a good woman so terrible? "Mrs. Grisham? I-it's not what you think, I swear! It's—it's almost completely about business!"

"…"

"You see, I have a job opening," Dave said quickly, saying the first thing that came to his head. And it wasn't a lie—he _did_ have a job opening and he _had_ considered asking her to join his supposed Research Task Force team…even though his new department was about as pointless and ridiculous as those three men she hung around with. "I have an opening in my team, and I was wondering if you would maybe like to have the position, seeing as you've worked in the medical field before your pregnancy."

There was another long moment of silence, a moment that sent the Animal into all sorts of panic. Finally, after an agonizing period of listening to quiet breathing, he heard June sigh at the other end.

"Dr. Batista…"

"Yes?" Good. He hadn't scared her off. That was a very positive sign.

"I-I don't know. I mean, I'm not a doctor. I'm not even a nurse…I'm just a medical assistant. Wouldn't I only get in the way?"

"I'm not looking for people with five degrees, Mrs. Grisham. As of now, I'm currently on the hospital's Research Task Force, and it doesn't matter what your occupation is as long as you have some sort of medical experience. And from our previous conversations—" here, Dave smiled "—I already know that you've had some experience."

"Well…"

"Like I said, it's a bit much to explain over the phone, so let me once again ask my initial request. Would you like to talk a bit more over lunch?"

"Hmm…okay, Dr. Batista. Let's meet later on then."

"Great!" Releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, he felt his grin widened tenfold at her reply. "Stop by the hospital at noon. Just ask for the Research Task Force at the information desk, and they'll point you in the right direction."

"The information desk…alright. Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome." He hung up, inwardly celebrating and still smiling like a Cheshire cat. Rey saw this and chuckled heartily.

_Well then, _the smaller doctor thought to himself._ I take it the senora said yes…_

* * *

"Now, if that end goes here…and the Velcro straps go here…THERE WE GO!"

Jeff fixed the last of the straps onto the disposable diaper before he pulled down the skirt of Jamie's outfit and stepped back, admiring how fitting the dark blue jumper and white bandanna looked on the small baby. Jamie was officially pimped out…Hardy style.

"Osh gosh begosh, Jamie," Jeff commented with a grin. "If people say you that ain't the cutest little gal on this planet after seeing you in _this _outfit, then I don't know what this world's coming to."

Jamie giggled, and grasped her tiny hands around Jeff's finger. _Daddy Jeff, you're so silly! Of course people will say that I'm the cutest little gal in the world! I AM the most perfectest baby in existence, and don't you forget it!_

The rainbow-haired artist then picked Jamie up and pressed a kiss on the little baby's cheek—only to blink when he felt the diaper instantly fall off of Jamie's buttocks. "What the…"

_EEEEEEEEEEEEK! Daddy Jeff, my butt feels cold! My butt is nakie and cold and I don't like one second of it! I hate cold butts and I cannot lie!_

"Shit." Laying the unhappy Jamie back onto the changing table, Jeff grabbed the fallen diaper and tried to wrap it around the baby's bottom again. Unfortunately, Jamie had other ideas and chose this exact moment to squirm around in Jeff's hands, much to her possible father's chagrin. "Come on, baby girl! Just hold still, would ya?"

_No! _Jamie waved her fists angrily at the rainbow-haired artist and let out a shriek of vexation. _Daddy Jeff, you don't know what you're doing! Just go away! I want mommy to change my diaper! Mommy always does it perfectly! Mommy, where are you? Mommy! MOOOOOOOOOMMY!_

"What's going on, love?" June hurriedly rushed into the bathroom, her eyes widening at the sight of Jeff trying to restrain a wiggling, bare-bottom Jamie. "Oh my lord…JEFF! What are you doing?"

"Help me, Junie!" The rainbow-haired artist threw a pleading look in the young mother's direction, his eyes practically begging her for assistance. "I can't get the diaper on! I mean, I did the straps and everything, but it just won't stay on!"

"Good grief…" June made her way towards Jeff and leaned over a pouting Jamie, who was much calmer now that her mother had appeared on the scene. As she gently grasped one of her daughter's tiny, flailing fists, June quickly inspected the diaper and laughed when she spotted the error. "Jeff, you ninny! You put the diaper on backwards!"

"WHAT!" Jeff exclaimed, his green eyes nearly bulging out of his head in shock. "I did no such thing, I'll have you know!"

"Yes you did! The smaller end is supposed to be on the front, not the back! And besides, you didn't press the Velcro straps hard enough…" June fixed the position of the diaper, much to the delight of the giggling little baby on the changing table. "See how much happier she is? Aren't you happy, my Little Miracle from Heaven?" The dark-haired woman then picked Jamie up and blew a raspberry kiss against her stomach, which resulted in the small child shrieking with laughter.

"Well…a brick wall don't have to fall on me," Jeff grumbled, feeling slightly obliged to have a tantrum over how the blissful mother and daughter pair were completely ignoring him. But when June sighed, wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him square into the center of the mother-daughter hug, the rainbow-haired artist suddenly felt the tantrum vanish into thin air, the emotions immediately replaced by a warm, fuzzy feeling of something he couldn't quite identify.

"You big baby," June mumbled into his shoulder, peeking up at him with shining, playful brown eyes. "I swear, it's hard to believe we're almost the same age with the way you act at times."

"Hey!" Jeff protested, giving the dark-haired woman a pouty look. "I ain't that bad! You gotta admit that I'm at least better than Cena and Orton!"

"True."

"But…um…what's with the getup?" Looking down at June, Jeff raised a curious brow at her white button down shirt, the black knee-length skirt, and the silk stockings she was wearing. "You going out on a date or something?"

"No," June said quickly, although a faint blush could still be seen on her cheeks. "I'm just going out to meet a friend!"

"What kind of friend?" Jeff asked curiously, giving June a questioning look. "Have I met em' before?"

"Kind of…" June's blush deepened as a secret smile made its way to her lips, a smile that did not go unnoticed by the rainbow-haired artist.

"Is that so?" Although his voice was calm and friendly towards June, on the inside, Jeff was starting to get slightly suspicious. The only times where June ever dolled herself up in the past were when she had job interviews…or when she and Todd were on one of their special outings. And if she had a job interview, surely she would have told him that, right?

However, June merely shook her head and gave Jeff a reassuring smile. "Don't you worry, love. It's just a friend whom I've wanted to talk to for a while now. But that reminds me…" The young mother looked up shyly at the rainbow-haired artist, and gave him her sweetest smile as she pressed her foreheads together. "Jeff, as my bestest friend in the whole wide world, can I ask you for a small favor?"

"Err…" Jeff blinked, partially due to the question itself (since June didn't normally ask for favors) and partially due to the fact that they were again standing very, very close to one another, with their foreheads pressed together and with their arms wrapped around each other. This made talking a bit difficult—the close proximity alone made it hard for his brain to function properly. "E-exactly how small is the favor, Junie? J-just so you know, I draw the line at capital crimes."

"Oh, you!" June moved away from Jeff and slapped his arm painfully, trying and failing not to giggle when Jeff let out a mock yelp of pain. "I just wanted to know if you would watch Jamie for a few hours! I want to go see my friend, but I don't want to leave Jamie alone…"

"Is that all?" Jeff snorted and pushed the dark-haired woman out towards the door. "Shoot, Junie, go then! God knows you ain't the type to spend a little free time on yourself in excess. You going out to have some fun is something that's long overdue!"

"Yay! Jeff, you're the best! Why can't more men be like you?" June stood on her toes and quickly kissed his cheek, causing the rainbow-haired artist to redden as he touched the patch of skin her lips brushed against. "I'll be back in a few hours, okay? Take good of Jamie!" With that, June pressed another kiss on Jeff's cheek and one on Jamie's forehead before she practically skipped out of the door, leaving Jeff holding a nonplussed baby in his hands.

…_Daddy Jeff, what's wrong with mommy? Has she gone crazy and stuff?_

"Love you, Junie," Jeff mumbled, tightening his hold on Jamie as he carried her into his room where several drawings were scattered all over his work desk. "Well, little lady, it looks like we're got the place all to ourselves. And you know what that means?"

_Um… _Jamie thought hard, before her little face lit up in excitement. _OOOH! I know! We'll throw a __**sexy**__ party!_

"Yup! It's time for you and me to work on my newest comic! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

_Hell no! That sounds boring! Sexy party! SEXY PARTY!_

"And you can be the leading lady, Jamie! I'm gonna base my newest character creation…on you!"

_Really? I get to be the star? Cool! Well, forget my sexy parties, then! Want me to pose, Daddy Jeff?_

* * *

"Mom! Hey, mom!"

Blinking in confusion, Carol Cena looked up from the fruit section just in time to see her second eldest son barreling her, his large arms wrapping her in a tight, crushing hug as some of the other grocers in the store stared at them in shock. "Ack—Johnny, give your poor mother some air—"

"Hey! Get your hands off of your mother!" John Cena Senior ran headfirst into the fray and (with some difficulty) managed to pull his son off of a half-asphyxiated Carol. "Damn it, what're you trying to do, put your mother in an early grave? Try a stunt like that again and you're off the will, boy!"

"Sorry pops," John said, grinning sheepishly as his father rubbed his mother's back in an attempt to get some air back into his wife's lungs. "I guess I got carried away…"

"Ugh." John Sr. shook his head in dismay. "Thirty-one years go by…and you haven't grown up at all, have you?"

"…"

"…"

"Is this a trick question, dad?"

John Sr. buried his face in his hands. "Oh god…"

"What brings you here, honey?" Carol asked quickly, slinking an arm through her son's and steering him clear of his ailing father. "I thought you were busy at the precinct! You should have called first…I would have closed the store to spend time with you."

"Aww, mom! I don't have to call! I just came because I love you so much!" John pecked his mother on the cheek, sending the elderly woman into peals of delight. The young detective then coughed and turned his attention towards the stock of cucumbers near the grocery store entrance. "Say, mom?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Um…how much are those cucumbers over there?"

"Well, they're about several dollars per pound these days…why?"

"Oh, no reason." John began to grab several cucumbers and stuffed them into a nearby plastic bag. "I'll just buy these, okay? I have this strange craving for cucumbers, lately…"

Carol and John Sr. exchanged glances, before the latter turned to his son with a questioning stare. "But son, you hate cucumbers."

"No I don't!" John said a little too defensively.

"…yes, you do," John Sr. replied slowly. "When you were little, you actually threatened to jump out the window rather than eat a single cucumber slice."

"No I didn't! You lie, dad! You _lie_!"

"I have the video tape to prove it! You actually held Daniel hostage with a spoon!"

"…"

"…"

"…a spoon, dad? Really?"

"…yes. And wipe that smug look off your face! It's nothing to be proud of!"

"Wow." John laughed, and ran a hand over his buzz cut. "I was one wild little punk back then, wasn't I, mom?"

"Yes, sweetie," Carl replied automatically, wrapping up the cucumbers and passing them off to John with a smile. When John pulled out his wallet, she held up a hand to stop him. "Don't worry about it, Johnny. It's on me."

"Carol!" John Sr. exclaimed. "Don't baby him! He's a grown man and one of the best detectives in the state! He can afford a few cucumbers on his own!"

"Oh, let me baby him a little bit!" Carol protested. "He's the only one of my boys who actually stops by to say hi to his poor old mother. Oh, and Johnny—" Carol handed the young detective a bag of oranges "—takes these too. They're really delicious this time of the year."

"Oy." John Sr. hung his head. "No one listens to me anymore…"

John took out one of the oranges, peeled it quickly, and stuck a slice in his mouth. His blue eyes lit up instantly at the tangy, sweet taste that seeped quickly into his taste buds. "Mmm! These _are _good! Thanks mom, I'm sure Junie will love them."

"Eh?" His father's ears suddenly twitched, and John Sr. turned to the young detective with a now clearly suspicious look on his face. "John…"

_Uh-oh. I know that tone…_

Gulping down his orange, John gave his father his most innocent expression. "Yes, dad?"

"Are you still hanging around Todd's wife? Is she the one you're buying cucumbers and fruit for?"

"…"

"…"

"…no?"

"Don't you lie to me, boy!" his father yelled, grabbing John and dragging him towards the end of the store where fewer people were gathered before sitting him down in a corner. "Now," John Sr. said gravely, crossing his arms in front of his chest in an intimidating manner, "tell me the truth. Why are you still hanging around a woman who was already married once to one of your best friends, and who already has a child of her own?"

The young detective didn't answer. Instead, he stuck the entire orange into his mouth, chewing so loudly that even if he _had_ answered, any response he made would have been completely unintelligible.

"Damn it, son!" John Sr. snapped, slapping John in the back so painfully that the chewed up mess of oranges practically flew out of the younger man's mouth and onto the floor. ("Ack! Watch it!" Carol yelled from the other side of the store. "I just cleaned that floor!") "I can't believe you! I mean, I know I always tell you to get married, but not like this!"

"Dad!" John wiped his lips with his sleeve and gave his father a pleading stare. "Come on, dad! I'm just trying to help her!"

"You're always trying to help her. Ever since you were two-years-old, you were always right by her side! Now listen, boy…" John Sr. took a seat next to his son and gave the young detective his most serious glare. "I'm only going to tell you this once. If you hang around a woman too long, you'll start to get comfortable around her. When you start to get comfortable, you start revealing secrets to one another. When you do that, you two start to feel like you're connecting, and that leads to one having less-than-platonic feelings for the other! You'll start feeling physical tension whether you want to or not, and then you're hooked, boy!"

"Dad, stop! I just wanted some cucumbers! I swear, it's all for me…I promise!" John held up the bag almost desperately in front of his father, and the older man stared hard at his second eldest son, wondering if his own flesh and blood was lying to him at the very moment.

Hell, he probably was, but unfortunately, John Cena Senior wasn't a human lie detector.

"…fine. Go." John Sr. sat away from his son and lowered his gaze. "Foolish boy…"

"Dad…I'm sorry." John gave his father a quick hug from behind and quickly ran out of the grocery store, kissing his mother on the cheek again before he left.

From behind the bread section, Rebekah Orton peered out curiously from behind a sourdough loaf. "Junie?" she mumbled curiously. "Is that the Junie my brother liked to hang out with when he was younger? Hmm…"

* * *

Holding the bouquet of long stemmed roses at arm's length, Randy resisted the urge to sneeze his head off.

"Ah—ah—ACHOOO! Ugh…I hate these goddamn fucking allergies…"

Wiping his nose with a tissue, Randy went into the country club wearing a sharp gray suit and a white dress shirt that was tight enough to freely show off his muscles. _Okay Randy_, he thought to himself. _Now that the whole mess with Junie is done and over with, this is the day. This is the day you try your second hand at winning back Sam. Just don't do anything stupid…_

He quickly spotted Sam sitting at a table with Stephanie, both women wearing tight white tennis outfits as they sipped at tall, frosty glasses of iced tea. Smirking to himself, the Legend Killer approached the table with the flowers in hand as he snuck up quietly behind Sam. He pressed a finger to his lips when Stephanie caught sight of him. The corners of her lips twitched ever so slightly at the sight of the roses he held, but other than that she displayed no signs of surprise as she continued to calmly talk to Sam, who for the most part remained oblivious to the world around her.

"So I was thinking of going to the dance club later," Sam went on, stirring her ice tea slowly with her straw. "You wanna go with me, Steph? I need to burn off some steam after that—that terrible thing Randy did last night!"

The Legend Killer froze mid step.

"What terrible thing was that, Sam?" Stephanie asked nonchalantly, although her eyes shined brightly in contrast. "Did you two get in an argument already? You guys haven't even hooked up for that long."

Sam sniffed loudly and turned her gaze downward. "I know…and I was hoping that it would have gone on longer than this, but all that ended the moment I caught him in the arms of another woman!"

Both Randy and Stephanie's jaws hit the last statement. In their minds ran one single thought: _E-excuse me? What the hell did she just say?_

"He…did…WHAT?" Stephanie shrieked, attracting the attention of every person within hearing distance. "H-he's _cheating_ on you?"

"NO!" Randy shouted, grabbing Sam by the shoulders and spinning in her seat so that she was facing him. "Damn it, woman! It's not like that at all!"

"Don't you try to deny it!" Sam yelled, roughly shoving the Legend Killer away from her as she abruptly stood up from her seat. "I wasn't born yesterday, you know! I saw that woman with you…a woman with a baby, no less! Who is she, Randy? Is she your girlfriend? Your _mistress_? WHO IS SHE?"

Now everyone in the area was staring at them, and Stephanie's eyes were so intense and focused that Randy could almost hear Hunter's mocking taunts at their next meeting. He knew that Stephanie would tell her ass of a husband everything she saw, and the list of cannon fodder for Hunter would only increase if he didn't shut Sam up soon…

_Oh god, how do I stop this?_

"Sam," Randy said quietly, trying to smile through gritted teeth, "can we please talk somewhere else? People are kinda staring at us."

"Let them stare! I don't really give a damn right now!"

"Baby, please! I got you these flowers!" Randy held the bouquet up desperately at Sam's face…only to feel hard tension in every muscle in his body when he saw her face contort in sheer horror.

"_Oh my god_!" she cried out, covering her nose as she backed as far away from the flowers as she could. "Randy, get those away from me! I'm allergic to ro—rose—achooo!"

"Shit!" Randy paled as he quickly withdrew the flowers, inadvertently triggering his own allergies in the process. "Sam, I'm so sorry! I didn't know!"

"BAH! Just get those away from…ACHOO!"

"I'm sor—sorr—ACHOO!"

"ACHOO!"

"ACHOO!"

"A—_ACHOOOOO_!" Sam's last sneeze was so powerful that she accidentally blew herself backwards, landing bottom first into a table full of things that a woman dressed in white would never want to see; chocolate cakes, chocolate puddings, and chocolate cream pies. "Oh no!" she screamed, staring at the dark brown stains in terror as she tried in vain to wipe them off. "My outfit! Do you know how hard it is to get chocolate out of clothing? ACHOO!"

"Goddamn it!" Holding back his own sneeze, Randy threw the flowers to the ground and took off the jacket portion of his suit, wrapping the gray fabric around Sam's shoulders as he tried to hide the worst of the chocolate stains. "Sam, are you okay?" Randy attempted to wipe some of the mess off of his girlfriend's face, but she slapped his hand aside in fury.

"UGH! Randy, just go away! I don't want to talk to you right now!"

"But Sam!"

"GO!"

"…"

Well, there was nothing he could do to change her mind…not now, anyway. Hanging his head in defeat, the Legend Killer sighed and turned towards the exit…

…and it was then he realized that the entire country club was quietly laughing and giggling and pointing in his direction.

_The jerks_, Randy thought angrily, clenching his fists hard against his side as he fought to keep his temper in check. _What the fuck's so funny about a guy and his girl fighting? Bunch of fucking asswipes is what they are…_

His thoughts froze when he suddenly heard Sam start to laugh as well.

_What the hell? SAM?_

"R-Randy…" Despite her messy state, Sam made her way towards him and reached around his back, tugging at the bit of shirt there as she continued to giggle like a half-hysterical schoolgirl. "Did someone burn your shirt?"

"Huh?" Okay. Now he was clueless. "What do you mean?"

"Your shirt! There's a huge black burn mark of an iron on the black! You mean you didn't notice?"

"…"

"…"

"…WHAAAAAAT?"

* * *

_Mommy told me that dating isn't really like marriage. Dating is supposedly the thing you do __**before**__ marriage, to make sure that the person you like isn't really a poopy poophead in disguise. Mommy says that she's lucky—she said she found her true love quickly, even though heaven had to take him away after only a little while._

_But my daddies are a completely different case! Mommy and I found these really old photographs in the closet, and do you know what these photos were of? Hmm? Do ya? _

_I'll tell you! I found pictures of the women my daddies used to date! They were all photos of my daddies' old girlfriends! I cannot believe how many women Daddy Randy and Daddy John have been with. It's sickening! They've probably had more girlfriends than I've changed diapers! And Daddy Jeff…really, Daddy Jeff? You were with a married woman? What's wrong with you?_

_I have looked at all of the pictures, and I have come to a startling revelation._

_My daddies are sluts._

_What? Don't look at me like that! I might be a little kid, but I know the meaning of the word "slut," okay? I may not be smart, but I sure as hell ain't dumb! And trust me when I say that my daddies are certified, one-hundred-percent whores!_

_Why would they go after other women? They have my mommy! Can't they all just share her and be happy, or something?_

* * *

_Okay, Junie old gal. You can do this._

Taking a deep breath to rid her stomach of its fluttering butterflies, June forced herself to look confident and happy as she made her way towards the hospital information desk. A young blonde girl was currently sitting there with a bored look on her face, blowing large pink bubbles from the gum she occasionally snapped between her teeth. June paused, before she found the will to smile at the inattentive girl.

"Um…excuse me?"

"Hmm?" The blonde looked up, her gum wavering in mid-blow. "Can I help you?"

"Well, Miss Kelly…Kelly," June replied, reading the nameplate on the desk with some hesitation, "I'm looking for the Research Task Force Department. Do you know where that might be?"

"The department of what now?" Kelly Kelly tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Sorry ma'am, but there's no department under that name."

"What?" June cried out, panicking slightly. "B-but Dr. Batista told me that—"

"OH! You want Batista?" Kelly Kelly then snorted (though why the blonde would do such a thing was something June couldn't quite fathom), and pointed the dark-haired woman towards a hallway on the ground floor. "Take a right on the first turn and go straight until you see a sign on a metal door with Dr. Batista's name on it. Look carefully, though…the sign's small and easy to miss."

"I see. Thank you." June hurriedly went into the hallway, barely hearing Kelly Kelly utter, "Good luck to you, ma'am…you'll need it," in a low voice.

Good luck? For what? Why would the girl say such a thing, anyway?

Turning at the corner, June stopped her frantic walking when a small, white slip of paper on a gray metal door caught her eye. She blinked—on the paper were several small, pathetically scrawled out words that read, _Research Task Force, Drs. Dave Batista and Rey Mysterio._

_No way_, she thought to herself. _This can't be it…can it?_

But when she looked around, there were no other doors in the vicinity with signs on them, no other indication that a Research Task Force existed in the area.

_Wow. I guess this is the place, then._

The butterflies returned to her stomach with a vengeance, their fluttering increasing by a hundredfold as she placed her hand on the doorknob and slowly turned the handle. She tried to tell herself that she wasn't nervous. She was brave and independent and—

—her mouth dried when she saw Dave Batista standing in the middle of the room with his back to her, surprisingly dressed in a black shirt that showed off all of the finer aspects of his larger-than-average muscles, as well as faded jeans that hung perfectly on his hips. He was speaking quietly into his cellphone, completely unaware of the fact that June was in the room.

Not that she was in any state to care, however. She was literally in "Panic and Self-Hatred Due To Attraction To Men Other Than Todd Mode" at the moment.

_Oh my god, look at him! How can any man be this handsome? He can even make casual clothes look tempting! Only Todd was ever able to do that to me…god, what is Dr. Batista anyway, sex on legs? Sin-And-Lust incarnate? It's not fair!  
_

"Todd…" June shut her eyes tightly and forced herself to remember her most cherished memories of her late husband. Their first time playing in the sandbox. The first time he picked a wildflower for her. The first time they made sweet, sweet love in her bedroom—okay, that wasn't working…

"Mrs. Grisham?"

"EEK!" June squeaked in fright and whirled around, only to find herself staring deep into the worried brown eyes of Dave Batista. Immediately she felt the blood rush to her cheeks and she looked away, pushing her unwanted feelings of attraction to the side as she harshly reminded herself that, dead or alive, she had to stay loyal to Todd. Finally, she caught a grip on her emotions and looked back up at the Animal with a cheery grin, her eyes bright and her cheeks back to their normal hue. "Hello, Dr. Batista! I'm here, just like I promised!"

Although he had worried about her initial (and clearly obvious) discomfort when he saw her in the room, Dave found himself smiling at her sudden upbeat in attitude…and the pretty outfit she was wearing. _Hell, anything beats this hospital's flimsy hospital gown_…"I'm glad you're here, Mrs. Grisham. Actually—" Dave turned to a nearby clock "—you're a bit early. Twenty minutes early, to be exact."

"Oh!" June blushed again and lowered her gaze, twiddling her thumbs nervously. "Well you see, sir, I didn't want to be late, so I left my home three hours early."

Dave blinked. "Three hours? But you don't live that far away from here…"

"I asked my friend Lita to give me a ride," June explained. "But due to some…err…events that had gone on in my life lately, I knew she would want to talk with me for a long, long time. Hence the three hour head start."

"Wow." Dave cocked his head to the side in interest. "What did you do that made her want to talk to you for three whole hours?"

"Well…"

Actually, there hadn't been any _talking_ involved whatsoever, at least not on June's part. Lita was the only one who had spoken throughout the entire conversation…and for the most part, the only thing the redhead had done was _yell _at her for three hours.

"How could you be so goddamn stupid?" Lita had yelled, grabbing June by the shoulders and shaking the poor young mother with all of her might. "Do you know how fucking worried I've been? I almost fucking killed an entire crowd of people trying to find you!"

"M-miss Lita…"

"Don't you fucking talk back to me! I am fucking speaking at the moment, and you will fucking listen to every word that comes out of my fucking mouth! Now, tell me what the hell you were thinking when you fucking ran off like that! TELL ME, GODDAMN IT!"

June had never heard so much profanity from a single person in her life, and had Matt not been there to stop Lita from throttling her, the dark-haired woman didn't think she would have escaped from the redhead's clutches unscathed. (Although _why_ was Matt in Lita's apartment in the first place, June had yet to figure out…)

Not that Dave needed to know about any of that, though.

"It's absolutely nothing to worry about," June replied, waving a hand in the air in dismissal as she laughed nervously. "Anyway, the problem's all fixed now, and I'm finally here. So, Dr Batista…what should I do? What's this Research Task Force about, anyway? And…um…" The young mother looked around the empty conference room curiously. "Where's everyone else?"

The Animal smiled sheepishly and made a grand, sweeping hand gesture towards himself and June. "This is it, Mrs. Grisham. It's just you, me, and Dr. Rey Mysterio…if he ever gets back with our lunch."

"EH?" June's mouth fell open in shock, her large brown eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. "You mean it's just the three of us? What kind of team is that?"

"It's a task force team," Dave replied, his grin still glued to his face. "Those types of teams are normally this small."

"Really? But still…" June pursed her lips into a pout. "What are we researching, exactly? You haven't told me all of the details over the phone, Dr. Batista."

Dave sighed, and ran a hand over his recently shaven head. "On the record, we are supposed to be researching new methods of physical rehabilitation that can benefit the crippled, handicapped, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But off the record…it's a way to hide the fact that the boss had demoted me and Rey."

"D-demoted?" June gasped. "B-but why? You're a wonderful doctor! I gave you and Dr. Mysterio ten stars on the survey they made me take before I left the hospital! What could you possibly have done to deserve a demotion?"

"It's hard to explain…"

"Got that right." A deep, chuckling voice from the doorway caused both Dave and June to look up, and their eyes fell upon a tall, burly looking man who had long, dark blond hair that was almost brown, unshaven cheeks, and a smile that seemed too big for his face. "Hey Dave," the man greeted casually, strolling into the conference room and slapping the Animal hard on the back. "I see you've made a new friend! Be a pal and introduce me to her, will ya?"

"Go away, Hunter," Dave snapped, none too pleased at having his meeting interrupted. "We're _busy_."

"And I can see that!" Hunter said cheerfully, his eyes taking in the empty conference table and the lacking signs of any ongoing work. "But Davey my boy—"

"Don't call me boy. I'm the same age as you, goddamn it."

"—I happen to be bored," Hunter went on, completely ignoring the increasingly agitated Dave, "and Edge and Vickie aren't exactly providing the entertainment I was hoping they'd provide. In fact, the mere sight of those two making kissy kissy faces at one another sickens me."

"Hospital clinic's down the hall," Dave said cuttingly, taking June's hand and pulling her closer to him (an action that made her blush like mad) when Hunter began to turn his attention towards the dark-haired woman. "If you feel queasy, Colin Delaney's on duty right now and he can give you as much aspirin as you want."

"But Daaaaaaaave! I wanna meet your new friend!" Ignoring the glares that the Animal sent in his direction, Hunter turned to June and gave her a wink. "The name's Paul, but if you ever call me that I will have to hurt you. I prefer for you to call me Hunter."

"Oooookay…" June laughed nervously and extended her hand out in a friendly gesture, which the older man took with a smile. "I-I'm June Grisham. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hunter."

"Damn right it is." Hunter squeezed her hand tightly, before he let go and gave Dave a mischievous grin. "So, is she the one Mysterio told me you were acting like an idiot over? She's a cutie, she is. Well, not as cute as Steph, but still…"

"Huh?" June blinked in confusion as Dave promptly proceeded to pale at Hunter's words. "What are you talking about, sir?"

"Oh, you don't know?" Hunter exclaimed innocently, pretending not to see the Animal make frantic motions for the Cerebral Assassin to shut up. "Well, I hope Dave isn't going to be slow about it. You seem like a nice girl."

"T-thank you?" The dark-haired woman gave Hunter an uneasy smile before turning to Dave, who looked as if he had been run over by a train. "Um, Dr. Batista? Are you alright?"

"…"

"Dr. Batista?"

Hunter snorted. "_Dr. Batista? _Are you two still on formalities? You're not even on a first-name basis yet? In that case, this is gonna take a _long _time…"

"AGH!" Dave, who suddenly seemed to snap out of his trance, roared in fury and began to shove the Cerebral Assassin towards the door. "Damn it! I don't care if we are college buddies—just go away, Hunter! Bother someone else! Hell, do me a favor and annoy the hell out of Edge!"

"But Daaaaaave!" Hunter whined. "I told you, I'm bored—"

_Slam!_

Dave slammed the door in Hunter's face, running a hand over his own in frustration as June stood timidly in the background. _Oh god_, he thought. _What must she think of me now?_

"Err…" June coughed quietly, averting her eyes to the floor as the corners of her lips twitched upwards. "I…I take it that Mr. Hunter's not exactly a friend of yours, sir?"

"Ugh." Dave made a face in disgust. "_Friend_ would be the pat answer. I knew him when we both went to college together, but we were in different majors. He was the business fiend, and I was the struggling young medical student trying to earn his degree through internships at rehabilitation clinics and fitness centers."

"But he seems to really like you," June commented, remembering Hunter's large, cocky smile that perversely seemed to lighten the atmosphere. "He just seems like a friendly guy…"

"Don't get suckered in by him and his so-called charm," Dave warned, taking June by the hand and sitting her down in a nearby chair. "He's called the Cerebral Assassin for a reason, you know. He owns one of the biggest business companies in the world, and not even _my _boss has the guts to take him down."

"Ah." June bit her lip, before she gave Dave a grin. "Well then, I guess I'm lucky that I have you to guide me along. I'll be depending on you when we start working together on the Research Task Force team, Dr. Batista."

"What?" Dave's eyes widened, his lips curling upwards in pleasant surprise. "Does that—does that mean you're taking the job?"

"I wouldn't have come here if I wasn't going to," June protested playfully, laughing as she looked up at the handsome doctor with a shy smile. "I forced myself to listen to Miss Lita's scolding for several hours because I wanted to come see you…"

With those words, Dave felt a rush of heat seep into his cheeks. "Oh." He scratched the back of his head, once again smiling sheepishly at the dark-haired woman. "In that case…"

Suddenly, the door to the room opened and a small, Hispanic doctor came rushing through, his vision obscured by the several large bags of hot Mexican food in his arms. "Hey homes!" he yelled to Dave, struggling not to collapse or burn his arms as he tried futilely to find the table. "You wanna come and give me a hand here? I mean, it's not like the oil is starting to burn into my skin or anything, but it's really starting to get _annoying_..."

"I'll help!" June said quickly, rushing over to Rey and taking several bags out of his arms. The small doctor blinked at her for a moment, before his eyes widened from behind his surgical mask.

"Oy! Senora, when did you get here? You're early!"

"Well," June replied coyly, "I would love to tell you, but I already told the story to Dr. Batista. By the way, what's with all the food?"

"Don't you know, Senora? It's for you! Dave here told me to get all the best stuff…and besides, I bought a little extra for myself as a pick me up. Getting demoted sucks, you know."

"OH YEAH! What happened, Dr. Mysterio? Why were you and Dr. Batista demoted?"

"Um, Rey?" Dave said quickly, grabbing his own bag of food as he tried desperately to change the conversation. "Did you get drinks?"

"It's in the second bag, man," Rey replied carelessly, as he continued to focus on the ever captivated June. "But seriously, Senora? Dave shouldn't even have been demoted. It's all that bastard Edge's fault."

"Edge? Who's Edge?" June asked curiously. "Dave mentioned someone named Edge to Mr. Hunter a while back."

"You don't have to know, Senora. Trust me, it's better to NOT know. Dave was only trying to protect me, and that Canadian bastard somehow twists everything to make it sound like the big man was the bad guy! I tell you…" Rey sighed, and took a large bite of rice from his lunch. "It's just not fair when Vickie's head is all messed up. She used to be so cool too…"

"Oh my…" June stared at Dave mournfully, noting with sadness that Dave was trying his best to melt into the corner of the room with his lunch. Sighing, she went over to the large doctor and took him by the hand, wordlessly pulling the quietly protesting man over to the table as she sat him down on a chair, taking her own seat between him and Rey. "You should have told me," she said consolingly, keeping a tight hold on his hand.

Dave blushed and lowered his gaze. "It didn't seem important," he muttered.

"If he hurt you, then it's important to me!" June cried indignantly. "You have to tell me all about this Edge guy. If I see him, I'll—I'll—I'll put laxitives in his ice-cream the next time I see him!"

"Mrs. Grisham…" Dave stared at the young mother before him, touched that she would say such a thing, childish as it was.

"I mean it, sir! You were only trying to help Dr. Mystrerio, and that mean man does _this _to you! Ooooh, he's just a—a coward!"

"You tell him, Senora!" Rey cheered, gulping down his soda as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. "That's what I wanted to hear! Dave, you _have _to hire her! We need more Edge haters, man!"

"Be quiet, Rey," the Animal said sternly, although a faint trace of a smirk could be seen on his face. "Don't encourage her…"

As they ate and talked and discussed when she would start working with them as a member of the Research Task Force, it was duly noted by Rey that Dave didn't let go of June's hand even once throughout the entire luncheon.

* * *

**Poll Results:**

**John – He's ahead with 11 votes.**

**Randy – He's in second with 9 votes.**

**Jeff – He's in third with 6 votes.**

**Dave – He's in fourth with 2 votes. Ack.**

**Just to let you guys know…please don't take the polls too seriously. It's there for fun (and so that I know where a character stands with you guys).  
**

**Read and review.**


	19. Cucumbers, Daycares, and Burned Shirts

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Hospitals suck. They don't allow patients to have laptops, even when extremely bored.

**Nineteen: Cucumbers, Daycares, and Burned Shirts  
**

_You know what's weird? What's weird is when you mean a lot more to somebody else than they ever meant to you. I mean, a whole lot more. Like, "life on two whole different planets" type of more._

_Daddy Jeff has been on the wrong end of a situation like that. During his freshman year in high school, he used to be head over heels in love with this girl named Beth. Mommy told me that Daddy Jeff had been struck with something called puppy-love, because he was acting all weird when he liked this Beth person. He used to lie in bed at night saying her name to himself, over and over in his head. _

_Uncle Matt said that Daddy Jeff even had this pencil in his drawer that she dropped in the hall._

_Creeeeeeeeepy._

_I won't lie—that scared the poop out of me. I mean, Daddy Jeff had a freaking SHRINE dedicated to this Beth person! He cut pictures of her out of the yearbook and put them in frames. The sad thing is, mommy told me that she knew that Beth didn't really love him all that much…but mommy didn't tell him that because she didn't want to hurt Daddy Jeff's feelings._

"_He had tunnel vision at the time," mommy explained. "He wouldn't have listened to me, even if I yelled it into his eardrums."_

_I just can't believe that he wanted to spend his whole life with Beth…until he caught her kissing some guy from next door. Then he was pissed. He broke up with Beth on the spot, told her that he never wanted to see her again…and then went straight to mommy cried and cried and cried on her lap until he finally calmed down._

_I wonder if he still thinks about her? Beth, I mean. In the collection of old girlfriend photos that my daddies have, Beth's picture is still in there, even though the frame is cracked and the picture is collecting dust. I wonder what she would think if she actually knew the level of dedication Daddy Jeff once had for her? Would she regret what she did to him?_

_Boy, grown-ups are stupid sometimes. It's a good thing my mommy and daddies aren't like that anymore._

* * *

John strolled into the apartment with a smile, whistling a cheery tune to himself as he held the bag of fruit and cucumbers against his side. "Junie! Jamie! I'm back!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Cena, you fucking idiot!" Jeff screamed, bursting out of Jamie's room in a fine rage as the small infant wailed and shrieked in his arms. "Can't you come in quietly like a normal person? I just got Jamie to take a nap twenty minutes ago!"

_Yeah, Daddy John! _Tired and frustrated, Jamie shook her tiny fists at the young detective in vexation. _I was having such a good dream, too! I dreamt that the entire world was made of cake and ice cream! Cake and ice cream! Where's my world of cake and ice cream now, Daddy John? Give it back to me!_

"I'm sorry, Jamie," John said meekly, taking the agitated baby from Jeff's arms as he gave her an apologetic hug. "I thought you would still be awake. Can you forgive daddy for waking you up, baby girl? You know it was an accident, don't you?" John made a pouty face at Jamie and, despite her earlier frustration, the little baby found her anger slowly dissipating.

_Agh! Daddy John, you're cheating! How am I supposed to stay mad at you if you make those funny faces at me? It's not fair!_

…

_Oh, who am I kidding? I love you anyway, even without cake and ice cream!_

"There we go!" John said cheerfully the minute Jamie began to perk up. He laughed when Jamie tried to reach for his nose, cooing happily as she did. "See Jeff? See how Jamie obviously loves me more than you? I told you she was mine."

"Screw you," Jeff snapped, plopping onto a nearby sofa in exhaustion. "I'm the only one who spends any time taking care of Jamie besides Junie, so shut your fat mouth! See this shirt?" The rainbow-haired artist pointed at his white tank top, which was covered with large, yellowing saliva stains. "I've been covered in drool all day! Jamie's like a freaking spit factory, man! This is my badge of courage right here, and I don't care what the hell you say about it!"

"…okay." The young detective had to fight the urge to snort. He knew better than to argue when Jeff was in a bad mood because although Jeff was normally the calmest of the three men, if he ever got _mad_…well, not even Randy had the balls to _intentionally_ mess with the younger Hardy brother. "Aight, Hardy," John replied calmly. "You earned your break, okay? I'll take Jamie off your hands for the rest of the day."

"Damn right, you will!" Jeff said fiercely, before his eyes fell on the bag of cucumbers and fruit that was still dangling from John's hand. "Um…what's with the produce, Cena? I thought you hated cucumbers."

"I do…but they're not for me. They're for Junie." John sat down on the sofa, plopping Jamie on his lap as he tossed the bag onto the coffee table. "She's been looking really pale and off color lately, so I thought a cucumber facial would help her. By the way…" John looked around the apartment curiously, his blue eyes trying and failing to find any traces of a certain dark-haired woman. "Where's Junie? Is she in her room?"

Jeff shook his head as he turned and walked back towards his room, lifting his ruined tank top over his head as he threw it into a nearby hamper. "Nah, she went out a couple of hours ago. Said she wanted to meet with an old friend."

"Old friend?" John arched his brow curiously. "You mean she went to see Lita?"

"I guess. I mean, who else could it be? It ain't like she's out on a date or nothing."

* * *

"Dr. Batista, I don't know about this…"

"Come on, Mrs. Grisham. We've been over this, and I'm telling you that everything's going to be alright—"

"But it doesn't _feel_ right! It's just so—so BIG!"

"And what's wrong with it being big?"

"Well, bigger isn't always better, sir! I want quality over quantity!"

Despite himself, Dave found himself grinning at the young mother's pouting face as she surveyed the large, spacious room that served as the main area of Golden Apple Daycare. Since it was five in the afternoon, mothers and fathers were already arriving to pick up their children. However, June was surprised at how many babies were still left unaccounted for and it broke her heart to see some of the toddlers becoming upset and scared as they waited for their parents.

They were probably afraid that their parents weren't coming for them. They were probably terrified of the thought of their mothers and fathers abandoning them. June had been in that situation enough times when she had been their age, and it took all of her strength not to cry when a toddler of no more than four years of age ran over to her and Dave and hugged their legs, peeking up at them with an angelic smile on his little face.

"Hewwo," he said sweetly.

And here, June completely melted. She had never heard a cuter voice in her life. Apparently Dave didn't either, because the grin on his face widened just a little bit more. "Hello," the Animal replied, his own voice going strangely and uncharacteristically sugary. "What's your name?"

"Jo-wee," the boy said shortly, still latching onto both of their legs. "Do you have any chocolate?"

"I'm sorry, but we don't have any, sweetheart." June bent down and brushed some of the boy's brown hair away from his face. "Maybe you should go and wait with your teacher, hmm? Your mommy will be here any minute."

"Joey!" A young woman quickly dashed towards the little boy and scooped him into her arms. "Joey! How many times do I have to tell you not to run off? I told you to stay close to your teacher until I pick you up!"

"Aww, mommy…"

"Hush!" The woman then turned to June and Dave with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. He's at that stage when all he wants to do is grab and touch everything and everyone he sees."

"Not a problem," Dave commented. "All kids are like that. Just make sure that your boy doesn't do that on the streets, though."

"Of course he won't!" the woman cried indignantly. With a huff, she spun on her heel and walked out of the daycare, dragging the little boy behind her as the child frowned and tried to catch one last glimpse of June and Dave before he disappeared behind the doors.

"Oh dear," June murmured, staring after the child in pity. "She was overreacting a bit, don't you think? I hope I don't become like that with Jamie."

"Hope is a strong word, Mrs. Grisham," Dave replied, leading the dark-haired woman outside the building as he led her to his car. "My first ex said the exact same thing about our little girls…and then she became a banshee by the end of the third month."

June's eyes widened. "Really?"

"I kid you not. But then again—" the Animal paused as he scrunched his forehead in thought "—I remember when my kids used to go through the 'I Must Touch Everything' stage. Trust me when I say that my daughters grabbed everything in excess when they were little. They used to walk right up to my patients and hug them for no reason at all. I had to chase them all over the hospital to get them under control…"

June giggled, imagining the large doctor fumbling over his feet as he tried to catch his two precious little daughters. "Well, knowing what a firecracker my Jamie is, she'll most likely be ten times worse. She'll probably run me ragged until I drop dead of exhaustion."

"I'll never let that happen to you," Dave declared loudly, earning him a shy smile from June. "As a doctor, it's my duty to make sure that the people I care for don't run their health into the ground."

The young mother smiled. She figured he would say something like that, something that made her feel calm and safe and secure inside. And as she and the large doctor got into his car and drove off towards her apartment, she couldn't help but think that he was just too good to be true.

_He got me a job, he and Rey brought me lunch, and he even helped me pick out a daycare center for Jamie. In a way, it's almost what I expected Todd to do if he was still here. _The young mother then shut her eyes. _Dr. Batista's such a good man. He deserves so much more than what this Edge fellow is doing to him and Dr. Mysterio…_

"Looks like it's going to rain," Dave mumbled quietly.

"Really? But I don't have an umbrella!" Worry seizing her heart, June turned her brown eyes quickly towards the clear and _cloudless_ sunset skies, almost shrieking when she realized that she had been tricked. "HEY! You liar!"

"Ha!" She received a smirk from the Animal sitting beside her. "Made you look."

"Dr. Batista! Honestly…" She tried to glare at him in irritation, but the wolfish grin he sent in her direction made her waver in her anger and the two of them were laughing before long (although she did swat playfully at his arm in an attempt to save face).

"I couldn't help it," Dave protested innocently, making a sharp right turn as he tried to remember which of the towering apartments the dark-haired woman lived in. "You looked so damn serious. Besides, your face is more suited for a smile."

June couldn't but grow a little warm at that, and the corners of her lips twitched upward as she averted her gaze towards the passenger side windows. "You flatterer," she mumbled quietly. "You don't have to say things like that. At any rate, I was thinking about what you told me about this Edge person, and—"

"Don't." Dave turned to her with a warning look in his eyes. "Don't even think about it, Mrs. Grisham. Trust me when I say it's better to just stay out of that bastard's way for the time being. You don't even want to _know _who he is, let alone tangle with him."

"I-it's not that…" June bit her lip, before she blushed and looked up at the large doctor sheepishly. "I was just thinking about how unfair he's been to you. I mean, he's not even the head of the hospital and yet he's manipulating the woman who is! Can't someone go up to her and make her see sense?"

Dave snorted. "I doubt it, Mrs. Grisham. If Vickie had the capability of seeing what a snake Edge really is, well…the wool would have been pulled away from her eyes a long time ago."

"I see…"

As Dave parked his car in front of her apartment, he turned and gave the young mother a small, sad smile. "Don't worry too much about it. As long as you, me, and Rey stick together, I doubt Edge can do anything too terrible to us."

"I understand. Thank you for the ride home, Dr. Batista, and have a good night."

"You too, Mrs. Grisham."

* * *

John patted the cucumber slices on his cheeks and forehead, before turning to Jamie and carefully placing cucumber slices on her chubby cheeks and forehead as well.

"Gah?" Jamie blinked as her small hands reached up for the cold cucumbers on her face, wondering what the strange, cold new objects were. _Daddy John, what's this? It's all cold and wet and it makes my face feel tingly…in a good way!_

"You are just too cute, you know that?" John said with a grin, ruffling the downy fine hair on Jamie's head as he picked the baby up and carried her over to the full-length mirror. Jamie squealed with glee as she caught sight of her own reflection for the very first time, wondering who the other baby in the glass was. "Look at you, baby girl! Man, I just can't imagine who you take after…"

The young detective then stopped. His expression slowly becoming serious, John held the tiny infant higher until they were almost at each other's eye level. Turning Jamie so that they were both facing the mirror, he stared hard at her curious, cucumber-covered facial features, before silently comparing them to his own.

_Um, Daddy John? What'cha doing? I'm getting kind of hungry, so can you put me down and feed me some of mommy's milky-milk?_

"The nose," John murmured, his blue eyes widening as they switched back and forth from Jamie's face to his own. "The mouth…the ears…they're all the same!"

_Huh? _The small baby blinked curiously at the young detective. _What are you talking about, lunkhead?_

"She has all of my facial features," John went on, hugging Jamie closer to his body as a spark of hope lit up from within his chest. "She has everything, including my cuteness and irresistible attractive charms! Oh boy…" He looked down at Jamie, who in turn stared up at her possible father with wide, innocent eyes. "Jamie?"

_Yes, Daddy John?_

"You're mine…right?"

_Sure! I'm your daughter, and Daddy Randy's daughter, and Daddy Jeff's daughter! Duh! Have you just figured that out NOW? Where have you been all this time?_

"John?"

"GAH!" John shriek in fright and spun around quickly, meeting the surprised gaze of June as the young mother peered up at him curiously. "J-Junie! When did you get home?"

"Um…about two seconds ago, I guess," June replied slowly, before giving the young detective a worried stare. "Are you okay, though? You seem a bit pale…and what's that on your face? And Jamie's?"

"I—that is—I—um—I'm gonna go feed Jamie now! I think she's hungry for some strained peas! Who wants strained peas, eh? I bet you do!"

_Huh?_ Jamie's little jaw dropped in sheer disbelief. _No I don't! I hate strained peas! I want milky-milk! And none of that icky formula stuff either, Daddy John! I want good, wholesome milky-milk! And maybe a little mushy banana on the side…ooh, and peaches! Gotta have my peaches…and apples! I like me some apples!_

"You don't have to do that, John," June protested softly. "I can feed Jamie—you don't have to burden yourself like this."

"It's not a burden at all!" John insisted, taking Jamie straight to the kitchen and holding the squirming infant securely in his arms as he raided the fridge for a bottle. "I love Jamie because she's my daug—I mean, I love Jamie _as if_ she was my daughter! I love doing these things because I love both you and her, Junie! Ahahaha…"

The young detective's voice was filled to the brim with nervousness, but if June didn't show any indication that she heard. Instead, she smiled and began to take out several pots and pans, setting them on the stove as she took out some vegetables from the pantry. "Well, love, if you insist. I'll just start dinner for the four of us. But John?"

"Yes, Junie?"

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Of course. Why do you ask?"

"Because you're trying to feed the baby through her nose."

"Huh?" John immediately looked down and reddened when he indeed saw the rubber nipple of the milk bottle pressing hard against a now agitated Jamie's left nostril. "Oops…"

Suddenly the front door slammed, and an extremely furious Randy stomped inside, his face livid as he looked around the apartment wildly. "Where is she?" he hissed, pushing past Jeff who was just stepping out of his room with a new tank top on. "Goddamn it, where's JUNIE?"

"W-what's the matter?" June said nervously, wondering what she possibly could have done to upset the Legend Killer this time. However, all of the blood drained from her face as Randy took his jacket off and revealed a very ugly, very obvious looking burn mark on the back of his white silk shirt.

For a moment, there was absolute silence, broken only by the noise of Jamie suckling hungrily from her bottle.

Then…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" John and Jeff broke out in hysterical laugher as John leaned against the wall, trying to maintain his hold on Jamie through his howling while the rainbow-haired artist clutched at his sides to prevent them from splitting. "Oh my fucking god," John choked out, wiping away a tear as he looked at the ruined shirt in glee. "What the hell happened, Orton? Did you forget to tip your dry cleaning lady again?"

"Shut up, Cena!" Randy screamed, making a mental note to thrash John later as he turned his attention to the trembling dark-haired woman in front of him. "Can you explain what the hell happened here, Junie? Why the fuck is this black _shit_ on my shirt?"

"Um…" June gulped nervously, her hands shaking as she tried and failed to evenly chop the vegetables. "I—I might have had a little accident…"

"LITTLE?" Randy roared, sending June cowering back a good ten feet from him. "You call this _little_? I was fucking humiliated in front of my acquaintances because of you!"

June flinched at the Legend Killer's use of profanity, but she kept silent. Now was not the time to nitpick, after all. "I-I'm sorry, Randy…it was an accident…"

"Hey, leave her alone, man!" Jeff piped up, his laughter finally dying down as he joined the others in the kitchen. "It's just a shirt! Buy another one!"

"Buy another one?" Randy stared at Jeff in sheer disbelief. "Did I hear you right, Hardy? Did you just tell me to _buy_ another one? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THIS SHIRT COST? THIS IS PURE _SILK_, AND IT'S NOT EXACTLY CHEAP!"

"Stop shouting!" John snapped, rocking Jamie in his arms as the small baby began to wail from all of the noise. "You're scaring Jamie, you dumbass!"

"Cena, keep quiet for two minutes of your life will you? And Junie—" Randy turned his icy glare towards June, who was now praying for a miracle to save her "—if something like this happened, you should have fucking told me! How could you just leave one of my shirts like this? I have a goddamn reputation to keep up, damn it!"

"Randy, please calm down!" June pleaded, desperately trying to quell the young man's anger. "I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

"Oh really?" Randy sneered, the scowl on his face deepening. "And how do you propose to do that?"

"Um…" June dropped the chopping knife and reached for her wallet, taking out the small mound of leather as she quickly pulled out every single bill she had left. "W-will this cover it?"

"…"

"…"

"For the record, Orton," John said quietly, "you will officially be an asshole if you take that money."

"I second that," Jeff replied, raising his hand meekly from his position by the kitchen counter.

A small twitching went off in Randy's left eye at this remark, but he held his anger in. Or rather, he _tried_ to hold it in. "Junie," he said slowly, biting back the snarl that threatened to come out, "I don't want your money. When the hell did I say that I wanted your money?"

"Just take it, Randy!" June said stubbornly, taking the Legend Killer's hand and stuffing the money into his fist. "Besides, I'll soon start contributing to this household financially anyway!"

"…"

"…"

"…what?"

The shocked look on the men's faces, especially Randy's, made a sudden wave of courage wash over her heart. Finding the courage to grin, June said in what she hoped was a cheerful voice, "I guess I should just say it now, then! I got a job!"

Silence. Then, a simultaneous and very loud, "WHAT?" exploded from the three men before her.

"I-I said I got a job." Well. That reaction wasn't exactly what she had hoped for. She felt her wave of courage evaporate just as quickly as it had appeared. "You remember the hospital where I had Jamie? Guerrero Hospital?"

The three men exchanged glances, before the each nodded slowly.

"Well, I applied for a job there and I went to an interview earlier today."

"So _that's_ why you had to leave?" Jeff replied, his jaw hanging open in astonishment. "I thought you said you were going to a friend's place!"

"I did," June replied quietly. "I, err, _talked_ with Lita for a few hours before going to the hospital. By the way, Jeff…" June pulled out a note that had Matt's messy handwriting scribbled all over it. "Your brother was at Lita's house."

"Again?"

"Yes, Jeff, _again…_anyway, he told me to tell you that Trish has been calling him nonstop for a week, asking for you since you won't return her calls." June looked up in confusion. "What's that about anyway?"

"It's nothing," the rainbow-haired artist said quickly. "But how about telling us something about this new job of yours, girl? Where in the hospital are ya gonna work?"

And here, the dark-haired woman felt a secret smile tug at the corners of her lips. "I'm going to be working in the Research Task Force team. It's a new department, but they hired me right away!" _Mostly because there was practically no one else there_, June added privately, though she didn't dare say that out loud.

"Well, that sounds important," Jeff commented, flashing June a smile as she giggled and flushed in embarrassment. "It sounds way better than your old job at that private doctor's place."

"Research Task Force…?" John blinked. "I heard of task forces for police forces, but one for a hospital? That's kinda strange…"

Randy snorted. "Everything's strange to you, Cena. But by definition, a task force is a temporary unit established to work on a single defined task or activity. If the hospital's working on some new medicine or something, then there's nothing unusual about them setting up a research team. But…" The Legend Killer shot her a suspicious glance. "How'd you get a job like that? I didn't think you had the credentials for such a position."

…what?

WHAT?

Was he implying that she wasn't smart enough to get a good job on her own?

"How _dare_ you?" June cried out, her hands planted firmly on her hips as she stared down the Legend Killer with an uncharacteristically angry look. "For your information, Randy, I have _plenty _of credentials! You just don't know about them, that's all, so don't go around making assumptions!"

With that, the young mother turned back to the sizzling chicken cutlets with a huff, completely ignoring the stunned and surprised look on Randy's face.

_That'll teach him_, she thought proudly to herself. _Credentials? Ha! I'd like to take his credentials and—and—and stick it where the sun doesn't shine!_

"You tell him, Junie!" John cheered, waving one of Jamie's tiny hands in the air in mock celebration even when Randy shot a hateful glare in his direction. "It's about time you put that jerk in his place!"

"Ha! Thank you, John."

"No problem. But just out of curiosity…Who are you working with, anyway?"

"Hmm?" June froze. This was the question she had been dreading. She knew that Randy, Jeff, and John still held a sort of resentment towards Dr. Batista, though _why_ they hated him she had yet to figure out. _Take the low road, June…it's safer this time. _"I-I'm working with Dr. Mysterio! He's that wonderful Hispanic doctor who was with me during my labor period!"

John thought for a moment, juggling a still suckling Jamie in his arms before he snapped his fingers in recognition. "AH! You mean that shrimp who kept asking us if we were the father of Jamie?"

"Err…yeah." June made a face; that had to be the worst mistake ever made in mankind. Jamie didn't look a thing like Randy, Jeff, and John anyway… "He's one of the Task Force members. He's really nice, you know? He showed me pictures of his wife and kids, and they looked so sweet."

"Oh." At the mention of Dr. Mysterio's marriage status, the three men suddenly seemed to mellow out, something that confused June to no end.

_Honestly, what's wrong with them? Bah, men! I'll never figure them out._

"So when do you start, Junie?" Jeff asked, walking over to the cooking vegetables and stirring the pot with a wooden spoon to prevent the carrots from burning. "When do they want you to start putting your scrubs back on?"

"Oh…" June thought for a moment, before she took the pan off the stove and began to plate the perfectly cooked chicken cutlets. "They want me to start tomorrow…"

"TOMORROW?" John almost dropped Jamie in his shock, which earned him a displeased shriek from the baby in his arms. "B-but Junie! If you're going to be at the hospital, then who's gonna look after the baby? I have to be at the precinct all day."

"And I have my business empire to look after," Randy added sullenly.

"I can't be here," Jeff warned nervously. "After what you told me about Trish, I _have_ to go see her tomorrow."

"I know," June replied calmly, now pouring the vegetables onto the serving plate. "That's why I checked out some daycare centers before coming home. I heard Golden Apple Daycare was the biggest place, but I went with Crystal Orange Baby Heaven instead. They have a better reputation, and the kids actually seem happy there."

"A daycare?" John looked as if he was going to faint. "You can't leave Jamie in a daycare, Junie! It's like…abandoning the child!"

June sighed, and set the serving plates onto the dining table. "Don't' be so dramatic, John! Lots of working mothers use daycares! Besides, I'm only working from nine to five, so I'll be able to pick Jamie up, make dinner for all of us, and get some cleaning done all at the same time! I thought long and hard about this, you know…"

John was about to protest, but he stopped when he saw the determined look on June's face. Hanging his head, he sighed and said in defeat, "I guess you're right. But can we at least come with you tomorrow morning and check the place out? You know, just to see where the location is in case we want to pick up Jamie for you?"

"You don't have to."

"Yeah," Randy agreed, not liking the idea of having to set foot into a daycare. "I don't think we _all_ have to go…"

"Actually we should," Jeff said suddenly, elbowing Randy hard in the ribs when June wasn't looking. "We love Jamie just as much as you do, Junie, and we have a right to see where our princess is gonna be spending her mornings and afternoons.

"Well…" The young mother hesitated only for a moment, before she smiled. "I guess it can't hurt. But you're all just worrying for nothing."

Jeff and John laughed nervously, while Randy merely snorted and turned his gaze to the side.

_It better be for nothing,_ the three men thought simultaneously. But their individual meanings behind that thought were completely different, even though the words were the same.

* * *

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	20. John and Jamie, Ace Detectives

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: You know that feeling where you're simply not loving a story as much as you used to because even though you know what you want to write, you just can't seem to type it down? This is how I feel. And due to the fact that I am also working on another fic unrelated to wrestling, I have to divide my time between stories.

Jamie's intro was inspired by Dane Cook.

**Twenty: John and Jamie, Ace Detectives Extraordinaire**

_When I was a kid, my mommy gave me a code word. _

_She would say, "Sweetie, if someone tells you that mommy is in trouble and they ask you to come with them, always ask for the code word. If they don't have the code, do not go with them! No code, no go!" _

_And she even made up this little song too with Daddy John. They rapped it together, I think. But it was super lame! Wanna know how it sounded like? Well, it went something like, "No code, no go! It's the one thing that they've always gotta know! No coooooode no go-o-o-o-o!" _

_Urk. Rap. Me no like Retarded-Ass-Poetry._

_Anyway…_

_Did any of you have a code word? Well, Daddy John's code for me was "Apple Bottom."_

_APPLE. BOTTOM. God forbid something should happen to my mommy and daddies! I mean, some guy would have to look for me and say, "I'm sorry, but you have to come with me. Your parents are dead. APPLE BOTTOM. I AM A GOOD MAN." _

_Sadly, this was the code word that mommy agreed on. I swear, sometimes I think that mommy and Daddy John need to be smacked upside the head. Why they gotta be so lame, dog? Ain't Daddy John supposed ta be da gansta one around here?_

_I personally liked Daddy Jeff's code word. His was, "The Imag-I-Nation." Which. Was. TOTALLY COOL! I reeeeeeeally wanted this to be my code word. I really did! And to tell the truth, mommy almost went along with it until Daddy John came up with that Apple Bottom ickiness!_

_But still…I guess it could be worse. Daddy Randy's code word wasn't nearly as smart as Daddy Jeff and Daddy John's. His was, "Hey kid…you want some candy?"_

* * *

"Why, _hello_ there!"

The woman in charge of the daycare, Lillian Garcia, greeted June warmly as the young mother made her way inside the daycare center with Jamie attached to her bosom like a leech. Behind her, the three men followed suit, each looking around the play area with a look of worry (this was from John), uncertainty (this was from Jeff), and disgust (this was from Randy).

"This is ridiculous," the Legend Killer grumbled, scowling at the sight of gurgling babies and wailing toddlers all around the room. "I don't see why I had to check the place out if you two were just going to come along as well…"

Jeff turned to Randy and gave him a look of disbelief. "Why don't you just keep quiet, Orton? Besides, you ain't in no position to argue. You haven't lifted a goddamn finger to help us with the baby ever since Junie came back from the hospital, so coming here is the least you could do!"

"HEY!" Randy cried in outrage, startling several of the nearby children so much that they began to cry. "I do my fair share! I'm the one who brought the clothes for Jamie, and—"

"Please keep your voices down, sirs!" Lillian said sternly to the Legend Killer, the smile on her face slowly becoming strained as several other daycare workers immediately tended to the sobbing babies. "The little ones are easily frightened, and your presence is doing little to help them!"

"…"

"…"

"And I should care about those other brats…why?"

"ANYWAY!" Her smile now completely forced, Lillian turned to June and carefully extracted the terrified Jamie from the dark-haired woman's arms. "So this is Jamie, hmm? She's so cute! What an adorable baseball outfit she's wearing!"

"T-thank you." June attempted and failed to smile when Jamie began to hiccup and sob in Lillian's arms. "John picked it out for her. He even got her a custom made 'Chain Gang' hat…"

"How wonderful! I—uh-oh! " Lillian quickly rocked the tiny infant when Jamie began to wail loudly. "Don't cry, Jamie! It's okay now…"

Jamie only responded by crying harder. _WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Let go of me! I wanna be with my mommy! Give me back to my mommy!_

"Jamie!" June paled as she watched the woman struggle to calm Jamie down. "Ms. Garcia, I didn't think Jamie would be so upset…am I doing the right thing?"

"Don't worry, ma'am!" Lillian replied, laughing as she set the screaming baby down onto a soft pile of cushions. "This is perfectly normal. All children experience separation anxiety on their first day. She'll more than likely calm down in a few minutes."

"Well…I suppose you're right…" Still looking somewhat unsure, June bent down and pressed a kiss against a less-than-happy Jamie's forehead. "Bye, sweetie. Mommy will be back in a few hours, okay? Be good to Ms. Garcia…"

_NOOOOOO! _Jamie shrieked and tried to grab for her mother as June headed towards the exit._ Are you leaving me behind? Are you abandoning me? Mommy, don't leave me here! I'm scared and I don't like this place! Take me with you! Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, Daddy JOHN! Don't you dare leave me here!_

"Say bye-bye to mommy, Jamie!" Bending down so that she was on her knees, Lillian held one of Jamie's tiny fists and waved it at a saddened June, who only halfheartedly waved back. Turning to Randy, Jeff, and John, Lillian waved Jamie's fist at them as well. "And say bye-bye to your daddy! Say bye-bye to your daddy!"

Randy scoffed and averted his gaze, while Jeff blushed and waved meekly at Jamie. John, on the other hand, looked as if he was about to cry as the four of them left the daycare center. "We can't leave Jamie there," he mumbled, looking back at the closed doors as they reached their cars. "Didn't you see the way she was crying? She hates it there!"

"I know." June looked back worriedly as she bit her bottom lip. "Maybe this was a mistake…this seems kind of cruel! Oh, I have to take her out of there!" The young mother turned around, fully intent on going back inside the building when Randy grabbed her by the arm and stopped her.

"What's the matter with you?" the Legend Killer said sternly. "What about your job at the hospital, Junie? You can't bring a baby to a place like that!"

"B-but…"

"And besides," Jeff added, "take a look over there, girl. You ain't the only one who's using this place to drop their kids off." He pointed to a group of mothers and fathers who were now bringing their own babies into the daycare center, mothers and fathers who were all dressed professionally and looked to be in quite a hurry.

The sight of this seemed to calm June down, but John still looked unsure. "I don't know about this," he said quietly. "I still don't think this is a good idea."

"Well, what do you propose then, Cena?" Randy snapped, ushering June into his car as Jeff calmly took his seat in the back of Randy's Hummer H2. "You wanna take the kid and look after her all day in the police precinct? Then go ahead! I'm sure your boss will be thrilled!"

"…"

Randy snorted, slipping inside his Hummer and slamming the door shut from the driver's side. "I didn't think so. Just go to work, Cena. The day will go by faster if you actually _do_ something with that smallish brain of yours." With that, Randy started the engine and slowly drove off with Jeff and June, the latter of which was looking back and giving the young detective a small, parting wave.

As he watched them go, John let out a quiet sigh before getting into his own car. "Well, I guess Orton's right," he muttered, driving away from the daycare as he headed for the police precinct. "Jamie's gonna be fine. No use pouting."

But he hadn't driven more that one block when he heard the sound of a baby crying. More specifically, he heard the sound of _Jamie_ crying. He could hear the little baby's shrieks and wails inside his head, and they were growing louder and more persistent with every passing second.

Crap. His "Jamie Senses" were tingling…

"No! No, she's fine!" he declared loudly, shaking his head to block out the incessant sobbing in his brain. "It's just her first time! That's why she was crying! Jamie is one hundred percent A-okay! She's perfectly safe! Nothing will happen to her! Nothing…will happen…"

The crying became louder.

Ugh.

In a desperate attempt at trying to control his sanity, John quickly turned on the radio, switching to a news station while hoping that morning broadcasts would soothe his shattered nerves. Maybe there was a perpetrator that needed a good old fashioned beat-down…

"_Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. We've just received word that a fire has broken out in a local daycare center. The woman in charge of the daycare, Jillian Hall, and several of the children are safe, but several infants have severely suffered from smoke inhalation…"_

"Oh my god…" Visions of a frightened Jamie being surrounded by angry red flames danced in front of John's eyes, causing the young detective to quickly switch radio stations. Any more of this and he would definitely crack…

"_Breaking news! A bank robber is holding an entire daycare center hostage! The police of district ECW are doing their best to negotiate, but the culprit is unwilling to listen…"_

Well, that did it.

"NOOOOOOO!" John quickly swerved the wheel, making a sharp U-turn as he drove like a madman back towards the daycare. Not even bothering to park correctly, the young detective dashed out of the car and ran inside the building, his blue eyes wide and panicked as he searched desperately for a sign of a little baby girl wearing a baseball uniform, along with a Chain Gang cap. "Jamie! Where are you?"

"S-sir?" Lillian walked up to John worriedly, holding the still hiccupping Jamie in her arms. "Are you okay? Is something the matter?"

"Yes! Yes there is!" John snatched Jamie back from Lillian and held the sobbing baby tightly to his chest as he gave the woman in front of him an apologetic stare. "I'm sorry, Ms. Garcia. We won't be using your services after all. I'll look after Jamie for the day. I'm sorry we wasted your time. And Jamie—" John looked down at the small baby, who was looking back up at him with puffy, red-rimmed eyes "—I'm sorry I left you here. You're _my_ daughter, and I won't ever let this happen to you again."

Jamie sniffed. _You better not, Daddy John, or else I'll never speak to you as long as I live! Not that I can speak yet, but still!_

Without another word, John took Jamie and walked out of the daycare center, with a flabbergasted Lillian looking after them in shock.

* * *

Steve Austin, Chief Investigator of the Raw country precinct, absentmindedly took a sip out of his coffee as he picked up the ringing telephone. "This is Chief Investigator Austin speaking. How may I—"

_Coughcoughcoughcough!_

He was immediately interrupted with a serious of loud, hacking coughs, coughs that were so loud that he actually had to move the phone away from his ear a bit. "Hello? Who is this—"

_Coughcoughcoughcough!_

…well, this was getting him nowhere. "I'm sorry, sir, but you have the wrong number."

Steve quickly hung up without another word, leaving a rather bewildered John on the other end as the young detective stared at the phone in complete disbelief. "I…I can't believe he hung up on me…"

Jamie, who was plopped next to him on the sofa, gave her possible father a frown. _Well, duh, Daddy John! If someone coughed like that to me, I wouldn't want to talk to them either!_

"Maybe I went a bit overboard with the coughing," he muttered. He cleared his throat loudly before redialing the number on his cell. "I'd better tone it down, or else Austin won't believe me…"

_Good plan, Daddy John. Good plan._

Two rings went by, before a deep voice said, "This is Chief Investigator Austin speaking. How may I—"

John immediately coughed, cutting off Steve before he could finish. "Sir! (cough) Please don't hang up, sir! (coughcough) Please!"

"…"

"…"

"…Cena? Is that you?"

"Yes sir!" John quickly threw in another cough, only to regret doing so when he heard Steve let out a displeased growl from the other end of the line.

"Oh my fucking god. That was you before, wasn't it? That coughing lunatic!"

John blinked. Coughing lunatic? That was a bit much… "W-well, sir, you see, I've gotten a bit of a cold, so coughing is natural to get the mucus in my throat out." The young detective coughed again, just to prove his point.

"YOU LIAR!" Steve shouted, causing John to yelp and hold the phone several inches away from his ear. "Since when do _you_ catch colds? You haven't taken a sick day since you accidentally tore your pectorals during the one of our cases! And that was over a year ago!"

"But sir!" John pleaded desperately, "I really am sick! I can't come in today! It's too hard! My body feels all woozy and I have nausea…"

"I don't care if you're crapping in your pants, boy! Get to precinct right now, or I'll suspend you! _Again_!"

"Ack! But sir! I—I have a stomachache! Ow…and it hurts too!" John started to make loud moaning noises, which earned him disgusted looks from both Jamie and Steve.

_Yuck, Daddy John! What's the matter with you? Do you have diarrhea, or something? Go take a potty dump if you need to do that!_

There was a long pause from the other end, before Steve finally let out a long sigh. "Cena…"

John held his breath. "Y-yes sir?"

"If you have a stomachache, then why the hell were you coughing? If I recall, coughing is usually unrelated to stomachaches."

"…"

Crap, he had him there.

"I thought so," Steve said decisively. "Cena, it's nine-ten in the morning now, right? I'll give you thirty minutes. If your goddamn ass isn't at your desk by the end of those thirty minutes…I will personally make sure that you're taken off the force, with NO CHANCE at reinstatement!"

"ACK!" John paled and clutched tightly at his phone. "S-sir! You can't mean that! I—"

"End of discussion! Good-bye!" Without another word, Steve slammed the phone down and the line was disconnected, leaving John gaping like a fish out of water on the other end.

"But—but Steve! STEVE! Wait…"

He stared helplessly at the receiver as the ominous sounds of the dial tone echoed from the phone.

* * *

"I'm worried, Hardy."

"Hmm?" Jeff looked up at Randy as the Legend Killer drove towards the rainbow-haired artist's workplace. "What's wrong, man? You gave that presentation of yours already, so what the heck are ya worried about?"

"It's Junie. Do you think…" Randy paused for a moment, before he sighed and shook his head. "Be honest. Do you really think she can really take on a position on a _task force_? I mean, being on one of those teams can be stressful…and that girl's not exactly what I'd call Wonder Woman."

"What are you saying?" Jeff asked, his eyes narrowing slightly in annoyance. "You think she can't handle it?"

"That's_ exactly_ what I'm saying. How the heck did she even get a position like that anyway? She has no connections! I don't think—"

"Just shut your mouth," Jeff snapped, throwing the Legend Killer a hard glare. "I'll have you know that Junie's a lot tougher and smarter than you and Cena give her credit for! I mean, given what we put her through…I'm surprised she hasn't cracked like an eggshell already because of us."

Randy snorted, although a smirk could be seen on his lips. "Why the heck would she crack now, Hardy? She still owes us for everything we've done for her."

"And this is precisely why I'm surprised she hasn't cracked yet," Jeff replied dryly, which resulted in Randy flipping him off. Just then, Jeff's cell phone rang, and the rainbow-haired artist quickly flipped his phone open at seeing John's name in the caller ID. "Hey, man. What's up?"

"Um…promise you won't be mad."

Jeff raised a brow—for someone who was normally brash and cheerful, the young detective sounded very, _very_ nervous. "Alright. What did you do now, Cena?"

"Oh boy…um, Hardy? Can I ask you for a small favor?"

"How small is it? Can it wait? I'm almost at work and Trish is going to ass-rape me if I don't come in on time."

"Yeah…about that…" John's voice intensified in its nervousness, and Jeff could feel an ominous sinking feeling in the middle of his gut. "That's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you think you could…I dunno…skip work today and come home right now?"

"…"

"…"

"I'm hanging up."

"NO! Hardy, please!"

"_Waaaaaaaaah!_"

"What the…?" Jeff's eyes widened that the very familiar sound of a very familiar wail in the background. _No way…he didn't!_ "What the hell was that? What did I just hear? Did I hear—was that Jamie crying just now?"

At this, Randy quickly turned his gaze towards Jeff, his mouth hanging open in shock as he pulled to a stop in front of Jeff's office building. "Jamie? What's Cena doing with the kid?"

"Quiet, Orton!" Jeff snapped, before he returned his attention to his cell. "Cena, what's going on?"

"Um…" John hesitated on the other end, and Jeff could almost picture the young detective fidgeting back at the apartment. "Well, it's like this. You see, the daycare was on fire and there was a hostage situation and—"

"WHAT?" Jeff yelped, his knuckles turning white as he nearly crushed the phone in his hand. "That freakin' daycare caught on fire? And there's a hostage situation? _When did this happen_?"

"No, no, no! Listen to me, Hardy, it's like this—"

"That place was on fire?" Randy shrieked, his jaw dropping in horror. "Who's holding the kid hostage? What the fuck happened? We only left that place fifteen minutes ago!"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" John screamed, effectively silencing the clearly panicking Jeff and Randy. "Would you two shut up and listen to me for one goddamn second? I heard on the _radio_ that another daycare caught on fire, and that another daycare was being held hostage. I—I got so upset that I just _had_ to take Jamie out of there! I mean, what if the same thing happens at the Crystal Oranges Daycare? By the way, that hostage situation was thankfully all cleared up by another precinct…"

Jeff blinked. "Hold on a second, Cena. Are you telling me that Jamie's daycare is okay?"

"Um, yeah. Pretty much."

"So…you just made me and Orton have mini-heart attacks for no reason at all. Am I right?"

"…"

"…"

"You know, _everything _sounds bad when you use that condescending tone. But seriously, Hardy, I need you to come home! I tried taking the day off, but Steve won't let me stay home, and I can't take Jamie back to that daycare! You have to come back! You have to—"

"UGH!"

Jeff snapped the phone shut and pulled the battery out, tossing the two parts of his cell into the backseat as Randy gave him a worried, questionable look. "So?" the Legend Killer asked. "What happened? Is the kid okay?"

"She's _fine_," the rainbow-haired artist spat, rubbing his temples in frustration as he tried his hardest to forget the potentially stroke-inducing conversation he had had with his supposed best friend. "That fucking idiot Cena got a fucking panic attack after hearing some _news_ on the radio about another daycare that's probably about a hundred miles away!"

Randy's jaw dropped. "WHAT? Are you kidding me?"

"I wish I was," Jeff grumbled. "And to top it off, he even took Jamie out of the daycare! And he has to go to work! I swear, sometimes I wonder how he even managed to become a detective with that non-existent brain of his…"

"Oh god." Randy shook his head as Jeff slowly exited the car. "What's he gonna do with a kid at precinct? I don't think cops allow screeching babies in interrogation rooms nowadays."

"She'll be fine," Jeff replied, waving a careless hand in the air. "Cena's stupid, but he's not _that_ stupid. He would never take Jamie to work with him. That's too fucking dangerous."

* * *

Tiptoeing quietly into the precinct, John struggled to keep the squealing Jamie quiet as she bounced around in his soft front carrier. Ducking into the shadows as a pair of patrol officers came in their direction, he gently pressed a hand over the baby's lips as he begged in hushed tones, "Jamie, please be quiet! I don't want to draw too much attention, especially from Steve!"

"Gack!" Jamie reached up and slapped her tiny hands against her possible father's cheek. _Daddy John, what is this place? I feel all tingly and excited…like a superhero!_

"Alright, now…" Taking a deep breath, John hunched low to the ground and began to crabwalk to his desk, managing to pass by Bob Holly and Cody Rhodes, both of whom were arguing loudly with one another as Ted DiBiase Jr. watched them with a rather smug look on his face.

"Now, now, Holly," Ted said slyly as he waggled a finger mockingly in front of the older detective's face, "you shouldn't be all upset and bitchy just because Cody decided to ditch you and work in the lab with me. No use crying over spilt milk, right?"

"Be quiet, you son-of-a-bitch!" Bob Holly snapped, glaring heatedly at the young computer expert. "This is all your fault! If you hadn't gone around putting those damn ideas into Rhodes's soft little head, he'd still want to work in the field as a detective! Now he has to transfer to that stupid lab in a few days? This is a mockery!"

"HEY! I am _not_ soft!" Cody retorted angrily, which resulted in the three men resuming their shouting match.

Just then…

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Bob Holly, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase all turned towards the sound, finding themselves staring at a frozen, panicked looking John Cena, who was currently only two steps away from his desk while holding a squirming baby girl in a soft front carrier. The three men stared at John, who nervously stared back at them.

A tense, heavy silence settled between the four men.

Finally, John broke the silence. "W-what's the matter? Haven't you people ever seen a baby before? Hmph! Keep your eyes to yourself and go back to work!" With that, he sat down at his desk, pulling out a yellow pacifier and sticking it into Jamie's mouth, effectively silencing her loud squeals. "There we go! Isn't that better, princess?" John grinned widely as Jamie looked up at him with her large, round, innocent brown eyes. "This is where I work! Can you say 'police station,' Jamie? Say 'police station' for me! Oh, woojee, woojee, woojee…"

"…"

"…"

"…" Cody rubbed his eyes, shaking his head as he tried to make sense of the scene before him. "I must be seeing things. Last I recall, Cena didn't have a kid. Or a wife. Or a girlfriend! I mean, Mickie stopped talking to him ages ago, right?"

"Maybe that's a kid from a one-night stand," Ted suggested thoughtfully. "I mean, the kid does sorta resemble him if you squint hard enough."

"Can it, the two of you," Bob Holly said sternly. "I don't care if that's his kid or not—kids aren't allowed here at all! Cena!" The older man made his way towards the young detective and slammed his hands down hard on John's desk, startling both John and Jamie so much that the baby began to cry again.

"Now look what you've done!" John yelled, holding Jamie to his chest as he soothingly rubbed her back. "You scared her, you jerk!"

"Cena, have you lost your damn mind? You can't bring a baby to a police station!"

"Says who?" John argued stubbornly, something that was hard to do considering the fact that Jamie had just spit up on him. He suddenly felt a hand touch his shoulder, and the young detective froze on the spot. _Uh-oh…_ He slowly turned around, and found himself face-to-face with a frowning, clearly pissed-looking Steve Austin.

Well, he was as good as dead now…

"Hi, Cena," Steve said in a too calm voice. John gulped audibly and forced himself to smile.

"Um…hi, Steve."

"Cena?"

"Yes, sir?"

"What the hell is _that_?"

Steve poked at the tiny infant in John's arms, who was currently making loud, squeaking noises as she spat out the pacifier and grasped Steve's large, outstretched index finger in her hands. _Whee! This is a different looking finger! It's all big and fat and hairy! I wonder if I can suck on it? _She laughed as she held on tightly to Steve, much to the older man's pleasant surprise.

"It's a…it's a baby, sir," John replied pathetically, grasping Jamie's hands and loosing her hold on Steve's finger. "She—she's Junie's daughter, sir…and I'm her babysitter."

Steve blinked, as did Bob Holly, Cody, and Ted. "…say that again, Cena?" Steve said slowly. "Did I hear you say that you were this kid's babysitter?"

"…yes."

"And where's her mother?" Ted cut in, raising an amused brow as the little baby began to bounce energetically in the soft front carrier. "Isn't she supposed to be looking after the brat?"

"She left her in a daycare," John answered quietly, his head slowly lowering with every word, "but I took her out. I…I didn't trust the place to be safe."

For a moment, everyone was at a loss for words.

Then, Bob Holly slapped John upside the head, causing the young detective to yelp loudly in pain. "OW! Holly, what the hell?"

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT, BOY?" Holly roared, which caused John to quickly hush the older man down.

"Holly! Be quiet! You'll scare the baby!"

"…fine." Bob Holly cleared his throat, and spoke in a much lower voice. "Are you an idiot, Cena? Like I said before, this isn't a place for babies! Do you realize how dangerous some of the perps are in here? What if she gets hurt? What then?"

"But Mr. Holly, sir," Cody interrupted, "if you think about it, this is virtually the safest place in the whole city for little Jamie. I mean, with all these policemen, how can any perp hurt the baby?"

"Oh no, not you too, Rhodes!" Steve groaned, only to fall silent when Jamie began to giggle and reach out for him. The Chief Investigator blinked as the baby held her arms out, her fingers curling into his beard and tugging at it playfully. Steve's eyes softened slightly, and he covered Jamie's miniscule hand with his much larger one. "…hmm…"

"I think she wants a hug!" John said quickly, realizing that Steve's defenses were breaking down. Removing Jamie from the soft front carrier, John carefully placed the little baby in Steve's arms, a small grin spreading across his lips as Jamie began to pat her tiny palms against the Chief Investigator's face, her eyes widening as she felt the older man's large nose, his scruffy beard, and his shiny, hairless scalp.

_Daddy John, Daddy John! This man has nothing on the top of his head, but he has hair on his face instead! Why is that? Did he switch places for hair? I want hair on my face too! Tee hee!_

"Aww, she's cute!" Cody gushed, only to receive glares from Ted and Bob Holly. "What? Don't stare at me like that! I saw you grinning at the baby when you thought no one was looking, Ted!"

"…fine," Steve said suddenly. He handed Jamie back to John and spun on his heels, heading in the direction of his office. "Fine," he repeated, his voice oddly soft and low. "She can stay. But—" Steve turned back and gave John a hard stare "—it's only for today, understand? If I see her here again, I'll have your badge, Cena!"

"Yes, sir!" Cena said loudly, holding Jamie with one arm while giving Steve a mock salute with the other. Jamie giggled, and tried to mimic John's pose as Cody and Ted (and Bob Holly, to an extent) crowded around the young detective and asked if they could hold Jamie too.

* * *

Dressed in her old green scrubs, June studied the folders on the table, not quite believing what she was reading.

"Aromatherapy Efficiency," she read on one of the folders. "Study of Wire-Driven Nerve Rehabilitation?" She looked up at Dave, whose facial expression became more and more embarrassed by the minute. "Dr. Batista, these subjects are all…are all experimental and unapproved! Some of these files are even outdated! Why do we have to research _these_ topics?"

"Well…" Dave scratched the back of his head nervously, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. "As I've said before, Mrs. Grisham, this entire department was created so that Vickie could justify why she had to demote me without making her so-called boyfriend look bad."

"Oh…right…"

"We're not really expected to _do_ anything, other than to stay out of Vickie's way."

"I see." The dark-haired woman's face fell, and she slumped at her seat in dismay. "I was hoping that maybe we could research therapies for Lymphedema, or maybe something related to physical rehabilitation in general. But if this is the case, then…"

Seeing how much the situation upset her, Dave took a seat next to her and pulled the useless files out of her hands. "Mrs. Grisham, don't look so glum. I didn't say that you couldn't do anything that _didn't _involve the case files."

"Huh?" June looked up in surprise. "But sir, what could I do outside this department?"

"Well," Dave replied thoughtfully as he scratched his chin, "as the Research Task Force team, we _do_ have the authority to go to other departments and help out as long as it related to something we're, ah, _supposedly_ researching."

June felt the corners of her lip twitch at the last statement. _Supposedly, huh? Dr. Batista, what a naughty boy you are._ "And what are we supposedly researching, sir?" she asked in a slightly teasing tone. "Would it relate to why we haven't seen Dr. Mysterio all day?"

"As I suspected, you are too clever for your own good, Mrs. Grisham." Dave lowered his head and gave her a mock bow. "I succumb to your superior observation skills. Yes, Rey hasn't been here all day because he's been in the Physical Rehabilitation Department."

"Oh, really?" The young mother's eyes lit up at the mention of the Physical Rehabilitation Department. "He's there? How?"

"Big Show's in charge of that department now."

"…Big…Show?" June stared at Dave in confusion. "Who's that? I haven't read about any doctor named 'Big Show' around here…"

Dave laughed and shook his head. "That's only his nickname, Mrs. Grisham. I'm referring to Dr. Paul Wight. He's one of the biggest guys we have on staff…and he just so happens to owe me a favor. That's why he's been letting Rey help out there when Vickie and Edge aren't looking."

"I see! So…um…" June twiddled her thumbs, before she looked up at Dave with a shy smile. "Dr. Batista, I know this is a bit forward of me, but…would it be okay if I could join Dr. Mysterio at the Physical Rehabilitation Department? It would be a great way for me to catch up on all of my previous skills! I mean, I didn't exactly have the chance to practice physical therapy during my pregnancy…"

"Go ahead," Dave replied, waving her off towards the door. "I'll write a report saying that we're all working on a new way for physical rehabilitation patients to heal in a more effective manner."

"Yay!" June leapt out of her seat in excitement and hugged the large doctor hard around the neck, not noticing the dark hue that had suddenly appeared on the man's cheeks. "You're the best, Dr. Batista! I promise I won't forget this!" With that, she practically skipped out of the room, nearly bumping into a tall, blond man as she hurriedly apologized and continued on her way.

Dave froze. The blond man, who was now standing at the edge of the doorway, stared after June with a strange, critical look in his eye. "Hmm," Edge murmured in thought. "She seems familiar…"

"What do you want now, Edge?" the Animal spat coldly, glaring hatred at the Canadian as he strolled inside the room. "I don't recall ever asking you for a social visit."

At Dave's tone, Edge gasped and clutched dramatically at his chest. "Are you telling me that I can't stop by and say hi to an old pal of mine? I'm hurt, Dave! I really am…"

"Why don't you go fuck yourself?" Dave retorted angrily, clenching his fists hard against his side in an attempt to stay calm. "You are definitely no _pal_ of mine, so why don't you just go away and die in a dirty ditch somewhere?"

"Heh!" Edge grabbed a chair and sat down next to Dave, scooting his seat a bit closer than the large doctor would have liked. "Now, now, Batista. You need to control that temper of yours, or else my precious Victoria might demote you. _Again._"

Dave growled, but said nothing.

"Of course, it's not like getting a demotion would be _that_ bad," Edge went on coyly, looking through the useless files that June had just fingered moments ago. "At least if you're a clinical doctor, you would have something _useful_ to do. I mean, even those low-ranked clinic idiots don't have to read stupid files that have no importance to the world…"

Dave buried his face in his hands, willing himself with all of his might to not murder the man in front of him.

"By the way…" Edge stopped leafing through the files and gave the Animal a curious look. "Who was that woman?"

"Huh?" Dave looked up from his hands, blinking. "What did you say?"

"That woman. The one wearing scrubs. The one who almost bumped into me when she left this room." Edge then sighed, and rubbed his temples. "I didn't get a good look, but I'm almost positive that I've seen her before…"

"She's my newest employee," Dave said quickly, noting that the blond Canadian was displaying far too much interest in June. "I just hired her yesterday. Why do you ask?"

"Hmm? Oh, no reason." Edge then smiled and picked a stray bit of lint from his shirt. "Of course, I will have to inform Vickie about this."

"Vickie?" Dave repeated, raising a brow in curiosity. "But why? It's_ my_ department, and it's _my_ decision to hire whomever I want!"

"Yes…" Edge flicked the lint ball away from him carelessly, before turning to Dave with a rather wicked smile. "However, your department belongs to _Vickie_. You might be that new girl's boss, but Vickie happens to be _your_ boss. And as such, I think that Vickie should be informed of your newest recruit. I mean, we wouldn't want to have people without credentials on hospital staff, now would we?"

And here, Dave froze. _Oh shit…_

"Well," Edge said cheerfully, standing up as he gave Dave a one-fingered salute, "I guess I'll see you later then! And have that woman with you too…I'm sure that Vickie would like to talk to her."

With a mocking grin, the blond left the room, leaving a furious Animal behind to drown in his thoughts and worries.

* * *

"Tell us what happened," Bob Holly said to the two eyewitnesses that had been brought in for questioning.

Sean Gaspard and Jayson "JTG" Paul, two members of a small gang called Cryme Tyme, punched their hands in their fists as they stared in earnest seriousness at Bob Holly. "So I was sitting there," Sean explained, "and this fucking son-of-a bitch comes along and—"

"AHEM!" John, who was partnering with Bob Holly for the witness report, gave Sean a hard glare as he rocked the napping Jamie in his arms. "Mind toning down the language a bit, pal? We got a little baby here, and I don't want one of her first words to be a vulgarity!"

"Huh?" Sean blinked in confusion, before he spotted the tiny infant dozing peacefully in the young detective's arms. "Oh. Sorry man…I'll change the words a bit, aight? Um…so I was sitting there, and this…lousy…son-of-a-female-dog comes along and punches that poor kid in the gut…"

"See?" John said cheerfully. "Isn't that better?"

Sean shrugged. "I guess."

"So," Bob Holly went on, his left eye twitching slightly as he read from the crime report, "you went to call the police while your friend tried to intervene with the mugging. Am I right?"

"Damn right, man!" JTG agreed loudly, which earned him another glare from John. "What, man? I didn't curse or nothing!"

"You're too loud!" John hissed, covering Jamie's ears as she hiccupped and whimpered, but remained fast asleep. "The baby is sleeping, or can't you see that?"

"Oh. Sorry." JTG lowered his head meekly, before he continued his account of the crime in a much lower tone. "So as I was saying," he whispered, "I charged at the guy, trying to save the kid. And then this motherfucker—"

John growled loudly.

"—I mean, this no good, not nice person," JTG corrected hastily, "tried to stab me with a freaking switchblade! I _had _to clobber that guy with that two-by-four I found in the trashcan! It was the only way to save the kid!"

And here, John smiled. "See? Don't you feel better using low tones and soft words? It makes for a much better work environment."

"…yeah, actually," JTG agreed, grinning widely as Jamie finally yawned and opened her eyes, blinking sleepily at the detectives and witnesses. "I do feel better. Hey Sean. We should talk like this more often!"

"That's right!" John declared proudly, giving a high-five to JTG as both Sean and Bob Holly hung their heads in shame.

"I can't believe this," Bob Holly muttered. "First I lose Cody to that faggot Ted, and now I'm stuck with this idiot as my new partner…"

Suddenly, a patrolman ran into the room, panting as he gave all of the surrounding detectives a terrified stare. "We found him!" the patrolman gasped. "Papa John! The REAL Papa John! He's hiding in an abandoned house five blocks away from here! We have to catch him now!"

"Right!"

With that, Bob Holly, Cody, and Steve ran to their vehicles, leaving a flabbergasted Cryme Tyme and John behind. John hesitated, looking down upon a curious Jamie as she blinked up innocently at her possible father.

_Daddy John? What's going on? Huh? _Jamie squeaked as John suddenly got up and followed the other detectives to the car. _Hey! Where are we going? Daddy? Daddy? DADDY JOOOOOHN!_

* * *

Steve held three aluminum baseball bats in his hands, and stared the other detectives before him with narrowed eyes. "Here," he said gruffly, passing one of the bats to Bob Holly. "Here," he said again as he tossed another bat to Cody. When he reached John, who had Jamie dangling from the soft front carrier, Steve said nothing.

"…"

"…"

"Um, boss?" John asked nervously, waiting for his bat. "Can I get my blunt instrument, please? We have a perp to catch!"

"You don't get one, Cena," Bob Holly snapped in irritation. "Are you daft, you idiot? You can't go up against Papa John with a baby in your arms!"

"He's got a point, man," Cody agreed.

"But—but—" John turned to Steve, who still hadn't said a word to him. "Steve! Come on! I'm the one who catches the most perps out of anybody! You can't leave me out of this case!"

"Cena," Steve said finally, "shut up and stay in the goddamned car. We'll handle this, so you just concentrate on keeping that little girl safe, ya hear?"

"But sir…!"

"That's an order!" Steve roared, effectively silencing John while simultaneously scaring Jamie into tears. Turning to the others, Steve said loudly, "Alright! Now, the rest of you, move out! I want all exits blocked! I don't want to give this guy the chance to get away!"

"Yes sir!" Bob Holly and Cody (now on their last mission as partners) immediately ran out of the car and circled around the perimeter of the house that Papa John was hiding in. As Steve quickly ran after them, John slammed the car door shut, pouting as he cradled Jamie to his chest.

"Not fair," he grumbled, glaring at Steve's back as the older man disappeared behind the front gates. "I could have helped…"

Jamie looked up and shook her little head solemnly. _Daddy John, you're so spoiled! I swear, whenever you don't get your way, you become all mopey! You're worse than me, and that's saying something! At least I have an excuse—I'm a baby!_

John held Jamie to his chest, running a hand through her downy fine hair…when just then, his radio began to crackle loudly.

"_ACK!_"

The young detective's eyes widened. That was Cody…

"_Mr. Holly! Mr. Austin! That bastard stabbed my leg! He's heading for the front door…!"_

The front door?

John looked out the window and gasped when he saw the culprit climbing over the front gates. John glanced around—Bob Holly and Steve were no where in sight, and if his leg was truly stabbed, Cody wouldn't be able to catch up to the perp. The bastard was going to get away if he didn't interfere…

The young detective looked down at Jamie, who stared back at him with wide, horrified eyes. "Jamie," he muttered, "what should I do?"

_What do you mean, what should you do? GO GET HIM, YOU IDIOT! I'll help, so go get him!_

The culprit was now right beside the car. Before he could stop himself, John quickly opened the door and kicked hard at the man's midsection, knocking the culprit right off of his feet and sending him crashing hard onto the concrete pavements.

"OW! What the hell?" The man looked up and glared at John as he stepped out of the vehicle, with a squealing Jamie in his arms. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Hey now," John said in a low, warning tone, "I have a baby here. Don't use that kind of language around her."

"W-what?" The man stared at John in disbelief, before he growled and pulled out a small, bloody knife. "Go to hell, you sick bastard! Bringing a kid into all this? And I'M the one they're arresting?"

"Put that knife away and keep your voice down," John snarled, while Jamie threw in a glare of her own (which, given her cuteness, wasn't really all that intimidating). "I said I have a baby here!"

"Fuck you!" With that, the man let out a wild shriek and charged straight at John…

…only to trip when the young detective moved out of his way and kneed him hard in the gut, forcing the knife to fall from his hand. The man gasped, but before he could catch his breath, John punched him with a solid right uppercut that sent the man flying through the air before landing hard on the ground, his eyes glazed and his head reeling as the other detectives finally arrived on the scene.

"C-Cena?" Steve stared at the unconscious culprit and the unharmed John and Jamie. "Did you do this?"

"Hey, man!" Cody yelled, as he slowly limped to the scene with Bob Holly supporting his weight. "That was awesome, man! I saw that uppercut of yours! Could you teach me that move?"

"Heh!" John merely grinned while Jamie, who was completely unscathed, squealed in delight.

_We did it, Daddy John! We caught that no good poopie head! Yaaaaay, Daddy John!_

"Well, I'm impressed," Bob Holly commented, while Steve bent down to handcuff the still unconscious perpetrator. "For a baby girl, that kid's still laughing and giggling like she just won a trip to the moon! Wonder who she takes after? Her mother or father?"

"Um…" John laughed nervously, while Jamie bounced up and down energetically in the carrier. "I…I'm not sure how to answer that, really…"

"You know," Cody replied, reaching out to pat Jamie on the head, "for some reason, she _really_ reminds me of you, Cena."

"Really?" John then stared at Jamie, who in turned grinned as she placed a tiny hand against the young detective's cheek. John's eyes misted over, and he felt a strange, warm feeling suddenly expand in his chest, like a seed that was finally sprouting after being kept in the dark for a long time. Gently stroking the baby's cheek, John whispered quietly, "Is it true, Jamie? Could you…could you really be mine?"

Jamie didn't answer. Instead, she giggled and spit up on John's shirt. Again.

* * *

**I was tagged to do an I-Pod Shuffle by the awesome writer **_**Westfan**_**, and she suggested doing shuffles based on the pairings of this story. And the idea, after mulling it over, is beginning to grow on me. If you guys want me to write the shuffles based on this story, then let me know through PMs or reviews! I might start off with Jeff/June and go on from there if enough people like the shuffle idea.**

**If not, I can always do a Hunter/Chyna, the only pairing I like besides Hunter/Stephanie. :D**

**Read and review.**


	21. Division of Responsibility

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Okay, so this is a short chapter. I originally intended for it to be longer, but after looking over my outlines, I decided that it would be more organized for this chapter to serve as a build up to the next...so I split up the contents.

**Twenty-One: Division of Responsibility**

_Thanksgiving dinner. My favorite meal of them all.  
_

_I remember one Thanksgiving dinner in particular. Mommy had just come back from the hospital after getting her appendix taken out, but she still wasn't feeling too good, so my daddies and I had to make the Thanksgiving dinner instead of her._

_It…was…a__…__MESS!_

_Daddy John said that he would do the turkey. Which sucked, because he 1) always makes the turkey every year anyway, 2) he always overstuffs the bird until it looks like it's going to explode, and 3) he always puts these little weenies on top. Daddy John said that the weenies were there to keep the meat moist, but Daddy Jeff told me that he was lying. You see, mommy had put Daddy John on a diet__…__and sausages weren't on the list. So this was his way of sneaking sausages to eat._

_Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!_

_That left me and Daddy Randy and Daddy Jeff to make…everything else._

_That was torture. We didn't know what to do. Mommy always made every meal, and she made them so perfectly that we had all become lazy and dependant on her. How were we supposed to know how to make candied yams? How were we supposed to get the marshmallows to melt __**just right **__over the sweet potatoes? What were rose radishes anyway? And how the heck was mommy able to make those special secret mashed potatoes of hers? There's an extra ingredient there somewhere…I'm sure of it…_

_While Daddy Randy and Daddy Jeff fumbled over making the dishes, I made the most important dish of all._

_Apple pie._

_I told my daddies that I didn't need help. And I really didn't! I knew how to make the crust. You take some cereal, mix in some peanut butter, and mush the mixture onto a pie tin! Then, add applesauce for filling! Finally, place some more cereal on top of the applesauce, and voila! Homemade apple pie, Jamie-style!_

_When I showed the pie to my mommy and daddies, they all gave me this really funny look. Mommy was the only one who took a bite, and she told me that it was "…interesting, sweetie."_

_And that was the only thing she had to eat. Daddy Randy and Daddy Jeff had burned everything else, and Daddy John's turkey had exploded in the oven._

_We all went out to a restaurant to eat later._

* * *

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Jeff's hands were clenching and unclenching repeatedly, while a muscle worked furiously in Randy's jaw. Both men weren't talking. Instead, they were sitting side by side on the sofa, staring hard at the clock set in front of them which read: _8:32 PM_.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Randy spoke.

"He's late," the Legend Killer stated coldly.

"I can see that," Jeff replied sarcastically. "The real question is, however…why is Cena late? And where the hell did he take Jamie? Because she ain't at the daycare, that much I know for sure…"

"And where the hell is Junie?" Randy added, his blue eyes narrowing icily at the clock. "She said she was coming home early to pick Jamie up, but she's the latest out of all of us!"

Jeff snorted. "Well, if the baby ain't at the daycare, my guess is that Junie's probably worrying her brains out trying to look for her. I called her and told her about Cena's stupidity, but she still seemed to want to go and look for Jamie…"

Just then, the door opened and John walked into the apartment, looking very pleased with himself despite the fact that there were several yellowing spit stains all over his body. In his arms, Jamie was squeaking in delight when she caught sight of Jeff and Randy, and stretched her tiny arms out towards them for a hug.

_Hi Daddy Jeff! Hi Daddy Randy! Did you miss me? Why do you guys look like you're going to murder somebody right now?_

"Cena!" Jeff roared, making his way to John and snatching the baby away from the young detective's arms. "What the hell did you think you were doing, huh? You wanna send us all to an early grave? Where the hell did you take Jamie all day?"

"Relax!" John shouted as he attempted to take Jamie back, only to have his hand fiercely slapped by Jeff. "Ow…what's your problem, Hardy? She was fine! I took her to the precinct and—"

"You WHAT?" Randy bellowed, grabbing John by the collar and shaking him madly. "Are you insane, you stupid son-of-a-bitch? How could you bring Jamie there? What if the she got hurt by one of those crazy inmates you haul in every day?"

"HEY! She was perfectly fine!" John retorted heatedly, shoving Randy away as he smoothed out the wrinkles in his shirt. "For your information, everyone at the station treated Jamie like a little princess! Cody and Ted were doing freakin' back flips just to impress her. Even Steve couldn't get enough of her! She was just so cute…by the way, where's Junie?" John looked around the apartment curiously. "She said she was going to come home early, didn't she?"

Jeff snorted as he sat back onto the sofa with Jamie plopped on his lap. "If anyone's to blame for Junie being late, it's _you_, Cena."

"ME?"

"No, duh! Junie almost hit the roof when I told her what you did! Hell, she's probably searching the streets, looking for you right now."

"But…but…" John looked crushed. "But why? She doesn't have to worry! I took great care of Jamie today!"

"No," Randy snapped in an irritated manner. "You _kidnapped _the kid from a daycare center, without the consent of the mother. I'm surprised that all the other cops didn't arrest you on the spot simply on the basis that your idiocy is a hazard to all mankind."

"Why don't you shut up, Orton?" John said angrily. "You just don't understand how my sweet little girl thinks! And anyway, you didn't see Jamie's face when I picked her up from that place. She looked so upset and miserable that she was grateful for me taking her out of there! She hates that daycare center! I'm never sending her back there, you hear me?"

Jeff shook his head before giving John an annoyed stare. "Cena, Jamie might just as much be _my_ little girl instead of yours, so stop saying that she belongs to you. Also…are you out of your goddamn mind? If we don't send Jamie back to the daycare, then who's gonna watch her when we all go to work?"

"Even I know that leaving a baby at home alone counts as child abuse," Randy added, crossing his arms as he took a seat next to Jeff and Jamie. The small infant squealed in excitement and reached out for the Legend Killer, her little hands grasping at his sleeve as she clamored for Randy's attention. Randy raised a curious brow, before smirking and taking the tiny fist in his own. "You know, the kid's much cuter up close. She really looks a lot like Junie…"

"I know, right?" John exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with glee. "That's why Jamie's so beautiful! Because she looks just like her pretty mommy!"

Randy snorted out loud and dropped Jamie's hand (much to the baby's dismay). "Don't kid yourself, Cena. I said that Jamie and Junie are _cute,_ not pretty. Hell, Junie ain't even pretty at all—why, I know plenty of women who are ten times more exotic than Junie can ever _hope_ to be."

"WHAT?" John stared at the Legend Killer in a mixture of anger and disbelief. "Why you—how can you say that—that—"

"Can we please get back to the problem at hand?" Jeff cried out in exasperation, covering both of Jamie's ears as John and Randy began to break out in slew of unmentionable curses. "Even though Junie _is _very pretty—" Jeff threw a cold glare at Randy as he said this "—goddamn it, this isn't the most important thing to worry about right now. What's important is what we do next regarding the situation with Jamie!"

"What situation?" John retorted. "It's obvious! We can all take turns watching her!"

"…"

"…"

"…are you insane?" Randy said flatly. "We're all _working_ people with _working_ jobs. How are we supposed to watch Jamie, hmm? Get a babysitter? Babysitters cost money, Cena!"

"I didn't say to get a babysitter!" John yelled angrily. "I don't want strangers watching my—"

Jeff growled.

"—_our_ daughter," John corrected hastily. "I don't feel comfortable having other people watch Jamie. It's not right!"

Jeff sighed and uncovered Jamie's ears, bouncing the little baby on his knee. "Look, Cena…we're not exactly thrilled with the idea of leaving Jamie all day in the care of strangers either. But you have to be realistic about it! None of us have time to watch her! And besides, lots of other parents leave their kids at daycares!"

"That's because most parents only consist of two people!" John argued back. "But our family is special! There are four of us, including Junie for crying out loud! That's two extra people—we can definitely take care of Jamie using those numbers! All we have to do is rearrange our schedule a bit, and—"

"REARRANGE OUR SCHEDULE?" Randy roared, causing Jamie to wail in fright. "Are you insane? I can't do that!"

"Why not, Orton?" John said furiously. "Jeff's usually home most of the time, and you're off two days a week! When Jeff has to go to his office, you can watch Jamie!"

"And what about you, Cena?" Jeff asked dryly, gently cradling the whimpering Jamie in his arms as the little baby sucked unhappily at her thumb. "Are _you_ ever going to watch her, or are you going to leave all the caretaking duties to us?"

The young detective coughed, before he scratched the back of his head nervously. "W-well, I can watch Jamie during my days off, and I can try to get home by six to watch the baby so that you guys get a break."

Randy blinked, trying to figure out the math in his head. "So…if I'm off Sundays and Wednesdays…and if you're off Fridays…and if Jeff and Junie are off Thursdays and…wait a minute…ACK!" The Legend Killer shrieked in frustration and stood up angrily from the couch, making his way to his room. "Forget it! This is too complicated! I'm not watching the kid!"

"ORTON!" John ran after the Legend Killer and wedged his foot in the entrance just as Randy tried to slam the door to his room shut. "Damn it, Orton! Don't you walk away from me when we're discussing Jamie! You only have to watch her two days a week!"

"That's two days too many!" Randy growled, trying to close the door even with John's foot in the way. "Honestly, do you guys think that I have nothing to do on my days off? I have a life, you know! I need those days off to take Sam on dates!"

John blinked. "Sam? Who the hell is Sam?"

"Sam is his rich new girlfriend," Jeff said loudly from the living room. "But the asshole's only dating her because she's got money and connections…can you believe him?"

Throwing the door open, Randy stuck his head out and hissed, "Mind your own fucking business, Hardy! I happen to be—to be very _fond_ of Sam, so stay out of my goddamn fucking life!"

"Don't curse in front of Jamie!" John yelled furiously, his fists clenched and poised to hit the Legend Killer if needed. "I can't believe you're so cold. She could be your daughter, and you're just going to ignore her?"

"That kid is NOT my daughter!" Randy snarled, glaring icily at the young detective as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm a fucking C.E.O. of a corporate company, Cena. I have to go out and meet people and develop ways to take down the competition on a daily basis. I know it's hard for a dimwit like you to understand, but the bottom line is…I can't watch the kid!"

"So you're just going to abandon Jamie, Orton? Is that what you're telling me?"

"GODDAMN IT!" The Legend Killer swore loudly and ran a hand through his short brown hair. "Would you get off my fucking back already? If you don't like the daycare center, then look after her yourself! _You're_ the one who took the baby out of that place, so _you're_ the one responsible for her!"

"…"

"…"

"I'm not getting into this," Jeff muttered, holding a terrified Jamie close to his chest as he got up and disappeared into his room. As the rainbow-haired artist vanished behind the doors, John turned to Randy with an almost unemotional look in his eye.

"So Orton," the young detective said in a too calm voice, "do you really feel this way about Jamie?"

_...why does he sound so_—_so cold? _Randy felt a bit nervous at the tone of John's voice, but he forced himself to nod nevertheless. "Yes, Cena. Yes I do."

"So you don't want anything to do with her."

"That's right."

"Well, then…" John looked thoughtful, before a hard glare crossed his handsome facial features. "Then I'll just call Junie right now and tell her the truth about Jamie's paternity!"

"WHAT?"

Randy's jaw hit the floor, and Jeff stuck his head out of his room in shock. "What the hell did you just say?" the rainbow-haired artist cried out in horror. "What the hell did you just say, Cena?"

"N-no way," Randy stammered. "Y-you're bluffing. You wouldn't dare tell Junie the truth…"

John didn't reply. Instead, he pulled out his phone and began to dial in the number to June's cell. "867-5309…" He cleared his throat loudly and waited as the phone began to ring. And ring. And ring…

"NO!"

The young detective yelped when he felt two hard bodies tackle him to the floor, Jeff pinning him down as Randy snatched the phone out of his hand and snapped it shut, effectively disconnecting the call. "What the FUCK is your problem, Cena?" the Legend Killer screamed, smacking John hard upside the head as Jeff threw in a hit of his own. "Are you insane? We can't tell Junie!"

"And why not?" John shouted in retaliation, attempting and failing to retrieve his phone from Randy. "Any one of us could be Jamie's real daddy…and you just want to walk away from it all! If you hate the baby so much, then let's just tell Junie the truth and get a paternity test! If you're not the daddy, then you don't have to worry about a thing!"

"It ain't about that, you fucking idiot!" Jeff shrieked, punching the young detective in the gut in anger. "Do you realize this will kill Junie if we tell her about the sperm problem? She really believes that Jamie belongs to Todd!"

"I don't care. I'm tired of lying to her! GIVE ME MY PHONE!"

"_Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah_!"

The three men froze in the middle of their fight and turned towards the source of the wail. They simultaneously paled when they found Jamie crawling towards them, whimpering as she gave them a terrified and frightened look.

_W-what's wrong with all of you? _Jamie sniffed and wiped her eyes. _W-why are you fighting? Stop it! You're all scaring me…_

"Goddamn it…" Jeff untangled himself from John and Randy and quickly scooped up the unhappy baby. "There, there, baby girl," he said soothingly, gently rubbing Jamie's back in an effort to calm her down. "Don't cry…"

"You see what you did, Orton?" John said testily as he and Randy picked themselves off the floor. "You made Jamie cry!"

"ME? You're the one who started this stupid fight in the first place!"

"Would you two shut your freakin' mouths?" Jeff shrieked, startling both men into silence. Nudging John with his foot, the rainbow-haired artist said gruffly, "You both need to get your acts together! Cena, I agree with you on the idea that we need to share responsibility. But I won't have you physically attacking Orton every time he says something stupid!"

"HEY!" Randy looked extremely insulted. "I don't say stupid things! All I said was the truth!"

"Anyway," Jeff went on, ignoring the infuriated Legend Killer, "I'll try your idea, Cena. When Trish doesn't want me at the office, I'll look after Jamie for the day."

"What?" Randy stared at Jeff in disbelief. "Oh, come on, Hardy! You can't actually be agreeing with this idiot's idea!"

"Don't you call me an idiot!" John growled. "I get enough of that at the precinct! And besides, this is the best thing to do for Jamie. I mean, just look at her!" The young detective pointed at the tiny infant, who was now quiet and relaxed in Jeff's arms. "Do you have any idea how much happier that little girl is with us? She was miserable at that daycare. When I went to pick her up, she was still crying for us!"

Jamie sniffled in agreement. _That's right, Daddy John! You tell them everything about that terrible place! I'm never going back there, you hear me?_

"Well, that ain't gonna happen again," Jeff declared, hugging Jamie to his chest as he gave her a loud, lip-smacking kiss on the cheek. "Our little princess won't ever have to deal with those kinds of tears again…right, Jack?" The rainbow-haired artist grinned as his dog leapt onto the couch, curiously sniffing the little baby before eagerly licking the giggling Jamie's face.

_Teeheeheehee! That tickles!_

"And furthermore," the young detective added, this time staring directly at a disgruntled looking Randy, "you'd better keep your word about watching over Jamie, alright Orton? If not…I really _will_ go to Junie and tell her everything!"

"…"

"…"

"…well, Orton? I'm waiting for an answer!"

"Alright, Cena!" Randy snapped, rubbing his temples in frustration. "You win, you stupid son-of-a-bitch! I'll do it…"

"Do what?" a quiet voice asked from the doorway. The three men looked up and saw a tired, disheveled June walking towards them, kicking off her shoes as she sat in between Jeff and Randy and slipped a cooing Jamie into her arms. "Oh Jamie," she murmured to the gurgling baby. "You made me worry so much! I looked everywhere for you…"

John laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Err, sorry about that, Junie. I guess I sort of panicked when it came to the baby…"

"That's the understatement of the year," Randy muttered under his breath, only to receive a kick in the shins from John. "Ow…"

"You should have called me, John," June scolded lightly, still clutching the tiny infant to her bosom as she gave the young detective a hard stare. "Do you realize how worried I was when Jeff called me? I had to leave work a little early to look for the two of you!"

John blushed and lowered his gaze. "Don't be mad. I really am sorry, you know."

"Oh, John…" The young mother sighed and softened her gaze. "I know you mean well, but I wish you could be less impulsive at times. And anyway—" here she gave John a curious stare "—did you find something wrong with the daycare? Was there a problem with Ms. Garcia?"

"No! It's not that! But…" John blushed harder. "I was thinking that…that maybe _we_ should take care of Jamie from now on."

"Huh?" June blinked in confusion, and gave the three men a curious stare. "W-what do you mean? None of us has any time to take care of Jamie during the day."

"That's why we'll split the work, Junie!" Jeff answered quickly, plastering a grin to his face as he slipped an arm around the dark-haired woman's shoulders. "I mean, Jamie's not quite used to meeting strangers yet, and besides, we love her like she was our own daughter! I'm home most of the time anyway, and Cena and Orton can look after the kid on their days off!"

"But—but—" June stammered, completely taken aback by the sudden turn of events. "But guys, what's with the change of heart? I thought you all said that you were too busy to take care of her."

"That was then and this is now!" John said proudly, wrapping his own arm around Junie while simultaneously shoving Jeff off of June at the same time (which resulted in one very pissed-off artist with murderous intentions in mind). "We want to take care of you and the baby, Junie, and if we have to rearrange our schedule a bit to do so, then that's just what we'll do! Right, Hardy?"

"Yeah, Cena…but shove me like that again and I'll put a nail right through your goddamn corneas!"

The young detective snorted. "Whatever. And what about you, Orton?" John glared at Randy, who looked as if he had just been force-fed poison. "You're in on this too, _right_?"

"…"

"RIGHT?"

Silence. Then, Randy snorted and averted his gaze. "Whatever."

"Good."

June still didn't seem sure. "I don't know…I don't want to burden you guys. If you want, I can just find another daycare…"

"It's alright, Junie," John insisted, his arm tightening around her as he ran a hand through the baby's soft, extra-fine hair. "We _want_ to take care of the baby. Besides, like I said before, I love Jamie as if she was my own kid, and I don't want strangers to be looking after her."

Jeff nodded in agreement. "It causes us physical heartbreak to be separated from the little lady. I ain't ever gonna feel a hundred percent right if Jamie's away from us at such a young age. Right, Orton?"

The rainbow-haired artist elbowed Randy hard in the gut, earning himself a deadly glare from the Legend Killer before Randy finally growled in defeat. "_Yes_…"

"See?" John exclaimed, grinning widely as he took Jamie from June's arms and swung the baby around in the air. "Everything solved! We're gonna have so much fun together, right Jamie?"

Jamie squealed happily in response, finally invoking a smile from her exhausted mother. "Well," June replied quietly, "if it's really alright with you guys, then I guess I can't argue…but who's going to watch Jamie tomorrow?"

"Orton is!" John said quickly, unaware of the furious looks that Randy was throwing in his direction. "It's his day off tomorrow, and he's been _dying_ to have a chance to bond with Jamie! What, with his work and all, he barely gets to spend any time with her!"

"Now wait just a minute, Cena—" Randy began angrily, only to get cut off when June gave him a strange, questioning look.

"Randy," she murmured, her voice soft and filled to the brim with uncertainty. "I…I didn't think you cared so much about Jamie."

"Um…well…" At the young mother's bright, hopeful stare, the Legend Killer felt his face redden under the intensity of June's soft brown eyes, and when he suddenly found himself the recipient of the woman's warm embrace, the words he had been searching for died quickly in his throat. "Err…what was I talking about?"

"You're sweeter than I ever thought possible!" June said happily, looking up at him with a kind, genuine smile, something that completely took Randy by surprise. In their entire history together, she had usually only given him a polite, glazed look whenever she spoke to him. This look was also accompanied with a smile that was so forced and cool and _indifferent_ that this new display of warmth was something completely foreign to him.

It startled him, mostly because he found himself liking this change and he wanted to have more of it.

Suddenly, he found a list being pushed into his hands, along with a book that was entitled, "How NOT To Feed Your Growing Baby." He blinked, glancing from the list, to June's smiling face, and then back to the list again. "Um, Junie? What's all this?"

"It's something that Dr. Funaki gave me!" the dark-haired woman replied cheerfully. "I was going to give this to Jeff and John, but since you're going to be watching the baby tomorrow, I want you to have this first! It mentions all of the things that Jamie needs to eat from this point on, as well as certain activities she needs to undergo throughout the day."

Randy stared at June in disbelief. "WHAT? Junie, I am not going to—"

"That's a great idea!" Jeff interrupted loudly, snatching the papers from Randy and running his eyes down the list's contents in a matter of seconds. "I always thought that Jamie should listen to some of my music anyway! She needs to be exposed to more artistic environments! I can do that when it's my turn to watch her…"

"Oh, Jeff, would you?" June exclaimed excitedly. "Thank you, love! I was wondering how to ask you about this…"

"Don't mention it, Junie. We all love you, after all…"

"Emphasis on the _love_ part," John added hastily, butting his way in between Jeff and June as the young mother and little baby laughed at the scene unfolding before them.

The only person who wasn't thrilled in the least was the Legend Killer. "What joy," Randy mumbled sarcastically, tossing the books and papers aside and wincing as the smell of a soiled diaper suddenly infiltrated the air, along with Jamie's irritated shrieks.

God, he had never hated children more than he did at that very moment.

And as he watched John and Jeff wrap their arms around the young mother's shoulders and waist, he decided that he hated June too.

* * *

**Yes, Randy will FINALLY spend some time with Jamie in the next chapter. I tried adding it to THIS chapter, but it didn't seem to mesh. (Bows head) I'm sorry.**

**On another note…yay! My IPod shuffle is now up! Those who are interested in the romance portion of the story should read it for their selected pairing…even if all I have up right now is a Jeff/June. I WILL address all the favorite pairings, though…Ehehehehe. :)**


	22. I Was Thinking of Strained Peas

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Well, I have no excuse. In between times of work, I just couldn't bring myself to write anything. Hence, a less than stunning chapter. Life has caught up to me, and…time is sparse, you know? But on a good note, this chapter is long, so it's my way of making up for lost time…

I am NOT someone who is studying to be in the medical field, so if what I've wrote down is inaccurate (and the chances of that are quite high…) then please do not sue me for misrepresenting the good doctors of our fair country. It wasn't intentional.

And yes, this chapter's title is intentional.

**Twenty-Two: I Was Thinking of Strained Peas**

_Mommy showed me the Star Wars movies during Christmas. Mommy says that she likes Luke Skywalker the bestest, but my favorite person in the movies will always be Anakin Skywalker. Or Darth Vader. Or whatever people know him as._

_You know why I like Anakin the bestest? Well, to be perfectly honest, he's the one I think about the most. He was the little kid who grew up as a poor slave boy. Then he was trained by this guy who thought that Anakin was supposed to be a HUGE hero when he grew up. And then he became a bad guy because his wife died, only to become a good guy again in the last fifteen minutes of the movie series._

_Sometimes I think that it wasn't his fault. The whole "becoming Darth Vader" thing, I mean. He certainly didn't __**ask**__ to become a creepy weird not nice person who has to wear the black suit all the time. But still…maybe all of the other Jedi warriors just expected something bad from him, so they looked real hard and found it. Maybe if the softer Qui-Gon Jinn hadn't died and had trained Anakin instead of the more stoic Obi-Wan, things might have been very different._

_Or maybe Anakin really blew it._

_Then again, sometimes I think he wasn't a good person at all. What kind of person kills children? Imagine if I had been in that temple. Would he have killed me? How dare he! I didn't even do anything to him, the jerk!_

_But I hate to think that, so I like to pretend that he __**had**__ to kill them, that the evil emperor would have killed __**him**__ if he didn't. That he really didn't have a choice. And because of that, he became his own victim._

…

_That's probably not the truth. I just like to think it._

* * *

Dressed in her scrubs with her hair tied back, June held Jamie in front of the mirror, carefully cleaning out the baby's mouth with a warm washcloth.

"Hold still, love!" June laughed heartily as she gently wiped Jamie's toothless pink gums. "Don't you know that you have to clean your mouth daily so that you don't get plaque or cavities? You have to clean the roof of the mouth…and the bottom…and the sides…"

The baby, on the other hand, was not at all pleased with her introduction to oral hygiene. _MOMMY! How am I supposed to get plaque or cavities if I don't have any teeth? Your logic is ridiculous! What's coming out of your mouth are LIES! LIES AND DECEIT! _Jamie spat out the washcloth and gave her mother a clearly unhappy glare, something that June quickly noticed.

"Oh, Jamie! Don't look at me like that! I'm only thinking of you…"

_No, you're sticking washcloths in my mouth and telling me LIES!_

Randy, who had been next to them while innocently brushing his own teeth, rinsed his mouth out with water and gave the mother-daughter pair an arrogant smirk. "Well Junie," he said as a matter-of-factly, "you can't really blame the kid for hating you right now. If my mother went and stuck a dirty old washcloth in my mouth, I'd hate her too."

"Just ignore Uncle Randy, sweetie," the young mother sang in a sing-song voice, cradling the tiny infant in her arms as Jamie nuzzled her face in the crook of June's neck. "He just doesn't understand anything about baby hygiene! He's always a mean old moopy head in the mornings!"

"Does the word 'moopy' even exist?" Randy asked dryly.

June flicked cold water at him in response (earning her a displeased shriek from the Legend Killer) before carrying the baby out of the bathroom. "Well, Jamie," June continued, completely ignoring the disgruntled Randy in the process, "wish me luck! Today's my second day of work! Mommy's going to spend lots of time in the Rehabilitation Center, so here's to making patients feel better!"

_Yeah! _Forgetting her earlier irritation, Jamie squealed and looked up at her mother with an excited grin. _Gooooo mommy! Make those people feel better at…whatever it is that you do! But give Daddy Randy a hug, will ya? He looks really unhappy…_

"Just give me the kid," Randy grunted, snatching the tiny infant from June's arms as the three of them made their way outside of the apartment building, where John and Jeff were already waiting in the car.

"Come on, Junie!" Jeff hollered from the backseat, while John held the front passenger door open for the young mother. "If we hurry, we can grab that early bird special at Dunkin Donuts!"

"'Kay!" Grinning as she bounded inside of John's car, she slammed the passenger's door shut before looking out the window at the nonplussed Randy and the fussing, whimpering Jamie.

_Mommy? Mommy, where are you going? ARE YOU LEAVING ME AGAIN? DON'T YOU DARE!_

"Be a good girl for Uncle Randy, okay sweetie?" June said soothingly, reaching a hand out to stroke Jamie's cheek. "Mommy will be back soon, I promise."

Jamie shrieked and grasped at her mother's hand in desperation. _That's what you said yesterday! Don't leave me here aloooooooone! Well, technically I won't be alone, but still! Daddy Randy's a noob at taking care of me! He doesn't know how to change my diaper! He doesn't know how to dress me the way I like it! And I betcha he won't have a clue on how to burp me properly after feeding me milky-milk!_

"Bye-bye, baby girl!" Jeff murmured softly, blowing the baby a kiss as Jamie began to hiccup in despair. "I love you…"

_If you loved me, you wouldn't leave me like this! You're a liar too, Daddy Jeff! I HATE YOU!_

John gave the baby a determined stare. "Don't you worry about a thing, Jamie," he declared firmly. "I'll be back soon, and then you won't have to be with this lunkhead any more than you have to."

"Go away, Cena!" Randy growled through gritted teeth, a muscle furiously working in his jaw as he tried his hardest not to strangle the young detective on the spot. "Go away before you miss work…or suffer a fatal accident due to your incurable stupidity."

"Fuck you, Orton, how about that?"

"JOHN! LANGUAGE!"

"Sorry Junie…"

Randy frowned as he watched the car leave the driveway, the vehicle disappearing into a wave of traffic as it rounded the corner. Before it completely disappeared from his sight, however, he could have sworn that he saw June turn in her seat and give him a smile and a parting wave.

…

Nah. It must have been his imagination.

Remembering how the dark-haired woman had snapped at Cena for the use of vulgar language, Randy suddenly found himself smirking. If nothing else, the way the larger, heavier, and definitely stronger detective folded in front of a small, lightweight woman like June was absolutely hilarious.

_He is so whipped, _the Legend Killer thought as he held the whimpering Jamie in his arms and headed back inside the apartment. _He's like a freakin' puppy, the way his tongue waggles out whenever she's around…_

"Aha! So it was you, man?"

Huh?

Randy whirled around at the sound of the voice and inwardly groaned when he found himself face-to-face with a young, Puerto Rican man who had a large mop of afro-like brown hair. "Carlito? What the hell do you want?"

"Settle down, Orton." Carlito held his hands up in a pacifying gesture (one of which was clutching at a half eaten apple, much to Randy's disdain). "I was just coming out to pick up the morning paper, and I saw you holding the little lady there." He grinned at Jamie who, despite her earlier tears, found herself giving the older man a small smile. "Hey, she doesn't look too good, man. She looks like she's about to cry. What's wrong with her?"

"Mind your own business," Randy snapped, pushing past the Puerto Rican in an attempt to get inside his apartment. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have unwanted babysitting duties to attend to…"

"So that kid really is yours then?"

Randy froze.

…what did he say?

WHAT DID HE SAY?

"I dunno, man…" Carlito scratched the back of his head. "Everyone in the apartment's really buzzing about it now. Some of the teenaged girls are even spewing hate stories about Mrs. Grisham because they think that you or Cena or Hardy fathered the baby."

The Legend Killer paled. Had it—had it been THAT obvious?

"But you know…now that I see you two together…" Carlito stared hard at Randy and Jamie, before he smirked and nodded his head. "There's no doubt in my mind anymore. You're the daddy of the little lady!"

"…"

"…"

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND?" Randy screamed, sending Carlito scrambling back a good ten feet while Jamie began to wail in fright. "Who—who the fuck are you calling a daddy? I am NOT this kid's father! I never was, never am, and never will be!"

"WAAAAAAAAH!" Jamie shrieked louder, rubbing her tiny fists against her eyes as the tears rolled down her face. _Daddy Randy, stop screaming! You're scaring me!_

Carlito audibly gulped, and desperately tried to calm the furious Legend Killer down. "H-hey man, don't lose it in front of the baby. That's not cool…"

"Fuck that!" Randy snapped, before storming inside his apartment and slamming the door shut in Carlito's face.

He was beyond furious. He couldn't believe this, nor could he even get his thoughts together. What was with Carlito anyway? And the rest of the apartment, for that matter? Jamie wasn't even his. She wasn't!

Why the hell were they even thinking things like that?

* * *

"_Are…are you serious, sir?"_

"_Yes, Mrs. Grisham. I…I know this wasn't the best time in the world to tell you, but…"_

"_So what do we do now? Should I leave, Dr. Batista?"_

"_W-what? NO! I don't want you to leave!"_

"_But I don't want you to get in trouble. You've been demoted enough as it is."_

"_I can handle Vickie."_

"_But sir…"_

"_All I want is for you to be careful from now on. Maybe…maybe you should go to the Rehabilitation department again today."_

"…_will they look for me there?"_

"_I don't think so. And if they do, Big Show will protect you."_

"_I see. Thank you, sir."_

"_I'm sorry for putting you through this, Mrs. Grisham…"_

"_It's okay. I forgive you. You're my boss after all, right? Ahahaha…"_

"…"

* * *

"Are you alright, Senora?" Rey asked worriedly, placing a hand on the young mother's shoulder as she looked over the files of one of the newest rehabilitation patients. "You're as pale as a ghost today…"

"Huh? OH! I-I'm fine!" June replied, laughing shakily as she gave the Hispanic doctor what she hoped was a calm smile. "I-I was just thinking of—of—strained peas!"

"…"

"…"

Rey blinked. "…strained peas?"

"Yes!" June nodded enthusiastically. "Strained peas! I-I was just thinking about how Jamie wouldn't eat them, so I was wondering if there might be a substitute for that food…one that she'll actually eat…"

"Oh. Okay then."

The Hispanic doctor was too caught up in his confusion to figure out any other explanation for June's strange behavior. Having known the woman for quite some time now, the idea of June worrying obsessively over her daughter's persnickety appetite seemed perfectly plausible.

The thought that she was worried over something else entirely never once occurred to him.

She tried to focus on the file, on the _patient_, but her mind kept returning to what Dave had told her that morning, not ten minutes after she had arrived to the Research Task Force office. That the owner of Guerrero Hospital was more than likely coming in to see her today. That if June didn't measure up to said owner's expectations…she would more than likely be fired on the spot.

Needless to say, this bit of news effectively ruined what had started out as a good morning for June Adrianne Grisham.

She had felt faint and weak after hearing the less-than-pleasant message, and had asked to spend the day in the Rehabilitation department with Dr. Mysterio again in an attempt to gather her thoughts. Dave had thankfully allowed her this, but even after two hours of giving physical therapy to two very grateful patients, June still felt unnerved.

The constant biting of her lower lip was all that was needed for a person to see her inner anguish.

_Dr. Batista…why on earth did you have to tell me that? If I wasn't qualified to be here, then why did you hire me? Why? …And who is the owner, anyway? You never even told me who the guy was! Oh, the humanity…_

She was still biting her lip when a woman in a wheelchair rolled into the room by a young, Hispanic man. At seeing the pair, Rey immediately tensed up and moved towards the exit, motioning for June to leave with him as well. But June, who was still lost in her own thoughts, missed Rey's warnings completely as she lifelessly flipped through the pages of the file.

Meanwhile, the woman and man were whispering quietly to one another. "Chavo, I don't see Big Show anywhere," the woman muttered quietly. "Maybe he stepped out?"

"He wouldn't be that stupid, Vickie," the young man, Chavo, whispered back. "I told him to set an appointment for you today."

Vickie. Huh. That name sounded familiar…

"I don't know," Vickie went on, her voice low and hushed. "He doesn't really listen to us anyway."

Chavo sighed. "Well, why don't you ask that girl where he is? The one over there? Hey you! Miss!"

June yelped at the sound of her name, and whirled around to face the pair as Chavo wheeled Vickie towards her. Blushing at being caught off guard, the young mother lowered her gaze apologetically and stammered, "I-I'm sorry! Um, Dr. Wight just left due to a family emergency…but he said that he'll be back in half an hour!"

"What?" Vickie stared at June in shock while Chavo gave her an angry glare. "How—how dare he? He knows that I need this session today! When he gets back, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"

"Hold on, Vickie," Chavo said suddenly, glaring around the whole Rehabilitation department in disgust. "Make sure the entire useless Rehabilitation staff pays for this! Big Show was in charge here and he let everything slip into disarray!"

Throughout all of this, the blood slowly drained out of June's face. _Oh my god, what have I done? I've single-handedly brought down an entire department in the span of five seconds! NO! I can't let this happen!_

"Ma'am," June said softly, forcing herself to stay calm in front of the clearly furious Vickie and Chavo as she tried her best not to run away screaming. "Please don't be upset with Dr. Wight. I—I can take over the rehabilitation session for him if—if you want."

"Huh?" Her anger dissipating, Vickie stared at the dark-haired woman before her in curiosity. "You'll take over for Dr. Wight?"

"Yes, ma'am, if that's alright with you…"

"That most certainly is NOT alright!" Chavo cut in rudely, staring at June with a look of deep suspicion. "I've been here lots of times, and I don't think that you and I have ever met before! How come I don't remember you being around here?"

"Well…" June flushed in embarrassment and lowered her head. "The truth is…I haven't been hired for very long."

"So in short, you're a new doctor with little experience, and yet you want to do complicated physical therapy on my aunt," Chavo finished bitingly. "Yes, that makes me feel _so_ much better!"

June felt herself wilting under his harsh, cold glare. _Well, Mr. Chavo, you don't have to bite my head off. I was just trying to help…_ However, she managed to take a deep, deep breath, and found the courage to continue speaking. "You are right, sir," June said in what she hoped was a calm, steady voice. "You are right in thinking that I might not be as experienced as Dr. Wight. More to the point, I have been out of practice for over nine months due to the birth of my baby girl."

Vickie's eyes lit up at the mention of June being a new mother, but Chavo immediately shrugged it off and snorted. "You being out of practice doesn't exactly calm my nerves down, you know," he retorted scathingly. "That kind of made it worse, actually…"

"Please let me finish," June said firmly, giving the Hispanic man a determined look. "Experience does not in any way factor into one's dedication to his or her patients. I promise, sir, that I will do my very best to help with Ms. Vickie's rehabilitation until Dr. Wight returns from his emergency. I promise I will do nothing volatile or dangerous that requires Dr. Wight's approval." June then gave Vickie a small smile, one that made the wheelchair-bound woman visibly relax.

Chavo, however, still wasn't convinced. "Listen. I don't mean to be insulting, but I think my aunt and I will just wait for Big Show, and—"

"Let her try it."

"Huh?" Both June and Chavo stared in amazement at Vickie, neither quite believing what they had just heard. "Vickie!" Chavo cried out in disbelief. "You can't seriously be willing to let this woman take over for Big Show! You heard her yourself—she's inexperienced!"

"What do we have to lose?" Vickie replied calmly. "My back is killing me, and if Wight isn't coming back for half an hour, then why shouldn't we give her a shot? Besides…" Here, Vickie's lips twisted into a bitter smile. "If she screws up, we can always fire her."

Chavo scratched his chin thoughtfully. "True…"

"…" None of this was making June feel any better. Still, she forced herself not to panic as she gave Vickie a shaky smile. "So, ma'am…what is your condition, exactly?"

"Spinal damage," Vickie replied shortly. "Also, I have severe chronic pains in both my upper and lower back. Wight usually starts things off with an ice massage. It's quick and easy to do…so do you think you can handle at least that much?"

"Yes ma'am!" June quickly rushed off to get a bag of ice wrapped in a towel while Chavo helped Vickie lie flat on her stomach on a small bed, placing a pillow under her hips to keep stress off of the lower back. When June returned, she hovered over the older woman and began to rub the wrapped ice carefully against the inflamed muscles with one hand, while pressing on the softer points of Vickie's back with the other.

"Ow…" Vickie winced when June's fingers hit a particularly sore spot. "That's the problem area. Can you apply some ice there?"

"Of course." The young mother reapplied the ice and began to massage in a circular motion, avoiding the bony portions of the spine as she felt the stiff, spasming muscles tense and then relax under her touch. "Does that feel better, Ms. Vickie?"

Vickie sighed as she felt the pain in her back lessen significantly. "Yes. Thank you…"

"There seems to be a lot of swelling," June observed, keeping her voice soft and low as she continued to massage the ice against the older woman's back. "Have you been in an accident recently?"

"Heh!" Sitting in a nearby chair, Chavo snorted loudly as he gave June a strained grimace. "Lady, you don't know half of the things my aunt has gone through, and you don't know half of the hell she had to suffer because of Mark Calaway …"

June looked up at the last statement, blinking in confusion. "Mark Calaway? Who's that?"

"He's a business rival of my fiancé," Vickie replied, frowning at the pain that shot up her back as she repositioned the pillow under her hips. "He's exceptionally powerful in the business world. Some even call him "The Undertaker" as a joke, because he supposedly has the ability to scare people to death."

"Oh my," June murmured.

"Adam had gotten into a little bit of trouble," Vickie went on, "and Mark went after him physically. I…I was with the two of them during their fight, and I…" The older woman paused for a moment, before her gaze became dark and downcast. "..I ended up taking several bad hits that were meant for Adam."

The dark-haired woman gasped, nearly dropping the ice bag in horror. "W-what? You took the hits for him?"

"Yes. I loved him enough to do that for him. That's why you saw me coming in with a wheelchair." Vickie's voice became low, quiet…almost vulnerable. The despair in the older woman's voice was so tangible that June felt it seep into the very core of her body, making her chest tighten as a strangely familiar sense of hurt crept into her heart.

She had felt this kind of hurt before.

"You know, ma'am" June said quietly, shifting the towel so that Vickie wouldn't suffer ice burns, "I can understand where you're coming from. I would have done anything for my Todd too."

"Todd?" Vickie looked up, giving the dark-haired woman a curious stare. "Is he your husband?"

"Yes. I mean…he was. He passed away several months ago."

"Oh…I'm sorry." Vickie reached up and patted one of June's cold hands. "I lost my first husband a few years ago too. I loved him so much, even if we did argue like a pair of crazy hyenas…"

"And I loved Todd more than life itself," June replied, giving Vickie a sad smile as she continued the ice therapy. "We can't help but love them. That's why we married them in the first place, right? Because they were our 'Special Someone.' Of course, that doesn't mean that there will never be others," June added quickly, remembering at the last moment that this woman now had a fiancé.

"True." A true, genuine smile was on Vickie's face now, and she tenderly fingered the diamond ring on her left hand. "I'll admit that I will never love anyone the way I loved Eddie…but…" The older woman blushed and let out a small laugh. "I can honestly picture spending the rest of my live with Adam! He just makes me feel so—so special! Right, Chavo?"

"Uh-huh." Chavo grinned at his aunt's sudden uplift in mood. "Remember Valentine's Day? He practically flooded your office with roses and candy!"

June's jaw dropped. "Really? Gosh…this Adam must be quite the romantic, Ms. Vickie!"

"He is! Oh, you have to meet him. He's such a sweetheart! But…" Vickie slowly sat up, rubbing her back as she gave June a curious look. "You know, I never caught your name. That was rude of me, and I apologize."

"It's okay!" June replied cheerfully. "My name is—"

"Mrs. Grisham!"

June, Vickie, and Chavo immediately looked up at the loud, agitated voice, and June immediately saw Vickie and Chavo's faces harden at the sight of Dave Batista coming into the room. This was more than enough to put the young mother on high alert, but when she saw Dave's face harden as well, she found herself undeniably confused and frightened.

_W-what's going on? What's with this tense and pregnant silence?_

Unfortunately, the tension in the room only increased when a blond man sauntered into the room from behind Dave, along with two _other_ blond men who had similar hairstyles and attires to the first. If June hadn't been watching them from a close distance, she would have sworn that they were triplets.

"Victoria!" the first blond man greeted exuberantly, pushing June aside as he swept Vickie into his arms and twirled her around. "You look as radiant as ever!"

"Um, sir?" June whispered quietly as she saw Vickie's face contort slightly (the ice therapy treatment hadn't been completed, after all). "Please refrain from putting Ms. Vickie through physically strenuous activity! I've just checked her, and her muscles are still a bit inflamed—"

"Oh, yes!" The man set Vickie down and glanced at June with gleaming eyes, causing the dark-haired woman to cringe under his too bright stare. "You're the new employee, aren't you? Hi there!"

June blinked. Had she met this man before? "Um…hi. Do I know you, sir?"

"No, but you should!" The man laughed as he took June's hand and kissed it, much to the chagrin of Vickie and Dave, who were both watching all of this with wary eyes. "My real name is Adam Copeland, but please call me Edge!"

"Oh. Hi, Edge. Wait a minute…E-Edge?"

Yanking her hand away from Edge's, June felt her jaw hit the floor in shock. Shock and pure disbelief. This man was the one Dave and Rey continuously warned her about, the one who had been responsible for demoting the two of them to a near worthless department that had little to do with medicine in general.

And this man…he was the one that Ms. Vickie was so dead set on marrying? This was the sweetheart she was so madly in love with? Oh lord, she felt faint…

"Well Vickie," Edge said, turning to the older woman with a cocky grin, "I see that you've already met Batista's new co-worker. No need for any further introductions then, right?"

"W-what?" Vickie's jaw dropped, and she stared at June in surprise. "S-she's the one you were talking about? This nice, sweet…"

But before Vickie could finish, Dave stepped forward and pulled the confused June behind him, shielding the young mother from view.

"Look Vickie," Dave said gravely, as Rey snuck in quietly from behind and pulled June towards the exit. "No matter what Edge has said to you, I defend my judgment on hiring Mrs. Grisham. You can't fire her!"

Edge chuckled and gave Vickie a knowing stare. "See, Vickie? Didn't I tell you that he'd get all defensive on us? It probably means that _she_—" he pointed at June, who was almost out of the door with Rey "—must be more horrid at her job than I thought."

"W-what?" June stopped in her tracks, throwing a shocked and insulted look in Edge's direction despite Rey's pleas for her to leave the room. Pulling her arm out of the Hispanic doctor's grasp, June walked up towards Edge and gave him an infuriated glare. "Excuse me, sir? H-how can you even make that assumption about me? Are you a doctor? Are you qualified to measure the medicinal skills of others?"

"Mrs. Grisham…" Dave took her by the hand and tried to pull her away from Edge. "Please, just let me handle this…"

"Hold on, Dr. Batista!" June replied curtly, pulling her hand out of Dave's while not once breaking her eye contact with the blond man in front of her. "Mr. Copeland, why do you think that I'm horrid at my job? The only ones who can decide that are my patients and my bosses. You are not a patient, as I remember everyone I treat, and I don't think you're my boss either! Unless your name is David Michael Bautista, you have no right to—to judge my skills in any way!"

Silence.

At that moment, a strange, almost unreadable look came over Edge's face. Mixtures of emotions flashed through his face all at once, blurring by so quickly that had June blinked, she would have missed it completely. But there was one and only one look that she recognized, and it was apparent only in his eyes.

It was rage.

She froze.

_Oh my god, why did I speak out like that? What was I thinking? This is—this is worse than arguing with Randy…_

But as quickly as it appeared, the look vanished from his face, replaced once again by a bright faux cheeriness and an arrogant, cocky smile. "Yes," he said cordially, although there was an underlying hint of malice in his voice now. "Yes, I suppose you're right, Mrs. Grisham! I am _not_ one of your patients, nor am I your boss. However…" Edge gave her a cruel smile. "Vickie Guerrero…my lovely _fiancée_…just so happens to be Batista's boss. And guess what!" He flashed a cold grin at her face. "By proxy, that means that she's your boss as well!"

"…"

"…"

_Shit._

All of the feeling completely dissipated from her legs, and June would have collapsed had Dave and Rey not been there to catch her. "Mrs. Grisham!" Dave cried, pulling her to her feet as he held her tightly to his chest. "Mrs. Grisham, are you alright?"

"Let me get you some water, Senora!" Rey said quickly, turning and leaving the room with an empty paper cup in hand.

"I…I…" A weak, croaking voice floated past June's lips, a voice she didn't recognize as her own. "I…I'm okay…oh my god…" Her mouth suddenly felt slick, and a bitter, vile taste slowly built up in the back of her throat. "I—I think I'm going to throw up…"

"Adam, please!" Vickie grabbed onto Edge's arm and pulled him away from the young mother. "Let it go! I don't think she knew who you were, so I'm sure she didn't mean any of that!"

"W-what?" The blond Canadian stared at Vickie in disbelief. "Are you—are you _siding_ with this woman?"

Vickie bit her lip. "Adam, it's not like that. But it's just…I think that you're being too harsh on her!"

At this, both Edge and Dave stared at Vickie in sheer shock, while Chavo and June watched uncomfortably and helplessly from within the sidelines (or in June's case, from within Dave's strangely unrelenting hold). "V-Vickie," Edge said slowly. "What are you saying? You can't seriously think this woman's qualified to work under you…do you?"

"She…" Vickie stared at the shaking, frightened June, before she let out a small sigh. "She's actually not that bad, Adam. I came for my physical therapy, but Big Show wasn't here. However…" The older woman gave June a small smile. "She was nice enough to offer me some ice therapy to hold me over until Big Show came back. And she did a good job of it too."

Edge's mouth hung open. "But—but Vickie! You can't be—"

"Furthermore," Vickie went on, cutting off her fiancé before he could speak further, "she's a new mother. She just had her baby! Obviously she needs a job and she's not too bad at therapy massages…so why _not_ let her stay?"

"But—but—" Edge tried to protest, but the firm look on Vickie's face dissolved any willpower he had to continue his argument.

"I appreciate your concern for the quality of my staff," Vickie said quietly, taking Edge's hand in her own and giving it a comforting squeeze. "But I think June Grisham is okay. We can trust her…provided that she continues to give me ice treatments for my back."

Vickie stared at June so expectantly that the young mother couldn't find the will to disagree, even though it was clear from Dave's face that he didn't want her to. "O-of course I will, Ms. Vickie!" June replied shakily. "I'll…I'll do everything I can to improve your condition, with or without the ice treatments! Aha…ha…ha…"

She tried and failed to smile as an ugly look flashed across Edge's features. _Oh dear, _she thought in a mixture of sadness and apprehension. _I've made a new enemy…_

"Wonderful." Vickie, who did not see Edge's look of rage, turned to Chavo (who was quite confused with all that had happened) and motioned for him to bring in her wheelchair. "Well, June," Vickie said calmly as Chavo helped her sit down on the chair, "I enjoyed today's session. We should set another appointment. We can talk some more then."

"Uh…huh." June could only nod limply as Chavo wheeled Vickie out of the room, with Edge and the two blond men following behind them. (June had completely forgotten about the other blond men, and thought for a moment that she had been seeing triple.) But before he left the room completely, Edge looked back at her and gave her a wicked grin, one that sent chills down her spine as her legs buckled out from under her in terror.

Luckily, she once again did not fall thanks to Dave, who had been quietly holding her the entire time.

"…"

"…"

"Dr. Batista?"

"Yes, Mrs. Grisham?"

"…you can let go of me now."

"Oh. Right." Coughing in embarrassment, Dave reluctantly released the young mother as she tottered away, hobbling slightly as she sat down on a nearby chair. Grunting as she pulled her knees towards her, June gingerly reached down and cautiously massaged her left knee.

Much to her dismay, it was throbbing and swollen.

"It's happening again, isn't it?" Dave bent down and gently placed his hand over hers, the one that was touching her bad knee. "Your legs…they're swelling again, aren't they?"

"Um, no…" June replied pathetically, blushing when she felt his fingers lace with hers.

Dave chuckled, looking into her eyes as he gave her a small smirk. "Don't you lie to me, Mrs. Grisham. I can see right through you."

"Eeep…"

As the swelling in her leg slowly ebbed away, June briefly found herself wondering if she could ever find the will to lie even once to this man. Just once. Of course, she knew that she _couldn't_ do that, but still…

Suddenly, Dave stood up and cleared his throat loudly, before he helped June to her feet and gave her an embarrassed grin. "So, Mrs. Grisham…I would be honored if you joined me for lunch."

"For lunch?" June blinked, before looking down at her watch. "Is—is it noon already?"

"Yes. There's this nice little restaurant that just opened up near here. I think you'll like it…"

"What about me, homes?" Rey asked, bursting into the room with a cup of water in his hand and a look of hurt on his face as he stared at the Animal with large, puppy dog eyes. "I'm hungry too!"

"Well, Mrs. Grisham?" Dave went on, promptly ignoring the Hispanic doctor. "What do you say? Lunch is on me, I promise…" He extended his arm for her to take, his dark eyes staring hopefully into hers.

Turning her head downwards to hide her blush, June smiled shyly as she took his offered arm. "Who am I to refuse?" she replied softly. "I would be honored to dine with you, Dr. Batista…"

_Besides, _she thought privately as Dave escorted her out, _it's not like it's a—a date or anything. Todd, this is okay, right? I still love only you…you know that, right?_

"HEY! Don't forget me!" Rey added loudly, still holding the young mother's water as he chased after the June and Dave. "I'm still a part of this team too, you know! …Dave? Senora? HEEEEEEEY!"

* * *

"Alright, Jamie. Open your mouth."

Randy frowned as the baby clamped her lips shut, refusing for the tenth time to allow him to feed her the spoonful of strained peas. His lips thinning in frustration, he tried to force the food past her lips, only to have Jamie scream in anger and spit the food right back at his face…and shirt…and pants.

"AGH!" The Legend Killer screeched in horror as he furiously wiped the food off of his face and expensive clothing. "How—how _dare _you? Do you know how much my clothes cost, kid?"

"Gack!" Jamie shrieked, shaking a tiny fist in the air at her possible father in agitation. _Daddy Randy, how dare YOU? Do you know how yucky that food is? I hate strained peas! Give me milky-milk! I want mommy's milky-milk!_

"Goddamn it," Randy swore, wiping the last of the peas from his face as he glared angrily at the equally angry little baby. "Now I know for sure. Now I knowfor_ sure_ that you're not mine. No kid of mine could ever be so—so arrogant and stubborn! I don't care if you _are _Junie's baby…you're just a brat! You don't deserve a woman like her for your mommy!"

_BRAT? _Jamie's tiny mouth dropped open. _You…you meanie head! How could you call me that? You're—you're just a big poophead who always makes mommy cry! You don't deserve her either!_

Randy ran a hand over his face, forcing himself to calm down. "Heh. You know what, kid? Forget it. There's no point in talking to you. You probably don't understand a word I'm saying, anyway."

_WHAT? That is soooooo not true! I can understand everything you're saying, Daddy Randy!_

"Besides, you're not even all that smart. I mean, look at you. You're covered with strained pea stains. You can't even eat properly…" Randy picked up the spoon and flicked it mockingly at Jamie's face, grinning when the baby attempted to swipe it away in fury.

_That's not fair, Daddy Randy! Your logic of baby-nutrition is worse than mommy's logic of oral hygiene! Just how exactly am I supposed to eat? I don't know how to use a fork and spoon yet! You…you doo-doo brain!_

"Hey!" Randy yelped, covering his face as Jamie grabbed a handful of strained peas and threw it at the Legend Killer's face. "H-HEY! Knock it off, goddamn it!"

"GACK!" _Then clean me up! I don't like being covered with icky, sticky foodstuffs!_

Randy growled quietly as he wiped the peas off of his face for the second time, while the baby shrieked and twisted around angrily in her highchair. "Well, nice going, kid," he grumbled. "Now I have to shower _and _give you a bath. Damn it, I'm not cut out for this father stuff…"

Jamie rolled her eyes. _You can say that again, Daddy Randy._

"Well, come on, kid." Picking up the tiny infant from the highchair, Randy carried the unhappy Jamie into the bathroom and undressed her before setting her down into the empty, baby-sized bathtub. But instead of filling the tub with water, Randy instead stepped into the larger, adult-sized bathtub and turned on the shower, ridding himself of his own pea-stained clothing before picking Jamie up once again and carrying her into the shower with him.

_Woah!_ The little baby squeaked in surprise as she felt the rushing droplets of warm water pitter-patter against her skin. Staring up at the Legend Killer with large, wide brown eyes, Jamie slapped her tiny hands against his slippery wet chest, completely forgetting about her earlier anger. _Daddy Randy, Daddy Randy! It's raining inside the house! There's rain falling inside the house! This is amazing!_

In light of the baby's sudden change in attitude, Randy found himself smiling as he stood under the showerhead, letting the water run down both his and Jamie's backs. "Here's your introduction to your first shower, kid," he said in a deep, soothing voice, holding Jamie carefully in one hand while grabbing the baby shampoo with the other. Squirting the soap onto Jamie's head, his smile deepened when the tiny infant began to giggle. "You like this girly smelling stuff, kid? Well, enjoy it. I'm not going to do this for you all the time, okay?"

_Of course you will. Because you luuuuuuve me so much!_

The Legend Killer blinked when he saw Jamie smiling up at him sweetly, and for the first time since watching her, Randy suddenly felt nervous. "Hey…what're you doing? Stop that! Stop…stop _smiling_ at me like that!"

_Why? You know you love it, Daddy Randy!_

"Nnngh…" Randy looked away, scowling as Jamie laughed and wrapped her little arms around his neck in a hug. "Lousy no-good…you got your demonic little charms from that mother of yours, didn't you? There's no way you could have gotten that smile from Cena or Hardy or…or…"

He faltered off. He didn't have the conviction to involve himself in the matter of Jamie's dubious paternity.

After a few more minutes under the warm water, Randy turned the shower off and stepped out of the tub, wrapping a towel around Jamie and himself before heading into June's room. Laying the tiny infant on the bed, he hovered over Jamie and began to dry her body from head to toe, smiling periodically as Jamie cooed and tried to touch his face with her small hands.

"Come on, now…hold still." He gently began toweling her downy fine hair. "I can't dress you if you're still soaking wet! You'll catch a cold, and then that idiot Cena will probably get some guy named Big Bubba to ass-rape me in revenge."

_Huh? _Jamie blinked up curiously at her possible father._ Daddy Randy, what does…ashy-grape mean? TELL MEEEEEE!_

But he didn't say anything else. Silently, Randy finished drying the baby off and was slipping her into a neat, comfortable white dress when his cell phone suddenly went off. Randy checked the caller ID, and his eyes widened in pleasant surprise when he saw that it was from Sam.

"Alright! You see this, kid?" Randy held the phone in front of a confused Jamie's face, grinning when the baby merely gurgled in response. "This is my girlfriend Sam calling me! I tell you, no woman can resist the Orton charm…"

_W-what? _Jamie stared at the Legend Killer in complete horror. _What do you mean, GIRLFRIEND? My mommy is the only woman you and Daddy Jeff and Daddy John should be caring about! How dare you have a girlfriend on the side, you philandering DOG!_

Unaware of the increasingly agitated Jamie who was throwing death glares in his direction; Randy flipped the phone open and gave the woman on the other end his best drawl. "Hey, baby."

"Don't 'Hey, baby' me, you jerk," Sam's irritated voice snapped from the other end. "I'm still mad at you, so no pet names allowed!"

"Oh, come on!" Randy pleaded, tossing the towel onto the bed (and simultaneously covering Jamie in the process, infuriating the baby further). "You know I love you…" _And your connection to Hunter and Vince, _he added silently in his mind.

"Don't you lie to me! I saw you with that woman and child! You—you cheating son-of-a-bitch!"

Randy inwardly groaned. "Sam, how many times do I have to tell you? That bitch and her child have nothing to do with me! I'm not the father of that child, and I've never done _anything _intimate with—with whoever that woman was! I swear it! If I was in front of you right now, I would be on my fucking _knees_! Please believe me!"

Silence. Then, there was a hesitant intake of breath from Sam. "Do you…do you really mean it, Randy? That woman and baby have nothing to do with you, right?"

"Of course!" he replied. _Well, they have no __**proven**__ connections to me, anyway. There's nothing that proves I'm the father of that baby… _"So…you forgive me, right Sam?"

"…maybe. I'm still thinking about it." Sam laughed cutely from the other end, and Randy grinned in victory. Sam was all his again…hopefully for good, this time. "Anyway Randy, I just called to say that Vince is having another golf day sometime later this week. Hunter and Stephanie want you to drop by. Vince too, now that I think about it."

"Really?" The Legend Killer's grin widened so much that he was starting to resemble the Cheshire Cat. Vince and Hunter _both _wanted him to be there? Well, he didn't doubt the real reason why Hunter wanted him there. The man probably wanted to poke fun at him for the supposed "cheating" incident he had with Sam. But Vince? Vince was another matter altogether.

This was the break he had been waiting for…

"I'll be there, Sam," he said smoothly. "You can count on it."

"Good! Oh, and Randy?"

"Yes?"

"Bring your own golf clubs next time. It's more fashionable that way."

"…oh." Randy resisted the urge to wince as Sam hung up on him.

Great. Now he had to spend money for equipment on a sport he hated. Just great.

From her position on the bed, Jamie stuck her tongue out at her possible father. _It's your own fault, Daddy Randy. You dug your own grave, you cheater cheater pumpkin eater!_

* * *

_He'll come around._

Trish watched Jeff out of the corner of her eye, glaring at the rainbow-haired artist as he bent over in his chair, drawing quickly in his sketchpad.

_He'll come around._

It had been too long since he had last touched her. Too long since they had had one of their little rendezvous, too long since they had last sneaked around to sate their sexual appetites while her husband was away. While she knew that she could have her pick of any man she wanted, the only one who kept her interested (besides her wimp of a husband) was Jeff. This had been one of the reasons why she hadn't fired his ass every time he brought in a drawing late.

But strangely, ever since she had shown up at his apartment and had encountered that plain-looking woman and child, Jeff had slowly become more detached from her, had slowly become more focused on getting his work done and leaving as quickly as possible instead of spending time with her.

_Her_. She was his goddamn boss, and he was practically avoiding her.

_He—will—come—AROUND!_

She saw him get up from his chair and she quickly lowered her gaze, pretending to review the artwork submitted by another artist as Jeff came closer and closer to her desk. He stopped in front of her, strong and silent, with his work in hand.

She held her breath in expectation.

Without even looking at Trish, Jeff dropped his drawings on her desk without a word, and headed towards the exit of the building.

…

…

…what the hell?

What the hell was _that_?

Furious and enraged, Trish stood up from her desk, half intending to chase after him when a crowd of interns suddenly crowded around her, all squealing and begging for her to review their work. After snapping at them to get away from her, she finally managed to slip past the interns, looking around wildly for Jeff…

…who was, by this time, out the door and far away from the building.

"AAAARRRRGGH!" Shrieking in anger, she walked back to her desk and snatched up his drawings, crumpling them in her fists and ripping them apart.

So, he wanted to ignore her? He wanted nothing more to do with her? Fine! Then she would make sure that he felt as much pain as she did in whatever way possible!

She would make sure that he regretted breaking her heart.

Ripping up the last of his works, she brutally threw the once beautiful drawings into the trash and spat on them.

* * *

"Damn golf clubs, damn country club, damn Vince and his stupid liking for boring old sports…"

Grabbing a six-pack of beer in the neighborhood's "Everything and Anything Supermarket", Randy dropped the alcohol into his shopping basket, pausing to check on Jamie, who was sitting next to him quietly in her red stroller. He stopped when he saw that the tiny infant had a large, plastic wrapped lollipop stuck in her toothless mouth, and the Legend Killer frowned as he extracted the candy from her small hands.

"Nooooo, Jamie," he scolded lightly as he put the saliva coated, plastic covered candy back onto the shelves. "We already have candy at home. Besides, the one you were holding tastes bad and is really expensive." He looked back at the price tag, and paled. "Really, _really_ expensive…"

"Gack!" Jamie waved her fists angrily at Randy. _No! I want my candy! Give me back my candy, Daddy Randy!_

Pushing her along, Randy went through the market as his eyes browsed the shelves and merchandise…stopping when a certain item caught his eye in front of the market's sports section.

"Golf clubs!" The Legend Killer set down his basket and left the stroller on the side as he checked the available selections of clubs. "Damn, these are way cheaper than what Sam wanted me to buy…and what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right? Hehehehe…"

Meanwhile, another couple had left their stroller next to Randy's, a stroller that was also red and looked completely identical to the stroller Jamie was in. This couple, Shawn and Rebecca Michaels, left their newborn baby next to Jamie as they checked the new selections of television screens, and paid no attention to Randy as he finally sighed and walked away from the clubs.

"Even though they're cheaper," he muttered to himself, "I still don't want to buy them. I'm just not a golf guy…"

So lost was the Legend Killer in his thoughts that he didn't realize there were two identical red strollers standing side-by-side. So lost was the Legend Killer in his thoughts that, when he grabbed the nearest red stroller and pushed it towards the baby-related aisles, he didn't realize that he had grabbed the wrong stroller entirely.

Jamie watched Randy go with the other baby, whimpering in fear as her eyes welled up in tears. _D-Daddy Randy! W-where are you going? I'm over here! Why are you taking that other baby? HAVE YOU REPLACED ME? HOW COULD YOU? EEEEEEEEK! _The small baby froze when she felt—and saw—Shawn and Rebecca Michaels push her stroller away from Randy. _D-DADDY RANDY! HEEEEEEEELP!_

But he didn't hear her. Instead, he went straight to the baby formula section and began to look over the different brands. "So Jamie," he asked, still not realizing that the snoozing baby in the stroller was _not_ his possible daughter, "what brand of formula do you like? I sort of forgot which one didn't make you puke."

There was no answer.

Randy blinked. This was more than a little odd—Jamie was never a quiet baby. "Kid? What's the matter?" He bent down and peered at the baby's face…only to choke and stagger backwards, crashing against the shelves as he slid to the floor in shock. "Who—who—" The words came out in fractures as one of his fingers shook a millimeter away from the sleeping baby's face. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

The strange baby snored, not answering Randy's question in the slightest.

"J-JAMIE!" Dropping the shopping basket, Randy grabbed the stroller and began to run around wildly, screaming Jamie's name at the top of his lungs. "JAMIE! JAMIE, WHERE ARE YOU?"

His eyes spotted a couple pushing a red stroller, and he called out for them to stop, ignoring their bewildered looks as he took a look at the stroller's occupant…and was met with yet another strange baby who _wasn't_ Jamie.

"Shit!" He looked around again, and suddenly it seemed as if strollers were _everywhere_, flooding every corner, occupying every nook and cranny in the market. There was a suspicious looking woman pushing a black stroller next to him, and there was a shady looking man lifting a green stroller over the steps. When had there been so many people pushing strollers, anyway? He couldn't remember.

Strollers, strollers, strollers…there were so many, and yet he couldn't seem to pick out which one Jamie was in.

"Oh my fucking god…" The Legend Killer leaned against the wall for support, feeling faint as his knees buckled out form under him. "Oh my fucking god. I lost Jamie. Junie's gonna kill me…she'll never speak to me again! Oh my fucking god…JAMIE! EXCUSE ME, BUT DOES SOMEONE HAVE THE WRONG CHILD? JAMIE! JAMIE, PLEASE ANSWER ME! I DON'T WANT YOUR MOTHER TO HATE ME, SO PLEASE ANSWER ME!"

As Randy screamed and screamed and screamed, Shawn and Rebecca stared at the seemingly insane young man from the cash register, Rebecca covering her mouth in shock as Shawn shook his head in disgust.

"What kind of irresponsible father loses his kid like that?" Shawn grumbled, before bending down to make a funny face at his child. "Isn't that right, my sweet little—huh?" He blinked as he lifted up a quietly sobbing, hiccuping Jamie. "…"

"…"

"…who are you?"

Jamie sniffled. _I was gonna ask you the same thing, mister! I WANT DADDY RANDY!_

"Oh geez…HEY!" Shawn turned towards Randy, who was now running up and down the aisles in a clear panic. "Hey! Excuse me, but do you have the wrong baby?"

"What?" Randy dragged the stroller towards Shawn and left it in front of an overjoyed Rebecca as he snatched Jamie from Shawn's arms. "Oh god," he whispered, clutching tightly to the crying baby as Shawn and Rebecca lifted their own child and peppered the infant with hugs and kisses (even though, amazingly, the child was still asleep). "Oh god, Jamie. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

Jamie sniffled. _You better be, Daddy Randy! Do you know how scared I was? You owe me! Buy me that lollipop I wanted earlier and I MIGHT forgive you!_

"I'm so sorry, Jamie," Randy went on, still holding Jamie to his body as if his life depended on it. "By god, Daddy's so—"

He froze.

No.

He…he hadn't just called himself Jamie's father, did he?

…

…

He quickly left the store, not even bothering to buy any merchandise.

* * *

Back at the apartment, Randy stood in front of the door with Jamie in his arms. The baby was suckling at a bottle of milk as she looked up at her possible father, who in turn was staring up heatedly at the clock that hung over the apartment door.

At the moment, the clock read _7:15 PM_.

_Daddy Randy? What's wrong? I forgave you for the mistake you made earlier…you even let me eat mashed bananas for dinner! So what's up?_

"He's late," Randy snarled to himself, still pissed off about his earlier lapse in emotion. John, who had promised the Legend Killer that he was going to come home at six o'clock sharp…was an hour and fifteen minutes late. That was not good, at least not in the mind of Randal Keith Orton. He was starting to grow _soft _around Jamie, and if _that _happened, god only knew how he would start acting around June.

No. The less time he spent around Jamie and June, the better.

He watched with a twitching eye as the seconds passed by in silence.

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

John rushed through the door, huffing and puffing as he suddenly found himself the recipient of one of Randy's bitter, hateful glares. "Um…hi?" the young detective greeted pathetically, waving a hand weakly at Randy and Jamie. Only Jamie squealed and held her arms out for him, expecting a hug.

At first, Randy said nothing. Then, in one swift motion, he stomped his way towards John and got right into his face, their noses only inches apart as the Legend Killer breathed angrily down the young detective's neck. John yelped and moved back, only to have his back hit a wall.

"One hour…fifteen minutes," Randy hissed, his icy blue eyes never once moving away from John's.

"W-what?" the young detective stammered, unsure of why Randy was so upset. Sure, he was a little late, but…

"One hour…fifteen minutes!" Randy yelled, almost foaming at the mouth as John (and subsequently, Jamie) cowered under his stare. "You have to watch the kid…for an extra hour…and fifteen minutes."

"…"

"…"

"…okay," John said slowly, raising his hands up in the air as a pacifying gesture. "But…can I wash first? Today's crime scene was sort of grimy."

"…"

"…"

"…fine."

John let out a sigh of relief, before dashing towards the bathroom and shutting the door. Randy watched him go, his eye twitching even further as his gaze returned to the clock.

**Three minutes, twenty-five seconds later…**

John came out of the bathroom, his body clean and his clothes changed. But Randy, who was in an even worse mood than before, gave John the darkest glare he had. When his eyes locked with John's, the young detective could have sworn that a bit of his soul had died.

"One hour…eighteen minutes…and twenty-five seconds," he growled, shoving Jamie into John's arms. "You have to watch the kid…for an extra hour…eighteen minutes…and twenty-five seconds."

"…okay…" John held Jamie close to his chest as Randy spun on his heels and stomped off, grumbling loudly about babies and unwanted pressures of fatherhood. The young detective and the tiny infant exchanged glances with one another as the Legend Killer went into his room and slammed the door shut behind him. "What's his problem, Jamie?"

And here, Jamie could only shrug. _I have no idea, Daddy John. I have no idea._

* * *

**I'm aware that some of you are skipping over the hospital scenes. That makes me a sad panda! I'm kidding, but…still, it's disheartening.**


	23. Honey, Are They Gay?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: Jamie's intro was inspired by a character from the Phoenix Wright games. And this is supposed to be a somewhat funny chapter, so no shooting the poor, miserable writer.

**Twenty-Three: Honey, Are They Gay?  
**

_SHH! SILENCE!_

…

_Hee hee hee. Now I see. It's all becoming clear. The truth has been elegantly revealed to me! You are all…dedicated readers and devoted fans of my three daddies! Am I wrong?_

_Haha, I'm just pulling your legs. Obviously, you're reading this story because of me, right? You're all here for Jamie Grisham-Orton-Hardy-Cena, the smartest, most perfectest gal in the whole wide world!_

…

_OY! I do __**not**__ have a big ego! I'll tell Daddy Jeff to give you a Swanton Bomb if you don't stop saying that!_

_But there is something very important about this chapter of my life. As you can see, last chapter, I was still a newborn baby. But now, there's a time skip to the future…of about eleven months, to be exact! YAY, FUTURE!_

_Why is there a time skip, you ask? Because I said so, that's why! Take it from me, those eleven months were boring! Do you really want to go through repetitive accounts of nothingness and shmuck? Of me constantly pooping while my daddies fumble around with trying to take care of me and my mommy? _

…

_No? _

_Heh, I thought not. _

* * *

Jeff and John, both dressed in identical dark red tee-shirts, pushed Jamie through the park in her little red stroller as they stopped periodically to let the tiny infant take in the scenery and blooming flowers.

"Look, Jamie!" Jeff said in a sing-song voice as he pulled out small daffodil from the ground. "See this? See the pretty yellow flower? This is a daffy-dill. Can you say 'daffy-dill' for me? Hmm…?"

Jamie, who had now grown into a slightly larger baby of a little over eleven months, gave the rainbow-haired artist a blank, plush-like stare.

"Say it, Jamie! Pretty-please?"

"…"

"…"

"Gack," Jamie said simply, still unable to form any coherent words in her mouth as she snatched the flower from Jeff's hand.

"Come on, Jamie!" Next to Jeff, John watched the small baby hopelessly as she pulled the yellow petals from the stem one by one. "Come on, baby girl! I want you to say a word! Say 'Daddy,' for me. Please? Say 'Daddy' for me…"

"Gack," Jamie repeated, looking quite proud of herself as she scattered the flower petals all over John's head. _Look, Daddy John! I might not be able to speak yet, but I made lots of pretty yellow stuffs! I demand that you praise me for this!_

"Let it go, Cena," Jeff said quietly, sighing as he resumed pushing the red stroller. "It ain't good to force Jamie to develop her verbal skills too early. She's still got a little over a year to meet the baby standards, don't she? Most babies start talking before they're two, anyway."

"My little girl," the young detective retorted, "is _not_ like most babies. My little girl is better than the whole lot of them! She's got the word 'genius' written all over her face! Right, Jamie?"

The baby, who could have cared less about their conversation, began sucking on her thumb in boredom.

Jeff sighed as the young detective's face fell at Jamie's silence. "Just shut it, Cena," the rainbow-haired artist muttered, before stopping next to a bench and taking a seat, pulling the stroller so that Jamie was facing him. John took a seat next to him, still pouting childishly as the rainbow-haired artist took Jamie out of her stroller and began to rock her gently in his arms.

A young couple with a child of their own sat on the same bench just a few feet away from them. The father was bent over the baby boy, making funny faces and kissing noises while the mother stared at Jeff and John curiously. Jeff caught her staring, and sent a kind smile in her direction.

"Congratulations," he said politely, just as the father pressed a kiss against the baby boy's forehead.

"Thank you," the mother replied with a smile, although her smile was somewhat nervous and her voice was somewhat shaky as she saw John try to take Jamie out of the rainbow-haired artist's arms.

"So…" Jeff made a gesture towards the couple's own baby. "How old is he? My little girl is almost twelve months."

"Oh. Um, my boy is about thirteen months…" The mother faltered off when she saw John lean towards Jeff.

"You know, Hardy," the young detective whispered audibly into Jeff's ear, "she says that her kid is thirteen months, but our Jamie is a whole lot bigger. And her features are definitely prettier and softer."

"Definitely," Jeff whispered back, completely unaware that he and John were receiving strange stares from the mother. "But what do you expect, man? Jamie's our little girl! She's the prettiest little princess in the whole wide world…"

"And look at that baby's eyes," John commented quietly, his body now so close to Jeff's that even the father was starting to give them weird looks. "Our Jamie's eyes are so round and big and sparkly…but what's wrong with _that _baby? He looks like an elf!"

"You're absolutely right for once, Cena…"

Meanwhile, the young couple exchanged both insulted and shocked glances. "_Our _Jamie?" the father mouthed silently to the mother. "_Our _Jamie? Honey, are those—are those two men a _gay _couple?"

"I don't know," the mother mouthed back. "I—I think they are…"

"Uh-oh!" At Jamie's sudden whimpering, John lifted the little baby out of Jeff's arms and felt her diaper. "Does someone have a wet tushie? Aw, who's got a wet tushie…?"

Jamie rolled her eyes. _I dunno, Daddy John. I give up._

"Tushie, tushie, tushie, tushie…OH! Wait a minute!" The young detective peeked into Jamie's diaper with a silly grin. "Looks like I was wrong! She went poopy instead, Hardy!"

"Cena, I'm not blind, and I can smell all that from here, thank you very much. Just change her goddamn diaper…"

"Poopy, poopy, poopy, poopy…"

_Oh yeah. _The tiny infant blinked at the young detective in confusion. _He's lost it. I love him, but Daddy John has completely lost it. And I think that mommy and daddy person over there agree with me…_

And this was true. By this time, the young couple was now completely put off by John and Jeff's behavior, and they quickly gathered their things, stood up, and pushed their baby's stroller away.

"Honey," the father said, this time in a not-so-quiet voice, "I seriously think those two guys are gay."

At this, both John and Jeff froze on the spot.

"Yeah." The mother looked back fleetingly, before she leaned towards her husband and said softly, "I guess gay couples raise kids too, nowadays. I wonder if they adopted?"

"…"

"…"

For a long period of time, there was a tense, thick silence. Then, John finally managed to find his voice again. "G-gay? Hardy…were they talking about _us_?"

The rainbow-haired artist didn't answer. Instead, he was staring at John's red shirt, one that completely matched his own…and his face immediately grew livid. "C-CENA! Why are you wearing a red shirt that looks exactly like MINE?"

"Eh?" John blinked, before he looked down at his clothes. "Why are you looking at me like that for? And what about _you_? Why are _you_ wearing the same shirt as me?"

"I wanted to look fashionable with Jamie!" Jeff retorted furiously, motioning to the red dress and bandana he had dressed the little baby in. "You ain't got no excuse! You always wear clothes the color of rat poop! There ain't no way that's your shirt!"

"…"

"…"

John flushed in embarrassment, and looked away. "Um…to tell the truth…this is Randy's shirt. I kinda borrowed it when I saw what Jamie was wearing…"

"BAH! You fucking idiot!" Jeff slapped the young detective hard over the head, before scooting several feet away from him. "Stay away from me! I don't want more people thinking we're gay!"

_Huh? _Jamie stared at her two possible fathers curiously. _Daddy Jeff, what does 'gay' mean? Is it something bad? Because you and Daddy John look really upset…_

* * *

Lita sat in her kitchen, drinking coffee and brushing tons of thick red hair back from her forehead.

June, who was seated next to her, figured that if she had as much hair as Lita did, she would most likely fool around with it too. However, June knew that she would never be blessed with thick hair like Lita's, and although she knew she could dye her hair to match the older woman's shade of red, June preferred to go along with what nature intended.

"So…" The young mother stirred sugar into her black coffee as she looked at Lita with a large grin. "Did I mention that Dave is a very intelligent doctor?"

Lita rolled her eyes. "_Yes_, kiddo. You mentioned this to me more times than I can count. Your boss is kind, sweet, considerate of others, used to be the head of an entire department before he got screwed over by a Canadian asshole, blah, blah, blah…"

"Oh." June flushed in embarrassment and took a hurried sip of her coffee. "Have I been repeating myself?"

"Endlessly."

"Well, I can't help it. Dr. Batista is just a complete gentleman. He even gave me a book on American Classics the day after I told him that I love the old novels! You don't see many men like him anymore."

"Yeah, yeah." Lita tossed two cubes of sugar into her cup, before she rested her chin in the palm of her hand and gave June a wicked smile. "But you know…you haven't exactly gotten to the good stuff yet."

"Huh?" June blinked cluelessly at the redhead. "The good stuff? What do you mean?"

"His looks, kiddo! Is he hot? Does he really have tattoos all over his body? And is he…you know…well-endowed? Because I hear that he's a hit with the nurses and female patients. I even heard that this Melina chick had a little affair with him after he split up from his second wife…"

"Miss Lita!" June yelped, her face becoming tomato red as she covered her mouth in shock. "How—how could you even ask me that? I—I'm just his employee and to think such things of Dr. Batista wouldn't be professional at all, and—and—"

"And I'm guessing that means you haven't told him you're madly in love with him," Lita observed, her voice becoming dry and flat as she took in the sight of June sputtering and tripping all over herself. "Honestly, kiddo…you should just tell him. Maybe then you won't trip over your own feet as much when you start gushing over him…"

"I'm not madly in love with him!" June protested weakly, fanning herself with a napkin as she attempting to rid herself of the dark red hue on her face. "He's just my boss…and one of my dearest friends! If there _are _any feelings of love between us—which there _aren't_—then they are all purely platonic and friend-like!"

"Of course. So, if I'm hearing you correctly, I'm to understand that you've never once thought of jumping in the sack with him? You've never once had naughty thoughts about what he must look like under his clothes? When you're alone with him, or when you're real close to him…it doesn't bother you in the slightest?"

"…"

Lita sighed and shook her head. "I thought so. Well…what about when he kisses you? He had to have kissed you at least once by now, right? I mean, it's been a year." The redhead waited patiently for the young mother to answer; in fact, June was surprised by how long it took for her to give up. When she finally did, Lita's jaw literally hit the floor. "Oh, come on! You can't seriously be telling me that you never kissed Batista!"

"…"

"June!"

Her face now a bright shade of crimson, June jumped out of her chair to wash her cup in the sink, even though half of her coffee was still in it, waiting to be drunk. Over her shoulder, she said in a timid, almost terrified voice, "I—I can't kiss him, Lita! I can't! What…what about Todd?"

Lita stared at June in disbelief. "Todd? TODD? Girl, what's wrong with you? It's been almost a year since he died!"

"That's the point!" June retorted, scrubbing the cup so roughly that the china was in danger of cracking in two. "It's only been a year! It's too soon…I can't forget him, Miss Lita. I…I still love him…" The young mother dropped the cup in the sink and sat back down, slumping in her chair as she tried her hardest to keep herself under control.

She hadn't cried for so long. There was no reason to start now.

"Kiddo…" Lita paused for a moment, before she wrapped a comforting arm around the young mother and pulled her in for a hug. "I didn't mean to pressure you. I really didn't, okay? But I'm worried about you. I know a lot of women can pull off that single mom crap, but still…it's a piece of shit to live alone, you know? And those three idiots you're living with now don't count," she added flatly as June began to open her mouth. "I know that they're your friends, but honestly? I think you can find someone _way _better to bunk with."

June sniffed, before she managed to give the redhead a shaky smile. "You mean like how you bunk with Matt nowadays? I swear, Matt's been smiling from ear-to-ear ever since you two started going out again…"

"Damn straight," Lita boasted proudly, a grin pushing past the corners of her lips. "No man goes away from me dissatisfied. But my sex life aside, how's your baby? You haven't brought her over to see me in weeks. Auntie Lita feels unloved, and I'm sure that little firecracker misses me too."

"Oh." The dark-haired woman gave Lita an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. It's just that Jeff and John wanted to watch her today, and I didn't have the heart to say no."

"Really?" Lita's brow rose slightly at this. "Seems like they really love the little tyke, don't they?"

"Yes…yes, they do." June smiled gently. "I can't believe it's already been a year. I swear, sometimes I think those three are too good to be true. John, Jeff…even Randy sometimes. They all seem to care about me and the baby so much." The young mother then laughed. "I guess I'm just lucky to have friends like them."

"Friends…" Lita took an uneasy sip of her coffee and avoided eye contact with June. "Friends. Right."

* * *

"Who the hell do they think they are to call us gay?" John grumbled, stomping inside the apartment in a fine rage. "Annoying bastards…I am NOT gay!"

"Well, why did you have to change her diaper right then and there, Cena?" Jeff snapped angrily, glaring at the young detective as he took a seat on the sofa with Jamie plopped onto his lap. "It made the both of us look bad! You know what? From now on, stay fifteen feet away from me at all times!"

"HEY! You're the one who made people misunderstand!" John retorted heatedly. "You're the one who gushed all over Jamie and gave her pet names! If anything, you're just as much to blame as me!"

"AAAAAAAAAAGH!" Jamie shrieked in rage, thumping her little fists against Jeff's lap as she gave her two possible fathers a look of sheer annoyance. _Would you two stop fighting? You're both acting so childish! Those two people are gone, so will you two calm down and act your age! SHEESH!_

"What the hell's going on?" Randy yelled, walking into the living room as he looked at John and Jeff in bewilderment. "I heard you guys arguing half a block away from the apartment! Did someone die or something?"

"It's all Cena's fault," Jeff grumbled, holding Jamie to his chest as he rocked the little baby into silence. "He was acting gay around me, and he caused a huge misunderstanding—"

"That was not my fault!" John snapped, narrowing his eyes unpleasantly at the rainbow-haired artist ad he clenched his hands into fists. "And I was NOT acting gay! You were the one who—hey Orton, where are you off to?" The young detective cocked his head curiously at the Legend Killer, his earlier anger immediately forgotten. "You're wearing a suit and everything. You have a business meeting, or something?"

"Or something," Randy replied, a smirk creeping past his lips as he buttoned his cuff links. "I have a date with Sam today."

Jeff snorted. "You still seeing that rich girl? Man, are you serious with her or something? You ain't even brought her home to introduce us!"

"And there is a very good reason for that," Randy replied dryly, his blue eyes now fixed on Jamie. The little baby sucked on her thumb and stared up at him innocently.

_Why are you staring at me like that, Daddy Randy? I didn't do nothing, dog! It was Daddy John, I swear!_

"Watch your mouth, Orton," John said sternly, stepping in between Randy and Jamie as he gave the Legend Killer a firm glare. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were ashamed of us, or something."

"…"

"…"

"…and this is news to you?"

"ORTON!" John's jaw dropped in shock. "How the fuck could you say that, man? We're your _friends, _remember? And Jamie could just as easily be your daughter as much as she could be mine or Hardy's!"

"Two out of three chances say that she isn't," Randy shot back, shoving the young detective out of the way as he headed towards the door. "Now, if you two will excuse me, I have a date to get to…"

"Ain't you gonna say goodbye to Jamie, man?" Jeff said suddenly. He stood up and carried the tiny infant over to the now less-than-thrilled Legend Killer, who looked as if he had just been forced to swallow poison. "Come on, Orton. Say goodbye to Jamie."

_Yeah, Daddy Randy! _Jamie squealed and held her arms out for the Legend Killer. _Hug me! I want hugs and kisses!_

Randy stiffened uncomfortably as he felt the baby's tiny hand grasp his sleeve, before he jerked away and scowled. "Man, I don't have time for this. I have to go! Besides, I heard that cuddling the baby too much isn't good for it."

"What the hell are you talking about?" John said loudly, taking Jamie from Jeff's arms and giving her a loud, lip-smacking kiss on the cheek. The tiny infant shrieked with laughter and hugged the young detective hard around the neck, clearly happy to be the center of his attention. "See? Jamie loves affection! You're just being a grouch because she likes me and Hardy more than you."

"Excuse me?" Randy felt his eye twitch slightly. "That is not true."

"Of course it's true!" Jeff agreed, running a finger down the baby's soft cheek and smiling as she immediately grasped his finger and tried to suckle it. "She doesn't do anything when _you _hold her. But with us, she's all happy and perky. You wanna know why she acts differently around you? It's 'cause you ain't done squat for her."

"WHAT?" The Legend Killer stared at his two supposed best friends in sheer disbelief. "What the fuck are you talking about, Hardy? Have those hair-dyes finally gone to your head? I do _plenty_ of nice things for Jamie! I brought her expensive clothes. _Brand_ name clothes! Those ain't cheap, I'll tell you!"

"Buying her clothes and then not talking to her for the rest of the day doesn't count, Orton," John replied dryly. "You gotta give her lots of love and affection. You know…LOVE. And AFFECTION. I know those words are in your mental dictionary deep, deep down…"

"Besides," Jeff commented, "didn't you say you got the baby clothes from your mother?"

"…"

"…"

"I still had to ask for them," Randy muttered, rubbing the back of his head in frustration. "And let me tell you something…Nate and Rebekah were asking me non-stop questions about Junie. They both think that I'm sleeping with her…"

At this, John's face suddenly turned green with disgust. "Okay, Orton…never say that again. That was the worst and scariest thing I've ever heard of…"

"I agree," Jeff said queasily, his face also an interesting shade of pale green. "You don't even like Junie that way. Hell, you're the last person I'd think of who'd fall in love with her."

Randy didn't reply, even though his face became somewhat sour at this statement.

"And anyway, that ain't being nice at all. I ain't ever seen you hug Jamie for the entire year."

"What the hell?" Randy cried. "I've hugged her! I've hugged her lots of times! I've hugged her so much that frankly, I'm all hugged out!"

"That still don't change the fact that I've never _seen_ you hug her," Jeff replied calmly.

"I've never seen you hug her either," John agreed, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he gave Randy a deadpanned stare. "So when did you hug her, Orton? We're all ears."

"I—I don't have to answer to the likes of you!" Randy snapped, gritting his teeth as he once again headed for the door. "For your information, I've hugged her when you guys weren't home. That brat fucking _adores _me when you guys aren't here! So what do you have to say to that, huh? Nothing? I DIDN'T THINK SO!"

With that, Randy slammed the door shut behind him, leaving a flabberghasted detective, a nonplussed artist, and a confused little baby behind in his wake.

"…he's got anger issues, Hardy."

"Tell me about it, Cena."

"Gack."

* * *

**I know it's short, but I didn't want to make you guys wait another two-three weeks. I know, I'm not consistent with chapter length…but I do hope I've made one thing clear about June's own reluctance to pursue a relationship with **_**anyone**_**, much less our three dashing heroes and the ever charming doctor.**

**University's going to give me heavier workloads soon, so…yeah. I'll try my best to keep chapters coming, though. Love you all!**

**Read and review, please.**


	24. One Small Step

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

A/N: It's been a long while…and all I can say is that I'm sorry. If anyone is still reading this, I'm sorry. Opening is inspired by Brian Regan.

**Twenty-Four: One Small Step**

_You wanna know one thing I really, truly, unconditionally love about Mommy? She doesn't take shortcuts when she cooks. With her, it's genuine, homemade food you're getting on the table. And let me tell you, she makes the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches since the history of…ever!_

_I love peanut butter. I really do. But what I can't stand is people taking my peanut butter love and mutilating it into something hideous, gross, and LAZY. Take this, for instance. I saw something in the market the other day that I don't understand._

_Peanut butter and jelly. In the same jar. _

_Is there a point to that? I mean...I won't lie, because I'm lazy and proud of it. But...I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open TWO jars! I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars and cleaning, who KNOWS how many knives?" _

_If you're that lazy, why not put bread crumbs in there and get the whole sandwich on a spoon? You know, just scoopin' it out into your lazy-ass mouth. "Mmm...Oh, scrumptious! I think I'm gonna have another one. Uh, mmmmm... DELECTABLE! As was the first!" Or if you don't wanna clean the spoon, you put it all in a squeeze bottle. "Mmmm! Lunch and no clean up! Can life get better? I submit that it CANNOT!"_

_If anyone says that they actually like that idea, I will slap you. I'm serious. I will walk right up to you and slap you._

_I do not like lazy-ass people, dawg!_

* * *

"Your car is nice, Randy," Sam commented, running a hand over the expensive leather upholstery of the interior. "Is it new? I haven't seen this model before."

The Legend Killer smirked as he rounded a sharp curve in the street. "That would be because it's custom made, babe," he replied smugly. "I ordered this Hummer to be updated with _all _the latest bits of technology available. Hell, it's got some bits that I still don't know how to work properly even today. This is all sheer power, baby."

"I see." Sam leaned back against the cushioned seats and tapped a finger against her chin in thought. "Well, maybe I should buy a model like this too…except without all the stereos and shiny hub caps. I don't know why, but everything just seems a bit excessive to me."

Randy's eye twitched slightly. _Excuse me? I had to wait six fucking months for this car to be built exactly the way I want it, and you think it's __**excessive**__? Damn you, woman… _

"You don't have to do that, Sam," he finally replied, although his teeth were slightly gritted from his efforts to sound calm. Slowing the car to a stop as he parked in front of a large restaurant, he forced himself to give her what he hoped was a charming smile. "I'm just a phone call away. If you ever need a ride, just ring me up and I'll come drive you."

"Is that so?"

"Of course. For a pretty little thing like you, I'd give you the moon if I could."

"Aw…" The brunette laughed and slapped him playfully in the arm. "You're so sweet, Randy! I swear, you're too good to be true sometimes…" She trailed off when she spotted a young couple from the car window, a couple which was in the midst of trying to balance three wailing toddlers in their arms. "Oh my. Look at that, Randy!"

"Hmm?" The Legend Killer blinked, before he peered at the struggling couple curiously. "Look at what?"

"That couple over there." Sam pointed towards the sobbing children. All three were screaming in their father's face while tugging haplessly at the poor mother's skirt. "Why do they do it? They don't look like they have the time or money to raise that many kids at once, so why do they keep giving birth to them?" She shook her head in pity. "I think if I was going to raise them like that, I wouldn't have kids."

"Oh. Um, right." Randy rubbed the back of his neck nervously, unwanted thoughts of June and Jamie suddenly sweeping through his mind. "Um, I—I don't know, Sam…I mean, these things just happen, you know?"

"Still! I don't understand why they would get married and then raise kids without a plan. That woman over there is pretty pathetic, in my opinion."

"Pathetic. Right." A muscle was twitching slightly in his jaw, but Randy forced himself to ignore it as he tried to concentrate on Sam and _only _Sam. "She should have been more careful. You're absolutely right…"

* * *

Jeff grinned as he mashed bananas and peaches together in Jamie's favorite pink bowl.

"You're gonna love the lunch I'm making, baby girl," he said proudly as he carried the meal towards Jamie's room. "I even snuck a bit of honey in there for extra sweetness! Just don't tell your mom, okay? She's still obsessing over your non-existent oral hygiene and whatnot…" He walked into the bedroom, stirring the spoon throughout the sweetened mush…

…before gasping and dropping the bowl in shock.

From the other end of the room, Jamie was playing happily with the dog. Jack barked energetically as he licked the giggling baby's face, his excitement growing when she slowly stood up on her tiny feet and tried to walk towards him, hands outstretched as she attempted to catch him by the tail over and over again.

_Here, doggy doggy! C'mon, Jack-Jack, stop running away from me!_

"Oh my god." Jeff stared at the scene before him, stunned to the point where he didn't even bother to chastise the dog as it bounded over to the spilled fruit blissfully, licking the food off the floor in the manner of a wet mop. "Jamie…am I hallucinating? Am I dreaming?"

_Huh? _The tiny infant turned her attention to her possible father and blinked at him innocently. _Daddy Jeff? What'cha doing over there? You look like you just found and ate ten bags of Skittles! And what's Jack-Jack licking off the floor? I wanna lick it too!_ With that, she waddled towards the mush with a large, silly grin on her face, her chubby little arms waving through the air as she tried to balance herself on her still unsteady legs.

"A-are…are you _walking_ all by yourself, baby girl?" Jeff stammered, falling to his knees as Jamie continued to walk towards him. As soon as she was within reaching distance, he scooped her into his arms and held her tightly to his chest, laughing happily as the tiny infant stared up at him with curious eyes. "I can't believe it! Tell me I'm not dreaming, Jamie! Are you really walking?"

Jamie blew a small raspberry at her possible father. _Of course I can walk! I'm a genius, after all—I taught myself just a few seconds ago! But all that walking made me hungry! I demand that you feed me right this minute!_

"Oh, Jamie!" Jeff stood up and twirled the tiny infant in the air, making her shriek in excitement. "That's my girl! That's my little girl! I gotta tell Junie—shit, I gotta call Junie! She's gonna be over the moon about this!"

Jamie gurgled in agreement; wrapping her arms around Jeff's neck as he quickly pulled his cell phone out and dialed June's number, making sure to switch the phone to video mode. "This is gonna make her day," the rainbow-haired artist said excitedly, as the baby bounced up and down energetically in his arms. "We have to celebrate tonight, Jamie. Forget the mashed stuff…you're getting cakes and sweets for dinner!"

_Really, Daddy Jeff? YAY! I love you the most, now! _The small baby squealed in delight just as the image of a woman popped up on his screen. _Ooooh! Mommy's in that little box! Hi, mommy! How'd you get in there?_

"Is everything all right, Jeff?" the young mother asked from her end, a worried look crossing over her facial features. From behind her, Jeff was able to see the masked face of Rey Mysterio peeking curiously over June's shoulder. "What's going on? Are you and Jamie okay?"

"Jamie's just fine!" Jeff said proudly, clutching the little baby close to his chest as he directed the camera portion of the phone over Jamie's face. "Junie, you'll be happy to hear that our precious baby girl just took her _first steps _today!"

"WHAT?" June's jaw dropped in disbelief while Rey stared from the background in absolute shock. "Jeff," the young mother whispered softly, "if this is a terrible joke on your part, I swear I will never speak to you again! Did Jamie really…did she really…?"

"Shoot, this ain't no joke! See for yourself!" The rainbow-haired artist grinned before he set the tiny infant on the ground, taking several shots of her with his camera phone as Jamie began to waddle away from him with an uninterested look on her face.

_Daddy Jeff, you're boring, _Jamie thought, rolling her eyes. _I don't know why people like to talk in those silly cell box things all the time. Why don't you just talk to mommy face to face? It's much better that way, and you can even get free hugs and kisses…OH! Here, Jack-Jack! Get over here, you dumb mutt!_

As she resumed her earlier task of trying to catch the dog by the tail, Jeff quickly snapped more pictures, making a mental note to send some to John along with a rather taunting text message.

As he hit the "send" button, the rainbow-haired artist found himself grinning. _Cena's definitely gonna regret heading into work today…_

* * *

"CODY, YOU ASSHOLE!"

"W-what?" The young man shrank back from the clearly infuriated John Cena, trying his best to use Ted as a shield in order to deflect the detective's wrath. This didn't quite work, as John merely ended up throwing the unfortunate, second-generation DiBiase out the door before grabbing Cody angrily by the collar. "I didn't do anything, I swear! I was with Ted all day in the lab…HEY!" Cody yelped as the older man shoved him roughly into a nearby chair, flinching when John shoved a phone viciously into his face. "What the hell? What's your problem, Cena?"

"_This_ is my problem!" John snapped, pointing to the picture on the screen in an agitated manner. "Don't you see what's on the SCREEN?"

"Um…" Cody blinked in confusion before he turned his attention to the picture. Standing upright, with her chubby little arms waving happily through the air, was a little baby girl who was currently in the process of attempting to take a step towards a small dog in the background. It took the young man a while, but Cody's eyes suddenly lit up in recognition as he said excitedly, "Hey! Isn't that Jamie? Oh wow…is she…is she walking now?"

"…yes," John grumbled bitterly. "She just took her first steps a few minutes ago. Hardy took pictures, and he said he was going to videotape her." The young detective's face turned sour as he glared heatedly at the phone. "I should have been there to see it, not Hardy…"

"That's pretty cool of Jeff to take pictures of Jamie," Cody commented, completely oblivious to the fact that John's face was turning darker and redder by the second. "Hey, maybe I should get her a gift for the occasion! Maybe some sneakers! I haven't seen that cute little thing in a while, and I'd sure like to see her again—"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, CODY!" John suddenly bellowed, once again grabbing the younger man by the collar and shaking him for all he was worth. "Because you just _had _to switch over to the CSI department with Ted, Bob Holly retired from the force, and now I have to take double shifts with that stupid son-of-a-bitch, Miz! I can't spend as much time with Junie or Jamie anymore, and since I'm not around as much, Hardy's getting to spend all his time with them! This is _your _fault, you hear me?"

"W-what?" Cody stared at the older detective in disbelief, not believing what he was hearing. "Oh, come on! Just how exactly is that my fault? I didn't tell Mr. Holly to quit! He decided that all on his own! Besides, it's not my fault that Jamie picked today of all days to start walking! You're just looking for a scapegoat!"

"Well—I—what I mean is—" John fumbled for a moment, flustered and taken aback by the younger man's retaliation, before his face hardened once more. "CODY, YOU ASSHOLE! I don't care what you say or what you think! When I say it's your fault, it's your fault, and right now…IT'S—ALL—YOUR—FAULT!" He gave Cody a violent shake between words, nearly taking the poor boy's head off due to the insane amount of force he was using.

"T-TED! TED YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH! HELP MEEEEEEEE! CENA'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"

"Damn it! Mr. Austin, get the tranquilizers! Cena's lost it and he's trying to murder Cody! AGAIN!"

* * *

"Oh my goodness!" June sank into a nearby chair, pressing a hand against her forehead. "Oh my—oh my goodness! My little girl's walking…"

"I saw, senora!" Rey exclaimed as he squeezed her shoulder excitedly. "This is a miraculous moment in any parent's life! It's one small step for Jamie, and one giant leap for all of her family and friends!"

"What's going on?" From the corner of the room, Dr. Gail Kim, Big Show's newest employee for the Physical Rehabilitation Department, looked up at the pair in confusion, all the while manipulating the stiff limbs of her grumpy patient. ("Hey," Chris Jericho grumbled, "I'm still in pain here, Gail! You're supposed to treat me, remember? Don't ignore me!") "Who's walking? Did I miss something?"

"It's June's daughter!" Rey explained happily, wearing a grin on his face so wide that his cheeks were nearly gone. "She just started walking all by herself! You should see the pictures, Gail…the little senorita is just so _cute_!"

"Really?" The Asian doctor's eyes widened, before she let out a squeal of excitement and ran over to June's side, trying to sneak a peek at the cell phone. "Let me see, June! Ever since I started working here, you've told me so much about Jamie…but I've never even seen a picture of her!"

The young mother colored in embarrassment and fiddled with her phone. "I'm sorry about that, Miss Gail. I don't carry around a photo of Jamie because I keep them all pinned in my scrapbooks…um, but I think Mr. Jericho is starting to get upset. Maybe you should continue his treatment for now, and I can show you how Jamie's pictures during lunch." June glanced warily at the increasingly aggravated Chris, but Gail simply waved her hand in the air in dismissal.

"Don't mind Mr. Fancy-Pants-Canadian-Rock-Star over there," the Asian doctor replied carelessly. ("Hey!" Chris was now frantically waving his arms in the air, almost tumbling off his bed in the process. "HEY! Pay attention to me, damn it! I'm too sexy to be ignored!") "Chris has a terrible habit of getting grumpy if no one's listening to his rants and rambles for more than five minutes."

"I heard that! You assclowns and hypocrites can't say things like that about me! This hospital only gets recognition because _I'm_ a patient here, you know! I have the stocks to prove it!"

"June, there's only one thing you have to realize about Chris," Gail went on, thoroughly ignoring the blond man as he started to curse and rant unintelligibly in her direction. "Ever since he lost that singing competition to Gene Simmons, he's been in a pissy mood. In fact, he's been in so many pissy moods that frankly, just pretending that he's not there is the best way to keep one's sanity intact."

"It's a recommendation from his own wife and children!" Rey piped up, ducking his head to the side just as a furious Chris threw an empty water pitcher at his head. "It's the best course of action in the long run. Even though he's talented and famous, it wouldn't hurt Mr. Jericho to keep his mouth closed for a while, right?"

"Well…" June stared worriedly at the now pouting Canadian, and fidgeted even more with her phone. "I don't know about that…"

"Oh, forget about him, June! Now, let me see that baby of yours!" With that, Gail slipped the phone out of the young mother's hand and clicked through the photos of Jamie, gushing at the sweet and innocent expressions on the tiny infant's face while Rey laughed and placed a comforting hand on an embarrassed June's shoulder. "Girl, your child is adorable! How could you have kept her from me until now?" The Asian doctor mock-swatted the young mother on the arm, pretending to look hurt as June blushed a brilliant scarlet.

"I'm sorry, Miss Gail! I just never had the time to show you, what with you being busy with Mr. Jericho and Mr. Kozlov and all…"

"Excuses, excuses!"

"Miss Gail!"

"Hang in there, senora!" Rey said, unable to keep himself from smiling at the sight of the shy young mother becoming completely flustered. "Don't take Dr. Kim too seriously! She's just a big old pussy cat on the inside, right Gail?"

"Eh?" The Asian doctor visibly tensed, before she turned her attention towards Rey and raised a less-than-pleased brow. "Who're you calling old, Dr. Mysterio? Are you trying to imply that I'm getting too worn and wrinkly for my age?"

Paling at the look on Gail's face, Rey frantically shook his head in an attempt to pacify her. "Ack! No! W-what I _meant _to say was that big old pussy cats tend to be nice and sweet and non-murderous, which is like you! You're very nice, and sweet, and non-murderous…right?"

"…"

"…"

Gail crossed her arms and frowned. "…so what I'm hearing, Dr. Mysterio, is that I can still be compared to an _old _pussy cat. Am I right?"

"Um…" At this point, the short Hispanic doctor was cowering under Gail's increasingly icy stare. _Agh! So much for thinking that Gail is one of the __**nicer**__ senoritas in the hospital__!_ "Well, what I meant was…um…I didn't mean…is there any way for me to end this conversation unscathed? I mean, I do have a pregnant wife to go home to! OH GOD!"

June, on her part, tiptoed quietly away from the bickering pair as she tried to focus her attention on the now depressed and dejected Chris Jericho. ("Why don't people like me anymore, Mrs. Grisham? I'm cute! And I have great hair! My wife always told me that I'm cuter than baby bunnies!") Shaking her head, June took Chris's arm and picked up where Gail left off. Humming softly, she gently applied pressure to the stiffest muscles, noting with a smile that the blond man slowly fell silent as his body relaxed from the soothing touches.

_Thank goodness for small blessings. Maybe now Mr. Jericho will calm down enough to fall asleep for the rest of his therapy session_…

An interesting, well-known fact around the hospital was that the young mother tended to focus completely on a patient during rehabilitation sessions. As a result, she tended to lose track of what was going on in the world around her. June was so focused on Chris that she was quite unaware of a tall, dark-blond man standing quietly at the doorway. She was so focused on Chris that she didn't see this man (who was in fact Hunter) quickly grab Rey by the arm and drag him outside of the room, mumbling a low apology at the same time for Gail, who in turn had been on the verge of flaying Rey alive for his misinterpreted remark.

When the door slammed shut, however, June finally looked up in alarm, but other than a less-than-happy Gail Kim and a very quiet and relaxed Chris Jericho, there was no one else left in the room.

* * *

"_W-w-whoa! Hey homes, let go of me!" _

"_Easy Rey…it's just me."_

"_Hunter? What the hell, man? You trying to kidnap me?"_

"_**Kidnap**__? Lil' old __**me**__, kidnapping __**you**__? Nah. Naaaaaaah. Never."_

"…"

"…_well, __FINE__, if you have to put it that way. But that's not the point here! The point is, I need to speak to you, buddy."_

"_Since when was I ever your buddy, Hunter? And last time I checked, sane people don't go around kidnapping their __buddies__."_

"_Stop being a smartass, Mysterio. Listen, I didn't want to have to drag you into this, but I've been talking to Dave lately about how to deal with Vickie and that Rated PG-13 son-of-a-bitch, Edge…"_

"_Heh! PG-13…but what do you need me for? I don't want anything to do with Vickie anymore, not after what she and Edge put me through. If it wasn't for the fact that I still respect Eddie's memory and want his hospitals to succeed, I would have quit a long time ago."_

"_Well the thing is, it doesn't just involve __**you**__. Let me explain the situation to you in a bit more detail…"_

* * *

God, he was bored.

As Randy watched Sam flip through the hundredth art book in the store, he had to force himself to stay awake and to not daydream about the fun things he _could _be doing at the moment. Crushing Vince and Hunter's empires, beating up on John and Jeff…all were tempting and fun activities for him to do. Hell, even hanging around June was more entertaining than this, and he goddamn hated the woman half the time.

It wasn't that he disliked Sam. It really wasn't. She was a very nice woman with a very attractive build, who just so happened to be very _trusting_…but damn it, he was going to lose his fucking mind if he had to look and another picture of some artwork he was never going to understand!

"Randy?"

"Huh?" The Legend Killer jerked himself out of his thoughts as he blinked stupidly at his girlfriend. "What? Did you say something?"

The brunette frowned, before she turned her eyes back to the book with a hurt look on her face. "You're not even listening to me anymore," she mumbled. "Are you bored, Randy? Do you want to go somewhere else?"

"Oh no! No, no, no, no!" Randy quickly shook his head, erasing all traces of boredom from his countenance. "I'm sorry, Sam. It's just that my head's all jammed up because there's so much shit going on in my life right now. I don't mean to take it out on you, babe. It's just…stressful, that's all." He attempted to smile, or at least leer at her in a charming manner.

Thankfully, she seemed to buy it, for her lips slowly curved upwards as she showed him the art picture she was currently looking at. "If that's the case, Randy," she said quietly, "then you should take a look at some artwork. For me, I find that looking at an art book clears my head."

"Really?" Randy raised a brow. "I guess you're really into this art stuff, aren't you?"

"Why else would I hold so many art galleries?"

"True." The Legend Killer chuckled, before he glanced at the puzzling mixture of shades and colors on the page. A second later, he had to shut his eyes and turn away—the sheer disorganization of the picture made his corneas ache, and his head felt even worse off than before.

_What the hell kind of drug are you on, woman? This art shit doesn't clear my head! It's gonna give me a fucking migraine!_

Of course, he didn't dare say that to her face, and he quickly threw another smile in her direction as she stared at him with hopeful eyes. "You know, you're absolutely right, Sam. Art really does clear the mind. When I look at this picture, I feel that the complexities of my mind are being refreshed."

"Oh?" The brunette gave Randy a confused stare, before she pointed at the top of the page. "But Randy, the title of the art is called 'Maze.'"

"…"

"…"

"…it's a maze?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah! I mean, just look at how the artist used the colors, and how the brushstrokes intensify at certain angles! Doesn't it seem that the picture is really complicated, with no hope of an exit?"

"Uh…yeah…" _What the fuck are you talking about? How the hell am I supposed to know about brushstrokes and crap like that?_

"I feel like my head is becoming complicated," Sam went on, closing the book and sighing wistfully. "And not only that, my heart is becoming burdensome. It's really something else…don't you agree?"

Randy didn't answer. Instead, his face became pinched and sour at Sam having pointed out his embarrassing mistake, and he had half made up his mind to leave the store when his cell phone suddenly rang. "Goddamn it," he swore quietly, turning away from Sam as she went up to the cashier to pay for her books. Flipping the phone open, he saw that he had received one text message and a bunch of accompanying photographs from one person.

**Hey Orton, sorry to interrupt your date with Miss Moneybags, but I just thought you should know that our baby girl just took her first steps today! If you're not too busy later, come over so we can celebrate Jamie's first step into childhood! Oh, and try not to be an asshole. At least PRETEND to be happy for Jamie and Junie, okay?**

**Jeff**

"Fucking jackass!" Randy growled, snapping his phone shut as he furiously shoved it back into his pocket. "What the hell was that for? It's not like I hate those two or anything! I'm the one who pays for the brat's food and clothes—hell, that kid and Junie fucking owe me for everything I did for them!"

"Who owes you for what?" Sam asked curiously, walking up to Randy with a curious expression on her face. "What were you yelling about, Randy?"

"Oh. Um, it's nothing." Coughing nervously, the Legend Killer scratched the back of his head and tried to look innocent and composed. "One of my friends just sent me a prank phone call, and I got a little pissed at him. No big deal."

"Prank…phone calls?" Sam repeated slowly, giggling as she took in the idea. "Are you serious? No offense, Randy, but aren't you and your friend a bit too old to be making prank phone calls?"

"Hey!" He held up his hands in a defensive gesture. "Blame them, not me! They're the ones who never really grew up after high school." _Except maybe for Junie_, he thought privately._ I can't remember a time when she wasn't such an overbearing mother hen to me…not that you need to know, Sam._

"Well, at any rate," Sam went on, "I have to cut our date short. I just got a call from Stephanie, and she wants me to join her for a 'Girls Only' special at her favorite massage parlor."

"Girls only, huh?" Randy frowned. "That means no Hunter, I take it…"

"Of course not! It's _girls_ only!"

"You never know. Hunter's hairstyle is pretty girlish in this day and age."

"Oh, Randy!" Sighing, Sam stood on her tiptoes and placed a quick kiss to his lips. "Don't fret! Just call me later, and we can reschedule, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Have fun with Steph." Randy pressed his lips to Sam's temple as she left. But the minute her back was turned, a look of displeasure and frustration flashed across his handsome features.

_Damn that woman_. As he ran a hand through his short hair and headed out of the store, it took everything he had not to punch a hole into the nearest wall…or into the nearest unfortunate person.

Why exactly was he dating Sam, again? It had been almost a year now, and he still wasn't as close to Hunter _or _Vince as he would have liked to be. Hell, he had fully expected to have ruined both men by now, but for some reason, Stephanie hadn't been inviting much people over lately to rendezvous with her father, and Hunter was supposedly wrapped up in some scheme involving Vickie Guerrero. Recently he had tried contacting both men personally, but Vince was always unavailable, and Hunter always replied with a brisk, "I'm busy, Orton," before rudely hanging up.

Oh, how he hated Hunter at times. Oh, how he _hated _him…

"Hello, sir! How may I help you?"

The Legend Killer blinked, before he looked up and found himself surrounded by women's shoes. Lots of women's shoes. _Hundreds _of women's shoes. In front of him was a young saleswoman, and she gave him a curious stare as he looked around the store in confusion, trying to figure out how exactly he had ended up wandering in here.

"Sir, can I help you?" the saleswoman asked, cocking her head to the side as he tried (and failed) to find an exit. "Are you alright? Do you need help finding something?"

"Um, no." Darn it, where was the door? Why were there no doors in this store? "I'll be okay, don't mind me—"

And then he stopped.

His eyes had fallen on a tiny pair of pink slippers, slippers that were clearly made for little baby girls. On the pair of slippers were two pretty plastic pink bows, and there was even a small pink strap on the end so that the baby could adjust the tightness of the shoe to her liking.

He paused.

It wasn't that he cared or anything, but Jeff _did _mention that Jamie had just started walking…

* * *

"Congratulations on Jamie's first steps!"

Jamie became overcome with giggles as Jeff held a video camera in front of her face, while John, Randy, and June clapped and cheered in celebration. _Hey, what's with all you guys? Sure, I always deserve praise and affection, but what's the big hoopla for? OH WOW! CAKE! _The tiny infant's jaw dropped when she saw John place a large slice of chocolate cake in front of her. _YAY, CAKE! And it's chocolate cake, too! Daddy John, I love you!_

"Oh, Jamie!" June gushed, sweeping her daughter into her arms just as the baby tried to grab a handful of the sweet dessert. "I'm so proud of you! You're walking all by yourself already!" The young mother sniffed, and tightened her hold on her daughter. "You're growing up too fast…"

"Gack!" Jamie shrieked in frustration, squirming in her mother's arms as she tried vainly to reach for her cake. _Mommy! Leggo! I wanna eat some cake! Caaaaaaaaake!_

"Come on, Junie!" Jeff lowered the camera as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "This is a time to celebrate! No tears, you hear me girl?"

"Yeah, that's right!" John agreed, flashing June his brightest smile. "Let's just pig out and party tonight, Junie! After all, this is a huge milestone in Jamie's life! Crying has no place in a happy occasion!"

"…" There was another sniff, before a small smile slowly pushed its way past June's lips. "I suppose you're right, guys…I'm being silly." Turning to Jamie, who was now desperately kicking and flailing to get to her cake, June laughed and gently placed the little baby in a high chair. "Come on, Jamie my love! Let's get to work on that cake!"

_YEAH! Now you're talking my language, mommy!_ Jamie grinned and was about to sink her tiny hands into the dessert when all of a sudden, Randy reached over and snatched the cake away. _ACK! NOOOOOOO! Daddy Randy, you butthead! Give me back my cake! _

"Not so fast," the Legend Killer said quietly, ignoring the shocked faces of Jeff, John, and June as the tiny infant began to whimper and fuss. "Don't start eating just yet, little girl."

_Why not, Daddy Randy? You deprived me of delicious, chocolaty CAKE!_

"I don't want your hands all dirty when you open my present. This shit cost money, and you can't get chocolate stains out of clothes." With that, Randy placed a small box in front of Jamie, a box that was wrapped neatly in pink wrapping paper and several white ribbons. Immediately, the whimpers and hiccups ceased, and Jamie stared at the present in what could only be described as genuine curiosity.

_What is this, Daddy Randy? Am I supposed to eat the box? What's all this silly pink paper for?_

Meanwhile, the others exchanged startled and confused looks, the most startled and confused of all being June. "Randy, what is this?" the young mother asked slowly. In all her life, she had never known Randy to be particularly generous to the people around him, even to members of his own family. "You didn't have to buy anything…"

"Can't a guy decide to be decent to a kid?" Randy replied, his voice oddly gruff as he tried to avoid June's gaze. "Jamie's walking now, and since she's walking, she's gonna need shoes."

"It's still weird, though," Jeff commented, lifting his video camera to tape Jamie's attempts to chew through the box. "I mean, you're the biggest cheapskate I know when it comes to getting presents for others."

"Is the world ending, Junie?" John asked innocently. "I mean, if Randy's purposefully being nice without someone forcing him to do it, it's the first sign of the apocalypse."

"Why don't you shut your mouth, Cena?"

"Likewise, Orton."

"Oh, honestly!" June sighed, and pulled up a chair next to Jamie as she pulled the drool-covered box out of the baby's hands. "Now, now, sweetie…that's not a food…I wonder what Uncle Randy brought for you today?" As June tore through the wrapping paper, she lifted the top off…and gasped at the sight of the pretty pink slippers resting at the bottom of the box. "My goodness! Randy, this is so cute!"

_What's cute, mommy? Lemme see, lemme see! _Jamie bounced up and down in her seat as her mother placed the slippers in front of her face, and the little baby squealed at the sight of the shoes. _Oh, wow! They're so pretty! I wanna EAT them right now!_

June laughed as Jamie took hold of a slipper and tried to put it in her mouth. Turning to Randy, she gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you, love. This was so thoughtful of you…"

For a moment, a faint red hue appeared on Randy's cheeks at the sight of June's smile, but it quickly vanished as he turned his gaze to the side and mumbled, "You're welcome," in a low, mumbled voice.

"You stole my idea, Orton," John complained, pulling out a pair of baby blue sneakers out from behind his back. "I got Jamie shoes too! No kid would be happy without having sneakers to play sports with!"

"What's this?" June's eyes widened as she took the tiny sneakers out of John's hands. "John, you're so sweet! You really didn't have to do this…"

"Junie, sneakers are the best," John declared, blushing as June gave him a quick hug before placing the gift in front of Jamie. "Dress shoes and slippers—" here, the young detective gave Randy a smug grin "—tend to make kids trip and fall. It's no good for them!"

The Legend Killer's eye twitched. "Cena, I swear I'm gonna punch you in the fucking mouth—"

"RANDY! Don't curse!"

"…fine, Junie…"

"Jamie," John went on, ignoring the increasingly annoyed Randy as Jamie began to chew on the blue sneakers as well, "I want you to wear these and run around a lot, okay? Life is about being active and having fun!"

"Gack!" Jamie agreed, drooling all over the top of one of the sneakers.

"Ha!" Jeff suddenly snorted, and pulled out a small, unwrapped shoebox from under the table. "Cena, you and Orton just don't know how kids think. The best way to know for sure that a kid likes a present…is to have them pick it out for themselves! Tada!"

With that, the rainbow-haired artist pulled out a pair of red sandals from the box and placed it in front of Jamie. The effect was instantaneous; the tiny infant went into peals of delight and, tossing both the pink slippers and the blue sneakers to the ground, she grabbed the sandals and began to gum on it ferociously.

Both Randy and John stared at their forgotten presents, dejected and crestfallen. June noticed this, however, and quickly scooped up the slippers and sneakers with a comforting smile.

"I'm sure Jamie likes your presents too!" she said reassuringly, setting the shoes on her lap as Jamie tried without success to eat her sandals. "They're all so pretty…but Jeff…" June gave the rainbow-haired artist a guilty look. "When did you have time to buy this? I mean, you take care of Jamie and you're so busy and all…"

Jeff grinned and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Actually, Jamie and I picked them up a while ago. I always knew she would start walking someday, and I didn't think it would hurt to be prepared."

"Jeff…" June shook her head, before she bent over and kissed him on the cheek, causing him, Randy, and John to redden simultaneously, albeit for completely different reasons. "You guys are the greatest. And Jeff, the sandals are just too cute…"

"Actually," John commented nonchalantly, "I think the sandals are kind of bland…"

"And they're probably really cheap and uncomfortable," Randy added, glaring at Jeff (who was still slightly red from June's kiss). "Hardy, I'm surprised at how low quality these shoes look."

"Oh really?" Jeff snorted again, before he grabbed one of the red sandals and _squeezed _the heels…making a loud squeaking noise emit from the shoes.

Jamie laughed. _Do it again, Daddy Jeff! Make the funny noise again!_

"You see," Jeff said proudly, as Jamie reached up and grasped at his sleeve, "unlike you unimaginative punks, _my _shoes can make noises. Yours can't. Therefore, I am on a completely different level from you two, and Jamie agrees. Right Jamie?" Jeff bent his head and kissed the little baby on the top of the head. "That's right! Jamie totally agrees with me!"

"Grr…" Both Randy and John exchanged angry glances, murderous intentions running through both of their minds.

June watched all of this with a small, sad smile on her face. "You guys are just wonderful, you know that?" she said softly. "I don't know where Jamie and I would be without you three. Thank you…"

"It's nothing," John piped up, momentarily forgetting his anger towards Jeff. "We love you, Junie. We should be thanking _you_. I mean, watching you take care of Jamie reminds me that I have to stay a good son to my own mother."

"And my work ethics are improving!" Jeff added, taking June's hand and squeezing it gently. "I never had in my stuff late anymore, and…I changed some of my relationships with some of my co-workers." And this was the truth. Nowadays he never spoke to Trish except when he had to hand in his drawings. And in all honesty, he actually felt better and more relaxed with the routine he had fallen into with June and Jamie.

"You guys are just buttering me up," June retorted, although the corners of her lips twitched upwards. "I know I fall short as a mother."

"Junie, shut up," Randy snapped, making the young mother flinch at his tone. "You're not a bad mother. Yeah, there are some really shitty mothers out there, but you're not one of them. So shut up."

"Orton!" John stared at the Legend Killer in disbelief. "Damn it, I can't believe you…!"

"Man, do you have to say it like that?" Jeff said angrily, tightening his hold on June's hand as she lowered her gaze. "I asked you to be nice for one night, and—"

"Guys, let's not fight," June said quickly, squeezing Jeff's hand back in an attempt to calm him down. "I didn't mean to ruin the mood, and I apologize. It's just that…I'm really happy." June ran a hand over the shoes on her lap, and smiled. "You guys are such great friends, you know? I…I just don't know how to repay you all for your kindness…" The young mother trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

For a moment, there was tense, thick, uncomfortable silence.

Then John broke the ice. "Come on," he said finally, lifting his beer can as he gestured for the others to do so as well. "Come on, let's not do this. This is Jamie's night! Let's all have a drink for Jamie! If we don't do it tonight, when will we get another chance? Come on—cheers!"

"Cheers!" June, Randy, and Jeff all raised their cans in the air and drank to Jamie's health, while Jamie was given a sippy cup of apple juice to toast with.

…

"Hey Cena!"

"Yeah, Hardy?"

"You didn't put beer in Jamie's sippy cup, did ya?"

"No! …_No_! …NO! I'd never make that kind of mistake! You think I'm some kind of idiot?"

"Yes."

"No one was talking to you, Orton!"

* * *

…_hey, everyone! It's me, Jamie, your perfectest, most beautiful hostess for the story!_

_Did you see those awesome shoes my daddies gave me? Aren't they pretty? I'm gonna wear them all, teehee! When I got the shoes as presents, I was so excited that I couldn't sleep!_

_But… I think that mommy didn't like the shoes._

_That night, when she was putting me to sleep, she was crying. I think she thought I was sleeping, but what baby doesn't know when her mommy is crying? So I told her, "Mommy! The shoes are really pretty, so don't be sad! I'll share them with you, if you want!"_

_And then, after that, mommy said something to me._

"_Jamie…today was such a happy day, right love? Right…?"_

_And then she fell asleep with a smile on her face. _

* * *

**A/N: Well, thanks to anyone who's reading this. It's been a LONG time, but my goal is to finish this. It's not that I don't have an outline, but I just couldn't seem to type it out, and for that failure I apologize again. (For the Randy/June lovers, check out my I-Pod Shuffle. There's a chapter completely dedicated to Randy/June plot bunnies! Again, I am so sorry for the half-year hiatus…)**

**I know the hospital scenes seem separate from the main storyline, but the two will merge later on in the story, and with good reason.**

**And by the way...my personal favorite (active) wrestlers are Rey Mysterio (numbah 1!), Christian, Shelton Benjamin, HBK, Dave Batista, and Gail Kim. That means that I am pretty much neutral towards Randy, Jeff, and John, and I don't have a preference for one over the other. Hence why the poll is back up! Vote for your favorite candidate for Junie's love and Jamie's paternity on my profile!**


	25. Potty Mouths

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Twenty-Five: Potty Mouths**

"_Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." _

_That saying never made a lick of sense to me. Why wouldn't you want your friends to be the people closest to you? Maybe I've just never thought about it enough, but you'd be surprised at what a difference it can make to stay close to your friends._

_Mommy's like that, you know? She only keeps her friends close. If she doesn't like someone, she doesn't normally say it, but she doesn't really go near them either. Take that poopyhead, Mr. Edge! Mommy doesn't like him. She doesn't say so, but she also makes it clear she isn't his friend either. And that's a good thing. It's really uncomfortable to be around someone you don't like! It's stressful!_

_And everyone knows that stress gives old people wrinkles! Yuck!_

_On the other hand, mommy takes the time to be close to people like Auntie Lita and Miss Haley! She really really __**really**__ likes and admires them. I like them too! Auntie Lita is so awesome with her red hair, her funky music, and her cool clothes…and Miss Haley is really pretty! She's got __gold and brown hair, and she has big brown eyes just like me and mommy!_

_I want gold in my hair too! Maybe I'll ask Daddy Jeff to use his hair dye thingies and change some of my hair to match Miss Haley's! Will that make mommy mad, though?_

…_what was I talking about, again? Oh yeah. Friends and icky enemies._

_You can always find comfort in the company of someone you like and know well. Also, it's always much better to be in a familiar place if you're feeling scared and alone. During bad times, friends will support you and take care of you. Someone who isn't really your friend will never do something like that—they'll probably laugh at you and tease you for feeling scared. Luckily for me, I never went too far from the people and places I knew well, and I never strayed too far away from my mommy and daddies._

…

_I guess that's why I'm always happy._

* * *

When June had first moved into the apartment with the boys, she hardly slept more than a few hours at a time. Strange noises would jerk her from dreams and leave her tense and rigid with an ominous dread of what might be lurking around the corner. Constantly on edge, her eyes would create monsters from shadows, and she was forever haunted by a feeling of emptiness, especially when memories of Todd surfaced in her mind.

It grew to the point where, even after Jamie was born, June would sometimes steal the tiny infant from her crib and sleep with her daughter cradled to her chest. She always felt the emptiness dissipate when Jamie snuggled closer to her bosom, and in turn, she knew that Jamie slept better on the bigger, softer mattresses than she did in her little crib. The warmth of her child's tiny body, coupled with the knowledge that this precious, darling little creature needed her and loved her, had helped June get past the first lonely months with her mind intact.

But as the days went by, as she slowly grew familiar with the creaks of the floorboards and the shuffling of John's feet as he took his midnight trips to the bathroom, she began to sink into sleep too thick for sounds or movement to slip through. Although she still occasionally slept with Jamie curled in her arms, the baby could have plopped on her stomach, painted her face with markers, and have gummed on her ear all night long, and yet June wouldn't have woken even once.

That was why she hardly stirred when she felt a slight shift in the bed.

Seconds, minutes, hours later—June would never be sure how much time had passed—the young mother moaned softly and rolled over, one arm stretched as she tried to wrap it around her daughter.

"Jamie…"

She froze when her fingers grasped at nothing but cold blankets.

Suddenly alert, June jerked herself out of bed and peeked under the blankets and bed covers. Nothing. "Jamie?" Her hands yanked the sheets off the mattress, but there was still nothing. "Jamie!" At this point the young mother began to panic, haphazardly checking under the bed as she tried to ignore the growing terror clutching at her heart. Where was she? Where was her baby girl? "No, no, no, no…Jamie! Jamie, where are you? JAMIE!"

She ran out into the hallway, dashing into the living room and switching on the lights just as Randy, Jeff, and John trudged out of their rooms, half asleep and blinking heavily at the sudden flood of lights. "Wha—what's wrong, Junie?" Jeff asked, trying to stifle a yawn. "You were screaming…"

"Jamie's gone!" June cried, her eyes filling with tears. "Jeff, I—I can't find her!"

"What?" All three men jerked themselves out of their sleep-induced trance, and they each gave the young mother horrified stares. "What do you mean, she's gone?" Randy demanded. "You two sleep in the same damn room!"

June let out a low wail of despair. "I know that! But—but she's just gone! She was sleeping next to me, but when I woke up, I just couldn't find her! Oh, Jamie! JAMIE!" She blindly looked behind the couch and behind the curtains, trying her hardest not to fall apart.

_Jamie! Oh god, what if something happened to her? I'm the worst mother in the world! What if she's been kidnapped? What if she's hurt? What if she's scared and terrified? What if she's—_

Suddenly, a strong pair of hands grabbed her by the shoulders and gently pushed her down onto the sofa. Blinking, June looked up, and was just barely able to make out John's worried face through her increasingly blurry vision. "J-John…"

"Just calm down, okay Junie?" the young detective said quietly. "Don't lose your cool. All the doors are still locked, and there aren't any signs of forced entry, so she's probably still around here somewhere."

"But—but John…!"

"She's probably in one of our rooms. Just stay here, okay?" With that, John, Jeff, and Randy all split up, the latter two checking each other's bedrooms while John headed towards June and Jamie's room. The young detective made quick work of searching under Jamie's crib, the closet, even the small trash bin that was placed next to the door, but his efforts were fruitless. "Damn it…she's not here!"

"What do you mean?" Randy yelled, poking his head outside his door. "That's impossible! She has to be there! A little kid like that doesn't go off and disappear by herself!"

"Look harder!" Jeff said loudly, looking disgruntled as he came out of his room empty-handed. "She's gotta be here somewhere! Jamie! Baby girl, if you're here, say something!"

"Jamie!"

"Baby girl!"

"Damn it, you little brat! Come out! You're giving us all heart attacks!"

Throughout all of this, June sat rigidly on the sofa, her face becoming paler and paler as each of the boys' attempts to find the tiny infant ended in failure. A million thoughts ran through her mind, each one more unpleasant than the last. _Robbery, kidnapping, ransom, rape, murder… _Her own thoughts plagued her mercilessly, and she was on the verge of picking up the phone and calling the FBI when suddenly, she heard it.

_Fluuuuuush!_

There were sounds of water whirling around a porcelain base as the toilet flushed repeatedly in the bathroom. June froze, as did Randy, Jeff, and John. No one was using the bathroom, and if they all were _here_, then that meant…

"Gack!" Jamie's familiar squeak, followed by the sounds of laughter emerged from the bathroom, and all four of the roommates stared at each other in disbelief before making a mad sprint towards the bathroom…

…and promptly paling at what they found there.

"Gack!"

Standing in front of them was the little baby, laughing happily as she dipped her arms into the swirling toilet water. Next to her was the dog, Jack, as he blissfully lapped up the water with his tongue. _Oh boy! _Jamie giggled, scooping some of the toilet water into her hands before proceeding to sip at it. _This water is great, Jack-Jack! No wonder you try to drink out of the toilet all the time! YUM! …huh? _

Realizing that there were other people in the room, the little baby looked up innocently at her mother and possible fathers. Then, she smiled sweetly and held out a wet fist.

_Hi, mommy! Hi, Daddy Jeff! Daddy Randy! Daddy John! Come and try this water! It's really good!_

"Oh…oh god…" June's face turned a nasty green, before she let out a horrified shriek and snatched her child into her arms. "Jamie! Spit it out! Spit it out!" June quickly wiped Jamie's mouth with a nearby washcloth, trying to block out the possibility that the toilet had _not_ been flushed by the person who used it last. "That's not something you should be drinking!"

"Awwoooo!" Jamie squirmed and gave her mother an angry pout. _No, mommy! I wanna drink the water! It's really tasty! You should try it too! Lemme go and drink some more water!_

"How'd you even get down here anyway?" June went on, hugging the little baby hard against her chest as she shooed the dog away from the toilet. "Don't you know how worried you made me? You scared me so much! You're not hurt, are you? Jamie…"

By the doorway, Randy, Jeff, and John watched silently as the young mother peppered Jamie with kisses, despite the infant's continuous attempt to reach the toilet seat again. "I think," Jeff said finally, "that it's going to get a lot harder to watch after Jamie now. I know she just started to walk and all, but she climbed out of bed and walked all the way to the bathroom, all by herself…"

"Well, this is just fantastic, isn't it?" Randy muttered darkly. "Not only do we have to look after a brat, but we now have to look after a _mobile_ brat." He then glanced at the toilet seat, and swore. "Damn it, why the hell did she have to drink that water? It's disgusting. Who used the bathroom last, anyway?"

He glared at Jeff, who quickly shook his head. He then turned to John…who had an abnormally guilty look on his face.

"Cena?"

"…"

"It was you, wasn't it?"

"…"

"…"

John lowered his gaze. "Yes."

"UGH! You stupid son-of-a—"

"You didn't take a big one, did you?" Jeff interrupted warily, making a face as the thought of Cena doing his "business" in the bathroom suddenly flashed across his mind. "And—and you flushed twice, right?"

"…"

"RIGHT?"

John lowered his gaze even more and fidgeted. "It wasn't that big! I mean—it was just—it was—err—" He stammered and cringed and tried to avoid the accusing eyes of the others, before he finally hung his head and sighed. "…it was big."

"WHAT?" Both Jeff and Randy sputtered indignantly, completely unable to process what John had just said. Eventually, Randy managed to pull his wits about him and went over to June, grabbing the young mother by the hand as he pulled her (and consequentially Jamie, who was still in her mother's arms) to her feet. "Junie, let's go to the hospital," he said in a deadly serious voice. "We have to pump out Jamie's stomach! Who knows what deadly toxins Cena could have left in that toilet seat?"

"HEY! I'm right _here_, you know!" John threw an insulted glare in Randy's direction, but the Legend Killer simply ignored him and tightened his hold on June.

"Come on, Junie! Time's running out! That kid of yours could have ingested something poisonous!"

"Guys, just calm down," June said quietly, patting a fussy Jamie on the back as she pulled her hand out of Randy's grasp. Turning to John, she gave the red-faced and clearly embarrassed detective a soft smile. "John…"

"Y-yes, Junie?"

"You flushed twice, right?"

"Y-yes! I flushed completely! Please don't hate me…"

"I could never hate you!" June replied, letting out a small laugh as she carried a less-than-happy Jamie back to their room. "John, don't worry. If there seems to be something wrong with Jamie tomorrow, I'll have Dr. Funaki and Dr. McCool check her out in the morning."

"Oh." John looked visibly relieved. "Okay then. I'm really sorry about this…"

"It's alright. I'm just glad Jamie's safe." Pressing another kiss to her daughter's temple (to which the baby responded only with an angry pout), June gave the three men a smile. "Sorry to wake you up at this hour, guys. I'll make a big breakfast in the morning to make it up to you, okay? Goodnight!" With that, she disappeared into her room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

As soon as she was out of sight, Jeff quickly slapped John upside the head while Randy simultaneously kicked the young detective hard in the shins.

"OW!" John yelped, hopping on one foot while trying to clutch at his injured head at the same time. "What the fuck, man?"

"Why the hell did ya have to go and take a dump in the middle of the night?" Jeff snapped, his fists clenched and twitching. "If Jamie literally gets sick because of your crap, I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!"

"It's not my fault!" the young detective protested. "We drank beer last night, remember? You guys know I get diarrhea if I drink too much!"

"D-diarrhea?" Randy paled, before he headed off towards June's room. "Junie! It's not too late! We can still go to the hospital—" He was suddenly cut off when John clamped a hand over his mouth and dragged him away from June's door.

"Shut up!" John whispered harshly. "Junie said she would take Jamie to the doctor if anything was wrong in the morning! And I'll flush _three _times from now on, okay? Three times! Get off my back!"

"…"

"…"

"You better get your hands off me, Cena."

"Then stop screaming at Junie to go to the hospital, Orton!"

"Agh…" Jeff sighed and rubbed his temples, casting a worried look towards June's room. "Damn it all…I just hope Jamie's okay…"

* * *

The next morning, John pressed a hand firmly against the tiny infant's forehead, earning him a confused look from Jamie as she guzzled down her bottle of apple juice.

_Daddy John, what's wrong? You keep feeling my face every ten seconds, and you look like someone made you eat yucky broccoli! …you're sick, aren't you? Mommy, give Daddy John a kiss! That'll make him feel much better!_

"She's not making any weird noises," the young detective said finally, pulling his hand away as he slumped back into his seat at the breakfast table. "And her expression is good too, thank goodness."

Jeff snorted, squirting several globs of honey into his oatmeal before shoveling a large spoonful into his mouth. "Cena, you ain't no doctor. How the hell would you know for sure that she's okay?"

"Don't worry, guys," June replied, smiling as she slid plates of hot bacon and scrambled eggs in front of both boys. "I watched her all night. She seems to be okay. Jamie actually seems to be more energetic than usual, to be honest." The young mother then threw Jeff a worried look. "Are you sure you'll be fine with watching her by yourself? With all this extra energy, I'm scared she'll run you ragged…"

Jeff waved a hand in the air in dismissal. "Nah, don't worry. I got me an airtight bulletproof plan for keeping Jamie under control. You just relax and focus on your work today, okay?"

"Well…" June bit her lip nervously as her eyes slowly turned to Jamie. In turn, the little baby continued to suck on her bottle, her large, round brown eyes blinking innocently as she stared at her mother.

_Why are you looking at me like that, mommy? I didn't do anything bad, honest! …well, if this is about the time your favorite hanky-chief suddenly got covered in drool…it wasn't me! It was…um…it was Daddy John! Yeah, that's it! It was Daddy John, dawg!_

"Say," John commented suddenly, as he took a cursive look around the table, "where's Orton? Is he still sleeping?"

"He wasn't in his room," June said, sitting down as she placed her own bowl of oatmeal and honey in front of her. "I think he went out…oh!" She looked up as Randy stepped into the dining room with a large plastic bag. "Here he comes now! Morning, Randy!"

"Where were you?" John cut in, just as the Legend Killer opened his mouth to greet June. "You almost missed breakfast. Not that I minded, though…there would have been more food for the rest of us…"

"Go jump off the bridge," Randy stated flatly, before he turned his attention towards June. "Junie…the kid's okay, right? I can still drive you both to the hospital if you want to get her stomach checked out."

"Jamie's fine," June said quickly, placing one hand on John's arm to calm him down (and to prevent him from killing Randy where he sat). "She's behaving normally, so you don't have to worry, love."

"She's got a strong stomach," Jeff added, absentmindedly tossing a piece of his bacon towards a patiently waiting Jack. "I can't believe that Jamie drank that poisonous water and _still _slept soundly!"

John scowled. "It wasn't poisonous," he mumbled, only to perk up when June placed another batch of warm eggs onto his plate. "Alright! Thanks, Junie…"

"Anyway…" Randy reached into the bag and pulled out several packets of brown pills. "I went to the pharmacy specifically to get these. Everyone, take one of these after breakfast, okay? We have to take one every three days, so don't miss your dosage. This shit was expensive…"

"Hmm." June turned the pill over in her hand, studying the shape carefully. "Randy, is this vermicide?"

"Vermicide?" Jeff stared at the pill in shock and disgust while John stared at it blankly. "What the hell, Orton? I ain't taking no vermicide! We don't have worms in our stomach!"

"Actually," June murmured quietly, "I think it's a good idea…"

"What?" Jeff and John (and Randy, much to his own surprise) stared June in disbelief. "Junie," John said slowly, as if he was still struggling to process what was going on around him, "am I…am I hearing you right? Are you actually…_agreeing_ with something Randy did? I mean, the jerk's implying that we all have worms growing in our stomach!"

"Well, he's eating a pill too," June pointed out, watching the Legend Killer gulp down his dosage of vermicide with _much _displeasure on his face. "And it never hurts to be safe. Still, I'm really touched, Randy. I can't believe you went out to the pharmacy this early in the morning, just to get this for us!"

Randy flushed with embarrassment and coughed nervously, keeping his eyes away from June's. "It's nothing. I just don't want the brat to get sick, that's all, especially considering her weird little habits and all. And…" He reached into the bag again and began pulling out box after box of medicines, bandages, and even more pills. He tossed a small packet at Jeff, and said sternly, "Here. This is for that mutt of yours."

"His name's Jack, asshole," the rainbow-hair artist grumbled, before he turned the packet over and made a face. "Ugh. More vermicide? Man, Jack's gonna keel over dead if you make me stuff all this medicinal crap down his throat…"

"What about Jamie?" John asked curiously. "Doesn't she need these pills too?"

"It's bad for babies under the age of two to take vermicide, dumbass," Randy snapped. "That's common sense!"

"Hey, I didn't know!" John retorted defensively. "I was just wondering!"

"Whatever. But that's not the point. Do you even know how much I had to pay for all this medicine? It wasn't exactly chump change! I mean, look at this—" he held up several medicine bottles and scowled "—fever medicine, cold medicine, digestive supplements, diarrhea medicine, ointments, special baby bandages…damn it!" Randy swore. "I don't get why there's so much stuff! And band-aids for kids are _ridiculously _expensive! I paid almost SEVENTY dollars for this shit! SEVENTY DOLLARS!"

"Oh, you poor thing," Jeff said dryly. "You spent so much money this morning. It must have burned a hole in your heart, as well as in your wallet…"

"This is still a problem, though," June said quietly, running her fingers through the baby's dark, curly tresses. "Jamie's getting so much more active now. We have to keep a closer eye on her. Who knows what kind of mischief she'll get herself into…?"

The four then turned a wary eye towards Jamie, who only giggled in return and gave them her sweetest, most innocent expression.

* * *

"…_Mrs. Grisham?"_

"_Yes, Mr. Jericho?" _

"_Tell me a story."_

"_Pardon me?" _

"_Tell me a story, Mrs. Grisham. Please?" _

"…_how old are you, again?"_

"_Thirty-eight. What's your point?"_

"_Aren't you a tad too old for bedtime stories?" _

"_You're only as old as you think you are, ma'am."_

"_Ah, yes. I forgot about that. I'm probably one-hundred and seventy-five, in that case."_

"_You? Nah. Naaaaaaah. You're too pretty to be THAT old."_

"_Flatterer! And just how old do you think you are, Mr. Jericho?"_

"_I don't know, but it's definitely not too old for bedtime stories. I like your stories."_

"_Mr. Jericho…"_

"_Aw, don't look at me like that. I know this is kind of juvenile, but I have to cheat sometimes. We all do. Little things like these make the going much less tough."_

* * *

It had been a little over two weeks since Chris Jericho had first been admitted to the hospital.

In that short amount of time alone, June had been forced to endure not only the Canadian's temper tantrums, but his constant mood swings and occasional periods of insane ranting as well. In addition, she frequently found herself breaking up several major run-ins that Chris would instigate with the other doctors of the hospital. Unfortunately, by the end of the two weeks, June realized that she was one of only two people in the entire building who would _willingly_ partake in Chris Jericho's company.

It was really no surprise that things ended up that way. The blonde was rude and cutting to almost all of the doctors and staff, including Vickie herself (though why the woman had yet to throw him out of the hospital was anybody's guess). But in particular, he had recently become very hostile to Rey Mysterio, and June just could not—_could not_—understand why. Sure, Rey had "accidentally" spilled some chocolate sauce into Chris's hair during one of his naps, but surely that was no reason to despise the Hispanic doctor, was it?

"It's a _hair _thing," Gail explained calmly. "Believe it or not, Chris used to have a head full of long, gorgeous looking hair. It's a shame he cut it off to this length now. His long hair was one of the trademarks that used to make his fangirls go wild every time he stepped out the door."

"His hair is still nice," June argued, keeping her voice low as Chris dozed quietly in the background. "This style is more modern."

"True." An impish smile suddenly pushed its way past Gail's lips. "His hair is still very pleasing to the eye. I mean, for some reason…women still find it tempting…to do _this_."

The Asian doctor suddenly shot out a hand and flattened Chris's spiky blonde hair, earning an immediate, horrified reaction from the man as he instantly jerked himself from his nap, screaming while tumbling headfirst out of bed.

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGH! OH MY GOD, SOMEONE'S TRYING TO RAPE MY IMAGE AND GOOD LOOKS! HELP! HEEEEEEEEEEEELP! SADIST! SICKO! MURDERER!"

Still, she had quickly become accustomed to the pace of life that had come along with Chris's admission, and she actually enjoyed herself when she wasn't trying to stop the other doctors and nurses from murdering the Canadian in his sleep due to his near-insufferable attitude. Gail and Paul Wight were being neglectful of him, but they did drop by every so often with enough medication and sedatives to dull the pain in Chris's body.

When they didn't medicate him (or rather, didn't want to be near him, _period_), June would be asked (or rather, begged shamelessly) by the Big Show to help Chris with his therapy, and keep him distracted enough so that he wouldn't have the chance to irritate the other members of the staff.

She could have refused. It would have been easy to. But she never had the heart to say no.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Dave commented one day, looking rather sullen as she returned tired and fatigued to the Research Task Force office. "You're _my _employee, not Big Show's. I can tell that overdeveloped grizzly bear to leave you alone and handle Jericho on his own…like he's _supposed _to do."

June shook her head, a small smile gracing her lips. "It's fine, Dr. Batista. Chris is actually a very intriguing person, once you get past his exterior shell."

"That's not what Rey tells me. I heard that even Vickie has trouble holding back the urge to wring Jericho's neck."

"Oh, honestly! I know that some of the staff members have _issues _with Mr. Jericho, but he's a decent person under his unusual mannerisms. He's just a very big kid, to tell you the truth…"

"He's too old to be acting the way he does. I don't want you to become burdened because of him. If he ever bothers you, don't be afraid to tell me." The large doctor suddenly punched his fist into his other hand, startling June as a loud _smack _echoing loudly throughout the small room. The young mother looked up at Dave in alarm, and was surprised by the amount of concern and apprehension she found in his countenance. "I'm just worried about you, June," he said finally, his voice becoming low and somber as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "He's exhausting you, and no one else is even attempting to help the situation. I'll break him in half if he ever hurts you."

"D-Dr. Batista…"

As she reflected back on that event, June felt a rush of heat seep into her cheeks. She could still feel his strong hands on her frail shoulders, and the closeness of their two bodies still sent shivers up her spine. Damn that man. He was too handsome for his own good. It was bad enough she found herself physically attracted to him, but when one also took into consideration his protectiveness and charming politeness, June found it increasingly difficult to remain loyal to Todd's memory.

_I have to stay faithful to Todd. I have to stay faithful to Todd…_

Even if she _did _want to become romantically attached to Dave, forming a non-professional bond would be awkward to pull off. After all, she _was _one of his employees, and employer-employee relationships were generally frowned upon. The last thing she wanted to do was tarnish his reputation, especially after all of the wonderful things he had done for her.

And it certainly didn't help that she was a mother of a small infant. Men usually didn't enter relationships with single mothers unless the children were grown, and seeing that he already had two full grown daughters of his own…

Well, she was afraid that _they _wouldn't like _her_.

…_oh, what am I thinking? _June sadly pushed those thoughts away as she headed off towards the Research Task Force office. _It's not like Dr. Batista even considers me in that light, anyway. There's nothing about me that would attract such a wonderful man like him. I'm not pretty, I'm a widowed mother, and I'm just a lowly medical assistant. I'm hardly worth a second glance…I should be grateful that he even bothers to be polite to me…_

CRUNCH.

June suddenly froze. What on earth had she just stepped on…?

She looked down and saw broken bits of glazed ceramic scattered all over the floor. Dark brown liquid was splattered in every direction, and from the familiar smell, June quickly realized that it was coffee.

…_why…why is there a broken coffee cup on the floor?_

The shattered cup was right in front of Chris Jericho's door. From the ice-cold temperature of the spilled coffee on the floor, it had most likely been dropped a while ago…and yet none of the janitors were at the scene. This was highly irregular, as Finlay and Hornswoggle had a reputation of finding and cleaning any spills within the span of five minutes. Not only that, but the young mother also noticed that all of the nurses in the surrounding area seemed to be purposefully avoiding the mess, keeping a distance of at least ten feet away at all times.

_What's going on? It's not like the coffee had been carrying some kind of plague or anything…right? And Chris isn't THAT bad during his temper tantrums…_

Sighing quietly, June set herself to the task of cleaning up the mess (since it was obvious that no one else was going to). As she carefully picked up the broken pieces of ceramic, she soon became aware of harsh, angry yells coming from within the room. She easily picked out Chris's irritated rants and tried her best to ignore him, but she immediately froze upon hearing Vickie Guerrero's voice as well.

And neither person sounded very happy.

"Vickie, I am the number one patient in this hospital right now, and you damn well know it—"

"Being one of the top shareholders of my company does _not_ give you the right to insult my fiancé like that, Chris! Now I demand that you apologize—"

"APOLOGIZE? YOU MUST BE JOKING!"

"Oh god." Fearing the emergence of a full-scale fight (or an act of murder, if Vickie finally lost her patience with Chris), June went against her better judgment and cautiously poked her head into the room, ready to step in and create a distraction if things became too out of hand.

What she saw immediately put her on edge.

There were four people in the room, and not one of them seemed the least bit happy. From his clenched fists and the dark red flush in his cheeks, it was clear that Chris was on the verge of lashing out violently, despite his bedridden state. Vickie was standing next to his bed, and she looked absolutely furious on her part.

This scenario made June very, _very _nervous. It wasn't because the two looked as if they were about to rip each other apart (although that _did_ frighten her to a large extent). No, what really terrified her was the fact that Edge was calmly watching all of this in the background with a smug grim on his face, without making the slightest effort to alleviate the obvious tension in the room.

_What is that man doing? Does he __**want **__Mr. Jericho and Miss Vickie to hurt one another?_

"Chris," Vickie snarled through gritted teeth, "this is the last time I'm going to say this. Calm down and keep _quiet_…or else I'll order the Big Show to sedate you! AGAIN!"

"HA!" The blonde Canadian snorted. "If that fatass comes near me with that needle one more time, I'll sue this hospital for all it's worth! If anything, that prissy show-pony fiancé of yours is the one who should be apologizing—"

"I thought I told you to leave Adam out of this, you smarmy little—"

"Ms. Guerrero." A short, slender woman, who was wearing a smart-looking business suit, gently touched Vickie's arm. "It might be prudent to remember Chris's position in your company, as well as your own standing."

"…"

"Don't say anything you might regret."

"…right." Vickie took a long, deep breath, before her body visibly relaxed and loosened up. "Thanks, Haley. Don't know what I would do without you as my counselor, these days."

"Let's just go back to the point at hand, shall we?" Haley went on sternly, although her brown eyes were gleaming brightly from behind her black-rimmed glasses. "Mr. Jericho…"

"_What_?" Chris snapped, still irritated and moody.

"Regarding the matter between yourself and Mr. Copeland…"

"_He_ started it!" Chris yelled, pointing a finger at the still grinning Edge. "Guerrero, I'm surprised this son-of-a-cucumber-scumbag is even your fiancé! Do you even know what he said to me? He insulted my wife!"

"All I said was the truth!" Edge retorted defensively. "It's not my fault your wife's starting to look like an anorexic stick figure, is it? I was just merely stating the obvious!"

"WHY YOU—"

"Besides," Edge went on, blatantly ignoring the increasingly angry Chris, "it doesn't excuse the fact that you tried to assault me! You threw your goddamned coffee cup at my head! I could have _died_ from blunt force trauma!"

_What a drama queen._ June rolled her eyes before she stared down at her hands, which were still holding the broken pieces of the coffee cup. _So that's why this was out there. Glad I wasn't here for Mr. Jericho's tantrum… _She shook her head as she threw the ceramic into a nearby trashcan.

"Mr. Jericho!" Haley stared at Chris in shock, while Vickie went to comfort Edge about his "near-death" experience with Chris's coffee cup. "Your actions could be taken as attempted assault and battery! You're lucky it didn't hit anyone!"

"Ha!" Chris snorted aloud. "Lucky? Forgive me, Ms. Mariano, but 'lucky' is a perfect word to describe Copeland, not me. That bastard goes and—and—what do you hotshot lawyers call it again…? Oh yeah! That bastard _slanders_ my wife in front of me, and yet you people are talking about suing me over a coffee grenade that completely missed its mark? You fucking hypocrites! I outta—"

At this point, June took the chance to step in. "Pardon me…"

She must have spoken louder than she realized, for everyone jumped at the sound of her voice and turned towards her, staring as if she had suddenly grown a second head. "What are you doing here, Mrs. Grisham?" Chris said stupidly, as Vickie coughed nervously in the background. "It's not time for my therapy session yet, is it?"

"Actually—" June checked her wristwatch "—it is. I think Dr. Wight will be doing some work on your bad leg today."

"Him?" Chris frowned, but in contrast, his anger lessened to a noticeable degree. "Darn, I don't like Big Show. Can't you or Gail help me with my rehab again? I don't want to be manhandled by that fatass."

"You really shouldn't call him that…"

"But it's TRUE!" Chris insisted, looking very much like a hurt little boy. "He's huge, and his body is actually very similar to Shrek's! I have proof!"

"Mr. Jericho…"

Haley let out a quiet sigh of relief as she and Vickie moved back, both women grateful to the young mother for suddenly taking over. Meanwhile, June gently pulled Chris to his feet and helped him sit down in nearby wheelchair. All the while, she made sure to keep up a steady stream of chatter.

"I don't know, Mr. Jericho. I leave you alone for one moment and you're off trying to pick fights with Miss Vickie and Mr. Copeland. If you think that's going to impress anyone on staff, you have another thing coming."

"But it's not my fault," Chris grumbled, his bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly.

"Don't look at me like that," June chastised sternly, as a mother would to her child. "I know you can pout with the best of them. We're all adults here, so whatever it is that you and Miss Vickie are fighting about, can't you put it behind you and move on? This is a place to get well, and it's certainly not going to happen if everyone's shouting and fighting and throwing coffee mugs at one another."

Chris flailed helplessly. "But Mrs. Grisham…!"

"No, Mr. Jericho." June crossed her arms and gave him a firm stare. "Just let it go."

"But _June_…"

"No."

"But…"

"_No._"

"…"

"…"

Chris pouted and slumped low in his wheelchair. "_Fine._"

"Good." June laughed, her smile instantly lighting up her entire face as she pushed him out of the room. "Now, let's go see Dr. Wight. I'm sure he's wondering where you are—oh!" The wheelchair suddenly bumped into something solid, and June quickly looked up to realize that Dave was standing in front of her, blocking her way. "Dr. Batista! What brings you here?"

"I got a little worried when you didn't come back," Dave explained quietly, giving the young mother a small smile. "Giving blood samples to the lab doesn't normally take twenty minutes."

The young mother blushed, and lowered her gaze in embarrassment. "S-sorry, sir…I got a bit sidetracked."

"And I can see why." Dave's eyes narrowed as he glared down at Chris, who returned his glare with just as much intensity. "Jericho."

Chris scowled. "Bah-tees-tah."

"I see that you're hogging up my employee's time and energy…_again_."

"What can I say, big guy? Mrs. Grisham happens to be one of the few people who still know the meaning of the word 'respect' around here. Her and Ms. Mariano, of course." The blonde threw a flirtatious smile at Haley, who scoffed and dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "Hell, I wish Mrs. Grisham was a full-fledged doctor. Then I wouldn't have to go to that fat lard you call Big Show, and I definitely wouldn't have to go to an _animal _like you, Dave!"

"…" A muscle twitched in the large doctor's jaw, and for a moment, June saw a look of anger flash across Dave's facial features. But just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished, replaced by a grin that didn't seem genuine in the least. "Why don't you tell that to Big Show personally, then?" Dave said in a too-cheerful voice. "In fact, I think I see him around that corner over there. Hey, WIGHT—"

"Actually, I think a nurse should take Mr. Jericho to his session before it's too late," June said quickly, unwilling to be a witness to a potential murder scene. The young mother wheeled Chris towards a nearby candy striper and sent the two towards the Big Show's department, trying to ignore the frazzled look on the poor candy striper's face when Chris started to whine and complain loudly about being put in the hands of an amateur. "Poor Mr. Jericho," June murmured when the blonde was rolled out of sight. "I feel kind of bad for him…"

"What's to feel bad about?" Dave said dryly, wrapping an arm around June's shoulders (and simultaneously causing her face to suddenly turn a bright crimson). "He dug his own grave, jumping off the top of the stage like that. It was a stage raised twenty-five feet in the air, and he chose to _dive _into the audience! Of course those people _weren't_ going to catch him! His injured spine and broken leg are the result of his own idiocy!"

She twiddled her thumbs, trying to will the red hues away from her cheeks. "I guess…"

"Thanks for handling him, June," Haley said gratefully, grinning at the young mother's attempts to stay calm and collected despite having Dave's arm draped over her shoulders. "I was afraid I'd have to ward off another lawsuit from him again. His lawyers threatened to sue the hospital five times this week alone."

"Flatterer! But thankfully we have you, Miss Haley," June replied, slipping out from under Dave's arm as she linked the lawyer's arm with hers. "There hasn't been one successful case of malpractice in this hospital since you've come on board!"

"And that's a godsend," Vickie commented, taking June's other arm as the three women walked out of the room, with a slightly disappointed Dave and a rather annoyed Edge following them from behind. (The men made sure to keep a noticeable distance from each other, however, as there was still a considerable amount of bad blood between them.) "Haley's been doing all sorts of research to keep the vultures away. She's even helped me with the legal procedures for my wedding!"

"And I wish she didn't," Edge grumbled, although his voice was so low that even Dave was barely able to hear him. "Damn pre-nups…"

"It's the least I can do, Vickie," Haley said kindly. "Weddings are a big thing for a woman of your high stature. You never know what can go wrong, so it never hurts to be prepared."

"I understand. But with Edge—" here, Vickie's eyes began to shine "—it's just so hard to think that anything could possibly go wrong with him! He's just so sweet and considerate of me…I can't ever imagine him hurting me."

"Mmm." Both June and Haley exchanged uncomfortable glances, but neither women had any heart to say otherwise. Finally, June forced a cheery look on her face and tightened her hold on the older woman. "Miss Vickie, you deserve to be happy. And if Mr. Copeland can make you smile that special smile, then I'm really glad for you!"

"Thank you, June!" Vickie laughed, before she checked her watch and gasped in horror. "Oh no! I promised the wedding planner that I'd meet with her ten minutes ago! Oh, I hope she's still there…damn that Jericho!"

"We should try to catch Alica, Vickie," Haley agreed. "You're paying her quite the fee—it's unlikely she'll walk out on such a big job." Turning to June, the lawyer gave the young mother a grin. "Call me, okay June? We can talk about Jamie's birthday plans with Lita later."

"Oh! Of course!" June nodded enthusiastically, before Dave wrapped his arms around her again and whisked her off towards the Research Task Force office, all the while whispering that she was working too hard and that she needed to take a break. As they left, Haley shook her head and sighed.

_Oh, June. If only you knew the way that handsome bastard looks at you…_

Haley then turned her attention towards Edge, with a rather sly look on her face. "Mr. Copeland…"

Edge looked up, scowling. "What do you want, Mariano?"

"This slipped my mind due to Mr. Jericho's earlier ranting, but one of your ex-wives happened to call this morning."

His scowl deepened. "Really, now?"

"Yes. She mentioned something about an advance in her alimony payments…"

"AGAIN?"

Haley's lips thinned, although the corners were twitching upwards ever so slightly. "_Yes,_ Mr. Copeland. _Again_. Should I call her back and tell her you're displeased?"

"No, I'll handle this myself, Ms. Mariano. Lord only knows what _you _might say to her." Edge brushed past Haley and Vickie as he angrily pulled out his cell phone, punching in numbers violently as he swore foully under his breath. "Damn leeches. Don't know why I ever married them…"

"Adam, don't pout," Vickie said soothingly, as she tried to catch up with her fiancé. "We still have our own special day to look forward to, remember? Remember? Honey…"

As Haley walked behind the less-than-amorous pair, she spotted Paul "Hunter" Levesque, who was casually leaning against the wall while chatting with a clearly uncomfortable Rey Mysterio. As she passed by, their eyes locked for the briefest of moments, followed by a near-undetectable nod of the heads.

Then, Haley walked on, as if nothing had ever happened.

* * *

**A/N****: First off, this chapter took MUCH longer than planned. There was supposed to be more stuff in here too, but then I said, "Aw hell, it's already reaching nineteen pages and it's been about three freaking weeks and the readers are going to kill me if I make them wait any longer and to HELL with it I'm just going to post from here and hope they don't kill me. :|"**

**Second off, thanks much to _slashdlite_ and _I'mXAXRockstar_ for the reviews! And a special big thanks to _Westfan_ for letting me use her AWESOME, kickass character Haley for the story! (Because really, I don't see any of the current Divas with the ability to be a lawyer in real life, while Haley's personality makes her a perfect little lawyer/spy... :D) I just hope I portrayed Haley in a good light. I kept rewriting the chapter because I was afraid what I wrote wasn't good enough! It still isn't, actually! Is it okay that I gave her glasses? AGH! (Runs off and sobs in corner)**

**New poll results! I'm actually quite shocked at the results.**

**Randy Orton: 8 votes! (...wow. Really?)**

**John Cena: 4 votes (Honestly, I thought he would be ahead.)**

**Jeff Hardy: 4 votes (Well, he's actually where I thought he would be. :3)**

**Dave Batista: 1 vote (AW! Batista got only one vote?)**

**Have Them All: 1 vote (...HA! Someone actually picked this?)**


	26. I’m Trash, Take Me With You

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Twenty-Six: I'm Trash, Take Me With You**

_Have you ever had a time in your life when you wanted to believe in something? Like, you really, __**REALLY**__ wanted to believe in this one little thing, but you kept getting little niggling doubts about it? _

_It's like that time when I was still in preschool. I always believed in Santa, but then one day an older kid told me that Santa wasn't real! That—that poopyhead! I told him that he was a liar, but he told me that I was stupid for believing in such a babyish thing! Ooooooh, let me tell you this—I kicked him right in the shins for saying that, and I yelled that Santa __**was**__ real, and that when Christmas came, all he was gonna get was a big ole' lump of coal!_

_But…but you know…after that fight, I never really believed in Santa as much as I did before. I just couldn't forget about what he said. What if that older kid was right? What if Santa __**doesn't **__exist?_

_And then mommy sat me down one day, and told me gently that—that Santa wasn't real. I was disappointed when I found out…I cried so much! And as it turns out, the Easter Bunny isn't real either, and the Tooth Fairy's fake too!_

_I started wondering. What else had my mommy and daddies been lying to me about? They say you're supposed to be able to trust your parents more than anyone else in the world…but how can I, if they've been lying to me?_

_Let me tell you, doubt is a terrible thing. If you let it get a hold on you, it can ruin you._

* * *

John stared emotionlessly at the pile of paperwork on his desk, completely oblivious of the scurrying policemen around him.

_I don't get it. What's up with Orton? Since when did he become such an expert on babies?_

It baffled him, the way Randy had been able to present himself in such a knowledgeable light about childcare. And to make matters worse, the bastard had done it in front of June, making a very good impression on her while making _him _look like an idiot…

"Damn him!" John hissed, gritting his teeth. It just wasn't fair! He had studied from baby books too! In fact, even before Jamie's birth, he had poured endlessly through several manuals on childcare, readying himself for the baby's arrival because he had wanted to be Jamie's father from the very beginning. Sure, he couldn't actually remember what he had read in the books, but still_._

It was the thought that counted, wasn't it?

The young detective shook his head in frustration. He was losing ground with June. He couldn't let this happen—he had to study more. With this new resolve, John grabbed a baby book from under his desk and flipped it open, reading the first chapter intently as Steve came into the room with a large grin on his face.

"Alright, you sons-of-bitches!" the Texan greeted cheerfully. "Let's go get some lunch! It's on me, so don't choose a place that's too expensive, now…"

"So I guess Red Lobster is out of the question?" Ted asked stupidly, only to yelp a second later when Steve slapped him painfully on the back of the head. "OW! Austin, you jackass! What the hell was that for?"

"For being an ungrateful bastard," Steve replied dryly, before turning to John, who still had his nose in his book. "Come on, Cena. Let go grab some burgers."

"You guys go ahead," John replied absentmindedly. "I'm gonna study a bit."

"Study?" Steve blinked, before he snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "What's the point in you studying if you always fail your promotional test? I mean, let's face it. The fifth time is NOT going to be the charm, boy."

John said nothing—instead, he casually turned the page and continued reading.

"Well, fine then. Go ahead and starve for all I care." With Ted and Cody on his tail, Steve headed towards the door, but stopped momentarily and turned back towards the young detective. "By the way, Cena, there's a faculty dinner tonight. Plenty of free food and beer, if you wanna come!"

"Beer?" John thought for a moment, before he suddenly remembered what he himself had said the night before.

_Fuck, that's right…I get diarrhea if I drink too much…and if I get diarrhea again, then Jamie might…_

The young detective paled, before shaking his head wildly to clear the unwanted thoughts. "No, sir," John said finally. "I'm not going to drink beer anymore, Steve. I'm giving it up. I might even go home early, to tell the truth."

"You're giving up _beer_?" Cody repeated slowly. "You're actually giving up free food and beer…_and _you're going home early?" The young man stared at John in disbelief, until a small grin slowly pushed past his lips. "…oh, I get it. You're sick, aren't you, Cena? You've caught some creepy mental disease, and it's making you act all fucked up and stuff, isn't it?"

"Either that, or the world's ending," Ted commented. "This has gotta be the first sign of the apocalypse…"

Steve snorted again before heading out the door. "If that idiot doesn't want to eat, leave him alone. That leaves all the more for us, right boys?"

"Yeah!" Cody and Ted laughed as they followed Steve outside, leaving John alone as he diligently tried to memorize everything in the baby manual.

**Listening, understanding, and knowing the names of people and things are all components of language development. During this stage, your baby is also developing bonds of love and trust with you. The way you cuddle, hold, and play with your baby will set the basis for how he will interact with you and others…**

* * *

The harness was one of those stretchy ones, the kind that little old ladies used for their poodles. Jeff also used this harness on his own dog due to Jack's relatively small size, but because of a certain little baby's recent revelation of her amazingly mobile status, the rainbow-haired artist had found a new, unique use for the dog leash.

"GACK!" Jamie squeaked as the leash yanked her back onto the floor, only a few feet away from where Jeff was sitting. With one end of the blue harness tied around the tiny infant's waist and the other tied around the leg of Jeff's chair, Jamie was unable to walk for more than a few steps at a time, and she pouted periodically at her possible father, not at all enjoying her newfound position as his prisoner.

_Daddy Jeff, you numbnuts! What's the big idea, tying me to the dumb old chair like this? I'm not a doggie like Jack-Jack! You'd better let me go, or else I'll hate you forever! …or at least until my bath time tonight, because you and mommy always give the best baths! So YEAH! I'll hate you until bath time!_

Jamie angrily babbled and waved her chubby little arms in the air, trying to display her fury towards the rainbow-haired artist…who amazingly didn't seem to be too bothered by it. Instead, Jeff looked up from his artwork and grinned, grasping one end of the leash and giving it a little tug.

"Gaaaack!" Jamie shrieked, unhappy at the prospect of being pulled about like a puppy.

"Don't look at me like that, baby girl," Jeff chastised gently, reaching out and pinching the tiny infant on the cheek. "We can't have you running off, drinking nasty ole' toilet water again, can we? Now come on…show me that million-dollar-smile!"

The baby did no such thing—instead, she crossed her arms and tried to give her possible father the most intimidating look she had in her arsenal. Unfortunately, she wound up looking so cute that Jeff only ended up laughing with mirth.

"Aw damn! That's a perfect look for the next page! Can you hold your face like that for a little while, sweetheart?"

"Baaaaaa!" In anger-driven desperation, Jamie picked up part of the leash and tried to gnaw through it (a difficult task, given that she only had a few teeth), while Jeff continued his drawing with a smile.

His pencil darkened the outlines of a little baby girl, who was pouting as she tugged furiously at the dog leash around her neck. The picture was just one of many he had drawn of Jamie, for as the little infant grew older, Jeff had developed a habit of drawing animated versions of his possible daughter, along with comics depicting himself, Randy, and John as they tried (without success) to take care of their lady friend, who had unknowingly given birth to their child…

Suddenly, the front door opened and closed with a loud _slam_, and an exhausted-looking John trudged into the room a second later. "Jaaaaamie," he called out, his voice slightly raspy and filled to the brim with fatigue. "Jamie, come to daddy! He's got a very bad headache from reading too much, and he needs a hug right now…"

_Daddy John, Daddy John!_ Jamie tugged at the leash once more, before she began to make loud whimpering noises. _Daddy John, help! Daddy Jeff's being a buttwipe—he tied me up like a puppy! Give him an FU for me, Daddy John!_

"J-JAMIE!" John's jaw hit the floor upon seeing Jamie's bound state and he immediately rushed over to the tiny infant's side, pulling her off the leash and snatching her in his arms before glaring icily at a nonplussed Jeff. "Hardy, you asshole! What the hell do you think you're doing? Who told you to tie up my precious Jamie with a goddamn dog's leash?"

"Hmm?" Jeff stared at the harness, before he grinned. "Oh, this is something we _need_, Cena. You see, Jamie here can be quite fast when she wants to be. We need to make sure that she's safe at all times." The rainbow-haired artist untied the leash from the chair and quickly buckled up the harness at the back of his belt. "It's real convenient. I just attach it to my belt, and she can wander along fine." Jeff smirked as he gave Jamie a little affectionate poke in the shoulder. "You're just a trouble maker aren't you, baby girl?"

Jamie frowned and poked him back, which made Jeff laugh. John, on the other hand, was not amused.

"You…you've finally lost it," the young detective declared. "Hardy, those constant misses on the trampoline finally addled your brains, haven't they? You definitely have to be insane, to tie a baby to a fucking dog leash like this…"

"Cena," Jeff replied flatly, "the dog leash is a godsend. Don't take the harness off—she's been behaving so well before you came in."

"Shut your mouth!" John snapped, tightening his hold around Jamie's plush-like body. "Jamie's not your damn dog! She's _my _daughter, and you'll treat her as such!"

"_Whose_ daughter, Cena?"

"Fuck you!" Flipping his middle finger at the rainbow-haired artist, John carried Jamie out of Jeff's room. "Come on, Jamie; let's get away from Uncle Jeff. He's a bad man. Come and play with daddy…you like to play with daddy, don't you?"

"Gack!" Jamie cooed, reaching up and patting her tiny palms against her possible father's face. _Yeah, Daddy John! Let's go play! I wanna try swallowing that weird colored stuff under the sink again!_

As he watched them leave, Jeff sighed and shook his head. "Cena," he said wistfully, "you'll experience it too. Soon, you'll see just how energetic and active Jamie really is…and then you'll _beg _for the dog leash…"

* * *

**Jamie's Misadventure #1… **

_Oh wow! There's a birdie on the window! I'm gonna try to catch it!_

Jamie squealed as she crawled up towards the open window, sticking her head out and nearly falling over as she tried to reach for the bright red bird…

"JAMIE!"

Two strong hands wrapped around her waist, and Jamie squeaked as she felt the hands roughly yank her body back inside the house. Seconds later, she found herself staring face to face with a pale and terrified John Cena, who looked as if he was about to have a heart attack.

_Daddy John, what's wrong? You don't look so good…_

"Jamie, you can't play there!" John cried, shutting the window before setting the tiny infant down on a pile of soft cushions. "Just play over here where it's safe, okay? Jesus Christ…"

* * *

**Jamie's Misadventure #2… **

_Look! The eye of Mr. Kitty-Nibby came off!_

Jamie stared curiously at her stuffed tiger, holding the toy in one hand while grasping at the fallen button-eye with the other. She frowned, not knowing what to do, until her dangerously childish mind began to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

_Wait a minute…maybe the eye came off because it was SUPPOSED to come off. Why else would a toy company make small pieces? …unless I'm supposed to EAT the small pieces! Of course, it all makes perfect sense!_

With that, Jamie happily prepared to swallow the button, until she heard her mother's shrill scream explode from the other room.

"JAMIE! NOOOOOOOO! DON'T EAT THAT!"

Seconds later, Jamie found herself wrapped in her frantic mother's arms, with the button forcibly torn out of her hands.

* * *

**Jamie's Misadventure #3…**

"Ba, ba, ba."

Jamie slapped her hands onto Randy's laptop, pressing several keys at once as she giggled and cooed at the bright colors that flashed throughout the screen. She didn't know what she was seeing or what exactly she was doing, but she liked it. Pressing the "Delete" key over and over again, Jamie laughed when several of the pretty colors and pictures disappeared, until only a white screen remained in the end.

_Oh wow! This is fun! No wonder Daddy Randy likes to play with this laptop thing-a-ma-bobbie so much!_

"JAMIE!"

The tiny infant quickly looked up at the sound of Randy's horrified voice, and gave him her most innocent, angelic expression.

_Hi, Daddy Randy? Um… _She blinked at the laptop screen, which now turned a menacing dark blue. _Um…I didn't do it. You have no proof it was me! I plead the fifth!_

"Damn it, you little brat!" the Legend Killer spat, pressing desperately at the computer keys without success. "Do you know how long it took my men to make that report? Now I have to order them to start all over again!" Eyes narrowed, Randy picked Jamie up and held her until they were at each other's eye level. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself, kid? Huh? HUH? Say something, damn you!"

"…"

"…"

"Ba, ba, ba." Jamie giggled and reached out for Randy's face, her little palms pressing against his nose and cheek.

The Legend Killer froze, before he hung his head and sighed. "Goddamn it, Jamie…"

* * *

**Jamie's Misadventure #4…**

Jeff grinned as he put down his pencil and cracked his knuckles. "I'm finally done," he said proudly, staring at the pile of finished artwork on his desk. "Took me three fucking weeks, but I'm finally done…" He glanced down at Jamie, who was currently sitting on his lap, sucking her thumb with a bored expression on her face. "Baby girl, you wanna come and see the place where daddy works? If you do, I'll buy you ice cream and cookies when we come home…!"

_Ice cream? Cookies? _Jamie pulled her thumb out of her mouth and looked up at her possible father in awe. _Daddy Jeff, do you really mean it? Can I have a double-double-chocolate-fudge-cake-rocky-road-ice-cream? …with Oreo cookies on top? _

"You like that idea?"

_YEAH! _Jamie waved her arms in the air excitedly. _Bring on the ice-cream! Let's go, Daddy Jeff!_

Laughing, Jeff set the tiny infant on the ground and ran his fingers through her dark tresses, tresses that were beginning to greatly resemble her mother's. "Just stay here for a second, okay Jamie? Don't go anywhere." He headed towards his closet, pulling his shirt over his head as he searched for something clean to wear—which didn't take long at all, given that June had recently washed and folded all of his clothes.

It had taken him only about a minute to change, but it had taken even less time than that for Jamie to make her move. When Jeff turned around, zipping up the front of his hoodie, Jamie had already climbed on top of the chair and was holding a bottle of ink in her hand, just above the pile of drawings.

_Hmm! I wonder if I can make pretty pictures like Daddy Jeff? Let's see…he used think inky bottle right? How do I open it…?_

"JAMIE! OH MY GOD, NO!" Jeff paled and quickly rushed over to the little baby, grabbing her and snatching the ink bottle out of her hand. "Jamie, don't play with that!" he cried, waving the ink around wildly as he gave a confused Jamie a stern glare. In his panic, he didn't see the cap of the ink bottle flying off due to his movements. "You almost ruined daddy's artwork! It took me a long time to draw all of that, so please be careful—"

SPLAT.

…

The rainbow-haired artist froze, not daring to turn around or even think about what that sound could have been. But when he felt a slight wetness in his hand, he saw, out of the corner of his eye, that his entire right hand was covered in black ink. And behind him, his entire stack of drawings were now soaked with the dark liquid, many of the drawings completely ruined and distorted.

"Shit…"

…he regretted not keeping the leash on.

* * *

But it was okay.

At least, that was what Jeff told himself as he slowly handed his ruined, ink-covered artwork towards Trish. He had nothing to fear, because if he knew Trish at all, she would understand. Because Trish was a very mature and adult person with a kind, gentle soul, who definitely _wasn't_ controlled by her anger. There was no way she would kill him over this mishap, and she certainly wouldn't hold a grudge over him, just because their affair didn't exactly work out…

Jeff held his breath as he watched Trish thumb through the blotchy sketches, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was pounding painfully against his chest. As Jamie bounced vigorously in the soft front carrier, he tried to tell himself that everything was fine, that Trish _didn't _have a look of disgust and annoyance on her face, and that she _didn't _seem to appear to be on her very last nerve.

Yes, because everything was _okay_…wasn't it?

He was jerked out of his thoughts when the Trish suddenly dropped the drawings onto her desk, fixing him with a cold, unforgiving stare. "So what exactly do you want me to do about this mess?" she finally said, her voice becoming icier with every word. Her eyes fell momentarily on Jamie, before they hardened and returned to Jeff's face, full of poisonous intent. "I can't accept these drawings."

"I-I know," Jeff began nervously. "But see, I didn't make the mistake on purpose. There was this accident, see? But if you just give me some time, I can redraw everything. I already have the whole plot written out and everything…"

"No."

"Eh?" The rainbow-haired artist blinked, taken slightly aback by the severe tone of finality in the blonde woman's voice. "No? What do you mean by that? I just need a week, and—"

"Just stop it." Trish leaned back in her chair, and shook her head. "Just stop _this_, Jeff. You're fired. Pack up your things from your desk and get out of here."

"W-what…?" Jeff stared at Trish in complete disbelief, before a weak smile pushed its way past the corners of his lips. "Oh, I get it. This is a joke, huh? You're upset with me, aren't cha? Look honey, I'm sorry about breaking up with you, but it's just not gonna work out. I mean, you're married—"

"You only call me 'honey' during times like this," Trish cut in angrily, standing up and glaring angrily at Jeff as he immediately backed away with Jamie in his arms. "You always bring out the pet names when things are bad for you, Hardy! I'm your _boss_. Do you think I'm stupid? Do you even realize how many times I've covered for you in the past?"

"T-Trish…"

"Yes, I loved you, Jeff. Yes, I'm very upset that we couldn't have continued our relationship. But as your _boss_, I've had enough of your work habits. This isn't the first time you haven't met your deadline, and I'm not going to cover for you anymore."

"I—I—" Jeff stammered, unable to think of a single thing to say in his defense. "Trish, why are you doing this? You know that when I'm in the right mood, my comics are great!"

"Ha!" Trish snorted and gave Jeff a rather cruel smile. "In the right mood? I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Jeff, but even when you're 'in the right mood', your comics are no fun."

A feeling of dread rising within his chest, but against his better judgment, Jeff pressed on. "What are you talking about?"

"You want me to be blunt? Fine. I was trying to be nice, but you just won't get the picture, will you?" Still smirking, the blonde woman reached down slowly, picked up the ink-stained sketches, and looked down at them thoughtfully for a minute. "You," she said finally, "have no talent." She tossed the first drawing into a nearby trash bin. "You also apparently haven't heard what people say after they read your comics, so I'll enlighten you. Your works are boring—" she threw a second picture into the bin "—they're uninspired—" she threw a third picture "—clichéd—" a fourth "—and not even worth the time spent reading them!"

She looked up at Jeff and held the final drawing out in front of him, one hand at each end of the page. Then, not taking her eyes off the rainbow-haired artist, she suddenly twisted her hands in opposite directions, viciously tearing the picture apart in an act of savagery.

Jamie, who had been watching, let out a wail of dismay at the sight. _Daddy Jeff! What is that crazy lady doing? She's ruining your drawings! Stop her! STOP HER!_

"This," she spat venomously, "is trash! Do you hear me, Jeff? Your artworks, your so-called drawings…they're trash! Garbage! WORTHLESS!" The papers made a sickening ripping noise as it tore, hours worth of artwork being ravaged to sheds in seconds.

Throughout all of this, Jeff didn't blink, nor did he even attempt to stop his superior. Instead, his face became clouded and passive as his work was thrown into the rubbish bin, and when Trish was finally done, when all of her anger had been successfully vented on Jeff's drawings, the rainbow-haired artist said nothing. Instead, he bent down near the trash, scooped up his torn drawings and, with a sniffling and confused Jamie still attached to his bosom, he left the building with his destroyed pictures in hand, not staring at anyone or anything.

His form was bent, and the look in his eyes was that of dejection, of a man who was completely broken. As she watched him go, Trish momentarily felt a stab of guilt, and she wondered briefly if she had been too hard on him.

But then she remembered the baby that had been with him, and all of the weeks where he had avoided her.

_No_, she told herself. _That's what he gets for ignoring me. He deserves to feel some pain for his actions._

* * *

"_I'm glad you could make it, sir."_

"_Don't sweat it. I always have time for you, Punkin."_

"_HEY! Don't call me that! It makes me feel so juvenile…"_

"_Don't call me 'sir' then. Makes __**me**__ feel all old and wrinkly."_

"_Well, you do sort of have crows' feet around your eyes…"_

"_Woman, those are NOT crows' feet. They're laugh lines."_

"_Hunter, nothing's that funny."_

"_ANYWAY! Give me the scoop, Haley, particularly on all that juicy gossip I'm hearing about Vickie and Edge."_

"_You see, Hunter, this so-called gossip about Vickie and Edge…it's actually quite a complicated mess that I'm still trying to sort through."_

"_Is it that bad?"_

"_Honestly, sometimes I don't know who's the bigger diva—Edge or Vickie. It's like I'm constantly trying to deal with two hormonal women who are __**both **__on their PMS. The scary thing is, Edge is actually the worse of the two. At least Vickie has an excuse, since she's the head of her company and has wedding jitters and all…but Edge just creeps me out half the time."_

"_Aw, you can handle him, Haley. After all, you completely demolished Eve Torres in court when she tried to get twenty billion off of me and Steph."_

"_Flatterer. How's Stephanie handling pregnancy number two, by the way? I'm surprised you two already have another bun in the oven…"_

"_Well, when she's not trying to have constant sex with me or kill me due to a hormone-driven rage…she's actually pretty fine with it. Her ass has gotten much cuter, to tell you the truth, especially considering how soft her—"_

"_I really don't need to know."_

"_Oh, come on. I attend every single one of Kennedy Kennedy's stupid barbeques for __**you**__, Haley. Do you know how shot my eardrums are after listening to him shriek his name into my ear every ten minutes? If he wasn't your boyfriend, I would have knocked his ass flat to the ground! You should at __**least**__ be sympathetic to my marital woes."_

"_HA! You and Stephanie are one of the top couples in the country! What marital woes could you __**possibly **__have?"_

"…_hold on a sec, I'm trying to make some up right now."_

"_Let's get back to business, sir. Look, even with the pre-nups in place, Edge is still trying to get a bigger degree of control over Vickie's companies. And it's not limited to her hospitals. He's not exactly being subtle about it either, but Vickie's having tunnel vision thanks to her being in 'love' and all…"_

"_Well, her tunnel vision's helping __**me**__, so I'm not complaining."_

"_You will soon. What's the percentage you have right now, by the way? We have to get this thing done quickly, because I think Edge is starting to get suspicious."_

"_Suspicious? What you mean, he's finally starting to catch on? …shit, I have a nice little chunk of the shares, since Shawn, Rey, and Dave handed their proxies over to me, but it's not enough. I need more time, Haley."_

"_We're sort of running __**out **__of time. Edge is trying to push the wedding up, and the minute he says 'I do' we might as well consider him the new head of Vickie's company."_

"_Crap damn. Look kid, unless you can find someone with a huge share who really, __**really **__hates Vickie's guts, I don't see how I can speed up the process unless Vickie herself decides to come to me…"_

"…_just, just give me some time. We'll find a way."_

"_We'd better. I spent too much time on this to pull out now. The old man would never forgive me if I fucked this up."_

"_Uh-huh. Say, Hunter…"_

"_Yeah, Haley?"_

"_How long has that long-haired guy been sitting there?"_

"_What long-haired guy?"_

"_The one drinking all that beer over there. The one with a baby strapped to his chest…"_

* * *

Jeff poured himself another glass of whiskey from the bottle, swirled the liquid in his hand, and down the entire contents in one gulp. The bitter, burning drink seared down his throat, almost making him gag from the intensity, and for a moment he thought he was going to throw up.

He felt disgusting. He felt like garbage. So he poured himself another glass to make himself feel better.

Jamie, who was still sitting in her soft front carrier, stared up at the rainbow-haired artist with wide, worried eyes. _Daddy Jeff? Daddy Jeff, what's wrong? Why do you look so sad? S-stop drinking that! It smells really bad, and it's making you act all weird! Daddy Jeff, let's go home! You're scaring me! Daddy Jeff, let's go home to mommy…she'll make everything better! Daddy Jeff…_

"Trash…" Jeff shook his head, broken laughter escaping his lips. "It…it was all trash, baby girl. If…if everything I drew was trash, when I worked so hard on them…then wha' the heck am I good for?"

_Trash? _Jamie blinked. _Daddy Jeff, you're not trash! Who said you were trash? Tell me! I'll find that meanie head and—and—I'll kick them! Just you wait and see!_

"I'm not good for anything, am I? I'm just a no-good bum. A no-good bum…" He threw the glass aside and instead drank straight from the bottle, much to the displeasure of the bartender and the surrounding customers.

"Hey bub," the elderly barkeep said, "you know you're gonna have to pay for the whole thing, right?"

"Mmm…yeah." Jeff smacked his lips as he finished off the drink, pulling out his wallet and emptying it of all his money. "There. I'm…I'm gonna go…and join the rest of the trash…"

"Huh?" The elderly barkeep blinked as the rainbow-haired artist staggered out of the bar, much to the relief of the other patrons of the bar. While the old man was relieved as well, a nagging worry still ate away at his heart—he had, after all, seen the man carry a small child in his arms. If said man was drunk (and the barkeep was fairly sure he _was_), something could happen to the baby…

_Damn it all to hell._

Sighing, the elderly barkeep hopped over the bar and went outside, intending on making sure the drunken artist at least found a taxi to take home. For the little baby's sake, this was the least a man could do, right? After a quick search, the old man found the two on the corner of the street, near several garbage bags.

He almost wished that he hadn't come after them.

The baby girl was standing by herself, crying loudly as she rubbed her little fists over her eyes…and the drunken artist was trying to stuff himself into an empty garbage bag, shoving his head inside while attempting to squeeze his body in the rest of the way. Nearby, several garbage men were staring at him, flabbergasted and confused beyond belief.

"Hey, sir!" one of the sanitation workers yelled. "Stop! Get out of there!"

"Lemme alone!" Jeff cried, shaking a trembling fist at the men before resuming his task of fitting inside the garbage bag. "I'm trash! Take me away!"

"What the fuck, man? You're not trash!"

"YES I AM!"

"Oh god." Paling, the elderly barkeep ran over to the baby girl and picked her up, wondering if the child had a mother he could call. Walking over to Jeff, the barkeep reached over and pulled a cellphone out of the artist's pocket, pressing the first number on speed dial as he juggled the clearly unhappy baby in his arms. "Come on, pick up," he muttered, his agitation increasing when he saw the garbage men attempt (and fail) to physically remove Jeff from the garbage bag. "Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up!"

"_H-hello? Jeff, is that you? Do you have any idea what time it is?_"

It was a woman's voice, most likely the man's wife. _Oh thank god_, the old man thought gratefully, not caring that the woman sounded as if she was going to have a nervous breakdown of her own. "H-hello, ma'am?"

"_Y-yes? Who is this? Why do you have Jeff's phone number?_"

"Lady, I'm sorry about this, but you gotta come down here and pick up your husband! He's gone nuts! He came down here, with a kid of all things, got drunk, and now he's trying to—well, I can't explain it! HEY!" The elderly barkeep yelped when he saw Jeff kick one of the garbage men away. "Stop that, you loon! What you're doing is dangerous!"

"SHUT UP, OLD MAN! I'm trash, and this is where I belong!"

"_W-where are you? Where are you calling from?_"

"Lady, we're near the New Beginnings Saloon. Please, just come and pick up your man! He's gonna get himself arrested at this rate!" The old man quickly shut the cellphone and ran over to Jeff while still maintaining a hold on the sobbing infant. "Damn it, boy! Move out of the way! You're causing a ruckus that nobody needs at this time of night!"

The rainbow-haired artist groaned, and poked his head out of the trash bag. "Tha's why I'm tellin' you to just take me with you! It'll make everyone happy, so just do it!"

"Why do you insist on being crazy?" one of the garbage men swore. "You have a kid, goddamn it! Take her and go home! We're not taxi drivers, okay? This is a fucking garbage truck! Do you hear me? It's—a—GARBAGE—TRUCK!"

"I know!" Jeff yelled, nodding his head drunkenly. "Y'think I don't know? Tha's why I'm tellin' you to take me! I'm trash…TRASH! Teeheeheehee~!"

"You crazy son-of-a—why are you trash? You don't make any sense!"

"…"

"…"

"I'm trash because I'm trash, you asshole! JUST TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

"JEFF!"

All of the men froze upon hearing the woman's voice, and the baby practically screamed in desperation when a young woman ran around the corner, flustered and slightly out of breath, but still shocked at seeing the sight before her.

"Oh my lord…Jamie! Jeff! What's going on?" The woman ran over to the elderly barkeep and thanked the man quietly before pulling the baby into her arms, where the child then proceeded to babble in a half-hysterical frenzy, hugging her mother around the neck in a way that would have asphyxiated any creature except that of a woman with a child. "I don't—Jamie, Jeff, what happened…?"

"Are you the baby's mom?" one of the garbage men asked in exasperation.

"Y-yes…"

"Hiiiiiii, Joo-nee!" Jeff greeted, waving one hand in the air. "Gosh, y'look pretty today…"

"Oh, thank GOD! Please, ma'am, can you take your husband and get him out of here? Take him home! He's obviously not well in the head!"

"Fuck yoooooou!" Jeff slurred angrily, wrapping the garbage bag tightly around his body as the men got back into their truck and drove away, all the while muttering about poor women having the misfortune to marry the psychotic, starving artist types. "HEY! I heard that, assholes! Y'jerks! I outta—"

"Jeff!" The rainbow-haired artist suddenly found himself enveloped in a warm embrace, his face pressed against the crook of June's neck. Jamie, who was comfortably squished in the middle, only looked up at her possible father in agitation as June finally pulled away, her eyes filled to the brim with tears. "Jeff, what happened? Are you alright?"

"J-Joo-nee…"

"Why did you get so drunk? Why didn't you call me? Don't you know how worried I was?"

"But…but…" Jeff shook his head, and gave June a crooked smile. "Joo-nee, I'm trash! I'm trash, so I gotta go to the garbage dump…"

"Don't say that! What will Jamie think when she sees you like this?"

"…"

"…"

Jeff's shoulders slumped, and he stared at the young mother strangely. "…Jamie…"

"Come on, Jeff, let's go home. Come on…" Grasping him under the arms, June pulled the rainbow-haired artist out of the garbage bag and helped him walk towards the cab she had arrived in. As he crashed into the back seat, June held Jamie tightly in her arms as she pulled Jeff into a sitting position and gave the driver directions back to the apartment.

"Wow, lady," the driver commented, staring at Jeff through the rearview mirror, "is that guy okay? He looks smashed."

June sighed, and shook her head. "Don't worry about it," she said softly. "I'll take care of him. If you can get us to our destination in five minutes, sir, I'll pay you an extra twenty percent in tips."

"Whoo-hoo! Thank you, ma'am!"

As the car sped up, June sighed, and rested her head against the back of the car seat. All night, ever since she had gotten home from work, she had been in a half-hysterical state. When John had mentioned that Jeff had taken Jamie out, she hadn't worried in the beginning, for out of all three men, she trusted Jeff the most with Jamie. But as the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes turned into hours, she had worried. She had worried, and had been about to call the police when her phone had rang, with that old man screaming on the other end…

There was a slight weight on her shoulder, accompanied by soft murmuring. June looked down, and blushed when she realized that Jeff had fallen asleep with his head on her shoulder.

"Joo-nee…" he whispered, nuzzling his cheek against hers. "Joo-nee…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

June felt her face become hot, but she said nothing. Instead, she reached up, cradled his head in her hand, and pressed a soft kiss against his forehead.

_Don't be sorry, love. Don't be…_

* * *

**A/N: …I plead the fifth. But even if I didn't, what I'm doing should be obvious. :X**

**Current poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 10 votes **

**John Cena: 8 votes (He's catching up!)**

**Jeff Hardy: 5 votes (Will things change after this chapter?)**

**Dave Batista: 2 vote (Oh, Batista, you still have a fan in me. :3)**

**Have Them All: 1 vote (Okay, I really want to know who picked this. That person…deserves cookies. XD)**


	27. Sensitive Guidance

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Twenty-Seven: Sensitive Guidance**

_There are times when people can be really, really annoying. You can try all you want to explain something to them, but it'll be like talking to a brick wall, because they just won't listen to a word you're saying even if it's really important. _

_It's even worse when the reason they won't listen is because they don't agree with you, and won't even consider your opinion._

_I learned how important listening to other people was when I was still in preschool. You have to give and take a little, or else nobody will ever want anything to do with you. If you only take, without ever giving anything back, the people around you will get hurt. You'll end up pushing away the people who care about you, and you'll end up miserable and alone._

_Luckily, mommy isn't like that. She always takes the time to listen to people, and she always takes into account other people's feelings before she makes a decision. She's always open to other people's ideas, and she always puts other people before herself! It's no wonder she has so many friends!_

…_sometimes, though, I think she's so busy taking care of other people that she forgets to take care of herself. Mommy doesn't think she's anything special, and I wish she wouldn't think things like that. I tried to tell her that she's wrong, that she's the most wonderful mommy in the world…but somewhere deep down inside, I know she doesn't believe me._

_I wish mommy could learn to love herself. I really do. _

* * *

The very first thing he realized was how much his head hurt.

Jeff groaned and rolled over, pulling the blanket over his head as he tried to ignore the fact that his brain felt like it was about to burst. Goddamn hangovers, they always made him feel like shit.

What had happened yesterday? All he remembered after…that _incident…_was wandering aimlessly through the streets with Jamie in his arms, feeling like the lowest of scum. He had walked for hours…he had eventually wandered into a bar…ugh, why did he keep smelling garbage everywhere? What the hell was that about?

"Oh god." The rainbow-haired artist moaned and shielded his eyes from the sunlight creeping through his window. Damn it, he couldn't think—thinking HURT too much. Either he had a seriously messed up hangover or he was still a bit drunk, because he felt completely disoriented. He couldn't believe how low his bed felt. The ceiling seemed further away from him than usual, and—

_Wait a minute. Why does my shoulder feel heavy_?

His eyes were still half-closed. The drowsiness and heavy eyelids balked him from opening them all the way, and he just didn't want to _move_. But still, he slowly and deliberately peeled his lids from their droopy states, carefully adjusting herself to the brightness of the room. The faint smell of a pungent odor (why did he keep smelling garbage?) was apparent in the air. The freshness and new sheets around his body were also new.

He shifted his head to his left, and his nose was immediately tickled by a mess of thick dark locks.

June. _Oh shit. _

Jeff swallowed nervously. The young mother was currently sleeping on the edge of the bed, her head nestled against his shoulder as one arm was thrown haphazardly over his chest. From the awkward way she was sleeping and from the state of her clothing, it was clear that she had spent the entire night at his bedside, and would no doubt be feeling very sore and stiff this morning.

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, what happened last night? What did I do…?_

They were so close together that Jeff could feel her warm breath against his cheek, and he was suddenly all too aware of that familiar feeling of blood rushing to his face. He didn't know why she was here, sleeping on top of him (he strangely didn't mind _that_, though), and he certainly didn't have a clue as to how they ended up like this, but he had a sinking feeling that he really didn't want to find out.

_How drunk did I get last night? Did I come home in a comatose state, or something? Fuck, I gotta take a shower…_

Reluctantly, he maneuvered his shoulder from underneath June's head, easing his body out from the young mother's warm hold as he tried to slink out of his room undetected. He managed to get off the bed and stumble noisily across his room without June even stirring from her sleep (god, that woman was a heavy sleeper), and was just about to leave through the door with a victorious smile on his face when…

"BARK, BARK!"

The small dog practically flew into his master's arms, licking his face and backing excitedly despite Jeff's efforts to keep his pet quiet. "Jack, shut up! S-stop licking me, I know you're happy to see me! Shut—ACK! I'll give you bacon strips for breakfast, so just shut up already!"

"Ugh…Jeff?"

Crap.

The rainbow-haired artist froze as June slowly picked herself off the bed, rubbing her eyes before shuffling sleepily towards him. "Jeff, you o—o—okay?" she asked, trying and failing to stifle a yawn. "You don't have a hangover, or anything? You were tossing and turning all night…"

"Um, um…" Jeff tried think or something, _anything_, but his mind chose that oppertune time to draw up a useless blank. "Um…I might…have a hangover…"

"Let me go and make you something to eat, then. Eating and drinking some water always makes a hangover more bearable."

"W-wait." Jeff stared at the clock, and was astonished to see that it was already ten in the morning. "June, it's late! Shouldn't you have gone to work by now?"

June smiled. "It's okay. I called ahead and told them I was going to head in a bit late." She then frowned, and crossed her arms. "Dr. Wight seemed to be crying in the background when I said that, though. Gosh, I hope Mr. Jericho isn't causing trouble again…"

"Is it really okay?" Jeff pressed on, feeling more and more guilt-ridden as June headed into the kitchen to make breakfast. "I don't want to trouble you like this, Junie."

"Nonsense, love! You're my best friend, and you're feeling under the weather! It's practically my duty to take care of you in these times! So sit down—" she pushed Jeff onto a nearby kitchen stool "—wait a moment or two, and I'll have some nice eggs and hash browns fried up. And maybe I'll stir up some oatmeal with strawberries on top, while I'm at it…"

"You're spoiling me, girl. You keep this up, and I might never let you go."

"Oh, be quiet you." June cracked the eggs into a frying pan, before she poured some oatmeal pellets into a pot of boiling water. "You shouldn't have drunk so much," she went on, stirring the oatmeal with a large wooden spoon. "I was so worried about you last night. What on earth possessed you to drink like that?"

"Err…" Jeff bit his lip as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "I…I have my reasons, Junie. It's nothing for you to get upset about, though, so don't worry."

June frowned, setting the hash browns in another hot pan. "You sure? You don't normally drink that much unless you're upset about something…"

"I'm fine. Really." Jeff played with the edge of his shirt sleeve, his eyes hardening slightly before he looked up at the young mother with an uneasy smile. "Junie, I decided that I'm gonna quit drawing comics. I handed in my resignation to Trish yesterday, in a manner of speaking." He quickly coughed at the end, not wanting to go any further.

"What?" June whirled around, her eyes wide with shock as she held a coffee pot and a half-filled mug in her hands. "Why, Jeff? Why would you quit? Your comics and drawings are everything to you…and you have so much talent!"

"Talent, huh?" The rainbow-haired artist scoffed, although not unkindly. "Junie, yesterday my eyes were opened to the cold, hard truth. I ain't got any talent. No one was really reading my comics to begin with, and it was just taking up useless space…" Jeff trailed off, forcing himself to calm down when his voice cracked slightly. "Bottom line is, it was getting boring and I didn't want to do it anymore."

"J-Jeff…"

"But—" here, Jeff grinned widely "—the bright side is, now I can spend all of my time watching Jamie! I have lots of free time on my hands, so you don't have to come home early anymore, Junie. That's good for you, right?"

"What are you talking about?" June exclaimed, grabbing Jeff by the shoulders and shaking him with all of her might. (Which didn't faze him in the slightest, as June was inarguably weaker than he was.) "Your drawings are wonderful, Jeff! They're really fun!"

Jeff's grin faded. "You don't have to say that. I know I'm no good."

"I'm serious! I love everything you draw. Why, after I read that comic you had lying on your desk last night, I couldn't stop thinking about it even once! It was really funny and heartwarming!"

"Huh?" Jeff blinked in confusion. He didn't know what she was talking about—all of his works had gone straight to Trish the other day. "Comic? What comic are you talking about, Junie?"

"Um…" The young mother tapped her chin and furrowed her brow in thought. "I don't recall seeing a title, but it was all drawn in pencil. Still, it was a wonderful story! The way those three men took care of that woman and her baby…oh, it was just so sweet, I didn't want to put it down!"

"T-t-three men…?" All of the blood suddenly drained from Jeff's face, and he completely lost the feeling in his arms and legs. "You…you read the story about the three men, the lady, and her little baby?"

June nodded excitedly. "Uh-huh! The pictures were just so cute, I couldn't help picking it up!"

_Oh my fucking god. _"How…how far did you read…?"

"Up to the part where the mother and the baby left the three men while they hid in a motel. Oh, I almost cried at that scene!" June sniffed, wiping a tear from her eye before fixing Jeff with a coy grin. "But tell me something, would you? Out of the three friends, who's the _real_ father of the baby? I'm so curious! I sort of want the artist to be the father…ooh, but the cop is so sweet and protective…and yet, there's something about that stubborn businessman that really pulls me in…"

"Uh…uh…" He couldn't speak. His tongue was like a block of lead in his mouth.

"All three characters are so funny and creative," June continued, finally plating the eggs and hash browns while pouring the oatmeal in a bowl. "Sperm donors falling in love with the woman who gave birth to their child…it's so original! However, the woman is such a blockhead! I mean, it's so obvious that all three men love her, but she can't even see it! It's enough to drive a person insane, don't you think?"

"J-Junie…"

"What? Don't try to protest, Jeff! You really have talent! But…you used Jamie as a model in that comic, right? The baby in the drawings really reminds me of her. She's just so cute!"

"…"

"Jeff?" June slid the oatmeal towards the near-comatose man, and gently touched his shoulder. "Jeff, are you alright? Jeff!"

"Uh…" Jeff forced his tongue to move, despite the difficulty and the insane urge he had to suddenly jump off a ten-story building. "I'm…fine…"

"Oh, good. I was worried for a second there."

Jeff swallowed thickly, before he turned to the young mother with a look of utmost urgency. "Junie, you should know that even though I did use Jamie as a model, the events in the story are completely fictional. None of it is real! No one in real life ever donated sperm to their best friend in secret, and their best friend never unknowingly became pregnant with their child! It's all fiction, it's all made up, and it _never _happened to anyone, especially not you and me! Eh…heh…heh…"

_Oh god, she's found out, she's going to kill us, she'll never speak to us again, oh god oh god…_

"Well, of course the story isn't real, silly!" June laughed, before she poured herself a glass of juice and took a seat beside the rainbow-haired artist. "That's why I'm saying your imagination is great! You have a warm and sensitive side that I don't see in many comic book artists these days. It's all either about violence or sex…" June shivered, and made a face. "It's a terrible waste if you give up drawing. You'll disappoint the fan in me, that's for sure. I want to see how the story ends!"

"Uh-huh." Somewhat amazed at June not having found out, Jeff found himself laughing weakly, although he couldn't bring himself to put any effort into it. "Thanks Junie. Um, y-you should hurry up and eat—you don't want to get to work at noon, do you?"

"Oh, right!" Staring at the clock in alarm, June quickly downed her juice and ran off to her room to change. As soon a she was out of sight, Jeff slumped in his chair, trying not to throw up as he fought the bitter bile that was rising in the back of his throat.

_Oh god that was too fucking close…shit, my stomach hurts…_

Swallowing loudly, he reached for the coffee that June had left for him and took a long drink, not caring that the hot liquid was scalding his mouth. He had to be more careful with his drawings—he couldn't leave the original lying around where June could easily find it. If she ever found out the truth, it would destroy her, it would destroy their _family_, and he just couldn't allow that.

…

But…

He paused, and lowered the mug from his burnt lips.

…the comic…was it really that funny and enjoyable?

* * *

"Hmm…"

The dress was a striking virgin white, the straps embellished with sparkling, clear-cut diamonds. There were small slits cut in the silken sides that not only allowed the wearer to walk with a little more ease, but it also allowed admirers to have a very lovely view of person's legs.

And despite the fact that he was currently helping _Sam _shop for clothes, Randy couldn't help but think that the dress would look great on June.

_Damn it, stop thinking about her!_

He threw the dress back onto the rack, disgusted with himself for even thinking about the young mother. It wasn't like he owed her anything, and she probably didn't give a rat's ass about anything he did for her. In fact, after what happened last night and what he saw this morning, he was fairly certain that all she cared about was _Hardy_.

"Fucking Hardy," he hissed, clenching his hands tightly as he tried his best not to lash out on a nearby sales clerk. He tried not to think about how she refused to talk to him when she had finally staggered into the apartment late in the night, with a near-unconscious and very odious Jeff in her arms. He tried not to think about how annoyingly _bothersome _he found it when he realized that she planned to stay by Jeff's drunken side all night, just to make sure he made it through to the morning.

He tried not to think about the sheer rage and anger he had felt when he had walked into Jeff's room, only to find June practically sprawled on top of the rainbow-haired artist, sound asleep against his chest as her arms wrapped around his body…

_Fuck. Her._

…

His mouth set in a thin, sour line, the Legend Killer slowly picked up the tag on the dress and turned it over, checking for the price. Six hundred dollars, without tax. Six hundred dollars for a dress that he knew, just _knew_, would look great on June.

…

He tossed the price tag back. "It's not her style anyway," he muttered to himself, hoping that if he ignored his irritating subconscious long enough, it would go away. Fat chance of that happening, since he had wished for that since he had been in high school, but _still_. Maybe someday…

"What are you looking at, Randy?" Sam asked, suddenly coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She saw the white dress and giggled. "Gonna buy that for me, babe?"

"Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah!" Randy laughed nervously as he picked up the dress and held the soft silk in his hands. "I, uh, I was just wondering if you'd look nice in it. Yup, just you. No one else. Just you."

Sam grinned. "That's so sweet of you…but if you're thinking of buying it for me, you don't have to."

"R-really?"

"Uh-huh. That dress isn't really my style."

"Oh." Randy faked a look of hurt, and placed the dress back. "That's sort of upsetting. It's a damn shame—you would have made the dress look ten times better than it already is…"

"You know just how to sweet talk a girl, don't you?" Sam commented, giving the Legend Killer a quick kiss to the cheek. "Well, keep it up, big boy. It's definitely working…"

Randy smirked. _Of course it's working. I'm the fucking Lady Thriller, bitch._

"Ah! I almost forgot!" The brunette suddenly reached into her purse, digging around the contents for a few seconds before pulling out a small blue envelope. Smiling, she slipped it into a confused Randy's hand and said, "This is your official invitation, so don't lose it, okay?"

"…" The Legend Killer blinked, uncertain of what to do. "An official invitation…for what, exactly?"

"Vince and Hunter are throwing a huge get-together next Sunday," Sam explained. "He's only invited the best of the best, and believe me, the guest list was pretty specified. Even Adam Copeland and Vickie Guerrero were just above the borderline for the invites! Hunter asked me to give you an invitation, and he sort of insisted that you be there." Sam then frowned. "He wouldn't tell me _why _he wanted you to be there, but I guess it's pretty important…"

"I'll be there," Randy said immediately, clutching hard at the envelope as a rather sinister smile made its way across his face. "Oh boy, I'll definitely be there, don't you worry."

"Good! Next Sunday, don't forget!"

"Right. Hehehehe…"

* * *

"_Stupid_ Hardy, acting all _stupid _just so he could _stupidly _take up all of Junie's time…_stupid _suicidal son-of-a-bitch. _Stupid_."

John pouted as he went over Jamie's allergy shot record, checking off the shots she had already received over the year. Last night, June had stumbled home during a ghastly hour, clutching a terrified Jamie to her chest while a _very _drunken Jeff draped himself all over her body. The rainbow-haired artist had wrapped his arms around June's shoulders and waist, nuzzling his face into her hair, whispering sweet nothings into her ear…

The young detective would have pounded Jeff _hard _into the ground, had June not begged him to help her calm Jamie down instead.

"Damn that Hardy. If Junie hadn't been there, I'd—I'd—" John made a furious punching motion to the side…

…only to feel his fist make a hard impact against someone's stomach with a loud _SMACK_!

"OW! Cena, you fucking jackass!"

"Huh?" John blinked and quickly turned around, only to find himself staring at Cody Rhodes who was doubled over in pain, clutching at his stomach in considerable agony. "What the hell happened to you, Rhodes? Something hit you?"

"W-what? WHAT?" Cody snapped his head up, staring at John in complete disbelief. "How the hell can you even ask me that? You—you son-of-a-whore, you PUNCHED me!"

"HEY! I didn't punch you!" the young detective yelled defensively. "Your stomach just got in the way of my fist, that's all!"

"Well, pardon me for putting my stomach in the path of your aggressively flailing limbs," Cody mocked sarcastically.

"Aww, that's real good of you, Rhodes," John replied, smiling. "Apologizing like that…"

"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, YOU JERK!"

"Well, you should be sarcastic more often. It's nice."

"BAH! I HATE YOU!"

"Don't we all?" Miz agreed, flicking John on the back of the head before taking a seat at his desk. "Cena's a terrible partner. I keep sending requests to change departments, but Austin won't let me transfer out."

"How about I kick your ass so hard you'll have to go on an extended stay at the nearest hospital?" John said flatly, glaring at his new partner with dislike. "I wish Austin _would_ let you transfer out. I'd rather work alone than deal with your punk ass all day. God, I miss Bob Holly…"

"Go and flash your whore smile at those pre-teen admirers of yours, asshole."

"Go and masturbate to your secret pictures of that underwear model, John Morrison."

Miz's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, his face turning an interesting shade of puce from both shock and fury. "Why—why you—how did you—"

"Would you just shut up?" John snapped. "I'm busy trying to deal with important matters! Go away, Miz!" With that, he turned his attention back to Jamie's allergy shot records, tapping his pen against his cheek as he tried hard to ignore the fact that a rage-driven Miz was now forcibly being restrained by Cody and Ted. ("Damn it, don't hold me back! Cena's going DOWN!")

_Let's see…Jamie already had her BCG shot…she's already gotten three Hepatitis B shots, so she just needs the Hepatitis A shot and one more for Hepatitis B by the time she turns one-year-old._

…

_Hmm._

John blinked, scratching his head with the pen. "When _is _Jamie's birthday, anyway?" He turn the page of the allergy shot booklet, and checked the date…only to have his jaw hit the floor a second later when he realized that it was less than a week away.

_Less than a week away…then, that means that Jamie's birthday is…_

"Holy shit, it's next Sunday?"

* * *

June was only grateful that she was alone in the Research Task Force office, and that both Dr. Batista and Dr. Mysterio were out on errands. God only knew how much her reputation would sink if the good doctors saw her chatting away while she was supposed to be working.

"Jeff, is all this really necessary?" June asked, holding her cell phone with one hand while clicking on her laptop with the other. "Won't it be easier to just tell me your big news over the phone, rather than make me go through cybernetic hoops?"

"_Nah, Junie! This is more fun! Now, just click on 'The Hardy Boyz' homepage, and then look for a link with my name on it._"

"Right." June stared at the website, raising an amused brow at the video clips of Jeff and Matt having an egg fight near a highway. She was never able to fathom why men insisted on acting like little boys at times. It seemed that they just never mentally grew past a certain age, and scenes like Matt and Jeff's egg fight were definitive proof. (Randy and John's constant arguments were another bit of concrete evidence…)

Oh well. Boys will be boys, especially the Hardy Boyz.

After sorting through clips of Shannon splashing around in a kiddie pool (oh, the boy was just so adorable at times) and Jeff eating a watermelon in a rather undignified manner (she didn't think she could ever look at the artist the same way ever again) her eyes finally roamed over a link that said, _Jeff's Newest Art Samples! Click Or Die, Muddereffers! _

"Very nice title, Jeff," she commented dryly, opening the link despite her better judgment. "Very eye-catching. I'm sure your fans will love it."

"_Woman, will you just take a look at the pictures already? Tell me what you think!_"

"I'm opening it—" June began, only to gasp a second later when she saw three pages of beautifully drawn comic work on the screen. There were pictures of a woman, who was holding a small infant in her arms while being surrounded by three handsome men. There were pages filled with images that were very similar to the drawings she had seen on Jeff's desk, but unlike those drawing, the pages on the computer screen were inked, were much more cleanly drawn, and were much more visibly appealing.

On the top of the first page, the title read: **Three Men, a Lady, and a Little Baby**.

"_So?_" Jeff's voice was impatient from the other end of the phone. "_What'cha think, Junie? It's nice, ain't it?_"

"Oh, Jeff! Did you do this right after I left?"

"_Mmm-hmm. Ya like it? It's already getting lots of good comments, but your opinion matters the most to me…_"

"Like it? I LOVE it!" June laughed, scrolling down as she took in the bits of storyline that the three pages offered her. "Oh, but surely these pages aren't all you're putting up, is it? Where's the rest?"

"_Actually, I was planning on just releasing one or two pages a week. You know, keep the audience in suspense. I mean, it's not like the readers are paying to read it, so I ain't obligated to dish out ten pages at once._"

"True." June thought for a moment, before she shook her head. "Still, Jeff, you're such a tease. I already read the first version of this comic, and I already want to read the next page! How are the good readers supposed to wait?"

"_If they're good, devoted readers, they'll wait._" There was a slight pause on the other end, before June heard Jeff sigh quietly. "_Junie…I just wanna thank you._"

"Hmm?" June blinked. "Thank me for what?"

Jeff chuckled. "_I wanna thank you for the sensitive comic, darling. If it wasn't for you, I really was going to quit drawing. You…you saved me, in a way. I…I'll never forget this._"

A small flush appeared on June's cheeks, and she coughed nervously as she tried to will the sudden hotness away. "What are you thanking me for?" she protested softly. "I didn't do anything."

"_Nuh-uh. I've met many girls before, but you're the only one who's really inspired me to draw._" Another pause. "_I don't think I'll ever find another woman who'll support me the way you do._"

June's grip tightened on her cell phone. "Jeff…"

A sudden wail in the background jerked both June and Jeff from their conversation, and the young mother soon heard Jeff laugh quietly. "_It's Jamie_," he murmured, his voice filled with an odd emotion that June couldn't quite identify…was that disappointment in his voice? "_She just woke up. I'll—I'll see you later, okay?_"

"Sure. Bye, Jeff." June slowly closed her cell phone, and slipped it back into her pocket. She turned her gaze back towards the computer screen, where the pages of the comic were still fully uploaded. Looking at a picture of one of the three men, particularly the artist type character, she couldn't help but smile.

She had no idea what had happened yesterday to cause him to "quit" drawing his beloved comics, but she was glad that he didn't give up in the end. He was too gifted to give up on something he really loved, and this strange, yet heartwarming new comic of his proved it.

Now if she could only figure out why that artist character strongly reminded her of Jeff…

"Mrs. Grisham!"

"Eep!" June squeaked in fright as the door to the Research Task Force room suddenly slammed open, the loud noise nearly scaring her out of her skin. Before she could determine who it was, however, something heavy latched onto her body, and she suddenly found herself attempting to hold up a very heavy, very _mournful_ Chris Jericho. "M-Mr. Jericho! What are you doing here? This is the Research Task Force room, not the Physical Rehabilitation department!"

"Mrs. Grishaaaaaaaaaam!"

"I-is something the matter?" June stammered, grasping the edge of a table to keep herself and the blonde Canadian upright, a task made even harder given the fact that her legs were hurting her and were swelling slightly at that very moment… "What's the matter? Dear lord, how much do you weigh?"

"Why were you so _late _today?" Chris shrieked, grabbing the young mother by the shoulders and shaking her hard. "Don't you know that there's a conspiracy against me in this hospital? You're the only one I can trust around here! You CAN'T be late, you hear me?"

"P-p-please stop s-shaking me…"

"Jericho!" A strong hand grabbed hers, and June suddenly found herself yanked away from Chris's grasp as a pair of huge, muscular arms wrapped around her waist. "What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Dave demanded, holding June possessively against his chest as she blushed in embarrassment. "You're supposed to be in your own room, Chris. With _Big Show _and _Gail_. Or have you forgotten?"

"Screw you, assclown!" Chris snapped. "I had a very bad morning, okay? I've had to deal with that buttwipe Edge all by myself when he came along and started _bothering _me for things that he shouldn't even be concerned about in the first place…and then that fatass Big Show came along and said he had to postpone my physical therapy session because he has a so-called 'rendezvous' with some mystery woman! I mean, really, if Haley hadn't come and reassured me on how awesome and good-looking I was, I would have kicked everyone's asses from here to Kingdom Come!"

"…"

"…"

"You have my sympathies," Dave said flatly, not sounding genuine in the least. "So what does this have to do with you stalking Mrs. Grisham, again…?"

"I wasn't stalking her!" Chris protested angrily, although a look of panicked guilt flashed across his features for the briefest of moments before disappearing. "I was _looking _for her! There's a difference between the two, you brainless homunculus!"

A muscle went off in Dave's jaw, and when he spoke, his voice was dangerously soft. "What did you just call me, Jericho? Speak up; I didn't quite catch that…"

"So what's the problem, Mr. Jericho?" June asked quickly, reluctantly slipping out of Dave's hold (she might have imagined it, but she could have sworn she saw him pout for a split second the minute she left his arms). Forcing herself to ignore the pain in her legs, she walked over to Chris and gently took him by the arm, leading him out of the Research Task Force office and back towards his hospital room. "Tell me everything. Did that jerk Mr. Copeland insult your wife again?"

"Hmm? Oh, no." As he held onto June's arm, Chris visibly calmed down despite the fact that Dave was following them from a _very _close distance. "That pussfag Copeland didn't even mention Jessica today. No, he bothered me on business matters." He then snorted, and shook his head. "Assclown. As if I'd ever sell to _him…_"

"Business matters, sir?"

"Yeah. June, you gotta understand that I'm the top priority patient in this hospital. Do you know why?"

"Um…" June thought hard, trying to remember the lines that would best please Chris's huge but amazingly sensitive ego. "You're a top priority patient because you're a very talented rock star. You deserve nothing but respect and admiration from everyone around you, and it's a crime that they treat you the way they do."

A gasp, followed by a look of adoration. "That's the PERFECT description of me, June! I knew you understood me to a tee~!"

"Oh god." Dave seemed to become physically ill from merely _listening _to June's words. "You can't seriously mean all that," he finally said, trying his hardest not to vomit on the spot. "June, don't pander to him. I'm begging you, don't make his head any bigger than it already is…"

"Shut up, Dave," Chris said loudly. A satisfied smirk was completely etched onto his face due to June's high praise, and looked as if it wasn't going to come off anytime soon. "Don't you dare bully her in front of me. June here happens to be the only person in the entire building who knows how to treat a patient with the respect they deserve."

"Jericho, the only thing you deserve is my boot in your—"

"Anyway," the blonde went on, ignoring Dave as he turned to June with a smile, "although what you said is indeed one-hundred-percent true, June, it's actually only part of the reason why I'm so high priority around here. You see—" here, Chris lowered his voice dramatically "—I happen to hold a lot of power over Vickie's company."

"Really?" The young mother stared at him in awe, which resulted in a very pleased Chris puffing up his chest in pride. "Are you the vice president, or something of that sort?"

"No, but considering how much stock I'm holding, I probably should be."

"Would you stop that?" Dave snapped, pushing his way in-between the two while keeping Chris at bay. (And by Dave's definition, that meant that Chris was at least five feet away from him while staying at least _ten _feet away from June.) "For crying out loud, Jericho, stop over-exaggerating your importance! I have stocks too, but you don't see Edge trying to beg them away from me!"

Chris snorted. "Of course he wouldn't go after you, Dave. Your stocks are probably almost worthless, given that Vickie hates you so much. I mean, to go after _you _would be like going for dried up old beef jerky instead of a fresh, delicious steak. Like _me_."

"…"

"…"

"…THAT'S IT! _THAT'S IT! _I'M GONNA KILL HIM!"

"Eeeeeeek!" June hurriedly grasped onto Dave's arm, digging her heels into the floor as she tried to stop him from murdering the blonde Canadian on the spot. She soon realized, however, that this wasn't the best course of action, for the large doctor was so strong that he was easily dragging her along with him, while she only ended up creating skid marks on the floor. (This was sheer torture on her already swollen legs, and she prayed that she could find a chair soon or else she would collapse…) "Dr. Batista, please calm down! He didn't mean it, he's—he's just cranky!"

"Cranky my ass! I'm gonna rip him apart!"

"But sir, this isn't worth going to jail for! Don't you know how much Dr. Mysterio and I need you here?"

"Don't you hold me back, June…murder be damned, I have to KILL him!"

"Ack! Mr. Jericho, run! RUN!"

As the shouting and screaming and wailing continued, the three were completely unaware that they were being watched. Not that Hunter minded, of course.

"Interesting," the Cerebral Assassin mumbled, watching with a small smirk as Chris continued to taunt the increasingly livid Dave, while June tried desperately to calm both men down. "So June is the only person Chris is willing to spill his guts to. Interesting." His smirk then widened.

He now knew that getting to Jericho wouldn't work if they approached him directly. Edge had proven that very well with the stunt he tried to pull during the morning. Thankfully, Haley had gotten the idea and had backed off on trying to rope Jericho into their scheme during the very last second, and had instead focused on buttering him up while making Edge and Vickie believe that she was simply trying to get Chris to not sue them all to the ground.

Yes, Haley was his precious, clever little gem. He couldn't have chosen a better protégé.

But the larger problem still remained. They still needed Chris's shares.

Other than Chris, there was one other man Hunter knew he could have approached, but appealing to _that _character would have meant that he owed the little brat a favor, and Hunter hated having to owe favors. Nevertheless, time was running out and he had actually considered approaching the young businessman…

…when he had accidentally caught the little argument between Dave and Chris, with June trying her best to placate the two men.

And he was now faced with a decision.

Dave had asked him, no, _demanded _that the small, frail looking woman be kept out of this plan. Hunter knew that the Animal cared deeply for June, and Hunter knew that Dave hadn't wanted her to get wrapped up in what was potentially a career-killing scheme. Hell, even Rey and Haley refused to let June get caught up in this mess, for the woman had quickly won their hearts as well as Dave's. But at this point, all Hunter saw in June was a golden opportunity, one that he refused to waste.

"Sorry guys," he murmured to himself. "Looks like we might have to introduce little Junie to the game, after all…"

* * *

**A/N: Randy is champion again. And Hunter is the Number One Contender again. Huh. Huuuuuuuuuuh. I want a barbed wire match for these two. Or an inferno match. Or an electrified cage match. Or best yet—a light tube death match! …or would that be too traumatizing for the kiddies?**

**WHY? Why release BOTH Kennedy Kennedy and Candice? WHY? I hate WWE! RIOT! I DEMAND A RIOT!**

**Current poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 10 votes **

**John Cena: 8 votes **

**Jeff Hardy: 5 votes **

**Dave Batista: 2 votes (Aw, poor Dave…)**

**Have Them All: 4 votes? (…to all those who voted this…you are so awesome. :D)**


	28. Broken Promises

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Twenty-Eight: Broken Promises **

"_You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, Jamie."_

_That's what mommy said to me after I lied to my friend about giving him a gigantic chocolate castle for his birthday. She sat me down, and gave a stern lecture that made me feel all gloomy and depressed for days. (Because mommy has this weird power to make people feel bad about stuff, you see. She uses this power on Daddy Randy all the time.) And then she told me to apologize to him._

_And I did. But boy, was I embarrassed._

_And then I learned something. Promises that you can't keep are really bad and shouldn't be made. They not only hurt the person you made the promise to, you it also hurts you as well on an emotional level. And yet at the same time, you can't stop yourself from promising. In special times, it's the only thing you can do to make yourself feel better, help somebody, or lie to someone. But in the end, the promises always choose their own paths as to whether they come true or not._

_Promises like those really shouldn't be said. They can mend hearts, break spirits, or fill a person with lots of happiness. Each broken promise can have many different effects, and yet with each broken promise, you almost always end up with one thing._

_Guilt._

_I remember this one time, where Daddy Randy had to decide whether or not to break one of his promises. He had a lot to lose by breaking either promise. Either way, someone was going to get hurt, and he probably shouldn't have made that promise in the first place, but what can you do? He's only human._

_One of those promises was to me, though. I remember that day. I can still feel my heart breaking._

* * *

Jeff blinked, glancing up Jamie's feeding with a confused look on his face. "You wanna throw a birthday party? This Sunday?"

"Yeah!" John nodded excitedly. "A nice little surprise party for Jamie. We can even sing our special song for her and Junie! I'm already going though the process of getting a license so that we can privately use part of the park for the festivities." The young detective grinned, patting himself on the back for his thoughtful planning, before he turned to Jeff with a serious stare. "Stay quiet about this, though. You can invite Matt and Shannon and whoever you think will help, but this has to be a complete secret from Junie."

"And why's that, Cena?" Jeff asked dryly. "If you've forgotten, Junie happens to be Jamie's _momma_. I'm pretty sure our baby girl's gonna blow her top off if her own mother ain't invited…" He popped a spoonful of mashed potatoes past Jamie's lips, grinning when she immediately swallowed and opened her tiny mouth for more.

"Junie's coming to the party too, dumbass," John snapped, resulting in him getting flipped off emotionlessly by the rainbow-haired artist. "But there's no way she's going to bring up Jamie's birthday. She'll probably keep all quiet about it—"

"—because that's just how she is," Jeff finished, sighing as he spooned another helping of potatoes into the tiny infant's mouth. "If she hears about this party beforehand, she'll probably try to talk us out of it. I get it, Cena."

"Get what?" Randy interrupted, drying off his head as he entered the dining room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. "What're you guys talking about?"

"Jamie's birthday is this weekend, man," John explained, instinctively ducking as a rather playful Jamie threw a handful of potatoes at his head. "We're gonna throw a party, so keep it a secret from Junie, okay? She'll never let us plan one if she knew…"

"A party?" The Legend Killer blinked, before a scowl made its way across his handsome face. "Man, can't we just skip past something like that? A surprise party for a one-year-old is too excessive, in my opinion. That, and it's bound to be expensive…"

"What?" John stared at Randy in disbelief. "You jackass! This is not the time to be cheap! This is Jamie's first birthday we're talking about! The only first birthday in her life! We have to invite a shitload of people and make it memorable and fun!"

"Well—well, _yeah_, but…"

"No buts about it! If it were up to me, and if I had that kind of money, I'd rent out a huge hotel and make it a big fucking deal!"

"Cena…" Jeff threw a warning glance at John, covering a blissful Jamie's ears in the process. "Watch that mouth of yours. Jamie's at that age where she's gonna try speaking for the first time, and I don't want the first word out of her mouth to be a profanity."

"Oops." The young detective laughed nervously, and patted a nonchalant Jamie on the head. "Sorry about that…"

"You do have a point, though," Jeff went on. "This is the day our baby girl officially came into our lives. We can't ignore it for anything, and that includes money, Orton." The rainbow-haired artist then glared hard at the Legend Killer, who squirmed slightly under his stare.

"I never said that we should _ignore_ it," Randy said pathetically, trying his best to save face. "I mean, think about Junie! She's never gonna be comfortable enough with the idea to go for this. I say we should just buy a cake and celebrate with close family members. Besides," he added grumpily, "if we have to order catering, we'd have to spend at _least _a couple of thousand dollars on food, and I'm not in the mood to spend that much on a kid who still has trouble eating mashed bananas."

"Gack!" Jamie shrieked, flinging her food at Randy in protest. _That is so mean, Daddy Randy! I don't have that much trouble eating anymore! I only dribble once or twice a feeding now, thank you very much!_

"We're having the party," John growled, narrowing his eyes at Randy so murderously that the Legend Killer actually found himself backing away from the young detective. "End of discussion! Hardy, you handle the invites. Orton, at least order a nice large cake and some drinks, would you? Or would that make your wallet bleed instead of your heart?"

"Screw you, Cena!"

"I'm not a fag like you, Orton. I don't use two bottles of baby oil on my body after every shower."

"WHY YOU SON-OF-A—"

"Anyway," the young detective went on, blatantly ignoring the increasingly furious being that was Randy Orton, "I'll try to get the permit for the park in time, and I'll get some of the guys at the department to help with decorations. I know that Cody's been dying to play with Jamie again, and I think Austin misses her too…" John then paused, before he gave the others an uneasy look. "There's one more thing, though. I…I think we have to blow balloons again…"

"WHAT?" Jeff paled, and he looked up at John with wide, horrified eyes. "Oh—oh come on, Cena! Tell me you're joking! I don't wanna have to blow up all those balloons again! Tell me you're _joking_!"

* * *

_**Party Detail #1: Balloons**_

He wasn't joking.

"I fucking hate balloons!" Jeff shrieked, staring at the many, _many _bags of unfilled balloons in absolute dismay. "Damn it, Orton, why can't you just buy one of those damn balloon blowing machines? My lungs…my poor lungs are shriveling up and dying just because of your cheapness…"

"It's too late," Randy snapped, tying off the end of his own balloon. "Just shut up and blow. If we buy a tank now, we can't get a refund."

"FUCK YOU! I'm gonna make the banners—you blow them up by yourself, Orton!" Spinning on his heel, Jeff left the room in a huff, grumbling loudly about cheap bastards who wouldn't spend a dime on others even if their lives depended on it.

"…"

"…"

"Well," John said brightly, following Jeff as he rose to his feet, "since Hardy gave the task of balloon blowing to you, I think I'll just get a head start on the rest of the decorations. See ya!" With that, John zipped out of the room, leaving a flabbergasted Randy with a mountainous pile of balloons yet to be blown.

"H-hey! _Hey_! Get your ass back here, Cena! I'M NOT BLOWING THESE FUCKING BALLOONS BY MYSELF!"

* * *

_**Party Detail #2: Birthday Banners**_

Despite the fact that he tended to get covered from head to toe in paint, marker lines, and stray bits of glue and paper, Jeff considered banner-making to be a much more enjoyable experience than blowing balloons, if only for the fact that making banners did not involve abusing a person's lungs in any way, shape, or form.

And because John had no hand in making the banners, there were no over-the-top messages with tiny words forcefully crammed onto the end of the cloth this time. No overuse of bland or clashing colors. No mockery of the very art that was banner-making. This, by itself, made the rainbow-haired artist very, very happy.

"I can't believe it's been a whole year," Matt commented, picking up the spray paint and tastefully coloring the edges of the banner a deep, luscious gold. "Time really flies when Jamie's around, doesn't it?"

"Mmm-hmm." Lita sighed wistfully as she picked through the photo albums, picking the most heart-warming pictures of Jamie that she could find. "It's really hard not to fall in love with that little firecracker. She has the same magnetic charm as that mother of hers."

"Tell me about it," Shannon agreed, cradling a snoozing Jamie in his arms as he gently rocked her back and forth. "She's really pretty, just like her momma! I tell ya, if I hadn't met and fallen in love with my Julie, I would have taken a shot at Junie myself…"

"Say that again and I'm gonna punch you in the fucking mouth," Jeff snapped, looking up from the banner momentarily to glare at Shannon. "Junie ain't just a gal you can 'take a shot' with. She's gotta be treated with nothing but respect and love."

Matt snorted loudly, and finished spraying the edges of the banners. "I bet you'd know all about that, huh bro? I mean, you being in love with Junie and all…"

"WHAT?" Dropping the glue, Jeff stared up at his older brother with wide, stunned eyes. "W-w-what are you—I don't—what're you joshing at, motherfucker? I—I ain't in love with—I mean, I _am _in—but it's platonic! I—I—" He stammered and sputtered, stumbling over his words as he tried and failed to justify his own feelings towards the young mother.

It didn't quite help that he still wasn't entirely how he felt about her, but his _brother _of all people certainly didn't need to know that…

"Hey man, pipe down!" Shannon scolded, patting Jamie on the back as the tiny infant began to wail and fuss unhappily in his arms. "The little lady is trying to sleep! You can deal with your Junie-confusion another time!"

"I ain't confused, asshole!"

Lita said nothing. She had decided long ago that the Hardy Boyz, plus Shannon, were all loveable idiots. As sweet as they were, there was no real reason why she had to get involved in their endless amounts of pointless arguments. It was much more interesting to simply observe, and besides, if what June had told her before was true, Jeff had some competition in the field, competition that was primarily composed of a man named Dave Batista.

And given that Jeff still hadn't found another job, while Dave was a highly successful doctor, the odds were heavily against him.

Sighing, she pulled out another picture of Jamie, one where the child was wearing an adorable pumpkin costume during Halloween. She grinned at it momentarily before passing it to Jeff, who was pouting angrily at Matt and Shannon's insults while busily arranging and attaching the photographs to the banners.

* * *

_**Party Detail #3: …Every Other Decoration**_

Steve, Cody, Ted, and even the Miz had been egging him on for weeks about Jamie's upcoming birthday. They all wanted to come, and they all wanted to participate in getting the park ready for the big day. The excitement mounted to the point where Steve, after disappearing for several hours, turned up late in the afternoon and dumped several loads of brightly colored party favors and construction paper onto John's desk.

"Don't just sit there with your goddamn mouth hanging open," Steve barked, although a sneaky grin made its way into his face when John's jaw hit the floor from shock. "Get everyone over here, and get your rear ends in gear! We have a party to get ready for, so get to work on these decorations or else I'm gonna open a can of whoop-ass on y'all!"

The young detective, flabbergasted beyond belief, could only nod. "…yes…sir…"

For the next several days, all of the involved officers were all running around like headless chickens. The atmosphere was so bustling and energetic that none of the men could think straight. Even Miz had gotten his hands on a birthday card and was digging around trying to find something to write with.

John spent the rest of the week cutting out paper stars, writing birthday cards, and chastising Cody and Miz for their horrible attempts at cutting construction paper.

"Damn it Cody! What the hell is that? You call that misshapen piece of shit a heart?"

"Lay off, Cena! I haven't done this since I was eight-years-old!"

"And Miz! Get off your lazy ass and help us make the paper ring chains!"

"Fuck you!"

* * *

June marked April 26th on the calendar, smiling sadly as she did so.

The day was fast approaching. The anniversary of when her "Little Miracle from Heaven" first appeared into her life was almost here. It was a wonderful occasion, and June knew that she should have been happy. She _should _have been happy.

But…

More and more, the young mother found herself crying as April 26th drew closer. More and more, she found herself pulling out a small picture from her purse, gazing at it with trembling hands before she clutched it to her chest, willing her hardest to stay calm and composed before Dave or Rey walked in and saw her.

More and more, she found herself wishing that Todd was still alive and here with her.

_Todd…it's already been a year, but I just can't seem to leave you behind. Our baby is a year old now, can you believe it? She's already walking, and she might even start talking soon! If you were here, I bet the first word out of her mouth would be "Dada"…_

"I'm being silly,"June said loudly, sniffing as she quickly wiped her eyes. "I have to stop doing this to myself. Todd is gone, and he's never coming back. Jamie is the only precious thing left in my life now, and I have to be strong for her."

"Strong for whom, June?"

"Oh!" June spun around, and she immediately smiled upon seeing Haley enter the room. "Hi, Miss Haley!" she greeted, giving the lawyer a warm hug. "What are you doing here? Does Miss Vickie need something?"

Haley laughed and returned June's hug. "Vickie's fine. Actually, I came to see…err…Dave." A slight blush appeared on Haley's cheeks, but this went unnoticed by June. "I have a reminder for him, actually. The Guerrero Foundation will be holding their annual Charity Poker Tournament soon, and all leading doctors of the hospital branches are encouraged to attend." Haley pulled away, and gave June a smile. "You can come too. I have a hunch that Chris is going to be there, and to be honest, you're the only one who can keep him in line."

"Oh." June's smile faded slightly, as images of her father (no, he was not her father, he was a _bum_) wasting away his money on cards suddenly plagued her mind. Playing the occasional game of five-draw with the boys was one thing, but the poker tournament was another matter entirely. "I—I see. Um, well, I'm not one for cards, Miss Haley. But I'm sure I'm not the only one who can keep Mr. Jericho happy. He likes you too, and his wife is good at handling him as well!"

"Yes, but I have to stay by Vickie and Edge's side that night, unfortunately. I'm rather good at Texas Hold'em, you see, and Edge seems to be under the crazy idea that he can actually outplay me." The lawyer shook her head in amusement. "Oh well, he'll have to learn the hard way. But as for Chris…I'd ask his wife to babysit him, but Jessica hasn't been visiting Chris as much ever since he caused a fight with Big Show and got his arm…err…_accidentally _broken."

"Yes…" June winced, remembering the too-recent disturbance that Chris had—once again—caused. "Mr. Jericho hasn't stopped howling about his arm since yesterday. Dr. Wight didn't sedate him again, did he?"

Haley raised a knowing brow. "Why else do you think it's so quiet around here? Besides, it keeps him from calling his lawyers, and I'm not really in the mood to deal with them right now."

"Ah."

"Anyway," Haley went on, "please come, June. It would really make everyone _that _much happier."

"Well…" The young mother bit her lip. "I guess I could just stay and watch the others play…"

"Great! The poker tournament is a formal event, so formal wear is recommended, but of course—" Haley smirked teasingly "—you'll probably look fantastic no matter what you put on. And I'm sure Dave won't complain about what you wear, either."

"Hmm?" The young mother blinked innocently and tilted her head. "What do you mean, Miss Haley?"

"What, you mean you don't know?"

"Know what?"

_…my god. She really doesn't know, does she? She doesn't know that Dave's madly in love with her. She is the luckiest woman in the world, and she doesn't even know it. _"…never mind." Haley sighed, and instead linked arms with June and led her out to the cafeteria. "Actually, I have to talk to you too. About you, me, Lita, and Gail having a Girls' Night Out for Jamie's big day—"

"Right!" June exclaimed, perking up as she tightened her arm around Haley's. "Lita suggested that we all go to the park that day! It sounded good, since the weatherman said that it was going to be sunny with clear skies all day."

"Yes. Um…" Haley bit her lip, before giving the young mother an apologetic stare. "June, I'm so sorry about this, so please don't get upset."

"W-what is it?"

"An old teacher of mine asked me to come to an important get-together at his place. You see, we're in the middle of a really important assignment, and I can't say no to him. But…" Haley paused, looking down ashamedly. "It's on the exact same day as Jamie's birthday. I—I can't go with you guys. I'm—I'm sorry…"

"Oh." June's face fell, but she still managed to smile. "I see…"

"I'm so sorry, June," Haley pressed on, her entire form wracked with guilt. "I'd come if I could, but I can't—"

"It's alright," the young mother said quickly, squeezing the lawyer's hand reassuringly. "If duty calls, duty calls. Jamie won't mind, so it's okay."

"Still," Haley insisted, "I'm going to have Gail bring that big dollhouse I brought. Jamie should at least get her gifts on time, even if I'm not there."

June laughed quietly. "I'm sure she'll love it. Thank you so much, Miss Haley. But…" The young mother hesitated, before she asked curiously, "Pardon me for being nosy, but who is your teacher? He must be quite the man to have taught you, seeing as you're already very talented."

"HA! You're such a sweet-talker!" Still, the corners of Haley's lips twitched upwards ever so slightly, and she seemed a little happier than she was a few seconds ago.

As they passed by Hunter, who was discussing something with Shawn Michaels (who seemed to be clutching at his head, shrieking that he _wasn't _balding and that Hunter was a filthy, filthy liar), Haley's lips stretched into a full grin, mischievous intentions forming in her mind.

"You know June, the _old_ man isn't really anything special," Haley said loudly, instantly catching the attentions of both Hunter and Shawn as they stared curiously at the two women. "My _old_ teacher is getting all _old _and wrinkly, and because he's getting so _old_, he's getting nasty _old _crows' feet under his _old _eyes, which are starting to match the _oldness _of his wrinkled _old _skin. Of course, he tries to lie and say that the wrinkles are only laugh lines, but it's clear that he's in complete denial about his _oldness._"

"…"

"…"

"So…he's old?" June asked hesitantly, not sure what to make of Haley's sudden and strange outburst.

"Yup. That's all he is now. He's _old._" Turning her head back, Haley stuck her tongue out playfully at a less-than-pleased Hunter, before disappearing with June into the hospital cafeteria.

Shawn blinked, before turning to Hunter and staring closely at his face. "Oh wow," the president of HeartBreak Kids Incorporate commented. "You really do have crows' feet! Ha! That's good news for me! My face isn't all crusty and wrinkly like yours, _old_ man! HA!"

Hunter's left eye twitched, before he gave his supposed best friend a gritted smile. "Watch your mouth, Shawny boy. At least I still have all of my hair…"

A horrified gasp. "YOU—YOU JUST PROMISED THIRTY-TWO SECONDS AGO THAT YOU WOULDN'T MENTION THAT AGAIN! _EVER_!"

Hunter snorted. "You started it…"

* * *

On Friday night, both John and Jeff were done with the decorations and banners.

On Friday night, Randy had yet to finish blowing up the balloons.

"You whorish-son-of-a-whore!" John yelled, smacking Randy over the head with a recently filled balloon as the Legend Killer blew morosely into an unfilled one. "You were supposed to finish blowing all of the balloons by now!"

Randy didn't immediately reply—instead, he reached up, poked John hard in both of his eyes, and went back to quietly blowing his balloons as John stumbled back, howling in pain.

"OW! YOU SON-OF-A—AS SOON AS I GET MY VISION BACK, I'M GONNA STRANGLE YOU!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Jamie wailed loudly as she looked up from the floor, kicking the colorful balloons away in frustration. _Would you all stop fighting? You're giving me a headache! Can't you bums see that I'm trying to play with these balloons? Sheesh!_

"What the heck were you doing all week, anyway?" Jeff asked, taking the lower, quieter road while ignoring the fact that John was stumbling blindly around the room, swinging wildly at anything he thought was Randy. "I mean, I know these are a lot of balloons, but it shouldn't have taken you this long."

"I've been busy with Sam," the Legend Killer replied gruffly. "She's my girlfriend, if you've forgotten."

"Oh. Right." Jeff rolled his eyes. "You must be serious about her if you can't even take the time to blow up ten balloons a night."

"Fuck you!" Randy snapped, tossing his now filled balloon at the rainbow-haired artist's head. "Sam happens to be a very important business investment for me, okay? I can't go around screwing things up just because of the brat!"

_Hey! _Jamie pouted at Randy, waddling over to her possible father as she grasped at his pant leg angrily with her tiny fists. _I am not a brat, you doo-doo meanie face! You take that back or I'll punt you in the head!_

"And anyway," Randy went on, shooing the little baby away as Jeff picked her up and cradled her in his arms, "I still have all night, don't I? I mean, everything will be ready by the party tomorrow, so stop trying to crawl up my ass about this."

"Tomorrow?" Jeff blinked, and even John stopped trying to wander round the room in his quest to murder Randy. "What the hell do you mean, tomorrow? Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Well, yeah! Saturday is Jamie's party, isn't it? You said it was gonna be this weekend, so I thought it was Saturday."

Silence.

In that brief moment, the room became so still, so quiet, so _uncomfortable _that the tension could have been easily cut with a knife. At last, John (who finally got his vision back) spoke up.

"Orton," he said slowly, "Jamie's birthday is on the 26th."

"…"

"That means it's this _Sunday_."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well?" John cried out, crossing his arms as Randy stared hard at the floor. "What the hell is your problem now? Saturday, Sunday, same difference, right?"

"Actually, no." The Legend Killer bit his lip, before he swore quietly and got off the sofa, heading towards his room with his hands clenched and held hard at his sides. "That's not good. I—I can't go on Sunday. Fuck that. Forget it—"

"HEY!" John grabbed Randy hard by the arm and spun him around, until both men were staring at each other eye-to-eye. "What do you mean, 'forget it'? We can't forget Jamie's birthday! It's the most important day of her life!"

"Then change the fucking date!" Randy yelled, startling Jamie so much that she began to cry. "Change it to tomorrow, or to Monday! I can't go on Sunday!"

"Why the hell not?" Jeff said angrily, immediately holding Jamie against his chest as he patted her back, attempting to calm the baby down. "We can't change the date! The park permit is only for Sunday, and we've already invited everyone! We even invited your annoying little brother and your sister! What the hell is so important that you have to miss this?"

"What do you _think_?" Randy sneered. "I have business matters to attend to! Hunter invited me to his own party on Sunday, and this could finally be my chance to find out enough details about him to crush him and the McMahons to the ground!"

"Tell him you can't go!" John demanded, his teeth grinding hard against one another in a desperate attempt to not lose his temper. "Tell him you have other plans! Crush him to the ground some other time, goddamn it!"

"Cena, have you lost your mind? This is Hunter we're talking about. He's one of the biggest names in the industry right now. I can't just tell him no! He'll never let me get close to him ever again!"

"Then what about Jamie?" Jeff asked dryly, gently rubbing the back of the hiccupping infant in his arms. "Are you saying that it's okay to bail out on _her_ party, but it's a sin to refuse Hunter's invitation?"

Randy growled, and glared icily at both of his friends. "Don't you dare make me out to be the bad guy. You guys are gonna be there, aren't you? That's why it's a good thing that she has _three _of us! If one can't make it, then the other two can cover for him! Besides—" he placed a hand against his heart "—I'm already celebrating deep inside. I'm really happy for Jamie! I really am!"

"What about the song?" John said suddenly.

The Legend Killer paused. Then, he slowly turned to John with a wary eye. "Y-yeah? What about the stupid song?"

"You're supposed to sing the low parts! Hardy and I can't reach the low notes like you can! The song won't sound right!"

A look of discomfort flashed through Randy's features. "Yeah, I guess…" He bit his lip, before he suddenly remembered Sam, Vince, Hunter, and the wealth he sought to attain. There was no contest, at least for the moment. Shaking his head, Randy let out a low growl. "NO! Forget it! It's not important to sing this one stupid little song! I'm not choosing Jamie and Junie over Sam, so just fucking forget it!" With that, he shoved John away and slunk off into his room, slamming the door loudly behind him before locking it.

"Hey!" John stared at the closed door, before he fumed and began to pound on the polished wood in rage. "Hey, you PUNK! Open the door! I'm not finished with you yet!"

"Just let him go, Cena," Jeff said quietly, sighing as he rocked the now silent Jamie in his arms. "I knew he was gonna bail out, the bastard. Let's just finish blowing the balloons before Junie gets home."

"But…" the young detective stared one last time at Randy's door, before he let out a howl of fury and kicked a hole into the nearby wall.

* * *

…

_Daddy Jeff, what's going on? Why were you and Daddy John and Daddy Randy fighting?_

_Is Daddy Randy not coming to my birthday party? No! I want him to be there! _

_Tell mommy! She can give Daddy Randy a kiss and convince him to come! Look, here comes mommy now! Come on, tell her what happened! Daddy Jeff? BAH! Daddy John, __**you **__tell her! Make her convince Daddy Randy to come to my party! No one can say no to mommy's hugs and kisses!_

…

_Why won't you say anything to her? Why are you all giving her fake smiles?_

_Daddy Randy, do you hate me? Is it something I did? Because I'm sorry! Please don't hate me! Please come to my party! I'll even let you have the first piece of cake! You don't even have to buy me a present! …well, actually, I'm gonna be pretty mad if you don't buy me a present. But I'll try to get over it! Please come to my party…please…_

_What do you mean, he's not going to be there? _

_NO! He HAS to be there! I want Daddy Jeff, Daddy Randy, Daddy John, and mommy to be there for me…always…_

* * *

June just couldn't put her finger on it. From Friday night to Sunday morning, she could feel that something was off about the entire apartment.

Of course, she wasn't entirely sure, and she had no proof that something was wrong. Still… a woman's intuition wasn't often wrong. Maybe it was the way Randy kept glaring at John and Jeff every two seconds. Maybe it was the way John kept addressing Randy in that cold, insolent manner. Maybe it was the way Jeff kept fussing over Jamie, who in turn seemed less perky than usual. Maybe it was a combination of all of these factors.

Or maybe she was just going insane.

But as she trudged out of her room on Sunday morning, stretching in nothing but a slimming nightshirt and a pair of shorts, she found Randy leaving though the front door. She rubbed her eyes and blinked—it might have been the fact that she was still a bit tired, but Randy looked rather handsome today in his form-fitting blue dress shirt and his black pants.

…_no. I'm just tired._

"Randy?" June called out quietly, gently grabbing the Legend Killer's arm just before he left. "Randy, where are you going? Did you eat breakfast yet?"

"I'm fine," he replied gruffly, his eyes raking over June's form for the briefest of seconds before he reluctantly pulled his arm out of her grasp. "I'll grab something from outside, so don't you worry about me, Junie."

"Okay…well, if you see Miss Lita and Miss Gail outside, you might see them holding several large presents. Help them bring it inside if you see them, okay?"

"Presents?" It was at this point where John and Jeff came in, both yawning as they gave Randy the coldest glares in their arsenal. "What presents, Junie?" John asked, his voice feigned with confusion. "Is it someone's birthday today? Someone's _special _birthday, today?" He narrowed his eyes at Randy, who merely scoffed and tied his shoes at the front door.

June stared at the men worriedly. There it was again, that feeling of discomfort and tension… "Um, I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you guys to go out of your way…but it's Jamie's birthday today."

"Oh really?" John said, pretending to sound shocked and surprised. "Oh my GOD! I didn't know that! Did _you_, Orton? Did _you _know it was Jamie's birthday today? Huh? HUH?"

Randy didn't reply.

"John, it's okay," June said hurriedly. "He didn't know. Gosh, now I feel bad for bringing it up."

"What are you talking about, Junie?" the young detective said loudly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "It's Jamie's birthday! We gotta celebrate! It's her first birthday, after all…" He then scowled. "Her one and _only _first birthday, although I guess some _creeps _don't care about stuff like that…"

"Knock it off, Cena," Jeff muttered, rubbing his temples as he tried not to lose his temper. "He's got plans he obviously can't break. Leave him alone."

Randy finished tying his shoes in silence, before he stood up and gave June a weak smile. "Hey…tell the brat I said Happy Birthday, okay Junie?"

"Of course." June nodded. "Thank you, Randy…"

"What are you thanking him for?" John cried incredulously, as the Legend Killer finally left the apartment and closed the door behind him with a soft _click_. "Why that—that bastard! I can't believe he left! That son-of-a-bitch!"

"Stop it," Jeff growled, grabbing John and forcefully pulling him into the kitchen. "We'll just celebrate without him, that's all." Turning to June, the rainbow-haired artist grinned. "Junie, don't you lift a finger today. We'll make breakfast, okay?"

"O-oh. Really?" June paled slightly, still remembering Jeff's last (un)successful attempts to make her a meal out of undercooked bacon and overcooked eggs. But, seeing the brightness in his beautiful green eyes, she found herself nodding anyway. "That's so sweet of you, love…"

"And I'll help!" John declared boisterously. "I'll make that French toast you like so much, Junie!"

Here, all of the blood left June's face as she imagined the state the kitchen would be left in after they were finished. "Oh…goodie. Eh-heh-heh…"

Luckily, Lita and Gail had arrived a few minutes later, carrying several large packages of presents for the still slumbering Jamie. Much to June's relief, the girls had offered to take everyone out to eat, so the potential French toast disaster was thankfully avoided.

* * *

**A/N: Wow, this chapter sucks. :| **

**Well, that Donald Trump storyline was utterly, stupidly pointless. Sure, there was good old Vince abuse, but still, it could have been stretched longer. Again, I say…why are the storylines so lackluster now? And how long is Jericho going to be a heel? It's getting boring. Oh well…at least Santina's fired. Otherwise…the matches scheduled on the commercial-free RAW were actually pretty nice. I mean, seeing Rey preparing a 12-foot dive from Khali's shoulders will always make me smile! :3**

**I just hope he doesn't have to lose his mask. Sure, I like him mask-less because he's mega cute-looking, but Rey won't be Rey without his mask. He'll be…Oscar. :|**

**Current poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 12 votes **

**John Cena: 8 votes **

**Jeff Hardy: 6 votes **

**Dave Batista: 2 votes (Don't worry Dave, I still like you! T-T)**

**Have Them All: 7 votes (Squee~! That's a girl's paradise, right there. :D)**


	29. You Were Born To Be Loved

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Twenty-Nine: You Were Born To Be Loved**

_What do you think about having birthday parties? I personally love them! It's the bestest day of the year, in my opinion! _

_The celebration of the anniversary of one's birth is a big deal around family and friends, especially in a super cool family like mine! Lots of people always bring me gifts and send cards, and I'm lucky enough that my mommy and daddies throw really big parties for me. One time, Daddy John took me to a water park! It was so awesome!_

_Don't even get me started on how wonderful everyone treats me on my birthday. It's like I'm a little princess! Of course, you can't pull any attention away from me to begin with, because I am naturally the most perfect little girl in the whole wide world…but still. Teehee!_

_That's not even the best part, though. You guys know what the best part of a birthday is, don't you? Come on, it's easy!_

…

_Give up? It's the cake, of course! Duh!_

_Let me tell you a secret. Cake is practically the only thing that mommy and Daddy Randy like about birthdays. I mean, who WOULDN'T like cake? Cake tastes sweet and fluffy. And it's definitely much better to focus on the deliciousness of a cake than it is to focus on the fact that you're growing all old and wrinkly. One minute you're 15, and the next thing you know, you're eleventy bazillion years old! Life definitely wouldn't be sweet by then, so we all have to live our lives to the fullest. _

_Savor the moment, if you will!_

_I think that as long as you can enjoy the sweet taste of a well made cake, you can savor that wonderful experience forever._

* * *

Randy sat in his car in silence, his hands clenched so tightly around the wheel that he was on the verge of breaking it right off.

Fifteen minutes had passed since he parked his car outside of the McMahon-Levesque mansion. However, throughout the entirety of those fifteen minutes, he made no move whatsoever to leave his car, and instead stared hard at a small scratch on his windshield, attempting and failing to ignore the gnawing, aching feeling deep within his chest.

Guilty. He actually felt _guilty_ for skipping out on Jamie's birthday party.

…

Damn it all.

DAMN IT ALL!

He gritted his teeth and growled. It wasn't fair. He was the fucking Legend Killer, damn it. He was the object of lust and desire for beautiful women around the globe. He was the hated role model of any and all ambitious men who resided on the planet. He shouldn't be feeling guilty, shouldn't _have _to be feeling guilty, especially considering that he already did his part. He fed the brat, clothed the brat, let the woman live under the same roof as him…what more did he have to do?

No, as far as Randal Keith Orton was concerned, he didn't have any obligations to June Grisham and her bastard child. He wasn't her husband, and he wasn't that brat's father. He didn't _have _to do anything more. He was a free man, damn it!

…

_Yeah, right._

Randy groaned and pressed his forehead against the top of the steering wheel. Ever since he had left the apartment, unwanted images had flooded mercilessly throughout his cranium. Images of him changing Jamie. Images of Jamie shrieking angrily at him as she threw mashed carrots at his face. Images of Jamie laughing as she splashed around in her tub, getting him wet in the process…

…images of June giggling at him as he grumpily passed the soaking wet (and deviously smiling) baby into her arms. Images of June gently touching his shoulder after a hard day at the office. Images of June thanking him with a warm smile, just because he poured a glass of water for her. Images of June. June. _June…_

Scowling, the Legend Killer shook his head, desperately trying to clear his mind of that _woman _and that _child_, but his psyche was persistent, unforgiving, and relentless. This wasn't good. He had to be sick—yes, something vile and revolting was definitely manipulating his mind. In the past, he never once gave a damn about others; he didn't even visit his old man during Christmas last year, all because he had been in the middle of a large business deal with Hulk Hogan. No, whatever illness he was going through now, it was definitely viral to his predatory senses, and it was making him far too edgy.

Too much of it was related to June, and he didn't like it. Not one bit.

_You could always just pull out of the lot and go to the park instead_, his mind whispered quietly. _It would make June happy. Besides, nobody even knows you're here yet, so you could just tell Hunter an excuse as to why you couldn't be at his get-together…_

"Shut up, brain," he said angrily to himself. "As if I give a fuck about what Junie wants. This is my golden opportunity! I am NOT going to that brat's party! I don't care about Jamie, and I don't give a rat's ass about Junie! I don't!"

Silence.

He slumped forward and pressed his forehead hard against the top of the steering wheel. "I really don't…" he whispered pathetically, but even a blind, deaf, and mute mongrel wouldn't have believed him at this point.

His knuckles were beginning to turn white from the way he was gripping the wheel, but he didn't care. His conscience had picked the most inopportune moment to reveal itself, and it showed absolutely no signs of going away any time soon. Damn it, just what did everyone want from him? Either way he chose, he was going to lose something, whether it was Hunter's trust or his close connection with June and her daughter. What the hell was he suppose to—

Suddenly, his cell phone went off, and Randy nearly jumped out of his skin at the loud, irritating sound. Growling, he reached down and yanked the device out of his pocket, flipping it open as he curtly read the text message that flashed across the screen.

_**Where are you, Randy? Everyone's already arrived. -Sam-**_

Well, fuck. Like he _really_ needed the added pressure.

June or Sam. The choice had seemed so obvious in the morning. He had left the others without looking back once. But now he couldn't even bring himself to open the damn door to his car. Couldn't even find the strength to walk up to the mansion and muster up a feigned smile towards Samantha and Hunter. The thought of destroying his long time opponent, while once exciting and exuberating, now only made him feel nauseous and queasy as he considered exactly what he had to sacrifice in order to get close enough to his so-called prey.

_Damn it all to HELL._

His jaw set, Randy started the ignition and painstakingly shifted the car into gear, pulling out of his parked position with an unreadable expression on his face.

* * *

The McMahon-Levesque estate seemed to sparkle with every drop of luxury the family had. The tables were covered with fresh linen, decorated with sparkling crystals and candle holders made of gold. The waxed marble floors reflected every gentleman and lady who attended, and waiters in white jackets rushed about with dark bottles of liquor and large baskets of pastries.

Hunter sat at a small table with a glass of gin in his hand, swirling the drink as he looked around the room in boredom. To his disappointment, Shawn and Rebecca Michaels had unfortunately been too busy to attend the little gathering. That meant that other than Stephanie and Haley, there was no one he could really talk to, not unless he wanted to get dragged into conversations involving clothing, money, or fancy trips to France and Germany.

And even with Stephanie and Haley, there was a high chance he would get dragged into conversations involving clothing, money, and European trips anyway.

_Curse women and their annoying feminine mannerisms…_

It didn't help that he felt rather disgusted by the people his father-in-law invited. Not that he hated _all _of the people on Vince's side of the guest list, of course—Mark Calaway and Montel Vontavious Porter were men he could tolerate, even if they were a bit frightening (this was for Mark) and overbearing (this was for MVP) at times. For Hunter, they were potential allies…and, if he ever attained a certain level of influence over them, potential targets.

But then there were people like Adam "Edge" Copeland.

Hunter took a large swing of his drink as he eyed the blonde Canadian, who was currently chatting loudly with Chavo, Ryder, and Hawkins. He hadn't even considered adding Edge to his side of the guest list, not only because he hated the younger man, but also because when he originally decided the guests, he had wanted to talk to Randy Orton without risk of interference from the opposition.

The young Legend Killer, while lacking in age, had a considerable amount of influence and power under his belt, and that included having a considerable amount of influence and power regarding Vickie Guerrero's company. At the time, Hunter had considered Randy to be the pivotal tipping point of the dangerous game he was playing, and thus he had sent the ambitious young man the rare and much sought after invitation to the McMahon-Levesque mansion.

Of course, he had sent the invitation _before _he had discovered how much control June Grisham had over Chris Jericho, so Randy wasn't _quite _as important to him now as he had been a few days ago. But still, if the boy did show up, he couldn't very well let the opportunity get away from him, could he?

"_I thought I finally received a break  
Only to see the sun fall…"_

He glanced over at Vince, and rolled his eyes at the sight of the old man drooling quite obviously over a pair of young, beautiful twins dressed in red. (Linda, conveniently, was nowhere in sight.) The girls, who Hunter vaguely remembered as Brie and Nikki Bella, were currently situated at the grand piano, with Brie playing an abstract piece that Hunter couldn't identify while Nikki was standing beside her, engaged in a song.

Throughout her singing it was clear that the younger Bella twin had decided at some point that everything in life was very, very desolate and forlorn—she was not only bawling the notes horrendously off-key, but she was also sobbing hysterically between pauses before taking up the lyrics again in a trembling alto tone.

"_My eyes will not see what they longed to see  
My lips will not taste what they longed to taste_

_Why does life have to be like this  
Full of hate and pain,  
Instead of joy and bliss…"_

"She had a fight with her boyfriend, you know," a voice explained suddenly. Hunter whirled around in his seat and found himself face-to-face with Edge, who was sipping at a glass of cordial while tutting loudly at Nikki's poor performance. "Shame about what Morrison did to her," Edge went on in a bored manner, "but you know how underwear models are like these days. They're all either two-timing pussy hunters, or they're two-timing cock suckers. And this goes for both genders, by the way…"

"Well, that was a disturbing piece of information I didn't need—or want—to know about," Hunter grumbled, making a face as he set down his drink. "What do you want, Copeland? Can't you see that I'm trying to sulk and brood menacingly in peace?"

"Why sulk or brood at all?" Edge exclaimed, his voice filled to the brim with false surprise and geniality. "It's a party, man! Have a cookie, dance with someone!"

"Leave me alone or I'll get old Sledgy out from my cedar closet."

"And why should I do that?" the Canadian asked quietly. "So you'll have a chance to be alone with young Randal? So that you'll have a chance to mess with that punk's fucked up mind and steal his precious, precious shares?" He then gave Hunter a contemptuous grin, hoping to earn a negative reaction from the older man.

…

He got no such reaction.

Only a bright smirk stretched past Hunter's lips, and he laughed as he snatched Edge's drink straight from his hands and took a quick sip. "Ha! Oh, you slay me, kid! Tell me, how do you come up with these crazy theories of yours? I just gotta know; they crack me up!"

"What the hell do you mean?" Edge snapped, grabbing his cordial back as he narrowed his eyes unpleasantly. "Why else would you suddenly invite Orton to one of your stupid little get-togethers, if you weren't going to try to weasel something out of him? I know for a fact that you don't give a fuck about him and his pathetic little attempts to climb his way to the top…"

"It sounds like you're trying to insinuate something about me," Hunter commented casually. "Is it so hard to believe that I can be a decent guy for once in my life, bub? Is it so hard to believe that I invited Randy _purely_ for the pleasure of his company?"

Silence.

Then, a small sigh of frustration from Edge.

"…to be honest…yeah. It's actually _very _hard to believe, Hunter."

"God damn it all. So much for telling old Santie Claus that I've been a good boy this year."

Edge growled, poked a finger hard against the older man's chest. "Stop playing stupid, Hunter! I know what you've been up to…you and that psychotic beast Batista and that pathetic midget Mysterio! You've all been sneaking around, secretly collecting shares and stocks! Did you honestly believe I wouldn't notice?"

"Notice what?" Hunter asked calmly.

"Don't you dare act dumb around me!" Edge hissed. "Don't you _dare_! I know you're trying to steal Vickie's company right from under her nose!"

"…"

"…"

Hunter cocked his head curiously at Edge. "Is that all?"

"_Is that all?"_ The blonde Canadian stared at the older man in disbelief. "What the hell do you mean, 'is that all'? So you admit it, then! You, that behemoth, and that Mexican jumping bean are all trying to blindside Vickie!"

"Oh, I never said _that_," Hunter replied briskly, his eyes wandering around the area before fixing on the Guerrero widow, who was in the midst of a lighthearted conversation with Haley and Stephanie. _Good girl, Punkin, good girl…_ "I was just wondering if you were going to try to add other things to your insane list of accusations. So what else are you going to accuse me of, hmm? Fraud? Murder? Causing Shawn's unfortunate male pattern baldness? Because in regards the last one, there's no evidence that _I_ was the one who tampered with his bottle of hair conditioner…"

Edge narrowed his eyes. "Don't try to make this into a joke, Hunter. This isn't funny."

"Who said I was joking? But since you insist on heading straight for the point—" here, the Cerebral Assassin gave Edge a wicked smirk "—let me ask you this. Even if I _was _accumulating stocks…which I'm not…where's your proof?"

"Proof?"

"Have you ever seen me talking with any top shareholders? Are there any records that have me requesting a meeting with Bob Orton or Daniel Bryan? Sure, Dave's a good pal of mine and all, but his shares aren't worth that much, and they're definitely not enough to…I dunno…steal control of Vickie's empire, that's for sure."

Edge said nothing.

"And besides, one would need very detailed information about Vickie to even know the right people to approach for a corporate takeover. And if you recall…" Hunter tapped his chin in thought. "I don't normally go anywhere near Vickie during my visits. Other than my offer to give her the address of that Vegas drive-thru wedding chapel, I usually just hang with Dave and Rey. How could I possibly get any information from her that way? Those two guys have even worse relationships with her than I do, and that certainly wouldn't be a good move on my part."

"I don't know." Edge narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Hunter. "I wouldn't put it past you to hack into Vickie's personal computer, or do something just as underhanded…like having this party to lure Orton into the open."

Hunter snorted in amusement. "Don't flatter yourself, Copeland. Even if I _was_ secretly collecting shares like your insane claim suggests, I wouldn't go to that tenderfoot for help. He's a speck of dust compared to some of my other connections. I don't need him."

"What?" Edge looked up at the older man in alarm. "What the hell do you mean by that? Why else would you invite him here?"

"Like I said earlier…I simply want the pleasure of his company, that's all." Hunter grinned at the stunned look on the blonde's face, before he stood up and stretched his legs. "Besides, even if little Orton doesn't show up, it's no loss to me."

"But—but—it doesn't—" Edge sputtered indignantly, completely confused by this turn of events. "It doesn't make sense! You're up to something, I know it!"

"If you wanna be all paranoid and tense, be my guest."

"Damn it, Hunter—"

Suddenly, a high-pitched, girlish ringtone rang out from behind them, and both Hunter and Edge turned around to see Sam pulling out her cell phone, flipping it open eagerly as her eyes flew over the screen. "Oh, thank god," the men heard her whisper in relief. "It's Randy…huh?" Sam blinked, before she stared harder at the screen. "What the…what does he mean, he can't come? Randy!" Sam immediately tried to call him, but as Hunter and Edge watched, they saw her pull away from her phone abruptly, looking completely aghast. "Randy…please pick up…"

At this, Edge immediately turned to Hunter, searching the older man's face carefully for any signs of disappointment or anger.

But other than a slight sign of mild surprise, his search was absolutely fruitless and uninformative.

* * *

"_Hello, Mr. Orton, and welcome back! How may I help you today?"_

"_Um, yeah…I'd like to buy this dress. I'll pay in cash."_

"_Certainly, sir! Is this for Ms. Speno?"_

"_Um, not really…look, can you just wrap this up in a nice box for me? I'm in a hurry."_

"_Of course. Is this the right size for the lady?"_

"_Her size is 34-24-36."_

"…_wow, that was fast. Hmm, this dress is a bit too big then, Let me get another one from the back…"_

* * *

Before leaving for the park, June had dressed her tiny daughter in every outfit she had. The black jumper from Jeff, the miniature Red Sox baseball uniform from John, the white dress that Randy had brought several weeks ago…all to no avail. When she was finished, Jamie was worn out and June was no closer to deciding than when she had started.

Finally, it was Lita who picked up a white soccer jersey, little blue overalls, the baby blue sneakers, and a blue sun hat from the closet. Grumbling that they were going to the park, not a fancy-pancy restaurant, the redhead snatched Jamie away from the young mother and dressed the giggling child herself.

"Really kiddo," Lita complained as she placed the sun hat on top of a giggling Jamie's head, "stop over thinking everything and just enjoy yourself, would you?"

June hung her head. "Yes, Miss Lita…"

That had been an hour ago. After a quick breakfast at the nearest Denny's, June sat with Gail and Lita in the car, wiping the last remnants of maple syrup from an energetic Jamie's face as they drove towards the park.

"Hold still—come on, Jamie, hold still!" June laughed as she finally got her daughter's face clean again, despite all of little baby's efforts to wiggle out of her arms like an eel. "There! Beautiful!" The young mother panted as she sat back with a gasp. Catching her breath after the tussle, she surveyed Jamie, who in turn looked as if she had been attacked by a demented washcloth—with satisfaction.

"Feisty little thing, isn't she?" Gail commented, leaning over as she pinched the squeaking baby on the cheek. "She's the complete opposite of you, June. You're so calm all the time, and she can't stop moving even for a second!"

"I know," the young mother agreed, grasping her daughter's tiny fist as it flailed through the air. "I think John, Jeff, and Randy have all rubbed off on her. They hang around her so much that I sometimes think Jamie confuses them for her daddies instead of her uncles…"

"Ahahaha!" Lita, who was in the driver's seat, suddenly laughed out loud in a nervous, shrill voice as she sharply braked in front of a red light. "Ahahaha! Oh kiddo, that's a laugh! I mean, Jamie thinks that those three idiots are her daddies? That's ridiculous! Oh, the poor kid! Ahahaha…" The laughter died off, and Lita bit her lip as she tried to stay calm.

_It's okay that June doesn't know about the sperm problem. It's not my place to tell her. Ignorance is bliss, ignorance is bliss…_

Meanwhile, June and Gail both stared at the somewhat frazzled Lita in absolute confusion before exchanging unsure glances. On her part, Jamie was not at all pleased by her godmother's statement, and was now kicking and twisting in an attempt to reach the redheaded woman.

_Hey, Auntie Lita! Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John ARE my daddies! They are NOT my uncles! How dare you say that when it's OBVIOUS that they're my daddies?_

"Anyway," June went on slowly, smiling shyly at both women as her little daughter bounced in her lap in irritation, "I can't thank you guys enough. Going to the park for Jamie's birthday was a wonderful idea! It's inexpensive, and Jamie loves running around in the sandboxes anyway…"

"Thank Amy, not me," Gail admitted. "She's the one who suggested that we go to the playground. I actually wanted to take the baby to the circus, and then to the cheesecake factory so we could all gorge on the many, many varieties of cheese-and-cake related goodness."

"The three of us can gorge on the many, many varieties of cheese-and-cake related goodness some other time," Lita said briskly, turning a corner as she spotted the park in the distance. "I wanted to go to the playground because there's a very special event taking place today."

"Really?" June blinked at the redhead curiously. "What is it? Is there some sort of festival going on?"

Lita laughed, and stopped at the curb. "Something like that, kiddo. Come on, grab the little firecracker and let's go."

* * *

"Cody, Jeff! Move that table a little bit more towards me! Ted, there aren't enough balloons on the top there! MIZ! Hang up that banner properly, asshole! The left side is all crooked!"

"Go to hell, Cena!" Miz snapped, scowling as he tried to straighten the huge, pink and gold banner that Jeff and his friends had made. "I don't see _you_ breaking your back like the rest of us! Why don't you get off that fat ass of yours and actually help us instead of screaming orders all day?"

"Yeah!" Jeff agreed loudly, struggling as he and Cody tried to pull the large table into its proper position. "The only one allowed to shout and scream is Austin, and even _he's_ busy doing useful stuff!"

The rainbow-haired artist pointed angrily towards the Chief Investigator, who was humming quietly to himself as he glued the paper hearts and stars to the mini-posters with Shannon and Nate, Randy's little brother. "You think we should add more sparkles?" Shannon asked, holding up a small jar of glitter. "Little girls like sparkles, don't they?"

"I don't know," Nate grumbled, frowning as he tried to pull off a paste-covered paper heart from his forehead. "I don't even know why Cena and Hardy invited me here. I'm surprised that Randy even cares about June's little girl, to be honest. But yeah, put more sparkles if you want…"

"Dear god, no!" Steve barked, snatching the glitter away. "You crazy? You add any more of that junk, and we'll be on par with that sparkle-obsessed rock star ninny, Chris Jericho! And Cena!" Steve turned his attention to the young detective, and growled. "Miz has a point! Move them lazy bones of yours and bring out the refreshments! I'm getting thirsty over here!"

"Fine, you slave driver!" John retorted, grabbing the iced cans of beer and soda from the cooler as he threw them hard at Steve, Nate, and Shannon, grinning when he saw one of the cans bounce hard off of Nate's head. ("Ow! Cena, you jerk! I outta deck you!") He was just about to grab some more drinks and aim again, when he suddenly saw several figures in the distance. They passed through the entrance of the park and were steadily climbing over grassy mole hills, but John was only interested in the foremost figure, the one who was also carrying a rather fussy little baby in her arms.

"JUNIE!" John leapt onto the table and, ignoring Jeff and Cody's frantic yells for him to get off, he began to jump up and down excitedly, waving his arms while screaming his head off. "JUNIE! JUNIE, OVER HERE! JUNIE! JUUUUUUUNNNNIEEEE!"

"Would you stop that?" John Cena Sr. yelled, grabbing his son and yanking him back to the ground. "Honestly, boy, why are you so excited to see a widowed single mother and her child? Humph, you're going through all this trouble for a baby that's not even yours!"

"Oh, leave him alone, sir," Matt said cheerfully, carefully juggling trays of sandwiches and cake in his arms as he set them on the table. "It's a great thing he and Jeff are doing, after all."

"Humph! Just hurry up and open these bags of sporks, Matthew…"

Meanwhile, June had stopped in shock at the sights of the banners, tables, and food, having suddenly forgotten how to move her legs as she struggled to understand exactly what was going on. In contrast, Jamie exploded with excitement at all of the dazzling colors and festivities, and June soon had to let the little baby down due to her constant movements. The minute her feet touched the grass, Jamie waddled as quickly as she could towards the party, shrieking as she tumbled straight into the arms of an equally excited John.

"Hi, Jamie!" John greeted warmly, giving the tiny infant a lip-smacking kiss on the cheek, making the child scream in happiness. "You're finally here! Happy birthday!"

"Gaaaaaaa!" Jamie babbled, slapping her hands against John's face, only to squeal a second later as she was plucked out of her possible father's arms by a rather nonchalant-looking Steve.

"Hey there, little lady," Steve said gruffly, although his eyes were warm and kind. "You remember me, don't cha? I'm the sheriff of this here town! How'd you like to be my little deputy?"

_Huh? _Jamie stared stupidly at the chief investigator for a moment, before she suddenly smiled and playfully tangled her little fingers into Steve's beard._ Oh yeah! I remember you now, mister! You're the cool guy with hair on his face, but no hair on his head! …does that mean you have to put sunblock on your head during the summer?_

Cody and Ted, who were finally finished with table duties and other unpleasant chores, reached out for the tiny infant, shoving and elbowing each other in an attempt to hold her first. "Hey Mr. Austin, let me hold her!" Cody begged, only to be pushed aside by Ted.

"No, let me, Austin! Cody here's terrible with kids!"

"Am not! Just go away Ted, I was here first!"

"Screw you, Rhodes!"

"Back off, Fairy Queens," Miz said rudely, shoving his way in between Cody, Ted and a nonplussed Steve. "If anything, the little girl should meet a man with _class_ first. So Austin, hand her over here, please…"

"Out of the way!" Shannon said loudly, barreling through all of the men as he snatched Jamie from Steve's arms and whisked her towards a waiting Matt and Lita. "Little Jamie needs some bonding time with Uncle Matt, Uncle Shannon, and Auntie Lita…"

Throughout it all, June had stayed back, tears streaming down her face as she laughed in sheer elation. Clutching her hands to her chest, the young mother fell back against Gail for support, unable to hold herself up for the moment.

On her part, Gail didn't even notice that June was leaning against her—the Asian doctor was equally as surprised and twice as thrilled by the situation. "Oh my goodness!" Gail exclaimed, her eyes shining as she saw Nate Orton release large amounts of balloons in the air, the brightly colored orbs floating in the breeze momentarily before bouncing back down on the ground. "It's like a rainbow, June! …huh." She tilted her head slightly to the side. "They must have blown the balloons themselves instead of using a helium tank. That's odd."

"I can't believe this…" June whispered, still torn between sobbing aloud and laughing her heart out. "They planned this…all of this…for my little Jamie! Why? They didn't have to do this! Why do they have to be so good to me…?"

"June?" Gail stared worriedly at the young mother, before she wrapped a comforting arm around her. "Come on, girl! This is a joyous occasion! You shouldn't be crying! Why, if my friends planned a surprise party like this, I'd be on top of the world!"

"But—but still! They're…they're too good for me…how can I ever repay them for all of their kindness? How?"

"Junie!"

June's mind became blank at the sound of the familiar voice. Slowly turning around, she gasped when she caught sight of Randy running towards her at top speed. "R-Randy?" She quickly wiped her eyes, unsure of what to do as he ran up to her, bending over and panting as he struggled to catch his breath. Her eyes fell on the large, jewel-encrusted teddy bear in one hand and the white, gift-wrapped box in the other. "Randy, what's all this…?"

"I—I—" The Legend Killer panted hard, forcing himself to get his wind back as he finally straightened up, took a deep breath, and cleared his throat. "Junie, I'm sorry I'm late. Jamie didn't blow out the candles yet, did she?" He paused, and stared hard at her face. "Hey…is something wrong? Were you crying? Your eyes are all red…"

"No!" June shook her head frantically. "Nothing's wrong! I'm just crying tears of—of joy, that's all!" The young mother laughed and gave the Legend Killer a soft smile. "I just got here myself, to be honest, so I doubt that everything's set up yet…"

"Good." Randy then smirked, and pressed the white box into her hands. "The teddy bear's for Jamie, but this is for you. It's a dress that was made by the top twenty fashion designers in Europe."

"Oh!" June hesitated, before she slowly, awkwardly took the box. "T-thank you, Randy…but why? It's not my birthday or anything." _And also, you never really like to buy people anything unless you want something from them…_

"Just take it, Junie," Randy said firmly. "While I was shopping for Jamie, I just _happened _to see this dress, and it just _happened_ to be on sale, so don't feel bad about it and just take it, alright? You don't owe me anything. I promise."

"Well…" There was another moment of hesitation, before June finally relaxed. "Thanks, love. This is…very sweet of you." She took a peek inside, and her eyes widened appreciatively at the sight of the beautiful article of clothing. "My goodness! I'll definitely wear this on special occasions, Randy! Thank you so much!" Grinning, she leaned forward and gave the Legend Killer a kiss on the cheek, not noticing how tense his body suddenly became as she quickly pulled away, running as she tried to save her daughter from being smothered by affection from Lita, Shannon, Matt, and half the police force.

"Cody dear, please let go of my baby! I think she wants to walk around, not be hugged to her grave!"

"But Mrs. Grisham, I've only been holding her for seven seconds!"

"Now, please!"

"Damn it. This is all your fault, Ted! Hogging up the baby like that…"

While he watched the commotion from a distance, Randy raised a hand to his kissed cheek, staring after the young mother as an unidentifiable emotion crossed over his handsome features.

_Junie…_

* * *

"Hey, Orton! What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were too busy crushing people to the ground, and whatnot."

"Fuck you, Cena!"

* * *

_Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!_

_I tellsya, no holiday on earth can top the special, happy feeling that a person gets when it's his or her birthday! People gives you lot of hugs, lots of presents, and lots of attention! …although, I don't think Mr. Co-dee and Mr. Teddy needed to hug me THAT much. And that Miz guy…I don't like him. He's all weird and stuff, what with his weirdo hair and all._

_Luckily, Daddy John doesn't seem to like him either, so me not liking Miz is perfectly okay! :D_

_I loved all my presents! But my favorites were the police hat from Daddy John, the paintbrush and paint set from Daddy Jeff, and the sparkly teddy bear from Daddy Randy! And of course, mommy's hugs and kisses are always tops! Sorry to all my daddies, but nothing beats mommy's love! _

_I really, __**really **__loved the cake, though! It was, like, a bazillion feet tall! It was strawberry shortcake, which I like just as much as chocolate! The cake had this really thick, creamy white frosting, and it had these pretty pink roses all over it! And the roses…were made of pink cream! _

…

_That. Is. Awesome._

_Daddy Jeff, instead of putting candles, put sparklers on the top. This made mommy a little worried. "What if the sparks fly onto Jamie and burn up her hair?" she asked worriedly._

_MOMMY! Stop mollycuddling me! I'm wearing a sun hat, for crying out loud! How can the sparks burn up my hair if the hat's protecting my head? Sheesh!_

_Anyhoo, mommy finally gave in, and she and my daddies all helped me in blowing out the sparklers! It was hard, seeing as the cake is __**way**__ bigger than I am, but it was pretty fun! At one point, mommy's face collided with Daddy Randy's, and I think his lips accidentally touched her cheek…_

_Why did their faces turn all red after that, though? I don't get it. Is there something wrong with lips touching another person's cheek?_

_But believe it or not, the coolest, coolest, COOLEST part wasn't the cake. (I know, unbelievable, right?) No, the most amazing part was after the cake, when I was full from all the strawberries and cream, and was relaxing peacefully in mommy's arms._

* * *

As the guests and invitees sat back, trying to work off the large luncheon of sandwiches, hamburgers, hot dogs, and large slices of creamy cake, John, Jeff, and Randy slowly stood up from their seats and walked in front of June and Jamie, the latter of which was in the process of licking off frosting from her tiny fingers. "What's wrong, guys?" June asked, blinking curiously at the three men. "Do you need something?"

"Well, we still have to give our last present, girl!" Jeff explained, smiling widely as he ran his fingers through Jamie's soft dark hair. Poking John in the arm, he said smoothly, "Cena, take it!"

"Right! Now, for the angelic cutie pie known as Jamie Grisham, we three fath—" he grunted when Randy elbowed him _hard_ in the stomach "—ow…I mean, we three _uncles_ will sing a song we prepared specially for the honorary princess. Hey, Austin!" The young detective turned his attention towards Steve. "Turn on the music, man! It's track one on the CD!"

"Whatever…" The Texas Rattlesnake rolled his eyes and pressed the _play_ button on the nearby stereo, making a face when soft-sounding piano music started to float through the speakers. "Oh my god…what is this? It's making my ears bleed…"

"We dedicate this song," Jeff said loudly, "to our lovable little Jamie. We love you, baby girl!"

"Gack!" Jamie laughed sweetly as she lay back against June's soft bosom. _I love you too, guys! Now make with the singing, slaves!_

The three men stared at one another, grinning as the sounds of the piano became louder and faster. Then, when the music suddenly stopped, the voices of the three men soon began to echo throughout the silent park grounds.

"_You were born to be loved…and you're receiving that love in your life now…__Our love that started from the beginning of time, produced fruit through our meeting…because of your existence in this world, you gave us so much joy…__"_

The crowds and party-goers stopped their silent discussions and turned towards the three men in surprise, none of them having expected the trio to sound as pleasant as they did at that moment. Jeff's high tenor was well balanced by John and Randy's lower baritones, and their voices mingled to form a soothing combination of tones and pitches.

And it helped that the lyrics, written by Jeff, were pleasant to listen to as well.

"_God gave a gift to the world when you were born—a person who loves, who cares, who sees a person's need and fills it…Someone who touches each life she enters, and makes a difference in the world…because ripples of kindness flow outward as each person you have touched, touches others…_"

A strange feeling of déjà vu washed over June as the song went on. A weak smile tugged at the edge of her lips, but it didn't stop her from softly singing along with the men, her voice barely above a whisper. "You were born to be loved," she murmured to her daughter, who was watching John, Jeff, and Randy with wide, excited eyes. "And you're receiving that love in your life now…you were born to be loved…you were born to be loved…"

* * *

**A/N: …don't ask me how Randy knew June's body measurements. Use your imagination. :|**

**Well, first off, I'd like to thank **_**Westfan**_**, **_**john cena good gurl**_**, **_**LadyLit**_**, **_**slashdlite**_**, **_**veracruzortangal**_**, and **_**I'mxAxRockstar**_**, **_**dx-nodoubt-dx**_**, **_**Lady IkoYume**_**, **_**AlyJay**_**, and **_**althea293**_** for the wonderful reviews. You guys make me smile. :D**

**Someone asked me about voting more than once. Sorry folks, but only one vote per person in the polls. If you have friends with FF net accounts, you can have them vote to tip the results in your favor. Otherwise, one person will vote for the same person one hundred times, and I don't want that. On other news...is CM Punk turning heel? Aw, I liked him as a face. Cute Man Punk isn't looking so cute anymore. T-T **

**But ohmigawd Evan Bourne and Gail Kim are on RAW now. I don't really care about the other three trade-ins. With these two on Monday nights, I can die happy. *DIES ON SPOT***

**Current poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 17 votes (Whoa! He skyrocketed in votes! Why? O_o) **

**John Cena: 9 votes (Aw, but he's trying so hard to be good! D:)**

**Jeff Hardy: 7 votes (Poor thing, his position hasn't moved all that much. T-T)**

**Dave Batista: 2 votes (I weep…why don't people like him in the story? Oh well. I'll take him then. :D)**

**Have Them All: 8 votes (Heh, having a male harem of gorgeous, muscular men...damn, that would be wonderful for any woman in that position. *drool*)**


	30. A Moment of Insanity

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty: A Moment of Insanity**

_They say it's better to keep your mouth shut and appear a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. I've also heard it said that people are respectable only as they respect others, and that while pride only breeds big, yucky arguments, wisdom is found in those who take advice and learn from their mistakes._

_It's funny how many of those old proverbs turn out to be true, don't you think? I guess that's why people remember all of these weird old sayings for as long as they do—they wouldn't be very proverbial if there were no truth in them. Take, "don't count your chickens before they hatch," for example. I mean, it's okay to get excited about what you're going to do if you win a race, but you should actually WIN the race first before you start celebrating. If you celebrate too soon, you're going to look stupid if you end up losing in the end._

_Man, this proverb stuff is cool._

_Makes you wonder who thought of them in the first place. _

_Nobody thinks up new proverbs anymore, or if they do, I haven't heard any of them. I guess we just aren't observant enough anymore, whether that's being observant towards others, or towards ourselves._

* * *

"Junie, you look exhausted. Go to your room and rest—we'll take care of dinner."

June smiled as John, Jeff, and Randy hovered over her and Jamie, trying to make her drop the wooden spoon she was using to stir the pot of curry. "It's okay, guys. I mean, making dinner is the least I can do after the wonderful party you threw. You guys did all those preparations, and all I did was bring her to the park…" She paused, turning away from the stove to pull the plastic wrapper off of the chocolate, heart-shaped lollipop that Jamie was trying to devour.

"Oh come on," John protested, finally whisking the spoon out of her hands as he pulled her away from the stove. "You and Jamie are the stars today! I'll make dinner for us tonight, how about that?"

"But John…"

"No buts! I'll finish the curry, so you just take Jamie and watch TV in the living room." He pushed the young mother and her small child onto the white sofa, gently shushing her soft protests and arguments until she finally relented.

"Oh, alright, John, you win. But don't make a mess; I just cleaned the kitchen yesterday."

"I won't! Trust me, girl!"

"You know," Jeff commented dryly from the kitchen, as he poured out some kibble for Jack, "I'm surprised you're still hungry after the way you stuffed your face with all those hamburgers, Cena. Doesn't that stomach of yours ever get full?"

"Shut your goddamn mouth!" The young detective whirled around; his eyes narrowing dangerously as Jeff merely flipped him off in response. "You're hungry too, asshole! Don't think I can't hear your stomach growling! Those burgers Miz brought to the party were cheap, unsavory, and not filling in the least!"

Jeff sighed, remembering the tough, hard-to-eat meat patties at the party. "True. That punk can't tell prime rib from three-month-old dog food. Even Jack wouldn't have eaten those burgers today. Which is why I ask again…how could you eat so much of that nasty shit and still be hungry, Cena?"

"Moving on from the useless comments of the hair-dyeing mongoose," John went on, turning his attention back to the young mother as he tried his best not to flatten the quietly chortling Jeff, "Junie, what sort of meat do you want in the curry? Beef? Fish? …beef?"

June sighed, shaking her head at John's persistence before finally smiling. "Well, since you're asking, I was hoping to try adding pork meat to the pot, but we don't have any in the fridge…"

"I could go out and buy—" John began, only to get cut off when Randy suddenly spoke.

"Looks like I'll have to go out and buy some more meat, then," the Legend Killer said tonelessly, getting up from his seat and stretching his long legs before heading towards the apartment door, shoving John rather rudely away from June in the process. ("Orton, you son-of-a-bitch! What was that for?") Before he left, he suddenly stopped and turned back to the young mother, giving her a thoughtful look. "Junie…"

"Yes, love?"

"I'm still a bit full from the party food, so I only need to buy three servings of pork, right?"

"Three servings?" John blinked, before he scowled. "Are you stupid, Orton? There are four adults here. How the hell can we eat three servings?"

"Don't you call me stupid, Cena," Randy growled, advancing menacingly on the young detective. "You've got the lowest IQ in this room, so don't you _dare_. I said I wasn't hungry, so that makes one less serving. What's four minus one, moron?"

John snorted, and returned the Legend Killer's glare with just as much ferocity and intensity in his own narrowed blue eyes. "Don't try to act smart! You're just being cheap again! The minute Junie finishes making that curry, you're gonna get hungry, and then we'll have to thin the pot down to have enough for you! It's obvious that you can't resist Junie's cooking. During every meal she makes, your tongue comes hanging out like Hardy's stupid dog—"

"Shut that mouth of yours, or I'll _wire _it shut for you!"

"You know what?" June said suddenly, slipping in between the two furious men before she grabbed Randy's arm and pulled him away from John. "I think _I'll _go and buy the meat. It won't take long, so just watch the curry pot, make sure it doesn't burn, and put Jamie to bed soon, okay guys?" Making sure that Randy and John were at least fifteen feet away from one another, she placed a now irritated Jamie into Jeff's arms as she grabbed her purse.

"What?" Randy snapped out of his anger-induced haze, and stared at the young mother in surprise. "But…but I said I'd go, Junie…"

"I can get it. Um, just…just don't fight, guys…" With one last, pleading look at the men, June slipped soundlessly out of the door, leaving John, Jeff, and Randy behind to hold and care for a very fussy, very moody little baby.

"…"

"…"

"Damn it, Orton!" John yelled, slapping the Legend Killer hard upside the head (which immediately resulted in Randy trying his best not to murder the young detective right then and there). "Why the fuck do you have to be so cheap on a day like this? Making Junie go out to the market when it's Jamie's birthday and all…"

"Goddamn cheapskate," Jeff muttered in agreement, juggling a gurgling Jamie in his arms as she reached up and tried to whack him over the head with her saliva-covered, chocolate lollipop. "You're completely thoughtless…"

"Get off my back!" Randy snapped. "Do you guys even know what I had to sacrifice in order to come to the brat's birthday party today? Do you realize how many excuses I'll have to come up with to get Hunter and Sam to even talk to me again? Besides, I didn't tell Junie to leave! I even offered to go out for her!"

"All the while being your cheap, usual self," the rainbow-haired artist added dryly.

"Excuse me?" The Legend Killer gritted his teeth, his fingers twitching slightly as if he was resisting the urge to wrap them around Jeff's throat. "What did you just say? I can't believe this…Hardy, I thought you had at least _one _more brain cell than Cena."

"HEY!" John yelled, very much insulted.

"And because you're so much smarter," Randy went on, ignoring the increasingly furious John as he continued to address the ever calm and collected Jeff, "I find it hard to believe that you're actually trying to take shots at me. Have you forgotten about my anger management issues? I could punt you in the fucking skull right here and now, and I'd never once lose a lick of sleep over it!"

"…"

"…"

"…is that all?" Jeff asked, his tone bored and uninterested. "Seriously, Randy, your speeches and monologues are starting to put me into a coma. I'd rather listen to my old 'friend' CM Punk rant about his high-and-mightiness if I ever want to go to sleep."

"WHY YOU SON-OF-A—"

"Aw, what's this, Jamie?" Not paying the least bit of attention towards the now livid Randy, Jeff instead focused on Jamie as the tiny infant tried to push her chocolate lollipop into his hand. "Baby girl, is this for me? Are ya trying to give this to me?"

"Gaaaa!" Jamie replied, nodding her head and grinning. _I want you to have it, Daddy Jeff! I don't want it anymore…I want cake again! More cake and ice cream, please!_

"What's that?" John asked curiously, pushing past the red-faced Randy as he stared at the saliva coated candy in Jeff's hand. "Hey, this is the lollipop my dad gave her! Why the hell is she giving it to _you_, Hardy?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's because Jamie likes _me _the best, that's why!" Cuddling Jamie in his arms, Jeff bent down and gave her a lip-smacking kiss on the forehead, earning a loud, happy giggle from the little baby. "Yes, you love me the best, don't you? You know that I'm your daddy, and that's why you gave me the candy, isn't that right? Aw… "

"LIES!" John roared, ripping the tiny infant from Jeff's arms as he clutched her protectively to his chest. "How dare you lie to Jamie like that? You of all people should know that _I'm _the daddy, Hardy! Me, and no one else!"

"Excuse me?" Jeff raised a brow. "First off, Cena, that's never been fully proven. Second off, if _you're_ the daddy, then how come Jamie gave _me _the chocolate lollipop and not you, hmm?" He waved the candy mockingly in front of the young detective's face, grinning when John's face turned an interesting shade of crimson. "Sorry man, but blood is thicker than water, and Jamie clearly seems to be pulled towards me…"

"That's only because you were holding her when she got tired of that candy!" John retorted heatedly, tightening his hold on Jamie as she tried to climb over his shoulder. "Her actions were purely circumstantial! If she had been with me, I'd be the owner of that chocolate, not you!"

"Oh really? You willing to test that little theory of yours?"

"I'll test it right now, jackass! Gimme that!" Snatching the chocolate lollipop from Jeff, John placed the now confused baby in her highchair and handed the candy back to her. "Okay Jamie," John said sweetly, as the tiny infant stared at the unwanted chocolate with a nonplussed look on her face. "All you have to do is give that lolly back to daddy, okay? Give it to daddy, now…"

"No, give it to _me_," Jeff insisted, clapping his hands gently to draw Jamie's attention. "I'm your daddy, not that lunkhead Cena…"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LUNKHEAD?"

Randy shook his head as he stood on Jeff's other side. "For the love of god, don't call yourselves her daddy," he groaned loudly. "It's going to poison the brat's mind! Plus, if Junie finds out about this, she's definitely gonna get suspicious!"

"It's just a game, you dope," Jeff replied absentmindedly, still clapping loudly in front of Jamie. "Plus, Cena needs to learn to shut his trap about him being Jamie's dad, and this is the best, non-lethal method I have in mind at the moment."

A muscle twitched in John's jaw, but the young detective forced himself to remain calm as he stared pleadingly at the tiny infant. "Come on, Jamie! Give daddy the lollipop! Let's show Uncle Hardy whose boss!"

"I ain't the uncle!"

"Well, I ain't the uncle either!"

Randy sighed. "Why can't we ALL just be the uncles and drop the whole 'daddy' business…?" Oddly enough, it was noted that he still held his hands out slightly towards Jamie, as if he sort-of-kind-of wanted the little baby to give _him _the candy.

Meanwhile, Jamie nibbled the edge of the chocolate lollipop as she stared at her possible fathers in confusion. _Huh? What's wrong with them? Why are they acting so weird? Are they all sick with some brain disease, or something?_

"Come on, Jamie…give it to daddy, not to Uncle Cena!"

"No, Jamie! I'm your daddy, not that dope brain, Hardy!"

"Jamie, don't give it to either of these knuckleheads. Give it to Uncle Randy…"

_Bah! Who am I supposed to give this to? _Jamie pouted in frustration, unsure of who should be the recipient of her candy. Finally, in a fit of frustration, she decided to go with the safest decision (and, coincidentally, the sweetest contender for her affections).

"Woo hoo!" Jeff's entire face lit up as the chocolate lollipop was pushed into his hands again, while John's (and surprisingly, Randy's) features fell sharply. "Looks like I'm the winner, boys! Haha…who's the daddy now, huh? Jamie knows in her little heart that I'm the one who loves and cares for her the most. Unlike you two, I treat her like a human being. That's why she gave it to me!"

"Ha!" Randy snorted aloud, his face looking somewhat sour at the sight of the chocolate in Jeff's hand. "Hardy, the brat didn't give it to you because of love or sensitivity or whatever lovey-dovey shit you're thinking of! She gave it to you because she wanted you to stop that stupid clapping! She wanted to shut you up!"

"Oh _really_? Then why were you clapping alongside me, motherfucker?"

"I—I wasn't clapping! M-my palms were itchy, and I was trying to get rid of the irritation."

"…you're such a fucking liar, Orton…"

While Jeff and Randy bickered, John only stared silently at the rainbow-haired artist, his mouth open and gaping in complete disbelief. _No way, _the young detective thought in dismay. _This…this can't be right. Jamie's __**my **__daughter! How could she do this? Why would she give it to Hardy instead of me? Does that mean that…that JEFF is the father? NO!_

"We're doing this again!" John declared loudly, almost yelling as he shoved Jeff aside while taking the center position. "Jamie only gave you the candy because you were in the middle, Hardy! Let's change seats—this time, she'll definitely give it to me!"

Jeff rolled his eyes, but didn't argue. "You just have to learn it the hard way, don't you Cena…?"

"Come on, Jamie!" John pleaded, doing his best to block out Jeff's voice. "Let's do this one more time! Give the lollipop to daddy this time, okay? Give it to daddy…"

"Give it to _Uncle _Randy," the Legend Killer growled.

"No, baby girl," Jeff cooed softly. "Daddy's right here. Give it to daddy…"

"Give it to Uncle—" Randy began, only to get cut off by John and Jeff's louder, more parental-based shouts.

"Give it to daddy, Jamie!"

"Pass it to daddy!"

"I'm your daddy, Jamie!"

"No, _I _am! Come on, give it to da—"

"JAMIE!" Randy yelled, startling John, Jeff, and Jamie so much that they each quite forgot what they were doing. "Jamie, _I'm _your daddy, alright? Forget these shitheads and their shithead words—I'm your goddamn daddy, so give me that goddamn lollipop already!"

"WHAT?" John, Jeff, and Jamie stared at the Legend Killer with wide eyes, the three of them completely flabbergasted by this turn of events. "What the—what's all _this_?" John sputtered. "You never wanted to be Jamie's daddy before! What the hell, Orton?"

"Come on, kid!" Randy went on, not staring at John as he focused intensely on the tiny, startled infant in front of him. Maybe it was jealousy he felt at how much closer Jamie (and consequentially, June) was to John and Jeff. Maybe he was going though temporary insanity over the fact that there was something in his life that he _wanted _to control, but couldn't. Maybe it was merely a sense of competitiveness, but whatever the reason, one thing was clear—_he wanted that goddamn candy_. "Give it here! Give me that lollipop, brat!"

"No!" the young detective yelped, and quickly turned to Jamie. "Sweetie, give it to me! Not him, ME!"

_Waaaaaaaaah… _Jamie whimpered softly, shrinking away from Randy and John as she dropped the lollipop and tried to cover her face with her little hands. _This is so annoying! I don't wanna do this anymore…Daddy Jeff, help! Daddy Randy and Daddy John are scaring me! Make them stop!_

Jeff, who had been carefully watching the tiny infant the entire time, sighed and waved John and Randy off. "Guys, knock it off. Jamie's getting frustrated…"

"No way!" John retorted. "We're going to keep doing this until she gives that chocolate to me!"

"You mean _me_," Randy growled, earning him a furious look from the young detective as the two men stared each other down. Jeff sighed at the sight, and shook his head.

"You two are idiots," the rainbow-haired artist commented quietly. "Don't you dumbasses get it? Jamie's getting all confused because we keep calling ourselves 'daddy' in front of her. She doesn't know how to differentiate us."

John blinked. "…differ-what?"

"Ignoring Brainless the Barbarian over here," Randy cut in, "what do you suggest, Hardy? Should we just go back to calling ourselves Jamie's uncles?"

"In front of Junie, yes. Privately, however…" Jeff tapped a finger thoughtfully against his chin, before he grinned. "Ah, I got it! How about we number each other off? I'll be Daddy Number One, Cena can be Daddy Number Two, and Orton, you can be Daddy Number Three!"

…

Silence.

…

Then, two simultaneous growls.

"Why the hell are _you_ Number One?" John asked Jeff quietly, his tone dark as he cracked his knuckles none too kindly.

"And why the hell am _I _Number Three?" Randy complained, his teeth clenched as his left eye twitched in irritation. "You'd better change that order, Hardy…"

"Alright then," Jeff replied, his voice straining in his efforts to stay calm. "I'll be Daddy Number One, _Orton _can be Daddy Number Two, and Cena, you can be Daddy Number Three—"

"You're still naming yourself as Number One, you asshole!" John yelled angrily, pointing a quivering finger just centimeters away from Jeff's nose. "And why the hell am I Number Three now? I don't wanna be Number Three!"

"FINE!" the rainbow-haired artist snapped, his patience finally reaching its end. "We'll add our own names to the mix! I'll be Daddy Jeff; Cena can be Daddy John, and so on and so forth! Are you ungrateful punks happy now?"

"Well…" Randy thought for a moment, before he shrugged. "I suppose it's better than the kid getting all confused…"

"Yeah. I'll go with it. " The young detective nodded, before he turned to Jamie with a large, dimpled grin. "You hear that, Jamie? You can call me 'Daddy John' from now on, okay?"

"And I'm Daddy Jeff," Jeff added, pinching the cooing Jamie on the cheek.

"And I guess…I'm Daddy Randy," Randy muttered, trying not to smile at the little baby when she reached out and grasped his finger with her tiny hands. "But just remember, brat…in front of that mother of yours, you'd better call me _Uncle _Randy. I don't need any shit from Junie, goddamn it…"

"GACK!" Jamie squeaked, giggling as she tightened her hold on Randy's finger. _Oh, Daddy Randy, you big jokester! You know you luuuuuve me, so why do you insist on being so grouchy all the time? …and SHEESH! I've already been calling you guys 'Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John' since the beginning! Gosh, you're so slow!_

As Randy lifted Jamie from her high chair and held the excited baby in his arms, John turned to Jeff and gave the rainbow-haired artist an uneasy look. "Um, Hardy…"

"What is it, Cena?"

"…if…if Jamie's going to call us her daddies…what is she supposed to call Todd?"

"…"

"…"

A tense, sudden silence fell over the room. John and Jeff stared morosely at the floor while Randy kept his eyes fixed solely on Jamie's happy face, for the tiny infant was completely oblivious as to what her possible fathers were talking about. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Jeff finally spoke.

"Todd is her real father," he said in a low, quiet voice. "That's what he's going to be called, now and forever."

John snorted in disbelief. "Her _real_ father? No offense man, but you know that the _real _father is one of us three."

"Shut your mouth," Randy snapped, glaring angrily at John despite the fact that Jamie was beginning to drool all over his shirt collar. "Junie believes that Todd's the father, remember? If she even gets wind about the sperm donation, well…" He bit his lip nervously. "Shit, who knows how she'll react? We might as well play it safe, so as far as we're all concerned, Todd's the real father, end of story."

"Yeah." Jeff nodded in agreement. "I'm with Orton. Todd's the real father, and that's how it's got to stay."

"…I guess you guys are right." Sulking, John whisked Jamie out of Randy's arms, smiling down at her sadly as he cradled her against his chest. "It sucks, but for Junie…for _Junie_…it's got to stay this way…"

* * *

"Let's see…I've got the pork tenderloins…maybe I should get some sweet potatoes to add some flavor to the recipe…"

June stood in front of the produce aisle, a bag of pork in one hand, contemplating her choices. After picking out several fresh green peppers and onions, she reached out for the sweet potatoes, only to squeak in surprise when her hand collided with a larger, stronger one.

"Eek! I'm so sorry; I'm not normally this unaware of my surroundings…" June quickly looked up in embarrassment, a string of apologies spewing from her lips as she waved a particular sweet potato throughout the air in a haphazard manner. "I'm really not that much of a klutz…OH!" Her eyes widened from shock as she realized exactly who she was talking to, and both the pork and the vegetables fell to the floor a second later. "Oh—oh my—Mr. Hunter!"

"Hey June," Hunter greeted, taking it upon himself to grab a different potato and grin apologetically. "Calm down, girl! Don't apologize; I should have been more careful myself, so no harm done."

"Oh. Right." The young mother laughed nervously, gathering up her fallen goods…until a strange though hit her hard. Looking up at Hunter with a confused look on her face, she bit her lip before nervously asking, "Um, Mr. Hunter…"

"Yeah?" the Cerebral Assassin replied, absentmindedly rummaging through the produce before he grinned mischievously, dug though the greens, and selected a very _long, _very _thick _cucumber. "Heh heh heh…I think Steph would definitely like this for our 'Veggie Delights' game…"

"Anyway," June went on, trying very hard not to imagine what on earth he meant by that somewhat sexual statement, "What are you doing here, sir? I would imagine that a man of your caliber wouldn't be shopping here."

"Ack!" Hunter made a face, and shook his head. "Now June, don't say that. You're making me sound like my sourpuss father-in-law. Unlike old Vincy, I still remember my roots and where I came from, and I learned that you're never too rich and powerful to go out shopping…especially if you have to buy things that are too personal to ask someone else to pick up."

June blinked. "But sweet potatoes and cucumbers aren't embarrassing or personal, sir."

"No, but extra large condoms are."

"WHAT?" the young mother yelped, her face reddening when she finally looked down at Hunter's basket…and saw a large box of Trojans staring up at her innocently. She immediately turned away and tried to will the heat away from her cheeks—how the older man could just tellher something so _personal_ in such a casual manner was something that flabbergasted her to no end. _No wonder Dr. Batista gets so annoyed with him at times!_ "Oh—oh god—I didn't see them! I—I didn't see anything! I reserve all judgements, sir!"

"Easy there! They're just condoms!" the older man said hurriedly, before he waved the box harmlessly in front of June's face. "Jesus, with the way you act, a person would think you'd never had sex before…"

June's flush deepened by ten shades. Not that it was any of his business, but it _had _been a while since she had been intimate with another man—over a year, in fact. But, maybe she had overreacted just a tad… "I'm sorry. It's…it's just that I haven't coupled with anyone since my husband died, and…well, I guess I've become a little prudish. Gosh, even the very idea of a kiss makes me giggle like a schoolgirl now…"

"Hold your horses," Hunter cut in, raising a curious brow. "Hold on one second, June…are you telling me that you and Dave haven't done anything yet?"

"Huh?" June blinked. "Done what?"

"…"

"…"

Hunter hung his head and groaned. _Damn it, Dave, I'm going to lose my bet with Shawn if you go any slower…no, June, you're just as bad! How the hell can you be so oblivious to the fact that Dave wants to pound you into the hardwood floors? Even Haley makes goo-goo eyes at him, and she already has a goddamn boyfriend!_ "As much as I'd like to explain all this to you, I should probably just let Dave explain. He'll probably come after me with my own sledgehammer if I opened my mouth…"

"Dr. Batista wouldn't do that!" June gasped. "You two are friends, aren't you?"

"I'd like to think we are, but every since I broke one of his rare E.T. lunchboxes, he's been keeping me at arm's distance." Hunter sniffed loudly and wiped away a fake tear. "He's so cruel to me at times…he won't let me _breathe _in the direction of his new South Park lunchbox now. He won't even tell me who gave it to him, the bastard."

"You poor thing." Privately, June breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank god, especially since **I'm **the one who gave it to him for his birthday…_

"But anyway," Hunter went on, his fake tears immediately drying up as he gave June a smile. "I'm going to be perfectly, one-hundred-percent honest with you, June. I'm actually not here at the market to shop…although we actually did need some sweet potatoes and this cucumber…"

"O-oh?" She couldn't quite explain it, but Hunter's voice had suddenly _changed. _It wasn't malicious or threatening, but still, his very tone caused the young mother to feel a strange, unpleasant chill slowly creep up her spine, and she found herself backing away ever so slightly. "I—I see…"

"I was actually hoping to run into _you_," he went on, taking a step forward for every step June took back. "I even had an old associate of mine tail you to get your daily schedule. I knew that sooner or later, you'd come to this supermarket…and then I could talk to you."

"Y-you were following me?" June's jaw dropped in absolute shock and disbelief. She froze when she felt her back hit a wall, and she tried to shrink away as Hunter finally cornered her amongst the cans of beans and tomatoes. "W-why would you do something like that? That's borderline illegal!"

"Actually, it _is _illegal. But as I said before—" Hunter grinned wickedly "—I wanted to talk to you."

"Then talk! Say what you need to say, sir, because you're making me very uncomfortable!"

The Cerebral Assassin laughed at the sight of the young mother cowering before him. God, she was nothing at all like Stephanie and Haley; she had none of their invisible steel personalities and seemed like a frightened little girl when cornered. For the life of him, he just could not understand why the Animal was so enthralled with her, or why the entire hospital seemed to love her. _Dave should probably just fuck her and get her out of his system as soon as possible…_ "Listen, June. I don't go for women like you, so get whatever dirty thoughts you have out of your soft little head and listen very carefully to what I have to say, okay?"

June didn't reply; she only shrank further into her corner.

"Right now, I'm in a very delicate business conflict, one that involves Vickie Guerrero and that asshole lover of hers. If all goes according to plan, both of them will be out of that hospital and out onto the streets, and the McMahon-Levesque corporations will have another nice chunk of the business world to devour."

"W-what…?" June gave him a startled look. "Why would you…why would you do that to Miss Vickie?"

"The only problem is," Hunter went on, ignoring June's horrified expression, "that in order to kick Vickie out of power, I need a majority of her company shares. Now there is one person—well, there are actually two people, but the second person's a dick and I am NOT going to him for help—anyway, there is _one _person who can help me get enough shares to carry out my plan…and he just so happens to be your favorite patient…"

"…" June blinked, unsure of who Hunter was talking about…until an image of a blonde, handsome, but obnoxiously loud Canadian rock star flashed though her mind. The same blonde, obnoxious Canadian rock star who always boasted about having incredibly large shares in Vickie's company… "W-wait a second! You don't mean Mr. Jericho, do you?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, she _can _be taught! Bravo!" The older man laughed and clapped dramatically. "Yes, June…I'm talking about Mr. Jericho. He's the one with the shares I need…and _you're _the one who's going to convince him to give his proxies to _me_. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"NO!" June cried out, her entire body shaking with fear and dismay. "I'm not some pawn you can use for your own amusement! Mr. Jericho already made it clear to Mr. Copeland that he wasn't interested in selling his stocks! What on earth makes you think that I can suddenly change his mind when Edge failed so miserably?"

"Do you really want to know?" There was a devilish gleam in the Cerebral Assassin's eyes, one that made June regret even opening her mouth. "Well, since you asked so _nicely, _I'll give it to you straight. He actually _likes _you, June. You're his number one supporter, his constant enabler, and the only real friend he's got in that entire hospital…hell, maybe in his entire _life_."

June turned ten different shades of red, blushing so fiercely that her cheeks nearly gave off heat. "That's not true!" she protested, leaning back as she shook her head fiercely. "His wife loves him, and Haley likes him too!"

Hunter snorted. "Jericho's wife hasn't visited him in days, and Haley has her limits, you know. Besides, who's the first person Chris starts hollering for whenever he's in trouble, hmm?"

"…"

"I rest my case."

"No!" June bit her lip, refusing to look Hunter in the eye. "Even if you're right about Chris's attitude towards me, I still won't do this! This would—this would destroy Miss Vickie!"

"That _was _the general gist of my plan, you know," Hunter remarked flatly.

"I won't be a part of this!" June retorted heatedly. "I admit that she's a bit blinded by her insane love for Adam Copeland, but she's still a good woman inside! I won't have a hand in ruining her! Do what you will, Mr. Hunter, but leave me out of it!" With that, she turned to leave, only to yelp when she felt a strong hand painfully grab her thin, frail arm. "H-hey! Let go of me!"

"No." Hunter leaned in until he was about an inch away from June's face, his eyes narrowed dangerously. "You listen here, June. I invested a lot of time and energy into this takeover, and I won't have it torn apart just because you happen to have a conscience. There is _a lot_ at stake, you hear me? Everyone involved so far has something to lose, and trust me, the losses for either side aren't pretty. If you think for even a second that you won't be affected, think again. Either Edge will come after you and hound you to your grave…or _I _will. And considering the fact that you're a single, widowed mom, that's not something you'd want in your life…"

June froze, her heart sinking painfully in her chest. "No…you're lying. Dr. Batista won't—"

"—won't let me?" Hunter finished, his voice sarcastic and mocking. "HA! Please, June. Dave's one of my partners in this little scheme, as is Rey and Big Show. They have just as much to lose as I do, and if they find out that you had the power to tip things in their favor…and you didn't use it…" The older man laughed cruelly. "Well, Dave isn't going to see you in such a good light anymore, is he? Especially considering that if the takeover fails, he'll more than likely lose his job."

"What?" June looked up at Hunter in alarm. "Lose his job? NO!"

Hunter grimaced. "And now you know how severe the situation is. What will you do, June?"

"…"

"Well, whatever you decide…you've got until the day after the Charity Poker tournament. If you do somehow manage to get to Jericho, one of my associates will be waiting in the BioMed conference room. No one's ever there, anyway, so there should be plenty of privacy." Smiling coldly, Hunter patted the motionless young mother on the shoulder. It was a meaningless gesture, though—there was no genuine warmth behind his actions. "Don't let me down, _mom_…it's a dangerous game we're playing, don't you forget…"

Without another word, the Cerebral Assassin spun on his heel as he left with his basket of groceries, whistling merrily all the way towards the cash register. June, on the other hand, slid silently to the floor, trembling in fear as she tried to register what had just happened.

_I...I don't understand...this can't be real. I'm dreaming...it's all a bad dream..._

But she knew it wasn't a dream, and she knew that this was only going to get worse before it got better. Taking shares, ruining the lives of other people—this all sounded like something _Randy_ would do. She was a weak, softhearted woman who had no stomach for things like this, and she could already feel the bitter bile building in the back of her throat as her trembling increased violently.

And the worst part of it all was that Dave was involved. Dave, the one man whom she thought was immovable in his beliefs. The one man whom she adored above all else (with the obvious exception of Jamie and Todd, of course) was participating in this vile takeover, along with Rey Mysterio, whom she viewed as an older-brother figure.

She was only dimly aware of hearing a gasp from a woman standing next to her quivering form, a woman who was bending down and trying to shake her back to consciousness. "Oh my stars!" cried the woman. "Are you alright, girl?"

_No, I'm not alright. _June forced a smile on her face as she slowly picked herself off the floor. "I'm fine," she said weakly. "I was just sitting. My legs are a bit sore, you see." And this was partially true. After Hunter's thinly-veiled threats, her legs were painfully swollen from all the stress she had underwent. She wondered how she was ever going to get the strength to walk home…

"Okay. But you sure you don't need any help?"

"No, thank you. I'll be fine." With that, June slowly limped her way towards the front of the store, sighing in relief when Hunter was thankfully nowhere to be seen.

_Oh dear god...I can't believe all of Mr. Jericho's conspiracy theories were true. How can I ever look at Dr. Batista and Dr. Mysterio the same way again? How am I supposed to face them, knowing what they're planning to do to Miss Vickie? What am I supposed to do? God help me, what am I supposed to do?_

* * *

**A/N: This was one of those chapters where it took me forever and a day to write, and then in the end I just groaned and said, "SCREW THIS, IT'S BEEN LONG ENOUGH, I'M PUTTING THIS UP. :| " Bear with me when I say this is one of those…character development chapters. Sort of. Kind of. **

**Plus, it kind of realistically meshes the "Good Guy/Bad Guy" roles, which is sadly a part of life.**

**I'd like to thank **_**Westfan**_**, **_**shestheash**_**, **_**slashdlite**_**, **_**veracruzortangal**_**, **_**RKOsgirl92I'mxAxRockstar**_**, **_**dx-nodoubt-dx**_**, **_**Lady IkoYume**_**, and **_**althea293**_** for the kickass reviews. Happy happy joy joy to all of you!**

**Current poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 20 votes (I understand why people like the whole hate/love thing, but...I dunno...) **

**John Cena: 9 votes (Well, I'd personally pick him for his sweetness and dimples. Or Dave for his sheer hotness. :P)**

**Jeff Hardy: 9 votes (Oh Jeff... T-T)**

**Dave Batista: 2 votes (If I were Junie, I'd jump him, kidnap him, and keep him all to myself...and maybe share him with you too, Kasey. :3)**

**Have Them All: 10 votes (How on earth did this reach second place?)**


	31. Failure to Overcome a Fear

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-One: Failure to Overcome a Fear**

_You know what's weird? Phobias._

_According to the dictionary, a phobia is supposed to be an irrational, intense and persistent fear of a specific object or situation. I don't know what that means exactly, but I know that Mister Rey-Rey is afraid of heights, and that Mister Jericho is afraid of people messing with his sparkles or his cool hair. I know I used to be afraid of the dark when I was a little baby. I used to cry every night when I was supposed to be going to sleep, because I was afraid of the monsters under my bed! I could hear them drooling and waiting for me to step out of bed so they could gobble me up…_

_Actually, they're __**still**__ waiting for me to make a mistake, even to this day. But I'm not a baby—I'm three years old now. I'm practically an adult! I'm much smarter than any stupid bed monster, so HA!_

…

_Mommy, you put my nightlight in the corner, right? Oh, good…just checking._

_Daddy Jeff told me that as I get older, the dark will just stop being scary. That I'll grow out of it. But I know that some people aren't that lucky, though. You know that saying, the one about old dogs and new tricks? Some people just can't find a way to overcome their fears. Some people hide under their blankets if they're afraid of lightning, and I hear that Mister Jericho carries around a can of pepper spray to keep people from touching his hair. _

_And in really, really bad cases...some people even become physically sick, because they don't know how to deal with their problem. _

_In any case, they have to find a way to cope until the morning light comes and shows them the way. They have to find a way to deal with their problems, even though they're afraid and alone._

_And my nightlight has nothing to do with me being afraid of the dark, you poop heads! I'm NOT afraid! I…I just happen to like nightlights, that's all._

_Humph._

* * *

She felt far too _hot_.

Attempting to ignore the rising, bitter bile in the back of her throat, June groaned and shoved the blankets off of her overheated body. Normally in April, the weather was supposed to be cool and pleasant, with the scent of budding leaves and newly grown plants signifying the delicate transition of the seasons—the shift between spring to summer.

But that wasn't the case for the young mother. The air felt uncomfortably warm against June's face, and her hair was like a thick, sweaty blanket draped across her forehead and the back of her neck. June moaned and buried her head into her pillow…she felt so hot that she was sure if a person placed a hand on her forehead, they would pull it back in a hurry, screaming that she had a temperature of one hundred-and-five.

This wasn't true, in her opinion. June was fairly sure that she only had a temperature of one hundred-and-_two_, a number that was only borderline lethal, and she made sure to stress the importance of this fact to a certain, overly worried young detective who insisted on hovering over her like a busy, buzzing little bee.

"_Borderline _lethal?" John shrieked angrily, his face red from both frustration and outright fury. "Junie, the bottom line is that you have a temperature that's over one hundred, not to mention the fact that you keep shaking and shivering like you have hypothermia! How the hell can you look me in the eye and say that you feel FINE?"

June lifted her flushed, fevered face towards the young detective and groaned softly. "John, do we have to do this now? I don't have the wind for this. I just threw up on Jamie's comforter, for crying out loud…"

"Ewww. Now listen," John said, trying very hard not to notice the vomit-covered baby blanket on the floor. "I'm just worried about you, okay?"

"John, don't," June protested weakly. "I just feel a little under the weather today, that's all."

"Oh really?" John stared quietly at the young mother for a moment, before he sighed and rested a hand on her hot, sweaty forehead. "Listen, Junie. I know you said that everything's dandy and whatnot…but you sure aren't acting like it."

"W-what are you talking about? I'm perfectly fine!"

"You don't _look _fine," John countered gently. "Frankly, you look like you're gonna keel over any second now. I don't know what sort of crazy flu or bug you caught last night, but maybe you really should go see a doctor. I mean, you work at a hospital and all…see some medics and tell them what's wrong. Hell, I'll even call one of them right now and tell them to come _here_, how about that?"

"W-what?" The young mother looked up at the young detective in alarm, her entire body trembling as fear suddenly flashed across her eyes_._ "John, please! It's just a small cold! A day or two of bed rest, and I'll be alright—" The young mother then began to cough so much that she ended up spitting up thick, yellowy phlegm into a nearby tissue.

"Oh god!" Completely panicking, John backed away, rushing out of the room at top speed…only to run back in a second later, his arms full of damp cloths and cough medicine. "Don't die, Junie! I'll take care of you, so please don't DIE!"

* * *

"What the hell?" Looking up from the pot of steaming chicken soup, Jeff's eyes widened as he stared in the direction of June's room, unsure of whether or not to take the insane screaming seriously or dismiss it as just another one of the young detective's obsessive, worry-filled rants over June. "Hey, Cena! What's going on in there, man?"

"Just hurry up and bring in that soup, will you?" John yelled back, sticking his head out the door as he glared at Jeff in annoyance. "Damn it, Junie's dying over here and you're moving along at a snail's pace! Don't you care about her at all?"

"Man, fuck you!"

"Guys," June called out weakly from her room, "don't fight! I'm not _dying_…"

Jeff grumbled inaudibly and turned his attention back towards making the chicken soup. _Don't lose your cool, Nero…even if Cena's acting like a retarded jackass at the moment, stay fucking calm. Keep your cool for Junie…_

Under normal circumstances, he would have ignored John's frantic, over-the-top howling. However, this time June was involved, and lately he found himself worrying over her more than a friend really should. This made him a bit edgier in any decisions regarding the young mother, and it didn't help that he was about ninety-seven percent sure that something was bothering her, something that she wasn't telling them.

Not that he had any concrete proof that something was wrong with her, of course, which was why he took three percent off the top. However, ever since she had returned from the market with the pork tenderloins, it was clear that June seemed incredibly tense and nervous, as if she was hiding something, or even running away from something. Her face had been frighteningly pale, she was trembling all over like a windblown leaf, and she had been very, _very _quiet since the previous night, almost abnormally so.

Jeff scowled as he shook in a large helping of salt. Did something happen to her when she went out? If so, why wouldn't she tell anyone? And most importantly, why was she hiding it from them? Didn't she trust them at all?

"Gaaaaaack!"

A loud, angry shriek jerked Jeff out of his thoughts, and he turned around to see a less-than-happy Jamie glaring at Randy, whose face was completely covered with spit, banana slices, and mushy oatmeal.

_Daddy Jeff, Daddy Jeff! Help! Daddy Randy is acting all noobish again! He put bananas in my oatmeal instead of strawberries! I want strawberries, not bananas! And he sucks at feeding me, too! He's holding the spoon all wrong! Daddy Jeff, help meeeeee!_

"Grrrrrr…" Randy's eye twitched as he tried not to lash out at the little baby's constant whimpering and whining. Feeding breakfast to Jamie was ordinarily John's job. Secretly, Randy would have enjoyed the chore (and the chance to show off how much better he was than John at taking care of Jamie, especially if June happened to be there), but his pleasure had been spoiled by the young mother's sudden illness.

As a result, he spooned the oatmeal with such bad grace that the tiny infant in front of him complained, screamed, and spat in his face.

"Would you knock it off, you little brat?" Randy snapped, raising a hand and wiping the mess off of his face. "Shut your mouth, or else I'll give you a smack in the mouth!"

_WHAT? _Jamie stared at her possible father with round, accusing eyes. _How—how could you SAY such a thing, Daddy Randy? That counts as child abuse, I'll have you know! I can press charges! I can __**sue **__you!_

"Orton, you insensitive jerk! Don't you talk to my Jamie like that!" Jeff shoved the Legend Killer aside and picked up the sniffling little baby from her highchair, rubbing her soothingly on the back. "There, there, baby girl…don't get upset just because Uncle Randy happens to be a dickhead with anger management problems…"

"How about I give you a first-hand experience with my dickheaded anger management issues, Hardy?" Randy snarled, the twitch in his eye increasing tenfold as he glared at a nonplussed Jamie. "I'd like to see _you _try to feed this ungrateful little monster without her spitting up all over you!"

Jeff snorted, while Jamie peeked over the rainbow-haired artist's shoulder and stuck her tongue out at Randy. "Oh, please. I'm an expert when it comes to anything involving Jamie. When I change her, she doesn't kick the baby powder over. When I dress her, she sits perfectly still until I'm done. And when I feed her, she swallows every bit of food that goes into her mouth! Hell, she even wipes herself afterwards…"

"You're lying!" Randy retorted. "She never does that with me! She kicks me when I try to change her, she bites me when I try to dress her, and she spits at me during feeing time! Why the hell is she so nice to you?"

"Because she loves me," Jeff replied as-a-matter-of-factly, kissing the cooing baby on the cheek. "Because she knows I'm there for her more than you and Cena. Kids respond to you if you treat them like…well, kids! Pampering them ain't gonna do shit, and scolding them out the ass is only gonna mess them up."

"Gaa!" Jamie squeaked. _You tell him, Daddy Jeff! You and Daddy John and Mommy always treat me right! But Daddy Randy's just a big old poopy head who likes to wear weird-looking neck braces!_

"Ugh." The Legend Killer made a face, before he sat down at the breakfast table and began to devour his own bowl of oatmeal and bananas in a particularly sour manner. Damn it all, he had been in a horrible mood ever since he got out of bed. Finding out that June was sick and bedridden, learning that John was intent on waiting on her like a lovesick puppy (not to mention growing _very _irritated when June didn't seem to mind John's attentions), and then discovering that _he _had to feed and dress the brat all by himself for the day—a brat who absolutely refused to be handled by him—was just too much for him to bear.

Out of the corner of his eye, he briefly spotted John dashing out of June's room, before grabbing yet another bottle of cold medicine and running back as if his head was on fire. Normally, if John had been tending to anyone else like this, Randy would have found the young detective's antics to be absolutely hilarious, and would have hounded him every chance he got. But since the person in question was June…he felt morbid and depressed about the entire situation.

And he _hated _feeling morbid and depressed about _anything_.

It wasn't only him, though—Jeff didn't seemed like his usual self either, even though the artist was putting on a happy front for Jamie. The two men hadn't talked much, only argued for the entire morning, and John absolutely refused to leave June's side to come and eat breakfast. (Randy was pretty sure that the hotheaded detective would have spent the entire day waiting on her, had the young mother not ordered him to leave for work.)

Other than a few snatches of conversation here and there, Randy, Jeff, and John hadn't spoken to one another for the entire morning. It was as if June's sickness had spread to the three of them as well, only the illness attacked their emotional states instead of their physical bodies.

Damn it all to hell.

Randy scowled as he pushed a banana slice around in his bowl. Just why, oh why, did that blasted woman have to go and get sick? The entire house dynamic had been ruined the moment everyone realized she was ill, and as far as he was concerned, that nauseated, uncomfortable feeling in his stomach was all _her _fault.

* * *

_"Hey, Orton?"_

_"What do you want, Hardy? Can't you see that I'm trying to eat? Go away."_

_"Look, I'm not trying to bother you or anything, but…"_

_"But **what**?"_

_"…why the hell are you wearing a neck brace? You're gonna make people think you've been in a car accident or something."_

_"…"_

_"…"_

_"Leave me alone, Hardy! Go and give Junie her goddamn chicken soup!"_

* * *

"Oh my god!"

Sam stood up in shock, not only attracting the attention of all those at her table, but also attracting the attention of all those present at the country club, which included the presence of Stephanie McMahon, Vickie Guerrero, Adam Copeland…and Paul Levesque. The eyes of all five people were glued to the very thick, very conspicuous neck brace that adorned Randy Orton's neck, a neck brace that not only looked horridly uncomfortable, but also looked unattractive to boot.

"Are you alright? Were you in an accident? You're not dying, are you?" The questions seemed to pour excessively from Sam's lips, the fear and worry clearly evident on her face as she helped Randy take a seat at her table. "Oh my goodness, how on earth did this happen?"

"Sam…don't worry about it, babe." The Legend Killer smiled, trying to pull his face up into an innocent, albeit pained expression. "I was just in a little car accident, that's all. It's nothing to worry about…"

"CAR ACCIDENT?" Sam, Stephanie, and Vickie all clasped her hands over their mouths in horror, while Edge and Hunter simply raised their brows in interest. "Am I to understand," Vickie said in a trembling voice, "that the reason you didn't come to the party yesterday was because you nearly got your neck broken in a car crash?"

"Yeah…" Randy faked a wince of discomfort as he shifted his body to the side. Pretending to be hurt was a bit trickier than he thought—he felt like he was reaching for straws when trying to play the part of a perfect accident victim. "I didn't tell you guys sooner because I didn't want to worry you." He then paused, and strained his lips into a forced smile. "Did you guys have a good time, though?"

"Y-yes, we did." Stephanie stared at the neck brace worriedly. "We were disappointed when you didn't join us, but seeing your injuries…it's perfectly understandable now."

"Are you sure you're okay, Randal?" Edge asked suddenly, his fingers tapping against the table top in a rather methodical manner. "I mean, this isn't exactly a small paper cut we're talking about. I know from experience that neck injuries aren't a walk in the park. Maybe you should admit yourself to a hospital, and have Vickie's staff of highly-trained medical doctors take a look at you."

"I agree!" Hunter piped up, looking a bit too cheerful. "Say, do you still use rectal thermometers at your hospitals, Vickie? Because if you do, I have this bottle of lube that Randy can use—"

"I'm fine!" Randy cut in loudly, trying not to seem obviously annoyed by Edge and Hunter's unwanted suggestions. "I saw my doctor, and he told me that all I need is rest, no _stress_—" he glared at Hunter and Edge as he said this "—and a couple of painkillers. I'm not dying or anything, okay?"

"Now, now, young Randal…" The edges of Edge's lips curved upwards ever so slightly at the Legend Killer's defensive reaction. "No need to get all upset. We were just making a suggestion. I mean, we're all _worried _about your health, after all…"

_Yeah, right. _"I can take care of myself, Copeland," Randy snapped, his teeth gritted and clenched. "For your information, I went to work like this, broken neck and all, and _still _managed to find some time to be with Sam."

"Oh, Randy!" The brunette sighed, before she cupped the Legend Killer's cheek with one hand. "You're so sweet and thoughtful! Now I feel ashamed…I said so many horrible things about you yesterday when you didn't show up at the party!"

"That's oka—wait, what?"

"I'd say he definitely deserves a second chance!" Vickie exclaimed, as Stephanie nodded in agreement. "I mean, he came out here just to see you, even though he had a broken neck of all things! And on top of that, he even went to work, and all without a single complaint!"

"That's completely unlike some men, who fall apart when they catch the tiniest little colds," Stephanie grumbled, poking at a less-than-pleased Hunter's shoulder. "You should take a page out of Randy's book, dear. You might learn something."

"HEY!" The Cerebral Assassin stared at his wife with a hurt look. "That's not right! I _mentored _Orton, for your information!"

"Looks like he picked up a few _new _tricks along the way, though…"

"STEPH! Whose side are you on?"

"Anyway," Sam went on, smiling at Randy as the two ignored the quarreling couple that was Stephanie and Hunter, "since you missed the party, we should have another get-together! Are you free two nights from now?"

"Two nights from now?" Randy blinked. "Um, I think so. Why?"

Sam grinned. "Well, you know about Vickie's annual Charity Poker Tournament, don't you? It's going to take place at this wonderful hotel in a few days, and so many people are going to be there…oh, you have to come!"

"Yeah, you should!" Edge agreed, his eyes shining in an odd, bright manner. "Come on, kid…meet a couple of new people, throw away a couple of hundred grand…it's all in the name of fun. I mean, I'll definitely be there, and Hunter will be there too…"

"Really?" Randy was barely able to contain his gleeful surprise for a second, but he quickly recovered his composure. "I mean, um, that's nice. But don't I need an invitation? I'm not exactly on Vickie's payroll…"

"Don't be silly!" Vickie declared. "You're a friend of the family, and one of my most trusted business associates! You don't need an invite! Although…" The older woman stared once more at Randy's neck brace. "Are you sure you'll be alright with that neck? Because if you need a check-up—"

"_No_." Randy shook his head, remembering to look pained and stiff as he did so. "I promise, I'm fine. And I'll definitely be there for that poker thing, Vickie."

"Just like how you were 'definitely there' for my party yesterday?" Hunter asked the younger man mockingly, a too sweet smile on his face. Randy turned to Hunter, and shot a sarcastic grin at the older man.

"Oh, don't you worry, _sir_. I'll be there, if only to remind you that I can still kick your sagging ass at Texas Hold'em any day of the week."

Hunter snorted aloud at this comment, and took a sip of is drink. "Kid, you obviously have never met Haley Mariano, then…"

* * *

_I shouldn't be here…_

John tapped his fingers nervously against his thigh, his mood uptight and uncomfortably anxious. This in itself was not big news, for anyone who had ever associated with the young detective would swear on a stack of bibles that in addition to being his gangster-wannabe self, John Cena was ALWAYS in an uptight, anxious mood when chasing after perps. Annoying or not, no one could deny that the man was a very, _very _dedicated and devoted detective.

But for a reason unknown to the others, John simply didn't seem himself that day, and they had no real words to describe what was wrong.

For starters, the young detective had lost the coin toss (and on his own two-headed quarter, no less), which resulted in him being forced out into the cold rain to get pizza for the rest of the stakeout team. Adding to this misfortune was the fact that John was only wearing a light jacket and was now soaked and frozen. Then there was the issue of having spent the past four hours on a stakeout watching a supposed "den of iniquity."

And then there was the ORIGINAL issue of his depression—June's sudden illness and Jamie's current attitude towards him. But no one knew this, other than John himself.

He couldn't understand it. Just how had her health deteriorated so quickly? She had seemed so healthy and happy the previous night, so much so that he was completely caught off guard when Jeff came into the kitchen and glumly told him and Randy about June's physical state. He hadn't believed it at first, but when he heard June coughing from her bedroom…

_Maybe it's stress, _he thought morosely to himself. _Junie's always gotten sick whenever she was stressed beyond belief. Her legs looked like shit this morning, so that's gotta be it…but what the hell is she so stressed about? She would've told us if something bad was bugging her…right?_

…

_RIGHT?_

"Bah!" John shook his head, trying to rid himself of his unpleasant thoughts as he opened the side door of the car, shoving the box of pizza to the person waiting inside: Mike Mizanin.

Or Miz.

Or whatever idiotic nickname the son-of-a-bitchin'-bastard preferred to be called.

"I can't believe it took you half an hour to get pizza, Cena," Miz complained, grabbing his own slice as John sat down in the driver's seat. "Look at this! The box is fucking ice-cold! I bet the cheese is all hard and unappetizing!"

"Then I guess I'll just have to eat your share, won't I?" John replied dryly, reaching out to take the pizza box back. "If you don't want it, I'll—"

"Fuck off," Miz snapped, slapping John's hand away. "I'm hungry, assfag. What did you get?"

"Pepperoni for me, Meatlovers for Austin, and Italian for you."

"WHAT? No vegetarian? I'm trying to lose weight here, dumbass!"

"What did I just say? No, there's no vegetarian! If you don't like it, don't eat it!" John then paused. "Where did Steve go, anyway?"

"Austin is in the secondary car. Said something about wanting to cover more ground in case the suspect decides to head somewhere else."

John groaned, and rolled his eyes. _Fine time to abandon me with this motherfucker, Steve. _"You know what? Just grab some of _my _pizza, and I'll walk the rest over to him."

"You can't do that," Miz growled, giving him a hard stare. "The book specifically states that there should be no contact between the primary and secondary vehicles to avoid alerting the suspects to the surveillance. Your actions could put this entire stakeout at jeopardy!"

"What stakeout?" John demanded. "We're not even sure that the suspect's gonna show up at this dump! We're not even sure that _this_ building is the one we want!" He gestured to the rundown warehouse they had been watching for the last several hours. It looked remarkably like all of the other ones around it. "We've been sitting here on our butts without even going for a reconnaissance! We should at least make sure that we're watching the right goddamn building!"

"DETECTIVE CENA!"

"Aw man, here we go."

Miz glared at him. "You listen up, Cena…"

And so the lecture began. While Miz droned on about proper procedure, mutual respect, and listed at great length all the reasons and clues and details as to why _this_ warehouse was the one to watch, John settled down to eat his pizza and tried his hardest to ignore the other man. It wasn't that Miz didn't know what he was talking about. Miz was in fact a very _good_ detective, one who had a great arrest record and several commendations, including one for bravery and devotion to duty above and beyond the call. He was also very intelligent when he chose to be and extremely self-confident, qualities that a detective ultimately needed.

John hated his guts.

In his personal opinion, Miz was an ass-kissing, by-the-book, one-hundred-percent, pure, undiluted, major league pain in the butt, who had a really bad hairstyle to boot. His one redeeming feature seemed to be that he was actually reasonably good at his job, which pissed John off most of all.

_I want Bob Holly back, damn it. Or even better—CODY. At least Cody's more fun to annoy than THIS asshole. Easier to talk to, too. Hmm…maybe I'll go home early if we wrap up this stupid stakeout. I gotta spend more time with Jamie and Junie…Junie's sick, after all, and Jamie proved yesterday that she likes that no-good Hardy more than me! Maybe I'll take the two of them out for karaoke when Junie gets better. A little rapping always makes __**me **__feel better…_

"And furthermore, you cougar-magnet…hey. HEY!" Miz glared at John, who was staring off into the distance with misty eyes. "Cena! Pay attention to me when I'm talking to you, asshole!"

"Huh?" The young detective looked up at his partner, slightly dazed. "You say something?"

"…" Miz lowered his head into his hands. "I really fucking hate you, Cena."

* * *

**_The next day..._**

June had only one decently good picture with David Bautista in it. Rey had taken it during the Christmas party, right when she had been cornered under the mistletoe by her slightly drunken employer. Somehow, the Hispanic doctor's impeccable instincts had allowed him to snap a quick shot of Dave kissing her on the cheek, while she ended up turning a glowing crimson from the intimate contact and hadn't been able to speak properly for the rest of the evening.

She kept that picture in her wallet, hidden behind the photo she still had of Todd.

Funny how everything turned out, though. June swallowed thickly as she pulled the heavy blankets over her head. Hunter's words, his demeanor, his thinly-veiled threats…it all kept replaying relentlessly in her hazy mind, and she still couldn't get a good grasp on the situation, even now…and this was her _second _sick day. The fact that Dave was part of some sick, twisted plot aimed towards Vickie Guerrero's downfall made her feel physically ill, and the knowledge that she now had to assist him and Hunter with this despicable, twisted plot was slowly torturing her to no end.

Had her entire perception of Dave been completely wrong? How could he be a part of this? And how could he have allowed Hunter to say all of those terrible things to her?

She turned over and curled up on her side. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth from thirst, and she thought her body smelled strange—not dirty, exactly, but _musty_, not at all different to how the sickest of patients smelled after they had been in a hospital for a long time. Thankfully her fever was finally gone, the coughing had ceased, and the cramps in her stomach had more or less gone away, but standing on her legs still wasn't an option, not when they were swelled to the size of overgrown watermelons.

_Now THAT'S an exaggeration if I ever heard one. _

June smiled bitterly as she reached down and felt her legs through the material of the blanket. Her body wasn't _that_ sickly and disfigured, although it did leave her questioning her appearance at times.

At any rate, she wasn't going to complain. As far as she was concerned, getting sick was the best thing that could have happened to her, because she really didn't want to face Dave and Rey. God only know what sort of convoluted things would pour out of her mouth, and the last thing she needed was to breakdown hysterically in front of the two men she admired.

Simply put, she didn't know what to say to them, or even how to act around them anymore.

The young mother sighed. She couldn't run away forever, she knew this. But she was scared. She didn't want to lie and take advantage of Chris Jericho, a man who relied on her like a child relied on his teddy bear. She didn't want to destroy Vickie's hold on her company either—despite everyone else's warnings; June actually _liked _the woman, and she found Vickie to be quite pleasant when in one of her better moods.

But she also knew that Dave and Rey had taken a huge risk in going along with Hunter's plan. If she didn't do as Hunter 'requested' (and she used that term in the loosest sense of the word) the two men would lose everything. Their jobs, their social standing, their reputations…everything.

…

…

This just wasn't fair.

"Gack!" The sudden, high-pitched squeal jerked the young mother out of her thoughts, and she looked up to see her precious little daughter waddling towards her, crawling onto the bed and onto her stomach. Despite the fact that it was somewhat difficult for her to breathe now, June didn't move her—her illness wasn't contagious anyway, and Jamie was giving her such a sweet smile that the thought of moving the baby hardly crossed June's mind at all.

"Hello there, Dr. Sweetie Pie," June whispered, running her fingers through Jamie's dark locks. "Are you here to give mommy a check up?"

_Yup! _Jamie giggled, and grasped her mother's fingers with her tiny hands. _Dr. Jamie Grisham-Orton-Hardy-Cena is ready to begin the operation! Do you have a steth-thee-scope I can use, mommy? And a ther-mommy-ter?_

"Jamie, come back here!" Jeff ran into her room, phone in hand as he gave June an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Junie, I was just on the line for a second and she got away from me—"

"It's alright." June smiled as she slowly sat up, bringing Jamie to her chest in a warm hug. "To be honest, I feel better now that you and Jamie are here. I was feeling a bit lonely." _And afraid, _she added silently, but she knew better than to mention that aloud. "Who were you talking to, love?"

"CM Punk." Jeff blinked, before he stared down at the phone in his hand. "Actually, I'm _still _talking to this motherfucker. He hasn't hung up yet—"

"_HEY!_" An insulted voice roared angrily from the cell phone. "_Who the hell do you think you're insulting, you two-bit drug addict? You take that back, or else I'll tell my employers to rethink their decision on hiring you!_"

"Stop crapping your pants, _Phillip_. I'll call you later." Jeff snapped his phone shut just as CM Punk let out a loud string of curses, none of which were age-appropriate for Jamie to hear. June's face paled at the shameless display of profanity, and she covered Jamie's ears in an attempt to filter it out. Unfortunately, CM Punk had been a bit too loud for her hand-earmuffs.

_Mommy, mommy! _Jamie squeaked in excitement. _What does a bee-itch mean? Is it a bee that's really itchy, or something? Tell meeeeee!_

"Sometimes I wonder why you talk to him," June murmured to Jeff, her hands still muffling Jamie's ears. "It's hard to believe you two are friends, with the way you insult one another."

"Well, I've got this friendship hierarchy, see?" the rainbow-haired explained, sitting next to June and plucking the giggling baby out of her arms. "My friendship with Phillip is one based completely on mutual dislike."

"Oh?"

"Everyone has at least one friend like that, you know? I mean, take Cena and Orton. They're my dependable friends. They're the ones you know will bail you out of jail, the ones who'll lecture you about staying inside the line. They're not the best friends who'll probably be sitting _next_ to you in the jail cell, because Matt and Shannon have _that _position."

"I see." June nodded. "So what about Phillip and your mutual dislike for each other? Where does that leave him?"

Jeff grinned rather wickedly, and replied, "_That_, Junie, makes him my evil friend."

"…your what?"

"He's my _evil _friend. You know, the type of person you keep around just to hate their guts? Punk has that role. I've ripped on him so many times that Matt and Shannon know my insults about him by heart."

"Oh my." June laughed nervously. "Well, I guess that explains why I never see him at the Chrismas gatherings, then…but love…" She paused. "If John and Randy are the dependable ones, and Matt and Shannon are your best friends…then where do I stand?"

Silence.

Jeff turned to her with a strange look on his face, his countenance suddenly unreadable. June blinked—the rainbow-haired artist's eyes were shimmering very oddly, and for a moment, she blanked out completely.

_Jeff, what…what's going on in that head of yours? Jeff…?_

"Do you really want to know?" Jeff whispered unexpectedly, leaning in towards June as their bodies and foreheads pressed together. Jamie was left in the corner of the bed, the tiny infant staring at the two adults with wide, fascinated eyes. "Do you really want to know what I think of you, Junie? Do you really want the honest, absolute truth?"

"Um…um…" Blood rushed into her cheeks, and she suddenly felt far too warm. Scooting away slightly (something that was made all the more difficult by the fact that Jeff had snuck his arms around her waist), she somehow managed to squeak out, "J-Jeff, um…what are you…"

"Since you asked so nicely," Jeff went on, his green eyes boring straight into her dark ones, "I'll tell you. Junie, you're not just a simple old friend to me."

"I-I'm not?"

"Nah. You're more than that." Jeff bit his lip. "You're someone I just can't let go of. You're the one that I love more than any of the others."

June paused, before she smiled weakly and gently touched Jeff's cheek. "So I guess that makes me your 'beloved' friend, right?"

"No!" The rainbow-haired artist pulled away, shaking his head wildly as June stared at him with wide eyes. "It's not like that! I…I don't know how to put this. Junie, I—"

_Ring, ring!_

"Oh!" June quickly turned away from Jeff, who looked as if he had just been shot in the stomach. "Excuse me, love, that's my phone…"

"Right." Jeff's face was completely white—if there had ever been a time where an interruption was _not_ wanted, it was now. Just what did the universe have against him? What terrible evil had he committed for his karma to be _this _bad?

"It's Miss Haley," June said quietly to herself, staring at the caller ID. Oblivious to Jeff's inner turmoil, she let out a sigh of relief. Ever since she had called in sick to work yesterday morning, Dave had been calling her cell phone every hour, on the hour. She hadn't picked up at all, though. First off, she didn't know what to say to him, and the man had a horrible ability of seeing right though her lies. If she spoke to him, he would know that she knew, and she didn't want him to know that she knew.

If that made any sense.

And second of all, she was worried that Hunter would be in the room, eavesdropping on Dave's call to her. She wouldn't put it past the man to try something like that; after all, he had admitted to having her followed before their unpleasant meeting in the supermarket. And also, Dave was Hunter's friend. Despite their arguments, they were very much _best_ friends, and it didn't help that June was completely confused as to where the large doctor actually stood in her life.

She liked him, she really did. In fact, she liked him _a lot_. But she wasn't sure if he felt the same way about her. And even if he did, she still wasn't sure if he would betray a powerful man like Hunter for a small, pathetic woman like her, and that just made everything worse.

Speaking to Dave was out of the question…but speaking to Haley would be safe, wouldn't it? After all, it wasn't as if Haley had any ties to Hunter…right?

With those thoughts in mind, June opened her phone and held it close to her ear, smiling as she greeted the woman she thought was on the other end. "Hello, Miss Haley. How are you?"

"June!"

She froze. That voice…it wasn't—

"June, please don't hang up."

Oh god.

It was Dave.

* * *

**A/N: In my opinion, Team Fortress 2 is like an old ex-boyfriend who moved away…only to suddenly call you up one day out of the blue, and he's all "Man, what we had together was great we should totally get together again." And I'm all "WTF I'm in love with someone else now and I'm perfectly happy so don't you bootycall me you PUNK." And yet somehow when he gets back in town, I end up sleeping with him anyway and it's like UGH WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN… :|**

**So yeah, that's my horribly lame excuse for why I haven't been updating. That, and I just can't seem to TYPE these days. It was painful trying to write this chapter. I knew WHAT I wanted to write, but I just couldn't write. Does that make sense? I dunno. I think I've lost my touch.**

**Anyhoo…I'd like to thank **_**Westfan**_**, **_**slashdlite**_**, **_**veracruzortangal**_**, **_**xXxAazeenxXx**_**, **_**RKOsgirl92, I'mxAxRockstar**_**, **_**Lady IkoYume**_**, **_**althea293, Pheonix-Syren, LadyLit, and Swantongirly**_** for the reviews. I apologize for the delay, guys. Please don't hurt lil' old me.**

**Current poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 21 votes **

**John Cena: 10 votes **

**Jeff Hardy: 10 votes **

**Dave Batista: 2 votes (…you know, when I was writing about how TF2 is like the old sexy ex-boyfriend whom you'd sleep with no matter what, I imagined Dave's face for some reason. Don't you judge me for liking him way more than I should. XD)**

**Live For Herself and Jamie: 1 vote (The modern woman needs not a man to survive! I like this vote from a personal standpoint, to be honest.)**

**Have Them All: 10 votes (Totally smexy, y'all. :3)**


	32. Let Me Explain, Please

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-Two: Let Me Explain, Please**

_Sometimes, my daddies make people mad. _

…

_Okay, my daddies ALWAYS __make people mad. But that's just part of who they are. _

_Sometimes, mommy tries to unwind by either dancing to really loud music, or by baking yummy, delicious treats! But before she had her legs fixed, baking was really the only thing she could do to relax. And like my daddies, it's just part of who she is._

_The thing is, mommy doesn't really enjoy __eating__ a lot of what she makes. _

"_Junie, stop fussing and eat the goddamn cupcake!"_

"_Randy, that's way too many calories. It's unnecessary weight gain!" _

"_You're underweight, woman! You are in no position to be counting calories! Besides, no one told you to make thirty-seven coconut banana cream cupcakes! Who the hell is going to eat all this?"_

"_I will!"_

"_SHUT UP, CENA!" _

…_I think it's obvious that Mommy might have baked a __**bit**__ too much back then._

_Luckily, my mommy and my daddies soon figured out a way to solve all of their problems. Whenever one of my daddies made people mad, mommy would bake and deliver tasty apology treats!_

_One time, Daddy Jeff accidentally-on-purpose broke the windows of Mr. CM Punk's house. To make it up to him, mommy made a really delicious, beautifully decorated, triple-layer carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. We never did figure out why Daddy Jeff broke Mr. Punk's windows, and mommy didn't want to talk about what happened, but after he ate the yummy carrot cake, Mr. Punk wasn't angry anymore. YAY!_

_Then there's the time Daddy John made a very loud and mean comment about Mr. Cody and Mr. Ted's "extra-curricular activities," whatever that means. Mommy had to make about a bazillion rainbow-colored cupcakes that she and Daddy John took to the whole police department. That day, there were TONS of multi-colored mouths on the police officers!_

_When Daddy Randy burst a water pipe over Dr. Bob-tee-sah's bedroom, mommy made this weird thing called a "torte" that she made Daddy Randy deliver himself. He tried to yell and scream and bully his way out of doing that, but mommy just gave him one of her really scary looks that she only ever makes when she's REALLY upset. In the end, Daddy Randy had to deliver the torte, and he didn't talk to mommy for about a week after that. Serves him right, though! Daddy Randy, you do NOT do that to Dr. Bob-tee-sah! He's my BOYFRIEND, gosh darn it, and you will treat him with respect!_

_And then, one night, my daddies did something really, really, REALLY awful to mommy. I don't know what happened, and no one wants to tell me anything about it. But whatever they did, they must have felt very bad about it, because they did something unbelievable afterwards. Eventually, the three of them actually went into the kitchen…and made apology cookies for mommy. All by themselves._

…

_I consider that their finest hour._

* * *

Dave's fingers were poised over the little numbers, his body frozen in stiff angles.

The Animal sat behind his desk as if it pained him to do so, hunched over the little cell phone in his hand as if he had gotten stuck that way. It was moments like these where he wished he had long hair like Hunter, or Shawn, or even Edge. The long tresses would have created a curtain around his head, hiding the lines under his eyes and the beads of sweat that were slowly crawling down his forehead.

_This is ridiculous, _Dave thought to himself. He was a grown man, goddamn it! Going down to June's home and talking to her in person—_that_ was what he should have done, instead of agonizing over what she might say to him over the phone like some prepubescent teenager.

Still, a part of him knew that he had no choice but to tell June what was going on. She deserved to know the whole truth, not just Hunter's perverted version of events. At the memory of his soon-to-be deceased best friend, Dave growled and tightened his grip on the phone. He had half a mind to march up to Hunter right now and tell him to _fuck off _and leave June alone, or else he'd slam his fat head straight through a table like those wrestlers did on TV.

In fact, the minute he found out what had happened between the Cerebral Assassin and the poor young mother, he actually _did_ try to slam Hunter's fat head straight through a table like those wrestlers did on TV. And he would have succeeded too, had it not been for Haley, Shawn Michaels, and the twenty bodyguards that "coincidentally" happened to be there at the time.

He should have done so many things differently, come to think of it. He could have prevented any of this from happening.

And yet, here he was.

Ignoring the fact that Rey was peeping over his shoulder like a curious little tomcat, the large doctor dialed the number on Haley's cell phone, holding it up to his ear and swallowing nervously as it began to ring.

_Ring…ring…ring…_

"Do you think the senora will pick up?" Rey whispered audibly. "I mean, she hasn't come to work for the past two days. You think she's okay?"

"I don't know," Dave replied gruffly, suddenly realizing how painfully dry his throat felt. He tried to count the number of times the phone rang, as if this simple task would keep his mind off of how horrid he was feeling. (It wasn't working.) "Damn it, as soon as I figure out a way to get past Shawn, Stephanie, Haley, and that army of fucking bodyguards, I'm going to murder Hunter in his goddamn sleep."

"Well, if you're going to murder him in his goddamn sleep, let me in on your plans, will you? I feel like giving that pendejo a broken arm or two myself_._"

"Heh. Always knew I could count on you, Rey."

_Ring…ring…ring…_

He honestly hoped that June was okay, despite the fact that she sounded terrible when she called in sick. Maybe...maybe her illness progressed to the point where she could barely pick up the phone. Maybe that was why she wouldn't call him back. There was no way she was actually trying to avoid him, right? No, that couldn't be true. Maybe she wasn't trying to avoid him at all, and he was panicking over nothing.

_Ring…ring…ri—_

The ringing stopped. A second later, a tired, soft voice floated from the other end. "_Hello, Miss Haley. How are you?_"

"June!" he said quickly, knowing he only had seconds before his window of opportunity slammed shut in his face. "June, please don't hang up. _Please_."

Silence. There were no further words of greeting, not even a gasp to show there was a person on the other end. Dave knew that the connection could be broken at any point, but the fact that June didn't immediately hang up on him gave him a bit of hope.

"I—I can explain everything," he faltered, but steeled himself. It wouldn't do to get emotional now. There was still no response on the other end. "Listen, June. I never wanted you to get caught up in any of this. I never wanted you to get hurt. I didn't know that Hunter was going to tell you about us and Vickie—I mean, I never thought he would be stupid enough go that far…I mean, I told him to stay away from you! Not that it makes a difference or anything _now_, but—but—shit, I'm bad at this."

"I'll say," Rey mumbled, causing Dave to glare in his direction.

"Anyway," the large doctor went on, trying his best to ignore the sole Hispanic member of the peanut gallery, "I just wanted to apologize for Hunter's bullheadedness. What he did wasn't right. He shouldn't have gone off on you, and…and I should have tried harder to protect you. I'm sorry, that's probably not what you want to hear right now. Anyway, what I mean to say was, I mean, my reason for calling…um…"

Dave paused, already feeling the heat rush to his cheeks. Damn it, he _was _acting like a prepubescent teenager again. He was sweating bullets, clutching desperately at the phone, all the while hoping that June would say something.

Anything.

Then, he heard a deep intake of breath, followed by a shy, timid whisper. "_Dr. Batista…_"

"Y-yes?"

"_Why…why did I see Miss Haley's phone number on my caller ID?_"

"Huh?" Dave blinked, completely thrown off by this random question, before he remembered exactly whose phone he was using. "Oh! Um, well, you see, I sort of begged Haley—I mean, I _asked _her to lend me her phone because—well, I really wanted to talk to you, and you weren't answering my calls—"

"I HEAR MRS. GRISHAM!"

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Dave yelped as he was suddenly tackled from behind by a very unhappy, very hysterical Chris Jericho. As he lay face-flat on the floor, trying to process exactly what had happened to him, Chris ripped Haley's cell phone from Dave's grasp and began to bawl loudly into the receiver, causing Rey to wince at the high-pitched, unpleasant noise. ("Where the hell are my earplugs?" the Hispanic doctor mumbled to himself.)

"Mrs. Grisham!" Chris shrieked frantically. "Where are you? You haven't been in the hospital for TWO whole days! I've been fending off the naysayers and the conspirators all by myself, and it's been really hard to do that since you're the only person who makes the effort to keep them away from me! And did you know that they're making me _share_ my room with other people now? What the hell? They're making me bunk with that assclown, Shaquille O'Neal! I have this horrible feeling that he's going to violate me in some way, because he keeps touching my hair, keeps kissing me on the forehead, and keeps calling me _Christina_—"

"JERICHO, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Dave bellowed, finally pulling himself back together as he scrambled frantically to his feet. "GIVE THAT BACK! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION!"

"What did you just call me?" Chris gasped, insulted. "Did you hear him, Mrs. Grisham? That thickheaded hypocrite boss of yours insulted me and is threatening me again! I bet he _wants _O'Neal to violate me and spoon my unconscious form in his sleep! You have to come back!"

"SHUT UP!" Dave attempted to snatch Haley's phone back, but Chris kept it annoyingly out of reach. "Damn it! June, hang on a second, would you? I seriously have to maim this idiot right now!"

"Oh, I'd like to see you try, you brainless baboon! Hey…what are you doing? Batista, get your mammoth hands off—STOP CHOKING ME! ACK!"

The phone clattered to the floor, forgotten as Dave tried vainly to throttle Chris to death. As Rey watched the scene unfold (all the while cheering for the large doctor's victory, of course), he quietly bent down and picked up the phone, making sure to keep well out of the way of the enraged beings that were Chris Jericho and David Bautista. Clearing his throat, he smiled as he let out a cheerful, "Hola, Senora! You feeling okay?"

"..._um_..." He could hear the nervousness in the young mother's voice, and he briefly imagined June biting her nails from hearing the loud, violent commotion. "_Dr. Mysterio, what's going on? Is someone fighting? Did I hear Mr. Jericho __**screaming**__ just now?_"

Rey sighed and shook his head. "Of course he's screaming, June. He's been screaming ever since he found out you weren't coming to work, and he hasn't _stopped_ screaming since."

"_Oh dear god."_

"Yeah, that was my reaction too. And also..." Rey trailed off as he turned back to Dave and Chris, snorting when he saw that the blond Canadian had somehow gotten Dave into a very uncomfortable-looking submission maneuver, despite the fact that one of Chris's arms was completely broken. ("Tap, Dave! Tap to the Walls of Jericho!") "To be honest, June, the guy's a bit of a wreck. In both the physical and mental sense."

A pause. "_I'm not sure what you mean by that_."

"Well..." The Hispanic doctor threw a glance at the two men brawling behind him, and clicked his tongue judgmentally. He couldn't help but be slightly put-out at seeing how disheveled and unkempt Chris had become over the past two days.

While the small details completely went over the heads of most of the doctors, Chris's appearance was a historical first in Rey's book. Normally the man never appeared in public if he looked anything less than immaculate. He practically threw a tantrum if even one strand of hair was out of place. However...here he was. With his blond hair uncombed. With his hospital gown only partially tied, exposing part of his finely toned buttocks. And…were those fuzzy pink slippers on his feet?

"June," Rey said finally, as Dave managed to slip out of the hold with his legs more or less intact, "it seems to me that Jericho has finally gone completely loco. On the bright side, he still has most of his good looks though, right? He might be able to coast on that for another couple of years."

June gasped from the other end. "_Dr. Mysterio! Don't say that! He's just...he's just cranky, that's all! I'll definitely come in tomorrow and straighten this whole thing out!_"

"Right." Rey grinned victoriously, noting that while she still sounded quite ill, every bit of nervousness and hesitation from June's voice had completely vanished. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Just rest and relax until then."

"_Of course. Someone has to keep Mr. Jericho in line. And please...keep Dr. Batista from killing him, will you?_"

"…"

"_Dr. Mysterio?_"

"Um, let me think about that for a minute."

"_Dr. Mysterio!_"

"Oh, alright! For you, June."

"_Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow._"

Smiling, Rey snapped Haley's phone shut and looked over at Chris and Dave, both of whom were now trying to get the other in a headlock. "Hey, Dave! Stop pouting! June said that she's gonna come in tomorrow, but only if you stop sexually harassing her! And Jericho, she wants you to stop screaming and behave like a good little boy, or else she's going to transfer departments and never, ever visit you again…ever!"

"WHAT?!" At this, both Chris and Dave stared at Rey in absolute shock, both men missing the smug grin that had appeared on the Hispanic doctor's face.

_It gets them every time._

* * *

"Honestly, I can't believe them…"

Tossing her phone to the side, June squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her temples, mumbling to herself as Jamie and Jeff stared at her worriedly. "Junie?" The rainbow-haired artist gently touched her arm, his earlier frustration evaporating at the sight of her stressed face. "What's wrong?"

"Gack?" Jamie looked up at her mother with wide, anxious eyes._ Mommy, what was that phone call about? Did someone bother you? I'll give them a Baby Swanton Bomb if they did!_

"It's nothing," June replied, her voice tired and weak as she scooped Jamie into her arms for a hug. "It's just a call from work. It looks like I'll have to come in tomorrow."

"But you're still sick!" Jeff protested. Lifting the blankets until June's legs were exposed, he gingerly touched one of the young mother's slightly swollen calves, swallowing thickly when he heard her breath hitch at the contact. "See that? You're in no condition to walk. I think you should take another day off to fully rest yourself."

"Jeff, I'm fine," June insisted softly, covering his hand with hers. "I can't keep abandoning my patients. One of them is having conniptions over my absence—I don't think he can physically last another day."

Jeff raised a brow. "Really now? Say, is this _that_ patient? You know, the one you always talk about? The one who whines, screams, and keeps having temper tantrums every time something goes wrong?"

"…"

"…"

"He doesn't have temper tantrums _every _time something goes wrong," June mumbled softly, unconsciously picking at a stray thread in her shirt.

"_Riiiiiiiiight._" Jeff raised a brow at the young mother's uncomfortable hesitation, but decided not to call her on it. "At any rate, I can't help but notice that this kid hollers for you an awful lot. Ain't there any other doctors in that hospital? At the very least, shouldn't his parents be babysitting him instead of you?"

"Parents? Um…" June paused, before she nervously looked down at Jamie and combed her fingers through her daughter's dark locks. "In my opinion, he's a bit too old for a babysitter."

"What? How old is this kid then? He sounds like he's seven-years-old. Or maybe eight."

June said nothing.

"Nine? Come on girl, nine's as far as I'll go."

_I agree with Daddy Jeff!_ Jamie looked up at her mother, her mouth set in a hard line. _Don't say he's older than nine! If he really is bigger than that, then it's just pathetic! I'm only one, and I don't throw THAT many hissy fits!_

June's finger froze mid-twirl. "Actually," she said in a low, almost ashamed voice, "he's about…he's about thirty-eight years old."

Silence.

For the next twenty seconds (which honestly felt more to June like twenty hours), no one said a word. However, the quiet stillness was absolutely deafening to the young mother, and the looks of disbelief on both Jeff and Jamie's faces were completely identical, looks that practically screamed out to June: _Are you freaking kidding me? Why are you taking care of a lunatic like that?_

"Let's—let's not talk about this anymore, alright?" June said weakly, trying her hardest not to crumble under Jeff and Jamie's fierce stares. "He's really not as terrible as you think. Patients are like that, you know? Some are quiet in their pain, but others can be quite vocal."

Jeff stared on.

Jamie pursed her lips, clearly not believing a word her mother said.

"H-hey! Come on you two, what's with those looks? …alright, I'll admit that he's a tad more vocal than the norm. Still, all he really needs is a good talking to, and he'll be fine."

"Hmph." The rainbow-haired artist frowned, but he held his tongue. For the most part. "Junie, you know how I worry about you. And you know that I get really, _really _worried whenever you have to deal with patients who have a serious case of the crazies—"

"Jeff!"

"Just saying." Jeff raised his hands in the air in a pacifying gesture, before he gave June a small smile. "Look, the point is, you're still on sick leave. So do me and Jamie a favor, and just try to relax, okay? You know it drives us up the wall to see you get all feverish."

"I guess…"

"Gack!" Jamie squealed in agreement, resting her head against her mother's bosom. _Yeah, mommy! You have to take lots of naps and hot soup and cold medicine! You have to get better! If you don't, then Daddy Randy, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy John are all going to turn into dum-dum-moopie-heads, and I don't want that!_

"Say Jeff," June said suddenly, "what were you going to tell me earlier?"

"What?"

"You were telling me something, and then we were interrupted by that phone call. So what was it? It seemed important."

_Oh shit, that's right. I was going to tell her, wasn't I? _

Jeff felt his throat constrict painfully. Just minutes ago, just a few agonizing minutes ago, he had been on the verge of revealing the true depths of his personal feelings towards June Grisham. In a fit of frustration, he had been just a hair's width away from completely changing his relationship with the kind young mother. Before that phone call had interrupted them, the world as he knew it consisted of only himself, June, and Jamie, and before that _stupid _hospital had called, it had seemed like the right moment.

But not anymore.

Jeff fidgeted nervously, his earlier courage all but gone. "Um…it's…it's nothing, Junie. Never mind. It's not anything that can't wait till later, anyhow."

"You sure?" June tilted her head curiously to the side. "I mean, I'm all ears now. You have my full attention."

"No, no, no!" Jeff shook his head, forcing himself to smile. "This isn't the right time. I promise, Junie, I'll tell you everything later. But right _now_—" he threw a quick glance at his wristwatch "—I have to go."

"Go? Where are you going?"

"To an interview, of course!" Jeff replied cheekily, giving June the biggest shit-eating grin she had ever seen in her life. "Gotta be punctual and whatnot to impress my future employers, right?"

"Wait, what?" At this, the young mother could only blink, realization slowly sinking in as a smile steadily crept past her lips. "Jeff, you…you got a new job? You got a new job? Really?"

"Not _officially, _but…" The rainbow-hair artist smirked. "Remember that annoying phone call I got from Punk earlier? Well, as much as we hate each other, at the very least, we respect each other's talents. I like his articles and he likes my drawings. In fact, the asshole likes my newest drawings so much that he convinced the editors of his magazine to let me draw mini-comics for them every week!"

"Oh my goodness!" June clasped her hands together and laughed. "That's so kind of him!"

"Yeah, but he's still my evil-bastard-asshole-enemy-friend, and don't you forget it." Jeff then plopped next to June on the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist as he pulled both her and Jamie into a tender embrace. "Thank you," he murmured, his lips brushing against her forehead with every word. "Thank you, Junie."

June felt a slight tinge of warmth in her cheeks at the strangely intimate contact, and she averted her gaze from his in embarrassment. "W-what are you thanking me for? I didn't do anything."

"Not true." Jeff tightened his hold on the young mother, growing slightly bolder with the fact that she wasn't pulling away. "If you didn't give me the courage, I'd have given up on comics. I wouldn't have made _Three Men, a Lady, and a Little Baby_, and I wouldn't have gotten this chance for an interview."

"Oh, stop it you." June scoffed and gave Jeff's sides a teasing poke. "These magazine editors are giving you this interview because they can clearly see that you have talent! Why are you giving me credit for something like that?"

_That's exactly my point! _Jamie shrieked in agitation, glaring angrily at her possible father. _Daddy Jeff, __**I'm**__ the one who gave you the source material for your comic! How DARE you not credit me? Mommy, yell at him! He's a thief! A THIEF! CALL MY LAWYER!_

"Stop fussing, Jamie," Jeff scolded, tapping the frustrated little baby lightly on the forehead. "And Junie, I'm being serious. My talent is something I would have completely thrown away if you hadn't been there to pull my head out of my ass. I really don't think I would have gotten out of that slump if you hadn't been there for me."

June sighed solemnly. "Jeff. Don't."

"No, it's the truth. If I had my way, I'd probably still be beer binging and bar hopping—"

Just then, he felt it. Something soft and warm pressed against his cheek, and his words died in the hollow of his throat as he felt June's lips press gently against the corner of his mouth. As his mind literally turned to mush, all he could do was stare stupidly as the small, dark-haired woman pulled back, giving him a gentle smile.

"Jeff," June murmured, her voice soft and quiet. "Please don't put yourself down like that. You have to be confident and strong when going to an interview, remember?"

"Uh…huh…"

"Go wash up, okay? I'm going to go get you some interview-ready clothes. Now you finally have an excuse to wear that dark green silk tie Matt got you last Christmas!" With that, June got up and left the room, carrying her nonplussed daughter along with her. "Come on, Jamie my sweet! Let's go find Uncle Jeff a nice dress shirt to go along with that tie!"

_Ewww! _Jamie blew a raspberry in disapproval. _Mommy, dress shirts and ties are LAME! Daddy Jeff should go in a tight tee-shirt and leather pants! Leather pants are shiny and squeaky! I bet he'll definitely stand out in the minds of the interviewers if he wears THAT!_

As he stared after the mother-daughter pair, Jeff sat motionlessly on the bed, still unable to sort through the whirlwind of emotions that had been left behind by the near-kiss. Then, after a full minute, he licked the corner of his lips, shutting his eyes as a subtle, whisper of a taste ghosted past his tongue, a flavor that was odd and exhilarating and undeniably _June_.

* * *

The Colón brothers were _not_ snoops.

They really weren't. In fact, general consensus showed that they were two brothers who were polite, practical, and generally got along with everyone they met. They minded their own business and interfered only when the situation called for it, all the while promoting the healthiness of daily apple consumption and the stylishness of cool alternative male hairstyles.

No, Carlito and Primo Colón were definitely _not _snoops.

But no matter how many times Primo tried to tell himself this, he just couldn't convince himself that this was the case. Hiding in the bushes and dressing up in camouflage, all in order to eavesdrop on June Grisham and Jeff Hardy's conversation, seemed an _awful _lot like snooping to him.

"Stop being a wimp!" Carlito snapped, swatting Primo on the arm when the younger of the two brothers voiced his concerns. "Just shut up and listen! We promised the entire apartment that we would solve the mystery of who Jamie's father is once and for all, and by the apple-eating gods above, we'll find out even if it kills us!"

"But bro…" Primo bit his lip, his eyes trailing back to June, Jamie, and Jeff as the rainbow-haired artist fumbled with his tie. "I don't think spying on them is a good idea. Or even a legal one. We're invading their privacy!"

"We tried _asking _them, remember?" Carlito replied briskly. "June avoided the question, and Orton pretty much threatened to rip my throat out for even bringing it up."

"Doesn't that prove he's not the father, then? So it's just down to Hardy and Cena."

"Hey, stupid! Haven't you been listening to the women in our building? They're saying that Orton's fierce denials are proof that he really is the father, and that he's trying to cover it up because he doesn't want to ruin his reputation as a lady-killing bachelor!"

Primo blinked, before he pulled his lips into a disappointed frown. "…dude, that's not cool. I feel kinda bad for June…"

Carlito shushed his little brother again, before turning his full attention to the couple who was fussing and lightly bickering a good distance away from them. June had set the baby down and was now fixing Jeff's tie for him, but Jeff continued to look more and more nervous until he suddenly reached up and grabbed hold of the young mother's hands.

"_Junie, I'm not sure about this anymore."_

"_Will you relax, you big baby?"_

"_But what if they don't like it? What if Punk's just messing with me? That sounds exactly like the sort of thing he'd do, just to screw with my head."_

"_First of all, no decent human being would do something like that. I doubt Phillip's that heinous."_

"_Psht! You don't know him very well, Junie. Stop assuming the best of assholes like him."_

"_Quiet you! It doesn't matter whether he's an asshole or not. I'm certain the editors will love your work just as much as I do! They'll be begging you for the __**privilege **__of having you on their team!"_

"What are they saying?" Primo whispered. "I can't hear them."

"Shut the fuck up, I can't hear them either!" Carlito hissed back, straining his ears in an attempt to snag bits and pieces of the conversation. "Wait, wait, hold on…I think Jeff's about to meet someone. Some…some punk…who likes assholes…and plays for the other team?"

"…"

"…"

"Dude." Primo's jaw dropped, his face a perfect picture of horror. "Dude! Jeff is—are you saying—is he—"

"It _would_ explain why he always dyes his hair in rainbow colors," Carlito mumbled to himself. "Look, we'll discuss Hardy's sexuality another time! I'm trying to listen!"

"But what are they doing?"

"Would you shut up?!"

Suddenly, the brothers fell silent as Jeff bent over and kissed the babbling baby on the forehead. Then, their breaths collectively caught in their throats as the rainbow-haired artist straightened up and took the opportunity to peck June on the cheek, resulting in the young mother blushing a bright scarlet and stammering up a storm.

"_Eeeeeek! Jeff you—you outrageous flirt! People are going to think we're an old married couple!"_

"_We might as well be! We already act like it. Maybe…we should make it official?"_

Primo let out a quiet snort, and gave Carlito a toothy grin. "Dude, he sounded really hopeful about that," he commented, only to be elbowed hard in the stomach by his older brother.

"_Go! Go to your blasted interview, you incurable Don Juan, and we'll celebrate when you get back!"_

"_So…beer and porn in my room, then?"_

"_GO!"_

"_Love you, Junie."_

Jeff blew the embarrassed young mother a kiss, which June quickly waved off before she picked up her tiny daughter and headed back into the apartment. On their part, Primo and Carlito quickly dove deeper into the bushes, neither brother daring to take a breath as Jeff walked past them. As he approached the bushes, both Primo and Carlito heard Jeff sing very softly, and they noticed a certain strut in his step that they had never seen before.

They remained silent until he disappeared around the corner. Then, when they were certain he was out of sight, Primo crawled out of the bushes, picking leaves and bits of shrubbery out of his hair in distaste.

"Well, I hope you found what you were looking for, bro," he grumbled, making a face as he flicked away a broken piece of twig. "We know who the father is now. It's Hardy. Let's just break the news to the horde of angry fangirls, and get with our lives."

Carlito glared at his younger brother, before smacking him hard upside the head.

"OW! What the hell?!" Primo yelled, clutching the back of his head in agony. "What the hell did I say to deserve that?!"

"You are so stupid!" Carlito snapped back. "Have we been listening to two completely different conversations? All I got from that little exchange was that Jeff likes June…and that's it. June hasn't shown a hint of actually liking the guy back, at least not in the way _you're _thinking."

"Hmph!" Primo scowled and crossed his arms. "Man, you are totally blind."

"Says the one with 20/200 vision!"

* * *

June shut the door behind her, feeling immensely better as she hugged Jamie tightly to her chest. "Well, Jamie my love! Now that we have reason to celebrate, let's start cooking! Can't keep lounging around in bed, after all, so as long as we're up, we might as well be productive! What should we make Uncle Jeff for his congratulatory dinner?"

"Agah!" Jamie squeaked, waving her arms in the air. _Forget dinner, mommy! If you __**really **__wanna celebrate, we should just make a mountain of vanilla ice-cream with vanilla fudge, covered in vanilla sprinkles, and topped off with a vanilla covered cherry! Let's have vanilla-flavored dessert all night long!_

Juggling her daughter in one arm, June walked towards the bookshelves and plucked out a small cookbook, expertly flipping through the pages one-handed as she scanned the recipes. "Let me see," she murmured softly. "Moussaka? No, we had that last week…I like this Asian chicken recipe, but Randy would have a fit about the chrysanthemums. Picky bastard. Why can't he be more like John? John would at least _try _it first…"

This went on for about ten more minutes, with June discarding more and more of the dishes as she considered the culinary likes and dislikes of all three men. (Randy's list of dislikes ended up eliminating more than half of the book altogether.) She had finally settled on a rather appetizing pita pizza recipe when the house phone suddenly rang, the loud, shrill sound ripping though the apartment as both mother and daughter let out a frightened start.

One thought ran through both of their minds: _Who—who on earth is calling?!_

June stared at the phone apprehensively, unsure of what to do. Dave had already contacted her, so it couldn't be him, and all of her other friends always called her on her cell if they wanted to talk to her. No one she knew ever used her house phone number, so again, who on earth was calling?

The call could have been for Randy, Jeff, or John, but the same circumstance applied to them. All of their associates contacted them on their cells too, so she couldn't imagine who was trying to call. She could ignore it, like her brain was screaming at her to do…but what if it was important? What if ignoring the call led to horrifying consequences? What if this was a life or death situation, and she absolutely, positively _had _to pick up?

With this in mind, June fought down her worry as she cautiously picked up the phone, murmuring softly into the receiver. "H-hello? Who is this?"

"_Hello_?" A voice sounded on the other end, the voice of a tired, frustrated woman. "_Hello? Is this the residence of Randal Keith Orton? Are you his wife?_"

"Um…um…!" June froze, her mind suddenly racing at a thousand miles per hour. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, _no_. She had picked up a phone call meant for Randy. She had stupidly picked up a phone call meant for Randy-fucking-Orton without bothering to check the caller ID, and now she was smack dab in the middle of something she probably had no right to be involved in.

Why? Why did she have to pick up the phone? Why didn't she just let it ring? Curse her stupid sense of curiosity!

Forcefully stilling the violent tremors that had abruptly seized her body, she cleared her throat and replied in a would-be calm voice, "Yes ma'am, this is Randy's residence. He's gone to work for the day, though. You could call him on his cell, or I could take a message if you'd like."

"_No, I can't just leave a message!_" The young mother flinched—the woman's irritation was clearly apparent at this point. "_And he's not answering his cell phone either! Look, you're his wife, right?_"

"A-actually, I'm not his—"

"_Be quiet! I am talking! Now, tell your idiot of a husband that Rosa Mendes called, and that he'd better call me back soon! We have an emergency here that __**he **__is responsible for! The other nurses and orderlies are up in arms because of his stupid short-sightedness!_"

June's jaw dropped. Now, she was never on the best of terms with Randy, but he was still one of her closest friends, and she never wanted to hear his name slandered by anyone (even if he did deserve it from time to time). "I beg your pardon?! How dare you! Randy is NOT an idiot, nor is he short-sighted! And I'm telling you, I'm not his—"

"_His father is completely acting up again!" _the woman, no, _Rosa_, went on, completely barreling through June's protests._ "He refuses to eat, and he actually __**bit**__ one of the orderlies for trying to feed him his morning oatmeal! You two better get down here __**now**__ and calm him down, or we'll throw him out permanently this time! I mean it!"_

"W-wait a second!" June cried out, her anger promptly deflating as she struggled to absorb the sudden new flood of information. "You're talking about Randy's father? But...but he's in Europe, isn't he? I mean, I wouldn't know, because I'm not Randy's—I mean, even if I was, I don't even know where you're located! How am I supposed to find you?"

For a moment, there was silence. Then, there was an aggravated sigh from the other end. "_I can't believe this. You don't even know where your father-in-law is being kept, girl?_"

"For the love of god! He's not my—"

"_We're located on the corner of Russ L. Mania Avenue and Summer Slammer Street. Just look for the big sign that says, 'Elysian Fields Retirement Home', and just ask the receptionist at the front desk to point you to Bob Orton_."

"But—but wait!" June flailed helplessly. "I don't—"

"_You have one hour! If I don't see either you or your husband here by the end of that hour, I swear I'll discharge Bob Orton on the spot! Goodbye!_" There was a loud huff, followed by an ominous CLICK!

As the dial tone rang monotonously from the earpiece, the only thing June could do was stare at the phone in shock. _Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln_, she thought in despair, slowly lowering the phone back onto its cradle. Just what had she gotten herself into this time? She couldn't even inform Randy about this, not when he wasn't even answering his cell phone.

Damn it all, what was she going to do? She couldn't just ignore this…Bob Orton would get tossed onto the streets if she did!

"Jamie…" The dark-haired woman chewed on her lower lip fretfully as she tightened her hold on her daughter. "Jamie, what should mommy do? After that whole USB disaster, I really don't want to meddle in Uncle Randy's business again, but this is his father we're talking about!"

_Huh? _The little baby looked up at her mother in curiosity. _Daddy Randy has a daddy? Why did no one tell me this? I mean, I know Grandpa John Cena Senior and Daddy Jeff told me about Grandpa Gilbert…but I didn't know I had another grandpa on top of that! Let's go visit him, mommy! He has to give me a birthday present, since he didn't even show up to my party!_

Jamie began to squeak excitedly, and June couldn't help the small smile that crept onto her face when the little baby started bouncing around in her arms. "Okay, okay, I can take a hint! Sweetie, do you want to meet Uncle Randy's daddy, and save him from being thrown out of the retirement home? …oh, I hope I'm doing the right thing…"

_Of course you're doing the right thing, mommy! Helping out another human being in their time of need is always the right thing! Now step on it, there's no time to waste! We have to go help Grandpa Bobby!_

* * *

It was a multi-stripe, modern fit, vested suit. The material was cut so that it was comfortably stretched over his large chest and mid-section, and it was designed with a traditional notch lapel. Flat-front slacks finished his outfit for a streamlined appearance, giving him a rather striking look overall.

Or what _would _have been a striking look overall, had the suit been black, grey, navy, or _any _color other than the atrocious shade of _green _it was now.

"Ewwwww." Hunter made a face as he reached up and yanked at the green tie that was adorned around his neck, causing the nearby tailors to almost go into convulsions at the way the silk was being stretched. "Stephanie must be out of her goddamn mind. It must be the baby hormones, or something. These suits are absolutely revolting, Haley."

"They are not," the young lawyer replied dryly, shifting slightly in her seat as she carelessly flipped through the latest issue of _Vogue_. "Stop being a baby. You don't look that bad."

"I don't look that bad? _I don't look that bad?!_ Woman, have you lost your mind? This outfit looks like it's been washed with baby bile!"

"You're overreacting!" Haley protested, peeking over the top of her magazine. She regretted doing so a split second later—she had to bite down on her tongue in order to fight the insane, sudden urge she had to burst out laughing. "W-we're in one of the best clothing stores in the city! They wouldn't give you a tacky outfit! I mean, your suit is…it's really…"

"Horrible?" the Cerebral Assassin interrupted, staring at the mirror in disgust. "Horrible. That's the word you're looking for, right? What color is this anyway, vomit?"

"What—no! This is an olive green, and it's very 'in.' I'm telling you, it looks…" The young lawyer had to force herself not to giggle when Hunter glared at her, but years of studying under his strict tutelage had taught her how to mask her emotions to near flawlessness. "It looks great. _Really_."

"Uh, no." Hunter shrugged out of the green jacket and immediately starting to unbutton his vest. "I'm telling you that this is an instrument of torture, inflicted on me by a wife who wants me to look like a clown."

"But you look like a _beautiful_ clown. A Cirque-Du-Soleil clown, even!"

"No…I look like a horn-honking, big-shoe-wearing clown! Shawn and Dwayne are going to have a field day tomorrow night, just watch!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Haley retorted, getting up from her seat as she batted Hunter's hands away from his vest. "Stephanie only picked this color because she wanted your outfit to match hers. There's no conspiracy involved here." Hunter only snorted, before taking out a voice recorder from the back of his slacks and pressing the button.

"Updated prognosis," he grumbled into the machine. "My poor Punkin has become slightly delusional and will believe anything Stephanie tells her. Cause of behavior? I blame Dave and that wisp of a woman he's too chicken to fuck."

"Pardon me?!" The young lawyer gaped at Hunter in shock, and then grabbed his hand and spoke into the recorder as well. "Addendum! Actually, Haley Mariano's slight delusions may have been caused by the fact that Paul Levesque has been constantly bitching about how much he hates his _very fashionable _olive green suit for the last twenty minutes—"

"HEY!" Hunter yanked the recorder away and immediately shut it off. "Stop exaggerating! It was NOT twenty minutes!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Haley apologized sarcastically, and checked her watch. "Twenty-three minutes and fifty-three seconds. Fifty-four. Fifty-five. Fifty-six…"

"Har-dee-har-har."

"Sir, it's not just the suit. You've been whining and moaning for the last two hours about how unfair it is that you're being shunned. You hate that Rey's been cursing at you in Spanish every time he passes by, and you absolutely can't stand the fact that Dave keeps trying to strangle you on sight ever since he found out you threatened June."

Hunter snorted. "I would have thought that you'd be on my side regarding Dave, seeing that strangulation counts as…you know…_attempted murder_."

"And then there's me," Haley went on, ignoring the increasingly unhappy look on her mentor's face. "I could go on for hours about my stance on this latest development. But you already know how I feel." The young lawyer crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes glinting dangerously from behind her glasses. "That's the gist of it, but I can keep going if you want."

"No, I do NOT want!" The Cerebral Assassin turned sharply towards his protégée, glowering at her in agitation. "Et tu, Haley? You're seriously siding with the Mexican Jumping Bean and my lovesick best friend, who is unfortunately thinking with the wrong head at the moment?"

"Hunter, stop being gross!" Haley snapped, slapping her mentor hard upside the head. ("OW! Woman, you are extremely fortunate that I like you, otherwise I'd give you a Pedigree right now!") "Do you have to scrutinize everything Dave does with June? I personally believe he holds genuine feelings for her!"

"Genuine?! HA!" Hunter scoffed loudly as he rubbed the aching part of his skull. "Haley, I've been best friends with Dave for years. I know him better than anyone. Trust me when I say that all he really wants from her in the end is _sex_. That's all. Just sex. The minute they finally screw one another, his interest in her will evaporate, and everything will go back to normal."

The young lawyer gaped at Hunter in astonishment, not believing what she just heard. "You can't be serious. I know you're not that cynical. Is it really so hard to believe that maybe, just _maybe, _Dave might really love June? Just like how you really love Stephanie?"

"Stephanie is different! She's beautiful, strong, intelligent, and has amazing tits to boot—"

"June is beautiful, strong, and intelligent in her own way! And it's not fair to compare breasts, Hunter. Stephanie's are worth billions. Even I can't really compete with her in that department."

"Alright, you got me there."

"What I'm trying to say," Haley continued quietly, "is that June is a very likeable person. Rey likes her, Gail and Wight both like her, Jericho absolutely _adores_ her…even Vickie thinks she's really sweet! And for the record, I happen to like her too."

"Uh-huh. Yeah…you see, that's the part I don't get. What is it about June Grisham that has half the freaking hospital eating out of the palm her hand? Just what is it about that little thing that has you, Mysterio, and Dave jumping to her defense? Please tell me, because frankly, I don't see it."

"First of all, she's not a _thing_. June is _organic_.There's nothing evil or deceitful to say about her because there's nothing evil or deceitful to _find_. She's a kind and considerate woman who's just trying to stay out of everyone's way, and you had no right dragging her into this takeover!"

"Don't you start!" Hunter countered testily. "You know as well as I do that we are running out of time! Edge could call an emergency board meeting any day now, and if he does that before we're ready—"

"I'm well aware of the consequences of failure, Hunter! It's just…" The young lawyer exhaled deeply, trying her hardest to remain composed. "I don't think June's ever been exposed to the kind of corporate games we play. Stealing shares, lying point blank to almost everyone around us…that's not her. People are drawn to her because she truly cares about them, and doesn't try to fuck them over. I don't think she's even capable of stabbing a French fry with a plastic fork! She's a single, widowed mom who's trying to hold herself together for her little girl, and now she's _frightened _because you had to go and scare her half to death!"

"For the love of…" Hunter let out a loud groan and lifted a hand to rub his aching temples. "Haley, stop it! It's bad enough that Dave and Rey are trying to kick my ass every time I go near them. I don't need a lecture from _you_ on top of it!"

"But Hunter, there are other options! We can still go to Ran—"

"Enough! I am NOT going to go to that ungrateful brat for help! June _will _get the proxies I need from Jericho, and she's going to do it even if I have to drag her every step of the way! That's _final!_"

With that, Hunter grabbed the front of his vest and ripped the entire article of clothing off, tossing it towards the horrified tailors as he snarled, "I hate this goddamn color! Get me something grey or black or blue, _anything _other than this fucking green!"

"EEK! Y-yes sir, right away, sir!" The tailors quickly scattered, tripping over one another in an attempt to get as far away from the enraged Cerebral Assassin as possible. On her part, Haley stared at him angrily, but she didn't utter another word. She said nothing and in his rage, neither did he.

It was a requited silence, one full of tension and uneasy foreboding.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I've done it again. I left you guys high and dry for two years this time. I don't know what it is about this story. I'm sorry. **

**I actually had more scenes to this update, but I realized about 25 pages in that the last three scenes destroyed the pace of the chapter, so I cut it off at 20 pages instead. The missing scenes will appear in the next chapter as a result.**

**Ahem! Current poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 27 votes (Why do I feel that if multiple votes were allowed, he'd actually be in the hundreds?)**

**John Cena: 14 votes**

**Jeff Hardy: 13 votes**

**Have Them All: 11 votes **

**Dave Batista: 4 votes **

**Todd Grisham: 1 vote (Holy crap, Todd actually got a vote. This...is an epic day.)**

**Live for Herself and Jamie: 1 vote (I actually like this option for its modernistic tendencies, but I also know that I'll get eaten alive by you guys if I ended the story this way…)**


	33. The Boy Behind the Man

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-Three: The Boy Behind the Man**

_I remember when Mommy had to go to the emergency room. _

_I think the doctors said she had some weird thing called…ap…appen-di-citus? I dunno what that is, but it really hurt my mommy a lot…she almost died! Do you know how upset I was? Mommy, you can't die! Don't you dare leave me and my daddies alone! Don't you DARE! We'll fall apart without you!_

…

…_anyway._

_None of my daddies were around to help her because mommy wanted to spend the day alone with me. Now that I think about it, she hadn't been feeling very well for a couple of days at that point, but she kept ignoring it…and, we went to the park anyway. She was pushing me on the swings when her face suddenly turned all white and pale, and she started kneeling on the ground, clutching at her stomach in pain._

_Oh god, I was so scared! I stood there panicking for three whole minutes because I didn't know what to do! I really wanted to call an ambulance, but I couldn't because I wasn't sure what the number for the hospital was. Hey, do any of you readers know what the number is for 911? _

…

_Why is the room suddenly so quiet? What did I say?_

_But in all honesty, a three-year-old calling an ambulance would have been weird anyway. Y'know. I mean, grown-ups are the ones who normally do these things. What was I supposed to say? "Um…doctor people? Can you come get my mommy? She doesn't feel so good. Just come to the park and she'll be the only mommy there kneeling face-down on the ground." _

_Nope, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do and it was late in the afternoon so mommy ended up driving to the emergency room by herself. That was the worst drive of my life! All those stupid cars! Why did they all choose to merge at that EXACT moment?! No, don't panic or anything, my mommy is only__** imploding**__, after all. JERKS!_

_When she pulled up at the entrance to the emergency room, there was no valet parking. No. Valet. Parking. DADDY RANDY WOULD HAVE THROWN A FIT! If that's not the biggest oversight in our solar system, I don't know what is! If there was ever a time when I wanted to say, "Can you park this because my mommy needs to collapse immediately," it was THEN. But no…my poor mommy had to circle around the parking lot. _

_When we finally parked, mommy and I went inside to check-in. But let me tell you, the desk ladies ask the most insulting questions ever. "What seems to be the problem?" they asked. _

…

_What seems to be the problem?! Well, it seems...it seems like everything in my mommy's insides want to be on her outsides. ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?! _

_But I'm no doctor. I can't say things like that because I'm a kid, and grown-ups hate it when you talk to them like that, even when they deserve it. _

_So they check mommy into a half-room. A half-room?! Really? You can't even give the most wonderful woman in the world her own room?! The only bit of privacy poor mommy had in the end was some stupid curtain that went down the middle of the room, with some creepy mystery patient on the other side. And he's moaning over there. The whole time, I wanted to yell, "HEY! SHUT UP! Quit moaning, my mommy's hurting too, you selfish meanie!" _

_It was kinda useless, though. The whole floor was like a haunted choir, what with all those sick people moaning and groaning all the time. Poor mommy. It must suck to work in this type of environment every day._

* * *

"What about this one?"

Edge smirked as he shifted his gaze towards Randy, who was looking at the row of outfits in absolute horror. It was the day before the Vickie's Charity Poker Tournament, and although Edge wasn't really an avid promoter of throwing his money away for a bunch of people who honestly didn't deserve it, he decided to suck it up for his wealthy, powerful fiancée.

…and, since his supposedly good friend Randy Orton happened to be shopping for a new look for the charity event as well, he decided to kill two birds with one and let the young Legend Killer tag along, if only to get into the little Viper's mind and see where he currently stood in the world of corporate politics.

Edge lifted the cheap plastic hanger off the rack and handed it to Randy, grinning when his actions were met with a sharp gag on the young man's part.

"Copeland…no. No! This is…this is a fucking Santa suit!"

"—a _sexy_ Santa suit," Edge interrupted. "And it's not completely based on Santa! It's just a plain red suit! With some white trimmings! …and a white dress shirt. Totally not Santa-based."

"You just go ahead and keep lying to yourself. It's clear that you obviously believe the bullshit that comes out of your mouth, being the self-absorbed egomaniac that you are."

"Takes one to know one, young Randal…"

"Go staple your mouth shut." Randy turned back to the rack of suits in irritation, crossly yanking the more distasteful of the choices out of the way. "My god, what is wrong with the fashion world these days? Who the hell thinks _puce _is a good color for a suit?"

"I don't know. Probably the same person who thought platform sneakers was a good choice for high-class women." The blonde Canadian chuckled, before he gave Randy a sideways glance. "Speaking of high-class women…how's your little 'relationship' with Samantha going?"

Randy tensed for the briefest of moments, but he immediately regained his composure and smoothly replied, "It's going great. Couldn't be better." Finally settling on a charcoal striped, slim fit suit from the Calvin Klein line, the Legend Killer narrowed his eyes and turned to Edge with a wary scowl. "Why do you want to know?"

"Don't act so suspicious!" Edge said quickly, raising his hands in the air in a pacifying gesture. "Can't a man simply be curious? I mean, it _has _been a year, after all, and yet your relationship seems to have plateaued."

"It has _not _plateaued."

"Of course it hasn't," Edge replied dryly, his voice becoming more and more sarcastic with every passing second. "Oh, how _could _I have missed it? The fact that you haven't done anything to elevate the relationship past the 'dating stage' for the past several months is clearly an indicator of you finally swooning Samantha off her feet! Yes, yes, I'm sure I'll be seeing engagement rings and wedding invitations any day now."

Randy said nothing.

"You _are _planning on exchanging vows of holy matrimony with her, right?"

Randy said nothing.

"What am I saying? Of _course _you are! Why else would the infamous Lady Thriller have wasted so much time with one woman, if not to marry her for her charm, good lucks, and her oodles and oodles of cash?"

Edge let out a horribly dry laugh, and the Legend Killer wanted nothing more than to punt his so-called friend in the skull by the end of his little monologue. But before he could even take a single step towards Edge, a young man suddenly burst into the clothing store, panting and sweating heavily as he quickly dashed towards the startled beings that were Randy Orton and Adam Copeland.

"M-Mr. Orton!" the young man gasped, slapping at his chest in an effort to quickly regain his wind. "It's—you have a message—oh god, my lungs are burning…!"

"Calm down and breathe, goddamn it!" Randy snapped, tossing his suit to the cashier and shoving his credit card into the frightened woman's hand. He recognized this pathetic boy; he was one of Randy's secretaries, one that was particularly known for his incurable incompetence. "Now, _calmly _tell me what you're doing here, or else I'll fire you on the spot—"

The secretary promptly turned seven shades of green at this remark. "OH GOD!"

"Ouch." Edge clicked his tongue loudly in judgment. "Don't you think that's a bit harsh, Randal?"

"Mind your own fucking business, Copeland!"

"Touchy, touchy."

"Now then," Randy went on, his eye twitching slightly as he once again addressed his shaking employee, "CALMLY! …tell me what's wrong."

"…"

"…"

"Right." The young man swallowed nervously, slipping his hand into his pocket and pulling out a slightly wrinkled note. "Um, well sir, a woman named June Grisham called the office—" at this, both Randy and Edge's eyes widened in surprise "—and she needs you to check your text messages as soon as humanly possible. She said this is not a joke, please check your text messages and your voicemails right now, because it is very important and it cannot wait under any circumstances."

"Of all the—are you shitting me? That stupid, brainless—she couldn't just tell you what she wanted like a normal person?!" Randy swore loudly as he shoved his hand into his pocket and hastily pulled out his cell phone, the muscles in his jaw tightening when he saw the number of calls and texts he had missed. Ignoring the voicemails for the moment, however, he quickly opened June's text first.

**Randy, I know you hate it when I bother you during work, but your father's in trouble. His retirement home called both your cell phone and our house phone, and they want you to come down and settle things because your father is apparently causing a lot of havoc. I'm heading over there now to try to see if I can defuse the situation, but please, come as soon as you can! They're threatening to kick him out!**

**June**

_Oh my god. _

As he read June's message, Randy's face slowly turned into a pallid shade of white, something that didn't go unnoticed by Edge. The blonde Canadian raised a curious brow, not only because the Legend Killer's mask of arrogance slipped so noticeably, but also because Randy seemed to know who June Grisham actually was. And he seemed to know her in a very, _very _familiar manner.

"I gotta go," Randy finally choked out, trying to still his trembling voice. "Something's happening at the company. I'll catch you later, man."

"Yeah, sure. See you later." Edge watched passively as the younger man grabbed both his bagged suit and his terrified secretary, practically running towards the exit in his rush. Then, long after Randy disappeared through the doors, he grinned wickedly.

_Well, would you look at that? What a spectacularly odd and interesting development! I wonder if Samantha knows about young Randal and little June? Or better yet…does Dave Batista know about those two? Hmm…_

* * *

The nursing home was located right in the middle of a downtown retirement community. A shiny brass fence sat on both sides of the driveway, and the name "Elysian Fields Retirement Home" was painted in light blue letters across the white sign in the front lawn.

There was a feeling of apprehension for June when her eyes fell upon the sign. Her mind hadn't immediately put the pieces together during the phone call (because having a clearly pissed off woman on the other end wasn't exactly the right time for logic to rear its head), but now that she was calm, she realized the severe implications of Bob Orton being in a place like this.

_I don't want to be here. Why did I come? Please, let Randy's office staff contact him quickly. Let Randy read the text message I sent him. Let him get his flat butt over here so I can go back to the apartment and pretend this never happened._

The small, dark-haired woman slowly walked up to the front door, steeling herself as she pushed Jamie's stroller past the large double doors. Once inside, her gaze immediately fell upon the young nurse behind the front desk, the nurse who was rapidly typing into her keyboard, her eyes glued to the computer screen in front of her.

Hanging just over her right breast, a silver nametag shone in the light, reading: _Layla El_.

Unsure of how to interrupt the clearly busy woman without seeming rude, June at last settled for quietly clearing her throat, making Layla finally look up at her with curious, blinking eyes.

"Hello there!" She gave June a bright grin, her voice containing a faint trace of a British accent. "I'm sorry miss, I didn't even notice you coming in."

"It's alright," June replied, giving the nurse a feeble smile. "Um, I received a phone call earlier about Mr. Bob Orton. I, err, I just thought I would—"

"Right! So you're the one Rosa said would show up!" Layla let out a loud sigh of relief, before she stood up and motioned for June to follow her. "Come on, sweetheart…his room's right this way. Oh!" The nurse stopped when her eyes fell on Jamie, who was currently trying to escape from the red stroller with little success. "And who's this little cutie pie?"

June laughed as she grabbed her squeaking daughter and lifted her into her arms. "This is my Little Miracle from Heaven," she said proudly. "Jamie, say hello."

"Gah!" The little baby waved her arms around, smiling so sweetly that Layla nearly melted at the sight.

"My heavens, she's just precious! Is she Bob's granddaughter?"

"Eh?! I—um—" The young mother immediately blushed a bright crimson, and she began to sputter profusely. "I don't—that is, I mean—"

"She's as cute as a button!" Layla went on, unaware of June's rather blatant distress. "I'm sure Bob will be thrilled to see his grandchild and daughter-in-law!"

_D-daughter-in-law?! Someone please save me…_

The blood drained from June's face, and it was all she could do not to collapse on the floor right then and there. Randy? Her and Randal Keith Orton? As a _married_ couple? Was the world going mad?! There was a better chance of Hell freezing over and the Devil dancing the Hokey-Pokey before she even_ considered_ Randy Orton as a potential romantic interest!

Honestly, just what was wrong with people these days?!

_Mommy_? Jamie blinked at her wilting mother, ignoring the funny faces that the nurse kept sending her way. _What's the matter? Your face is turning all white and pasty-looking! Are you okay? Mommy, are you getting sick again? Mommy? MOMMY!_

"Anyway, I should take you to Bob's room," Layla said finally, the corners of her lips drooping slightly when it became apparent that the little baby wasn't amused by her in the slightest. "Be careful though…he may be asleep at the moment, but he's got a terrible temper whenever someone wakes him up. The fact that he hasn't eaten in a while probably won't help…"

"What?" June yelped, staring at the nurse in absolute shock. "Are you serious? But you're trained professionals! If _you _can't get him to calm down and eat, then what chance do _I_ have?"

"Don't worry, honey!" Layla said reassuringly, gently taking the young mother by the arm as she led both June and Jamie down the hallway. "Whenever Randal comes to visit, he always manages to get Bob to relax. It seems the memories of his family members are some of the few things his blasted Alzheimer's hasn't taken away."

"A-alzheimer's?!" This was definitely news to June—not once had Randy ever mentioned that his father had Alzheimer's, or that the old man had secretly been put in a retirement home. She had been under the impression that Bob Orton was on some indefinite vacation, spending his golden years traveling the continents…but that the explanation _Randy_ had given her, and there hadn't been a reason to doubt his word at the time.

_Well, it would definitely explain why John, Jeff, and I haven't been invited to Mr. Orton's Christmas parties for the last couple of years…but why lie about it? Why hide this? Damn it Randy, even if I live a thousand lifetimes, I'll never understand you… _

Quickly pulling herself back together, June cleared her throat and asked in what she hoped was a calm voice, "How long has he been here, Nurse Layla?"

"At this point? We're reaching the three-year-mark." Layla frowned and turned to June with a raised brow. "Your husband didn't tell you this?"

"My…husband. Right." The young mother had to violently suppress the urge to shiver when an icy chill shot up her spine. "Um, we…err…we haven't been living together very long, you see. It's just a little over a year and a half at this point, and to be honest, the phone call from this morning was the first time I ever heard of this, so…" June trailed off, dismayed at the fact that she was actually going along with this.

"Oh! So you two are still relatively new to the world of marriage!" Layla laughed, completely missing the dismal expression on June's face. "Well, don't worry, sweetheart. I'm sure he meant to tell you eventually, but the arrival of your new baby must have made him put it off. Oh, she's just so _cute_!" Layla made another funny face at Jamie, who responded by blowing a raspberry at the gigling nurse.

"Um…sure. Let's go with that."

"Aha! Here we are!" The nurse stopped in front of a faded white door, turning the knob with such delicate precision that June could practically see beads of sweat form on her forehead. "We had to sedate him earlier," Layla explained, catching the look of confusion on the young mother's face. "His hysterics were more violent than usual today, and the orderlies really felt that they really had no other choice. At the same time, we don't want to wake him up to another temper tantrum…"

"Of course not." June took a slow, steady breath as she stepped into the room. Images of the Bob Orton she knew immediately flashed across her mind, images of a well-dressed, somewhat portly man whose face was always stretched in a wide grin, especially when he bit into one of the chocolate chip cookies she always baked for his birthday. The Bob Orton she knew would always invite her into his home with welcome arms, and he would always snap at his family whenever they made an offhanded remark about her humble origins.

The Bob Orton she knew was strong-willed, good-natured, and had defended her more than his own son ever did. She had a firm image of this wonderful man in her mind, one that had been set in stone for the last three years, and it took all the willpower she had to lift her head and look into the room.

She wasn't ready for the sight that awaited her on the bed.

Bob Orton was in a state of total disarray. He was lying on sheets that were rumpled and covered in food stains, and was wearing a white gown that was in a condition as poor as the sheets. His face was pale and empty, and his mouth was open slightly in a small frown, as if he was suffering from a pain he couldn't get away from. His hair, once thick and dark and lustrous, was disheveled and badly in need of a wash.

_Eeeeeeeew! _Jamie made a loud shriek of displeasure, and buried her face in the crook of June's neck. _Mommy, who is that weird old dude on the bed? He looks awful! Don't…don't tell me this is Grandpa Bobby? He looks NOTHING like Daddy Randy! Is there something wrong with him? He looks really bad, mommy! Let's give him a bath!_

"Jamie, hush…" June rubbed her distraught daughter soothingly on the back, keeping her eyes fixed on the old man before her. For a very long moment, she refused to believe it. As her stomach twisted into sickeningly painful knots, she told herself that this had to be some sort of cruel prank. This couldn't be him. This couldn't be Bob Orton. Surely the nurse made a mistake?

She looked at Layla pleadingly, her large, dark eyes practically begging for an explanation, but the young nurse only shook her head in a pitying manner. "I'm sorry," Layla whispered softly. "I guess this wasn't what you expected, but believe me when I say that this is him on a _good _day. You don't want to know how he is during a _bad _day."

"I just…I just can't believe this…" June felt her body sink onto the edge of the bed, her legs no longer able to support her weight after such a terrible shock. However, the shifting weight caused the bed to creak loudly, and the young mother's body went rigid when she heard Bob sigh and stir in his sleep.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no…" Layla backed away towards the door, her eyes widening in fear. "He's awake! Ma'am, move away from the bed!"

But June didn't move. Instead, she forced herself to look directly at the pitiful old man, silently watching as his eyelids fluttered with sleep.

_No matter what this man looks like now, _her mind whispered harshly,_ he was once the Bob Orton you knew and cared for. No, he still __**is **__the Bob Orton you knew and cared for, and you cannot abandon him. Think about Randy._

Bob Orton moaned softly and slowly opened his eyes, turning his head towards her and Layla. The old man blinked for a moment, trying to get his vision working again, before his brown irises widened in shock at seeing the dark-haired woman sitting at the foot of his bed.

"Good morning." June gave him a small, gentle smile. "How are you feeling, sir?"

"W-who are you?" he asked, his voice still groggy from his drug-induced nap. "I don't know you."

"Is…is that so?" June wanted to cry. He didn't recognize her at all. "Mr. Orton, don't you remember me? I'm very close to your son, Randy. I used to visit you all the time when I was a child."

"What? I…" Bob squinted his eyes, confusion and bewilderment lining every aspect of his face. "I don't…huh?"

"Don't you recognize your daughter-in-law?" Layla piped up, startling both June and Bob. "She came here to visit you! She even brought your granddaughter!"

"My—my what?!" His jaw hitting the floor, Bob Orton's eyes quickly fell upon the little baby in June's arms, the little baby who was trying her hardest to squirm out of her mother's ironclad grasp. "You're my daughter-in-law? When did Randy go and get himself hitched?!"

"Oh boy." Layla sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead in frustration. "His Alzheimer's must be getting worse. What a shame. I thought he was actually making progress these last couple of weeks…"

"It's not his fault," June explained hastily. "Randy never told me his father was admitted here, so he must not have told Mr. Orton that we got…_married_…either." It took every bit of strength she had not to retch at the thought of being married to Randy, but she couldn't risk getting thrown out now. Not after seeing Bob Orton like this.

On her part, Layla only tutted loudly and shook her head. "Sweetheart, let me tell you something. You and Randal might have a kid together, but if you want this marriage to work out, he's going to have to start trusting you a lot more."

The young mother could only nod weakly, too drained to even mentally protest at this point.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone. There's a buzzer by his bed—give it a quick press if you need me, okay?"

"Alright."

With that, Layla left, shutting the door quietly behind her with a soft _click_. Now alone in the room with only her daughter and Bob Orton, June once again turned back to the older man, wringing her hands together in anxiety. "Well, Mr. Orton, I suppose you have questions."

"I do." Bob winced as he struggled to sit upright, giving June a grateful smile when she rose to her feet and rushed over to help him. "Thanks, hun. Besides Layla, it's not often that a pretty young woman comes along and helps an old fussbudget like me. Say…" The older man stared hard at June, his eyes searching hers with a penetrating intensity, before his entire face suddenly lit up with an excited smile. "Well, what'dya know? I do know you!"

"You—you do?"

"Yeah! You're that girl my Randy was always following around all those years ago!" Bob let out a hearty laugh, taking June's hand and patting it. "Oh, I definitely remember you! You used to bake me cookies every year! And you made me pumpkin pie during Thanksgiving too, if I remember correctly…"

"Yes!" At this, June grinned widely. "Yes, that's right! Sir, you have no idea how happy I am that you remember me!"

"Sir, huh? Well, aren't you a polite little thing? I always did like you, you know. You always reminded me of a fresh spring Daisy. You don't mind if I call you Daisy, do you?"

"No, of course not!" The dark-haired woman blushed in pleasure, her face turning a pretty shade of pink. "I'm glad you seem to be in a better mood now, sir. When I got that phone call, I didn't know what was going on! I was so worried about you…"

"More so than my son, I see." Bob snorted, and glanced around the room with a look of disdain. "I don't see hide or hair of that cheap bastard anywhere."

"Um…well…" June coughed nervously. "He's—he's busy, you see. He's trying to take care of R.K.O. Corporation, after all. I thought I'd come down for him, because this is honestly the first I've heard about you being in a retirement home."

"So the little punk doesn't even talk about me?!" the old man cried, clearly hurt and shocked by this revelation. "That ungrateful brat! I swear, when I get out of here, I'm writing him and his self-centered siblings off the will! I'll leave everything to _you_, Daisy. You and my adorable little granddaughter." Bob reached out and ran a calloused finger down the soft curve of Jamie's cheek, causing the baby to stare at him in curiosity.

"Gaaaaaaah!" _Huh! Grandpa Bobby, your finger feels all funny. It's not soft at all like mommy's! You definitely need moisturizer or something, but I'll forgive you for having scratchy fingers today. No one can be perfect like __**me**__, after all!_

"Aw, Jamie likes you already!" June giggled, pressing a kiss to the top of her daughter's head. "Say hi to Mr. Orton! Um, I mean, _Grandpa _Bob."

_What am I, some sort of wind up doll? Forget it! I already spoke to him! Not my fault if no one was paying attention! Let go of me, mommy! I wanna go play with my toys!_

Jamie began to whimper and fret loudly, causing Bob Orton to look up at June in alarm. "Oh no! What did I do? Why is the baby crying, Daisy? Did—did I scare her? Darn it all, I didn't mean to!"

"No, no, Mr. Orton! You didn't scare her!" June shook her head quickly, cradling her tiny daughter in her arms in an attempt to calm her down. "She's been so fussy today, and I don't know what's gotten into her. I don't think she's sick, but…"

"Give her here. Let me hold her for a second."

"Huh?" June blinked. "Sir, are you sure? You don't still feel a bit dizzy from the drugs, do you?"

"Feh!" Bob snorted loudly, his mouth twisting in displeasure. "The drugs? Daisy, let me tell you something. I am no lunatic. Those jackasses in the white lab coats? _They're _the real lunatics! They keep treating me like I'm some helpless invalid who can't even go to the bathroom by himself, and I _hate _it!"

"They do seem to be keeping you on a tighter leash than necessary," June replied, her voice calm and cautious. She briefly hesitated when Bob reached out for Jamie, but she eventually passed the cranky little baby over to him, not wanting to anger him further. "They shouldn't be so strict. You seem more than capable of performing basic tasks by yourself."

"Exactly! But whenever I try to tell them this, they just talk to me in some stupid baby voice, and tell me it's for my own good! BAH!" He looked down at Jamie with an angry scowl, which Jamie mirrored almost perfectly. "My own _good_?! The nerve of those punks, treating me like a child! I was off expanding my business empire when most of these damn orderlies were still shitting their diapers! My own good? HA!"

"Bah-ooooo!" Jamie yelled, flailing her little arms in agreement. _You tell them, Grandpa Bobby! They have no business telling you what to do! You were absolutely correct in biting whoever tried to feed you stuff you didn't like!_

The little baby began to bounce around excitedly in his lap, the sight of which made Bob Orton grin widely. "That's right, kid! You're with me one hundred percent on this, aren't you?"

"Gack!"

As Bob and Jamie continued to exchange their strange series of rants and shrieks, June couldn't help but laugh. Seeing a tough, grizzled old man like "Cowboy" Bob Orton actually having a serious conversation with a one-year-old infant was charmingly hilarious. At the same time, the young mother realized that despite his angry ranting, Bob Orton was gradually becoming more and more mollified the more Jamie warmed up to him (and the baby was warming up to him astonishingly quickly).

"Mr. Orton," June said at last, as Bob happily cradled a giggling Jamie in his arms, "I don't mean to be nosy, but I couldn't help but notice the tray of food by your bed."

"Is there?" The old man blinked, glancing at the covered lunch tray in bewilderment. "That's odd! When did that get there? Did Layla leave it for me when you came in?"

"I…I don't think so," June replied gently, not bothering to mention that the food had most likely been brought to his room early in the afternoon, and had probably been left there after he had bitten one of the orderlies during his refusal to eat. But she knew better than to say _that _out loud. "Still, the food is still pretty warm. We don't want it to go to waste, right? It _does _smell good…"

"It does?" Bob Orton paused uncertainly, his arms tightening around Jamie, before he bit his lip and threw another glance at the tray. "So…what's in it?"

"Let me have a look, sir." The young mother got up and carefully lifted the cover from the tray, smiling in delight at what she saw. "I think you'll like this! There's a club sandwich, some green salad, a side of cantaloupe chunks, and a glass of apple juice!" June neglected to mention that the club sandwich was made with whole wheat bread, and that the dressing for the salad looked particularly weak, but she knew that some patients (primarily the elderly and young children) wouldn't eat if they knew details like _that_. "This all looks very appetizing; don't you think so?"

The old man stared at the food which, barely an hour ago, he had absolutely refused to touch. But for reasons he couldn't understand (maybe perhaps it was the way the young mother kept staring at him with those big brown eyes), he—sort of—wanted to try it. Sort of. Kind of. It wasn't as if he was ravenously hungry or anything, but the food definitely seemed more appealing than it did before.

"…alright," he mumbled, his voice quiet and gruff. "Maybe…maybe just a bite or two."

"Or three!" June said cheekily, holding up a forkful of salad to his mouth, which he grumpily bit down on. "And don't forget your juice, Mr. Orton! The dressing seems to be a bit salty, and salty foods always make my throat feel all dry and scratchy! I'd hate for that to happen to you…"

"Gosh darn it, stop mothering me, Daisy! Can't you see I'm trying to eat?"

* * *

Carrying several bags of hot Chinese food in his arms, John kicked the door shut behind him. "Juuuuuunie!" he yelled, his voice reverberating loudly throughout the room, "Jaaaaaaamie! I'm hooooooooooome!"

…

…

Silence.

"Junie?" Peeking over the top of the bags, he looked around the apartment curiously, wondering why June wasn't coming out of her room to greet him with her usual hug (although he was also hoping to get a kiss on the cheek, if he was lucky). "Jamie? Hello? You guys here? …anyone?"

Nothing.

Sulking, John headed into the kitchen, wondering where the mother-daughter pair was and why Jeff wasn't there either. _That stupid son-of-a-bitch was supposed to take care of Junie and Jamie today, _the young detective thought in frustration._ Where the hell is he? He…he didn't take them out somewhere, did he?! Junie's still sick! I'll kill him!_

As he set the food down on the table, he noticed a white envelope sitting in the corner. Moving closer, he saw the words, "John, Please Read" written on it in neat, cursive handwriting that could only have belonged to June. Quickly picking up the envelope, he opened it at once, his hands flattening the letter before his eyes starting flying over the hastily written words.

"John," he read aloud, "we have a situation involving Randy's father…sent Randy a text, but will try to calm things down from my end…Jeff left for a job interview, have no idea when he'll get home…I myself may be home late…sorry for not cooking dinner…took Jamie with me. Love, June. Huh."

Letting the note fall from his hands, the young detective's face fell in dejection as he plopped onto one of the nearby chairs.

This just wasn't fair. First it was Hardy and now it was Orton…just how was it that June's attention kept getting drawn to every other asshole on the planet _besides _him? It was bad enough that he had to spend two whole days on what turned out to be a completely useless stakeout with the Miz. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worst when the man who originally sent them on that wild goose chase, some bigheaded fop of a prosecutor who nicknamed himself "The Rock," blamed the failed stakeout mission entirely on the police.

_Fucking asshole! Just come clean and admit that your information was BAD! Have some goddamn balls and own up to your own mistakes! …but if you have to blame someone, then blame the Miz, who is totally NOT AWESOME. Yeah, I could definitely live with only Mike getting blamed. _

Sighing, John grabbed a box of rice from one of the bags and began to dig into it irritably. After suffering nearly four hours of rants and speeches from the clearly agitated District Attorney's Office, he bolted out of the precinct the minute Steve's back was turned and practically dove into his car, not even bothering to buckle his seatbelt as he sped off into the streets.

He had broken about fifteen traffic laws on his way home, all because of his desire to finally spend some time alone with June and Jamie. He had endured Miz's preachy monologues and Dwayne Johnson's boring speeches simply because he wanted to go home after nearly two days of being on the job. He just wanted to go home, buy some food for the mother of his child, and help her get though the last of her illness.

And now that was all ruined, thanks to Randy-Fucking-Orton.

"Fucking asshole," John mumbled though a mouthful of beef and broccoli. "If Junie gets worse because she went out to take care of his shit before she was one-hundred-percent better, I'll bury that stupid motherfucker alive! You hear me, Orton?! I will bury you ALIVE!"

* * *

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit_!"

The front doors of the retirement home suddenly burst open, slamming into the adjacent walls with such force that the plaster ended up cracking a good three inches. The deafening noise startled Layla so much that the poor nurse shrieked and ducked under her desk in fright, screaming for security as the young man ran into the building with a wild, crazed look on his face.

"HEY!" Layla yelled, pulling herself back up when she finally realized who the intruder was. "Randal?! You—you uncouth, inconsiderate PUNK! Who do you think you are, storming in here like you own the place? You of all people should know that we have residents who require utmost peace and quiet, and I will _not _tolerate—"

"Where is she?!" Randy cut in harshly, frustration and worry lining every aspect of his handsome face. "Did she come through here? Is she with my father?"

"_Yes_, she's with your father, you ungrateful lout!" Layla barked back, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared angrily at the young Legend Killer. "Ooooh, I just don't understand this! How that sweet little thing ever ended up with a creep like you, I'll never know!"

"Whatever!" Randy yelled, too distracted to fully register what Layla said. Without sparing the nurse another glance, the Legend Killer bolted down the hallway, his shoes screeching against the floor as he slid to a halt in front of his father's room. He frantically grabbed the doorknob, fully intending to just go in, grab June, get out of there before she could ask him too many questions, and then rip her throat out for getting involved in his goddamn fucking business _again_—

—and then, all of a sudden, he stopped.

There was a little window built into the door, and it gave Randy a clear view into the room. Through it, he saw June sitting calmly on the edge of the bed, smiling as she spoke to his father. And his father, his normally cantankerous, ill-tempered father, was sitting cross-legged on the bed as well, laughing as he bounced a squealing Jamie on his knee.

Laughing. _Laughing_. For the first time in three years, for the first time since he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's…his father was actually _laughing_.

"—you might think it's funny, but I really was sick as a dog by that point," June said, her voice low and soothing. There was a bowl of cantaloupe on her lap, and she was quietly spearing one of the pieces with a fork she was holding. "And I was still pregnant with Jamie, so taking cold medicine wasn't really an option."

"So what did you do?" his father asked, his eyes wide. The second his mouth was open, June quickly popped the piece of food into his mouth, the fork moving in and out before either Randy or Bob Orton knew what happened. To Randy's surprise, however, his father merely chewed and swallowed the cantaloupe without so much as a single word of protest. "Don't keep me in suspense, girl! What did you do?"

"Well, _I _didn't do anything, sir. Believe it or not, _Randy _went out and brought fresh pears for me, so that I could have a delightful homemade remedy for my cold! Granted, it was actually dear John who made the remedy, but still…Randy actually went out in the freezing weather to buy the ingredients I needed, just so I could have my special tea."

"HA! And here I thought the cheap little bastard only cared about himself," his father remarked, smirking in amusement. "Glad to see his heart isn't completely made of ice and stone."

Randy growled and clenched his hands into fists. _Thanks for the vote of confidence, dad. You always did know how to make me look like a total jackass in front of other people…_

"Oh, don't say that," the young mother admonished lightly, slipping another piece of fruit into the old man's mouth. "I know he can be difficult to deal with at times, and heaven knows I wanted to throttle him more times than I can count. I mean, he's arrogant, conceited, reckless, impulsive, stubborn, hardheaded, self-centered, and tends to leap before he thinks…"

_HEY! _Randy had to bite down hard on his tongue as he backed away from the door, shocked at the feelings of hurt and distress that were ripping through his very core. _That—that ungrateful bitch! How dare she? I'm not ANY of those things! I ought to—_

"But despite his Prima Donna attitude," June went on, unaware of the fuming Legend Killer standing just outside the door, "I still consider him one of the people dearest to my heart."

Randy froze.

"I think Randy's like…like a blizzard. If you don't really know him and you're not very perceptive, all you're going to see is the snowstorm part of his personality, full of burning ice and chilling indifference. He just has this—this _coldness _about him sometimes. It just seeps into your bones and makes you feel brittle. You end up feeling like if he so much as touches you, you'll shatter."

Randy watched as the young mother suddenly shivered, shutting her eyes and lowering her head ever so slightly. June never looked more frail and vulnerable than she did now, and for a fleeting moment he wanted to just go up to her and…and…

…he wasn't really sure what he wanted to do.

"Are you okay?" his father asked worriedly. But June only shook her head and waved off his concerns.

"I'm alright! Don't worry about me. I was just thinking." The dark-haired woman laughed, although Randy could hear the uneasiness in her voice. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that…I don't focus on his iciness. I try my hardest_ not_ to. There's one thing about blizzards, you see. If you do manage to survive the initial freeze and find some sort of shelter and fire within, the sudden warmth and comfort you get as a result…it just feels _that _much more rewarding and enjoyable. All of a sudden, the earlier chill doesn't matter anymore, because the fire you worked so hard to find just chases it all away." June stared down at her lap, and although it was faint, Randy saw a tinge of pink bloom prettily in her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I must sound like some—some third-rate poet. It was stupid of me to say those things…"

"No, it wasn't." His father, who had been listening to all of this with silent, rapt attention, shook his head fiercely. "That was…that was incredibly touching. I think my chest hurts a little bit. You really think this way about my boy?"

There was no answer at first, and Randy found himself holding his breath, almost pressing his ear up against the door as he strained to hear her response.

Finally, June sighed softly, the pink hue in her cheeks darkening to a bright crimson. "…yeah. I guess…I guess I do."

His father stared at June for a moment, his eyes searching her face and body language intently. Then, the old man leaned back, chuckling deeply. "Well, who'd have thought it? My boy really hit the jackpot when he found you. He'd better not fuck this up—I doubt he'll ever find another woman who'll put up with his bullshit the same way you do."

"Mr. Orton…"

Randy had heard enough. He closed his fingers around the cold metal of the doorknob and turned, pushing the door open as he stepped quietly into the room. June and his father immediately looked up, and Jamie began to squeal in delight upon seeing him, stretching her tiny arms out as she clamored loudly for a hug from him.

_Daddy Randy, Daddy Randy! You're finally here! Grandpa Bobby is nice, but no one quite beats you and Daddy Jeff and Daddy John! Now, I demand that you hug me and shower me with affection! HUG ME AND SHOWER ME WITH AFFECTION!_

"And what's this now?" His father grinned brazenly, jiggling the squirming baby in his lap as Randy slowly stepped into the room. "If it isn't the arrogant bastard who thinks he has the right to call himself my eldest son. What brings you here? I was having a fine enough time with just my lovely daughter-in-law and my spunky granddaughter. No need to bring _you _into the mix."

"Dad…" Randy wearily shut his eyes, forcing himself to remain calm. "Dad, she's not—"

"Randy, it's okay," June whispered, causing Randy to stare at her in a mixture of shock and surprise. The young mother flushed under his intense gaze, but she held her ground. "Let him think what he wants."

"I tell ya, it's been a great day!" Bob Orton went on, poking the little baby affectionately in the cheek and laughing when she attempted to swipe at his hand. "Daisy here's been taking good care of me! Why, she spent the whole day talking to me, feeding me, massaging my hand when it got all sore and cramped…heh, it's a good thing you claimed her when you did, otherwise I'd divorce your mother and marry her myself."

"DAD!" Randy gritted his teeth. "For the love of god, her name isn't Daisy—"

"Randy, it's okay!" June said again, more forcefully this time. "Just let him say what he wants. He doesn't mean any harm."

"But…" The Legend Killer paused, unsure of what to do as he watched June feed more cantaloupe pieces to his obnoxiously cheerful father. "Dad, cut it out! You can feed yourself."

"I know, but Daisy insisted!" Bob Orton protested, chewing though a mouthful of melon. "Stop grumbling, son! You know what I think? I think you're just jealous. You're jealous because now that I've met your pretty wife, you know you'll have to share her with me."

"Dad, I'm warning you—"

"And we're all done!" June held up the bowl, which was now spotlessly clean, along with the rest of Bob's lunch tray. "You look like you enjoyed your lunch, sir!"

"Yeah, I did!" The old man laughed, licking the last of the cantaloupe juice from his lips. "I didn't realize how hungry I was until you pointed it out, Daisy."

"Well, I hope you'll continue to eat regularly from here on out," the young mother said sternly, putting the tray away as she wiped her hands with a sanitary napkin. "I don't want to hear from Nurse Layla that you've been biting more orderlies, sir. What would Jamie think if she knew her, err, _grandfather _was going around, biting people like some rabid dog?"

"But it's not my fault!" Bob whined, looking very much like a petulant four-year-old child. "They started it!"

"And you finished it," June countered gently, looking very much like the mother scolding her petulant four-year-old child. "Mr. Orton, I want you to promise me that you'll eat regularly, okay? We can't have another episode like today. You'll worry me to my grave…is that what you want?"

"No! Of course not!" His father immediately shook his head, his eyes widening in shock. Then, an embarrassed, almost bashful look overcame his features. "Say…um…Daisy…"

"Yes, sir?"

"Promise me something, okay? I mean…I know Randy gets awful busy, since he's now in charge of the family business and can't even spare one lousy hour to visit his poor, ailing father." He threw a heated look at Randy as he said this, but the Legend Killer only responded with an icy glare of his own. "But despite my inconsiderate son, I want you and the little one to come back and visit me again. Now that we're family…I want to see you a lot more. It'll definitely help the time go by, you know?"

"Dad, come on!" Randy felt physically sick. His father truly, honestly believed that June was his wife, and had become completely enamored with her in the process. If he ever found out that June and Jamie weren't actually his daughter-in-law and his granddaughter, the result would be tantamount to a mini apocalypse. "You can't just make Junie promise you things like that! She's a busy woman with a full-time job, and—"

"You're making her work, you bastard?!" Bob Orton yelled, startling the baby so much that she began to cry. "You're going to drive her to exhaustion, you little weed! And who's watching my poor Jamie during the day if the two of you are out?"

"First of all, I am NOT a weed! Second, Junie likes working, and I'm not going to stop her when she's very good at what she does and enjoys her job—" June blushed at the compliment, although she hid this by keeping her face turned low towards the ground "—and third, our friends take turns watching Jamie, so mind your own goddamned business!"

"How _dare_ you talk to me like that boy? I should come over there and wring your neck!"

"Guys, stop!" June cried out, forcefully pushing herself in between the two fuming men as she snatched the wailing Jamie into her arms. "Mr. Orton, please calm down! If it will make you feel better, then of course I'll visit you again! It's no problem at all!"

"Really?" The old man's eyes softened and he immediately calmed down, fully ignoring his son as he gave June his complete attention. "That's great! I'm so glad I have you on my side, Daisy."

"Junie!" Randy gave her a hard stare, shaking his head in an attempt to silently tell her _no_, but June only stared back with startling intensity. "…bah! Fine! We'll talk about this when we get home."

"Thank you, Randy." June let out a soft sigh of relief, and gave the Legend Killer a coy, tired smile. "Glad you see things my way, _dear_."

Randy choked aloud at the last statement, furiously blushing as he glowered at the young mother. "Don't push it, woman! I'm still not done with you yet!"

"Whatever you say, _honey_."

"JUNIE!"

"Don't let him bully you, Daisy!" Bob Orton said loudly, grinning as his son stammered and sputtered at the terms of endearment the young mother kept throwing in his direction. "You show him who's boss! And listen…I'm gonna make you and Jamie here a solemn promise. When I get all better and finally get out of this dump of a home, I'm going to treat the two of you to a night on the town. I'll take you to every fancy restaurant I know, and I'll get my granddaughter here some of the best toys a tot could ever want!"

"…right." No longer feeling quite as jovial, June looked away, trying and failing to smile as Randy stared hard at the ground. "W-when you get better. Of course, Mr. Orton. I…I'll see you soon, then…"

"Right! Come back and visit ASAP, alright?"

"Yes sir…enjoy the rest of your day…"

* * *

The ride home was _tense_.

Randy had remained ominously silent ever since they left the retirement home, and this frightened June to the point where she was practically itching for the chance to get away from him. (Perversely, her desire to leave his presence only seemed to make Randy even _more _upset for reasons she couldn't identify, and this in turn only made her even _more_ uncomfortable.)

He didn't speak to her at all during their run to the car. Throughout most of the ride itself, he more or less grunted at her if she asked him any questions, and other than the rock music blaring loudly from the radio, no further words were exchanged between the young mother and the Legend Killer.

For reasons she couldn't explain, June almost wished that Randy had yelled at her instead. At the very least, she wished she was sitting in the back of the car with the now sleeping Jamie, instead of being forced to sit in the front passenger seat next to him. The thick silence was suffocating and horribly awkward, and although they were supposed to be close friends, it felt as if they haven't spoken in years.

_Randy, for the love of god, say something! I know you're mad at me, so just…just let it out! I can't take you not __**saying **__anything! It's scaring me… _

June was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped when he finally broke the silence.

"Thank you," he mumbled, his voice low and hoarse. "Thank you for…for what you did today."

"Huh?"June's head snapped up, her mouth falling slightly open as she stared at Randy incredulously. "Y-you're…you're thanking me?"

"Yeah." Slowing to a stop as they reached a red light, he turned to face her with one hand still on the wheel. June unconsciously bit her lip—the hand on the wheel was tight and stressed, and Randy's normally vivid blue eyes seemed tired and exhausted. "You saved my dad from being thrown out. And…and you made him laugh." He swallowed thickly, blinking as he stared at the road ahead. "Whenever my family visits, he recognizes us, but he always yells at us. He yells at me and mom, and he practically throws things at Becky and Nathan. I haven't…I haven't heard him laugh in such a long time."

June heard the barest trace of a tremor in his deep voice, and she could feel the pain radiating off of him in waves. Smiling sadly, she reached out and took his free hand, causing him to look back at her in surprise. "You don't have to thank me," she replied, squeezing his palm gently. "After everything you and John and Jeff did for me, helping you was the least I could do. And don't worry, love. I won't tell a soul about today. You kept it a secret for a reason, right?"

She felt his hand tremble ever so slightly, before his hold on her tightened painfully. "In a couple of years, he's not going to remember this," he said, his voice dark and gruff. "He's not going to remember you. He has his good days and bad days now, but soon he won't even remember who _I _am."

"Don't think that way," June scolded lightly. His crushing grip was starting to hurt, but something told her that letting him go at this point, even for just a second, wasn't the right idea. She had honestly meant every word she said to Bob Orton, when she described Randy as a fire within a blizzard. Finding that fire was practically an honor, because Randy certainly wasn't this open to everyone. But she knew she had to be careful. If that fire ever went out, she'd be stuck with nothing but the blizzard again, and she'd most certainly freeze to death. "Layla said he was making progress. Maybe if I go back regularly, it'll help."

"You don't have to." The light turned green, and Randy made a quick left turn towards their apartment. "It must have been weird for you to pretend we were…you know. A couple. And for my dad to call Jamie his grandchild…"

"Alright, I admit that pretending to be married to you was a little strange—" June suddenly felt Randy's fingers twitch against hers "—but honestly? After a while, I didn't really mind. I mean, it made your father happy, after all. And Jamie really seemed to like him, so there was nothing to get upset over." The young mother laughed softly, and gave the Legend Killer a smile. "We certainly don't feel _that _way about each other, but I don't think it would be the end of the world if I was married to you. You _are_ very nice to look at."

Without warning, Randy's throat constricted painfully, and his chest felt uncomfortably tight. He was suddenly all too aware of how warm June's hand felt in his own, how soft her skin felt against his, and for one fleeting second he honestly, truly _wanted_. He wanted time to freeze, for this moment to last, because he wasn't sure if he had heard June's words correctly and he wanted her to repeat them, even if she had only been saying them in jest.

"At the very least, we should let Jamie visit the retirement home regularly," June went on, staring out the window as she searched for their apartment. "Your father absolutely adored her. And despite what you may think, I believe that he really does love you, Randy. He practically beamed every time I complimented you. Don't tell Becky and Nathan, but I think you're his favorite…"

"Heh." Randy forcefully swallowed down the lump in his throat, and threw June a cocky grin. "I've _always _been his favorite. I'm just waiting for the day when he finally admits that to my face."

"And now I see where you get all of your lovely charm from," the young mother replied dryly, rolling her eyes when Randy waggled his eyebrows at her playfully. "Oh, knock it off! Did you inherit that eyebrow wiggle from your father? Is it generic or something? I swear, he's been doing that to me all day…"

"You just admitted that you think I'm good-looking, woman. Don't deny my sexiness."

"I regret opening my mouth now," June grumbled. She tried to pull her hand away, but oddly enough, Randy's firm grip wouldn't relent. "And there are plenty of men out there who are much sexier than you, so please deflate that head of yours. You won't be able to get out of the car."

"HEY!" Randy cried in outrage. "That is _blasphemy, _Junie! There is _no one _sexier than the Lady Thriller, and you know it!"

"I think we're finally home," June murmured, purposefully ignoring the fuming Legend Killer sitting beside her. "Say, is that John out front? Is he wearing that white tee-shirt I like? I think he looks totally sexy and ravishing whenever he wears that…"

"JUNIE!"

* * *

Dave sat nervously in his car, watching June's apartment with increasing apprehension.

He had been there ever since he had gotten off from work, which was almost two hours ago at this point. Although he had called her earlier, the fact that his conversation had been abruptly cut short by that headache of a man who called himself Chris Jericho left things largely unfinished in Dave's mind. Rey had assured him that June didn't seem scared or mad at them in the slightest and that she seemed ready to come back to work tomorrow, but that wasn't the point.

_He _wanted to talk to _her. _He didn't want reassurance from a third party, and he didn't want to get interrupted again during another one of his conversations with June. He wanted to hear from June's own mouth that she wasn't angry at him about the takeover. He wanted to hear from June's own mouth that she still trusted him, and that she still needed him in her life.

And because he doubted he could ever get his point across to her on the phone, he decided that seeing her in person was the best way to finally talk things out with her.

At least, that had been the idea up until he arrived at her front doorstep. It was one thing to _plan_ a course of action; actually _carrying out _that course of action was another matter entirely. While he had originally planned on simply going up to the front door and asking June if he could come in, he lost his nerve upon realizing that he hadn't really thought of what he was going to say _after _he went in. That led to him retreating back to his car, which led to him agonizing for two hours over how he was going to explain himself to the small, dark-haired woman, which led to him berating himself for not being more articulate in the first place.

_Oh god. What was I thinking? I suck at using words to express myself! I should have brought Rey with me. He might have poked fun at me for chickening out, but he always knows what to say in stressful situations…_

Suddenly, he saw a Hummer pull up next to the apartment entrance. A young man stepped out of the driver's side, and Dave immediately recognized him as the one who had manhandled June the night she left the hospital with Jamie. Dave felt his lip curl into a sneer—if that bastard was still bothering June even after all this time, he was going to show the little punk exactly why he was called "The Animal."

But his mind went blank when he saw a woman emerge from the passenger's side, and he was struck completely dumb when he realized that the woman…was June.

"You have the kid, Junie?" the young punk asked, as June pulled a sleeping baby from the back of the car. "I don't want Cena to arrest me for child endangerment, just because we accidentally left her in the car."

"First of all, John would never arrest you. You're his best friend."

"That's debatable."

"It is not! And second, don't say such horrible things! Leaving Jamie in the car…are you trying to give me nightmares?"

"…maybe."

"Randy!" June smacked the punk (_Randy_, Dave corrected himself quickly) in the arm. "That isn't funny!"

"ORTON!" Just then, another man ran towards the pair, a man Dave remembered as the one who had almost started a fistfight with him when June went to see Jamie in the hospital nursery. The Animal growled; he didn't particularly like _this _asshole either. "Orton, where the hell did you take Junie? What the fuck was so important that a sick woman had to get out of bed for you and…oh god. You had Jamie with you too? Are you out of your mind, you bastard? I oughta—"

"John, please calm down!" June cried, cradling Jamie to her bosom when the little baby began to wail faintly from all the noise. "Don't wake Jamie! She's really tired!"

"Oh. Sorry Junie." John rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, before he cleared his throat in an attempt to save face. "A-anyway, Orton…do you know what time it is? Did Junie even get a chance to eat dinner? And where the hell is Hardy?"

"I'm right here, Cena!" a third man shouted. Dave blinked and rubbed his eyes—despite the rather sharp business suit the man was wearing, the Animal couldn't help but notice the rainbow-colored hair that adorned his head. "My god, I could hear you yapping a whole block away! And Junie…what'cha doing out here with these dunderheads? It's dark out."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DUNDERHEAD?!" Randy and John simultaneously yelled, causing the poor baby to scream in agitation.

"GUYS! STOP IT!" June shrieked, causing all three men to fall silent. For a few tense seconds, no one said a word as the young mother cooed and rocked the baby in her arms. When Jamie finally calmed down, June turned to the men with a bone-chilling glare. "Honestly, can't you three go for two minutes without fighting? Just _two _minutes? It's been a long day, and I have to get ready to go back to work tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow?" John stared at the young mother worriedly. "But Junie…is that really okay? I mean, you still don't look completely better yet."

"I'll be fine, love. Did you eat?"

"Um, I brought Chinese for all of us. I got you that special dish you really like."

Dave watched as the dark-haired woman gave John a coy smile. "Extra spicy, right?"

John smiled back and winked. "Would I ever get anything else for you?"

"John, you're the best!" June stood on her tiptoes and gave the young man a kiss on the cheek, which caused the other two men (and Dave as well) to go red in the face. "Come on then…let's go eat! And Jeff, you have to tell me how that interview went!"

"Interview?" Randy (who was still a punk in Dave's eyes) snorted aloud, and gave June a look of disbelief. "Are you telling me that Hardy finally got off his lazy ass and got re-employed? Thank god. Now he can finally start paying his share of the rent again."

However, Jeff, the one with the rainbow-colored locks, simply ignored Randy as he grinned and wrapped his arm around the young mother's waist, pulling both her and the baby into the apartment while simultaneously separating her from John and Randy. "Girl, pay no attention to the overtanned loudmouth and the Eminem wannabe over there. You asked me about my interview, right? Well, let me tell you that those editors were _blown away_! I showed them some of my inked sets, and you won't believe what they said…"

"Hey!" The two remaining men, now livid with anger, trailed after them, both looking as if they were but a hair's width away from murdering Jeff on the spot. "Hardy! Get back here! You can't just take Junie and call us—HARDY!"

As the little group finally disappeared into the building, Dave was left sitting in his car, feeling somewhat disoriented and very, very confused as to what he had just witnessed.

That had been June, no doubt about it. And Jamie too—the child had grown since the last time he saw her, but he definitely recognized the adorable little baby. But that wasn't what bothered him. No, what was irking him was not the young mother herself, but those three men who hovered over her.

Even after a year, she was still hanging around those punks. No, "hanging around" seemed too causal an expression for how she interacted with them. The way she behaved around those men…it was almost as if she was living with them. All three of them. But that couldn't be true, especially considering how that bastard Randy had treated her. Why would she be living with an asshole like that, after he had put his hands on her so abusively? Why would she be living with _any _of those men, let alone live with all three of them? What sort of woman did that anyway, in this day and age?

But still…the way she bantered with not only Randy, but also John and Jeff…she was definitely close to the three of them, closer than she was with him and Rey. And that pissed Dave off to no end. Was she involved with one of them? Did she harbor feelings for any of them? Throughout the whole year, whenever Dave timidly flirted with her and she smiled back shyly at him…did any of it mean anything to her, or had it all been a game?

His hands gripped the wheel so tightly that had he applied any more pressure, it would have broken in two. Jealously was not a good look on him and he knew this, but the images of June laughing with the three men simply would _not _leave his mind.

He had to talk to her. He had to talk to her and sort this out, _soon_.

* * *

**A/N: Welp, here it is. A chapter full of Randyness and Junieness with a hint of jealous Dave to boot! I hope you're all happy!**

**And the polls are the same as last time, so no need to waste space.**


	34. Legend of the Caterpillar Mushroom, Pt1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-Four: Legend of the Caterpillar Mushroom, Part One**

_Have you guys ever heard of caterpillar mushrooms?_

_Before you ask, no, they're not just mushrooms that look like caterpillars. They're actually mushrooms that grow from caterpillars. Meaning, they grow on the bodies of real, live caterpillars, until the caterpillar is dead and all you have left is this nasty, creepy-looking mushroom._

_I know. Gross, right? _

_This apparently happens to some caterpillars before winter. Before they get a chance to spin up their cocoons so they can transform into a butterfly, they get sick. Really sick. So sick in fact, that their bodies become black and gross and icky to the __**extreme**__. The mushrooms grow on the caterpillar's body, making the poor thing weaker and weaker as the icky mushroom grows bigger and bigger. Then, when the mushroom is all big and fat, the caterpillar is shriveled and wispy and really, really __**dead**__._

_The caterpillar never gets a chance to make her cocoon. She never gets a chance to transform and become a beautiful butterfly. She never gets the chance to spread her wings and fly._

_It's a really, really sad story. Mommy told it to me, and I kinda wish she didn't._

* * *

_Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up…_

June groaned as she buried her face into her pillow. She was tired, her head ached and she wanted nothing more than to roll over and sleep like a dead log. But her internal alarm was blaring in her brain, and she forced her eyes to open, millimeters at a time. Yawning, she wearily dragged her body into an upright sitting position, her hazy vision honing in on the clock that was on the nightstand next to her bed.

5:53 AM.

She shut her eyes, trying her hardest not to tremble. She could have easily gone back to sleep and called Rey later in the morning, informing him that she was sicker than she realized and still couldn't come into work. It wouldn't have been too hard to pull off, and a small, selfish part of her actually wanted to call the Hispanic doctor and lie to him, especially considering what awaited her at the hospital.

But she couldn't. She knew this.

_This isn't fair. I just want to be left alone! I don't want anything to do with this awful mess! I just want to run away from all this!_

…

_But I can't. I can't run anymore. There's no time left._

The young mother rose to her feet, soundlessly walking across the cold floorboards as she stopped in front of Jamie's crib. For a moment, she stood there silently, gently stroking her child's hair as she listened to the baby's breathing, which was regular and slow, as it should be in sleep. Slow and soft.

Her daughter. Her tiny, beautiful daughter. June swallowed thickly, running her fingers over Jamie's plump cheek. Her child was so small, so fragile, and yet Jamie was her only real pillar of strength, one that she frantically clung to. The reason why June kept getting up in the mornings, kept working her behind off in the hospital, kept finding the strength to smile and laugh through her pain…it was all because of Jamie. Without her daughter, June knew that she would have no will or reason to continue living, and had she not been pregnant at the time, she more than likely would have tried to join Todd in the afterlife.

And that was why she was so scared.

Hunter's words rang incessantly in her head, his thinly veiled threats all but knifing her through the heart. Even three days after the fact, she still couldn't believe he had threatened her. Then again, she still couldn't believe that he had been spying on her, but he had been more than capable of pulling off _that_ devious little stunt. And June knew she couldn't take chances. She couldn't risk becoming a target. Just as her baby girl was all she had left in the world, she was all Jamie had left in the world, and if Hunter ever followed through on his threats—

No. She couldn't think about that. Things weren't _that _dismal yet.

But why? Why her? She didn't give a flying hoot about business deals and hostile takeovers. Just how had she become integral to his sick schemes? And despite Dave promising to protect her, she couldn't help but feel that his words were hollow. Hunter had her shadowed for god-knows-how-long before finally approaching her. This was a man who obviously had power. How could a weak, defenseless woman like herself fight off someone like that?

She remembered Dave's desperate words of how he hadn't wanted for her to get caught up in this, how he had told Hunter to leave her alone. But the truth remained that she was very much involved in this plot, and that Hunter _wouldn't _leave her alone.

Not until she stole Chris Jericho's shares away from him.

_They're liars and thieves, the whole lot of them._

Sighing softly, June moved away from her sleeping daughter's crib and tiptoed towards the bathroom, the wooden floors chillingly cold against her bare feet. As she shut the door behind herself, she ritualistically went about her morning routine of peeing, flushing the toilet when she was done, and scuffling towards the sink to wash her hands, brush her teeth, and splash some cold water on her face. She slipped a slim navy hoodie over her head, before shrugging on a pair of faded jeans along with some scruffy white sneakers.

It was amazing, really, how the body could still perform the most basic tasks even when the mind and spirit felt so downtrodden. June couldn't help the bitter smile that forced its way onto her face as she headed into the kitchen, already pulling out a box of oatmeal from one of the cupboards. She knew that human beings were tough, determined creatures—the will to keep going, to simply _survive_ usually trumped over any thoughts the mind had otherwise.

_Curse my desire to continue living_, she thought cynically._ It always ruins everything._

She was still stirring in the oatmeal when John shuffled into the kitchen, yawning loudly.

"Junie?" He stared at the young mother sleepily before throwing a quick glance at the kitchen clock. "What'cha doin' up? It's six-twenty in the morning."

"It's nice to see you too," June replied humorously, placing the lid back on the pot of oatmeal before turning to the half-awake detective with a small smile. "You do have a point, though. It is pretty early. Go back to sleep, love."

"Shouldn't I be saying that to _you_?" he retorted, folding his arms over his chest. But when June didn't reply, he walked up to her, wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, and drew her into a strong embrace.

"John?" June blinked, peering up at him with large, curious brown eyes. "What's up? You okay?"

"I'm fine," he murmured, resting his chin on the top of her head. "It's you I'm worried about. You need to take care of yourself, you know? I know you weren't completely better, but you still went out yesterday to take care of Orton's shit. You can't keep doing that."

"Wha—what are you talking about?" Feeling the heat rush to her cheeks, June pulled back slightly and forced the biggest, cheesiest grin she had onto her face. "See this? Look at this smile. Does this smile belong to someone who's on their deathbed? Does it?"

Unfortunately, her façade didn't fool the young detective, who merely snorted out loud. "You're a shitty liar, you know that, Junie? You were puking your guts out just two days ago, and you had a fever that was over one hundred degrees."

"I'm better now," June insisted stubbornly. She then lifted a hand and felt John's forehead, which resulted in him reddening until his cheeks were a bright crimson. "You might be worried about me, but I'm more concerned about _you_. You don't seem to have a fever, but you seem so _exhausted_. Is everything alright at the precinct?"

"I'm not entirely sure." John sighed, and buried his face into June's soft black hair. "It's not actually the precinct, to be honest. We just got this new district attorney from Los Angeles, and he's the biggest son-of-a-bitch it has _ever _been my displeasure to meet. I hope he accidentally gets covered in honey and falls into a nest of flesh-eating ants."

"Ewwww!" The dark-haired woman made a face, sticking her tongue out in disgust. "John! That's gross!"

"What? He deserves it! He's horrible as a prosecutor!" John scowled and gritted his teeth, unconsciously tightening his arms around the young mother's waist. "He's stuck up, arrogant, egomaniacal, thinks the world belongs to him and that he's some sort of modern day hero to the people. If you ask me, the self-proclaimed 'People's Champion' should get his head out of his ass and try to properly convict the bastards we bring in instead of trying to cut deals with them all the time!"

"Are you serious?" June gasped, her eyes widening in shock. "Is he really that vile?"

"That's like asking if Orton has a sick obsession with baby oil," John replied flatly, earning a dry chuckle from June. "You know I don't joke about my job, Junie. You, Jamie, and my detective work are the few things in the world I take seriously."

"John…" The young mother smiled in embarrassment, and looked up at him shyly. "Don't feel bad. If he really is as atrocious as you say he is, I'm sure he won't remain as your district attorney for much longer."

"I wish that were true," John grumbled. "I wish more people thought like you, and got rid of assholes the minute they reveal themselves to be…well, _assholes_. But he's super popular with the media and even though it makes me sick to admit it, he _is _one of the top prosecutors in the country at the moment. Getting rid of him is completely out of the question."

"Oh, poop." June bit her lip, before she wrapped her arms around John's waist and gave him a tight hug of her own, causing him to look down at her in surprise. "Don't feel so down, love. Even if he is a jerk, he can't do his job without you. Prosecutors rely on the evidence gathered by the detectives to make their case, don't they? Besides, I firmly believe that in the end, people get exactly what they deserve, whether it's good or bad."

"Ha! The laws of karma, huh?"

"Exactly! Bad things eventually happen to people who are intent on harming others, so don't worry, John. Things will work out."

"Is that so?" The young detective thought for a moment, before he gave June a playful smirk. "If that's the case, how does karma explain the fact that Orton hasn't been struck by lightning yet?"

"John!" June yelped, swatting him on the arm as he laughed and held her closer to him as a result. "You're so mean sometimes! Randy's not that bad! I mean, sure, his business can be a little cold, cruel, and cutthroat, but he doesn't…um…what I mean is, he might associate with rotten, selfish people from time to time, and it has a tendency to make him crabby and grouchy almost twenty-four hours a day, but…um…he…" She flailed under John's increasingly cocky grin, trying her hardest to come up with a reason why the Legend Killer's line of work was a good way to make a living.

…

…

She couldn't come up with a single thing.

"I accept your surrender, Junie," John declared victoriously, his grin now so wide that June could count every one of his dimples if she tried.

"Oh, stuff it, you!" June retorted heatedly, sticking her tongue out at him in retaliation. "Alright, so Randy works in an environment that's easily comparable to Hell. Then you should be happy! You don't have to deal with backstabbers who'll sooner sell your mother than befriend you!"

"True," the young detective mused, still grinning. "Playing the corporate game, stealing stocks and ruining other people's lives…Orton's building up some pretty bad mojo. He'll probably find himself getting beaten to a pulp one day by some shady asshole who's just as greedy and power-hungry as he is."

"John, come on." June frowned in disapproval and was about to tell John off…but then a thought suddenly struck her.

Although he was only saying these things to badmouth Randy, John made a good point. No, he made a _very _good point. Randy played the game. More specifically, he played the _corporate _game, and he happened to play it very, _very _well.

She didn't exactly know all the nitty-gritty details regarding Randy's C.E.O. position, but at the very least, she knew that the Legend Killer was a pro at what he did. Despite the fact that he had taken control of his father's company at a young age, he had expanded R.K.O. Corporation beyond even Bob Orton's capabilities (or so Randy claimed, and obnoxiously at that). Randy had to deal with stressful situations while outmaneuvering those who wanted to steal everything he had, all on a daily basis. But somehow, he still managed to outsmart them every single day, and crush them under his own heel in the process.

The bottom line was that Randy knew how to deal with men like Hunter. And considering the very delicate position she was in, June realized that the Legend Killer was her one chance at escaping the Cerebral Assassin's clutches unscathed.

_The answer's been right under my nose this entire time. Why on earth didn't I think of this sooner?!_

A deep, furious voice suddenly cut through her thoughts. "Oh my fucking god. Will you two just get a room already?!"

"Eep!" June sprang away from John as if she had been bitten, and she spun around to find herself staring into the scorching blue eyes of the very man she had been thinking about. "R-Randy!" she stammered, before she stopped and quickly composed herself. "For the love of god, don't scare me like that! It's too early for me to have shot nerves!"

"Yeah, Orton!" John agreed loudly. "Junie's finally feeling better! The last thing we need is for you to scare her to her grave!" As he said this, he wrapped a protective arm around June's shoulders and kissed the top of her head, which invoked an immediate response from Randy. June literally felt her nerves turn to ice when she saw his eyes narrow, his hands clench, and his teeth grit as he let out a low growl.

_What the…what's wrong with him? Is he sick?!_

"Um…Randy?" The young mother pulled away from John (which caused him to pout rather childishly) and gave the seething Legend Killer a shaky smile. "What's the matter? Were we too loud…?" It was then she finally realized that he was only clad in his pajama bottoms, and June immediately averted her eyes from Randy's shirtless chest, trying not to blush as she stared hard at a greasy spot in the wall. "Um, I…I was going to leave early for work. Really, I was! I didn't mean to wake you up—eeeeek!"

Strong fingers suddenly grabbed her wrist, and June yelped when Randy all but yanked her away from John. With a small whimper, she tried to pull away, but he pulled her closer to him instead and kept his glare fixed on the young detective.

"Cena," Randy hissed angrily, "I have a _very _long day ahead of me, and I want to get some sleep before I have to deal with it. Likewise, I'm sure Junie has things to do and doesn't want to have to deal with your bullshit this early in the morning! So I'm only going to say this _once—_" June drew a sharp intake of breath when she felt his fingers dig painfully into her skin "—stop molesting Junie every chance you get, or else I'll RKO your fat head straight though the kitchen counter!"

"I'd love to see you try, motherfucker!" John yelled, anger rippling through his features as he took a menacing step towards his (questionable) best friend. "What the hell is wrong with you? I'm not molesting her, you sick freak!"

"You were standing in the middle of the kitchen, touching her nonstop for a full five minutes! Who the hell gives out five minute hugs to their friends in this day and age unless you're some sort of sexual predator? Besides, considering all the other times you harass Junie—"

"Only your depraved mind would confuse affection for harassment," John sneered, cutting through Randy's words harshly. "And were you seriously just standing there, watching us hug and talk for five whole minutes? If you ask me, that's the behavior of a creepy stalk—"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence, Cena." Randy's voice was suddenly low and soft, a dangerous combination. "_Don't_. If you want to make it to work today in one piece, I suggest you shut your mouth."

"Guys!" June whispered loudly, trying her hardest not to panic. Randy's accusation towards John had all but floored her, not only because it was so incredibly absurd, but because she could never, _ever _imagine John sexually abusing _anyone_. She didn't know how Randy's mind came up with such a horrible idea, but frankly his imagination was beginning to scare her. "Guys, be quiet! Knock it off! Jamie and Jeff are still sleeping!"

"But Orton's being an idiot!" the young detective complained. "And he basically just called me a sex-crazed pervert!"

"Yeah? Well, you _are_ a sex-crazed pervert," Randy retorted angrily. "And my IQ is way, _way_ higher than yours, so clearly your definition of 'idiot' is a little lacking. But that's exactly what I'd expect from someone as dimwitted as yourself."

"_Dimwitted?!_" John was practically seething at this point, and it was all June could do not to throw herself in between the two and scream for them to stop.

"Randy, don't say anything else," she pleaded, grabbing the hand that was clenched around her wrist and gently massaging it in an effort to calm him down. "Please? I'm apologizing for the two of us…isn't that enough? Leave John alone!"

"No, Junie!" Randy hissed, and to her dismay, his grip on her only tightened tenfold. "This stupid poser needs to be put in his fucking place like the goddamn dog that he is!"

June wanted to die right then and there.

"P-poser?!" The young detective's jaw hit the floor, before his eyes narrowed until they were mere slits. "Aw, hell no! Who are you calling a poser, you lubed up, dick-sucking, porn star wannabe?!"

June scratched feebly at Randy's hand, desperately trying to escape the inevitable explosion.

"You know what?" John went on brazenly, as Randy's expression grew darker and darker, "I've had enough of this. You and me, Orton, right here, right now! Your ass deserved a beating from the very first day that we met, and even though I'm a couple of decades late, I'm going to do what your dumbass family should have done the moment you were born!"

For a second, the Legend Killer stared chillingly at John, his cold blue eyes never leaving the other man's. June shut her eyes, praying that the fight would be quick and relatively unmessy, but all of a sudden June felt Randy squeeze her wrist again, almost gently this time, before he lowered his head and let out a low chuckle. "You think you're funny, don't you, Cena?" he asked, his voice frighteningly calm for someone who had been about to explode no less than ten seconds ago. "Unfortunately, I'm going to have to decline your little offer."

"Excuse me?" John stared at Randy in disbelief. "Are you chickening out on me, asshole?"

"I'm not chickening out on anything. Frankly, you're just not worth my time."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"You have ears, the last time I checked," the Legend Killer said smugly, knowing full well he was riling John up to his boiling point. As he spoke, his fingers slid from June's slightly bruised wrist and discreetly slipped into her hand, although his grip was just as painful and unyielding as it was before. "You're a walking insult to humankind, Cena. I'm not going to waste my time touching you. We both know I'd beat your fat ass within the first thirty seconds, anyway!"

"You shitting son-of-a-_bitch_!" John snarled in a restrained roar. "I'll rip your balls off and stuff them down your throat!" When Randy opened his mouth, a devilish sort of gratification shining in his stare, June immediately twisted out of the Legend Killer's grasp (was it her imagination, or did he just look incredibly hurt at that just now?) and went over to John, unable to take any more of this.

"John, please!" She reached up to touch his shoulders gently. At once, the young detective tensed and became quiet, although June could see that his teeth were clenching together. "Just ignore him and calm down. For me?"

"That's right, Cena, be a good little boy and listen to Junie," Randy taunted. John growled and was about to respond with a cutting retort of his own, but was suddenly interrupted by June's angry shouts.

"BOTH OF YOU, STOP FIGHTING!" she screamed, a deafening silence falling over the kitchen shortly after. Randy abruptly turned to fix the young mother with a stunned stare while John shut his mouth and immediately lowered his head, his gestures abashed and submissive. At the same time, a very groggy Jeff shuffled into the kitchen, with an equally groggy Jamie in his arms.

"What the hell is going on?" the rainbow-haired artist said wearily, soothingly rubbing the little baby's back as she began to whimper and fuss. "Junie, why are you screaming? Are they bothering you? Ugh…" He groaned and pressed two fingers against his throbbing temples. "Seriously guys, it's too early for this! Orton, Cena, can you stop bothering Junie and murder each other later? And if you have to fight now, can you keep it down? You know Jamie gets cranky if she doesn't get her twelve hours of beauty sleep!"

The little baby howled in agreement, rubbing her eyes with her tiny fists. _You poo-poo meanie heads! Stop shouting! I was having this amazing dream where I was Queen of the World, and everyone was my slave except for mommy! I even had Dr. Bob-tee-sah spoon-feeding me ice-cream, and you RUINED it, gosh darn it!_

"The kid waking up is NOT our fault!" Randy yelled, a muscle working furiously in his jaw as he rounded on the half-conscious Jeff. "And stay out of this, Hardy! Take the brat and just go back to sleep!"

"Don't you call Jamie a brat!" John snapped, getting right back into the Legend Killer's face. "You're the one who started this stupid argument in the first place! For crying out loud, Junie and I were having a nice conversation right up until your flat ass barged in and started accusing me of sexual harassment!"

"WHY YOU—"

"_Enough_!" June shrieked, startling all three men and the little baby into speechlessness. Shoving herself squarely in-between Randy and John, she turned to the Legend Killer with narrowed, infuriated brown eyes. "Randy, that is _enough_! I don't know why you're being so horrendous to John this morning—"

"You tell him, Junie!" John said loudly, only to be elbowed hard by Jeff a second later. "Ow…"

"—but frankly," June went on, ignoring the young detective's outbursts, "you're way out of line! Now, I'm sorry if we woke you up, I really am! But that's no reason to go ahead and accuse John of—of being disrespectful to me!"

"But—but he—" Randy flailed for a moment, completely unaccustomed to dealing with the young mother when she was _this_ upset. "He was—it looked like—"

"Aww, did widdle Ran-dee lose his ability to form proper sentences?" John teased. His ribbing abruptly ceased when June rounded on him next, looking very much like a mother bear who was about to rip his insides out.

"And you!" she growled, poking a finger _hard _against his chest. "You're no better than he is! Stop falling for his bait every time he insults you! I swear, you two just add fuel to each other's fires until there's nothing left but one blazing inferno!"

"But—no, that's not—" Both Randy and John sputtered indignantly, their jaws hitting the floor from both shock and alarm. "Junie, I was just trying to get him off you!" the Legend Killer yelled, just as the young detective wailed, "He started it! This isn't my fault!"

"Ugh!" Paying no attention to either of the two babbling men before her, the young mother instead turned towards Jeff, who was watching the entire scene unfold in front of him with an amused smirk. "Jeff, promise me that no matter what happens, you'll remain the sane and level-headed one in this household. Honestly, I'm starting to feel as if you're my one pillar of strength throughout all this…"

"Aw, you're making me blush, girl," Jeff replied, giving June a cheeky grin as Randy and John floundered pathetically in the background.

"HEY! What are you saying, woman?!"

"Hardy's brainwashing you, Junie! Don't fall for his shit!"

"Orton, Cena, just go back to bed," the rainbow-haired artist grumbled, placing a yawning Jamie in her highchair. "Like I said earlier, it's way too early for all this. That goes for you too, Junie," he added, looking over the young mother with a curious eye. "Why the heck are ya up anyway, making oatmeal at the crack of dawn?"

"Huh? Oh! Um, well…" June looked away, unconsciously twisting her hands together. She didn't know what to tell Jeff. She couldn't very well tell him the truth, could she? How could she explain the fact that she had been plagued by nightmares brought on by fear and stress? Fear and stress that had been forced upon her by an insanely powerful man whom she doubted any one of them could touch? Knowing Jeff, he would probably tell her to report the threats to the police. John, being a part of said police, would try to track Hunter down in his own home and beat up the older man until he was half dead. And Randy…

_Oh god, Randy._

June inwardly cringed. While the Legend Killer had seemed like the best shot she had against Hunter just a couple of minutes ago…his little immature spat with John had completely destroyed whatever confidence she had in his abilities. How could she trust him to help her when he freaked out over the stupidest things, like an innocent hug from a dear friend?

How could she trust him to protect her and Jamie, when he couldn't even trust his closest friends?

No. She couldn't burden them with her problems. _Wouldn't_ burden them with her problems. Especially considering the fact that one of them had the worst anger management problems in the world.

But that left June with not knowing what to tell Jeff.

Schooling her features to the best of her ability, June forced a laugh that she hoped sounded genuine. "Don't worry about me! I'm just fine! I had some bad dreams last night, and I just couldn't get back to sleep. I planned on heading into work a little early, but I thought I'd make some breakfast for you before I left. That's all!"

"…really." Jeff, John, and Randy's eyes fell upon her twisting hands, and the brows of all three men rose simultaneously. "You _sure_ that's all, Junie?" Jeff asked skeptically, carefully watching the young mother's reactions as she fidgeted under their stares. "You know you can come to us with anything, right? I mean, barring Orton and Cena's never ending idiocy—"

"HEY!" the two men shouted, outraged.

"—we all care about you," Jeff continued calmly. "And you just got over your illness. I don't want you relapsing or getting leg cramps in the middle of the day."

"I know," June admitted, giving him a small smile. "And I won't, okay? I'll be careful. I'm wearing my constrictive stockings and everything! So don't…don't worry about me. I'll be fine." She averted her eyes to the ground, unwilling to meet Jeff's gaze, but she forced herself to keep smiling. "I…I have to go, alright?"

Jeff frowned. June couldn't lie to save her life, and he knew that even now, something was clearly troubling her…but he wasn't going to pressure her into talking if she wasn't ready to open up yet. "Alright. Just take it easy, okay? Oh, and let me know what you want for dinner tonight. I'll cook."

"You'll what?!" A look of horror spread like wildfire across John's face. "Oh god, NO! Junie, don't let Hardy cook! Every time he cooks, something horrible happens!"

"It does not!" Jeff cried out, insulted. "You act like I'm gonna blow up the kitchen or something!"

"You almost _did _blow up the kitchen last time," Randy reminded him, his voice dry and deadpan. "If I recalled correctly, you actually managed to make exploding pancakes. How the hell can you make a pancake explode, anyway? Do you know how much the dry cleaners charged me to get all that butter and syrup out of my suit?!"

"First of all Orton, get your facts straight before you start slinging mud at people! The Exploding Pancake Disaster was not my fault! Cena's the one who messed with the batter when my back was turned!"

"Your pancake batter tasted like crap!" John retorted defensively. "And I only added some fruit and eggs and whatever else was on the kitchen counter! I didn't mess with it enough to make it explode!"

"The evidence does NOT lie, Cena! You of all people should know that!"

"Oh god, it never ends…" Sighing in frustration, June walked over to Jamie and pressed a quick kiss to her daughter's forehead, smiling when the little baby only stared up at her with fluttering, sleepy brown eyes. "Alright, sweetie. Mommy's going to be a little late tonight, so be extra good for your uncles, okay?"

_Late? _Jamie blinked curiously at her mother._ What'choo talkin' about, mommy? You can't be late! Tonight's the night me and Daddy John watch all the episodes of the first season of The Walking Dead! …actually, I'm not supposed to tell you about me watching the show, since Daddy John wants it to be a secret and all, but still! I know you're not really going to stomp on his wee-wee for letting me watch scary stuff! I want you there so we can watch zombies eat people TOGETHER! Come on mommy, you can't be late!_

"I'll see you later, honey!" With one last kiss to her daughter's cheek, June straightened up and headed towards the door, pausing only to grab her handbag and a large white gift box that had been left by the front door. "Bye guys!" she yelled, hoping to be heard over their increasingly unruly argument. "I'm going to attend a business-related dinner event tonight and I may not be home until really, really late at night, so don't wait up for me, okay? I left lasagna in the freezer, so just put that in the oven when you get hungry! Later!"

"Huh?" The three men looked up, not quite registering what the young mother had said, but she was already out the door before any of them could stop her. Randy stared after her, confusion lining his face, before he turned to the equally flabbergasted Jeff and John. "Did she say she was attending some business dinner?" he asked incredulously, all thoughts of their previous argument forgotten.

Jeff nodded, while John continued to stare at the front door in shock. "That's what I heard." The rainbow-haired artist then walked over to the freezer, opening it and groaning when he saw the lasagna that June had mentioned earlier. "Crap. I like Junie's cooking and all, but I really don't wanna eat without her."

"Me neither." Randy chewed his bottom lip in vexation, before he glowered unpleasantly. "Since when do med assistants go to business dinners anyway? I would believe it if she was a doctor, but she's _not_."

"Well, maybe one of the big shots in her hospital invited her?" Jeff suggested, although he seemed uneasy about even making the implication. "Maybe Junie charmed one of them so much that they asked her out on a business date."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Never say that again, Hardy," John said crossly, his face twisting slightly from jealousy. "Junie can't go out on a date! What about us?"

"What _about_ us?" Jeff replied gruffly. "We can't say anything if she wants to go out with someone. We're not her husbands or boyfriends, or whatever it is you wanna call it. We don't have any rights to her in _that _way."

"Well, no, but…" John wilted, before he coughed and cleared his throat loudly, trying to save face. "B-but still! She would have told me something if she was going out on a date! I mean, we _are _her friends. Especially me."

"Why the hell would she tell _you_ that she had a date?" the rainbow-haired artist asked flatly, folding his arms in front of his chest. "You get nuts if she holds a male puppy for too long! You're probably the _last _person she'd tell."

"I agree with Hardy," Randy mumbled, although he seemed to be just as disturbed about the situation as John was. "Face it, Cena—your overprotectiveness is kind of a turn-off."

"Like your douchiness is any better, Orton!" the young detective snapped, which resulted in Jeff having to restrain Randy from strangling John to death. "Anyway, Junie didn't say she had a date, so I'm just going to assume she really is going to some dinner event, end-of-story!"

"I guess you're right." Randy shook his head, and forced out a weak laugh. "No use reading too much into it. Besides, Junie's become pretty much a social hermit since Jamie was born. Who would even think about taking her out anyway, if it's not one of us?"

"She's not a hermit!" Jeff protested, scowling. "Why do you always have to put her down, man?"

Randy held up his hands defensively. "Hey! I'm not putting her down! I'm just stating the truth!"

"There's a difference between being honest and being downright rude! And you often fall into the latter of the two categories!"

"I am NOT rude!"

Meanwhile, John stared wistfully at the door June departed through. His eyes then fell on the yellow umbrella that was stacked neatly in the umbrella stand, and he quickly turned his gaze towards the windows, realizing that the clouds were very dark and grey. "Holy shit, it looks like it's going to rain…I should take her umbrella to her later…"

* * *

**A/N: To be honest, this chapter was supposed to have about five more scenes, but it's been over two weeks since my last update and I didn't want you guys to wait any longer. Hence why this chapter is part one, because Jamie's "Caterpillar Mushroom" opening message has to extend to part two. **

**You guys can blame the delay and the chapter cut on John Cena. He's the one who gave me the major roadblock in writing for the past two weeks. And speaking of Cena, since he's going to be delivering June's umbrella to her, guess who he'll end up seeing at the hospital with our favorite young mother? **

**I promise, from here on out, the chapters will finally kick things off in terms of romance. (Because you guys have been so patient, you deserve at least a tease. Unless my chapters block me horrendously again. Stupid Cena.)**

**Here's a shoutout toWordsLikeStardust, NikkixWasteland, and slashdlite! Thank you guys for your awesome reviews!**


	35. Legend of the Caterpillar Mushroom, Pt2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-Five: Legend of the Caterpillar Mushroom, Part Two**

_I dunno, guys._

_The more I think about it, the more I really don't like the caterpillar mushroom story. It's making me all sad and depressed and stuff. I know I can seem awesome and amazing and totally grown-up at times…but I'm still just a kid. _

_Kids like stories with happy endings, and the caterpillar mushroom story has everything __**but**__ a happy ending._

_I don't ever want to become a mushroom. Heck, I don't want __**anyone**__ to become a mushroom! That's a horrible thing to happen to a person, no matter how evil or horrible you've been. Some dumb people say that it might not be so bad, because mushrooms are delicious, nutritious, and that their sacrifice can help to starve off another person's hunger. But that has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Not all mushrooms are good to eat, you stupid mookie heads! What if the mushroom is poisonous? You eat it, you'll DIE!_

_The bottom line is that mushrooms get EATEN. Devoured, chewed on, digested, blah, blah, blah. They get plucked, cooked, and then eaten by people who end up pooping the mushrooms out later in some nasty toilet bowl. Is that what you want to end up as? Someone else's poop? What sort of messed-up future is that, HUH?!_

* * *

The hospital lobby had been cleared of all tables and chairs, leaving a wide, open space that was slowly being filled by women of all ages. The floor, usually hard and bare and spotless, was covered with a firm, padded blue mat that was so ridiculously oversized that it took up almost the entire area, forcing some of the departing patients (particularly those trying to leave in wheelchairs) to take alternate routes in their attempts to reach the front doors.

But despite the minor discomforts, the increasingly loud giggling coming the crowd of women overruled the chance of anyone making a complaint. Because if there was one thing that the men of Guerrero Hospital knew, you do_ not_ get in between the fairer sex and a gorgeous, famous, hunky actor.

Especially if said gorgeous, famous, hunky actor happened to be well known not only for his rugged good looks and his top notch acting ability, but also for his kindhearted acts of charity, which included giving out free self-defense classes during mainstream special events.

"Good morning, everyone!" Rob Van Dam greeted in excitement, flashing a charming smile at the ever-growing group of females in front of him. "As most of you may know, I am Rob Van Dam, a.k.a. 'The Whole Damn Show,' a.k.a. Gaston Reines from the hit TV show, _Mercenary Maestro_.Today, we're going to be looking at self-defense and how important it is to be able to protect yourselves! Because we all know that you lovely ladies have the potential to be the most lethal ass-kickers on the face of the earth."

He winked flirtatiously at the crowd, which resulted in about half of the women promptly swooning to the floor, while the other half ended up blushing profusely and began fanning themselves. As the actor smirked and basked in the adoration, the small Hispanic man beside him frowned and punched him in the arm. _Hard_.

"OW! Rey-Rey, what the hell?!"

"Stop making our students faint!" Rey snapped, crossing his arms over his chest in agitation. Instead of his usual scrubs, he was dressed in a black tee-shirt and striped black sweatpants. His ever present surgical mask was still on his face, although he was humorously wearing a black one to match the rest of his outfit. "I know you're here as a special guest for the poker tournament and all, but if we're gonna do this self-defense thing, we need the attendees focused and awake! Not horny and passed out!"

RVD rubbed his injured arm and pouted. "Oh, come on! All I did was greet them and compliment them! That's not against the law!"

"It should be," Rey muttered, watching several ER doctors carry off the unconscious women. "Seriously, cut down on being 'The Whole Damn Show,' would you? Most of the _senoritas_ here are our young interns and resident doctors…and we sort of need them alert and able to form coherent sentences."

"You're such a buzz kill, Rey-Rey," RVD grumbled. Rey responded by nonchalantly flipping him off.

Grousing to himself about ungrateful old friends who loved to take advantage of his generous nature, the actor then gestured to the two men behind him. They were dressed in thick, padded white suits, which had red bull's eyes marked near the groin, the chest, and the head. For some odd reason, the arms of the men were tied to their bodies, severely limiting their movements. Furthermore, the helmets on their heads not only covered their faces entirely from view, but they also seemed to be impairing the men's ability to speak, for they were making several muffled, unintelligible noises that sounded almost frantic in nature.

Not that the women cared, because they were mostly only there to drool at Rob Van Dam.

"Class," RVD said, the captivating smile now back on his face. "The brave, walking targets you see before you are Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. These men have courageously agreed to volunteer and help me and Rey-Rey throughout the class as we learn some basic skills that will help you defend yourself. Mostly by letting you fine ladies beat the stuffing out of them, but let's not concern ourselves with minor details."

"Mmmmmmmmph!" Both Hawkins and Ryder thrashed viciously against their bindings, only to trip and fall flat on their face when they realized that the padded suits restricted their movements _horrendously_. "Mmmmmmmmpgh! MMMMMMMMMPH!"

Rey pushed Ryder's bound body around like a ragdoll until the man was lying flat on his back, before lifting up the helmet ever so slightly. "Your gag too loose or something, _ese_?" the Hispanic doctor asked flatly, staring passively at the white cloth that was tied securely around the young man's mouth. "Want me to tighten it up?"

"Mmmph!" Ryder shook his head hastily, his eyes widening in fear. Rey smiled ominously before lowering the helmet back down.

"Good. That's what I thought."

Suddenly, the front doors to the hospital flew open and a small, dark-haired woman rushed into the lobby. "Oh no," she panted, her arms full from carrying both her travel bag and a large white gift box. "Oh no, I'm late! Dr. Batista is going to kill me! Why did there have to be a hundred-car-pileup in front of me just when I was about to make that turn? Oh no, oh no—" She then stopped, blinking as she spotted the horde of women standing in the lobby, the horde of women who were all staring at her as if she had suddenly sprouted ten heads. "Oh…no. Did I…interrupt something?"

"Good morning, June!" Rey greeted, waving at the confused young mother energetically. "Great to see you up and about! You feeling better?"

"Um…yes." June took a step back, trying to see if there was another way around the clearly occupied lobby. (There wasn't.) "Dr. Mysterio, what's going on? Did I walk in on your lesson or…whatever it is you were doing? Because if I did, I'm really sorry."

"Don't worry, June!" RVD replied cheerfully, quickly catching onto the young mother's name. "We just started the class! Actually, your timing couldn't be better! I was just about to ask if anyone wanted to come up and help me and Rey-Rey for our first exercise—"

"OOOOH! PICK ME, PICK ME!" the women screamed, all clawing and stepping on one another in hopes that Rob Van Dam would pick them first.

"—and _you_ can be that lovely first volunteer!" RVD finished, grinning at June while simultaneously causing the rest of the women to sob and wail uncontrollably. "So please, come on up!"

"Yeah June! Come up here!" Rey grinned, gesturing for her to approach the stage. "Help us out, please?"

"Err…" June hesitated, stage fright and shyness suddenly making their way to the forefront of her psyche. She had never liked drawing attention to herself or going up in front of a crowd even as a child, and she certainly didn't like doing so now. But when Rey stared at her with those large, bright, hopeful eyes of his (which caused her to momentarily curse him and his baby-faced cuteness), she let out a soft sigh before cautiously approaching the stage.

She immediately regretted this a second later—the other women glared daggers at her as she passed by, and the poor young mother wondered if maybe she should have stayed home after all.

_Great. Just great. How did I get myself into this lovely mess?_

"Don't worry, _senora_!" Rey laughed, twisting his head around as June nervously tried to hide behind his body (which actually worked pretty well, seeing as she was even smaller than he was). "Dave won't mind as long as you're with me, I promise! Besides…" He paused, looking concerned. "I don't know why, but he's been in a bad mood all morning."

"Really?" June gave Rey a startled look. "Is he alright? Did something happen?"

"I have no idea. I tried asking him about it, but he just snapped at me and told me to leave him alone. I wouldn't go near him for at least another hour or so. Let him cool off from whatever's got him all worked up."

"Ah." The young mother bit her lip worriedly. "I see."

"I swear, he's going to kill me one day with those temper tantrums of his. Oh well." Rey sighed, shaking his head before he turned back to the crowds with a plastered grin. "Alright, now listen up, everyone! Rob Van Dam and I are here to teach you the beautiful art of self-defense! But just remember, self-defense allows the person being attacked to use _reasonable _force in their own defense and in the defense of others."

"That's right, Rey-Rey!" RVD agreed, nodding sagely. "A person can use physical force to prevent impending physical injury, but a person may _not _use deadly force unless that person is in, again, reasonable fear of either serious physical injury or death. You don't want to end up in jail on assault charges, do you? That kind of twists the purpose of this class."

The women laughed quietly. _No, no, of course not_, they murmured softly.

"Deadly physical force, however," Rey went on, "may be used if the person acting in self-defense is unable to retreat safely. That means that the person is unable to safely escape their attacker and get help. And since this class is only for today, Rob and I are going to be teaching you how to deal with _these _types of situations specifically. Are there any questions?"

When there were none, RVD turned to June, who was still attempting to disappear behind Rey's lithe frame. "Don't worry, little miss. Learning self-defense is good for you! It builds up your confidence, your self-respect, and keeps you in great shape! You'll be as beautiful and deadly as a—a little palm-sized mama bear!"

"Cute and tiny, but ferocious when provoked!" Rey agreed, gently drawing her out from behind him. "This exercise will be fun, I promise!"

"I—I don't know," June murmured uncertainly. But when Rey began to stare at her with pleading eyes again, she sighed and hung her head in defeat. "Fine! If you insist." The young mother allowed Rey to pull her towards one of the bound and gagged volunteers, who was struggling to get off the stage as June approached him. "Um, Dr. Mysterio, is that…" She trailed off, staring hard through the eyeholes in the helmet, before she shrieked in horror and scurried back a good five feet. "Dr. Mysterio! Is that Mr. Hawkins?! Why on earth is he—"

"Don't worry!" the Hispanic doctor said quickly, carelessly waving off June's concerns. "Curt and Zack _agreed_ to be our practice dummies for today! It was _completely _voluntary. Oh, and ignore whatever strange noises you may hear from them. The gag is there so that the other students aren't freaked out by the screams and shrieks of pain these two will be making in a few seconds. But it's all completely voluntary on their part, I assure you."

"…"

"…"

The blood slowly drained from June's face. "Now I _really _don't know about this."

"Just relax, June!" RVD said reassuringly. "All you have to do is pay attention to what I'm about to say next, and everything will be alright."

"O-okay."

Grabbing the whimpering Zack Ryder by the scuff of his neck, the actor dragged the poor boy to the very front of the class and pointed at the red bull's eyes that decorated Zack's body. "Now ladies, I'm sure you're all wondering why we've painted up our volunteer like this. Well, it just so happens that these bull's eyes happen to represent the target points of a nifty little self-defense trick, one that happens to be featured in the delightful movie, _Miss Congeniality._"

"Dawg, you watched _Miss Congeniality_?" Rey commented, snorting in amusement.

"Silence in the peanut gallery!" RVD growled loudly, before he cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his composure. "Anyway! What I'm talking about is the SING technique. S-I-N-G. These four letters represent four moves that can be lifesavers if you're ever in a pickle, especially if there isn't anyone around to help you. Let's start with 'S!' It stands for…Solar plexus!"

Without warning, the handsome actor suddenly drove his elbow sharply into Zack Ryder's chest, which resulted in the young man letting out a shrill, muffled scream. "MMMMMMMMMPPPH!"

"Hear that, ladies?" RVD exclaimed, as Zack crumpled to the floor and began to writhe in pain. "Just one well-placed hit to the plexus, and we might crack an assailant's ribs!"

"And that's just the first step," Rey remarked, turning his attention to the now sobbing Curt Hawkins. "The next letters are 'I' and 'N,' which stand for Instep and Nose!" In a flash, Rey dug his heel to the arch on the side of Curt's foot, before smacking the heel of his hand firmly against the front of the younger man's helmet. Rey didn't end up doing much damage thanks to the helmet, but when the Hispanic doctor suddenly slammed his knee viciously against Curt's groin, the poor man went down like a ton of bricks, screaming and wailing in such a high-pitched tone that it was clear to everyone in the lobby that he wasn't wearing a cup.

"And that last move, ladies," RVD said as he grinned wickedly at the two fallen Edgeheads, "represents the letter 'G.' Groin. As a man, I can unashamedly say that if you kick us in our little fellas, we _will _go down. We will go down _hard_."

"So please, use 'G' with caution," Rey advised, pointing at the crumpled, broken Curt. "Hitting too hard in that particular area might potentially kill a man. You have been warned." He then turned to June, who had been watching the whole thing with her mouth hanging open in shock and dismay. "So! Now that you've seen our demos…wanna give it a shot, _senora_? Get the funk out of your system after being sick for two days, and all?"

The young mother stared at the broken Curt and Zack in horror. "Dr. Mysterio, don't you think they've had enough? You're going to rob them of their ability to have children!"

"Not true!" RVD protested. "I mean, they might end up having _stupid _kids after being kicked in the nuts too many times, but they'll still be able to _have _kids. I think."

"Besides," Rey went on, "they're mindless zombie followers of Edge! I'm pretty sure their brains don't fire on all cylinders anyway, so don't pity them too much."

"Gee, I feel so much better now," June mumbled dryly, wincing as she saw Curt draw his knees to his chest. She downright cringed when RVD dragged the slightly less injured Zack Ryder to his feet, and shoved him in front of her.

"Okay, June!" The actor pointed to the red bull's eyes on Zack's body. "Remember—Solar plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin. Make him SING, sweetheart! And considering what 'G' stands for, I mean that literally."

"Um…right…" She blinked at Zack nervously, before awkwardly taking a weak fighting stance in front of him. Her stomach began twisting into knots when she saw his eyes tear up from behind his helmet, and she hesitated.

_I can't go through with this. I can't! Not when he's making a face like that! …maybe if I just go through the motions correctly but __**gently**__, Dr. Mysterio and Mr. Van Dam won't get too mad. Yeah, I think I'll go with that._

Putting on a brave face, June bent her arm and threw her elbow at Zack's midsection, stopping just before she actually hit his chest. Then, she copied Rey's instep, but only lightly tapped on Zack's helmet with the heel of her hand. When she lifted her knee to his groin, she halted her movements until her kneecap was just an inch away from his genitals. Finally, she stepped back, winking at Zack when he gave her a wide-eyed stare of both astonishment and gratitude.

…

…

She could practically feel the stunned eyes of every person in the lobby honing in on her. She could hear the confused whisperings of RVD as he asked Rey if she was being serious, or if she was just trying to be funny. But despite everyone's displeasure, she could also hear the muffled sobs of relief coming from Zack, and that was more than enough for her.

Honestly, Rey should have known better, seeing as he worked with her for a year at this point. She wasn't a fighter, she was a caretaker! Hurting others just wasn't in her, even if they did deserve it. It would probably take something extremely disastrous for her to cross the line of willfully inflicting physical harm on another person, and although she personally believed that Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder were idiots for idolizing Edge the way they did, she wasn't going to brutalize them just to get even.

Treating others horribly just because they treated _you _horribly…she hated that type of mentality. She never liked fighting fire with fire. If everyone did that, the world would burn and then she would become no better than the people she was trying to rise above.

Not that she was in any position to say that out loud, however.

Turning towards the dumbfounded Rey and RVD, June gave them a small smile and quietly bowed out, hopping off the stage even as Rey stammered for her not to go.

"J-June! June, wait—"

"What the hell, Rey?" RVD complained, glaring at his friend in disappointment. "She didn't make him SING at all! My decrepit grandfather could have hit this punk harder than she did!"

"Well, she's not normally a violent person, and I think we scared her…"

"This was supposed to build her confidence, not freak her out!"

"I know, and that's why I wanted her to do this! Hey June! June, come back!"

_Not listening, not listening, not listening! _Ignoring the pleas for her to return, the small, dark-haired woman quickly made her way towards the Research Task Force office. Slipping into the room, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it wearily, letting out a soft sigh.

"I'm too young to be this stressed," she groaned aloud, not realizing that there was another occupant in the room. June lowered her head and shut her eyes tightly. "My karma can't seriously be this bad, can it? What on earth did I do to deserve this?"

"Maybe it's not karma," a low, deep voice said quietly from the corner of the room. "Maybe you're just stuck in a really unlucky streak at the moment."

June immediately looked up, only to find herself staring straight into Dave's brown eyes. He was leaning casually against his desk, standing only a couple of feet away from her. His arms were folded in front of his chest and to an outsider, he would have appeared calm. But the way he was staring at her, along with the intensity of his gaze, completely unnerved her.

_Dr. Batista? What's going on? Why…why are you looking at me like that?_

"G-good morning, sir!" June stammered, grinning shakily at her employer. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"I noticed," Dave commented, his tone light and conversational. "It's not like you to not be on time, June. I knew you were coming in today, so I was worried." He gave her a feeble smile, but despite the mildness of his voice, the young mother caught a glimpse of _something_ in his eyes, something so pervasive and passionate and smoldering that for one brief moment, she completely forgot how to breathe.

"I…" June swallowed thickly, unconsciously pressing her back to the door. When did the room suddenly get so warm? "I…I got pulled into the self-defense class in the lobby. I ran in, and Dr. Mysterio caught me. He coerced me into volunteering."

"Really?" The corner of Dave's mouth lifted into a half-smirk. "That's the old Mysterio charm for you. Did you kick anyone's ass? I would have liked to see that."

"Absolutely not!" June laughed nervously, feeling the heat rush into her cheeks. "I was supposed to kick Zack Ryder in his genitals, but I couldn't do it. Rob Van Dam already elbowed him in the ribs, and I'm pretty sure the rest of the class is going to beat the stuffing out of poor Mr. Ryder and Mr. Hawkins. I couldn't add to their pain and suffering."

The large doctor stared at her for a second, his brown eyes filled with surprise, before he lowered his gaze and laughed softly. At the same time, June released the breath she didn't realize she had been hold holding—the strange fire in Dave's eyes had quelled, and the uneasy, peculiar tension the young mother felt between them dissipated. "You're a saint, you know that?" Dave finally said, still chuckling as he looked back up at June with a wide grin. "Anyone else who knows those two would have relished the chance to kick them in the balls."

"I don't think Mr. Copeland would. And maybe not Miss Vickie or Mr. Chavo either," June countered playfully. "Dr. Mysterio was a little shocked that I didn't go through with it. I guess I'm just not a very confident person when it comes to things like that."

"It has nothing to do with confidence. You're just very gentle and kindhearted," Dave replied, pushing himself off his desk as he made his way towards June. Closing the distance between them until he was only a few inches away from her, he caught a glimpse of the faint pink hue blossoming in her cheeks, and felt a smile play with the corners of his mouth. "To be honest, I would have been more surprised if you had actually gone through with it. I can't imagine you _swearing _at someone, let alone beating them into a bloody pulp."

"Hey! You're making me sound as if I'm some defenseless stuffed animal!" Forcefully shoving her shyness to the side, June puffed her chest out and gave the large doctor the most intimidating stare she could muster up. (Unfortunately for June, this resulted in her looking about as intimidating as a fluffy baby bunny rabbit, and it took every bit of self-control Dave had not to burst out laughing right then and there.) "I'll have you know that Dr. Mysterio and Mr. Van Dam said I was a Palmtop Bear! I may look small, but I'm actually quite formidable!"

"Oh, I agree!" Dave said quickly, holding his hands up in a pacifying gesture. "You _are _a bear! A cute little _teddy _bear, to be precise."

"You…you…!" Her face now a hilarious cherry red, June flailed indignantly for several seconds, trying to come up with a clever retort. But before her mind could create with a single witty comeback (where oh where was John Cena when you needed him?), out of nowhere, all the lights went out and the room was suddenly shrouded in darkness.

The young mother blinked for several seconds, her eyes attempting to adjust to the sudden decrease in visibility. The only source of light now was the sunlight coming in from the windows, and as it was currently very, _very_ cloudy outside, it did little to improve her impaired vision.

_Well. That was unexpected._

"Uh-oh." Dave quickly reached for the light switch, flipping it back and forth to no avail. "Damn. The bulbs must have burned out. "

"Do we have any spares, sir?" June asked, walking over to the windows and pulling the blinds up, only to pout when she realized that the skies were only growing greyer and stormier by the second. "I think we can replace them if we do."

Dave frowned. "I saw some old ones in the closet, but don't break your back trying to change the lights. I'll call a custodian. It's Finlay and Hornswoggle's job to make sure things like this didn't happen in the first place…what are we even paying them for?!"

"Don't get mad," the dark-haired woman replied gently, marching over to the closet and pulling out the extra bulbs. "We're perfectly capable of handling this by ourselves! A doctor and his medical assistant should have more than enough combined brainpower to overcome the simple challenge of changing a light bulb!"

Before Dave could protest, June handed him the spare bulbs before hauling herself onto the top of the conference table, slowly standing up on shaky legs. "June, be careful!" he said, worry creeping into his voice as he anxiously hovered below her. "Do your legs hurt? I don't want you to fall! You know what, I should do this. Come down and I'll—"

"Dr. Batista, you're three hundred pounds," she stated flatly, giving him a deadpanned stare. "You're a very _heavy_ man, and this is a very _light_ table. You'll demolish the poor, innocent piece of furniture the minute you climb on top of it."

"I will not! And I am _not _three hundred pounds! I'm two hundred and ninety-five! That's _completely_ different!"

"…"

"It _is_!"

June smiled triumphantly, but said nothing. Instead, she simply held out a hand, gesturing for him to pass the light bulbs towards her.

"Alright, fine!" Dave muttered grumpily. "Go ahead and change the lights. But if you trip, fall, and break your neck on impact, I'm not even going to bother trying to save you!"

"Didn't you promise to always look out for my wellbeing, sir?" June feigned deep hurt and gave him with the biggest puppy dog eyes she had in her arsenal. Dave's reaction was instantaneous—he began to stammer and fidget horribly, backtracking on his words and apologizing so profusely that June couldn't help but giggle. Seeing such a large man get flustered over something so minute was endearing and adorable in her eyes.

Returning her attention to the ceiling, she stood on the very tips of her toes as she removed the faulty bulb and twisted the new one in its place. This took a bit more effort than she anticipated, however. She was a woman of short stature, and even with the support of the table, the ceiling was still _quite _high. "Architects are always biased against short people," she grumbled to herself. "No consideration at all for people who are only five-foot-four."

"They're not being biased," Dave replied, once again calm and composed. "Maybe the table's too low."

"True. It is pretty small…"

"Then again, you're small too."

"Hey!" The young mother glared at her employer. "You're being awfully mean today! Is something the matter, Dr. Batista? Actually…" She thought back to her conversation with Rey in the lobby, and her lips slowly pulled into a small frown when she remembered the Hispanic doctor's words about Dave. "Dr. Mysterio told me something interesting earlier. He said you were in a bad mood all morning, and that you snapped at him when he tried to pry."

"What?" Dave felt a muscle work in his jaw. Damn that Rey and his loose lips… "I _was_ in a bad mood," he said carefully, staring down at the floor. "But it was nothing. I feel better now."

"Are you sure? You didn't really seem yourself when I came in."

"I…" Dave paused. Truth be told, he had been livid since the evening prior, when he saw her with those three idiot men. His anger had carried over into his home, where his daughter wouldn't come within a ten-foot radius of him due to his obvious fury. During the morning, when he came into work, he had still been irate when Rey asked him what was wrong. He had been fuming when June came into the office, and if she hadn't lightened the mood with her everlasting innocence, he would probably still be fuming now.

Oh, who was he kidding? He would probably start seething again the moment she left his presence. His anger and confusion over her three male companions wasn't going to go away if he didn't get to the bottom of this, and the only way to do that was to talk to her about it.

…

…_yeah, right. As if it was that easy._

Looking up into her curious brown eyes, the large doctor swallowed nervously before he finally spoke. "June, I need to ask you something. Don't…don't take this the wrong way, okay?"

"Sure." Twisting the new bulb into place, June grabbed another one while staring questioningly at her employer. "What is it?"

"Well…" Dave rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, wishing he was articulate now more than ever. "You know, after we spoke on the phone yesterday, I was still worried. I mean, we didn't really get a chance to finish our talk, thanks to that joke of a man who calls himself Chris Jericho."

June winced. "Yes, I remember. Um, Mr. Jericho didn't hurt you during your fight, did he?"

"Ha!" Dave chuckled deeply. "My legs are a bit sore, but it's nothing to worry about. That black eye I gave him isn't going to go away anytime soon, so I think we're even."

"You men and your inane love for violence," June mused dryly. "I'll never understand it! My friends, Randy and John, are exactly the same way! Jeff tries to be more discreet about it, but he enjoys the roughhousing just as much as they do!"

"Right." At the mention of Randy, Jeff, and John, Dave couldn't help but clench his jaw. "Actually June, that's what I wanted to talk about. Your…_friends_."

"My friends?" The young mother blinked owlishly, unsure of how to respond. "What about my friends? Did something happen to them?"

"No, no! It's just…well, I came by your house last night, and—"

"You came by my apartment?" June interrupted, her eyes going wide. "Oh no! What time did you stop by? You should have knocked on my door! I would have invited you in for dinner, or for coffee at the very least!"

"I was going to," he admitted, feeling a corner of his mouth lift slightly at her gentle rambling. "But then I saw you with those three men, and…well, it felt sort of strange. To just pop up in front of you, I mean."

"It did?" June titled her head to the side curiously. "Why? I'm sure the boys wouldn't have minded another seat at the table. In fact, I would have glared at them until they let you stay. They're always so suspicious and overprotective whenever I make a new friend! It's ridiculous!"

"A-are you living with them?" Dave blurted out, not liking what he was hearing at all. "Are you—are they—are they more than friends to you?"

There was a long, heavy pause.

June lightly tapped her fingers against her ears and shook her head. "I'm sorry sir, I must have hallucinated. I could have sworn you just asked me if I was involved romantically with my three best friends."

"June!" Dave bit the inside of his cheek furiously, trying not to have a mental breakdown. "I'm being serious! Do you know how strange it looked to me? I mean, seeing you laugh and hug three other guys…what's a person supposed to think?"

June groaned loudly and slapped a hand against her forehead. "Now you sound just like Miss Lita! Honestly, they're my roommates! And I told you before; I knew them since they were in diapers! They're practically the brothers I never had! "

"R-really?" Dave heard the tremor in his voice, and mentally kicked himself for sounding so vulnerable. "That's…that's really all they are to you, right? Brothers?"

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" June planted her hands on her hips and gave Dave a frustrated scowl. Using the height of the table to tower over the so-called Animal gave her a strange feeling of power, and she briefly wondered if maybe she should stand on something the next time she had an argument with Randy. "I'm living with them because I'm not comfortable living by myself anymore, and there's no one I trust more with my daughter than those three. Being their roommate seemed like the perfect idea at the time, considering—" she paused for a second, mentally forcing the memory of Santino out of her mind "—considering that I was in a pretty rough patch during my pregnancy with Jamie."

"Really?" Dave's brow rose inquisitively, silently enquiring for her to continue, but June shook her head.

"It was nothing, sir," June stated quietly, directing all of her focus on screwing in the light bulb over her head. "It was a situation that was resolved quickly. And the end result was me moving in with the three because…well, because I wanted to feel safe."

"Safe." Dave repeated the word softly, silently wrapping his head around her explanation. "You feel safe with them. I see."

"I know it sounds strange, but it's true. I trust them completely." She then paused, and threw Dave a curious look. "Is it that strange, Dr. Batista? A woman living with three men the way I do with my friends? My friend, Lita, told me it was very strange, but I sort of brushed her off. If it's really that peculiar, though…"

"I'm not going to lie. It is a little unusual," Dave admitted, wincing when he saw June's face fall. "But if you're comfortable with that arrangement, then just stick with it for now. It's not my place or anyone else's to tell you how to live your life."

"R-right!" The young mother perked up and grinned. "People always jump to the most awful conclusion, you know? As if Randy, Jeff, and John would ever do anything inappropriate towards me!" She made a face and stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Ugh, I get nauseous just _thinking _about them in that light! It's like being romantic with a family member! It's gross!"

"You're funny," Dave said, laughing despite his apprehension. "Well, it's a relief to know you're in, err, _capable _hands. I just hope you'll consider how this may appear to any…future romantic prospects."

June blushed and gave Dave a shy smile. "I suppose you're right, but…well, my current romantic interest now knows about my friendship with the boys, so I don't think it'll be that much of a problem. He's a very kind and understanding man, and he didn't get too upset once I explained the situation to him."

"Wait, what?" Dave stared up at June in a mixture of surprise and alarm. "You're dating someone? Who is he? I didn't know you were seeing anyone!"

"He doesn't know that I like him yet," June explained quickly, seeing that Dave was becoming excited again. "I'm too bashful to actually come out and admit it."

"Oh." The large doctor immediately calmed down, and he coughed quickly to compose himself. "Oh. He doesn't know." He looked up and gave June a snarky grin. "In that case, you shouldn't waste your time on him. He's an idiot if he hasn't shown any interest in you by now."

"I wouldn't say he's an idiot!" June protested, fidgeting slightly under his stare. "I don't see how a man of his stature would even be interested in me. He's big and strong, he's gentle and kindhearted, and he's someone I hold close to my heart. I don't think I could bear it if he didn't hold the same feelings for me. If he gave me some sort of hint that he might actually return my feelings, I would have the courage to…"

She trailed off and gave Dave a hopeful stare. Maybe he would see through her words? They weren't that vague, and a man as clever as he was could decipher what she was trying to tell him…couldn't he?

…

Unless he honestly didn't have any feelings towards her.

June sighed when she saw the look of cluelessness on his face. "Oh well. Never mind, sir." Her cheeks now burning with embarrassment, she twisted the last bulb into the ceiling and stood back, not realizing how close she already was to the edge. "Okay! That should do it! I think—OH!"

It happened so quickly that she wasn't even aware that she had slipped off the table until it was too late. She felt her heart freeze in her chest as her body fell backwards, and the room became a complete blur as she shut her eyes and waited for the impact of her skull cracking against the floor.

_Dave is not going to save you, he said so himself, you're going to die but at least you won't have to face Hunter anymore—_

And then, just as quickly, a pair of thick, strong arms folded around her, catching her as if she were no heavier than a small child.

She opened her eyes slowly, not even daring to breathe due to the sudden shock that was coursing through her system. Looking up ever so slightly, June found herself staring straight into Dave's worried brown eyes. Their faces were closer than she thought, only inches apart, and he was staring at her with such intensity that it sent a strange shiver up her spine.

She could feel his breath on her cheek, warm and damp, as well as the beat of his heart through his shirt. She couldn't move. She felt as if his eyes had turned her to stone and that she would be forced to stay like this, staring at him for eternity. June felt her heartbeat slow to a dull thud, and when Dave spoke, his voice sounded distant, distorted, as if he was speaking to her through glass walls.

"June. Are you alright?" She watched his lips move, his perfect, beautiful lips, and all she could do was nod. "I told you to be careful, didn't I?" Dave went on, his voice soft and quiet as he continued to hold her tightly to his body. "You could have hurt yourself. You're lucky I was standing right under you."

"I…" The dark-haired woman held her breath, her mind telling her that this was in no way appropriate, and that she should move away right now. But the heat radiating from Dave's skin was overwhelming, contrasting with his surprisingly mild grip on her. His face was close, so _close_, and for a second June just wanted to lean her face towards his, consequences be damned. "I…I just…"

"I hate to interrupt this moment you two seem to be having, but it must be done." Rey's voice broke through the two of them like a hammer smashing through glass. With their hearts pounding and their blood still roaring around their ears, Dave quickly lowered June to the floor, and she hurriedly moved away from him, dusting herself off as she stared hard at the ceiling above.

_Oh god, oh god, he saw me in Dr. Batista's arms, oh god, oh god, he must think I'm sort of shameless hussy now…_

"Rey," Dave said, his voice suddenly hard and harsh, "didn't your mother ever teach you to _knock _before you enter a goddamn room?"

Rey snorted and folded his arms over his chest. June noticed that his sweats were torn and ripped in several places, and that there were scratches all over his arms. He was also holding a yellow umbrella in one of his hands, a yellow umbrella that looked suspiciously like the one she owned… "Holmes, are you seriously going to lecture me about this? Especially considering that I'm rooting for you to work up the courage to finally confess your feelings for—"

"Shut up!" the large doctor yelled, frantically motioning Rey to stop talking. "There is no need to discuss this right now!"

"So I'm guessing you're nowhere near ready to tell her yet. Fine."

"Dr. Batista," June asked curiously, "what's he talking about?"

"It's nothing! Honestly, don't worry about it June! And Rey, you were just leaving, weren't you?"

"But I just got here," Rey protested, pouting. "And I need a drink. RVD's workouts are mentally traumatic, and I may have been scarred for life by what the crowds tried to do to us. Well, tried to do _me. _I don't know if Rob managed to get away…"

"What happened? Don't tell me the women finally decided to just jump him and have their way with him right in the middle of the lobby," Dave joked, his lips pulled into a tense smile.

"…"

"…that's not what's happening out there, right Rey? You wouldn't leave him to be torn apart by crazed, horny women…right?"

"…it was either him or me, man. I have a pregnant wife and two kids to go home to, and he doesn't."

"Oh my god." His face becoming a sickening shade of green, Dave quickly ran towards the lobby, yelling for security to come and assist him immediately. "Bring bear mace!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the hallway. "We have a serious situation here!"

"Well, that problem seems to have sorted itself out!" Rey said cheerfully, plopping down on a nearby chair as he leaned back with a sigh. He then looked up to see June glaring at him in disapproval, and he found himself squirming under her fierce stare. "Oh, come on, _senora_! You saw how crazy those women were out there! I really did try to get him out!"

June didn't respond.

"And to be honest, when he took his shirt off, I knew it was gonna turn bad. You don't strip in front of horny women and expect them NOT to try something! Not that I'm saying he deserved it or anything, but his teasing them certainly didn't help!"

June didn't respond. Instead, her glare grew ten times more fiery, which resulted in Rey throwing his arms in the air in defeat.

"Alright, fine! I'll go help Dave…" Sulking like a chastised child, the Hispanic doctor forced himself to his feet, groaning when his back cracked unpleasantly. "Just so you know, _senora_, if I die, you owe a _huge_ explanation to Angie, Dominik, and Aalyah about why their Papi isn't ever coming home again!"

"Yes, yes, I understand, Rey." Smirking, June pushed him out the door, but Rey suddenly dug in his heels and spun around to face her.

"I almost forgot, June! I have something for you!" He pressed the yellow umbrella he was holding into her hands, grinning when June blinked at him in astonishment. "A friend of yours dropped it off. Tall guy, all muscles, buzz cut…"

"John!" June exclaimed happily, and she tried to peek over Rey's shoulder to see if the young detective was in the hallway.

He wasn't.

_Oh poop. He should have stopped by and said hello to me, at the very least…_

"He was actually standing outside the office five minutes ago," Rey said, seeing the look of disappointment on the young mother's face. "He was peeping through a crack in the door. I was about to bust his head in for spying on you and Dave like that, but he said he knew you and wanted me to give the umbrella to you." Rey stopped, his brow suddenly furrowed in thought. "Come to think of it, he does look disturbingly familiar…"

"You might remember him from when I went into labor," June replied helpfully, her hands tightening around the umbrella. "He, um…he claimed to be Jamie's father just so he could get into the delivery room…"

"Oh yeah! _Pendejo _Number One. I don't really wanna remember him."

"Don't say that," June scolded lightly. "He came all this way just to deliver an umbrella for me! And I was worried about it raining too, so it's a very kind gesture on his part! John's such a sweetheart…"

"Pfft! I doubt it. He looks like a punk to me." Rey snorted aloud, before he rolled up his torn sleeves and pointed heroically towards the lobby. "Alright, June! Wish me luck! The two knights of the Research Task Force Team are heading into the fray to save Rob Van Dam!"

"They should make a movie out of this!" June laughed.

"Absolutely! Remember through, if I die…"

"I play the unfortunate messenger girl. I know!"

"And that's why I love you, June."

"Flatterer. Stop stalling and go save Dr. Batista and Mr. Van Dam, already!"

* * *

John stumbled through the streets, unable to come to terms with what he had just seen.

June and—that guy, that _Batista _guy—they were—she was in his arms—their faces were so close together—

Oh god, he wanted to throw up.

Leaning against the wall of a nearby building, the young detective choked down the bile that was rising from the back of his throat. No. No, this couldn't be right. Maybe he had misinterpreted what he had seen. There had to be a perfectly logical explanation as to why June was in Batista's arms like that, being carried around like a new bride on her wedding day.

But he couldn't think of one. Especially considering that June hadn't exactly made any attempts to move _away _from that oversized brute of a man.

It had been a year, but John recognized who that man was. That asshole doctor who had thrown him, Jeff, and Randy out of the hospital the day after Jamie was born. John swore loudly and punched the wall with every bit of strength he had, not caring that the returning force almost broke his hand.

Of all the men in the world, why him? Why _that _man?!

_I should have marched in there and kicked his ass for touching Junie like that! Fucking asshole's probably corrupting her innocent, pure mind! I oughta—I oughta—_

Who was he kidding? He had no idea what he ought to have done. June didn't seem to have been forced into that position, and neither she nor Batista looked particularly unhappy with the situation. Maybe he should discuss this with Jeff and Randy, and—

_Randy._ John frowned, thinking back to what the Legend Killer had said to him one year ago. How he had immediately thought that June was attracted to Batista, and that she was literally throwing herself into the doctor's arms. John had doubted Randy before, believing him to be full of bullshit, but now…seeing her in that bastard's arms again, seeing that June and Batista were working in the same department, a fact that she conveniently left out for a whole _year_…

By god, what the fuck was he supposed to think?

The young detective groaned and ran a hand hard over his face. No. He wasn't going to lose his temper. Not when he didn't have all the facts yet. He was going to get through work, go home, wait for June to return, and then, after she had settled down, he would pull her into his room for a private discussion about what he had seen, and get the story from her own lips.

Yes. That was what he would do. He wasn't like Randy. He was going to go through this logically, with as cool a head as he could muster up.

* * *

**A/N: Here it is, folks! Some romance (sort of). I know I'm going to be burned at the stake because it was with Dave and not one of our three potential daddies (namely Randy, if I'm understanding the fan base correctly) …but it's still technically romance, right? **

**Unfortunately, due to some very stressful situations at work, I never had much time during the past two weeks to write. In fact, I think the stress and workload will only get WORSE until Christmas. But since it's been two weeks since my last update, I'm splitting the chapter again, and the "Caterpillar Mushroom" will have to be extended to a third part. **

**Ahem! New poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 28 votes **

**John Cena: 14 votes (I actually prefer John over Randy, to be honest. He was the only one willing to man up at the very beginning of Junie's pregnancy! But the crowd has spoken…or has it? Hahaha…)**

**Jeff Hardy: 13 votes**

**Have Them All: 11 votes **

**Dave Batista: 4 votes**

**Todd Grisham: 1 vote**

**Live for Herself and Jamie: 1 vote**


	36. Legend of the Caterpillar Mushroom, Pt3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-Six: Legend of the Caterpillar Mushroom, Part Three**

_Sometimes mommy makes me worry so much._

_I don't know what it is. I don't know why she thinks about the caterpillar mushroom. For her, it's…it's as if she thinks __**she's**__ the caterpillar in the story, and that she'll turn into a ugly mushroom instead of becoming a beautiful butterfly. She's afraid that she's sucking the life out of other people just so she could be happy, that that in the end, she'll end up as nothing. _

_Which is, by far, the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! The mushrooms themselves have to suck the life out of another living thing in order to survive. It's gross! It's a parasite! And it kills the caterpillar. A mushroom is a murdering thing, and mommy is definitely not a murdering thing. She is not, nor will she ever be, the caterpillar that died from a mushroom._

_But she's so worried all the time. She's worried that she'll never be enough for me. She's worried that she's being a burden on my daddies, when in reality I don't think __**we **__could survive without __**her**__._

_I don't want her to feel so low about herself. She's already a beautiful butterfly to me and my daddies._

* * *

"Mr. Austin, Cena's been sitting in the conference room, glaring at that whiteboard ever since he came in. That was _four_ _hours_ ago."

"Do you think I'm blind, Rhodes? Do you think I haven't noticed? I swear, if that idiot didn't twitch every couple of seconds, I would've assumed he died standing up or something!"

"What the hell is he doing, anyway? He never uses the whiteboard for his cases!"

"I don't know, but from what he's writing, I doubt it's about a real perp…"

As Steve Austin and Cody Rhodes bickered back and forth about the obviously decaying state of John Cena's mental stability, the detective in question merely stared at the whiteboard, his eyes glued to the long list of notes he had scrawled several hours prior.

_1) Completely Innocent Victim: June Grisham._

_2) Suspicious Person of Interest: Some stupid asshole meatheaded doctor called Batista. Will hereby be dubbed "Douchebag," in all future references. _

_3) Victim was found in Douchebag's arms, being held bridal style._

_4) Victim was not struggling or making any effort to dislodge herself from Douchebag's grip. Was the victim paralyzed? If so, drugging or mind control on suspect's part possible. _

_5) Both victim and Douchebag were staring at one another, with Douchebag whispering something to his clearly immobile captive. Was the suspect threatening the victim?_

"There's got to be an explanation," he muttered to himself. "There's got to be an explanation for what I saw. Junie can't be into a bastard like that…she _can't_ be…"

"Oh god." Steve slapped a hand against his forehead. "He's gone nuts over June again. I should have known."

"Wait, he's writing about June? Is she in trouble?" Cody peered at the whiteboard worriedly, only to have his face fall sharply when he saw John's ridiculous observations. "Drugs? Mind control? _Douchebag_? Are you serious, Cena?"

"SHUT UP, CODY!" John shrieked, a muscle working frantically in his jaw as he tried his hardest to ignore his increasingly loud coworkers. "Can't you see that I'm trying to deal with something important? I've got to go about this logically and professionally, otherwise I'll screw everything up past the point of no return!"

A loud snort sounded from the background, and the young detective had to suppress a groan when the sarcastic overtones of Mike Mizanin's voice floated into the conference room. "Cena's actually trying to be _serious_?" Miz asked obnoxiously, entering the room with Ted DiBiase as he threw a quick glance at the whiteboard. "That's a joke if I ever heard one. Is the world ending or something? Because if the Apocalypse really is approaching, I'd like to take some time off to prepare for my final days."

"Miz, piss off before I shove this marker straight up your un-awesome nose!" John snapped, brandishing the whiteboard marker in front of him like a sword. "I'll do it! Don't think I won't!"

"You touch me with that filth and I'll throw this scalding hot coffee right into your eyes!" Miz shouted back, getting ready to chuck his mug directly at his partner's head. "I'll make Ted throw his too, just you watch!"

Ted choked on his drink mid-sip, and gave the Miz a highly annoyed glare. "Man, leave me out of this! You know I hate getting involved in Cena's bullshit!"

"Zip it, DiBiase!" John snarled, now pointing the marker in Ted's direction. "You _always _get involved in my bullshit, and I won't hesitate to take you out too if you get in my way! Come and get some if you want some!"

"Cena, I've _never _wanted some! I've been telling you that for over a year, so stop telling me to get some! It's freaking annoying!"

"Why you…!"

Steve sighed and rolled his eyes at the sight of his men squabbling with one another like prepubescent children. "Oh yeah. You're definitely staying logical and professional throughout all this, Cena. Logicality and professionalism are practically oozing out of your pores."

"Shut up! Just what do you guys _want_?" John growled, still holding Ted and Miz at marker-point while glaring angrily at his fellow officers. "Stop ganging up on me and leave me alone! I'm trying to determine if the love of my life is sneaking around with another man, and all of these constant interruptions aren't helping me in the slightest!"

"WHAT?!" The jaws of all four officers simultaneously hit the floor, the men gaping at John in disbelief before Ted's face broke out into a wide grin. "Alright, Cena! So you finally grew a pair and confessed your creepy, obsessive love to June? Good for you, man!"

"It's about fucking time!" Steve agreed boisterously, slapping John hard on the back. "You've been chasing after that girl for _years_! Shame about her not being faithful to you in return, but let's not get our balls in a twist over a dumb little detail like that! Want me to buy you a beer?"

"It's not even noon, Austin!" John snapped, his hands clenched so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. "And she's not cheating on me! We're not technically together…and she doesn't really know about how I truly feel about her…but that is _not_ the point! The point is, she's been keeping her relationship with this asshole a secret from me for over a year, and I want to know why!"

A strained, heavy silence fell between the five men as a tense air began to fill the room. Cody and Ted stared at John with a completely flabbergasted look, while Steve and Miz exchanged raised brows. "Cena, let me get this straight," Miz began, his tone tentative and slow. "You've been standing in this conference room for over four hours…writing notes that seem more like the obsessive musings of an insane stalker…all because a woman—who doesn't even _know_ that you like her—may be interested in another guy?"

"…"

"…"

"You know, _everything_ sounds bad when you phase it in pointy, hateful words like that," John retorted flatly.

"Cena, you're a fucking idiot," Steve grunted, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe I wasted thirty minutes of my life defending your bloated ass to Prosecutor Johnson yesterday! Get the hell out of this room and get back to work! The Pogo Bank Robber isn't going to catch himself, you know!"

"Just give me ten more minutes, Austin!" John pleaded. "This is bigger than some stupid bank robber who somehow manages to instill fear into the hearts of civilians with a mere pogo stick! This is the woman I'd conquer the world for if she asked me to! I need to know if she's in love with this guy or not, that way I know how to react properly if she is!"

"For the love of god…" Miz groaned loudly. "Alright, Cena! I can't believe I'm saying this, but for the sake of June and that cute baby of hers, I'm gonna help you out."

John blinked, not quite sure if he heard his so-called partner correctly. "You—you will?"

"Yeah, I will. I already regret offering my divine assistance, but I think it would help everyone's sanity if we resolved this right here and now."

"Thanks, Mike!" The young detective's face broke out into a huge grin at his partner's statement. "I was totally wrong about you! You're not such a scum sucking brownnoser after all!"

"Yeah sure, I…wait, what?"

"And by the way," John went on, still grinning as Miz's face slowly morphed into an interesting shade of puce, "if you hear a rumor about your mother copulating with barnyard animals in the future…I just wanna let you know that Cody's the one who started it."

"WHAT?!" Miz and Cody's jaws hit the floor in shock, before the young forensic technician started flailing and stammering up a storm. "Cena, you son-of-a-bitch! Take that back! I never once said anything about Mike's mother and barnyard animals—eep!"

Cody yelped in horror as the Miz suddenly grabbed him by the collar and dragged him closer until their faces were only inches apart. "I think you're trying to start something here, Baby Rhodes," Miz growled, his fingers digging into the younger man's shirt as if they were claws. "You got a problem with my mother? You got something to say to me?"

"N-no! Mike, I'm telling you that John's lying—"

"I'm not lying," John said innocently, twiddling his thumbs at the increasingly chaotic scene he created. "I'm being one hundred percent, honest-to-goodness truthful. Miz, I swear to god that Cody totally threw your poor, innocent mother under the bus. Man, he talked _so _much shit about bestiality and sodomy whenever she came up…"

"Cena, I'm going to fucking strangle you!" Cody shrieked, straining to pull himself out of Miz's vice-like grip as he swiped in vain at John's head. "Mr. Austin! Ted! Say something! For the love of god, say something before I end up in the morgue!"

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Steve grumbled, running a hand over his face while completely ignoring the terrified being that was Cody Rhodes. "I need to transfer out. Maybe retire to Hawaii. Yeah, Hawaii sounds good…"

"Man, do I _have_ to step in?" Ted whined, taking a sip from his now lukewarm cup of coffee. "I really want to finish this drink! It's getting cold, and you know how much I hate cold coffee."

"DAMN YOU, TED! I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT MY WELL-BEING!"

"AND I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY STUPID SHIT LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC, RHODES! WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING!"

Just then, the Miz's face suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree, and he dropped Cody like a sack of moldy potatoes. ("OW!" Cody squeaked, rubbing his sore bottom. "That hurt, you asshole!") "I got it!" Miz cried out, his eyes darting from Cody to Ted and back to Cody again. "It's obvious that you two Pickle Thieves have some sort of weird gay thing for one another—"

"We do _not_ have some weird gay thing for one another!" Ted yelled, while Cody simultaneously cried out, "What the hell is a pickle thief anyway?!" Miz simply raised a hand in response and shushed them loudly.

"Silence, lab peons! Look, you want Cena to shut up about June and get on with his life, right?"

"…yeah."

"…definitely."

"More than anything in the goddamn world."

"No one asked for your opinion, Steve!" John shouted.

"Anyway," Miz went on, "I have the solution. Now, everyone knows that two people who are truly, absolutely, sickeningly in love can't resist giving each other a certain look that makes everyone around them want to puke their guts out."

Steve raised a curious brow. "Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?"

"Yes, sir." Miz nodded sagely. "I'm talking about _Bedroom Eyes_."

"Bedroom Eyes?" John blinked owlishly at his partner, confusion etched all over his face. "What the hell are Bedroom Eyes?"

"I'm surprised you don't know the phrase," Miz replied dryly. "You give June that oh-so particular look every chance you get. By god, back at the party, I thought I was going to vomit all over Steve with the way you kept drooling at her."

"He came pretty damn close too," Steve commented, crinkling his face in disgust.

"Ha ha, motherfuckers," the young detective retorted scathingly. "Just tell me what Bedroom Eyes are, already!"

"Right, right. Hey, tech geeks—" Miz turned to Cody and Ted with an evil smirk "—make with the lovey-dovey eyes! Show Johnny boy here exactly what two bitches in heat look like."

"…"

"…"

"I'm leaving," Ted mumbled, tossing the remnants of his coffee into the trash. "Austin, my resignation letter will be on your desk in fifteen minutes. Cody, if you want to follow my lead, I'll be in the lab, cleaning out my desk."

"I'll get the boxes," Cody agreed, already heading out the door when Miz grabbed the two forensic technicians by the scruff of their necks and dragged them back into the room.

"Stop being dramatic, Fairy Queens!" he barked, giving both Cody and Ted a good, hard shake that almost separated their heads from their shoulders. "We all know that you two have the hots for each other, so there's no reason to be shy about it anymore! It's the twenty-first century; no one's going to judge you!"

"I do _not _have the hots for Rhodes!" Ted shrieked, utterly mortified. "What the hell is wrong with you? I'm _married _and I have an infant son!"

John cocked his head to the side. "So you're married to Rhodes and you two adopted a little boy?"

"They must have been inspired by little Jamie during her birthday party," Steve mused, grinning.

"He's married to a _woman_!" Cody screamed, his eyes practically bulging out of his head at this point. "And I happen to be engaged, you pricks! Oh, and before you three come up with another homosexual suggestion about me and Ted, my fiancée is a woman too, so don't even start!"

"…"

"…"

Miz pointed two fingers at his eyes, before jabbing them at Cody and Ted. "Bedroom eyes. Make with them. _Now_."

Cody groaned and wrung his hair in his hands. "I can't believe this. You're all out of your fucking minds—"

"Let's just do it." Ted said suddenly.

"What?!" Stunned eyes abruptly turned to the young forensic technician, and the rest of the four men stared at Ted with their jaws hanging open. "Pardon me?" Cody said slowly, not quite sure if he had heard correctly. "I'm sorry, I must be going deaf. Did I just hear you agreeing to Miz's stupid request?"

"It isn't stupid!" Miz yelled, insulted.

But Ted merely sighed and hung his head, nodding slightly under Cody's fierce stare. "Yeah," he mumbled. "I did agree. But before you freak out again, I really think we should just do this."

"_Why?_"

"Because if we don't, then these two assholes—" Ted jerked his thumb towards Miz and John, who nonchalantly flipped them off in return "—will never leave us alone for the rest of the century. Besides, it's not like they're asking us to kiss or anything like that."

"Well, _yeah_, but…" Cody fidgeted uncomfortably. "It's bad enough that people think we're gay! This will pretty much cement whatever sick thoughts they have in their head!"

"Their sick thoughts were pretty much cemented anyway," Ted retorted testily. "Let's just stare at each other and get it over with! I wanna get out of here and get back to the lab where people are actually sane!"

"But—but I—" Cody hesitated for only a second longer, before his shoulders dropped and his head hung in defeat. "Oh, alright! But if this gets weird, I'm walking out the door."

"Fine by me."

Cody chewed hard on his lower lip, swallowing audibly. Then, in one, painstakingly slow movement, he raised his blue eyes until they cautiously met Ted's own unhappy gaze.

At first, there was nothing. Only the sight of two young men staring awkwardly at one another, both clearly wishing they were anywhere but here. But then, slowly but surely, Cody's countenance began to change. The expression in his eyes shifted from anxious to sultry, gazing at Ted an almost adoringly—but there was a dark, lustful ring around the edges. On his part, Ted looked like he was drowning under that gaze, and John, Miz, and Steve all looked on in horrified fascination as the young lab technician grasped the table behind him, appearing as if he was just looking for something to hold onto in order to keep himself stable.

Throughout this strangely homoerotic display, there was a niggling feeling in the back of John's mind, a feeling that he had seen this somewhere before. He stared harder at Cody and Ted, wondering why this seemed so familiar…

…and then he paled in horror, recalling the fact that Dave Batista had stared at June with the exact same look that Cody had on his face, while June looked as helpless and captivated as Ted did right now.

_No. No, no, no, no, no, this can't be…_

"Oh my fucking god," John whispered, feeling the contents of his stomach shift unpleasantly as both Steve and Miz loudly told the two lab techs to break it up before the entire precinct puked their brains out. "It's true. She's in love with that fucking douchebag. It's true…"

* * *

Throughout her thirty-one years of life, June Mia Grisham was never one to talk about her problems.

It had always been easier (and safer) for her to evade the snags in her life, to change the subject and let the situation resolve itself. That didn't mean she eluded her conflicts altogether, though. While she firmly tried to avoid messy disagreements whenever she could, there were some things (and some people) in life that was completely unavoidable, and had to be dealt with directly. Despite the fact that each and every one of her direct confrontations ended in disaster (her confrontations with Randy and Hunter being the prime examples of that), she would always take the bad with the good, hiding her pain behind a silent smile and burying her sorrow deep within the depths of her heart.

She would always wear a mask of cheerfulness, would always speak in gentle tones to ease the other person's discomfort even when she was crying and screaming inside. Because really, wasn't a simple smile, no matter how empty it was, enough to satisfy most people?

June was a pro at this, after all. She coped for years with the knowledge of her mother abandoning her when she was just a child. She long accepted the fact that her father would always run away, forever choosing his addictions over her. She had mentally and physically survived her potentially fatal encounter with Santino Marella, and she endured the constant, almost torturous attempts by her three well-intentioned but slightly overbearing male companions to forever micromanage the lives of herself and her baby daughter.

So no, she wasn't a stranger to fighting for her own sake. She was familiar with the pain and the loneliness that often accompanied such fights…but it was precisely her exposure to these sorts of encounters that made her extremely wary of them. She didn't like conflict, she would probably never like conflict, and that was precisely why she didn't want to go anywhere within a hundred feet of Paul "Hunter" Levesque.

She knew what the consequences could be if she defied the Cerebral Assassin. There was no chance in hell she was going to put her little girl in harm's way, not for Chris Jericho, not for anyone. But at the same time, Chris trusted her. He trusted her more than he did his doctors, his friends, even his own wife. The way he firmly attached himself to her was childlike, innocent…and his dependency on her continuous support for him was probably what kept him from going completely insane.

It was this understanding that had forced June out of bed. It was Chris's very dependency on her that pulled her out of hiding. Truly, if the blond Canadian hadn't needed her so badly, she would probably still be huddled under her covers, waiting for the day to pass. But what would she do when she finally looked Chris in the eye? Would she be able to manipulate her way into getting his shares? Could she even _fathom_ doing such a horrible thing? Could she really ruin the lives of so many people with this despicable act, all the while playing the puppet of a selfish, conniving man who only cared about how fat he could make his wallet?

Bottom line—could she _lie _to Chris Jericho, a man who needed her like a child needed his mother?

"Oh my god—IT'S MRS. GRISHAM!"

"Eeeeeek!" June yelped as a large, heavy body painfully collided with her smaller, lighter one. Her face was immediately buried in a mess of silky blond hair, and she felt a slight dampness seep through her shirt as her assailant began to bawl hysterically into her shoulder. "Um…good morning, Mr. Jericho!" she greeted nervously, patting the blonde rock star rather awkwardly on the back. "Are you alright? Please don't cry…"

"NEVER LEAVE AGAIN!" Chris wailed, pulling back as he grasped June firmly by the shoulder with his one good hand. June noted with a slight pang of guilt that one of his arms was still set in a haphazard sling. "FOR THE LOVE OF SPARKLES, NEVER—LEAVE—AGAIN! I ALMOST DIED WITHOUT YOU!"

"Calm down…it'll be alright!" Trying to ignore the fact that they were standing in a corridor that was filling with increasingly curious passersby, June reached up and gently patted his head in an attempt to mollify him. "There, there, Mr. Jericho," the young mother said soothingly. "Calm down and slowly—_slowly—_tell me what's bothering you. I mean, how much could have happened? I was only gone for two days."

"_Only_ two days?" Chris repeated in disbelief. "Mrs. Grisham, two days amounts to forty-eight hours, which is equal to two thousand, eight hundred eighty minutes, which is the same as one hundred seventy-two thousand, eight hundred seconds! That's not a miniscule amount, June. It's practically a _lifetime_!"

June sighed and gave him a weary look. "Mr. Jericho…"

"No, don't give me that _face_! Do you have any idea what this joke of a hospital did to me during your absence? Those backstabbing hypocrites took the opportunity to commit unspeakable atrocities that's worthy of being prosecuted in the Supreme Court! As it turns out, I not only have to share my room with that sexual predator, Shaquille O'Neal, but I also have to attend _group _physical therapy sessions! _Group!_ My world is ending, June!"

"But group therapy doesn't sound too bad," June remarked, only to squeak when the blond Canadian's grip on her shoulder tightened. "Eep! I stand corrected…"

"I can't attend group sessions!" Chris moaned. "I just can't! Doesn't anyone—besides you and Haley, of course—understand how important I am? What the hell is this? I am _Chris Jericho_! I am _Y2J_! I am the _Ayatollah of Rock 'n' Rolla_! They can't treat me this way!"

"Chris Jericho, will you calm down?! You're disturbing the patients!"

Jumping at the sound of the new voice, both June and Chris turned to see Haley Mariano and Gail Kim walking towards them, the former of the two planting her hands firmly on her hips while the latter gave Chris a glare so nightmare-inducing that the man yelped in fright and tried to hide his bulky, six-foot frame behind June's tiny, five-foot-four body.

Needless to say, it didn't work in the slightest.

"Damn you, Jericho!" Gail hissed through gritted teeth. "Let me tell you exactly what I'm going to do to you in the next fifteen seconds. First, I'm going to slap you. And after I slap you, I'm going to stomp on your testicles with seven-inch stiletto heels until they're nothing but mush!"

"Oooooow!" Chris paled to a pallid white at Gail's words, hunkering down even further behind the young mother as a result. "What the hell, Gail?! What did I do to deserve _that_? I haven't even done anything!"

"Really now?" Haley's brown eyes flashed dangerously from behind her glasses. "Then how, pray tell, do you explain _that_?" Turning slightly to the side, she pointed a finger at a person who was waddling away from them, hunched over as if he was a hundred-year-old man. Strangely, the sight of this man caused Chris to shrink even further behind June, which in turn caused the dark-haired woman to crane her neck forward, curious as to who the figure was.

She ended up choking on her own saliva when she realized that the man was Shaquille O'Neal…who had a toilet seat stuck fast to his naked rear end.

"Mr. Jericho!" June turned to him with wide, dismayed eyes, and she nearly fainted when she saw a hint of a smirk play on his lips. "Mr. Jericho, no! Tell me you didn't do this!"

"…"

"…"

"I didn't _not _do it," Chris finally replied, attempting and failing to sound innocent.

"Oh stuff it, Jericho!" Gail shrieked, jabbing a finger at Chris's forehead. "Did you think we weren't going to find out what you did? What on earth were you thinking, supergluing that toilet seat to Mr. O'Neil's ass? Do you think the ER personnel have nothing to do? They're busy trying to pull Rob Van Dam out of his panic attack following that horrendous assault he suffered at the hands of his own self-defense class—"

"An incident that I'm going to have to cover up at all costs," Haley muttered under her breath. "Ugh. The press is going to have a field day…"

"—and now," Gail continued, "they're going to have to waste precious time to help Mr. O'Neil, all because you, Chris Jericho, had to go and pull one of the most childish pranks in the history of the entire goddamn planet!"

"But—but it was funny!"

For a moment, there was absolute silence. The tension was so thick that a person could have easily cut through it with a butter knife.

Then, Haley rubbed her aching temples and sighed. "Mr. Jericho…can you at least _pretend_ to feel remorse for other human beings? Just once? You might build up good karma and whatnot with the big guns upstairs."

"It's not like he didn't deserve it!" Chris retorted heatedly. "After he tried to kiss my forehead, all bets were off! I just know he was going to try to violate me and have his filthy way with me, and no one was going to stop him! So I simply took matters into my own hands."

"You are missing the _point_," Haley explained, her voice staring to sound strained and exasperated. "You can't just go around gluing things to people you don't like!"

"But why noooooooot?" Chris whined, sounding very much like a spoiled five-year-old. "He started it!"

"And you finished it! Very immaturely, I might add! You're very lucky I got to Mr. O'Neil before Vickie got wind of this, otherwise she would—"

"JERICHOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"—castrate you on the spot." Haley, June, Gail and Chris simultaneously flinched at the loud, high-pitched, nails-on-a-chalkboard scream, knowing exactly who it belonged to.

"Someone please save me," June begged, turning her eyes upward in a desperate plea to the heavens as Vickie furiously stampeded her way towards Chris Jericho (and consequentially, June herself). The young mother tried her hardest to pull Chris away from older woman's line of fire, or at least give him a chance to run for the hills, but the blonde Canadian seemed rooted to the spot. Worse still, he was rooted to the spot and yet somehow managed to maintain his steel-like grip on her shoulder, preventing her from making her own escape.

_One after the other_, June thought in despair. _It's always one after the other, and it NEVER ends! Oh god, why isn't anyone helping me?!_

"WHERE DO YOU GET THE GALL?" Vickie shrieked, accidentally spraying June with flecks of spittle when Chris inadvertently used the unlucky young mother as a human shield. "Do you think the laws of this country don't apply to you? Do you think you're some kind of _god?! _This is the last straw. You've gone too far this time! I understand that you have trouble getting along with him, but _really_? To pull a prank like _that_? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

June cringed as the last sentence was practically bellowed into her face, and there was now a rather irritating ringing in her ears that she knew wasn't going to go away any time soon. Despite her temporarily impaired hearing, however, she still managed to catch Chris's expected but horrendously ill-phrased rebuttal.

"Vickie, you're being silly."

The corridor went quiet.

At the same time, June, Haley, and Gail all prayed for Chris's death to be quick and painless.

"…silly?" Vickie's left eye was beginning to twitch dangerously. "Silly?" she repeated softly. "You think…I'm being…_silly_?"

"Oh lord." With the exception of Vickie, Haley, Chris, and June (who was unfortunately still being held captive), Gail and the rest of the surrounding passerby in the corridor quickly ran for cover, many of them taking refuge in nearby rooms as they waited for the inevitable eruption. Meanwhile, the twitching in Vickie's eyes grew to frightening levels, and all June could do was wish for some eye drops as the older woman finally exploded.

"YOU INCONSIDERATE, IMPOSSIBLE, INCORRIGIBLE SON-OF-A-BITCH! YOU THINK YOU'RE GETTING AWAY WITH THIS SCOT-FREE? I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR WHAT YOU DID TO—"

"Mrs. Guerrero!" Haley's voice suddenly cut through Vickie's ear-splitting screech, the lawyer's voice strong, calm, and authoritative as she bodily placed herself in-between the fuming Vickie Guerrero and the strangely silent Chris Jericho (and by proxy, the petrified June Grisham). "I warn you not to lose your temper. No matter what happened, you have to remember two things: One, you have a sterling reputation as well as a high-profile image to uphold."

"But Haley!" Vickie protested. "You don't know what he did to—"

"Two," Haley went on, ignoring all of the older woman's complaints, "I cannot stress that Mr. Jericho is still a man of great interest to you, no matter what he's done. At the very least, it would be prudent to listen to what he has to say before speaking our minds."

"Oh, can it, Haley!" Vickie snapped, her eyes narrowing on the composed, seemingly immovable lawyer. "Don't you lecture me right now! Chris's childish behavior has gone too far! Adam is a miserable _wreck_ because of him, and _I won't take it anymore_!"

Haley folded her arms across her chest and frowned, wondering how she could prevent Chris from being thrown out of the hospital…until her eyes suddenly widened in realization. "Wait a minute. Did you just say that _Mr. Copeland_ is a wreck at the moment?"

"Yes," Vickie growled. "I'll have you know that Adam had to book an emergency appointment at the hairdresser's, all because _someone _decided it would be a good idea to put super concentrated, extra strength, blueberry-flavored bubble gum all over his hair!"

"…"

"…"

Haley hung her head in dismay, as did June, while Chris merely sniggered to himself.

"Don't you dare laugh, Jericho!" Vickie screamed, as both June and Haley frantically tried to get her to calm down. "You're on thin ice as it is! It's bad enough that I still have to deal with all of the arrangements for the tournament on my own, but I also have to get them done by _tonight_! Which is why—"

"—which is why, Victoria," a powerful, commanding voice suddenly cut in, "you should probably get back to your increasingly stressed chef, and hammer out the fine details of what his preparations should be for the poker tourney before he suffers a code blue coronary!"

June's head whipped to the side, her eyes landing on the speaker of the sudden outburst…only to squeak in surprise and tug hard at Haley's sleeve a second later. "Miss Haley!" she whispered, staring at the man in a mixture of awe and shock. "Miss Haley, it's—it's—"

"I know!" The young lawyer smiled in amusement as she squeezed June's hand. "I still can't believe we managed to get him either! It took _forever _on my part to convince Food Network to lend us one of their star chefs…so expect some cameras at the tournament tonight. And don't be alarmed if you see yourself on TV in the near future, okay?"

"Oh gosh…"

But while June was star-struck by the new arrival, Vickie was nowhere near impressed. "Robert Irvine, what are you doing here?" she snapped, her lips pulling onto a scowl as she glowered at the burly, bespectacled chef. "You're supposed to be at the Royal Hustler Resort, working on our catering!"

Not intimidated by her in the least, Robert simply snorted and folded his arms over his chest. "It's a bit hard to do that, considering you haven't exactly given me any sort of direction for tonight. I asked you for a list of possible food allergies regarding your guests last week, and here we are, the night of the event, listless! Not to mention that the so-called 'help' you provided for me has been nonexistent!"

"Hey!" Popping up from seemingly out of nowhere, Big Show (who, despite being livid and red in the face, was hilariously wearing a pink, floral apron around his massive waist) grabbed Robert by the shoulder and forcefully turned him around so that they were face-to-face. "Don't you badmouth me, Irvine! The fact that my fingers are too big to crinkle your stupid little pastries is _not _my fault! I told you to put me on the barbeque pit!"

"We had this discussion before! J.R. is the only one allowed at the barbeque pit!" Robert snapped, his eyes narrowing from behind his glasses. Meanwhile, Gail poked her head out of the room she was hiding in, eyeing the chef with great interest. "Besides, how hard is it to gently pinch the corners of the dough? _Pinch_, I said, not massacre! A five-year-old could figure out how to crinkle pastries!"

"How about I crinkle _you_ and shove _you _into the oven, wise guy?"

"Ew, that's cannibalism!" Chris shouted suddenly, interrupting the already volatile conversation. "I'm not eating another human being! That's just gross!"

Silence fell between the group, heavy tension and awkwardness once again filling the air until Robert, deciding to ignore the strange, blond gentleman, cleared his throat and quietly continued. "Look, Victoria. This has been a tough, almost impossible mission, but I can get the food done for tonight. All I ask is that you give me just_ one_ competent person to assist me in the kitchen, because Dr. Wight here—" he jabbed a finger at a fuming Big Show "—isn't exactly right for the job."

"Screw you!" Big Show snarled. "You know what? My previous New Year's resolution to be kind and courteous to those in need is now officially null and void! Not only do I hope you go to hell, Irvine, but I also hope that someone spits your stupid, crinkly pastries right back in your face!"

With that, Big Show grabbed his floral apron and ripped it off, shoving the flour-covered article of clothing into Chef Irvine's hands before angrily stomping away, muttering loudly about Prima Donna network stars who couldn't appreciate an act of kindness to save their lives.

"Well, that situation seems to have sorted itself out," Robert commented quietly, before he turned to the red-faced Vickie with a bitter smile. "Wonderful staff you have here. Quite dedicated. _Really_."

"With an attitude like that, don't expect me to give you any more of my people," Vickie retorted coldly. "Unless they willingly volunteer—which I highly doubt they will at this point—I'm not making anyone else assist you. We're short staffed as it is, thanks to half of our female doctors fainting at that ridiculous self-defense class earlier this morning! Do whatever you want, Irvine, but at this point, you're on your own!"

Without another word, Vickie spun on her heel and walked off in a huff, leaving behind a confused June, a nonplussed Haley, a relieved Chris (who was extremely happy that all of these well-timed distractions had taken Vickie's mind off him), and a now very downtrodden Robert Irvine.

"Just wonderful," the chef muttered, tossing the messy apron aside before pinching the bridge of his nose. "And now I'm back to square one. Why did I even agree to take this assignment? I must have been out of my mind."

"I'll help you!" Gail said suddenly, emerging from her hiding place as she hurried over to Robert's side. The chef's eyes widened ever so slightly when the beautiful Asian doctor gave him a coy smile, and June couldn't help but notice that the normally tough and professional chef suddenly seemed…nervous. "Chef Irvine, I'd be happy to assist you in any way that I can! Having good food at the tournament is a must, especially when I'm going to participate in the tournament myself!"

"Oh! Is that right?" There was a slight tint of pink in his cheeks as Robert looked Gail over. "I-I wouldn't say no to your assistance, Miss…um…"

"Just call me Gail!"

"Gail. That's a very lovely name."

"Thank you, Robert!"

"Oh wow." June had to suppress a giggle as she exchanged knowing glances with Haley. "She skipped to a first name basis with him in the course of ten seconds!" she whispered excitedly. "I'd never have the courage to do that!"

"I know!" Haley whispered back. "Gotta give her props for her courage. Look, she's got him all flustered! Now where did my camera go…?"

"Why the heck is she all over him?" Chris complained, although he kept his voice low after a warning glare from June. "Robert Irvine is a no-talent hack whose fame dies a little bit more every passing year!"

"Hush you!" Haley scolded. "We're trying to eavesdrop to this awkwardly romantic conversation!"

"Yeah!" June agreed, shushing the blond Canadian with a stern stare. "I want to listen!"

"S-so anyway…" Robert rubbed the back of his neck nervously as Gail took a step closer to him, her dark eyes shining mischievously when the blush on his face deepened. "Gail, have you ever made lettuce cups before?"

"I've heard of them, but…" The Asian doctor leaned closer to Robert until her breasts were practically pressed up against his arm, causing the blushing, bespectacled chef to almost fall over right then and there. "I think I need a refresher course. Why don't you teach me how to…_cut the lettuce cups_?" She practically _breathed_ the last part of her statement to the poor man, all while his face turned into the color of an overripe tomato. "I'm a very fast learner, you know…"

"I—I—" Now stammering and spurting incoherently, Robert pulled away from her and began to walk towards the hospital exit. "Um, I just remembered! I have to, um, go back to the kitchen. At the resort. Which is very far from here."

Gail jogged after him, smiling innocently. "I'll go with you! I'm assisting you, remember?"

"Right! Right. Um, Gail, if you wish to jump me—I mean, _follow _me, you're welcome to come in my car. I mean, come _along_ in my car! Oh god, what on earth am I saying? I—I should go." Practically running at this point, Robert disappeared around the corner, with Gail chasing his heels with a playful smirk on her lips.

Meanwhile, June, Haley, and Chris watched all of this with amused grins on their faces.

"Not as experienced with the opposite sex as he is with food, is he?" Chris commented dryly, raising a brow at the departing chef and doctor. "I wouldn't have expected that from a big guy like him."

"Gail isn't exactly helping matters, you know," the young lawyer reminded him with a grin. "But you have to admit, it's _highly_ entertaining to see such an uptight man lose a little bit of control, especially around a woman as beautiful as she is."

"Who would have imagined that the great Robert Irvine is shy around beautiful, flirtatious women?" June wondered aloud. "It's so sweet to see him so bashful!"

"Everyone has an Achilles heel," Haley commented with a smirk. "And now we know Chef Irvine's. I should spread the word on Facebook or something."

"Well, not tonight!" June said, pouting. "Let's just focus on getting ready for the tournament! Besides, maybe by then, Chef Irvine might actually get past the 'shy' stage and start conversing properly with Gail, and whatever you write on Facebook will be properly founded."

Haley smirked. "Waiting for more concrete evidence, June? My, my, aren't you a devious minx!"

"Am not!"

"Yeah, she's not!" Chris said loudly, throwing his good arm around the dark-haired woman's shoulders. "She's just looking out for you, Haley! Wouldn't want Guerrero hospital's hotshot attorney to be accused of slander, would we?"

"Hmph!" Haley snorted, before giving Chris a hard stare. "Don't think you're out of the woods yet, Chris. You know Mr. Copeland will want revenge later tonight, after he fixes the damage you've done to his gorgeous, fluffy locks of hair."

"That assclown's got nothing on me!" Chris declared noisily, puffing his chest out in a daring display. "I can take him! If he tries anything, I'll just pour the rest of my superglue on what's left of his hair!"

"_Chris_!" Haley snapped, just as June cried out, "Mr. Jericho!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" The blond Canadian raised his hands in the air in surrender, laughing nervously. "I promise I won't do anything else to him!"

"And Mr. O'Neil too?" June pressed, a wary frown pulling at her lips.

There was no response.

"Chris, I'm warning you," Haley growled, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Oh, fine!" Chris pouted and averted his gaze. "Shaquille too. Spoilsports."

June sighed in relief. "I knew you were a kind, mature person deep down, Mr. Jericho. Now, it's almost time for your therapy session. Why don't you head on into your room? I'll be there in a minute and take you to Dr. Wight personally, alright?"

"…okay." Grumbling to himself, Chris pulled his arm away from June, trudging back to his hospital room with disposition of a spanked child. June waited until he finally slipped into his hospital room, out of earshot and out of sight before she let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Heavens above," she muttered, "that was _exhausting_."

"But Chris is sort-of, almost behaving again! Which is why the entire hospital is glad to have you back," Haley joked, gently squeezing the young mother's shoulders. She then gave June an apologetic look. "By the way, I'm sorry for not attending Jamie's birthday party. I wish I had been there, but…"

"You don't have to apologize!" June replied quickly, giving the lawyer a kind smile. "I know you were busy, and you told me well in advance that you couldn't come! Jamie adores the dollhouse, you know. When she's not trying to eat the dolls, she really does enjoy playing with it!"

Haley smiled brightly. "I'm glad! We should arrange another get-together with Gail and Lita, so I can spend some time with Jamie. Candice Michelle might tag along this time!"

"That's great! …who's Candice Michelle?"

"She's a good friend of mine," Haley explained, chuckling. "She owns a publishing company that's famous for releasing popular children's books. They even help the authors by selling the works door to door."

"D-door to door, you say? T-that's very kind of them!" June smiled nervously, wondering if it was the same company she had to sell books for when she had been pregnant. Not that anyone there would remember her, but still…

"I hope you brought pictures," the young lawyer continued, linking her arm with June's as she led them away from the corridor. "I want to see what you guys did! Gail told me your friends set up a huge surprise party for your baby, completely behind your back!"

June grinned cheekily. "They did! The three of them are so good to me. Sometimes, they just seem too good to be true. "

Haley raised a brow, before she nudged the young mother playfully in the side. "You know, June…if something feels too good to be true, that's because it's usually the case."

"Oh, stuff it you!" June stuck her tongue out childishly at Haley, before she giggled and leaned happily against her friend. "I can't wait until we leave for the day," she said happily. "After we get our hair and makeup done, I just _have _to show you, Gail, and Lita the dress I'll be wearing!"

"I don't think Gail's going to make it," Haley mused. "She seems to be a bit preoccupied with Chef Irvine. But now you've piqued my interest! What kind of dress is it?"

"It was a gift from a friend, actually! He just got it for me a few days ago, but it's absolutely beautiful! He said it came all the way from Europe! I never had a dress from Europe before!"

Haley smiled sadly at June's cheerful enthusiasm, recalling that the young mother's income was nowhere near as extensive as her own. "Nice friend. Now I definitely have to see what you're wearing. You'll probably knock everyone dead, though, no matter what you wear."

"Are you sure you're not talking about yourself or Gail?" June replied teasingly.

"You're right! We're quite lovely as well!" Haley lifted her head proudly, bearing all the regal elegance of a queen. "Why, imagine what'll happen when we three gorgeous women enter the building at the same time? I'm sure every man in the vicinity will fall to the floor, worshiping the ground we walk on."

"We'll be three Cleopatras!" June exclaimed, laughing. "So, which tournament chain will you participate in tonight, Miss Haley? Texas Hold'em is the popular choice, but I'm a bit partial to Omaha."

"Then you'll be in the Blue Room," the young lawyer replied. "That's where the Omaha portion of the games will be held. I myself will be in the Red Room, with all of the other players who wish to lose to me at Texas Hold'em."

"Are you really that good?" June asked, her mouth open slightly in amazement. Haley only winked and gave her a knowing smirk.

"When you hear a bunch of old men moping and groaning about how they lost hundreds of thousands of dollars due to the undeniable wiles of a sexy, talented, kick-ass lawyer…you'll know who won the tourney."

"Hey! Who are you calling an old man, Mariano? You're hurting my feelings!"

A large, rough hand suddenly descended on June's shoulder, and the small, dark-haired woman suddenly felt her blood turn to ice at the sound of the frightfully familiar voice. _Oh no_, she thought, her mind suddenly descending into panic mode. _Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, not him…_

"Hello Hunter!" Haley greeted, all too aware that June's entire body had completely frozen in her arms. Forcing a smile at her mentor while gently squeezing the young mother's shaking hands, she said in a perky tone, "Oh dear, oh dear! Did you happen to overhear my completely accurate declaration of victory for tonight's main event? Because we all know my triumph is a foregone conclusion! That, and you _are _old, old man."

"Don't get cocky, Haley," Hunter grumbled, pursing his lips in annoyance. "I am a young man at heart, laugh lines and all—"

"You mean wrinkles," Haley corrected smugly. "You're getting quite a bit of them lately. Can I recommend this awesome exfoliating mask? It'll clear some of those crows' feet overnight, I promise!"

"—and everyone knows it!" Hunter continued, gritting his teeth ever so slightly. "Besides, it's not just me you have to watch out for. I heard Dwayne's been brushing up on his skills ever since you cleaned him out at the Christmas party last year. Also, I heard he's been real fired up over a disagreement he has with some punkass detective in a nearby precinct, so he'll be out for blood tonight."

"He can try, but I can take him. I usually do." Smirking arrogantly, Haley turned away and tried to pull June out of the Cerebral Assassin's sight. "Come on, June…let's get back to Chris before he thinks you've been kidnapped and calls the National Guard."

"Hold on." Hunter suddenly stepped in front of the two women, his steely blue eyes suddenly fixed on the trembling June. "I need to have a word with Mrs. Grisham for a moment."

"Can't it wait, Hunter?" Haley asked, her eyes narrowing as she tightened her hold on June's arm. On her part, June was trying her best not to collapse on the floor due to her aching legs, which were now stretching painfully against her constrictive stockings. "Didn't you hear me earlier? We have to get to Jericho. I know you hate his hysterical temper tantrums as much as we do, so if you'll excuse me—"

"It will only take a second," Hunter growled, now completely ignoring his young protégée as June shrank further against Haley, desperately seeking some sort of shelter. Knowing that Vickie had eyes and ears all throughout the hospital, he bent down until his mouth was just an inch away from June's ear, and whispered so softly that not even Haley could hear him if she tried. "It's been two days, sweetheart. You're down to _one_. I saw you with Jericho earlier, and you missed a perfectly good opportunity. I hope you know how serious this game is, because I'm not playing around, nor will I allow anyone to play around with _me_."

With that, he gave June a hard, warning squeeze on her shoulder. He then immediately pulled back, smiling innocently at both the wilting, terrified young mother and the angry, infuriated lawyer before giving them a two-fingered salute.

"I'll see you lovely ladies tonight!" he said in a too-cheerful tone, walking away with a whistle on his lips until he finally disappeared around the corner.

Meanwhile, June continued to grip Haley's arm in terror, her fingers digging painfully into the young lawyer's sleeve as she tried desperately to compose herself.

_This isn't happening, _she told herself, swallowing thickly as the fear threatened to consume her very being. _I'm dreaming. I must still be in bed. This can't really be happening to me…_

"June? June!" Haley shook her hard, trying to snap the young mother out of her panic-induced trance. "Come on, June, snap out of it! He's gone!"

"H-huh?" June looked up, still disoriented from fright. "W-what?"

"What did he say to you?" Haley asked slowly, telling herself that she would smack Hunter upside the head the next chance she got. _Damn it old man, I told you to leave her alone! _"Are you alright? What did he say, June?"

"He…he…"

The dark-haired woman squeezed her eyes shut, another tremble seizing her small body. Then, stilling herself, she looked up until her large brown eyes met Haley's worried ones. She stared at the young lawyer for a minute, several emotions coursing through her body at once—fear, worry, anxiety, panic, desperation, hopelessness, despair—and then, just like that, a smile forced its way past the corners of her lips, masking all the terror and humiliation she felt within.

"Why, I'm fine, Miss Haley. He didn't say anything worth repeating. Don't worry about me."

* * *

**A/N: Alright! June proved she's a mushroom and not a butterfly! No wait, that's bad. Oh well. Now I can get on with the story! Yay…**

**Can you believe that this chapter, along with the last two chapters, were all originally ONE chapter?...yeah, now you know why I kept breaking it up. Ugh.  
**

**Robert Irvine and Gail Kim actually did get married in real life! I thought their wedding was extremely sweet, and the episode of **_**Dinner: Impossible**_** where they met for the first time was adorable. He really did seem flustered around her (he admitted this himself) and I couldn't resist putting the reference here.**

**Anyway, new poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 31 votes **

**John Cena: 14 votes**

**Jeff Hardy: 13 votes**

**Have Them All: 11 votes **

**Dave Batista: 4 votes**

**Todd Grisham: 1 vote**

**Live for Herself and Jamie: 1 vote**


	37. Perfectly Imperfect

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-Seven: Perfectly Imperfect**

_I don't like many of the fairytale princesses._

_There are a few exceptions, like Disney's __Mulan__ and Merida, but they're part of another topic for another day. Because let's face it, most of the princesses in storybooks and fairytales are shown as weak, pitiful women who seem to exist only to fall in love with some shmuck. Like Cinderella._

_Oh god, I __**hate**__ princesses like Cinderella. I hate stories like hers with the burning, white hot intensity of a thousand suns!_

_Don't even get me started on Cinderella herself. Woman, what is the matter with you? How can you just sit there for the entire movie, taking that horrible abuse and just "wishing" for life to get better? Don't you have any courage at all? Be brave, find your inner strength, do __**something **__other than hang your head and say, "Yes, stepmother." You obviously know how to cook and clean and do stuff around the house. You could have left those selfish witches ages ago! You could have gotten a job somewhere else and build a new life for yourself!_

_Why did you only wish__ for life to change, instead of actively shaping your own fate and making your own miracle? Life isn't going to hand you answers on a silver platter! Ugh, I HATE women like her!_

_And then there's the Prince. GOD, the Prince. I think he's actually the worst of them all. You guys all know the real reason why he fell in love with Cinderella, right?_

…_it's because she was wearing a pretty girl, who was wearing a pretty dress._

…

_That's it._

_Of all the dumb, stupid, lunkheaded reasons to fall in love! You liked Cinderella just because she was pretty? Are you serious? What's the matter with you? What if she had the personality of an ogre? (And no, I'm not talking about Shrek, so don't even start!) What if she was a crazy person and ate human beings like some kind of monster? How can a person fall in love with someone just because of their looks?_

…_actually, maybe that's the reason Cinderella's daddy married the evil stepmother. But if it's true, then he's an even bigger idiot than I thought._

* * *

Sometimes, Lita wished that June would take better care of herself.

She meant physically as well as mentally, although problems of the heart concerned the redhead as well, because June didn't seem to be herself these days. She didn't know why, but the poor thing was just radiating so much tension and anxiety, and the darkening circles under her normally cheerful brown eyes were nothing short of alarming. That wasn't all, however. What worried Lita the most was that whenever the young mother thought no one was watching, a shaken look seemed to pass over her countenance, giving her the appearance of a frail, frightened rabbit that had nowhere to hide.

The fact that June wasn't offering her any explanations didn't exactly help matters. Every time Lita tried to press the issue, June would merely shake her head, laugh that sweet, gentle laugh of hers, and insist that everything was alright…all while twisting her recently manicured hands into pretzels.

_The girl's easier to read than a book written for preschoolers. I really hope Jeff is keeping perverted pests like Orton and Cena far, far away from her…_

"Kiddo," Lita grumbled to June as she furiously brushed through a particularly stubborn knot in the young mother's hair, "you're going to lose every penny you have if the other players figure out your nervous habits. I suggest keeping those fidgety hands of yours under the table tonight, out of sight."

"Miss Lita!" Her trembling hands immediately stilling, June looked up at her friend with a hurt expression. The two of them, along with Haley, were currently in the lawyer's very large, comfortable residence due to the fact that out of all of their homes, Haley's was the closest to the Royal Hustler Resort. "I'm not fidgety! I'm—I'm just nervous about the tournament, that's all!"

"Of course you are," Lita replied dryly. "If that's the case, then just try to relax. Nervousness is a dead giveaway of the hand you're playing. Bluffing is the key to any good poker player, so if you don't wanna get cleaned out while playing cards tonight, you'd better learn how to lie unflinchingly."

June lowered her head, aware of the double meaning behind the redhead's words. "Yes, you're right…"

"Amy, don't stress her out!" Haley scolded from behind the bathroom door. Both June and Lita could hear her rummaging around, and June briefly imagined the young woman opening and closing cabinet doors in her efforts to get ready. "She'll be fine! She's going to be in the Blue Room, and that's where all the easy targets are going to be!"

Lita smirked as she twisted June's long, dark hair into a pretty, elegant bun at the nape of her neck. "So you're pretty much saying that the kiddo's a sap, then?" she said loudly, fixing June's beautiful chignon hairstyle in place with silver pins and clasps. "Tsk, tsk! How fragile your alliance is, Lady Hotshot Attorney! I expected better from you!"

"Very funny!" Haley retorted mockingly. "You're a riot, you are. I'm practically in stitches, with how much you're making me _not _laugh."

"Sarcasm becomes you!" Lita teased. The bathroom door opened slightly, and the redhead caught a glimpse of Haley's right hand sticking out, the middle finger extended, before it slipped out of sight again. "Oh, that's totally mature, Hales!"

June giggled and shook her head at the two, grabbing her small compact mirror and taking a quick peek at her hairstyle. Her eyes brightened when she saw the perfect bun hanging low on the side of her head, and she squealed in delight. "Miss Lita! You've outdone yourself!"

"You like it, kiddo?" the redhead asked, pleased.

"It's amazing! I absolutely love the chignon look! And the silver hairclips…they'll go perfectly with my dress!"

"Well, what can I say, kiddo? French hairstyles just seem to suit you." Lita smirked as she gently pulled at the stray, loose locks of hair, framing them around June's face so that it gave her an alluringly tousled look. "There we go! Just the right amount of sexy while still maintaining a hint of that casual innocence that makes you…well, _you_. It's perfectly imperfect."

"Miss Lita!" June blushed prettily and turned her head towards the floor. "I'm not sexy."

"Of course you are! You definitely got it, so all you have to do is flaunt it! But first, go to the bathroom and throw Haley out so you can get changed! She's been hogging it for an hour!"

"I heard that! And I wasn't hogging it!" Haley shouted, her high heels clicking loudly against the tiles as she finally emerged. June instantly gasped in amazement while Lita nodded at Haley in approval—the young lawyer was wearing a short, light jade dress that stopped just at her mid-thighs. It had a strapless, sweetheart neckline to emphasize her curves, and she wore silver, strapped heels that gave her a bit of a height boost, which matched perfectly with the diamonds that glittered at her wrist and from her ears. Her auburn hair was tied in a fancy updo with silver combs and, like June, her side swept bangs also framed her face in a refined manner.

"Well?" The lawyer twirled playfully and gave them a hopeful smile. "What do you guys think? You like?"

"We _love_!" June replied, grinning cheekily as she rose to her feet and crossed over to Haley. "Miss Haley, you look absolutely beautiful!"

"You aren't looking too bad yourself, June!" Haley looked over the young mother's chignon with admiring eyes. "I should grow my hair out again. A classy look like that is a hit with one of the judges I constantly have to face in court."

"Really? But I think your current hairstyle suits you…"

"Enough chit-chat!" Lita said loudly, grabbing June by the shoulders and pushing her towards the bathroom. "Go get changed! Go get changed right now, or else the whole night will fly by and you'll miss the tournament entirely!"

"H-hey! Wait! Eeeeeep!" The small, dark-haired woman squeaked as she was practically tossed into the restroom, with Lita chucking the white gift box and her makeup bag in after her. "You didn't have to shove, you know!" June yelled, her voice muffled as Lita slammed the door in her face.

"You'll thank me for my tough love someday!" the redhead shot back, a slight smugness audible in her voice. "Don't forget, you have really fair skin and a cool complexion, so you can't wear bright red lipstick! Stay away from the orange-reds especially! You'll end up looking like some creepy, psychotic circus clown!"

"EWW! Now I'm going to be stuck with that visual image all night!"

As Lita snickered at June's horrified reaction, Haley clicked her tongue loudly and judgmentally. "You don't have to rib her _that _much, you know," the young lawyer commented dryly. "If you consider the fact that the tournament will be full of participants who have obnoxiously large egos and even bigger attitudes, a person with a gentle personality like June's won't really be excited about it."

"Well, when you put it that way…" Lita sighed, plopping down on the nearby sofa and stretching her long legs in front of her. "Haley, you know I'm not trying to be mean. I just want June to loosen up and relax once in a while. You know as well as I do that she's _always_ been a bit antsy, especially in matters considering that firecracker daughter of hers, but she seems really off lately. I can tell something's bothering her, but…" Lita frowned. "I don't know. She won't talk to me about it. Haley, you work with her. Do you know what's going on?"

At Lita's words, the young lawyer immediately felt her insides clench with guilt. She knew exactly what was going on with June, knew that the poor young mother was being harassed and manipulated into an early grave…and worst still was the fact that she was indirectly allowing it to happen. But honestly, what could she do except yell and scream at Hunter, a tactic that hadn't worked in the slightest? There was little she could actually do to help June without blowing her cover, and there was no one she could talk to about this except for Dave and Rey, who already knew of the situation anyway.

Besides, even if she did go against her orders and blabbed to Lita, the redhead couldn't do anything either. Lita had no connections to speak of, and was as powerless in the corporate world as June was.

_This is why I hate my job sometimes. Damn you Hunter, you owe me for this._

With every bit of self-discipline she had, Haley pushed back every hint of remorse and shame that threatened to appear on her face. She kept her reactions grounded and under control, and kept her voice calm and careful when she finally answered, "I'm not sure of the details either. There are rumors that something big is going on behind the scenes at Guerrero Hospital, something involving the biggest players there. Unfortunately, whatever it is, it's being kept a secret even from me."

"Really? Damn." Lita frowned and leaned back against the sofa, huffing loudly. "I thought you lawyers knew everything!"

"Lawyers aren't seers, Lita," Haley replied flatly. "We don't have divine eyes that let us see everything around us." She then pouted, her bottom lip jutting out slightly. "I wish I _did_ have divine eyes, though. Knowing what my opponent is going to say ahead of time would really help me extend my win record in court…"

"You don't need to see the future for that!" a loud, boisterous voice declared arrogantly. "With the way you're demolishing all of the prosecutors and your fellow attorneys left and right, you're better than any stupid psychic with their stupid mind-reading powers!"

Haley and Lita looked up, and their eyes fell upon a tall, stocky, bleach-blond man who was casually leaning against the front doorframe. Dressed in a charcoal-gray tuxedo, he was smirking at the confused look on Lita's face, while Haley's own countenance lit up in absolute delight. "Hey there, Troublemaker!" the lawyer greeted excitedly, closing the distance between herself and the newcomer before throwing her arms lovingly around his neck. "Don't you look handsome tonight?"

"Woman, never forget that you are talking to Misteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr rrr…KENNEDY!" He paused for dramatic effect. "KENNEDY!" he echoed, grinning impishly when Haley rolled her eyes at him and Lita clasped her hands to her ears in annoyance. "And I always, _always _look outrageously sexy."

"I think you need to get the wax out of your ears, Ken," Haley scoffed. "I said you were _handsome_, not sexy. The words have different meanings. That's why they're spelled differently."

"Ingrate!" Ken shouted, glaring at Haley crossly. "I came all this way to escort you to this sham of a tournament, so old creepy geezers like Vince McMahon won't hit on you! I _care _about your well-being, and this is how you thank your loving boyfriend?"

Haley snorted loudly. "Oh please! You're only going for the free drinks, the smorgasbord of food, and the opportunity to get your revenge on both me and Dwayne for knocking you out of the tournament in the first round last year! The fact that you're escorting me happens to be a convenient little coincidence for you."

"Now see here, woman—"

"Um, hello?" Lita waved her arms at the couple's faces, giving them both exasperated looks. "I still exist! Can someone fill me in on what's going on? Who the hell are you?" She stared pointedly at Ken, who in turn made a loud snort of disbelief.

"You can't be serious." Ken shook his head at Lita. "You honestly don't recognize me? I am Kenneth Anderson, the star announcer of ESPN, and occasional ringside commentator to UFC when people get sick of Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg! But the fans usually know me as—"

"Ken, don't!" Haley moaned, covering her ears. "You already screeched your catchphrase when you came in!"

"—but the fans," Ken repeated, deliberately ignoring Haley as he continued to address the increasingly confused Lita, "usually know me as the amazing, spectacular, incredibly talented and ridiculously sexy Misteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr rrr—"

"Kennedy!" The bathroom door suddenly flung open, banging against the wall as June burst into the room, looking surprised and overjoyed. But despite this loud interruption, the room immediately went silent afterwards, Ken's second attempt at screaming his stage name dying in his throat as he, Haley, and Lita all stared at the dark-haired woman with shocked expressions on their faces.

Normally, June's appearance was best described as neat and trim. Not to say she looked plain or unattractive, but her daily outfits tended to lean towards laid-back and casual. Her usual ensemble consisted of jeans and shirts, and her long, dark hair was always either in a ponytail or simply brushed and let down. In short, she looked cute and freshly scrubbed, but the word "beautiful" was never really in anyone's minds.

Until now.

The person who was standing in front of them seemed more like a familiar stranger. The woman's face, touched only with the faintest traces of makeup, was gentle, soft, and feminine. Her small and petite body now took on a more willowy, curvy frame in the beautiful virgin white dress that was wrapped around her. Her large, dark eyes seemed to sparkle from the lights reflecting off of the diamond embellished straps of the dress, as well as the diamonds that adorned her neck, earrings, and wrists. But the most surprising thing was that her legs, usually hidden by scrubs or loose-fitting jeans, were now fully visible through the slits in the lower portion of her dress, revealing their true, slim, forms for the first time.

Not that June seemed to care about her changed appearance in the least. Paying no attention to Haley and Lita's stunned speechlessness, the young mother ran up to the flabbergasted beach blond man and grasped his hands excitedly. "Ken!" she exclaimed, giving him a huge smile. "I can't believe it! It _is_ you! I haven't seen you in years!"

"You haven't?" Ken blinked. "We know each other? How? I'm pretty sure I would have remembered a woman with an ass…toundingly beautiful face like yours," he corrected quickly, shrinking under the death glare Haley threw in his direction.

June pouted. "Don't you recognize me? You had that segment with Todd on ESPN when we were younger! You used to scream your name in his ears all the time…"

"Todd? Wait a minute!" Ken's eyes suddenly lit up in recognition, and his grin grew until it seemed far too large for his face. "You mean Todd Grisham, don't you? That means…!"

* * *

"_Thank you, Ken, for that delightful and highly unnecessary lesson on how to properly clean soiled jock straps," Todd stated flatly into the microphone, throwing his so-called partner a deadpanned look. "Despite the nightmares and mental trauma I'm going to suffer for the next couple of weeks, I'm sure our audiences at home found your lecture to be entertaining and informative. __**Really**__."_

_Ken snorted loudly. "You know Grisham, with an attitude like that, a person might get the idea that you find my inputs to be useless and disgusting."_

"_You said it, not me."_

_The bleach-blond huffed indignantly and poked a finger hard against the bespectacled man's chest. "You, my friend," Ken said as-a-matter-of-factly, "need to understand that the viewers at home need to be entertained with information that __**may **__seem useless, but can actually save your life one day."_

"_And just how will knowing how to clean jock straps save a person's life?!"_

"_Grisham, I personally have a true story that took place during a certain, dark chapter of my life. I can't say it on-air, or else there's a HUGE chance that I'll be fired before our segment is over, but know that cleaning jock straps came in handy during my seven-day trip to Las Vegas. Literally saved my life when I journeyed into that strip club. When that hooker and that bouncer tried to come at me with that dildo—"_

"_Aaaaaaaaaand I think we're out of time!" Todd yelled hurriedly, frantically motioning for the cameraman to stop filming. "That's pretty much all for tonight, folks! I'm Todd Grisham—"_

"_And I," Ken cut in, his face suddenly only an inch away from Todd's left ear, "am the one and only Misteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr rrr…KENNEDY!" He practically shrieked the last word into his cringing partner's eardrum, and it took every bit of self-control Todd had not to crumple to the ground, screaming and clutching at his now deaf ear._

_There was a moment of silence. Cautiously opening an eye, Todd peeked at Ken's smirking face, before he sighed and turned back to the camera. "Right. Michael, back to you—"_

"_KENNEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYY !" Ken suddenly screeched again, this time popping up besides Todd's right ear. _

_The effect was instantaneous._

"_GAH! GAAAAAAAAAAHH! HELP ME! I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING! I CAN'T HEAR __**ANYTHING**__! GAAAAAAAAHHH!"_

* * *

"Holy shit!" Ken exclaimed, his eyes widening appreciatively as he looked over June's form. "Barnett? June Barnett? Damn, the years have _certainly_ been kind to you!"

"And you're as charming as ever, I see!" June replied cheekily, laughing as she gave his hands a friendly squeeze. "About time you remembered me! It's June Grisham now, though…"

"So you and that four-eyed geek finally tied the knot, huh?" Ken smirked. "I knew you would! Of course, I always did think you were too good for him, but little Toddie must have gotten lucky! Where is he, anyway? Is he doing alright? I haven't talked to the shrimp in years!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Ken blinked at the sudden silence, giving each of the three women a confused look. "…hey. Hey! What's the deal? The minute I said, 'I haven't talked to the shrimp in years!' there's been an eerie silence in here…"

"Ken." Haley threw a worried glance towards June, noting that the young mother's smile became strained. "Ken, don't you know what happened?"

"Know what?" He stared at Haley in confusion. "Haley, what's going on?"

"Were you really friends with Todd Grisham?" Lita asked coldly, scowling at the blond in increasing dislike. "How the hell can you not know that he died almost a year and a half ago?!"

"He _what_?!" The blood drained from Ken's face until it was a pallid white. "W-when did he—I—what—" He stared at Haley's tense expression, to Lita's icy glare, to June's increasingly unreadable face. "I don't—June, how did this happen?"

"…car accident." June's voice was soft, quiet. Her hand slowly traveled to the gold wedding ring on her finger, and she touched the thin band of metal delicately. "He was on a business trip. He was coming home that night, but…he took a wrong turn."

"I…I…oh fuck." Ken ran a hand through his hair, the color still not returning to his cheeks. "Fuck, I didn't know. I haven't spoken to you or Todd in five years, I—I—"

June shook her head quickly, cutting him off. "It's alright. I'm…" She trailed off, uncertainty suddenly making its way to the forefront of her mind. Like an automated answering machine, she had been about to say that she was _fine _and _happy_ and _dandy_, but truth be told, she wasn't. She wasn't fine. A year and a half into Todd's death, and things still hadn't changed for her. She wasn't fine, and she still wasn't over it.

She still wasn't over _him_.

But she wasn't going to say that out loud, not in front of her friends and not on a night where everyone was supposed to be happy.

Taking a deep, silent breath, June calmed herself, and allowed a weak smile to wash over her face. "It's alright, Ken," she murmured, pouring her comfort towards the now abashed and ashamed man in front of her. "Like Miss Lita said, it's been a year and a half now and you were away. We didn't contact one another in god knows how long. I understand."

"I know, but…" He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, not meeting June's eyes. "S-still! Someone should have told me! I didn't—I—_fuck_, I just didn't know."

"Don't." June looked down at her ring, swallowing thickly. "Don't feel bad for me, Ken. Life doesn't stop just because tragedy strikes. I just have to…I just have to keep going, you know? And I still have our baby girl to think about. As much as I still love him and miss him, I can't dwell on Todd all the time, not when my daughter needs me at my best."

"Jesus Christ. You two had a baby on top of it?" Ken ran a hand over his face. "You're widowed and saddled with a kid! How the hell are you still smiling?"

"Well, that part is easy." The young mother suddenly lifted her head, her pretty face lighting up like a thousand-watt bulb. She pressed her fingers against the corners of her lips and tugged them upward, forming a large, happy grin. "You just lift the corners of your mouth up and give everyone the biggest Bambi eyes you have! That's all there is to smiling! Oh, throw in a couple of laughs while you're at it, and you're A-Okay!"

The beach blonde man raised a brow at June's cheeky smile, before shaking his head and chuckling. "You're definitely something else, woman, I'll give you that."

"Better believe it," Lita agreed. Letting out a silent sigh of relief at feeling the tension dissipate, she placed a protective hand on June's shoulder. "Don't ever count June out. Kiddo's tougher than anyone gives her credit for. Plus, little Jamie's a pint-sized firecracker herself! Once she's old enough, she'll probably kick you in the balls if you even _think _about insulting her mother, so that's that."

"Would the balls-kicking on Jamie's part be due to June's influence…or _yours_, Lita?" Haley asked innocently, although a smirk could clearly be seen on her face. "Because I heard that June had some misgivings about kicking people in their nuts during today's self-defense class, so I seriously doubt Jamie's willingness to mutilate male genitalia will come from her mother."

"Wha—June!" Lita glared at the dark-haired woman, who squeaked in surprise and ducked behind Haley for protection. "First of all, I can't believe you didn't tell me that you're taking a self-defense class! I would have loved to join you for something like that!"

"I'm not taking anything!" June protested, cautiously peeping over the lawyer's shoulder. "It was some special one day event that Dr. Mysterio was holding with that actor, Rob Van Dam! And I was roped into joining the class; I didn't volunteer for it!"

"Furthermore," Lita continued, barreling over June's objections like they were nothing, "I can't believe you didn't kick anyone in the balls! That's pretty much the main reason why _anyone _takes self-defense!"

"But you know I don't like violence—"

"Don't argue with me! Ugh, you know what? One day, I'm taking you to a _real _self-defense class! I'm going to teach you how to grapple and toss assholes over your shoulder, all while learning how to block off the blood flow to their brains in one hit! It's for your own good, kiddo!"

June paled and leaned against Haley for support. "Can't I be bad then, for once in my life?" she whispered to the young lawyer, who chuckled softly in response and squeezed her hands supportively.

"Now listen up, ladies," Ken said loudly, coming in between June, Lita, and Haley. "Forget all this serious stuff involving the past and beating up idiots and whatnot. Tonight is supposed to be a night of delicious debauchery and seductive sin! We're supposed to gamble and trick losers into throwing away all of their money…all in the name of charity! There's no room for arguing, or sad faces, or stopping loving boyfriends from screaming out their incredible catchphrase in the ears of former mentors—"

"I have done nothing of the sort!" Haley interrupted, frowning.

"No, but you were going to, weren't you?" Ken screwed up his face and began to speak in a high, squeaky, falsetto voice. "_Don't yell in Dwayne's ear! Don't bother Vickie, she's in a crappier mood than usual today! Don't torture Adam too much, we need him sane for a little bit longer! And stay the hell away from Hun_—mmmph!"

He was suddenly cut off when, without warning, Haley captured his lips in a passionate kiss. For just a split second, he stood there dumbly as soft lips continued to press demandingly against his. Then, his eyes glinted deviously before he hungrily kissed her back, much to the horror (this was Lita) and discomfort (this was June) of their two female companions.

"Oh my god," Lita groaned. "It's like they're trying to _eat _each other's tongues…"

"I really don't think we should be watching this," June murmured, blushing a brilliant scarlet at the sight.

The amorous display went on for about fifteen more seconds, until Lita began to make loud, disgusted retching noises in order to get Haley and Ken to stop. "Alright! That's enough! The three of you, get out of here before I end up puking all over the carpet!"

"Don't you dare!" Haley shrieked in dismay, tearing her lips away from her boyfriend with some difficulty. ("HEY! Get your ass back here! I am NOWHERE near satisfied yet, woman!") "I just had that carpet steamed! And this is _my _house! You can't kick me out of my own home!"

"Watch me," the redhead stated in a deadpanned tone, before shoving both Haley and a clearly unhappy Ken out the door. "Don't drink too much, don't overplay your hands, and if you're losing, know when to walk away!"

"Don't you tell me how to lose at poker!" Ken bellowed, just before Lita threw him out into the cold, while allowing a rather frustrated Haley to walk out with dignity. She then turned to June, who had watched the entire display with a stunned look on her face. "Alright kiddo. You know what to do tonight, right?"

"Right." June gave the redhead a wide, cheesy grin. "Bat my eyelashes at the desperate men, give them a cute pout every once in a while to throw them off, and if all else fails, spill champagne on my bosom and peek at their cards while they're distracted."

"I taught you so well." Lita sniffed back a fake tear, before throwing an arm around June's shoulders. "You'll be fine. I know you'll do well, even if you don't win. Just…" She trailed off for a second, frowning. "Just let loose and have fun, alright? Honestly, you look like you need it."

"Miss Lita, I'm fine," the young mother insisted gently. "Don't worry about me! It's not like I'm going off into the wilderness! I'll be with Miss Haley, Dr. Mysterio, and Dr. Batista!"

"Hmmph!" Lita snorted loudly. "You're still not on a first name basis with the man yet? You're being awfully slow about this."

"I am not!" June protested. "Besides, it's not appropriate to call him 'Dave' yet, and—"

"I'm pretty sure it became appropriate six months ago," Lita cut in, carelessly brushing back some stray strands of hair from June's face. "Didn't you tell me earlier that you were practically melting in his arms after he caught you earlier today?"

June blushed several bright shades of pink, and she quickly covered her glowing face with her hands in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. "Miss Lita! I wasn't melting! Well, maybe I did feel sort of excited, but—I mean, I was shocked, and he was so close to me—not that I didn't enjoy it, but—"

"Seriously kiddo…just screw him already. You've gone a year and a half without. I wouldn't be able to last half that long."

"_Miss Lita!_"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Go and scam your money for the poor…and for goodness sakes, have some fun! You're too much of a saint as it is! Besides—" here, the redhead smirked wickedly "—I'd love to see the look on Matt and Jeff's faces if they find out you got drunk in the middle of a high-class charity event. Maybe you'll even make out with Dave, hmm?"

June wanted to die a thousand deaths at the mere thought. "MISS LITA!"

* * *

"And then," Jeff said to Jamie, juggling the little baby on his lap while she tried to grasp at the pages of the book he was reading, "the giant's wife bundled Jack into the oven just as the big, monstrous brute came in."

"Gaaaaaaaack!" Jamie squealed. _Daddy Jeff, that's weird! Why would anyone hide in an oven? What if the giant's wife forgot to turn it off? Jack would have been burned to a crisp! Silly giants!_

"He was a big one, to be sure," Jeff went on. "At his belt, he had three calves strung up by the heels. He unhooked them and threw them down on the table, turning to his wife and growling out, 'Here, woman! Broil me a couple of these for breakfast! I'm the hungriest son-of-a-gun to ever walk this earth, and—ah! What's this I smell?

_Fee-fi-fo-fum,_

_I smell the blood of_—'"

"MY LIFE IS OVER!"

"—a stupid motherfucker." Lowering the book, the rainbow-haired artist looked up and frowned at the source of the unwanted interruption, which happened to be a very annoying man who was all but drowning in his own puddle of sorrow and despair. "Damn it Cena! Stop blubbering and get your ass off the floor! You're getting your sappy tears all over it, and I just finished mopping half an hour ago!"

"Fuck you, Hardy!" John snapped back, causing Jamie to laugh in delight at the strange word spilling from her possible father's mouth.

_Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck…oh boy! I'm gonna try saying that one day! It can't be a bad word, because Daddy John and Daddy Randy say it all the time! Even Daddy Jeff says it once in a while! Mommy's going to be so proud of me!_

"Stop cussing!" Jeff growled as he covered Jamie's ears, unaware that he was far too late in preventing her from learning the curse. "You know how Junie gets when we swear in front of Jamie! If our baby girl's first word ends up being a profanity, Junie's gonna tan all our hides!"

"It doesn't matter!" John yelled, dragging himself up off the floor as he glowered at his so-called friend and roommate. "Our life with Junie is falling apart at the seams, but you and Orton don't even give a damn! She's going to leave us, leave _me, _and the two of you don't even care! Oh god, how am I supposed to live without her?!"

"What the hell are you yammering about?" Jeff asked flatly, tediously rising to his feet with his arms wrapped around a wiggling, squirming Jamie. "Junie's not going anywhere! I mean, yeah, she's got that weird business dinner tonight, but it ain't like she's up and leaving us forever!"

"SHE IS!" the young detective roared, startling both Jeff and Jamie so much that they both jumped back a good five feet. "She's seeing someone behind our backs, and she's fucking in love with him, Hardy! She's fucking in _love_!"

At this sudden, heart rendering accusation, Jeff's jaw promptly hit the floor, while Jamie stared at John with wide, horrified brown eyes.

_WHAT?! NOOOOO! Daddy John, it can't be true! Say it isn't so! Mommy can't be cheating on you, Daddy Jeff, and Daddy Randy! She CAN'T be!_

"You serious, Cena?" the rainbow-haired artist finally choked out, his voice lower and more solemn than he intended it to be. "You…you're joshing, right? C-come on! Junie's our best friend! She'd definitely tell us if she was dating anyone! R-remember when she started dating Todd? The two of them were so lovey-dovey that they literally made everyone sick! And it was more than obvious to _everyone _how much they loved each other!"

"Tell me about it," John grumbled, feeling the familiar pangs of jealousy resurface in his heart. "Stupid Todd, making his move before I was ready."

"Lay off it, Cena!" Jeff scolded. "It's your own fault for pussyfooting around Junie the way you did back then! Someone was bound to come and steal her out from under your nose, and Todd took his chance when he finally had it! Besides…you ain't Junie's type anyway, so it doesn't matter."

"How do you know she's not my type?" the young detective demanded, glaring at Jeff in irritation. "What makes you think she's not my type? You don't even like her that way anyway, so how the hell would you know what Junie likes or doesn't like in a guy?"

"Err…well…" Blushing, Jeff fumbled about for a moment before clearing his throat loudly and quickly regaining his wits. "Look, this ain't about me! I'm just saying that I don't know why you're rambling like this! What proof do you have that our girl's even dating anyone anyway?"

"I saw him," John replied darkly. "I saw him today, with my own eyes. I went to the hospital, trying to get Junie's umbrella to her since I heard it was going to rain tonight…and when I got to where her office was, I saw him! That—that _douchebag_! It was that overgrown, muscle bound, steroid abusing hack of a doctor who was with Junie during her labor period!"

"_What?!_" Jeff's green eyes widened to impossible sizes, and he stared at John in complete disbelief. "You mean—you saw her with _him_? That huge doctor guy who almost strangled Orton last year, right in the middle of the streets?!"

"Does it look like I'm telling a fucking joke? He was holding Junie in his arms like she was his goddamn bride, and she made no effort to move away! In fact, that asshole was looking at her like he wanted to take her right there against the wall, and she looked like she was ready and willing!"

"I—I—" Jeff sputtered indignantly, his words jumbling in his mouth while Jamie began to wail unhappily at this sudden development.

_No! This can't be true! Mommy's not that kind of person, Daddy John! You must have seen things wrong! You must have made a horrible mistake! YOU NEED GLASSES!_

"No way." The rainbow-haired artist swallowed thickly, moving completely on auto-pilot as he stroked Jamie's back in an attempt to calm her down. "I can't believe this. She's not…she wouldn't! For the love of everything holy, what exactly did you see_, _Cena?"

John sighed, pulling off his cap and running a hand through his short, cropped hair. "Hardy, this is _exactly _what went down…"

* * *

**John's Mind Theater...**

_June squealed as the hulking brute of a man swept her off her feet. Batista smirked at her as he held her bridal style, his bulky body pressed against hers as June's arms linked loosely behind his neck. _

"_Oh, doctor!" the beautiful young mother sighed, leaning her head against his broad shoulders. "Although you're probably the biggest douchebag on the planet, I somehow find myself attracted to your overly large muscles and your incredibly ill-endowed package!"_

_Batista grinned wolfishly at June before he dipped his head down to capture her soft lips with his. She brought her hands from around his neck to either side of his cheeks as she deepened the kiss._

_When they broke apart, the large doctor arched his eyebrow seductively towards her before carrying her off towards the back of the dark room…_

* * *

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA!" Jeff's eyes widened and his face turned a sickening shade of green. "W-what the fuck, man? Did Junie really kiss him?!"

"Yeah!" John swore adamantly. Then, he stopped and thought hard for a moment. "Um, wait. Waaaaaaaait. Let me think. Um…maybe."

Silence.

Then, a hard glare. "Define what 'maybe' means, Cena. And think _hard_ this time!"

"Okay, so maybe I didn't actually see them kiss," John admitted. "And maybe she wasn't giggling and throwing herself at him like a horny teenager. And maybe he didn't exactly carry her off into the back of the room—"

"So what happened wasn't _anything_ like the garbage you spewed out just now!" Jeff yelled, outraged. "For the love of god, I can't believe you, Cena! You made me think Junie was—and we all know she _wouldn't_—I can't believe you!"

"But—but—" John flailed helplessly. "I really did see Junie in that bastard's arms! She was just letting him hold her and he was giving her Bedroom Eyes, and…and…it just didn't _look _right, okay?!"

"…"

"…"

Jeff groaned and slapped a hand against his forehead, with Jamie mimicking his actions. "I think my brain just exploded. Jamie, do you see anything grey and yucky oozing out of Daddy Jeff's ears?"

"Ahhhhh!" _I don't see anything, Daddy Jeff…but maybe we should check to see if Daddy John has a problem with __**his**__ brain. How could he even think that mommy would cheat on him, you, or Daddy Randy? It's ridiculous! Mommy loves the three of you, and she would never, ever, EVER kiss anyone else!_

"Don't you make fun of me!" John roared, snatching Jamie away from Jeff's arms. Holding the little baby tightly to his body in an attempt to comfort himself, he glared at the rainbow-haired artist, who watched all of this with a nonplussed look on his face. "I'm telling you, we have to talk to Junie about this! What if Orton's right? Even if she doesn't really like the guy, I can guarantee that this douchebag was undressing Junie with his eyes! He might try to steal her away from us!"

Jeff snorted and shook his head. "First of all, Orton is excessively psychotic and paranoid. He's got anger management issues and that weird IED shit, remember? He's rarely ever _right _about anything, especially in matters concerning Junie. How many times has he shouted to the rooftops that he hated her?"

"Well…" John frowned. "Well, _yeah_, but…"

"Second, he's always wanted to foist her off on some other guy long before Jamie was even born. It doesn't surprise me that he might have seen something between Junie and this Batista guy that was never even there in the first place."

_WHAT?! _Jamie's little jaw dropped at this revelation, and her brown eyes widened in abrupt horror. _Daddy Randy wanted to get rid of mommy? How COULD he? I thought he loved her! That—that big fat cheeseball! I hate him! I'll never speak to him again! I HAVE NO DADDY RANDY!_

"Hey now…" John gently patted the agitated baby on the back, whispering to her soothingly. "Calm down, baby girl. Daddy's had a bad day, but none of it is aimed at you."

"GAAAAAACK!"

"There, there…"

"Look Cena," Jeff finally said, crossing his arms as he shook the unpleasant thoughts out of his head. "I ain't gonna jump to any conclusions. I don't know what the hell you think you saw—"

"I know _exactly _what I saw!" the young detective snapped, his fists clenched.

"—but frankly, I don't give a shit," Jeff finished, ignoring John's outbursts. "I'm gonna give Junie the benefit of the doubt, and _calmly _ask her what happened when she gets back from her business dinner tonight. Unlike you and Orton, I actually trust our girl, and I'm not gonna throw a hissy fit every time she so much as breathes in the direction of another man! Hell, maybe she was changing a light bulb and fell, and that doctor caught her before she hit her head on the floor or something!"

"Hardy, that sort of thing never happens in real life," John stated testily. "Shit like that only happens in poorly written, third-rate fanfiction stories."

"Stuff it, Cena! I ain't talking about this anymore, so just drop it! When Junie gets home, she'll clear everything up, so leave it alone!"

"But Hardy!"

"Leave it alone and shut up! By god, you're becoming as bad as Orton!"

"Now you're hitting below the belt, asshole!"

* * *

**A/N: I know it's been too long, I'm so sorry! But I have a full time job that requires a lot of my time and energy, and it's my number one priority at the moment. I've been writing this thing **_**paragraphs **_**at a time for the past month, and even now, this isn't the whole chapter.**

**In fact, the Poker Tournament arc will take up quite a few chapters, because I'm going to have to break them up this story arc again. And possibly again. And again. Randy, Dave, and a whole slew of other characters were supposed to show up in this chapter, but that would have taken at least another two weeks to write, and I know you guys have been patient enough already. All I can say is I'm sorry.**

**Anyway, new poll results!**

**Randy Orton: 32 votes **

**John Cena: 14 votes**

**Jeff Hardy: 13 votes**

**Have Them All: 11 votes**

**Dave Batista: 4 votes**

**Todd Grisham: 1 vote**

**Live for Herself and Jamie: 1 vote**


	38. They're Only Powerful When

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-Eight: They're Only Powerful When You've Got Your Back Turned**

_I don't know if you guys know this, but businessmen are mean._

_No disrespect to Daddy Randy, but it's true! They're just the worst kind of people you could ever run into. They're jerks! And the proof of it is, they don't even trust each other. Seriously! They just don't trust each another! They'd rather eat each other's eyeballs then be friends. They're NUTS!_

_From what I learned from Daddy John, this is what all the corporate big shots do. When a businessman has to sit down to negotiate a deal, the first thing he does is automatically assume that the other guy is a complete lying doodie-head who's trying to trick him outta all his money. So he's gotta do everything he can to trick the other guy a little bit faster and a little bit harder. And he's gotta do it with a big smile on his face. You know that big, fake smile where a person shows way too much teeth and looks like they're going to eat you?_

_Yeah. THAT smile. _

_A good example is Daddy Randy and Mr. Hunter. They're both pretty talented businessmen, they both know each other, they pretend to be friends with one another, and I think mommy said that Mr. Hunter was actually Daddy Randy's teacher! But they don't trust each other. They may be working together for the moment, but I know that they're just waiting for the other person to make a mistake…and then…WHAM! Smack to the face, sucka!_

_Ugh. I hate it! Why can't they just get along? Grownups are so stupid sometimes… _

_That's not all though. If they don't even like __**each other**__, then imagine what they do to ordinary people like you and me? If you happen to be one of their customers—watch out! That's when you get the reeeeeeeeally big smile! Customers always get that reeeeeeeally big smile, as the businessman carefully tricks them into paying a bazillion times more money than they should. And once the customer pays all that money, he's got absolutely no chance in getting it back, even if he figures out that he's been tricked. It's horrible, it's cruel…but apparently, that's business._

_I know I said this before, but I really __**hate **__the business world._

_After I learned all this, I told Daddy Randy what Daddy John told me. I told Daddy Randy that I thought he was nothing but a terrible meanie head and that me and mommy weren't going to talk to him anymore until he changed his horrible, horrible ways. Ten minutes later, Daddy Randy gave Daddy John an RKO, and he punched Daddy Jeff in the face when Daddy Jeff tried to stop the fight._

…

_I think Daddy Randy really needs to work on those anger management issues of his._

* * *

The Royal Hustler Resort was well known for many things. It was known for its beautiful scenery and great atmosphere. It was known for its abundance of pleasant activities and more-than-occasional guilty pleasures (this was particularly true for those who spent a majority of their time near the casino portion of the area). People loved the resort's preference for moderate development, ever soothing greenery and constant improvisation for the convenience of its guests, which made it a nice place for recreational activities and private events.

All of these reasons were precisely why Vickie Guerrero had chosen this location for Guerrero Hospital's Annual Charity Poker Tournament.

At the moment, every staff member of the resort was running around frantically, trying to get all of the preparations finished for the evening's main event. By five o'clock, the interior of Royal Hustler Resort had been turned into the function's venue. The black, gleaming granite of the floor had been mopped and polished and waxed until the reflection of the ground rivaled that of a mirror's. The front façade, completely made of glass, had been wiped to sheer spotlessness. And the ceilings of both the Blue and Red Rooms were decorated with a multitude of soft lights and grand flower decorations, the flowers carefully arranged and color-coded to match the respective scheme of the rooms.

As men and women scurried around, adding the final touches to the decorations, the food, and the festivities, competitors for the poker tournament slowly began to trickle into the resort, some pausing to admire the magnificent ice sculptures arranged at the banquet tables, while others made a beeline for the well-stocked bar located in the Purple Lounge, which was conveniently located smack dab in the middle of the Blue and Red Rooms. A few guests took the elevators toward the beautiful Green Garden, which was located at the roof of the resort, while two men in particular immediately headed into the Red Room.

The smaller of the men was walking ahead in a huff, pouting and grumbling loudly to himself as his larger companion rolled his eyes at his friend's display of immaturity.

"Shawn," Hunter grunted in annoyance, "that's enough. Stop it."

"…"

"Come on, Shawn! You can't give me the cold shoulder just because I did _one _thing you didn't approve of! We're grown men, for crying out loud! Besides, it's not like it'll be gone forever!"

"…"

Hunter hung his head. Standing mutely by his side was his best friend and lifelong business partner, Shawn Michaels, who was currently not sparing him a single glance or giving him any indication that he was even listening to him. Both of them were dressed in sharp, clear-cut, Emporio Armani one-button suits for the poker tournament, with one of the few differences being that Hunter's outfit was a deep grey, while Shawn's was black and came with a matching black cowboy hat. They also would have had long, blonde, matching hairstyles in addition to their similar outfits, had Hunter not made a very startling decision to alter his physical appearance just two hours prior to tonight's main event.

In place of his long, thin blond locks…was now a thin, barely visible buzz cut.

And Shawn loathed it beyond words.

"You're being a baby you know," Hunter said pointblank, glaring at his so-called companion. "Stephanie and Aurora happen to love my new hairstyle. And those bald people who are getting my hair for their surgical implants are absolutely ecstatic! If they don't have a problem, then I don't see why you have to have one."

"You don't get it!" Shawn cried out, finally breaking his silence as he turned to Hunter with a startlingly hurt expression. "You cut your hair!"

"Thanks for stating the obvious, buddy," Hunter remarked dryly.

"You _cut_ your _hair_!"

"I heard you the first time, Shawn."

"How could you cut your hair?! We're supposed to be the long-lost twin brothers of DX Conglomerate! Barring the fact that we were born to completely different sets of parents, have two completely different last times, not look alike in the slightest and have undeniably disproportionate body builds…we are totally twins in the spiritual sense!" The Heartbreak Kid struck his fist against his chest dramatically, holding his head up high. "Our long hair was part of our _signature_! They were part of what made us _DX_! And now I don't even know who you are!"

Hunter groaned and rolled his eyes. "You're being overdramatic! I'm still me!"

"No, you're not!" Shawn wailed. "You look like—like a cheap, beefed up version of _Vince_!"

"…"

"…"

"…you just _had_ to hit below the belt, didn't you Shawn?"

"Oh my god, you're right. That was beyond brutal…I'm sorry." Shawn lowered his head in shame. "You know I didn't mean it. But…" He looked up at Hunter with a teary look in his eyes. "You just cut your hair so _suddenly_. You didn't even give me a proper heads up so I could mentally prepare myself!"

The Cerebral Assassin sighed and placed a comforting hand on Shawn's shoulder. "I know, I know. But this was sort of a last minute decision. You remember that disgusting, putrid, vomit-colored suit I told you about? The one Steph was trying like a lunatic to make me wear at all costs?"

Shawn thought hard for a minute, his brows furrowed in contemplation, before his eyes suddenly lit up in amusement. "Oh yeah! That's the one that looked like it was dyed with spoiled, rotten, thousand-year-old baby doody, right?"

"…yeah." Hunter's eye twitched slightly at Shawn's less-than-tact description, but the smaller man took no notice of it.

"Dude," Shawn continued, wiping away a fake tear, "I had a good laugh when you showed me the picture of _that_ outfit! So, what about it? What does that atrocity of a suit have to do with your hideous haircut?"

"First of all," Hunter retorted testily through gritted teeth, "my hair is _not _hideous! And as to how the suit relates to my new look…well, while there is no doubt that my wife is unbelievably sexy even when pregnant, it seems that her pregnancy hormones have scrambled up both her brains and her temper." He scowled and gave the Heartbreak Kid an aggravated glare. "She gave me an ultimatum, Shawn. Either I wear that eyesore of a suit…or cut my hair. Failure to do either option would have meant no sex for _six months_."

"…"

"…"

"Dude, I am so sorry."

"I know, Shawn. I know." Hunter sighed, but he lifted his head and gave his friend a cheerful grin. "But hey, I made my choice. You should have seen the shocked look on her face when I chose to cut my hair instead of putting on the suit! She didn't expect that at all." He smirked in triumph. "I may have had to sacrifice my hair, but I still have my dignity! Besides, grey looks a million times better on me than vomit-green, any day."

Shawn sniffed unhappily. "Still…I will miss you Rapunzel."

"I know you will."

Just then, they heard a loud, amused laugh coming from the other end of the room, and Hunter turned to see a rather mirthful Randy Orton following a none-too-pleased Adam Copeland into the Red Room. The second their eyes fell upon the Ultimate Opportunist, Hunter and Shawn's jaws simultaneously hit the floor, the former genuinely stunned at what he saw while the latter, who was far less tact about his mannerisms, immediately blurted out, "Holy crap on a stick, what the hell did you do to your hair, Copeland?!"

"For the love of fucking god!" Edge swore loudly, his hands immediately flying to his now shortened and cropped hair as he glared at the chortling Legend Killer. "You lying little snake!" he hissed furiously. "You promised me it wasn't that noticeable! That's the _seventh_ person who spazzed at me in twenty minutes!"

Randy rolled his eyes at Edge's tantrum. "Come on, you're acting like it's the first time I ever lied to you. What are you going to do, sue me?"

"I am _seriously _considering it!"

Scoffing, Randy ignored the fuming man beside him as he threw an inquisitive look towards Hunter's own altered hairstyle. "Is everyone getting a makeover today or something? What happened to _your_ head, Hunter? It looks almost as bad as Copeland's."

"Your attempts at currying my favor absolutely suck, Orton," Hunter said flatly, as Edge uttered venomous murder threats towards Randy under his breath. "And if you must know, I felt that a change in my appearance was long overdue. Short hair is classier, easier to manage, more with the modern times—"

"Stephanie made him do it," Shawn piped up. "Threatened to withhold sex from him if he didn't either get a haircut or wear a vomit-colored suit."

"…"

The following silence was so thick that it was practically suffocating the four men in the room. Randy's jaw hung open stupidly at the last comment, while Edge stared at the Cerebral Assassin in a mixture of surprise, amusement…and strangely enough, pity. Hunter didn't notice this, however. He was a bit too focused on trying not to strangle Shawn where he stood, a temptation that was getting harder and harder to resist due to the fact that the man was currently giving him the biggest, most disgusting looking puppy dog eyes a forty-four year old man could conjure up.

"What?" Shawn said innocently, grinning at Hunter's darkening expression. "What'd I do? Why's your face getting all pinched and purplish?"

Hunter glared at him.

"Le gasp!Was I _not_ supposed to mention that to other people, oh buddy oh pal of mine?"

Hunter's fingers twitched dangerously, as if he was itching to wrap them around a certain, scrawny, balding man's windpipe…

"Should have said something if you didn't want me to mention that. I'm not exactly a mind reader, you know."

"So Hunter!" Randy said hurriedly, quickly regaining the use of his voice as his former mentor took a rather menacing step towards Shawn, "W-where's Stephanie? Didn't you two arrive together?"

"…no." Unclenching his teeth (which took more than a little effort on his part), Hunter managed to swallow down his anger as he forced a jagged smile towards the young Legend Killer. "We decided to come separately. Steph didn't want to walk in me; said something about how my grey suit would clash with her olive green dress or something like that. Fashion meltdown, she called it."

Randy blinked. "Fashion what-now? What the hell does that even mean? Green goes fine with grey!"

"I know! I have no idea what she's saying anymore. I blame it on her insane trimester period, or whatever stage she's in at the moment." Hunter groaned and rolled his eyes. "Thank god she's almost at the end of her pregnancy. But speaking of lovely dates for the evening…" He glanced around the room curiously, frowning when he realized that it was still only the four of them. "Where's Sam? Is she here?"

"Not yet," Randy replied, shrugging nonchalantly. "She's probably coming with Vickie or Stephanie or…someone. I told her I would meet her here and that was it."

Hunter raised a brow. "That's it? That doesn't sound like something a loving boyfriend would do." He sat down on one of the nearby red chairs and patted his knee loudly, gesturing for the younger man to sit on it. "Is there trouble in paradise, Randy? Do you want to sit upon my jolly old knee and talk about it? I'm here for you."

"Lay off before I hammer you with an RKO, you perverted old coot!" Randy snapped irritably. "Sam and I are fine! We don't need to be around one another twenty-four hours a day to know we care about each other, and frankly—"

"They've plateaued," Edge cut in dryly, earning him an infuriated glower from the Legend Killer. "It's obvious that he's bored and tired of her, but he doesn't want to break things off after putting _so _much time and effort into his pathetic excuse for a relationship. Besides, he needs her tonight for the sake of being his beautiful armpiece. Am I right, young Randal?"

The blond Canadian leaned over and wrapped a would-be comforting arm around the younger man, which Randy immediately shoved off in disgust. "Don't you fucking touch me!" Randy yelled. "And stop calling me Randal! No one asked for your opinion, so don't go making rude assumptions on other people's personal lives!"

"Come off your high horse!" Edge retorted, scoffing loudly. "You act as if I have nothing better to do with my time than poke and pry into your mundane life!"

"You mean you don't?" Randy asked sarcastically.

"For your information, _Randal_—" here, Edge smirked as a muscle in Randy's jaw began to work furiously "—I'm actually more interested in poking and prying into the mundane life of an overgrown behemoth of a doctor who actually thinks he can tangle with me and Vickie. It's fun to mess with his head and watch him blow up. The homunculus and that Mexican midget sidekick of his both erupt like a _volcano _when you finally get them to their boiling points, heh heh…"

Hunter scowled coldly at Edge. "I thought I told you not to call him that, Copeland. Well, the midget maybe, but not _him_."

"Right, right." The blond gave the Cerebral Assassin a knowing smirk. "He's your best friend or something, isn't he? Say, how's he doing with that little assistant of his? Did he finally screw her brains out, or is he still too chicken to fuck her? Because if he is…"

"You, Shawn, and Big Show haven't won the bet yet, Copeland!" Hunter growled, closing the distance between himself and Edge before poking a finger hard against the younger man's chest. "He's called 'The Animal,' for a reason, you know! Mark my words; she'll be the next notch on his bedpost any day now!"

"..huh?" Throughout all this, Randy had been staring at Edge and Hunter with a confused look on his face. "Um, what are you two talking about? What bet?"

"It's nothing you need to wrap your head around, kid," Shawn reassured him, as Edge and Hunter continued to bicker in the background. "They're just talking this big, dopey doctor at Vickie's hospital. He's got this cute assistant that he practically _salivates _over every time he sees her, but the dummy won't make a move."

"And it's totally killing my thousand dollar bet!" Hunter groaned. "He was supposed to have hooked up with her three months ago! Damn it all, after sleeping with all those women, how can he decide to turn stupid over the wimpiest one of them all?"

"I told you it's because he's introverted!" Shawn explained, frowning. "He's used to women throwing themselves at him. From what I've seen, the girl's too timid to do something like that. Hell, they're _both_ way too shy to make a move on one another! It'll never happen. My five hundred dollars' worth of chocolate chip cookies says so."

Randy tilted his head to the side, his blue eyes filled with curiosity. "You guys seriously bet that much money on this? This must be one extremely frustrating couple."

"Tell me about it," Hunter muttered. "Orton, if you've ever seen these two, you just want to grab them by the head and bash their skulls against one another. I mean, at first it was kind of funny to see the oaf stumble all over her, but now it's just sad and depressing."

"You know, you should join the bet too, Randal!" Edge said, his eyes suddenly shining mischievously. "Take a good look at the buffoon and the little lady, and tell us your thoughts on if they'll get together or not."

"Really?" Randy raised an interested brow. "Well…how big is the pot?"

"Over two-thirds of the hospital already joined in!" Shawn replied with a grin. "Even the interns and residency doctors put in their two cents! It's gotten into the hundreds of thousands now, but at this point, it's more about obtaining bragging rights than anything else." He then paused and pursed his lips. "I still say they'll never work up the courage to admit their feelings towards one another unless something catastrophic happens to them."

"Shut up Shawn," Hunter growled. "He'll come through, mark my words! Ric and I have faith in him, even if you and Copeland here don't!"

Surprise immediately lined the Legend Killer's face, and his jaw dropped slightly from shock. "Ric's in on this too? Are you telling me this pot's gone outside the hospital?!"

"Yup, yup!" The Heartbreak Kid's grin was now so wide that it would have made even the Cheshire Cat jealous. "We've got people of all shapes, sizes, and professions in on this, and they've submitted every possible scenario for a hookup—or breakup—they could imagine! So, Randy…once again…you want in? Huh? Huh? Do ya, do ya, do ya?" Shawn pulled out a notepad and pen from the inside of his coat pocket and stared at Randy eagerly. Too eagerly. In fact, he stared at Randy so eagerly that the younger man was starting to feel a bit creeped out.

"Um…" Randy coughed nervously and looked away. "A-actually, maybe I'll take a look at the couple first before I make any rash decisions. I want to have a leg to stand on before I start predicting the happiness or demise of two people's love lives."

"Aww." Shawn put the pen and paper away in disappointment. "Spoilsport. Hunter—" he turned to the Cerebral Assassin with a pout "—you were right. Orton's no fun at all!"

"Why do you think he's no longer my protégée?" Hunter replied carelessly, earning a cry of protest from the Legend Killer.

"Oh come on! That's not nice, man!"

"Ignore them, Randal," Edge said calmly, pulling the now disgruntled Randy away from Hunter and Shawn. "It's actually pretty smart to wait it out. But trust me, after you take one look at the dumbass and the woman, you'll know they won't make it."

"Is that so?"

"Definitely. In fact…" The blond's lips curved into a strange smile, and he let out a soft chuckle. "After you take one look at the woman, you might be pretty surprised. She's a little wisp of a thing, like Hunter said, but…I think you might like her."

Randy's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Hey. What are you implying? You know I have to finish my shit with Sam before I even think about straying."

"I know!" Edge quickly held up his hands in a pacifying gesture. "I'm just saying you might like her. Might remind you of someone…familiar. You might even consider her as someone on the side for now instead of later, if things really are that boring with Samantha. Why wait, after all? Dick waving is dick waving, whether you do it now or in five years."

Randy's eyes narrowed. Despite his personal opinion of infidelity and his own shaky loyalty to Sam, he didn't want to hear his own thoughts pour out of from the lips of one of his most dangerous business associates. "Copeland, I don't care if we _are _friends. If you open your fucking mouth about Sam one more time—"

"Oh, never mind!" Edge waved Randy off carelessly with one hand. "Forget I said anything. Let's just head to the Purple Lounge, alright? I want some drinks in my system before my lovely fiancée shows up and makes me listen to how many stupid bridesmaid dresses her daughters tried on today."

* * *

Dave pulled at the collar of his suit nervously, telling himself that if he ever, ever, _ever_ said yes to one of Vickie's stupid charity galas again, he would give Rey permission to shoot him point blank with a forty-five caliber handgun.

Despite wearing a very fashionable, black wool, two-button Gucci suit with flat front pants, he didn't feel comfortable or relaxed at all. He found the tie to be too constricting, the material too stiff. While he did have several suits all hidden away in the back of his closet, they were all gathering dust and cobwebs from long periods of disuse. He preferred his jeans and his tee-shirts—dressing up so formally simply wasn't his style.

It was seriously affecting his mood. Hell, he barely walked through the front doors of the resort and already he was grumpy, his countenance fiercely grim as he kept tugging at his jacket sleeves. His fidgeting wasn't lost on the couple who accompanied him inside, the couple who consisted of one very beautiful but very pregnant Angie Mysterio, along with a scrubbed, polished, tuxedo-clad Rey Mysterio who was finally appearing in public without his ever present surgical mask.

"Hey man, what's wrong?" Rey inquired tentatively, not sure how much of Dave's temper was likely to be directed at him. "You alright? You're muttering."

"I don't mutter," the Animal muttered absentmindedly as he pulled at the knot of his tie. Rey frowned; it was clear that Dave had been yanking at the offending neckwear for a while now. Even from the Hispanic doctor's somewhat distant vantage point, he could see that the knot was firmly embedded in Dave's collar, crumpled, tight, and unyielding.

"You might want to ease up on choking yourself to death, big guy," Rey commented quietly as he looked at Dave's eyes, which were smoldering with frustration. "It's kind of a bad sign when you're already this worked up and you haven't even lost any money yet."

Dave's mouth curved into a scowl. "I'm not worked up. Stop mothering me."

"He's not mothering you," Angie protested gently, giving Dave such a warm smile that he felt a little ashamed for having snapped so quickly. "A person would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to feel the tension radiating off you. Are you alright?"

"I'm…I'm…" Dave tugged at his tie one more time, before he sighed and let it go. "I'm fine. I'm just a little uncomfortable, that's all. You know I'm not usually one for dressing up."

"That's true," Rey agreed, chuckling. "You always get a bit cranky when you have to dress up."

"I don't get cranky _all_ the time!"

"You do too!" The Hispanic doctor then thought for a moment, before he gave Dave a brazen grin. "Well, maybe you're not totally cranky tonight. Maybe you're also nervous on account of a certain lovely, dark-haired _senora_ that will be joining our table for the games…?"

Dave's tan cheeks immediately turned a dark shade of red, the sight of which caused Angie to giggle. "I don't know what you're talking about," the large doctor replied gruffly. "I don't have a date tonight. You're talking nonsense."

"So June is nonsense to you then? I get it." Rey nudged his friend in the side with a too-innocent, too-playful look on his face. "In that case, I guess you won't mind that I ask for a quick change to the seating arrangements? I can have June sit at a separate table with Jericho. She can keep him distracted and away from us all night! That's definitely a good trade-off, don't you think?"

"Don't you DARE!" Dave yelled, the words flying out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "I want June sitting with _me_! That stupid, sparkle-obsessed bastard is going to try to hog her all night, and he'll never let her leave his sight if I'm not there to act as a buffer!"

"Aaaaaaand that's the Dave I know and love," Rey replied, laughing at the reddening hue in the large doctor's face. "Chill holmes! You know I was just messing with you. There's no way I'm going to leave June with Jericho. What kind of monster do you think I am?"

"The kind who forgets to buy his wife lemons when she has her periodic sour cravings," Angie said calmly, earning her an exasperated sigh from her slightly shorter husband.

"Angie, that only happened once! Besides, I already apologized seventy-three times for forgetting the blasted lemons! When are you going to let that go? I went out and brought you a million citrus fruits of all flavors the very next day, didn't I?"

"I know." Angie smiled and quickly pecked the pouting Rey on the cheek, diffusing some of his irritation. "And you know I love you for it, _Cariño_. That's why I am yours, and you are mine."

"As engraved on our rings," Rey murmured, staring at his golden wedding band with a small smile on his face. He looked up at his wife with loving eyes, his frustration melting away. "Oh, Angie…"

Angie lifted a hand and caressed her husband's smooth cheek. "Oh, Rey…"

"Oh, _Angie_…"

"Oh, _Rey_…"

"Oh, cut it out!" Dave groaned loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to ignore the overly amorous couple in front of him. "We're in public, and not everyone in the building wants to see you two go at it!"

Rey snorted loudly, pulling away from his wife as he fixed Dave with an apathetic look. "We are not going at it, you big baby. And if I recall, you were a hundred times worse than Angie and me in terms of public affection when you were dating Melina! You two used to freaking make out in the hospital hallways!"

"_Madre de Dios_," Angie murmured, her cheeks becoming pink at the memory. "Dave, I still remember that time I brought Dominik over for his annual checkup! You and that frigid woman were both sitting in the waiting room, and she was on your _lap _of all places—"

"—and I very quickly broke up with her a few weeks later," Dave reminded her quickly, "because she was becoming a bit too frisky and obsessed with me! I'm not into those kinds of women anymore, you and Rey know that!"

"It's true," Rey agreed, his tone thoughtful. "He's into a different type of woman now. He likes them kinda small, with long dark hair, big brown eyes, and a personality so sweet that it gives you diabetes…"

"She sounds like my kind of woman!" a new voice remarked loudly, causing the trio to quickly turn towards the direction of the speaker.

Their eyes fell upon a tall, muscular man of mixed heritage who was dressed in a jet-black, custom fit, tailor-made Alexander Amosu Bespoke suit. As he came towards them, a slight swagger clearly visible in his steps, Angie and Rey stared the newcomer in curiosity, having never seen him before. But Dave immediately slapped a hand to his forehead and groaned, knowing at once who the man was and what he was gearing up to do.

"Dwayne," he said quickly, hoping he could cut the prosecutor off at the helm, "this isn't the time or place for your antics, and I don't think—"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!" the man yelled, causing everyone within hearing distance to nearly jump out of their skins at the ear-splitting shriek. "None of your thought processes matter, and let me tell you why—"

"For the love of god, Johnson…"

"None of it matters," Dwayne went on, one finger poking the Animal hard in the chest, "because the Rock is going to tell you exactly what he's going to do to everyone in this building during the next couple of hours. Through the guise of playing cards, the Rock will take you down Know Your Role Boulevard—"

"Somebody please stop him," Dave groaned aloud, rubbing his temples with one hand.

"—which is on the corner of Jabroni Drive—"

"_Anyone_?"

"—and check you directly into the Smackdown Hotel! And he will wipe the floor with each and every one of your candyasses, and emerge as the rightful victor of this year's _Charity—Poker—Tournament_!" The prosecutor paused dramatically in-between the final words, as if letting them sink into the atmosphere. Glancing at Dave, who had an extremely pained look on his face, Dwayne smirked before resuming his public monologue in front of the growing crowd of women (who had all gathered there upon hearing the strange commotion, and stayed because they were all instantly captivated by Dwayne Johnson's strange, alluring charisma). "Yes, the Rock will emerge victorious, and the Rock will take this year's Championship Pot in the name of the Starlight Children's Foundation, because _finally_…"

"Take cover, guys," Dave muttered to Rey and Angie, who were both inching towards the door as Dwayne rambled on. "This is going to get ugly."

"FINALLY!" Dwayne repeated with much more gusto. "The Rock has come back, to THE ROYAL HUSTLER RESORT!"

The women squealed and shrieked and swooned to the ground, completely taken in by the prosecutor's stimulating words…until a loud, disbelieving snort abruptly cut through the rowdy cheers.

"Getting a head start on making the women faint and have broody babies in your honor, Prosecutor Johnson?" Haley Mariano said mockingly, crossing her arms over her chest as she approached the prosecutor with a cocky smile. The auburn-haired lawyer glanced at her watch and tutted loudly. "For shame! It's not even time for the cocktails, and you're already getting ahead of yourself! You're not making a good impression on my co-workers, I'll have you know."

The People's Champion scoffed indignantly, turning away from a nonplussed Dave, Rey, and Angie while fixing Haley with a challenging stare. "Madam Attorney, you should know better than anyone that no matter where I am, what I do, or who I speak to, people always, _always_ leave with a lasting impression of me afterwards."

"A good impression…or a bad one?" Haley commented with a smirk.

"That depends on which side of the courtroom you stand on." Dwayne smirked back, before he reached out and grabbed Haley's hand, pulling her in for a tight embrace. "Missed you, Haley baby," he murmured into her hair, holding her close. "The DA's Office just isn't the same without my protégée."

"You mean your _former _protégée," Ken corrected haughtily, coming up behind Haley and kissing her noisily on the cheek, much to Dwayne's displeasure. "She's on the right side of the law now, Johnson. She's no longer a slave to the restrictions and decrees of the DA's Office…and I love how she's an absolute pro at getting me out of those stupid traffic charges!"

"Kennedy Kennedy, you know that I hate being reminded of that, right?" Dwayne stated dryly, his earlier mirth quickly evaporating. "I see you at your stupid barbeques every year—"

"HEY! I thought you liked my barbeques!"

"—and you know," Dwayne went on, barreling past Ken's infuriated outbursts, "that more than _anything_,I hate being reminded of how Haley was essentially _stolen_ from me by a man who makes a jackass like Paul Heyman seem nothing more than a fat, idiotic schoolgirl with a bad eating disorder. You know that…" His hardened face was now only inches away from Ken's scowling one. "_Don't you_?"

"Children, behave!" Haley shoved her way in between the two men and slapped them both hard on their chests in between words, resulting in several pained, high-pitched yelps from the both of them. "BE-HAVE! How old are you guys, five?! Keep up that kind of talk and I might just run off and schmooze with Edge, Vickie, and Hunter all night long!"

"What? HALEY!" Dwayne gaped at her in utter shock and disbelief, while Ken let out a furious, "How DARE you say such blasphemous things, woman?"

"Oh, shut it!" The young lawyer made a noise of exasperation, before turning to Dave, Rey, and Angie with an apologetic smile. "Ignore the two…um, _gentlemen _you see before you. Their mouth jabbers away before their brains can properly process the words."

"We sort of got that impression," Rey mumbled, as Angie clung nervously to his arm. "Those two better not cause my wife to give birth prematurely, I'm warning you right now."

Haley put her hands up in a pacifying gesture. "If you're in the Blue Room, then you're fine. I'm keeping these two in the Red Room, with their butts planted right by my side."

"Somehow, that just doesn't reassure me," Dave muttered privately to Rey, who nodded in agreement. He then looked up, staring around the room curiously. "Haley, where's June? I thought the two of you were coming in together?"

"We did!" Haley turned her gaze towards the rows and rows of beautiful ice sculptures that were placed near the extravagantly long tables of food. "She's just looking at some of the artwork right now. They're really amazing this year, you know that? Did you know they've made two that look like perfect replicas of Vickie and Edge?"

"Don't remind me, Haley Baby," Dwayne moaned, covering his eyes with one hand. "I actually lost my vision for about six minutes due to the atrocity of such a sight."

"Absolutely sucked," Ken agreed. "I'd smash them into ice cubes if that witch Guerrero didn't have all these security guards running around everywhere."

Haley frowned and smacked her boyfriend in the arm. "What did I just say, Ken? Behave! Behaving includes not smashing things that will undoubtedly anger the very ill-tempered hostess of this event!"

"I agree," a soft, quiet voice suddenly commented from behind Haley. "Vickie's been in a foul mood since we left the hospital. I wouldn't advise irritating her any further, Ken."

Dave's face immediately brightened up when he recognized June's familiar, soothing voice. Turning towards the dark-haired woman, he opened his mouth, a greeting ready on his lips…

…when he suddenly choked on his own tongue at the vision of loveliness before him.

"Holy son-of-a-gun!" Rey exclaimed, laughing as he and Angie crowded around the grinning young mother. "Is that you, _senora_? I didn't recognize you!"

Ken snorted and threw an arm over June's shoulders, causing her to squeak in embarrassment. "I didn't recognize her either, and I actually knew this girl from many years ago! Oh, how you've blossomed, Barnett…"

"_Grisham_," June corrected, although a smile could be seen tugging the corners of her lips.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, June!" Angie greeted, her voice kind and cheerful as she tactfully maneuvered her way between Ken and the young mother. "Rey's told me so much about you and your little baby girl!"

June smiled shyly. "And he's told me so much about you, Dominik, and Aalyah! I'm so glad to finally meet you as well!"

"Rey, you were right! She is a sweetheart…"

"Well, I'll be damned." Dwayne let out a low whistle at the sight of the beautiful, dark-haired woman. Turning to Haley, he gave his former protégée a wicked grin. "And why, might I ask, have you kept your lovely friend from me all this time? Come on Haley baby, introduce us!"

"Hush you," Haley scolded, lightly elbowing the People's Champion in the stomach. "June's too sweet and gentle for someone as high-energy as you. Besides…" The young lawyer threw a quick glance at Dave, who was still staring at June with his mouth hanging open. "She and Dr. Batista are very fond of one another, if you catch my drift."

"They are?" Dwayne stared at both June and Dave, the latter still dumbstruck while the former kept averting her glances from the Animal like a timid schoolgirl. He groaned aloud. "You can't be serious…they're like _this_? For how long?"

"Dwayne!"

"Come on Haley, this is painful. Let me save the poor fools from their misery and—"

"Hush up, damn you! Leave them alone!"

Throughout all this, Dave stood absolutely still, completely forgetting everything and everyone around him except for the beautiful woman who stood in front of him. He knew he should be saying something…_anything_… but his tongue had turned to stone in his mouth.

Her pale skin gleaming under the light…the white dress that seemed to make her seem almost angelic in appearance…the sparkling diamonds giving her an otherworldly shine…the embarrassed smile on her face as she realized he was staring at her shamelessly, and the way her large brown eyes shyly averted to the floor…

There was no other word for it. June was _beautiful_. She was absolutely beautiful and for the life of him, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

"Dr. Batista?" June's cheeks had a slight pink hue to them as she tried to stay calm under his intense gaze. "Sir, are you alright? I-is there something on my face?"

He was more than alright, but his mouth didn't seem to want to listen to his brain. Hell, his entire _body _didn't seem to want to listen to his brain, which probably meant he _wasn't _alright and he was just in horrible denial. When he finally did manage to speak, his voice was nothing but a soft, gentle whisper.

"June…you look…you look beautiful."

The dark-haired woman grew somewhat flustered by Dave's compliment, and she gave him a nervous smile. "T-thank you, sir. You look quite handsome yourself…oh lord, did I just say that out loud?" June felt the blood rush to her cheeks and tried to hide her inflamed face behind her hands. "Don't look at me! Good lord, I must look like an overripe tomato…"

Dave merely chuckled, feeling himself calm down by her bashful, innocent demeanor. His earlier paralysis of the brain and body now fading, he offered her his arm gallantly, causing her to peek at him through her fingers in curiosity. Then, after a slight nudge forward from Rey ("Go on, _senora_…don't keep him waiting!"), June slowly stepped forward and linked her small arm through Dave's muscular one, giving him a small, gentle smile. In return, he gave her a grin so warm and bright that butterflies began to flutter madly in her stomach.

It was a strange sensation, one that she hadn't felt since her last days with Todd…

"A-hem!" Ken suddenly cleared his throat in an obnoxiously loud and impatient manner, causing both June and Dave to jump with a start. "Barnett, I'm sorry to interrupt the lovey goo-goo eye thing you guys got going on, but can we go inside? I'm hungry."

"Ken!" Haley gave her boyfriend an appalled, horrified look, as Rey and Angie (who had been watching the couple with hopeful expressions) frowned in annoyance at Ken. "You jerk! You ruined a beautiful moment!"

"Screw the beautiful moment, I'm _hungry_!"

Dwayne slapped a hand to his forehead. "And this is why I never approve of your boyfriends, Haley…especially not this loudmouth over here."

"Hey!" Ken yelled loudly, having caught the last part of Dwayne and Haley's conversation. "Who are you calling a loudmouth? I am NOT loud!"

"Why don't you shout a little more?" Dwayne said sarcastically. "I don't think they heard you in Tibet."

"WHY YOU—"

"G-guys, don't fight!" June immediately let go of Dave and gave the others an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Ken. I know I'm a slowpoke, but it's the heels. I never wear them, so I'm practically a snail when I have to walk around in them. Let's just go into the Blue Room and find our seats! While we're at it, maybe we can all get a drink before the games start." She laughed awkwardly and moved away from Dave, who in turn glared icy daggers at the beach blond man as June disappeared into the Blue Room with Rey and Angie.

("Angie, I'm going to lose the bet because of Haley's freakin' boyfriend," the Hispanic doctor whispered unhappily to his wife, who shushed him and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"Don't despair, _Cariño_. The right moment will come."

"What are you talking about?" June asked curiously. "What bet?"

"It's nothing!" the couple replied with mischievous grins.)

In the meantime, Dave was trying his hardest not to murder Ken in front of dozens of witnesses. _Don't kill him, don't kill him, Haley's a lawyer, Johnson's a prosecutor, they'll butcher me in court if they see Ken's broken neck and his blood splattered everywhere, so don't kill him…_

Dwayne watched all of this with a calculating eye. "You're going to burst a blood vessel if you don't simmer down, you know," he commented lightly.

"Shut up," the large doctor grumbled. "What do you want? I'm in a bad mood right now."

The prosecutor smirked him, unfazed by the Animal's hissy fit. "Dave man, you seriously need to calm down. How else are you gonna win the heart of that sweet mama if you can't pull yourself together, distractions and all?"

"He's got a point," Ken piped up.

"He does." Haley nodded, making Dwayne lean over to kiss her appreciatively on the top of her head.

"I didn't ask you people for your opinion!" Dave snapped angrily. "And my relationship with June is none of your business, so stay out of this!"

"Temper, temper," Dwayne chastised teasingly. "Look man, I feel sort of bad for you, and I think I have a good handle on that cutie you keep drooling over—"

"Well, that didn't take long," Ken remarked sarcastically. "I'm surprised you didn't ask Barnett if you could sample some of her 'pie' before she left."

"Ken, that's gross!" Haley moaned, gagging at the sudden flood of images that invaded her mind. "Urk, I think I'm going to be sick…"

"—and I recommend," the People's Champion went on, ignoring both Haley and Ken as he continued to smile at Dave, "that you man up, take that little lady by the hand, and get your pitiful excuse for a relationship moving already!"

Dave growled loudly and began to stomp off towards the Purple Lounge. "Just shove off, Johnson!" he yelled, not looking back at the trio behind him. "I didn't ask for your help, so leave me alone!" With that, he rounded the corner and disappeared, leaving Haley, Ken, and Dwayne staring after him with identical nonplussed looks on their faces. The prosecutor then turned to Haley and clicked his tongue judgmentally.

"Haley baby…"

"Yes, Dwayne?"

"How long has that candyass been chasing after that delicious looking piece of pie, anyway? A month? Two months?"

"First off, ew." The young lawyer made a disgusted face. "Never address June like that again! She's a human being, not a piece of pastry! And second…" Haley paused, before she stared at the ceiling awkwardly. "I think they've been tiptoeing around each other for about…a year."

"…"

"…"

"…seriously?" Dwayne asked, one eyebrow raising in disbelief. "A year? And they're still acting like _that_?"

"Oh lord." Ken groaned and shook his head. "He's taking too long. Poor bastard's doomed."

* * *

It hadn't been Dave's intention to stalk off into the Purple Lounge.

There were several reasons for this. First of all, he didn't really want to drink tonight. This was supposed to be a high class event, which meant that everyone would be closely watched by Vickie and her cronies. Second, it wouldn't do to be drunk as a skunk in front of the woman he was still struggling to admit his feelings for. His attempt at walking with her arm-in-arm had been foiled by both Dwayne Johnson and Kenneth Anderson, not only costing him yet another bonding opportunity with June, but also leaving him with a rather bitter taste in his mouth.

These little inconveniences were beginning to grate on his nerves in the worst way, and he had no idea of how to fix this.

_Honestly! Does the universe have something against me having a quiet moment with June? I swear, someone's doing this to me on purpose!_

Had he been anywhere but here, he would have punched several holes in the nearest wall just to relieve some of his pent up frustration. But, as he was in a very public place (which was made even more public due to the fact that there were Food Network cameras everywhere, thanks to that prick Robert Irvine…) he had to settle for seething and raging in silence.

Well, that and having one drink. Just to calm himself down.

Shaking himself out of his anger-induced haze, he took several deep breaths and took a seat at the elegant wooden bar of the Purple Lounge, ordering a beer before he took a quick look around the room.

"Wow." His eyes widened slightly in amazement. The room definitely lived up to its name—all of the walls had been painted a deep plum purple, with shades of light gray and lavender popping up here and there to accentuate the rich, elegant feeling of the area. In the far corner of the room, cream-colored tablecloths were spread over the majestic banquet tables, and the smell of the decadent food wafted teasingly into his nostrils.

His stomach suddenly gurgled in protest, and Dave massaged it briefly. _Well…maybe one bite. I can't just drink without having something to dilute the alcohol, can I?_

Holding his cold beer in one hand, he stood up and headed towards the banquet tables, carefully eyeing the steaks when he was immediately singled out by his now short-haired, loudmouthed ex-best friend who was giving him such a shit-eating grin that Dave wanted to throw his beer bottle straight at his smirking face.

"Dave!" Hunter bellowed happily, and the large doctor immediately turned and tried to escape from the room. "Hey, Dave! Get back here! Where are you going?"

"Away from you," Dave muttered, only to feel Hunter grab his arm tightly and physically haul him back into the Purple Lounge. "Get the hell off me," he snarled, his eyes narrowing at Hunter until they were mere slits. "I swear to god, if you don't let go, I'll crack your skull open on the goddamn bar in front of the whole fucking resort!"

The Cerebral Assassin scowled. "Damn it Dave, are you seriously going to keep doing this? Are you _still_ mad at me? It's been three days! Even Stephanie and Shawn never stay mad at me this long!"

"Unfortunately for you, you can't bribe me with sex or cookies," Dave shot back coldly. "And as for me still being mad…well, that depends on you. Are you still trying to drag June into your cesspool of hell?"

"You know, 'cesspool of hell' sounds so violent and misleading…"

"There's nothing violent or misleading about it!" Dave yanked his arm out of Hunter's grasp, and glared at the man angrily. "I am not going to say this again. Stay the hell away from June."

"Dave…" Hunter sighed and rubbed his temples. "Let's not discuss this now. We're supposed to be having fun by gambling away money for the poor and making idiots like Copeland crumple to the ground and cry. Remember how fun that used to be, Dave? Come on. Let bygones be bygones and let's scam some cash in the Red Room."

"Sadly, I won't be taking a single step into the Red Room," Dave replied testily, "so you'll be devoid of my company this evening. I'm scheduled to be in the Blue Room tonight, and you know how much Vickie hates changing the player slots at the last minute."

"The _Blue _Room?!" The Cerebral Assassin's jaw dropped in what could only be described as sheer horror. "Are you insane? Only freaks are going into the Blue Room! Besides, they're all playing Omaha in there—you _know_ that Texas Hold'em is the only way to go!"

Dave raised a brow. "You do realize that Mark Calaway and Dr. McCool are in the Blue Room too, right? Perhaps I should go inform the lovely couple that you think they're a pair of freaks for their choice in poker?"

"…"

"…"

"Why would you do something so cruel, Dave?"

"You started it. And you know exactly what you have to do to finish it."

Hunter scowled and was about to make a cutting retort when a deep baritone voice suddenly rang out from behind the two men, the tone angry and filled to the brim with disbelief.

"YOU?! What the—what the fuck are you doing here?!"

Before Dave could even register that the venomous statement was directed solely at him, he felt someone grab him by the shoulder before forcefully spinning him around, his brown eyes suddenly meeting a pair of cold, icy blue ones.

"What the…" Dave felt his mouth drop open slightly. "_You_?! How…?"

He recognized this man, this _punk_. This was June's so called _friend_, was the man who had assaulted June in the middle of the streets only a year ago. This was the man who had strangely been driving June around in his car just last night, smiling and touching her and speaking to her as if they were actually old friends. This was the man who he couldn't stand to see the sight of, because for the life of him, he just couldn't understand this punk's relationship with the very woman who had captured his heart.

Now this _asshole_ was standing right in front of him, acting as if the large doctor himself was the problem. And it was ripping away at the last strands of his restraint.

"For the love—of—god!" Dave spat, the fury-ridden words pouring out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "I do _not _need to deal with you tonight!"

"That's what I was going to say!" Randy's normally handsome face was twisted in rage, causing Hunter to stare at the two in utmost confusion. "What the hell are you doing here? This event isn't for fuckwads like you!"

"Good thing I'm not a fuckwad then, am I?" Dave shot back coldly. "Although I can't say the same for you, you piece of shit!"

"Piece of—WHY YOU SON-OF-A—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Hunter bodily forced himself in-between Randy and Dave, shoving the two apart until they were both at a considerable distance from one another. "What's going on? Dave, Orton…how the hell do you two know each other?"

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" the two yelled simultaneously, causing Hunter to flinch at their overly loud volume. "I have a score to settle with this asshole," Randy growled, causing Dave to clench his hands dangerously. "Hunter, I don't know how he knows you, but I don't give a damn! I'm going to finish what I started a year ago, when I saw him groping a friend of mine right in the middle of the fucking streets!"

"You sick, twisted fuck!" Dave roared, his face turning a dark, violet red as his anger became more and more unchecked. "After what you did to her, you have the nerve to accuse me of such a thing?! I'll break you in HALF!" His last words were accentuated by a powerful attempt to lunge at Randy's neck, but Hunter threw his own body in Dave's way, and used every bit of his strength to keep the two men from tearing each other apart.

"Calm down, Dave!" Hunter yelled, struggling to keep the livid Animal away from the seething Legend Killer. "Calm down and have a goddamn drink! Damn it Orton, get out of here! I don't know what the hell you two did to each other, but I'm not having this now! I—"

"Dr. Batista!"

All three men suddenly fell silent, and they turned towards the direction of where the soft, frightened voice had come from. Upon seeing who the person was, their reactions were instant—Dave's anger was immediately replaced by horror and shame, Hunter groaned and tried to mentally block out the presence of the speaker, while Randy's eyes nearly popped out of his skull when he laid eyes on the beautiful woman in front of him.

_Oh my god_, his mind whispered, not recognizing the person in front of him. _Who the hell is that? She's fucking __**gorgeous**__!_

And indeed, the woman was indeed stunning. Her hair was up in a side bun with little tendrils hanging down elegantly. There was just a hint of sparkle to both her white dress and the silver clips in her dark hair, and she shimmered in a kind of ethereal glow when she moved. On her ears were luminous diamond earrings, and on her wrist, a matching bracelet.

And then she stared at him with her large brown eyes, eyes that suddenly widened to impossible sizes as they took him in, _recognizing _him, even. Shock and—was that horror?—filled the woman's face, and the fear in her dark brown irises invoked the memory of yet another woman in Randy's mind, a woman who he saw every day, a woman whose presence he was so used to that he never even once entertained the notion that she could be beautiful in anyone's eyes, much less his own.

And now she was saying his name. And it finally dawned on him who she was.

"R-Randy? Why are you—how—"

"_J-Junie_?! W…what the hell are _you _doing here?!"

* * *

**A/N: Have I mentioned I don't like this chapter? I don't like it at all. Too many high-profile characters to keep up with, even if this is AU. (Yeah, I'm looking at YOU, Dwayne Johnson. You're as bad a roadblock as Cena!) Anyhoohow, I hope that this long chapter makes up for the wait, horrible as it was.**

**Let me give a shout out to **_**WordsLikeStardust**_**, **_**NikkixWasteland**_**, and **_**RKOgirl92**_**. You guys have stuck to this story since nearly the beginning (yikes what were you guys thinking lol), and I always, always, always appreciate your kind reviews. They're what keep me inspired to write this mammoth of a story! Thanks guys!**


	39. Under the Gun, Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in connection with World Wrestling Entertainment.

**Thirty-Nine: Under the Gun, Part 1  
**

_I don't like airports._

_It's one of many places that remind me just how different a person with money is treated from a person who __**doesn't**__ have money. For instance, how come the First Class people can just get on the plane whenever they want? I've always hated that. "First Class passengers, please board at your leisure. No need to rush, just take your time, you lovely First Class passengers who have oodles and oodles of cash strapped to their pockets. Oh wait, you're in Coach? Get your ass back to the waiting area! How __**dare**__ you sully the fine entryway with dirt from your bargain-brand shoes?"_

_Jerks! They almost made mommy cry once, you know._

_But the problems don't end there. When you finally do get on the stupid plane, the First Class people are already sitting there! It's like they're all sprawled out in their big stupid thrones. _

"_Bring me the head of a pig! And a goblet of something cool and refreshing. Anyone have a fiddle? Make someone from Coach fiddle for me, for I wish to be amused." You're not even allowed to use their bathrooms! "The bathrooms up front are for our First Class passengers. The Coach Class bathrooms are located in the Newark Airport. Concourse C." _

_Another thing about the First Class people. They're sitting there, working, and they have computers out and calculators on their laps. And they're looking up at you like, "Hey! We're making money right now! More money than a brat like you could ever dream of! Go get in the back. Close that curtain, I don't wanna see you. Even in my peripheral. Uhhhhh. Snap it, snap it shut!" _

_This is why I don't talk to Daddy Randy about money. Whenever I try to tell him that he can't treat people that way, he gets all huffy and puffy and tells me that people with money have the right to get pampered since they worked so hard to get rich, and that poor people should just stop complaining and apply themselves if they want better treatment too. Mommy left the room after that, Daddy Jeff slapped him upside the head, and Daddy John poured hot coffee on his lap._

_I think Daddy Randy had to go to the hospital fifteen seconds later, but that's another story for another day! Tee hee!_

_The point is, I don't get why having money makes you a better person. Mommy and I don't have that much, but I'm happy as long as I have her! Besides, what's the matter with us, anyway? Why do rich people have to cover us up with a tarp?_

_I don't get them. Mommy and I are perfect, talented, and drop-dead gorgeous. People like Daddy Randy don't know what they're missing._

* * *

_This is not happening._

_This is not happening._

_This. Is. Not. Happening._

The words repeated over and over again within the confines of June's mind as she refused to accept what her senses were telling her. This all had to be some sort of cruel trick her brain was playing. Randy couldn't really be here, right? He never gave a damn about charities, especially considering how greedy he was with his own wealth. He couldn't really be standing in front of her, staring at both her and Dave with that venomous look in his eyes…right?

But he was.

And she felt every drop of blood in her body turn into ice.

_No, no, no, no, no! Why? Why is this happening to me?!_

"What are you doing here, Junie?" Randy asked, his voice dangerously quiet. He took a step towards her and she took a step back on reflex, a move that only seemed to rile him up even further. "What are you doing here, dressed like _that_?" He jabbed a finger at the silky white material covering her body, recognizing it as the dress he had brought for her. The dress she looked astoundingly beautiful in.

The dress she was currently wearing for _another_ man.

"Um…um…I…!" The words seemed to jumble up in her throat, leaving her a stammering, stuttering mess. His inflamed blue eyes were raking over her entire body, and she could feel the hate, fury, and another powerful emotion she couldn't quite identify radiating off of him in waves. But the glare he was giving her…she couldn't figure out why his countenance became so warped upon seeing her with Dave. She couldn't figure out why on earth he was so angry at her, and the sheer intensity of his emotions frightened her beyond words. "Randy, it's—it's not what you think, I swear!"

"It's a formal, high-end charity event, you little punk!" Dave snarled at the younger man, suddenly standing in front of June protectively as he shielded her trembling body with his own. His face was still slightly red from his earlier embarrassment, but anger and rage were quickly returning to the forefront of his emotions. "Dressing up is normally required for things like this!"

"I wasn't talking to _you_!" Randy spat, his face twisting into an ugly look of rage as he rounded on the large doctor. "Is your name June Grisham? No? Then stay the fuck out of this, dumbass!"

"Did you just call me a—how dare you? _Who do you think you are_?!" Dave took a furious step towards the Legend Killer, only to feel June grab his arm in a desperate attempt to stop him.

"Dr. Batista, don't!" she begged. "Don't hurt him, please! He's my friend, but unfortunately he doesn't think before he speaks! He didn't mean it!"

"HEY!" Randy stared at her, hurt and insulted. "Junie, what the hell?! Don't trash talk me in front of other people! And what are you even doing with this guy anyway?" He glared at her from over Dave's shoulder, loathing how she was clinging to the large doctor as if he was a lifeline. "Are you here on a date? Did you doll yourself up just for _him_? This isn't what I'd call a business dinner, I'll have you know!"

"Randy, for the love of god!" June wanted to cry—people in the lounge (particularly Hunter and Edge) were beginning to stare at the two of them very strangely, and it took all she had not to reach out and smack her supposed friend upside the head. "Just stop it! Everyone's staring at us!"

"This punk's just begging for me to break him in half," Dave growled, taking note of the young mother's distress and not liking it one bit. "June, he's insulting you right to your face! I'm not going to put up with shit like that—if this bastard wants to end up in the emergency room that badly, then I'll gladly help put him there!"

"All of you, that's enough!"

Just then, a whole slew of people suddenly seemed to materialize out of nowhere. Before any of them knew what was happening, Randy was physically hauled back by a very aggravated Hunter and Dwayne, while Shawn and Edge muscled themselves firmly in between the livid Animal and Legend Killer like a human barricade.

"Holy monkfish!" Shawn exclaimed loudly. "What's wrong going on? Batista, I could hear you and this numbnut bellyaching from a hundred miles away!"

Hunter groaned softly, giving his friend a pained look. "Please brush up on your mathematics, Shawn. The Red Room is less than ten feet away from here…"

"Who the hell are you calling a numbnut?!" Randy shouted angrily at the Heartbreak Kid. "Come over here and say that to my face! To my FACE!"

"Orton, shut that black hole you call a mouth!" Dwayne snapped, as Edge rolled his eyes in disgust. "Do you know how lucky you are that the Food Network cameras aren't here yet? Do you really want to be known as the hotheaded C.E.O. who lost his mind in front of millions of viewers watching at home? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"It's not my fault!" Randy shouted, point an accusatory finger at a rather agitated Dave. "He started it! He's the one who—and I—I was just trying to—" He sputtered for a moment, trying to get his whirlwind of thoughts together while Hunter and Dwayne both clicked their tongues judgmentally.

"This boy isn't right in the head," Dwayne muttered.

"Tell me about it," Hunter agreed. "I've had to deal with his sick little ass for years though, so don't go complaining after only spending two minutes with him."

"But Hunter, _I_ complained after spending two minutes with Orton," Shawn pointed out.

"You complain about _everything _after only two minutes! You don't count!"

A horrified gasp. "You slandering dog! That is completely untrue! I'll have you know that I've been staring at that pile of cookies for two whole minutes now, and I haven't found a single thing wrong with them so far—wait. Wait! Those aren't chocolate chip! Those are oatmeal raisin! I HATE oatmeal raisin!"

"UGH."

Meanwhile, June took the opportunity to grab Dave's arm (not catching the startled—then somewhat pleased look on his face as she did so) and quickly pull him away from the fray. "I can't believe this," she whispered, trying to put as much distance between herself and Randy as possible. "I just wanted one night of peace. Just one night! How on earth was I supposed to know he would be here too? Curse that man to bits, why does he always have to make everything so confusing and complicated?!"

As the young mother muttered worriedly to herself, Dave slipped his hand into June's, both to reassure her and to calm himself down. "June, I don't think being in this room right now is good for our health. Let's just catch up with Rey and Angie, start ripping money off of the others, and have fun like we're supposed to."

"R-right, sir…" Feeling his anger dissipate, June peeked up at him with large, worried eyes. "Are you feeling alright, Dr. Batista?"

Dave nodded. "Yeah. For some reason, I feel much better now that I'm away from _them_…" He threw a quick glance over his shoulder and felt his lips twist into a bitter smile when he saw that the young Legend Killer looked absolutely infuriated at the sight of June holding his hand.

"Where do you think you're going?" Randy yelled, struggling against the combined strength of Dwayne, Hunter, Shawn, and Edge as he attempted to get to Dave. "Get back here! I'm not done with you! Junie! Junie, get away from him! JUNIE!"

"Not listening, not listening, not listening," June murmured to herself over and over again, trying to mentally block out the young man who was screaming her name so loudly she wouldn't have been surprised if the people on the rooftop garden could hear him. "I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, this is just a bad dream…"

Dave let out a soft, quiet chuckle as Randy's yells only served to make June ten times more agitated. She squeezed his hand harder and increased her speed until she was practically dragging him away, desperate to get back into the Blue Room. _Too bad for you, kid. Seeing as June's on __**my**__ side, holding __**my **__hand, I __am thoroughly done with you._

* * *

"_Oh, there they are, Rey!"_

"_Angie, don't get so excited! The baby, remember?"_

"_Don't mother me, __Cariño. Dave and June are finally here, and I want to start playing…uh-oh."_

"_Uh-oh? I don't like it when you say that. What's wrong?"_

"_Look at June! Her face is completely white! And I think…I think she's shaking."_

"_Crap, she is. Dave looks frazzled too…what the heck happened?"_

"_I don't know. She's frightened and he's upset. There was shouting in the Purple Lounge earlier. Maybe Dave was in a fight?"_

"_That doesn't explain why June's scared, Angie. Now I'm starting to wonder what went on in that room…"_

"_I told you to go with her! Oh, poor dear…should we ask if she's okay, Rey?"_

"_No, let's wait for them to come to our table. They'll have to if they want to play and anyway…I'd rather not get yelled at by Dave again. You know how he gets when he's mad…"_

"_Now I wonder if she tried to intervene and he yelled at her."_

"_If he did, I'll kick his ass. What on earth could June have done to be yelled at? What kind of stupid, heartless bastard could yell at such a sweetheart anyway?"_

* * *

"JUNIE! Goddamn it, woman, get back here right now! Don't you fucking ignore me! Damn it, stop _touching_ him!"

His face twisting into a look of murderous rage, Randy snarled as he struggled against the men who were still trying to restrain him. "Let go, they're getting away! Hunter, Johnson, get the hell off me!"

Looking down at Randy, Hunter let out a very derisive snort. "Are you nuts? You look like you're about to rip someone's testicles off and shove them down his throat. I'm not easing up until I _know _you're calm."

"Seeing as I have great pride in the People's Strudel, I'm going to have to agree with Hunter," Dwayne muttered, his nose crinkling at the unpleasant images the Cerebral Assassin's words invoked. "Orton, we're taking you back to the Red Room and you're going to _stay _there for the rest of the night! Got it?"

Struggling against the hands pinning him in place, Randy narrowed his eyes and hissed through gritted teeth, "Screw the both of you! I am a grown man—"

"That's debatable," Hunter mumbled under his breath.

"—and I'll do whatever the hell I want! Now let me go or I swear I'll kick you all in the fucking balls so hard you'll actually see your life flash before your eyes!"

"Cool your jets, young Randal," Edge cut in, crossing his arms as he raised an inquisitive brow at Randy's outbursts. "I seriously suggest you calm down. Batista and June already snuck off into the Blue Room and are long gone. And for the record, there is no way that big oaf's going to let her out of his sight now, not after that immature display of yours."

Randy growled, his face turning an ugly shade of red. "Shut your mouth, Copeland! This is none of your business!"

"I'm trying to keep your social status intact, you putrid little asshole!" the blond snapped in annoyance. "I mean, come on! You're fighting with some no-talent doctor over a little slip of a woman! Your reputation will go straight down the drain, and don't even get me _started_ on what this might do to your relationship with Sam…"

"What do you mean?" a new voice asked suddenly, and Randy froze in Dwayne and Hunter's arms as Stephanie came into the room. Her beautiful appearance, from her silky olive-green dress to the emeralds sparkling in her ears and around her neck, was completely marred by the mortified expression on her face. Behind her was Sam, who looked equally horrified.

"Hunter, what's going on?" Stephanie asked in concern, although her eyes hardened slightly at the sight of her husband's suit and hair. While she didn't comment on his appearance, it was clear she wasn't pleased by it in the slightest. "We could hear you all the way from the entrance! Were you guys fighting in here?"

Shawn gasped dramatically, feigning shock. "What? WHAT? Fighting? Here? No way, Steph! There's no fighting here! Why would we as grown, totally mature men, throw a temper tantrum in a public gala that's about to be recorded in front of millions of viewers all over the nation?"

"You have our DX Conglomerate merchandise all ready for the cameras, right?" Hunter whispered to Shawn audibly.

"Don't I always?" Shawn whispered back, grinning widely, before returning his attention to the now stone-faced Stephanie. "Anyway princess, you wound us with your horrible, horrible accusations. We are all perfect gentleman and we know how to behave."

"…right." Stephanie stared nonplussed at the sight of Dwayne and Hunter still holding Randy in a constrictive body lock, with Edge and Shawn suspiciously blocking the way to the Blue Room. "You know what? I'm not even going to ask. I don't need the stress, not with the baby in her eighth month."

"That would probably be wise, Steph. Don't need my second goddaughter being born prematurely."

"What the—and who said you were going to be Murphy's godfather? I never agreed to that! HUNTER!"

"Goddamn it Shawn!" Hunter swore loudly. "That was a secret, remember? You weren't supposed to tell her until the day of the christening!"

"Um…oops?"

"I'm sorry to cut into this conversation, but would you please let go of Randy?" Sam begged, staring at the Legend Killer in alarm as he struggled frantically to escape his captors' grasps. "This is highly inappropriate!"

Dwayne snorted aloud. "You should be saying that to your boyfriend," he grumbled, seizing Randy by the shoulders and giving him a good hard shake. "He was the one acting like a lunatic earlier. I'm not letting him go until he promises not to make a scene again!"

"I DIDN'T MAKE A SCENE!" Randy roared, inadvertently drawing more unwanted attention and causing an even bigger scene than before. Using every bit of strength he had, he tore himself out of Dwayne and Hunter's grips, backing away until there was at least five feet of space between himself and the other two men. "For the thousandth time, this is none of your business! It's between me and my friend!"

Edge snorted and rolled his eyes. "A friend, huh? You're sort of overly possessive for a woman who's just a friend. You're acting _psychotically_ possessive, now that I think about it."

"A woman?" Sam blinked, not quite sure if she heard correctly. "Wait, what? Adam, what are you talking about? What woman?"

"Well," Edge replied brightly, "she was this tiny, pretty little thing, and Randal here got all hot and bothered by her. He got _really _pissed off when he found out she was here with someone else, though, and he practically flew through the roof at that."

"He _what_?" Sam cried out, her face paling in horror as Stephanie's hands flew to her mouth in shock. "No, I must have heard you wrong. What did you just say?"

"Don't you listen to a word he's saying, Sam!" Randy snarled, his blue eyes igniting in rage as he glared murderously at the smirking Edge. "And as for you, Copeland, if you like having all your limbs, you'll shut your goddamn mouth and stay out of my business!"

The blond Canadian scoffed and crossed his arms. "Orton, I'm sorry to inform you of this, but it stopped being your business the minute you tried to start a bar brawl in here. It's now Batista's business, little June's business, Hunter's business, Johnson's business, Shawn's business…and Sam's business, especially considering the fact that you basically started this stupid fight over another woman while you already have a girlfriend."

Randy froze.

"You didn't _forget _that little fact, did you?"

Randy narrowed his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek angrily, forcing himself not to explode again as he tried not to slap Edge's smug smirk off his face. "I don't have to answer to you. I don't have to answer to _any _of you! I don't know why you're involving Sam in this when this is just a matter between me and my friend, who unfortunately has a brain the size of a pea! Now if you'll all excuse me, I have to go and drag an idiot woman away from a huge asshole, so I'll just—"

"You'll do no such thing!" Sam cried. Blocking his way to the Blue Room, she planted her hands on her hips and scowled at him in anger. "I don't know who this—this woman friend of yours is, and I don't know what's going on with you right now, but you're not taking another step! We have a date tonight, and the Food Network cameramen have just arrived and started filming! If you go in there and start another disturbance, I'll never forgive you! This is notthe time for you to start cheating on me and causing schoolyard brawls!"

"Oh, for the love of…" Randy let out an aggravated sigh and dropped his head into his hands. Of all the times to pick a fight of him, she had to choose this exact moment? Really? "Sam, I'm not cheating on you. She's just a—" _beautiful woman, gorgeous thing, why the hell did she have to choose now of all times to reveal that she still had her stunning fucking figure even after childbirth GODDAMNIT "—_she's just a childhood friend I grew up with and kept in contact with all these years. Honestly, you don't know anything about what's going on, so please move. This is already shaping up to be a bad night for me, and I _really_ don't need this right now!"

A hurt look came over Sam's face. "Randy…that's not fair. I might understand if you'd actually take the time to explain things to me!"

"I'll explain later! My friend is getting taken advantage of by some overgrown meathead, and I—I—damn it, I have to go, alright?" Without another word, the Legend Killer pushed past Sam and tried to make his way into the Blue Room—only to get grabbed roughly by the scruff of his neck before he was literally hauled off in the opposite direction, straight into the Red Room. "Hey!" Randy yelped. "What the hell?! Get off me!"

"No way in hell, Jabroni," Dwayne cut in firmly, tightening his hold on Randy's neck until the younger man cried out in pain. "I am NOT going to let you go after what I've just seen. On top of all that nonsense, you insulted your woman! How the hell can you call yourself a man?"

Sam gave a weak, albeit grateful smile to the prosecutor. "Thank you, Dwayne. At least _you _still know how to be a gentleman."

"Come on, Sam!" Randy complained, rolling his eyes at his girlfriend. "You're overreacting!"

The brown-haired woman stared at Randy strangely, her lips pulled into a slight, sad frown. "Am I, now?"

"Yes you are! Damn it, can't you let me do _anything_ without poking and prodding me about it? This is a personal matter!" A pang of hurt immediately flashed across Sam's face, but Randy didn't even flinch. "Don't give me that look! Not here, not now! I have a life of my own, and not everything has to revolve around you!"

"Orton, you'll shut up right now if you know what's good for you," Dwayne growled. His eyes were on Sam's face, and the prosecutor was all too aware that her normally beautiful features were now twisted in pain and anguish. "You're going to shut up, apologize to your woman, forget all about Batista and his pretty little mama, and then we're all going to have a nice, _quiet _time in the Red Room…even if I have to clock you over the head and keep you unconscious half the night!"

"What the—you can't do that! _Hunter_!" Randy twisted and flailed as Dwayne physically dragged him into the Red Room. "Old man, do something! Make him stop!"

The Cerebral Assassin threw Randy a nonplussed stare, before grinning at Dwayne and giving him a thumbs up. "Keep at it, Johnson. Oh, and hold onto his neck a little tighter, will you? He's starting to free himself up a bit…"

"Don't want him getting loose now!" Shawn piped up, nodding his head in agreement.

"DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! I HATE YOU!"

"The feeling is mutual, kid," Hunter replied, sighing as he grabbed hold of Randy's arm (with Shawn simultaneously grabbing Randy's other arm), and helped Dwayne carry the kicking and screaming Legend Killer into the Red Room.

Meanwhile, Stephanie looked at Sam worriedly and gently placed a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "Sam…honey, are you alright?"

Sam didn't answer.

"Hey, don't listen to Randy. He talks out of his ass on more than one occasion, you know that. Forget about him and just enjoy this night. Who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky and he won't make the place explode from his boorishness."

"I…I guess you're right. It's just…" Sam lowered her eyes and shook her head weakly. "It's just the way he talks to me. Sometimes I just wonder about us."

Stephanie squeezed her shoulder and gave her a sad smile. "I know, honey. I know."

* * *

**A/N: There will not be a "Jamie's Short Story" intro in the next chapter. This chapter was supposed to be a heck of a lot longer and was supposed to have at least three more scenes…but I can't make you guys wait any longer. Three months is too much. So, chapter was split but Jamie's intro will not make an appearance next chapter.**

**I know this is short, and it's probably not what you wanted after waiting all this time, but the last three months have been HELL for me. I'm overworked at my job and I'm about to fall over, but it's not over yet. I probably still have another month or so of this ridiculous workload, and the only reason I'm putting this up now is because I have a rare bit of free time thanks to Memorial Day.**

**I deeply apologize, but I can't write when I'm tired and I'm always tired lately. I'm sorry. That's all I can say.**


End file.
